Broken Tools
by SPVNK DVNGER
Summary: Who's idea was it to give a jinchuuriki almost absolute control over his bones? Why did they think unleashing this kind of danger into the elemental nations was a good idea? Eventual Strong Naruto, Bloodline Naruto.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, bear with me guys since this is my first crack at writing a fanfiction. To my knowledge, I don't think anyone has tried to do to Naruto what I'm gonna do, so hopefully I'll have a good time trying to finish this story. Without further ado, let's get started.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 1: Put the wheels in motion**

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Jutsu)!"

With these words being spoken out loud on this ill fated night, this could only spell trouble for Konohagakure (Village hidden in the leaves). A massive plume of smoke began to consume the surrounding area, easily towering over the village itself while giving shinobi and civilian alike within the vicinity a sudden feeling of trepidation.

The size of the cloud of smoke blanketing the area was already a noteworthy subject of concern, however the fact it was within the village without originating from one of the many training grounds designated for shinobi and also emanating a massive, unbridled amount of killing intent served to further enhance the amount of panic that was in the process of brewing.

The figure responsible for ushering in the threat to the village, a man dressed in a hooded cloak to cover his body and hide any distinguishing features on his person, stood calmly at the base of the plume of smoke, seemingly unaffected by the intense malicious energy filling the air around him. Turning his gaze upwards, he patiently waited for the aftereffects of his jutsu to clear out.

A lone sharingan looked into the eyes of the gargantuan beast, the malevolent glee within the dojutsu shining through the singular eye hole found on the perpetrator's orange mask. His plans were finally coming into fruition.

If the tone in the atmosphere weren't so dreadful, he probably would've cracked a wild smile. Not that anyone else would be able to notice, with the mask present and all.

His dojutsu began to spin as he maintained eye contact with two glowing red eyes belonging to the source of the malevolent presence, stating his commands to the being clearly, "Kyuubi, go forth and bring forth the destruction of the hidden leaf!" Nine colossal tails covered in orange fur fanned out , instantly dispersing the remaining smoke in the area.

The following roar that bellowed out caused every living being of every gender and age within Konoha to freeze in their tracks, becoming the catalyst for the chaos that descended upon the leaf village on this night.

The Kyuubi no Yoko (Nine Tailed Demon Fox) then proceeded to carry out the hooded figure's will, swinging it's tails back and forth with no regards for anything caught in the crossfire. No innocents were spared, as houses, shops, and unfortunate souls were slammed into, standing no chance whatsoever against the might of the demon's limbs. The death toll was rapidly climbing for the night, as carcasses of shinobi and civilians, men, women, children, and the elderly were littering the streets and remains of buildings.

At first frozen in fear and disbelief, the shinobi that didn't perish due to the fox's preemptive strike steeled their nerves, realized that their home was under attack, and leapt into action, willing to put their lives on the line in order to save the village. Some shinobi began evacuating the citizens away from the absolute carnage that the Kyuubi was doing an exceptional job in performing, while others began doing all that they could to combat the walking force of destruction, lobbing weapons and their best jutsu at their foe.

Despite their efforts, it was clear that unless some shinobi of a higher caliber stepped in and pulled out all the stops, the possibility of the hidden village becoming nothing more than mass grave site had a high success rate. High grade explosive tags wrapped around the handles of thrown kunai that would put a battalion of shinobi six feet in the dirt were seeming to be minor annoyances to the Kyuubi. Deadly jutsu meant to make a human being experience a date with death bounced off of the Kyuubi's orange pelt, making the shinobi present slowly yet surely start to realize that taking down the menacing monster was just a tad above their pay grade.

On a rooftop twenty meters to left of the monster, a squad of six shinobi prepared a collaboration jutsu in an attempt to actually deal some damage. With chakra gathered and resolves raised, the group finished performing their respective hand seals as their plan commenced. The small band of hopeful shinobi were positioned in a circular formation, with the leading ninja in the front of the formation setting the ambitious attack plan off with the opening jutsu, "Doton: Doryuheki (Earth Style: Earth Wall)!" A sizeable slab of earth rose from the street below, situated directly in front of the group. Though the size of the wall blocked their view of the intended target, the attackers were not concerned about missing due to two main reasons.

One, part of the attack had two shinobi on hand use wind release techniques to aim and direct the projectile in mid air, while simultaneously providing an additional boost in speed as well as enhancing another key component of the attack.

Two, they'd have to be blind and turned around to actually miss something that fucking big. Seriously, if they couldn't hit a fox the size of a mountain from twenty meters away while the Fox was staying within the general vicinity that it was in now, they'd need to reconsider their own careers as shinobi.

Provided they survived, of course.

The shinobi who erected the wall took off at speed, imbuing his right hand full of earth based chakra. With a mighty grunt of effort, he placed a precise uppercut onto the wall, the earth chakra present within his hands preventing him from demolishing his own knuckles while breaking a chunk of the makeshift future projectile off. It ascended into the air on a more vertical climb, enabling the rest of the troop to follow through with their parts in the objective.

Several things happened within the next couple of seconds.

The two shinobi that were up next released their respective jutsu, spewing sizeable fireballs at the suspended slab of rock that super heated the floating projectile.

The final two in the rag tag band of ninja added their two cents into the mix as well, with one letting loose a strong, broad wind release jutsu to cut the slab down into multiple fragments and magnify the fireballs speed and size, while the other took note of the now flying flaming projectile akin to a spread of shotgun pellets that was moving toward the malice incarnate being known as the Kyuubi. Determined to see their plan succeed, he gathered the necessary chakra to his legs and took off after it, leaping across rooftop after rooftop in pursuit of the attack. Noticing that he was rapidly approaching the Kyuubi while it was distracted, he jumped at the attack at an appropriate angle in order to boost the the attempted attack into their specific target area.

Namely, the Kyuubi's eyes. It made sense, as throughout the battle, many noticed that aiming for the beast's body wasn't really doing as much damage as they would like. With this in mind, the group came to a conclusion: why not aim for the eyes?

It was a gamble that they hoped would work.

"Futon: Daitoppa (Wind Style: Great Breakthrough)!" Providing as much chakra as he could for the jutsu, a great surge of wind was released from his body, accelerating the already rapidly travelling impromptu attack even further. His efforts saw success, as right when he shouted the jutsu name, the Kyuubi conveniently turned his head in the falling shinobi's direction, just in time to catch a face full of molten hot earth fragments.

The mighty beast howled in pain as the searing hot projectiles found their way to his eyes and nose, filling the surrounding shinobi with large amounts of hope and renewed morale.

"Yes, finally! Something actually hurt the fucker!"

"Keep at it guys, aim for the face! Its his actual weak point! Show this bastard what happens when you try to destroy our home!"

As battle cries of courage rang out throughout the damaged village, the Kyuubi recovered from the surprise attack and decided to pay the shinobi back for their efforts.

With interest.

With a malicious, hate filled grin creeping onto it's face, the Kyuubi turned it's vision in the direction of the offending party who dared to attack it. Concentrating his killing intent, the Kyuubi did something that no one was prepared for.

It laughed.

It proceeded to laugh uproariously while turning it's whole body in their direction, not once breaking eye contact with the insignificant beings while purposely swinging his tails about to cause further destruction and agony. Continuing its trend of leaving all those present speechless, it then abruptly stopped laughing, yet maintaining the glare...

...Then proceeded to talk to them, instantly shocking all of those that believed it to be nothing more than a mindless animal who is too damn big and incapable of speech.

" **That was cute."**

Without fanfare, the Kyuubi then proceeded to jump around like a dog playing around with its favorite toy, further spreading his unique brand of chaos in all directions. Many of the surrounding shinobi, including the ones who experienced a small victory in having their plan go through, found themselves killed from the beast's actions, as the tails managed to catch a large number of them off guard due to the Kyuubi's sudden movements. Sometimes the simplest methods worked, and what better way to reduce a village to rubble as a gigantic fox easily larger than the Hokage monument than to just move around haphazardly and act a fool?

It surely was an excellent method, as the results were becoming more and more satisfying.

X.X.X

(Hokage Monument)

Standing on top the monument, a blond haired man surveyed the amount of damage the village was taking. Numerous fires in the village ran rampant, while many buildings no longer stood, decorating the village in various amounts of debris.

He maintained a calm visage despite the beating he was witnessing his home take. He did slip up and show a brief look of surprise when he heard the Kyuubi's deep baritone voice sound out, but returned back to his calm state shortly after. He then watched the Kyuubi change his attack pattern from making large, devastating sweeps with his arms and tails to just acting like an overgrown excited dog, actually doing even more damage than before.

One would assume him to be indifferent to the fact that the Kyuubi is just going to town on Konohagakure due to him standing by, observing. However, behind that calm gaze, was a calculating man determining the best way to combat the Kyuubi. Rushing in haphazardly wouldn't do anything but probably get him killed. Trying to hit that thing with a big jutsu would probably slow it down and catch its attention, but not defeat it. Taijutsu...

... Desperate times call for desperate measures, but that was just a dumbass idea. Good thing nobody will ever know that Minato Namikaze ever had the thought of trying to fight a biju in hand to hand combat. That would just ruin his reputation.

Moving on to less suicidal ideas, the only thing left that the Yondaime Hokage could seriously consider at this point was fuinjutsu. It was becoming glaringly obvious that going toe to toe with a gigantic demon with nigh infinite levels of chakra, no matter how many different types of jutsu or tactics being used, was a rather one sided battle. Trying to kill it wasn't accomplishing anything but providing whoever's in the toe tags and body bags business a large surge in corpses, which could see a potential boon in that side of the village's economy, that is if the village was left standing after tonight. Thus, the only way to beat the creature was to attempt to seal it away. The only problem with that theory at the moment, is that he lacked something to seal a being of that size.

Trying to seal the Kyuubi into a regular sealing scroll is like trying to fit a full grown blue whale into a wallet.

It just wasn't going to happen.

As the Yondaime was absorbed into his inner planning, a new development with the Kyuubi occurred. Putting the oversized puppy routine on pause, the Kyuubi registered two separate entities that required its immediate attention. First was the powerful chakra signature that it recognized from its time within Kushina Uzumaki, it's previous host. The man who was known throughout the world as the fastest shinobi alive, Minato Namikaze was the first signature the creature gave its full attention to. Being the husband of a woman that's from a clan that was known and feared for their proficiency in fuinjutsu, the blonde haired, blue eyed wonder was bound to pick up a neat trick or two when it comes to sealing. That bumped him up on the Kyuubi's "kill on sight with large amounts of overkill" list, as he was probably the only human as of now that posed a major threat to his freedom.

He refused to acknowledge the second presence in that general direction as a threat, as it instantly recognized that sickening aura belonging to the man that placed this hypnotism on it. That puny little shit with the broken pink eye that the humans revered so much wouldn't last ten seconds against the Kyuubi without his precious little dojutsu.

Honestly, it made the Kyuubi sick to think that one little instance of eye contact was all he needed to take control of a biju such as itself. Disgusting really.

As it began to notice that the genjutsu it was under was beginning to lose its hold, the Kyuubi decided to start pulling out all the stops and turned to face the Hokage monument. Gathering chakra around its mouth, the Kyuubi couldn't help but have a little bit of excitement surge through its being. With this attack, it saw absolutely no losses that could come from this, because two things would be a definite after the attack was let loose.

One, the Yondaime and the dojutsu dickhead would get caught in the blast radius, eliminating two thorns in its side.

Two, they would survive the attack by dodging it with their respective abilities, but any other humans in that vicinity would have a very, very high chance of dying due to the blast radius.

Plus their precious monument would be absolutely annihilated, so less morale for the surviving weaklings.

See, complete win win.

Finally gathering all of the chakra necessary to nuke the village into the sweet embrace of not existing, the Kyuubi aimed it's onslaught at the stone kage's heads, and sent it down range. The Inari (Tailed Beast Ball) flew through the sky, grabbing all of the attention in the area due to the ridiculous amounts of chakra and killing intent present within the airborne assault. Having found its target, the biju bomb proceeded to detonate, bringing pure joy to the Kyuubi's little malicious heart.

Well, it would have had that damn Yondaime didn't fuck everything up with those ridiculous seals.

Gritting its teeth, the Kyuubi watched as it's delivered product was teleported away from the village, a sealing array originating from that infernal blond haired bastard's little signature kunai. The detonation happened about a good 3 miles behind the monument, lighting up the sky with the massive explosion that was surely visible from a distance while shaking the earth itself, sending out shockwaves in all directions that shook every human being to the core.

Seeing that he was on the right track with his theory about using fuuinjutsu to partake in battle with the behemoth, Minato prepared to launch one of his signature kunai in the direction of the fox. Before he could make good on his intentions however, he found himself being subjected to what he deduced as an attempt to teleport him away. He quickly disappeared from the scene in a yellow flash, providing evidence that his moniker wasn't just something he convinced people to say because it made him sound cool.

A swirl that seemed to originate from thin air made itself known moments later, revealing the owner of the teleportation jutsu to be none other than the same man who let the Kyuubi run wild in the village. He looked around, before letting out an exasperated sigh, "Wow, he really is that fast. Didn't expect him to be quick enough to escape. Damn shinobi living up to their titles, why can't anything just be easy?"

Cutting his rant short, he casted one more look out over the village, savoring the destruction and lingering on a certain district of the village a little longer than the others, before disappearing from view, going after the Yondaime.

He chose to ignore the several snakes creeping their way throughout the village, for as long as they didn't interfere with his goals, they were nothing he should concern himself with.

X.X.X

(Two hours later, outskirts of Konoha)

This was not going the way Minato intended to. Although he was successful in completely severing the bond between the Kyuubi and the masked man who he came to know as Tobi, successful in preventing another Inari from detonating inside the village, and successful at keeping his newborn Naruto and weakened wife Kushina out of harm's way, shit still went sour.

It was mainly due to the fact that he and his wife were impaled by the Kyuubi's claw in a last second attempt to save Naruto, but also due to the decision he was about to make regarding Naruto himself. Not wanting to ask anyone else to make this sacrifice, he ended up having to make it. He was going to use the Shiki Fujin (Reaper Death Seal) to seal the other half of the Kyuubi within his son. Hoping that this would turn out for the best, the Yondaime finished the hand seals required to complete the ritual and seal the Kyuubi away.

Being the giant fuzzball of anger and hate that everyone knows and loves, the Kyuubi decided to speak his piece before being confined to his prison, " **DAMN YOU YONDAIME, DAMN YOU AND YOUR WIFE FOR SEALING ME AWAY YET AGAIN! I HOPE THE SHINIGAMI GOES TO TOWN ON YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A SOUL! I'LL KILL EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR!"** His loveable commentary on his current circumstances were cut short, as the sealing was complete and his body was sucked into the seal present on young Naruto's body.

The barrier erected by Kushina's chakra chains began to dissipate as what little of her life force that remained left this plane of existence. Her and Minato's now lifeless bodies laid beside their child, who began to cry out in discomfort. Young Naruto was not left alone for long, due to the fact that as soon as the barrier completely went down, Hiruzen Sarutobi, known throughout the elemental nations as the Kami no Shinobi (God of Shinobi) and the Sandaime Hokage, arrived on the scene. Picking up the infant and holding him securely, Hiruzen gazed upon the boy's face. Based on how he looked already, the old monkey could tell that his facial structure and eye shape came from his mother. He rocked Naruto back and forth in order to calm him down, making his best efforts to quell the infant's crying spell. Eventually after five minutes, Naruto stopped crying and cracked his eyes open, giving the Sandaime a glimpse at the ocean blue eyes that held that innocence found in all babies.

The two shinobi that accompanied Hiruzen to the area wisely chose to stay back and not interfere with the touching moment. Watching the Sandaime soothe the fussy baby after witnessing all that has happened during the night reminded the two of what the village really fought for. They fought to keep the Will of Fire going, to keep the future generation safe so that they could move forward and achieve the greatness that they are destined for.

"Awwww, how adorable. An old monkey comforting a newborn baby he found while swinging from his trees. This is such a tender moment, I do hope I'm not interrupting. Oh who am I kidding, I am interrupting... I hope you can forgive my rudeness, sensei." A voice that was all too familiar to Hiruzen stopped him dead in his tracks, while prompting the two other shinobi to immediately hop into a defensive formation, shielding Hiruzen and Naruto with their bodies.

Hiruzen turned around to face the source of the voice, immediately assessing the situation and what he could do to prevent this man from harming the baby. Despite his world renowned skill that has accumulated over countless situations, battles, and wars, the Sarutobi knew that this was possibly an even more bleak situation than earlier.

The possibilities of Murphy's law smashed into the Sandaime like a ton of bricks the moment that voice rang out. Numerous things could go wrong, and they probably would.

He could be here to assassinate Hiruzen himself.

He could be here to attack the village.

He could be here to kill Naruto in order to spite Minato, as he held some resentment over Minato becoming Hokage instead of him.

He could be here to take more people for his sick experiments.

Anything could happen, and if Hiruzen knew his student well enough, he knew to stay on his toes and be ready to act at a moment's notice.

Looking the man in the eye, Hiruzen questioned him in a tone that left no room for idle conversation, "Boy, you have a lot of nerve to show your face around here. What is the meaning of this, Orochimaru?" The questioned party simply tilted his head and flashed a dangerous smirk that put all of the Konoha aligned shinobi on edge. "Ah sensei, you were always so quick to the point with me. Why the tense body language? Do these two shinobi that you have with you right now think they could honestly pose as a deterrent to me in case I decide to act? That's foolish thinking. My my, I do hope you're not becoming senile that rapidly climbing age, sensei. It would be a shame to see all of that knowledge that the Kami no Shinobi possesses go to waste..." Orochimaru's amber, serpentine eyes scanned the three in front of him, eyes hovering over the child in Hiruzen's arms, specifically those whisker marks that were prominent on his cheeks.

He then decided to humor his former teacher, and explain why he happened to be present at the moment, "Although I enjoy making people squirm just from being in my presence, I fear that I am not here for unnecessary bloodshed sensei. I have a different goal in mind, one that unfortunately, will probably lead to conflict... unless you'd be willing to hear me out. How about it sensei, until necessary we can skip the hostilities and just talk."

The Sarutobi glared at the pale skinned man, refusing to let his guard down for even a second. One does not tread lightly around a S rank opponent without asking for a death wish. "Enough of your games of verbal run around, out with it now."

"Fine, fine." Orochimaru agreed, placing his hands up in a mock placating manner, "If you must know, a little birdy have me a tip to be in the area. He informed me about a prime opportunity that is too good to pass up. It would be folly of me to not capitalize on such a potential boon for me you see, so I decided to drop in. I was roaming around the village while it was being attacked by the biju, followed it around for a little to occupy the time while waiting for my prize to present itself. Fast forward to the present, take note of where we are and what's specifically here, and I'm sure you can connect the dots, Kami no Shinobi..." His devious smirk gradually changed while he was giving out bits and pieces of information. It went from a smirk to a full blown grin chock full of sinister intent.

The stuff that kid's nightmares are made out of.

Hiruzen immediately arrived at the point that Orochimaru was leading him to, and gasped in shock. He didn't want to destroy Konoha, he didn't come for his head either.

No, he came for something far more important.

As if he was a little psychic python, Orochimaru flicked his tongue about with glee as he spoke out loud what Hiruzen was currently thinking. These words served to instantly raise the tension in the area immediately.

"I want the boy, sensei."

The two shinobi in front of Hiruzen stood no chance against the thousands of snakes that erupted from the ground sending chunks of the ground blasting in all directions with no prior warning, and fell victim to the savage serpentine attack. Fangs dripping with highly potent venom entered the two, puncturing any and all areas that were available.

Hiruzen jumped back and prepared to turn tail and run back to the village, since it was obvious that trying to go head up with a S rank opponent that didn't spend a majority of the night fighting a humongous demon fox while protecting an infant was just a big tall glass of no. If he didn't have Naruto in his hands, he would've stayed and attempted to rectify his mistakes, but that boy's life held more importance than killing his student at the moment. Hiruzen glared at his former student, his killer intent reaching palpable levels in response to two of his comrades dying before him. Growling to further display his anger, he then questioned the murderer in front of him, "What happened to no unnecessary bloodshed, boy? Was that not what you asked for?"

"Simple. They were in the way, so I felt that it was necessary to remove them from the equation."

Damn him and that twisted logic of his.

Orochimaru took note of his sensei's preparation to run, and dashed towards him, covering the distance within seconds. Approaching his prey, he let out a sickening cackle as he taunted the monkey, "Oh sensei, planning to run is a smart move, but pray tell. How will you manage to defend both yourself and the boy?" With disgusting ease, Orochimaru regurgitated his sword of Kusanagi, placed it in his right hand, and attempted to bifurcate Hiruzen while simultaneously sending snakes out of his sleeve in a wide, blanket like spread at his objective. This attack strategy was foolproof, as it forced Hiruzen to either dodge the sword and still get caught in the blanket of snakes, or get clipped by either one, leaving him weakened and therefore making it easier to take Naruto.

What Orochimaru forgot to account for is that Hiruzen didn't grow to be this old in their violent shinobi world without becoming a crafty bastard...

Instead of trying to dodge either attack, Hiruzen actually moved _closer_ to Orochimaru, a dangerous grin not unlike the one found on his student earlier forming. Allowing himself and Naruto to be struck down, an almost manic smile appeared on the battle hardened face of the old monkey as he mouthed the word "boom"...

Then exploded, creating a massive crater in the ground and catching his student dead at the center of it.

A smoking carcass flew from the epicenter of the trap, travelling at speed through the forest and knocking down several of the overgrown trees in its path. After coming to a stop due to a tree being brave enough to stand tall and firm and stop the human projectile in its tracks, the smoking carcass belonging to Orochimaru laid at the base of the tree, seemingly dead.

That is until, two hands came out of the mouth of the corpse, pulling out a brand new, unscathed Orochimaru. Despite being caught at point blank range of an explosion, a smile was still evident on his face as he surveyed the damaged landscape from that last attack.

He instantly pieced together what happened, knowing that Hiruzen used the cover of the snakes attacking his two discount bodyguards to make two exploding shadow clones, then escape the area.

One would assume that he would be slightly disgruntled due to the fact that his prey managed to escape, however it was not the case. Orochimaru knew that taking the boy would not be an easy task since Hiruzen was guarding him, even with Hiruzen being visibly worn down from his previous affairs with fighting the Kyuubi. Then again, nothing worth doing was ever easy, and he set out to continue his pursuit.

It would be a waste of time to come here if he left without his future jinchuuriki host.

Good thing he summoned a large number of snakes of varying sizes in the vicinity to slow Hiruzen down.

X.X.X

(With Hiruzen)

Run. Jump. Flip over. Evade. Dodge.

This was the routine Hiruzen has settled into ever since he slipped away from the clearing they were in. He was lucky that the snake attack provided cover for him to make two sets of clones, the exploding clones that were to buy him some time. And the other clones, which were to grab both Minato's and Kushina's corpses and seal them and take them back to the village.

Escaping into the forests with Naruto was the easy part. Navigating through the area, that's where things got tricky. Orochimaru basically booby trapped the whole forest that Hiruzen was travelling through with various amounts of snakes, and it was becoming more and more difficult to navigate. Had he not been assisting the village in defending against that blasted Kyuubi, he'd be easily breezing through the canopy. But combine the fatigue, his old age reminding him that he wasn't as able bodied, and the infant in his arms, that led to a recipe that wasn't working in Hiruzen's favor.

Hiruzen landed on a branch after he noticed that the guerilla attacks from the snakes were letting up, allowing himself to catch his breath and check on Naruto. He looked down at the baby, gazing into the boy's eyes. Despite the fact that they were navigating through an obstacle course straight out of a snake enthusiast's dream, the little jinchuuriki showed no signs of visible discomfort, which was surprising. He was expecting the boy to be raising Hell with the amount of crying he should have been doing, but instead he was going along for the ride, maybe even enjoying it.

Hiruzen didn't dwell on the lack of crying for long, as his sixth sense that all shinobi have developed came into play and warned him about immediate danger in the area. He should've found it fishy that there seemed to be reprieve after that endless onslaught of snakes.

Determined to avoid dying, the Sarutobi leaped off of the oversized branch, looking back to see a snake the size of a train turn his previous perch into a pile of extra large splinters, sending wood chips flying throughout the air.

Sarutobi landed on the ground, and made a dash past the titanic serpent while it was recovering from its lunge. He made it about ten meters past the previous obstacle before two more mammoth snakes attempted to sandwich him in from the sides, mouths wide open to devour the old monkey. Not one to be taken out by such amateur tactics, Hiruzen simply jumped up into the air, taking care to make sure that Naruto was secure in his arms.

Looking down, he watched his attackers attack each other as a loud meaty smack rang out throughout the forest, tangling themselves up with each other's bodies. As his ascent began to reach his peak while his attention was preoccupied with the snakes down below, he failed to notice the most dangerous snake appear behind him until it was too late.

"Sen'eijashu (Hidden Shadow Snake Hands)!"

A multitude of snakes wrapped around Hiruzen, ensnaring his limbs and neck to get him to relinquish his hold on Naruto in mid air. The poor child dropped out of his grip, prompting Hiruzen to yell out in alarm. As much as he tried to fight, he quickly realized that several of the snakes were biting him, pumping his body up full of various toxins. He could only watch as time seemed to slow down as Naruto fell...

... Until yet another snake from a nearby branch coiled up, and lunged through the air and swallowed the infant whole before descending down to the forest floor. Hiruzen's expression reflected nothing but pure horror as he too began his descent. Instead of the toxins killing him, they served to paralyze the Hokage. This became clear as Hiruzen was unable to adjust himself in mid fall, and suffered a rather harsh landing into a branch face first, hitting it with a visible crunch.

Down on the forest floor, Orochimaru approached the snake that swallowed Naruto, giving a satisfied grin while exuding an air of accomplishment. He ordered the snake to travel underground back to his base as quickly as possible, emphasizing the point that the boy was to be kept safe, not devoured. With that business settled, he casted a glance upwards in the direction that Hiruzen was in. He felt that some good old fashioned rubbing salt in the wound was in order, so he leapt up to the branch. Proceeding with caution, he approached the still conscious old man.

"Don't worry sensei, the Yondaime's progeny will be safe with me. I'll take good care of our little jinchuuriki, and help him realize his potential to the fullest extent. I'm afraid our little reunion will have to be cut short, so farewell!" After gloating, he then rolled his sensei over, just to smile maliciously in his bloody, bruised face while waving in an antagonistic manner.

He was a real bastard when he wanted to be.

Business in the area done, Orochimaru vacated the premises. Hiruzen laid there, unable to move or wipe the tears starting to slow freely from his eyes. " _Minato, Kushina, I'm sorry that I couldn't keep him safe. I'm so sorry."_

Things weren't looking too well for Konoha. Not at all.

X.X.X

(Three Days Later, Hidden base)

Footsteps echoed through the corridor, as the nondescript hooded ninja walked towards his master's quarters. His chest was tight with anxiety, as the news he was tasked with delivering was not good news. Add on to the fact that ever since the arrival of the jinchuuriki, the boss has been extremely ill tempered concerning his forces due to their quote unquote "incompetent natures" in regards to keeping the infant out of harm's way, it was clear that anybody that enjoyed being able to not be devoured by giant snakes tried their hardest in staying away from their leader unless absolutely necessary.

This poor, unfortunate soul got the short stick in life today. Sucks to be him.

Coming to a singular door at the end of the damp, dimly lit hall, he steeled his nerves, took a deep, calming breath, and spoke out, "Orochimaru-sama, I come with news regarding one of your recent experiments. May I come in?" He waited with baited breath for what seemed to be an eternity, before the door opened.

"You may enter, and do be quick with your news. I'm not in a very pleasant mood right now."

Our cannon fodder messenger entered the room quickly, and took note of the contents within. Standing over a bed with a baby laying on it, Orochimaru stood alongside two young boys, each with differing characteristics. The first one, aged around eight, had glasses, grayish hair, and a purple high collared shirt and pants combo. Standing beside the bespectacled young lad, a young boy with white hair and two red dots decorating his forehead no older than three years old gazed upon the person that entered the room. Orochimaru shot a glance across the room to the messenger, eyes reflecting a minute amount of curiosity in what he had to say, "Kabuto-kun, hold your thoughts. Now you, my little messenger. What is the good news you have decided to bring me? I sure do hope that it is something that'll lift my spirits."

The sickening, false happy tone that his voice conveyed absolutely terrified the messenger. It was taking all of his willpower not to just pretend to piss his pants. God, he hoped he survived this.

"Well Orochimaru-sama, as you recall you left several of your medical shinobi in charge of monitoring your test subjects that you injected with the Mokuton kekkei genkai..." He trailed off, trying to keep himself steady.

"Remember what I said before you entered the room, I'd hate for young Naruto-kun here to become fussy due to his room being coated with your insides."

Shit. Resolve just dipped yet strengthened at the same time.

Gulping audibly, he willed himself to continue, "Yes sir. I regret to inform you that all but one of your test subjects died."

Orochimaru simply stood there with a neutral expression in play, which unintentionally served to unsettle the poor boy even further.

"How's the one child who survived?"

...

...

Killing intent started gradually choking those in the room, waking up Naruto and causing him to cry while bringing the messenger to his knees.

There goes his bladder.

 _"Such power! I think these are my last moments... might as well get it out. I had a good run."_ The messenger thought to himself, trying his hardest not to pass out on the floor.

"Well, overseers of the experiment reported that he's missing. They have reason to believe that he escaped."

"Oh? Do tell."

"There were several skewered shinobi, bodies riddled with large, sharp splinters of wood. There's also a tree growing out of the west wing of the base, it grew through the roof and that's where they made the conclusion that he escaped."

Damn, the only test subject that survived got to escape. Seems like there were several shinobi under him that needed severe punishments and excruciating training regimes in order to avoid slip ups like this in the future.

Despite the fact that the Mokuton hopeful got away, Orochimaru still found a way to place a calculating smirk on his face. Looking down at Kimimaro, then at Naruto, he then chuckled in a way that informed Kabuto that he had a plan brewing, "Orochimaru-sama, your thoughts?" Kabuto asked the Sannin, knowing that that look held a hidden agenda not yet known to those present.

"It seems that there is something that can be gathered from the unfortunate event of my potential Mokuton warrior. Think about it Kabuto-kun, take note of all the people present in the room... specifically the two youngest. You're a smart boy, I know you can figure out why I am absolutely excited, giddy even." Saying that he was excited was an understatement. The amount of potential he saw in this situation was absolutely ridiculous, even for him.

It's like Kami himself decided to bless him, despite all of the morally deprived, fucked up things he's done in his lifetime.

Kabuto heeded his master's words, and began analyzing the two while keeping the results of the previous experiment in mind. Turning his gaze onto Naruto first, he then began his analysis. Naruto was a jinchuuriki, which were known throughout the elemental nations as the powerhouses of shinobi. They were the people that got sent onto the battlefield to turn the tides of battle due to their high levels of durability, above average chakra capacities, and freakish stamina.

Throw in the additional fact that Naruto was an Uzumaki, a clan known for their naturally high levels of potent chakra and longer life spans than the average shinobi, and you've already got a supposedly exceptional warrior on paper based on these attributes alone.

Moving his gaze onto the second youngest there, Kabuto began to mentally take apart what made the albino youth so special.

Kimimaro came from the Kaguya clan, a savage, battle hungry clan with a penchant for brutal confrontations with just about anyone. His real selling point however, was his kekkei genkai. The Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) kekkei genkai allowed it's wielder to manipulate their skeleton freely along with other benefits, such as a regenerative healing factor, a high resistance to taijutsu based attacks due to the fact that attacking a person who could utilize their bones to decimate any attacker that foolishly attempts to engage in close quarters combat is a pretty suicidal idea, and having the best offense and defense at once since the owner was literally a walking weapon that could defend easily or attack with no remorse. With these two equally deadly sources of potential in mind, Kabuto then put two and two together, before gazing upon the serpentine Sannin in shock, "Surely you do not mean to-" Orochimaru interrupted Kabuto, at this point smiling and exuding so much twisted optimism, those in the room just came to the realization that there was something worse than the snake's wrath.

His happiness.

"I'm glad we're on the same page now Kabuto-kun, now come. Grab our little Naruto-kun, we have a procedure to revamp and perfect so we don't have that such of a low success rate again." With his piece spoken, an absolutely ecstatic Orochimaru made his way to the doorway. Before exiting the room, he crouched down beside the messenger, who was still visibly shaking from the amount of killing intent that he was blasted with.

He also reeked of urine, not a good look at all right now.

Orochimaru placed a soothing hand on the young lad's back, rubbing it as if he were trying to console the young lad. Moving his hand up to the back of the terrified boy's head, he began to speak in a tone that relieved the boy, giving him hope that he was not going to die today, "At ease my boy. Despite what has happened, the news that you have brought me is quite exciting news, as it has given me inspiration to start a new project, and I have to commend you for that. Bravo!"

Hearing that things actually turned out well, the messenger swelled with relief, and turned his neck to the side to thank the surprisingly merciful Sannin, "T-Thank you, Orochimaru-Sa-" His thanks were cut short as his head was then slammed into the ground repeatedly with no signs of stopping anytime soon. After about three minutes of good old-fashioned forced floor kissing, Orochimaru ceased with his sudden violent display and looked up at the remaining boys, ignoring the blood soaked floor and his bloody hands, "Such a nice kid. Unfortunately for him, his mistake was urinating in my room causing me to lose control of my temper and wake our precious Naruto-kun up. It was the more responsible choice to kill him now, for I can not tolerate the weak shinobi in my ranks that can not stand strong in the face of danger. Nor shinobi that put Naruto-kun at a risk without my permission."

Nobody dared to inform him that the now deceased young man urinated _after_ Orochimaru blasted him with enough killing intent to stop an elephants heart. They were too scared and liked living too much to recklessly endanger themselves.

Rising up off of the floor that was rapidly getting a new paint job, Orochimaru looked over at Kabuto, "Come my boy, it is time to get to work. I smell potential, and I _will_ capitalize on this or die trying."

Kabuto approached the baby, picked him up and followed the sadistic Sannin out of the doorway, actually catching some of his contagious excitement. Kimimaro followed suit, not wanting to be left alone with the faceless corpse.

Knowing where his master's plans were heading, young Kabuto actually cracked a slight smile. It seemed that the tip they received paid off, and they were set to reap the rewards.

It was not everyday when you realize that you can create the perfect jinchuuriki host with the ultimate taijutsu kekkei genkai, after all.

 **And there goes my first chapter of my first fanfiction. The plans I have for this story sound good on paper, I just hope I can make it sound good to you all.**

 **Read it, gimmie feedback. I need all of the constructive criticism and praise I can get to grow better, help me develop my writing style...**

 **...And also boost my ego to astronomical levels.**

 **Spread it to all your friends, help me get exposure too lol. I'm done, expect another chapter or two soon you guys, I'm out.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: You already know I don't own Naruto, that's why I'm here.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 2: Mistakes shall be made**

(7 Years Later)

A beautiful melody filled the air throughout the base, originating from a young girl's flute. Sitting in a cross legged position on the floor in her room, the red haired musician continued to play, enjoying the calm, mellow atmosphere that she was creating. She really deserved this relaxation period due to the chaos she constantly had to deal with.

"Psssst. Tayuya. Wanna help me murder Naruto?"

And the tranquility has packed it's bags and left the building.

Looking behind her at the door where the voice originated from, she spied the source of the voice to be one of her team members, "Why would I want to do that Kidomaru? The little shit hasn't done anything to me in a while." She then took notice of the whipped cream present on the six armed boy's face, before coming to the conclusion that he was yet again a victim of the runt's habitual pranking sprees.

Trying, yet failing miserably in her endeavors to not laugh at her ally's misfortune, she looked at the brown skinned fellow's outfit, noticing that in addition to his face, his clothes were also targeted. Having orange words that read "I suck ass" covering his sleeveless brown tunic, the victim was clearly not in a good mood.

"You want to help me, I know you do. I can't nab him by myself, since Kimimaro is always trying to be his bodyguard and because of his inhuman speed. Those two freaks of nature need to be brought down a peg, especially the smaller one. Look at me, for crying out loud!" He then proceeded to highlight all of the areas the little devil was successful in targeting.

This was ridiculous, how did that little fucker even get a hold of orange paint in the first place? It wasn't like the base that they were in contained large amounts of vibrant colors, seeing as the aesthetic for anyone living there consisted of shades of brown, grey, or purple. It was highly unlikely that he went out and got it, considering the fact that Orochimaru never let him leave the base. At all.

Magically appearing paint aside, one thing was clear.

He wanted that maniac's head on a pike as compensation for this latest stunt.

Still snickering, Tayuya spoke up in between giggles, "Before I decide to act, there is one question that needs to be answered."

"I know your question already, I still lose sleep over wondering where all the orange paint comes from too. I swear, it has to be Orochimaru playing favorites, it's the only logical explanation."

Tayuya deadpanned at him, before asking the million dollar question, "No dumbass, that's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking is how did he manage to have enough time to write that all over your clothes and cover your face in whipped cream? I know you guys are all pretty fucking dumb, but not that dumb to let a seven year old go to town on your threads." The questioned party had the decency to clam up, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly while mumbling under his breath.

"Speak up dumbass, I didn't catch that."

Face becoming flustered, he decided to change the subject, "Never mind, it's not that important anymore. You do realize what today is though, right?" Smooth topic change, man.

No need to lose anymore face with the only female member of the team.

Searching through the canals of her memory, Tayuya recognized what he was referring to. The event that would determine where they all stood in the pecking order under Orochimaru...

Shit, that wasn't good news.

Mainly due to the fact that the two most dangerous people in the base that weren't Orochimaru were also participating today. Kidomaru was already a victim without being harmed, now he and the rest of them had to deal with the tall task of combating the two monsters known as Naruto and Kimimaro. Despite being seven years old and just a tad bit smaller than Tayuya herself, Naruto was arguably the strongest person that frequents the base on a daily basis.

She wasn't even going to count Kimimaro, Kabuto, or Orochimaru. Those three were the people she tried to avoid fighting, disrespecting, or pissing off at all times due to various reasons.

Kimimaro, despite being a quiet, shy type, had a nasty temper with the power to back it up, and wasn't afraid to try to murder anyone that irritated him, unless Orochimaru or Naruto talked him out of it.

Kabuto was the head doctor whenever he was around, so pissing off the sadistic medic that you had to report to whenever you were injured was not a good idea for anybody.

Orochimaru... S ranked ninja.

Nuff said.

"Shit, why does that have to be today?! All I wanted to do was to train, eat, and sleep, not fight for my life! Fuck!" The nine year old potty mouth exclaimed, flailing around dramatically. If the fact that they were probably being sent to the slaughter today wasn't on the forefront of his mind, Kidomaru would've probably laughed at her cute dramatics. Hell, he probably would've joined her in complaining if the voice from behind him send a chill down his spine before making him see red.

"Hi guys, are you ready to have fun today?"

Kidomaru turned around immediately, hands quickly shooting through the air to deprive a child of oxygen that was no longer standing there. After several seconds of searching the hallway for the source of his misery of the morning, Kidomaru then rotated back to the doorway, instantly spotting his grinning target. With a downright dastardly smile, the spider like shinobi in training covered the distance in between them in his attempt to murder the boy. Shooting past Tayuya, he honed in on his target, determined to see the little Shit in pain for what he did to him. He could see the future right now. He could see that asshole lying on the ground, rolling around in agony...

What he should've seen coming was the black boot that deposited itself into his unsuspecting mouth. The kick stopped the offender dead in his tracks, his head cocking back with an audible crack.

"Good morning to you too Kidomaru, how's it hanging?"

Damn it, he hated that kid as much as Tayuya loved swearing. It was basically second nature to despise him with every fiber of his being.

Watching his attacker drop to the floor clutching his face, Naruto Uzumaki continued to rock his shit eating grin while lowering his leg. Walking over to who he thought was his best friend in the whole world, Naruto stopped before him, crouching down to check on his pal, "You gotta get better at finding me Kidomaru, I got so bored of hiding that I decided to come find you and destroy you instead! That wasn't a part of the plan. Oh well. That was a pretty fun game of hide and destroy, don't you think?"

"I HATE YOU! WHY DO YOU THINK THAT WE'RE FRIENDS? MY ASPIRATIONS IN LIFE INCLUDE BEATING YOUR HEAD IN UNTIL THE WHITE MEAT SHOWS!"

"Aww that sounds fun! We definitely have to try that next game! Tayuya-chan, wanna play with us?"

"DON'T TAYUYA, HE'S A FUCKING DEMON IN HUMAN SKIN! HE DOESN'T KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG! HE WILL PROBABLY SCAR YOU FOR LIFE!"

"I wouldn't hurt Tayuya-chan the way I hurt you buddy, she doesn't deserve that."

"WHY DO I DESERVE IT?"

"Simple, I just like hurting you. Its always funny to see you get like this when you're in pain."

A sadistic seven year old that relishes in other people's pain and suffering that he caused?

If there was any doubt that Orochimaru wasn't a good influence on the youth before, it should be dead and buried deep within the ground now.

Ignoring the boy with the ponytail still clutching his face while screaming at the top of his lungs, Tayuya turned her attention to Naruto, who got out of his crouching position and turned to face her, grinning expression still in play.

"As funny as I find it to watch him squirm around in pain, I wan-"

"AWW SHIT, YOU TOO TAYUYA?! WHY IS EVERYONE ENJOYING MY PAIN?!"

Naruto silenced the miserable boy with a precise kick to the head, effectively rendering him unconscious.

"You were saying?"

"How is the plan for today supposed to go down? You should know, since you're Orochimaru's little favorite." It was obvious that Naruto was the golden egg in Orochimaru's eyes, due to the fact that ever since Naruto underwent the experiment and learned how to walk, Orochimaru declared that anyone who attempts to harm him would have to answer to him.

This of course caused everyone to avoid Naruto like he was the human plague, which led to his tendencies to harass any and everybody just to have some interaction with people besides Orochimaru and Kimimaro.

Kidomaru had to blame Orochimaru for his misery. If only that decree wasn't in place, he probably wouldn't be the target of the demonspawn.

Naruto tilted his head at the assumption that he knew how things worked around here simply because of his importance to the Sannin. Finding it funny, he decided to inform the red head of how wrong she was, "C'mon now, you really think I know how things are gonna go today? Why would I know, I mean look at me! I'm only seven years old, how would that make him look with a seven year old knowing how all of his plans are gonna turn out?"

Shit, he had a point.

"Me personally, I'd just be prepared for anything. You know how twisted that evil man could be."

Tayuya noticed the underlying animosity in his voice when he mentioned Orochimaru, which surprised her greatly. She figured he'd be the first one to hold him in the highest regard possible, however that seemed to be the opposite.

"Where'd that hostility in your voice come from? Shouldn't you be practically praising the ground that he walks on since he raised you from birth?" Tayuya asked, clearly curious about this sudden development.

Naruto stiffened up at the question, showing visible discomfort now that the topic of conversation changed. He lost his previous smile, opting to change it to a pronounced frown. Tayuya knew that initial views on the boy's relationship with the Sannin that the general public shared were not as they seemed.

"Me and Orochimaru... let's just say we aren't as close or on good terms as everyone thinks. He's not my idol or savior, if that's what you're thinking." He clarified, recalling all of his previous interactions with the snake that shaped his views on the man.

Especially the earliest one that brought Naruto to the conclusion that he would leave at a moments notice, provided he got the chance to.

X.X.X.

(Flashback, 3 Years Ago)

 _Orochimaru was a happy man as of late. It seemed like everything was going perfectly fine for him, which made it impossible for anyone to dampen his mood. Well, except for those brain dead idiots among his forces._

 _All of those however were dealt with as soon as they presented themselves in order to prevent their highly contagious diseases known as various forms of stupid from spreading._

 _The reason why he was happy was standing right in front of him. Wearing a black pair of slightly loose pants as his only article of clothing, Naruto gazed up at the man that he viewed as his father figure. If anybody were to walk in the massive, purple colored room, one would ask why a grown man was standing beside a bespectacled teenager, both eyeballing the shirtless blond with obvious glee in their eyes._

 _It was safe to say that Naruto had a questionable childhood under Orochimaru._

 _Turning to his side, Orochimaru began to ask the lad a series of questions pertaining to the smallest one in the room, "Alright Kabuto-kun, how is our friend here adjusting to his kekkei genkai? Are there any complications or problems that need my attention?"_

 _"Based on my last tests involving Naruto, I noticed that there are no problems whatsoever. His vitals are healthy, all organs are functioning properly, plus his immune system seems to be extremely strong. I'd hazard a guess to say that it may be impossible for him to become ill with any disease. He also shows a high resistance to any forms of poisons."_

 _He should know, he's been poisoning the child ever since he was able to walk in an attempt to test his healing factor. Thankfully, any poison that found its way into his system found itself immediately destroyed within a time span of thirty seconds to an hour._

 _"However, there are several things I find of the highest importance to inform you of, if you would like to know."_

 _"Of course I would like to know, proceed."_

 _"As you wish. It has been brought to my attention that his two separate healing factors we've expected him to have combined together and vastly surpassed our expectations. After an unfortunate accident one day, I noticed that his wounds rapidly mend themselves. His left shoulder was dislocated, until that fixed itself as well." The more and more he heard, the more twisted happiness radiated throughout the chamber._

 _"Also, it seems that his Uzumaki heritage and jinchuuriki status also boosts his kekkei genkai abilities immensely. Comparing the two, I noticed that Kimimaro's bones are produced faster than Naruto's, yet Naruto's seem to be of higher quality as of late. Durability tests provide evidence that Naruto's are naturally harder than Kimimaro's while also having a subtle amount of biju chakra circulating through them."_

 _"This is absolutely fantastic! Kukukuku, he's already shaping up to be a prime vessel for me. Kabuto-kun, I'd like to run a test at the moment in order to witness your evidence firsthand." He then walked forward towards Naruto, shedding his abnormal aura in favor of a more fatherly aura._

 _Well, as fatherly as Orochimaru could get._

 _Lowering himself to a knee, Orochimaru looked at his kidnapped- I mean adopted son, reaching a hand out to him, "Naruto-kun, would you be a dear for me and allow me to see your arm?" He flashed a warm, charismatic smile at the boy, setting him at ease and allowing him to trust the snake._

 _His first mistake in life was already made._

 _Never trust a snake, especially one that licks his lips every time he looks at you._

 _Going along with the man's request, Naruto flashed a smile of his own, full of admiration for the person in front of him that he perceived to be a father figure, before raising his arm and allowing Orochimaru to grasp it._

 _Snap. Crunch. Cue blood curdling scream._

 _Kabuto recoiled at the actions of his master, as he watched the man break the poor child's arm in two different places, casting an indifferent gaze at the boy's screams of anguish. He could honestly say that while he expected some kind of twisted test, this was not what he was expecting at all._

 _Seemingly finished with his actions, Orochimaru stood back up to full height, listening to the wails of pain that came from the boy._

 _Naruto looked up at the Sannin in fear, holding his broken limb before backing up slowly. Not wanting to stick around in case of anymore potential harm befalling him, he turned around and attempted to leap away._

 _Too bad the snake grabbed his ankle before his escape could completely commence._

 _With disturbing ease, Orochimaru slammed the crippled child into the floor hard enough to form a crater. Letting go of his ankle, which he also snapped mid slam to prevent running, he leapt into the crater as well, flashing a cruel smirk at the boy. He leaned down to Naruto's face, "Don't take this personal my boy, I simply wanted to test how durable your body is at the moment. Your health is a very important topic to me."_

 _Anyone in their right mind would call bullshit after that shocking display of child abuse. Even Kabuto did._

 _As he leapt out of the crater, satisfied at the fact that the boy remained conscious throughout his test, he failed to notice Naruto's facial expression change from a fearful one to one of betrayal and anger. Feeling his bones fix themselves, he arrived at the conclusion that the Sannin was not to be trusted under no circumstances. He also instinctively knew that at the first chance he got to leave, he'd take it with no hesitation._

X.X.X.

(End Flashback)

Tayuya winced. Hearing about how brutal Orochimaru was to Naruto at a young age made her feel physically sick.

You'd think he'd be more gentle when dealing with his prized possession.

Naruto took note of her reaction, and nodded, "Yeah, he's an asshole of the highest degree. But enough about my past, let's get ready for this test we gotta deal with today."

Tayuya nodded in agreeance, and kept the new information she learned today in the back of her mind.

If he could treat Naruto like that, and he liked him the most, who knows how much worse his treatment of everyone else could be?

X.X.X.

(Three Months Later, Somewhere in Hi no Kuni)

"Why do I have to be in the front of the formation again? I'm a long range specialist!"

"Because we all know that you'd probably try to kill Naruto if his back is turned to you."

"... No I wouldn't."

"I'm pretty sure Kidomaru wouldn't try to kill me you guys, he's like an older brother to me. He loves me and would never try to kill me, right pal?"

Kidomaru spoke through gritted teeth, "R-Right you are, Naruto. Haha, there's no way I could ever think of trying to put several arrows through your brain at all."

His strained tone wasn't fooling anybody present.

The Sound Five, well six if you counted Naruto, leapt through the canopy of the oversized trees found in the Land of Fire, moving stealthily and together as a cohesive unit. After the test three months ago, which turned out to be a giant death match to determine who had the drive to survive, Orochimaru placed all of them together as one group. Shortly after, he gave them all curse marks, with the exception of Naruto, as a reward for their performance. The three months that followed that event saw them finally being sent outside of their base on various missions, ranging from simple gatherings of resources the Sannin needed, to combat heavy hostile takeovers of neighbouring bandit camps and towns. Today however, marked their first excursion outside of Oto no Kuni. Orochimaru sent them to the border of Hi no Kuni in search of random shinobi that held potential. Their prerogative was to capture the shinobi alive, and transport them back to the base in order to increase the number of test subjects that Orochimaru would own.

The whole group was greatly relieved to be away from the snake, with the exception of Kimimaro. The others in the group, namely Kidomaru, Tayuya, and Naruto, were the most vocal in expressing their happiness, while the androgynous Sakon and burly Jirobo chose to silently express their excitement.

Leading the formation, Kidomaru brought everyone to a stop once they reached a settlement about thirty meters in front of them. They all landed on a branch to survey the area, taking note of all the visible bodies moving around.

Sakon looked down at the makeshift camp while flicking his silver hair out of the way, eyes showcasing his boredom with the stop already, "Tell me why we stopped again? We're looking for shinobi, not bandit camps."

Kidomaru prepared to speak up, but Jirobo beat him to the punch, "It isn't uncommon for a rouge shinobi to be in charge of a bandit camp, we might as well give it a look." Kimimaro and Naruto nodded in agreement, while formulating a plan to take the camp by surprise.

"Tayuya will play a melody from up here in order to place them all in a genjutsu. While they are under the genjutsu, Naruto, Kimimaro, and Sakon and I will corral them all into a specific area so that Jirobo can capture them in his Doton Kekkai: Dorō Dōmu (Earth Release Barrier: Earth Prison of Magnificent Nothingness)." Kimimaro stated his plan, a plan that everybody readily accepted. Although it was accepted, Naruto still had a question, "If our mission is to find shinobi, how will we find out who's a ninja if they're all trapped in the dome?"

Jirobo looked down at Naruto and smiled politely while answering his question, "We can determine if there are any ninja within the dome by paying attention to who has the highest level of chakra."

Ahh, smart plan.

With the plan settled, everyone got in position to act out their plan. The bandit camp stood no chance against their coordinated assault. Too bad that they didn't notice the large mane of shaggy white hair in the distance belonging to a man that stared at Naruto the moment he caught a glimpse of that blond hair.

" _That can't be who I think it is... I'll have to stick around to make sure."_

X.X.X.

(An Hour Later, Nighttime)

Sitting on a branch recuperating, Kidomaru gazed up into the nighttime sky, observing the stars twinkle in the distance. Their plan went without a hitch, and their assumptions that a ninja would be present in the camp were proven correct. The chakra sucking dome kept the rouge from causing any problems.

It was a good day for him.

Landing down beside him, Kimimaro looked at the stars with his arachnid ally, before asking a question, "Kidomaru, where is Naruto? Nobody seems to know where he is."

Face shriveling up in disgust, Kidomaru scoffed at the inquiry before responding, "I have no idea. Maybe somebody finally killed the little bastard and took him, at least he's out of my ha-"

He then found himself pinned up against the trunk of the tree that they were on by the throat with the business end of an ivory sword composed of solid bone pressed against his abdomen. Shit.

"If you had a hand in his disappearance, I will strike you down where you stand, trash."

Visibly sweating bullets, Kidomaru tried to save his ass, "I seriously don't know! I haven't seen the runt since we captured the ninja! I swear! Move that sword before you accidentally stab me!"

It wouldn't be an accident.

"Damn it Kimimaro, you ruined the prank! I was gonna drop paint on his head!"

Well at least they knew that he wasn't missing.

Hanging from a higher branch above the potential homicide, Naruto looked down at the two while Tayuya sat beside him, playfully pouting at the interference with his plans. Tayuya laughed at the blond's misfortune, before laughing even harder once she got a load of the terrified visage of Kidomaru. Entertainment like this was the highlight of the day.

Seeing that Naruto was alive and well, Kimimaro relinquished his hold on the poor boy's throat, removing his organic sword as well.

Glad to finally be in charge of his breathing again, Kidomaru then turned a glare onto Kimimaro, before glaring with twice as much intensity at the reason why he almost died. Shaking his fist while frothing at the mouth from all of the built up rage, Kidomaru blasted Naruto with all of his killing intent before yelling at the top of his lungs, "I SWEAR TO KAMI, I WILL KILL YOU ONE DAY! YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED YOU PIECE OF SHIT! MARK MY WORDS AND HEAR ME CLEARLY, I HATE YOU NARUTOOOOO!"

Aww, that was his special way of expressing his care for Naruto. It made the jinchuuriki feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

The anger fueled screams were put on hold as a powerful presence made itself known to the group. A tall man landed on the branch in front of the group, staring directly at Naruto.

" _Blond hair, blue eyes, distinctive whisker marks. It's gotta be him."_

The newcomer spoke up, directly addressing the whisker marked lad, "Naruto, I know this is sudden and you don't know me, but you have to come with me. I'm under a mission to bring you with me to your real home should I ever see you, so please make this easy for me."

Kimimaro instantly hopped in front of the large man, bones already protruding out of his body at irregular angles, "State your name, trash, so that I may know who the fool is that has the mission to take Orochimaru-sama's prime vessel."

The man casted a sharp glare on the albino child with the dangerous kekkei genkai, " _Those bones sticking out of him, this boy must have the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) kekkei genkai... and it seems like he isn't willing to let Naruto go without a fight. I'd hate to smack all of these kids around, but Naruto is coming with me one way or another."_ The man thought to himself, before deciding to humor the bonehead with his name, "My boy, you are looking at the number one, sexy, manly, terrifying shinobi in the world! Armies bow and tremble before my battle prowess! Women swoon and offer themselves to me because of my manly charms! Introducing, the one and only, Jiriya of the Sannin!" He finished his overly dramatic introduction with a mighty spin, while dancing on top of a toad's head that nobody noticed until now.

What the hell, where did that toad come from?

And shit, this guy was a Sannin? Just like the overpowered bastard that they work for. Definitely not a good thing.

Naruto glanced at the theatrical man, spying a form of opportunity. If this guy was willing to take him from Orochimaru, then he might as well take a chance and go with him, even if he dressed funny.

Seriously, a red vest, green long sleeved shirt and pants and clunky geta sandals? That's just a weird combination. At least he had a cool horned headband on.

"Kimimaro, can I go with him?"

"No Naruto, Orochimaru has plans of greatness involving you in the future."

"But Orochimaru is a terrible person!"

"Watch your mouth."

"Shit, I agree."

"Same here."

Kimimaro glared at Tayuya and Kidomaru, making a mental note to beat some respect into those two in the future after he dealt with this. With no prior warning, he slipped a long sword of bone into his hand and leapt at the Sannin, intent on striking the down the fool who would dare to take something of Orochimaru.

Too bad that the skill level between the two, despite the dangerous kekkei genkai, was ridiculously far apart. With almost childish ease, Jiriya smacked the appendage to the side, before slamming a ball of chakra into the boy's stomach, sending him flying through the forest in the opposite direction, knocking down trees and all during his first class flight.

All of that happened before Kimimaro could even blink.

Watching who they perceived to be the strongest out of them all get disposed of in such a nonchalant manner, everyone on that tree immediately realized that this man was the real deal. Tayuya and Kidomaru were visibly sweating bullets in fear that this man was coming after them, while Naruto...

Well, he was a different story.

"Did you guys see that?! He made Kimimaro look like he sucked at fighting easily! If I come with you can you teach me that?"

Jiriya smirked at that, as he knew that the boy was down to leave the snake. He would've felt bad at hitting the albino with a Rasengan, but that kekkei genkai instantly informed Jiriya that he'd have to put that boy down a little harder than the other two kids he dealt with. He was pretty sure that he could take it anyway.

Kidomaru was frozen with fear, as the man standing before them was somebody that Kidomaru knew could dispose of him easily. Knowing that Tayuya shared the same sentiments, he interrogated the Sannin, "Where's our other two members?"

"The chubby one with the orange mohawk is inside of the stomach of a fire toad, the effeminate one is lying unconscious around here somewhere."

"How did you take them out without us noticing? We would've heard you."

"I'm a Sannin kid, and my title is not just for show."

Point made.

"Now Naruto, get off of the branch and come with me. I'll make you a deal, you can even bring the little cutie beside you with us if you come." Jiraiya looked up at the boy, waiting on his response.

To his surprise, Tayuya hopped down first directly in front of him. She looked up at the man hopefully, wanting nothing more than to leave Orochimaru's rule.

"I-I can really come with you? I won't have to deal with that fucking monster anymore?" Jiraiya noticed the tremble in her voice when she asked him, and gave her a charming smile.

"Yes, little lady. You can come with us. I promise you won't be treated the same way that you were treated with him." Who knows what sick shit that snake has done to these kids?

While Tayuya was beaming with joy at the fact that there was now an alternative to being under Orochimaru, she was unaware of the arrow with her name on it being notched up, and aimed at her. Kidomaru gritted his teeth as he attempted to strike down the traitor, already trembling at the fact that he was about to kill somebody that he felt close to.

" _Dammit Tayuya, why'd you have to do this?"_

He really shouldn't have aimed at her.

An ivory dagger with a jagged edge severed one of his arms off that held the bow at the elbow, causing massive amounts of bleeding while causing him to drop his bow. Following that, he immediately registered the sensation of more jagged daggers sliding into his body, mainly all of his joints. They pinned him against the trunk behind him, immobilizing him.

Tayuya and Jiraiya turned their attention behind them, noticing the crouched form of Naruto in front of his handiwork. He rose up from his position and turned around to face the two, smiling like he didn't just brutally render Kidomaru immobile in the most asshole way possible.

Jiraiya's eyes almost bugged out of his sockets, alarmed at the new information that he was witnessing. First thing he was doing once they got to Konoha was taking this boy straight to Hiruzen. He had to know about this.

"He was trying to kill you Tayuya-chan, luckily I stopped him. We can go now Jiraiya." With this said, he swan dived off of the branch, impressing the two with his smooth transition.

Fighting through the pain, Kidomaru managed to get out a couple of statements before Tayuya left, "You know he's gonna come after you two Tayuya, he's going to probably kill you. Don't leave me here to bleed out, please! Don't do this to me, man!"

Tayuya gazed upon the injured boy. Knowing that bleeding out was not a fun way to die, Tayuya prepared to go at least put the boy put of his misery before she was interrupted by yet another flying dagger making its way towards the guy's temple. It struck true, ringing out with a wet crunch sound, effectively rendering the boy dead.

Well, that took care of that.

"C'mon Tayuya, it's time to go to our new home! I can't wait to get there!"

...

"Where are we going again?"

X.X.X

 **And chapter 2 is finallly out. The background stuff will probably over within the next two chapters or so, I had to set things up before enabling the badassery and humor to commence.**

 **As you can see, characters, both good and bad, will die in my story, since having a rainbow filled sunshine fic where everybody lives doesn't seem realistic to me.**

 **Leave a review, let me know what you guys think. I'm keeping the pairings a secret as of now, since the focus of my story is primarily making Naruto a badass.**

 **Expect maybe two more chapters by the end of the week, I'm out.**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If you don't get that I don't own Naruto by now, then you just ain't getting it.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 3: I Am My Brother's Keeper**

 **X.X.X**

(4 Years Later, Konoha Academy)

Iruka Umino stood in front of the classroom, observing all of the children that he taught for the past three years socialize. Doing his best to ignore the dangerous screeching of the Sasuke fan club, he scanned the room to take note of all the clan kids.

Sasuke Uchiha himself sat right under the window on the far side of the room. His eyes were rapidly twitching as several of the resident stalkers- or "persistent observers" of his kept grabbing his blue high collared shirt, seemingly trying to rip the article of clothing right off his back.

Iruka wondered why that was happening.

"Grab his shirt!"

"I heard that he trains in that shirt, it's probably full of his sweaty essence!"

"I WANT HIS BABIES!"

"Where do babies come from?"

"No idea, but get the shirt and we'll find out later."

"Right!"

Iruka sweatdropped hard after hearing that. Not wanting to have a case of forced stripping in his classroom, Iruka did what he knew best, "The next person that grabs Sasuke's shirt, has to clean THE ENTIRE ACADEMY! YOU WILL NOT BE PERMITTED TO LEAVE UNTIL EVERY INCH IS SPOTLESS!" His words were enhanced by his head becoming bigger than his body mid sentence.

All fan girls immediately ceased with their shenanigans.

Although the fan girls were driven away due to the power of Iruka-sensei's infamous Big Head no Jutsu, Sasuke couldn't help but remain on edge. He knew that they were the least of his problems.

"Hey ladies, don't worry about Sasuke, I've got plenty of sweaty shirts! Even this one right here that I'm wearing right now is pretty soaked, who wants it?!" The resident dog whisperer, Kiba Inuzuka exclaimed. Standing out of his chair, he removed his puppy Akamaru from his head, before unzipping his grey coat. "Have this shirt ladies, it's on the house."

Iruka tried to stop him before it was too late, "Kiba don't!"

Too late.

Removing the only thing keeping everyone safe from his... unique stench, Kiba stood proudly as he struck a pose for the class, propping a leg up on the desk while flexing what little muscles he had.

Oh yeah, he was definitely a ladies man.

Not done yet, he turned around and threw his shirt at one of Sasuke's number one fans, the pink haired Saukura Haruno. He then watched her closely with a smile, expecting her to bask in the manly odors that he possessed.

As soon as the shirt touched her and she got a healthy whiff of its smell, she promptly threw up.

"Sweet Kami, it smells horrible in here!"

"Is this that chemical warfare stuff you were teaching us one day, Iruka-sensei?"

"Kiba, take a shower for Kami's sakes! You smell like hot dog shit and wet kibbles!"

Even Iruka couldn't stand the stench. He sought to rectify this situation, and did it swiftly. Grabbing the offender by his ear, he then dragged him out of the classroom, taking him down the halls and locking him in the showers.

"Don't you dare leave these showers without smelling decent."

With that matter resolved, he travelled back to the classroom, glad that he got rid of the foul stench before it could claim anymore victims. He made a mental note to check on Sakura later.

As he entered the classroom, he was showered with applause, throwing the scar faced man off greatly.

Iruka noticed the tense air surrounding the Uchiha, yet chose not to speak on it out loud and bring him more attention. Gazing over the rest of the class, he shifted his attention to Choji Akimichi, a portly young lad with red swirls tattooed on his cheeks enjoying his hourly bag of chips.

"Munch munch munch."

As long as he had a source of food, he didn't need anyone to worry about him.

Turning his gaze upwards towards the back of the class, he watched the stoic Shino Aburame stare at his finger. While a civilian would find it to be weird that the boy with the black, circular shades dressed in a high collared button down coat is staring intently at his finger, Iruka knew that the boy was probably speaking to one of his Kikaichu (Parasitic Destruction Insects). Curious at how focused he was, Iruka decided to ask him what was so interesting, "Shino? What are you doing?"

"Keeping tabs."

Cryptic as Hell. Good ol' Aburame responses.

Sitting beside the Aburame was Hinata Hyuga, giggling at her teacher's exasperated reaction to her friend's answer. Her white eyes shined with mirth as she giggled and played with the zipper on her cream colored jacket. After her giggle fit died down, she looked around the classroom in search of a certain person. Realizing that the person wasn't present, she raised her hand to inquire about the whereabouts of said missing person, "Umm, Iruka-sensei, wh-where's Naruto?"

Nobody in the room noticed Sasuke tense up, eyes darting about with a fearful gleam shining through.

Everyone else in the classroom stopped what they were doing just to look around in search of the missing blond. A blond girl sitting within the immediate vicinity of Sasuke answered that question, "Who knows, he's always off doing something stupid. At least he isn't here harassing everyone, he probably won't even sh-"

Her statement was interrupted by the last person anybody ever expected to jump out of their seats. Holding her by the shoulders, Sasuke glared into her eyes. Visibly shaking, Sasuke pressed a firm finger to her lips, effectively silencing her, "Ino, don't ever say that he won't do anything. He has this tendency to prove you wrong just to piss you off. You'll doom us all!"

Everyone, Iruka too, were absolutely gobsmacked by this uncharacteristic display. Sasuke was known for being a broody asshole, preferring to keep to himself. He was also known for never voluntarily interacting with any of his fangirls unless it was absolutely necessary.

A boy with his hair in a ponytail, giving him a pineapple styled haircut, removed his head from the desk that he was napping on. Turning around to witness this spectacle, he stared at the Uchiha like he grew two heads, "Sasuke, are you alright in the head?"

Not letting Ino go until his point was proven, Sasuke craned his head behind him to glare at Shikamaru. He had to inform them all of the horror that will befall them if they kept tempting fate, "I'm perfectly fine in the head,"

The Uchiha Massacre and Tsukyomi begged to differ.

"But that menace is not. Trust me, he's a real psycho."

Sasuke was speaking from experience. Ever since the first time meeting the jinchuuriki, his life has been flipped upside down.

X.X.X.

(Flashback, 2 Years Ago)

 _Hiruzen Sarutobi was walking through his village, basking in the sun. Walking alongside him was a young Sasuke Uchiha. Hiruzen felt that it was necessary to escort the boy home, due to his recent trauma. Two nights ago, his clan was eliminated by his older brother Itachi Uchiha, who also placed him under one of the most potent genjutsu known to man, Tsukyomi. He was kept in the psychological ward of the village after the events until they gave the ok to let him return home._

 _The Kage glanced down at the boy to check on him, noticing the rage and loneliness present within his gaze. Hiruzen sighed before placing a comforting hand on the child's shoulder, speaking up to reassure him, "There there, Sasuke. I know that you are currently going through a hardship that no child should have to endure. However, I know that you are a strong young man who will grow into a man of greatness. You'll get through this my boy, I promise."_

 _Not getting a response, the Sarutobi decided to just complete the rest of the trip in silence, taking note of the figure that was following the two from the rooftops. After about fifteen minutes of a relaxed walk, the duo finally arrived at their destination, the Uchiha clan compound. Hiruzen subtly cringed at the entrance, feeling the air of despair that befell Sasuke as soon as they arrived. This was not going to be easy for the boy._

 _"Sasuke-kun."_

 _"Hn."_

 _"If you ever need anything, just come see me. I'll always be there to help you."_

 _"Okay. Thank you Hokage-sama."_

 _With that said, Sasuke entered the compound, leaving Hiruzen at the entrance. As Sasuke walked down the main road towards his home, he was hit by unwelcome memories._

 _"Why, why nii-san?! Why did you kill our family? Tou-san, Kaa-san, they're all dead!" Sasuke screamed at the murderer that was his brother, tears flowing freely down his face. The room they were standing in was drenched in blood, while the air was filled with the stench of death._

 _Itachi Uchiha stood before the crying boy, a look of pure apathy etched onto his face._

 _You had to be a complete stoic dickhead of the highest degree in order to murder your family and stand calmly like nothing happened._

 _"I did it simply to test my power, Sasuke. I want you to grow from this, take all of that sadness and anger that you're currently feeling, and let it fuel you. Use that to motivate you to get stronger, so that you may be able to face me and avenge our family."_

 _Those words kept flowing through his mind, distracting him from noticing the blond kid walking side by side with him._

 _As Sasuke reached his doorstep and slid the key into the lock, he finally registered the presence standing beside him. He jumped back in case of an attack, while taking in the intruder's appearance._

 _The blond had blue eyes that exuded curiosity and mischief, whisker marks resting on his cheeks, and a smile that held some kind of unknown intent behind it._

 _He wore a black short sleeved button down with orange trim, black cargo pants that seemed to be made out of a rather tough material, and black steel toe boots to complete the look._

 _Despite his unwanted appearance, Sasuke had to admit that the strange boy looked pretty good in dark colors._

 _"Why are you here, do you not know that this is private property?"_

 _Naruto simply continued to smile, tilting his head while answering the question, "I'm a ninja in training. I'm pretty sure that I'll be breaking into private property in the future, might as well get a head start now."_

 _Sound logic aside, Sasuke didn't want anyone intruding in his compound as of now, "Leave. Now."_

 _"You can't make me leave." Naruto responded._

 _"Tch. Whatever. I'm going to go inside my house. You can stay outside if you want, but coming inside is not something you want to do." Feeling that he made his stance about being left alone clear, Sasuke entered his home, no longer paying any mind to the annoyance outside._

 _Walking into the kitchen in search of some food, Sasuke approached the refrigerator. He opened the door and leaned forward to examine the contents within. Spying a tomato, he proceeded to pick up the fruit and take it to the sink to wash it off, before biting into it._

 _"Got another one in there?"_

 _Are you serious? How did he even get in here? Sasuke made sure to lock the door behind him._

 _Wheeling around in shock, Sasuke found the boy standing directly in front of his refrigerator before beginning to open the door. Stopping the miscreant from opening the door, Sasuke leveled a glare onto boy, speaking through clenched teeth, "I thought I told you not to come inside."_

 _"You didn't actually state that I couldn't come in, you just said that it's something I wouldn't want to do. Too bad for you that I wanted to do it."_

 _"Leave me alone, I don't want to be bothered. Get out of my house before I force you out."_

 _"Why do you want me to leave so soon, you didn't even ask for my name yet."_

 _"I don't care about your name, I want you out!"_

 _"My name's Naruto, nice to meet you Sasuke. I have a feeling we're gonna be close friends sooner or later."_

 _"How the hell do you even know my name?"_

 _"Heard jiji say it. Plus all the girls our age constantly talk about you like you're the best thing on earth since sliced bread. They're always describing how you look, so I just matched your appearance with the name."_

 _"Jiji... you mean Hokage-sama?" This kid calls the Hokage that? Does he not know who he is?_

 _"Yeah, the old man. Me and him are pretty close, so he lets me get away with calling him that."_

 _"Well if you're so close to him, why not bother him instead?"_

 _"He's been occupied these past few days with you, so I decided to check on the source of him being extra busy. Now then, I just wanted to drop in, introduce myself as your new friend so you don't get lonely around here, and maybe spar with you, if you're up for it that is."_

 _Sparring? As in a chance to vent some of his anger out on his current source of annoyance?_

 _Sign him right up._

 _"I'm an Uchiha, are you sure you want to fight me? I'm probably the best academy student in Konoha as of now." Sasuke informed him, not knowing the definition of humble._

 _Hearing this, Naruto shrugged his shoulders before flashing a competitive smile, "And I've been trained by an S ranked missing nin. Now that we're done bullshitting, how about that fight?"_

 _Him being the top dog at the academy bullshit? Now this blond kid had to learn the hard way not to mess with him. And what was with that obvious lie about being trained by an S Ranked ninja?_

 _Embracing the growing combative feeling in the air, Sasuke flashed Naruto the first grin that anyone has witnessed since before the massacre, "Follow me to your future beating." He then left the house with Naruto in tow._

 _Walking through the compound side by side, the two boys paced along in silence, both deep within their own thoughts and prepping themselves for the upcoming showdown._

 _"Maybe if I beat this weirdo, he'll leave me alone. Nobody gets beat down and likes it."_

 _Boy, did Sasuke have a lot to learn when he got older._

 _"Should I use my kekkei genkai on him? Nah, all I wanna do is strike the fear of Kami into him, not permanently cripple him. Remember Naruto, don't cripple your new friend. No crippling."_

 _After a two minute walk, the two finally arrived at a training ground located within the compound. They each reported to opposite sides of the field, glaring at each other with unrestrained eagerness. After staring and grinning for a good minute while sizing each other up, Sasuke decided to engage in some pre battle banter, "Hey Naruto, how about a "friendly" wager?"_

 _He felt physically sick at the thought of the two being friends, the kid was just too annoying for Sasuke's tastes._

 _"Wager, you say? I'm listening."_

 _"Alright. First to put the other on their back for ten seconds wins. If I win, you have to... let me think. Leave the village?"_

 _"No can do Sasuke, I can't leave you during this time in your life. I have plans of greatness involving you in the future."_

 _Damn it, it was worth a shot. And that plan he spoke of gave Sasuke an uneasy feeling, especially since the blond started to rub his hands while smiling in a sinister manner._

 _And why did he keep speaking like he knew what he knew what the Uchiha was going through at the moment? That was starting to get irritating._

 _"How about this? If I win, you cannot come within ten feet of me unless absolutely necessary."_

 _"I can dig that. If I win, be prepared to be my best friend and be subjected to various mischief and hijinks for the rest of your life. Deal?"_

 _Feeling confident in his chances, Sasuke stupidly accepted the terms, not knowing what Hell he unleashed upon himself that day._

 _(An Hour Later)_

 _Sasuke tried his hardest not to break character and cry out in frustration. During their spar, Sasuke quickly realized that Naruto was not your average academy student. His reflexes were absolutely absurd, seeming to be able to react to anything he threw at him, no matter how vicious his attack combinations were. The blond was disturbingly flexible, always managing to find a way to dodge whenever Sasuke had a clear shot on him in the most uncomfortable looking way possible. His speed was another thing entirely._

 _Sasuke thought he was fast, but he begrudgingly had to admit that Naruto outclassed him in this department._

 _The most frustrating thing however, was Naruto's refusal to trade blows with him. Opting to instead dodge and tap the attacking limb at the joints every time Sasuke went on the offensive, Naruto utilized a peculiar form dodging. He was already a weird kid before the fight, but after seeing his fighting style up close and personal, Sasuke came to the conclusion that the blond was a walking ball of unpredictable chaos._

 _He never met anyone who leans into blows, dodges them at the very last second, taps the joints, and pretends to be a snake by wrapping the corresponding limb around the offending limb, even hissing and flicking his tongue to complete the serpent motif._

 _He was one hundred percent sure that the idiot was doing that purely for the sole purpose of pissing him off._

 _It was working too._

 _This is what Sasuke had to deal with for the past hour, and it pissed him off to no end. He hasn't gotten the chance to land one single blow on the boy, who was grinning like a madman the whole time._

 _Panting heavily while wiping sweat off of his forehead, Sasuke glared at his opponent and growled, "What's with your whacked out fighting style? Are you even trying to win this fight?"_

 _"Maybe, maybe not."_

 _"Stop playing games and wasting my time, fight me!"_

 _"Are you sure you want that?"_

 _"Why the Hell would we be doing this if I didn't want a fight?"_

 _"Hmm. Say pretty please Uzumaki-sama, I want to have a concussion."_

 _The fuck is wrong with him? Like how does he find time to be this infuriating?_

 _Tired of the bantering between the two, Sasuke charged the boy with the intent to end this. Leading with his left hand, he threw several powerful strikes towards the boy, aiming to erase his face from this plane of existence. Each strike, as before, was dodged at the last second like before, with all of the joints in his arm being tapped, grabbed, or smacked as a counter._

 _Still grinning with mischief in play, Naruto decided that enough was enough. He backed off for a bit to determine how he was gonna put Sasuke down in the cruelest, yet humbling way possible. He looked at several different areas on his target's body, mentally trying to pick one to go for._

 _Head? A good ol' fashioned meaty blow to the head always does the trick. He'd put that one on the backburner in case he couldn't find a better area to maim._

 _Chest? Nothing like having the wind knocked out of you._

 _Stomach? Maybe he could hit him in that certain spot just so he can make him throw up. Then he could double the humiliation by cracking his skull open one good time._

 _His balls?_

 _... Nah, Naruto was an asshole, but that would just be uncalled for. That's too much pain for one boy to endure._

 _After cycling through several different options, Naruto just shrugged his shoulders, "Fuck it."_

 _One second Sasuke was still in his stance, slightly winded yet still prepared to try to kill the pest. The next second his vision was full with the afternoon sky, with him now being forced to lay on the ground. Attempting to get up and repay the blond back, his intentions were halted as a mighty boot stomped down directly on his chest, barely managing to not break his bones._

 _"Gaaack!" Sasuke cried out, finding the lack of air he was receiving to be quite unpleasant. He sought to remove the offending limb, and quickly used the opportunity presented. Gathering a tremendous amount of force, he drove his fist directly into the side of Naruto's knee, effectively caving it in._

 _A loud crack rang out through the area, sending a wave of relief through the young Uchiha, "Now that his knee his bent the wrong way, there's no way that he could fight back." Sasuke thought, unaware of the boy falling directly on top of him..._

 _Still smiling like a madman. Fist cocked back, he drove it directly into Sasuke's nose, breaking it instantly due to the force of the blow. Sasuke immediately blacked out from the punch, not prepared for the equivalent of two hammers being fired from a slingshot directing themselves to his nose._

 _Despite the fact that his knee was indeed bent the wrong way, Naruto couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't expecting his opponent to try to cripple him at all, which earned the unconscious boy points with the blond already. Having his damaged limb fix itself within the next couple of seconds, Naruto then got off of Sasuke before picking him up and slinging him over his shoulder, returning to Sasuke's house to celebrate their new friendship._

 _"Even if I lost I was still going to harass you Sasuke, there's nowhere for you to hide once I make you a target. Now that you've officially agreed to be my target, that makes things a whole lot easier. We're gonna have some good times together buddy, I just know it."_

 _On this day, Sasuke decided that he'd rather undergo the Tsukyomi mindfuck again instead of having to deal with the blond. He shouldn't have accepted those terms._

 _He dug his own grave, now he had to lay in it._

 _X.X.X._

(End Flashback)

Sasuke shivered thinking about that fateful day. From that point on, he had to deal with constant harassment from the jinchuuriki menace, ranging from various pranks to the blond actually booby trapping his entire clan compound and randomly attacking him.

His excuse was that Sasuke was good, for an academy student, but not good enough to stand on equal footing with a fully fledged shinobi. He told him to think of the constant pestering and surprise deathmatches as training, which would either get him killed or force him to get better.

Trying to call off the bet or telling Naruto to stop only doubled the amount of bullshit that he put Sasuke through.

He learned his lesson the hard way, and out of the kindness of his twisted little heart, he wanted to prevent the rest of his classmates from suffering the same fate.

Interrupting the moment of reflection, a loud scream sounded out, shortly before cries of bloody murder followed.

Shino looked towards the door, being informed that a large source of chakra was standing behind it. One of his Kikaichu landed on his nose, relaying a message that only he could understand. He spoke up to inform the class about the sudden developments, "Iruka-sensei, I'd recommend that you send Kiba home early today. Why, you ask? Because Naruto somehow managed to sneak up on him while he was attempting to rid himself of those offensive odors, before dropping two gallons of cat urine on him. Now Kiba is on the warpath, and Naruto is outside of the class. In order to prevent an attempted homicide and save our senses of smell, it would be the logical course of action to remove Kiba from the school for the rest of the day."

Two knocks on the door brought everyone's attention back to the door.

Many of the students looked on with an uneasy expression on their faces, not entirely sure about letting the blond in. Ino stared at the door in fear until she was grabbed yet again by Sasuke, "Do you see what you've done, woman?! You've doomed us all!"

If she wasn't positively frightened at the sudden uncharacteristic display of fear from the Uchiha, she'd be relishing in the fact that her crush is grabbing her.

Iruka facepalmed. It was never a dull day at the academy, as there were always shenanigans happening.

X.X.X

(1 Month Later, Undisclosed location)

"Status report on the two children from Orochimaru."

Three figures were present inside of a pitch black room, with two of the figures kneeling in front of the third. Heads bowed in a submissive manner, one of the two spoke up in order to give the report, "As you wish Danzo-sama. The girl seems to be doing just fine in Konoha. She shows no signs of potential treason that we need to be concerned about, and her skills in the academy are vastly ahead of the rest of her class."

"Is that so? Where would you place her in terms of skill level?"

"Easily high genin level if not low chunin."

"I see. And the jinchuuriki?"

"No signs of treason from him either. Although he has a strange obsession with antagonizing the clan heirs in his age group, specifically the Uchiha and as of late the Nara, there seems to be nothing to be concerned about pertaining to him."

"I knew of the Uchiha, but why the Nara?

"We overheard him say that the Nara has too much potential to be and I quote, 'A lazy ass sloth', so he's taken upon the liberty to motivate the Nara."

"How does he do that?"

"He employs similar tactics seen when he deals with the Uchiha, which include random sneak attacks while the Nara is relaxing, sabotaging his clan compound, and even employing a Henge technique to transform into the boy's mother, before subjecting him to training."

Danzo nodded at this news, silently admitting that the boy knew how to get people to do things.

He chalked it up to Orochimaru teaching him how to manipulate others in order to get results.

"Based on any characteristics that you have observed, what would you say his skill level is?"

"Due to his uncanny ability to repeatedly booby trap clan compounds without being apprehended, stalk his targets, and constantly avoid taking blows in his daily altercations, I would have to place the boy in the range of mid-chunin as of now. His skills in the stealth aspect of shinobi life are exceptional for his age. His speed is also something to take note of as well."

Danzo silently stewed over this information for several minutes, the silence in the air being welcomed. It didn't bother the two kneeled figures, seeing as how they were trained to be emotionless tools.

Uncomfortable silences didn't exist to them.

"That is all I require of you two now. Leave my presence and continue surveillance of the two, and alert me of any new developments."

"Yes Danzo-sama." The two responded in unison, before leaving the room without a trace.

Danzo sat in his chair, silently fuming over the fact that they were wasting potential. After hearing his subordinates state that the boy possessed skills that easily let him outclass any other academy student as of now, he couldn't help but wonder if the Sandaime was truly going senile in his old age because of his decision to place the boy in the academy instead of handing him over to him.

X.X.X

(Flashback, Four Years Ago)

 _Hiruzen Sarutobi sat at his desk in the Hokage tower, a frown evident on his face. Staring at a large stack of papers that he was required to fill out as part of his daily Kage duties, he was seriously considering lighting the whole desk on fire with an over powered fire jutsu._

 _He was getting too old for this shit, damn it._

 _A knock at the door provided a well timed distraction. "Who is it?"_

 _"Its me old man, guess who I managed to find?" A familiar voice sounded out from the other side of the doors. The statement froze Hiruzen in his tracks, causing him to drop his pen that he was currently writing with._

 _"Come in Jiraiya-kun, please don't tell me that you found who I think you're talking about..."_

 _"Now why would I do that? I thought it would be a good thing that I found Naruto." Jiraiya stated with a boisterous smile as he entered the room with Naruto and Tayuya in tow._

 _Tayuya was awestruck as she walked into the room, taking in every detail that she could. Since arriving in Konoha,she's been observing all of the different types of people in the village, comparing the individuality here to the individuality found in Orochimaru world. Needless to say, she was also overwhelmed by the fact that she met two other legendary ninjas within the span of twenty four hours._

 _Plus neither of them seemed to harbor any malicious thoughts or sick intents towards her, which made her more comfortable here than she's ever been in Orochimaru's care._

 _Things were already looking up for her._

 _Naruto on the other hand, walked into the room with a bit of trepidation. Due to Orochimaru and Kabuto's twisted methods of training him to be on edge at all times and expect the unexpected, Naruto was probably the most tense person in that room. Not knowing why they wanted him also served to further give the boy reason to be edgy. He scanned the room for all available exit points in case he needed to run while subtly nudging Tayuya to grasp her attention so she could know where to go._

 _Eyes drinking in every detail available within the chamber, Naruto stopped when he found what he believed to be the most important thing._

 _It wasn't the picture on the wall of the man who looked almost exactly like him either._

 _"Can I have your hat?"_

 _Naruto stared intensely at the headpiece present on the Hokage's head, as if he were trying to burn the person wearing it out of frame._

 _Hiruzen chuckled at the boy, "My boy, you have to earn this hat. I'm afraid it's not something you can just ask for."_

 _"How do I earn it, become Hokage or something?"_

 _Hiruzen nodded,"Precisely."_

 _Hearing this, Naruto took a moment of pause to think on this tall task that he was faced with. He finally looked back up after several seconds of thought, "Hey, do you know the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)?"_

 _Curious as to where he was going with this, Hiruzen nodded, "Yes Naruto-kun, why do you ask?"_

 _"Can you make like another clone really quick?"_

 _Not seeing any harm in indulging the boy, the Sandaime willed another solid copy of himself into existence. Now two Hokages were standing within the room, both looking at Naruto..._

 _Well, the spot that he was in._

 _The clone registered the feeling of someone behind him making a lunge for his head, and simply leaned to the side to avoid being blindsided. He looked at the party responsible, only to notice that Naruto held his hat in his hands as well. Holding the possession he just managed to take, he gazed upon it approvingly, before placing it upon his head._

 _He stood there with his arms folded, smiling brightly at his accomplishment. After thirty seconds of triumphant posing, he nodded his head in a sage like manner before removing the hat, "Now I don't want it anymore, thanks jiji."_

 _Everyone deadpanned at his sudden actions, not believing that he lost interest in the prestigious hat that fast._

 _Shaking himself of any surprise, Jiraiya decided to change the subject to a more serious tone. Namely, what they we're going to do now that the jinchuuriki was back where he truly belonged, "Old man, there's some things that we have to talk about. When I say things, I mean that things that could be considered S rank secrets."_

 _"S rank secrets, oh shit! Can me and Tayuya stay? I wanna hear all of the juicy details!" Naruto blurted out, already heading to the couch against the wall in order to get comfy for the upcoming conversation. Tayuya would have joined him, but she was the more level headed of the two. She didn't want to automatically assume that things were completely well and risk pissing off the two aged shinobi that could probably kill her on accident with some kind of overpowered sneeze. Therefore she stood as close to the door as possible without making it obvious that she was prepared to run at a moment's notice._

 _If only her cautious side rubbed off onto Naruto instead of her penchant for foul language, he probably would've been by her side, ready to haul ass the minute things went wrong._

 _Noticing the poor girl gearing herself up to run, Hiruzen sighed heavily, inadvertently causing her to further tense up. "Young lady, I assure you that no harm will befall you while you are in this office. I swear to you. Now, please take a seat beside Naruto-kun, so that we may begin." He then signaled for the hidden bodyguard detail within the room to leave._

 _Before he could begin flipping through hand seals to activate the jutsu that would prevent anyone from spying on their conversation, the door was opened, allowing a man with bandages wrapping around his face to enter the room, using a crutch to hold him up. The only squinted eye visible opened up slightly, as the man inspected the room in order to see who was present. His eye hovered over Naruto the for the longest, "Hiruzen, why was I not properly informed of the boy's arrival?"_

 _The Sandaime inwardly groaned, as Danzo's appearance just ensured that things would not go as smoothly as planned._

 _"How would I be able to inform you of his arrival if I didn't have knowledge of him coming either, old friend? And besides, it's not like you wouldn't have went long before you were informed by your various sources of the boy's arrival." Subtle jabs letting on that he knows something that he shouldn't?_

 _The game of politics has begun._

 _Not wanting to lose face, Danzo resolved to switch the topic of conversation by utilizing one of the oldest tricks in the book. Namely, blame shifting. "Jiraiya, did you not see it impertinent enough to inform anyone of your or the boy's arrival? Surely a shinobi such as yourself would have the knowledge to send word ahead of time in order for us to be able to make the proper accommodations for the lad."_

 _This is why Jiraiya stayed out of the village, playing the game of tongues was not his strong suit in ninja life. He was more of the "hop onto the battlefield, kick ass, take names, and go get drunk in a bar with various promiscuous women to celebrate his glorious victory" type. Still, just because he didn't involve himself in politics often, that didn't mean that he didn't know how to maneuver himself in certain situations._

 _"I didn't send word ahead because I didn't want to endanger Naruto, or his friend Tayuya here. I had to take them from Orochimaru's other shinobi by force, and while I didn't kill them, I made sure to keep them occupied. I didn't know if there was backup in the area, so I just decided to get here as soon as possible."_

 _"You didn't kill the enemy shinobi? Your judgement seems to be getting impaired by your more, sinful habits."_

 _"They were all kids, Danzo. No older than ten. I'm not going to spill unnecessary blood. If I can complete a mission without killing children, then I will." Jiraiya stated, a look of seriousness present on his face. His killing intent was subtly rising in response to Danzo's attempts to undermine him, which caused two things to happen._

 _Hiruzen tried to reign his student in, wanting to avoid having the situation deteriorate into a physical altercation._

 _"Jiraiya." Hiruzen stated firmly, sending an non verbal message that Jiraiya caught wind of and heeded._

 _"Stand down." Was the unspoken command._

 _"Are you going to kick the crippled old man's ass? That's boring, he doesn't even look that strong. All you gotta do is probably cough on him and he'll fall straight to the ground, and into the arms of cardiac arrest." Naruto chimed in, complete with a show of acting out how he imagined the battle's outcome._

 _Danzo showed no outside reaction, choosing to mentally scoff before attempting to establish a pecking order within the room, "Still your tongue boy, you are in the presence of one the esteemed village elders, former teammate of the Sandaime, and senior advisor of the Hokage. You will respect me and my title."_

 _A blank face was given in response to Danzo's statement, before Naruto gave his true response, "I don't respect titles, anybody could have people go along with a title they created. I respect the person behind the title, and as of right now you are the only one in the room who has yet to show that you are worthy of any respect from me."_

 _He respected Tayuya because she was his first true friend, that stuff he used to say to Kidomaru before he killed him was just to mess with the deceased guy._

 _He respected Jiraiya because he offered him an opportunity to get away from Orochimaru. It also helped that Jiraiya was scary strong too,because skill also lands you brownie points with the jinchuuriki._

 _Although he didn't know the Sandaime yet, he respected him simply because of the fact that he tried his best to put Tayuya at ease. That little show of consideration resonated with the blond, and showed him that the Sandaime actually held some compassion in him, unlike the sick snake._

 _This Danzo waltzed in, insulted a man he respected on the sly, while attempting to pull rank on Naruto. What kind of shit was that?_

 _Danzo stiffened slightly, appalled at the audacity of the boy. Once he inducted him into the root program, he'd be sure to beat some respect into the little disrespectful child._

 _"Moving on from less trivial matters, where are we going to place our two new arrivals after they go through the proper channels?"_

 _"We'd have to place them based on their skill levels Danzo."_

 _"I see. Would you like to give us an estimate of your abilities, Tayuya?"_

 _Tayuya was about to speak up, but Naruto prevented her from giving away their skill levels. "I'd say we're around academy student level, we're both pretty barebones as of now."_

 _Looking suspiciously at the rugrat who spoke out of turn, Danzo couldn't help but have the feeling that the boy was heavily downplaying their skills. The plan already has gone awry due to his unexpected early arrival, and now he's learning that the boy isn't even at least genin level by now._

 _Something was not right._

 _Hiruzen gazed upon the two children, taking in every little detail of the two. From the way they carried themselves, Hiruzen could gather that Tayuya was a long range specialist, preferring to stay out of the range of potential opponents due to her opening act of staying near the door, keeping her back covered allowing all potential hostiles to stay within her view._

 _Naruto on the other hand, was obviously comfortable with close range combat, as his speed that he displayed earlier, which was way above academy level speed, and his eagerness to throw himself into the middle of potential showed the Sandaime that he had two prospects with large amounts of potential. While Danzo was exceptional when it came to training shinobi to turn them into blank killing machines, he wasn't going to get his hands on these two. Hiruzen knew that Danzo was here to take the children to make them his, so he had to prevent that._

 _"I see that our two new additions to the village need to be placed within the academy based on what they are telling us. Does that sound alright with you two?"_

 _They both nodded._

 _"Good, once you go through screening and we set you up with an apartment, you will be able to start at the academy." Hiruzen finalized._

 _Danzo however, was livid._

 _"Surely two children under Orochimaru are far beyond those in the academy. It would be very unwise of you to waste their time with the basics. I suggest allowing me to train them, so that I may further their growth and allow them to use their skills while serving with the village's best interests at heart."_

 _"My word on this subject is final Danzo."_

 _Clenching his jaw in anger, Danzo knew that Hiruzen would not budge on the matter. His old friend could be notoriously stubborn when the situation called for it, "I suppose so. Very well, I shall leave at once." His announcement of his departure was backed by him exiting the room._

 _The rest of the group left in the room waited for a couple of minutes before continuing the conversation, "Alright. Now that matter is settled, I would hazard a guess to say that you are both tired?"_

 _Tayuya simply let out a yawn._

 _"Nope, I feel like I need to be active. C'mon Tayuya, we gotta use up our energy in our youth while we still have it."_

 _"YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUIUUUTH!" A strong voice screamed in the distance, causing the red head present to look outside of the window in confusion and a slight amount of fear._

 _"Uhh, what was that?"_

 _"Nothing you need to be concerned about at the moment Tayuya-chan." He refused to let the flames of youth scar these kids._

 _"Now then, once we finish talking about today's events and I wrap up the rest of this paperwork, we'll relocate to my clan compound, where you will be staying until we get all of your arrangements in order."_

 _"Okay, Hokage-sama. Thank you for everything."_

 _"Its the least I can do my dear."_

 _"You guys can go ahead, I'm going to go track down that youth business and get a piece of that action."_

 _"Don't let him leave the room unsupervised Jiraiya."_

 _Jiraiya snickered, "Whatever you say old man."_

 _X.X.X._

(End Flashback)

Although the plan set in place hasn't gone the way that it was anticipated to go, Danzo didn't dwell on the issue for long. There was plenty of time left, and Danzo was a patient man.

All he had to do was play the waiting game, Naruto would be his one way or another.

X.X.X.

 **And cut. That took me longer than I expected.**

 **Read and review guys, I need feedback. Let me know how you feel about the story.**

 **I hinted at Naruto's current fighting style in this chapter as you can see. His current style is not ideal for sparring, due to how lethal it is. Fear not, for I will give actual fight scenes out within the next couple of chapters.**

 **Expect the next chapter sometime soon, SPVNK out.**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Do I have to even bother?

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 4: Let's Take That Journey**

X.X.X.

(One Year Later)

"Remind me why I'm coming with you again?"

"Cause Sasuke, you know you enjoy my company."

"I don't know how many times I've told you that I want to kill you."

"You don't know how many times I've had the opportunity to do so."

Shikamaru decided to join in the conversation as he walked along with the two, "Naruto, just of curiosity. How many times?"

"I'd estimate around 2,637 times, and that's just from our spars."

Oddly specific for an estimation.

"Are you going by those tap things you always do when you fight?" Shikamaru asked, casting a analytical side glance at the blond walking to the left of him. Ever since the first time that they had to spar in the academy, Shikamaru noticed that Naruto was the only one out of the male Rookie Nine to never actually land a direct shot during a fight.

His surprise attacks on him and Sasuke didn't count since the punches and kicks thrown were meant to scare them into getting better.

Sasuke and Kiba were quick to engage in fist fights.

Choji, while less likely to instigate a fight, wasn't adverse to trading blows either.

Shino's clan fighting style didn't call for taijutsu, but the pure taijutsu spars that took place during the academy forced him to get active in that field.

Due to Naruto's constant harassment and surprise attacks, Shikamaru had to learn to either become more proficient in hand to hand combat and step up his training regiment, or spend every day getting hospitalized. He tried to go with the flow one day and let Naruto knock him out just so that he could spend a day or several in the hospital, free of any kind of chaos related to Naruto...

That plan of action was quickly ruined once Shikamaru learned the hard way that the jinchuuriki would go as far as to henge into his mom just to get him out.

Naruto however, didn't hit anyone during the academy spars. All he did was dodge, wrap the limb up, occasionally hiss just for shits and giggles, before sliding away. It bothered Shikamaru because despite never actually hitting anyone, Naruto didn't lose a single fight in the four years that they attended the academy. He'd always manage to get his opponent to step out of the ring by utilizing his disturbing flexibility and unusual avoidance skills, with the exception of Shino or the Nara.

He just picked them up and threw them out.

"Yeah, I see you noticed that habit of mine."

Sasuke grunted at that statement. That particular habit of Naruto's pissed the Uchiha off highly, since he could never get a true fight out of the blond. It was akin to fighting with a snake that didn't like to bite. It would wrap around you and slither about, yet would never strike you.

Only difference between the blond and a snake is that the jinchuuriki actually had arms to hit with, yet he just chose to tap elbows, shoulders, knees, and even toes. It was infuriating. Maybe now that they graduated from the academy and have become genin, maybe Sasuke could get some adrenaline pumping action now.

Sasuke decided to ask Naruto a question he asks him on a daily basis in order to see if he'd finally crack and give it a straight answer, "Why do you never fight any of us seriously? Are you just that arrogant or something?"

Well wasn't that a prime example of the pot calling the kettle black.

Naruto flashed one of his trademark annoying smiles at the raven haired boy before shrugging his shoulders, "As of now, nobody's on my level. Sorry if your ego can't handle it, but I refuse to hurt you guys like that."

Shikamaru and Sasuke deadpanned. _"Do those random attacks he calls 'surprise deathmatches not count?"_ They thought at the same time.

Like Sasuke thought, Naruto gave his regular response. It's like he knew exactly how to annoy anyone and everyone around him. It had to be a special skill.

After ten more minutes of walking, the trio finally arrived at their destination, the Konoha Library. The reasoning behind their visit, unknown to the two that weren't Naruto, is due to Naruto wanting to see if he could find any information on his last name. The last time he tried to come and conduct some research, the keeper of the library turned him away since he didn't have the proper clearance to look for shinobi related subjects such as that. Now that they've all passed the test and became official genin, he decided to give it another go.

Sasuke came because while he always shows hostility towards the blond, he'd be lying if he said that he hasn't grown used to being around Naruto and didn't enjoy his company on a daily basis.

Not that he'd admit it out loud.

Shikamaru came because Naruto left him with no other easy going options. Naruto and Sasuke arrived at his house earlier that morning in order to pick up the Nara. Unfortunately for the human sloth, his mother answered the door. Since she was proud of Shikamaru actually showing some drive to work harder in his training and all, she decided to give him a day off of his hard work, and kicked him out of his own home for the day, stating that he needed some downtime with friends. Since he was out of the house with no way to get back in until probably night time and at the mercy of the menace, he had two options.

One, he could try to go off and do his own thing, while fending off any random shenanigans brought down upon him by Naruto. Since that required excess energy that he didn't really feel like exerting today, he just went along with it, picking the safer second option.

As they walked into the library, Naruto noticed the quiet, peaceful atmosphere present with the building and smiled. Despite his outward personality, Naruto could respect a well placed silence.

He also loved to disturb silences as well.

"Look out library, Konoha's new genin has arrived, and he's hungry for some knowledge! Come my friends, let us quench our insatiable appetites for knowledge!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, alerting everyone within the library of the jinchuuriki now within the building. His two companions with him tried their hardest not to look like they came with the nuisance, but were failing miserably. They were shocked at the boy's sudden display of vernacular though.

"Did you know that he could talk like that?" Shikamaru whispered while staring at the back of the quickly moving blond, who already left the two standing by the entrance.

"Nope. It seems that he has brain cells that aren't just dedicated to allowing him to be the most irksome person in the world."

Another hint that Naruto wasn't ordinary. Shikamaru would have to look into what made him tick eventually. He could get a head start today and figure out the reason why Naruto was so adamant on coming to the library...

...That could wait, right now he was looking to find a secluded area that he could sleep in.

X.X.X

(With Naruto)

Naruto walked up to the counter to find some help on his search. The library was massive, and it would probably take hours upon hours of searching or an incredible case of luck for him to find the information that he wanted on his own.

As he approached the counter, he then noticed a different face that wasn't there before. A young girl about

a year older than him with blond, messy hair with glasses that had swirls in them became aware of the boy's presence and his headband wrapped around his neck bandana style, before affixing a friendly smile onto her face, "Welcome to the library ninja-san, how may I help you?"

Ninja-san? Damn that sounded good to him. A bit too formal for his tastes though.

"The name's Naruto. Don't add the san part, I'm not too big on honorifics."

"Okay Naruto. Now, how can I help you?"

The blond leaned forward onto the counter, propping himself up by his elbows, "You can help me by pointing me in the direction of any Uzumaki related books. And..." He paused for dramatic effect.

...

...

"You can also help by telling me how the hell you have those swirls in your glasses. They're really interesting."

Not knowing how to respond to the latter portion of his question, Shiho decided to answer the part that she knew she could, "Umm, Uzumaki...lets see. The Uzumaki books should be located within the back of the library, amongst the other clan books. Let me know if you can't find it, and I'll gladly search for you."

Finally! Now he could figure out the significance behind his name. Those cryptic ass answers that Kabuto always gave never helped him out.

"The Uzumaki clan? Lets just say there's a reason they're no longer among us, Naruto-kun."

"If only you knew about your lineage, you'd probably have an ego that's bigger than Manda's."

How the hell could he learn about his lineage through cryptic half assed answers? One of the things on his bucket list involved force feeding Kabuto his glasses.

He was going to complete that bucket list come Hell or high water.

"Naruto-kun, you're talking to yourself. Is that a normal occurrence with you?"

"Disregard that. You didn't hear anything."

X.X.X

(With Sasuke)

Sasuke walked through the aisles of the massive library in search of something to occupy his time. This time that he was spending had be towards something productive, as he wasn't one to waste time. He had goals to achieve, people to kill, and a clan to restore.

Despite these facts about the Uchiha, he wasn't anywhere near any shinobi related sections. There was no point in using the library time to read up on his clan or any potential techniques since the information available was pretty barebones so as to not give any clan secrets away.

He could just go home and do that, and receive far more little tidbits of info there.

No, Sasuke was in search of something that Naruto stated that he needed in order to grow as both a shinobi and as a person.

"Hobbies For A Shinobi... maybe this is what I'm looking for."

Yes, Sasuke was in desperate need of a hobby. He was driven to this by Naruto, who told him that while his passion for fantasizing about killing his older sibling was cool and all, it was giving him a serious case of tunnel vision in life. Thus he needed something else to occupy his time when he wasn't training. It would keep him well rounded later in life, which was a helathy thing.

After determining that the book was worth a gander, the lad picked it up and flipped through the pages. So far, none of these interested him at all, venturing less on the side of things for a shinobi and leaning more towards being common civilian pastimes. He needed something that was befitting of a person such as himself.

"Sasuke Uchiha looking for hobbies? My question from that day you freaked out in the academy still stands." Shikamaru's voice rang out from the left of Sasuke, causing him to turn to scowl at the pineapple headed sloth laying against the wall. He didn't need his opinion at all, "My mental health isn't something you should be concerned with. I'm perfectly fine."

"If you say so. What's with the hobby searching?"

"The idiot says that I need a hobby in order not to fall off of the deep end in my quest to achieve my goals." Sasuke answered.

"Makes sense, you are a little off in the head. No need to let you proceed without giving you something to keep you grounded."

The Uchiha growled, "Say something about my mental stability again and we have to fight." Dammit, he was not some lunatic! Even though people had a perfectly valid reason to assume such a thing with the recent slaughter of his family, it didn't sit well with Sasuke when everyone's first instinct pertaining to him was to question his sanity.

Shikamaru merely smiled in response, a clear sign of evidence that Naruto has rubbed off on him, "Naruto was right, you are easy to mess with."

Sasuke turned his attention back to the book, effectively ending the conversation.

After about ten minutes of silence, Sasuke surprisingly started a new conversation, "Shikamaru, do you ever get the feeling that there's more to Naruto than we know?"

"Duh. Everyone has their history and backstory."

"Not in that sense, jackass." The fact that Naruto was rubbing off on the two heirs was not a good thing. Shikamaru developed a penchant for smartass remarks while Sasuke was prone to go along with Naruto's random plans, secretly enjoying the chaos that the two tend to cause on a daily basis. It could only spell trouble for the rest of their lives.

"I mean, think about it. Nobody has seen him around the village until the academy, you never hear nor see him talk about his past or family, plus his skill level." Sasuke was not admitting that Naruto was strong, his pride wouldn't let him.

Shikamaru thought about what the raven haired heir stated, before speaking up, "You're right. There's something pretty fishy going on with Naruto... think we should try to get to the bottom of it?" Shikamaru was already planning on doing it anyway, but an extra hand is always welcome.

Sasuke pondered on whether or not he should take up the boy's suggestion. After weighing the pros and cons of setting out to complete such a task, he placed the book back onto the shelf before turning and shrugging his shoulders, "I'm in." Shit, why not. Maybe if he unraveled the mystery behind the moron, he could get him to finally crack and give him a real, no holds barred fight.

With their plan set in stone, Shikamaru rose from his previous spot on the ground before looking around, "First place to start at would be here. We can figure out a little bit of info if we find out why Naruto was really determined to come here." Shikamaru knew that the blond was deadly serious about whatever he came to the library for when he threatened to drag the boy by his ponytail to the library in response to the Nara's suggestion of going cloud watching instead of the library.

Troublesome.

"Sounds like a plan, let's find him."

X.X.X

(Other Side of the Library)

 _"Must resist urge to be perverted. Resist!"_ Naruto thought as he tried his hardest to not look up. The reason he had to bite the urge to look upwards is because of Shiho being on a ladder directly above him, with her skirt allowing a full view of her undergarments to be available. He wouldn't do that however, simply because that wasn't his style. She was a pretty nice girl, no need to do something that disrespectful to somebody who was helping him.

If she gave him permission however, he'd gladly look.

After scouring the top rows that were not available to those without a ladder, Shiho finally found what she was looking for. Removing the archaic, dusty book from the row, she turned around and looked down to smile at the boy that she was currently helping, "Naruto-kun, I found something you might like!" Strange, why was he looking at the floor that hard?

She descended back down the ladder, making sure not to be clumsy and drop the book or herself.

After reaching the bottom of the ladder, she proudly handed Naruto the paperback, "Here you go! Sorry for all of the dust, that book hasn't been touched in awhile." Naruto happily accepted the copy, getting more and more excited at the prospect of learning more of his clan's history.

Shiho continued to smile as she looked back and forth between the boy and the book, "What's the deal with your Uzumaki research, if you don't mind me asking?" She's never seen someone around her age come into the library looking for a book on such outdated topics.

Neither of the two noticed Sasuke and Shikamaru peek around the corner in a comical fashion.

"My last name is Uzumaki. Somebody from my past used to always do dickhead moves and give vague statements about my last name. The way he was talking, I knew that there was more to my surname than he was letting on. Fast forward to the present, and here I am. Gotta learn about who I am." He explained with a large smile plastered on his face before shrugging his shoulders, "Who knows, my last name might be the name of a badass clan that was cooler than the Uchihas."

Sasuke coughed. It suspiciously sounded like he said bullshit mid cough, but Naruto let it slide, "Why are you guys peeking around the corner like a couple of creeps? Come on over here and meet Shiho-chan, she's pretty cool."

At that moment, Shiho caught a glimpse of Shikamaru's face, and absolutely felt all warm and fuzzy inside. The disinterested gaze, the slouched shoulders, and that lazy demeanor, oh Kami!

She wasn't ready for such a fine specimen to show up today, and had to excuse herself before she embarrassed herself, "No no, that's not necessary. I have to return to work, so you guys can do what you guys came to do. I'll see you all later!" And with that, Shiho promptly disappeared from view, getting Naruto to nod his head before rubbing his hands in a mischievous fashion, "I smell opportunity here." He noticed that sudden change in her demeanor once Shikamaru showed up, and made a mental note to take advantage of this development in the future.

Both of the boys came from around the corner, yet found it unnecessary due to Naruto's sudden departure of the row that he was in. He breezed past the two as he burrowed his face within the book, tuning the outside world out while diving deep within the figurative ocean that was his clan's history. Both Sasuke and Shikamaru noticed the speed that he was travelling as he made a bee line straight to a table, "Think he got what he came for?" Sasuke rhetorically asked, smirking at the blond's interest in whatever he was reading. Sasuke didn't even think that the blond was capable of reading a book, let alone going to the library.

Shikamaru shrugged his shoulders, a common trait that the trio all seemed to unconsciously do a lot, "Judging by his absolute focus on that book, I'd say he has it. Let's go see what he has." With that said, they proceeded to the table that the jinchuuriki was currently stationed at.

X.X.X.

(Somewhere Else In the Village, Couple of Hours Later)

Sakura and Ino walked shoulder to shoulder down the road, while having the most intense stare off one could find in the elemental nations. It amazed the people passing by that they have yet to bump into anyone. Sparks flew back and forth as the two seemed to try and disintegrate each other through their respective stares alone.

What could be this important to cause the two to really try to reduce each other's brains to hot mush with pure ocular willpower alone on this pleasant day?

"Its obvious that Sasuke wants me, Ino-pig! You're just some cheap entertainment while I'm the main attraction."

"The only reason he'd want you is to use your forehead as a reflective surface so that he could make sure he looks extra good for me!"

Really should have seen that coming.

And damn Ino, that was a really low blow. If being a shinobi didn't work out for her, she should seriously consider a career in professional shit talking. She'd make a killing.

As the two continued to send verbal shots at each other, they failed to notice a red headed blur barrel straight into them until it was too late. With the grace of a football player, the blur crashed into the quarreling duo, sending all three of them sprawled out into the street.

"Ow, did anyone get the number of the truck that hit me?"

"Sorry! I just gotta get away from that crazy bitch!" The red head, now identified as Tayuya apologized before looking around in fear.

Shaking her head to get rid of the stars that she was seeing, Sakura looked at the musical genin in confusion, "Who are you running from? And why did you call them a crazy bitch?" Everyone was used to Tayuya's rather crass language by now, but it was still a bit unusual for the musician to directly refer to someone as such a derogatory term. Combine that with the fact that she was in a frantic hurry to run away from whoever seemed to be troubling her, and it shouldn't have been a surprise that Sakura was genuinely curious about what was going on.

Ino on the other hand, saw this as part of a bigger plan, "So that's your game, forehead? Try to get somebody to take me out while I'm distracted so you have less competition for Sasuke's heart? Well I got news for you, Pinky! It didn't work, so suck on that!" She exclaimed as she used a nearby child as a prop to help stand back up. She patted the confused boy on his head, "Good job kid, you could be a professional stand up... helper?"

Ignoring Ino, Sakura ambled over to Tayuya to help her up while trying to get more info, "Seriously Tayuya, what's got you so spooked?" Nobody has ever seen the flute player like this since her and Naruto appeared four years ago. It was slightly unnerving to see somebody who was usually an abrasive, unshakable, hardass of a person reduced to a scared young girl.

Tayuya continued to look around to avoid the monster, "I'm not scared, it's more like annoyance." Her slight shaking didn't let her fool Sakura at all, and she made sure that Tayuya knew, "Listen, I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm willing to help you out with whatever is bothering you. I can't help if you don't let me know what's going on though."

Tayuya sat and wondered if she should involve the pink haired kunoichi in her problems, before mentally shrugging and deciding to let her in on what was happening, "Okay, I guess I could tell you. There's this crazy lady that's been harassing me the whole morning, trying to get me to fight her. Usually I'd never back down from a fight... but the psycho is just too much for me." It took a lot for the prideful kunoichi to admit that, to a person that she didn't even consider close nonetheless.

Ino walked over after hearing Tayuya give a vague explanation of the events that made up her morning, "Well why don't you just tell somebody important, like a jonin or a chunin or somebody? I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mess with you if a high ranking ninja got involved."

"Aww that's cute, you little girls think somebody can stop me from cutting her up. Really cute." A feminine voice from behind the three taunted, easily conveying a sense of superiority. The girls turned around to see a woman with dark purple hair pinned up into a spiky ponytail, a tan trench coat that kept her mesh, short orange mini skirt, almost see through body suit from exposing any sensitive areas, and black shinobi sandals that came up to her knee standing in the road, smiling in a way that promised several forms of pain.

Tayuya paled at the sight of the woman, "Thats her, that's the evil snake lady who won't leave me alone! Go away, I don't want nothing to do with you!" She screamed. A kunai found its way to her cheek, drawing blood from a cut directly under her eye. Oh shit, she was out for blood now.

Literally.

The purple haired lady appeared directly behind the scared girl, scaring all three of the girls before grabbing the kunai and licking the copper flavored fluid off. Tasty blood like this was hard to come by, good thing that hers was absolutely delectable, "Why'd you run from me all morning? I just wanted a couple of friendly spars between two fellow Konoha kunoichi."

Losing her fear at that ridiculous lie, Tayuya turned to give that maniac a piece of her mind, "Are you fucking serious? Why would you be trying to spar with a fresh genin like me? The skill level gap between us clearly shows that it wouldn't be a spar, it would be a one sided beatdown!" There was no way in hell that this woman wasn't missing a few brain cells, how retarded is it for somebody her ranking to really try to spar with a genin? She didn't even call it training or anything, just a full blown spar.

Anko simply smirked, "I know more than just your rank girly." Another cryptic statement, god damn it. "Only reason I'm after you now is because I don't know where the other one is. Say, how about we make a deal?"

"If the deal involves me finding Naruto so that you can try to put him through some nefarious plan, then you can eat my ass until your jaw falls off, you psycho bitch! I'm not gonna rat out the only friend that wouldn't rat me out, so suck on that!"

Ino joined in, mainly for Tayuya's last four words. It felt good when somebody used your material in such a passionate manner, "Yeah, you can go ahead and leave now! Go and put some clothes on, you're scarring that little boy with the bright future for life!"

Said little boy that Ino used was intently staring at Anko with a dopey smile on his face, wondering why his pants were feeling so constricting all of a sudden. Oh yeah, he was absolutely scarred.

Anko struck a rather provocative pose just to drive the nails in the coffin.

Cue little boy, along with several other male passerbys, fainting. It felt good to know that you can easily do this to men. Being one of the sexiest women in Konoha had its perks.

Time to get back to harassing the little genin, "You sure you don't wanna tell me? I'll be your best friend."

"Fuck. You."

Anko scratched her chin in fake contemplation for a good five minutes just to irritate the girl even further, before a ruckus further down the road caused all four of them to see what all the commotion was about. A decent sized cloud of smoke was in the middle of an intersection about ten feet away from them, with several distinctive silhouettes standing inside of it. Three of the silhouettes appeared to be staring down at a fourth shadow, which resembled a rectangular box.

"Godammit Konohamaru, this is why I said we needed less smoke! I can barely see, *cough, cough* let alone breath!" An obviously young, feminine voice yelled out with a tinge of frustration in her voice. The introduction was completely ruined because that idiot refuses to listen.

"Sorry to say this Kono, *cough, coooough* but I agree with Moegi. This is a little too much smoke." That was an understatement. The blanket of smoke was so thick that the poor boy couldn't even see the ground that he was kneeling on.

"Both of you shut up! We had to go hard or go home with this introduction, I'd rather be talked about for being overboard than not having enough!"

"Despite how annoying he is, I kinda already like the kid and his little gang. He reminds me of me."

"Higly infuriating?"

"Too determined to go above and beyond for the most troublesome, petty reasons?"

"Short for your age?"

"Sasuke, wanna have a real spar? I promise I won't go easy on you this time."

"Bring it dobe!"

Two of the silhouettes engaged in an intense wrestling match in the middle of the street, while the third simply sighed and walked out of the smoke, "Troublesome people."

"Go boss, kick his ass!"

"You got it boss!"

Anko watched the smoke clear up, and got a spark of devious intent in her eyes when she saw who was on the ground placing the Uchiha heir in a textbook headlock, "I don't need you anymore Tayuya, I found the one I really want." She walked towards the unsanctioned exhibition match in the street before pulling the two apart and looking at the blond, "Oi, wanna come with me and talk? Me and you have a similar upbringing, and I'd like to pick your brain."

"No thanks, I'm about to leave the village sometime soon. You can talk to Shikamaru instead, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind." Nobody noticed the fact that Shikamaru wasn't even there anymore.

Anko put on a smile that was a little too sweet before pressing her forehead to the jinchuuriki's, "Think of that as less of an invitation and more of a order from a superior. And what do you mean, leaving the village?"

The whiskered boy wonder grinned cheekily before answering, "Top secret stuff, lady. Maybe when I get back we can talk." And with that, both the grinning Naruto and Sasuke disappeared in their respective clouds of smoke, informing Anko that she was talking to two Kage Bunshins, "Dammit, how do they even know that jutsu?!" It was a kinjutsu for a reason, damn it. No wet behind the ear genin should know something like that, that's too dangerous for kids like them.

Growling in frustration, she then turned around to face her previous target, only to find out that she hauled ass the minute Anko tried to go after the clone. The other two baby genin were gone as well, which further pissed the serpentine beauty off. She hoped to salvage the situation and turned back to where the kids in the box were...

... They were gone too.

This was embarrassing, how did all of them escape without her noticing? There's no way that a bunch of kids should've been able to leave the presence of a tokubetsu jonin without her knowing.

Stomping childishly in the street, she stopped when she realized she wasn't alone. The same little boy from earlier stood a couple of feet from her, smiling nervously, "Since they're gone, you can pick my brain if you want, pretty lady. I won't run from you."

X.X.X

(Three days later)

"So let me get this straight. You plan to go all the way to a village that's supposedly not even standing anymore just on the off chance that you'll find something important?"

Naruto huffed at the statement before sighing, "Yes Sasuke, for the umpteenth time." It was really getting on his nerves having to repeat his plan of action to his friend.

Sasuke watched his friend back a bag full of all of the necessary gear he needed for the trip. He'd never seen Naruto so serious about something like this. Come to think of it, Naruto has never been serious about anything at all. All he's done for the past four years is wear that loony grin, harass everyone, and cause various amounts of problems for anyone who knew him. The sudden change of demeanor that he's displayed ever since that day in the library was a shock.

A knock on the door didn't stop Naruto from packing, "Could you get that while I finish up here?"

"I still say that you shouldn't go. What if you go out there and get killed or something?" Sasuke said as he went to answer the door. He wasn't concerned about the blond's health. At all.

...So what if he had an aversion to one of the few people who had his respect dying? Sue him.

Turning the doorknob to see who was outside, he took note of the thunder that began to brew in the distance. He looked at the person at the door before smirking, "You willingly came or did your mom force you to?"

"Are you going to sit there and look at me or are you going to let me in? In case you didn't hear, there's a storm coming and I don't feel like getting rained on." Shikamaru grunted, noticing the owner of the apartment packing. He walked in past Sasuke before looking at Naruto, "Why is he packing a bag up? Are you guys having a sleepover at Sasuke's or something?" He turned his head back to the door to see Sasuke frown, "Frowny face. Okay, sleepover it isn't."

"The dobe decided that he's going to go on some wild goose chase to find the destroyed village that his clan came from. Pretty stupid idea if you ask me." Sasuke informed Shikamaru in the most ass way possible. Shikamaru developed a talent for sarcasm and scathing remarks, while Sasuke mastered the art of insensitive asshole.

Alright, now Sasuke was really getting on his nerves, and not in the fun way either. To have somebody constantly shoot down something that meant a lot to you was a surefire way to make someone see red. Enough was enough.

Naruto took a pause in his packing, and stood up to glare at the raven haired dickhead. He stalked toward him, wearing an unusual look of complete rage. Once he finally reached him, Sasuke was then picked up off of his feet while experiencing an unhealthy amount of killing intent, "Let's get something straight here. You had a family. Doesn't matter if they're dead or not, the point is you had a family. Me, on the other hand... I didn't have shit! Yeah I had someone to train me, people to be around, but none of them were my family. I didn't have a mom or dad to come home to and be happy with. I didn't have a brother or sister, no aunt or uncles, none of that! Just a bunch of sadistic assholes that saw me as a prized possession, not an actual person. Do you know how it feels to be a little boy with absolutely no knowledge of his background? Not knowing who gave him his name, who gave birth to him? You don't, you're the last Uchiha. Before that title was unfortunately bestowed upon you, you had both your family and the village constantly reminding you of what you are, constantly kissing your family's ass, reminding you who you came from. This trip is for me to experience that, and I'll be damned if I let you stomp on something that means a whole lot to me. Say something else about it that I don't like, and I will GLADLY show you why me not taking you seriously during fights is the best course of action for your health!" Sasuke was then thrown across the room, crashing into the wall hard enough to cause several cracks to form.

With his piece spoken, Naruto returned to preparing his inventory while continuing to blast killing intent, leaving a absolutely gobsmacked Shikamaru standing there, "Umm, man are you okay?"

Sasuke was placed upside down against the wall, and responded while trying to regain his bearings, "I think I'm fine, I just hit the wall a little harder than expected. Nothing major." Despite having a rather low end apartment, Naruto's walls were pretty sturdy. Hope he didn't get a concussion or something.

"Not you, you had that coming. I'm talking about Naruto here."

"I'm fine Shika, but if you're here to do the same stuff that Sasuke has been doing, the chances of me breaking my foot off in your ass would be a whole lot lower if you did the smart thing and left." Damn, Sasuke really got under his skin. Its crazy because it's usually Naruto who gets under people's skin, not the other way around.

"When are you leaving?"

"Probably once I get packed. Why?"

...

...

"I'm coming too."

Looks of bewilderment and upside down bewilderment came from Naruto and Sasuke respectively and were directed at the Nara. Was Naruto that upset that he was starting to hear things? Did Sasuke hit his head that hard?

"Uhh Shika, you do know that this is a real trip outside of the village, not the academy thing where we end up like ten feet from the gate, right?"

"Yes. So?"

"Might be a possibility of running into fights along the way."

"Don't worry, I'm prepared for all of that. I just need to go get my gear ready. Are we gonna meet back here?"

"Before I answer that, why are you trying to come with me? This has nothing to do with you. Plus, wouldn't you want me gone for a couple of days so that you can be Naruto free for a while?"

Shikamaru chuckled at those questions, before walking over to the boy and smacking him upside the head, "You idiot, you're one of my closest friends. Regardless of how much I say stuff like that, you need to know that I have your back. This is a real important subject for you, so why not go along with my friend to provide some support?" Shikamaru really considered him a friend enough to go along with a self imposed mission that has nothing to do with him? That was pretty touching to hear. Well, if he wanted to come to support him, who was Naruto to stop him?

At least he wouldn't be bored and lonely on the excursion now.

Naruto got up and hugged Shikamaru, shocking everyone in the room further, "Thanks for coming Shika, that really means a lot to me."

Not expecting to be hugged by one of his most annoying, yet closest comrades, Shikamaru eventually returned the hug before breaking away, "Well I'm off to get my stuff, I'll be back once I'm done." He left swiftly, leaving Naruto and a still upside down Sasuke there.

...

...

"So are you just gonna stay upside down?"

"You're right. There's no time for being upside down... I should probably go pack too."

"Bullshit, you're not going."

"If I wasn't coming, then why would I say that I'm going to prepare? You had me sold at possible fights anyway."

Figures. You can get him to do damn near anything if you mention a fight.

X.X.X

(A Week Later, Land of Whirlpools)

The sunset gave the sky an orange glow as the trio cut through the thick foliage on the island. Naruto led the contingent, using a bone sword that he produced when no one was looking to chop down any

foolish plant that attempted to impede their advancement. After managing to leave the village with the permission of the Hokage, the three of them hauled ass towards the east coast. Once they arrived at the coast, they had to find a way to get across the water in order to get to their destination. Luckily a cargo ship was passing by.

However, the ship didn't allow them on at first due to the fact that they didn't have enough money. Thus they utilized their various skills of stealth, snuck onto the boat, found a smaller boat on the side of the ship, stole it, and managed to make the rest of the trip. It's a good thing for them that their morals were subject to change whenever needed.

Now they were steadily travelling through the jungle like terrain found on the island, trying to find a good place to stop at so that they could set up camp for the night.

"Are we there yet?"

"No Shika, we haven't been there since we reached the coast, haven't been there since we were on the boat, and we still aren't there now."

"How about now?"

"No."

...

...

"How about _now?_ "

"Please stop."

"I agree with the teme, its annoying as hell." Naruto grumbled, clearly annoyed. They could've been travelling much faster, but Sasuke and Shikamaru didn't know how to use chakra to climb trees, which would allow them to travel through the canopy where there were way less obstacles to overcome. He would've taught them, but his eagerness to get to the village overruled any thoughts of being an impromptu sensei on the trip.

Sasuke slapped away the millionth mosquito that tried to bite him before sparing Naruto a glance, particularly his bone sword, "Dobe, where'd you get that sword?" Both Shikamaru and Sasuke where wondering where it came from, but Shikamaru's constant complaining stopped him from asking about it. It didn't stop Sasuke, however.

Not wanting to give away his kekkei genkai so easily, Naruto quickly came up with a feasible lie, "I found it off of one of the corpses we passed by." Hopefully they bought it so that he didn't get questioned any further. The Sandaime told him not to go around parading his abilities so that the possibility of a lot of questions being asked remained low.

Shikamaru didn't buy it for one second due to the fact that the sword looked brand new, while any corpses that they passed were old. Old enough for them to be basically skeletons, with rusted out weapons and equipment. He chose not to say anything about it at the moment though, instead opting to continue whining about the journey that they were taking.

He really should have stayed home, damn his tendency to be a good friend. Maybe he should ask Sasuke for some pointers on how to be a complete ass to everyone around you in the future.

After about thirty more minutes of honest bushwhacking, the powerful sound of a large body of water past a couple of thick trees in front of them alerted the group of something noteworthy ahead. The group proceeded until they came to a stop on top of a cliff that provided them a rather aesthetically pleasing view of their objective. The sunset bathed the ruins in an orange, reddish glow, causing Naruto to look upon his heritage in awe, "Wow... this is where I could've been from." The village seemed to be comprised of many high rise buildings, with a massive waterfall on the other side of the village creating a river that split the city in two. Numerous bridges allowed the inhabitants in the past to cross the river freely, yet those bridges were clearly not treated well by time, as bits and pieces of the walkways were missing.

Naruto gazed upon the ruins for a couple more seconds before jumping in the air happily, "Forget camp, LET'S GO EXPLORE!"

X.X.X

(Later That Night, Uzushiogakure Ruins)

Two figures stood atop one of the fallen buildings, gazing down at the three kids walking down one of the roads. The tallest figure was a lanky, blond, shaggy haired man, wearing a white porcelain mask that had the Kirigakure symbol etched onto the forehead, with a green triangle on the chin. His clothing consisted of a black, baggy tank top, black shinobi pants, and grey, striped arm guards and shin guards. There was a large needle like sword in his hand with several feet of ninja wire draped around him, giving him a dangerous vibe.

His partner had long, brown hair, a long beard which he wore in strands adorned with beads and his lips were also noticeably dark in colour. The top of his head was wrapped in bandages, and he had an eye-patch covering his left eye, sprouting from under his headband that displayed a scratched out Kirigakure symbol. His outfit was composed of an extremely loose, long-sleeved pin-striped shirt and black pants, accentuated by the presence of striped leg-warmers matching his shirt.

The tallest one started to laugh maniacally before pointing at Naruto, "I wanna kill that little shit down there!" He didn't like the kid, and was in a rather foul mood due to the circumstances that caused them to be on the island. Nobody would be in a pleasant mood after being chased away from your home like wild animals, things just didn't work like that.

"Relax Kushimaru, we don't have to outright kill the boy. What we need to do is figure out why three out of place Konoha kids are all the way out here." The bearded one stated, wondering why the brats were creeping around the village. It doesn't seem like they came with a jonin, and Konoha wasn't a quick stroll away.

Kushimaru gave his partner an angry glare, not that he would know it since the skinny blond wore a mask, "Oi, fuck you!

We should kill them so that when the hunter-nin show, there won't be anyone to let them know we're here. Duh, Jinpachi." He had a point, the hunter-nin pursuing them would eventually get to the ruined village, and would probably be able to catch up quicker if the little boys down there gave them a tip. No loose ends existing would prevent that from being a problem. Kushimaru, although presenting a sound argument in favor of killing the kids, failed to consider one possible route.

"What if they didn't even know that we were here?" An even better, less violent point for Jinpachi. Those kids down there couldn't be anything higher than fresh, wet behind the ears genin, and Jinpachi and Kushimaru were elite jonin. It would be a highly mortifying day for the duo if they weren't able to sneak past three novices with all of the space provided to them. Seriously, how hard is it to go through some ruins silently?

Kushimaru grunted, begrudgingly finding the logic behind his associate's suggestion, "So what, we just move past the little shits without taking any action against them? I still feel a little jumpy about just leaving those kids to just wander about..." He paused before glaring with an even greater intensity at the young shinobi that stopped, specifically the blond one that was glaring right back at him, "They've spotted us, not bad."

"Maybe if you weren't oozing killing intent so much, we might've been able to go along with my plan. I guess it's your plan now that they've seen us." Jinpachi sighed as he tightened his grip on his usual sword, flashing a grin that revealed a mouth full of triangular, shark like teeth. Despite the fact that he was advocating for them to ignore the children and just sneak past them, he'd be lying if he said that he didn't want to fight at the moment. It was unlucky for his future victims that one of them just happened to spot them on the roof, showing the two that there may be a hidden gem amongst the presumed genin.

They were going to find out soon enough.

X.X.X

(With Naruto and Friends)

Naruto stared up at the roof that he felt that sickening killer intent originate from. Due to his upbringing, he was well versed in the art of knowing when somebody was in the mood to slaughter something that they didn't like.

" _This isn't good, those two up there are threats. Really major threats."_

Naruto was sure that he could take them, as it wasn't his first time fighting someone who wanted to bless him with the gift of not being alive anymore. He wasn't sure of how he was going to be a badass, kick their asses with his, in his own humble opinion, unstoppable kekkei genkai, while keeping Sasuke and Shikamaru from getting a taste of the afterlife. They really shouldn't have came, damn them and their good friend tendencies.

Formulating a quick getaway for them in his head, Naruto informed the two of their roles in his little strategy, "Okay guys, I'm not gonna mince words here. There's two strong guys who don't give off that much of a friendly vibe watching us, so here's how this is gonna go down. There's two things that they could try to do. If I'm correct, more than likely they'll come down here, try to intimidate us for a little, before attempting to gut us all like fresh fish. Once they come down here and get their superiority rant of how they're better than us, I'm going to drop a smoke bomb. You two will use that to run back to the boat, and wait for me while I stay here and handle them myself. Any questions?"

...

...

"You know, all this time we've been joking about you being slightly retarded... after that suicidal, dumb ass plan you just tried to get us to go along with, I'm starting to be inclined to believe that you really might be that dense." Shikamaru deadpanned, knowing that his proposal wasn't one of the blond's best ideas. Shikamaru knew the gravity of the situation that they were in since one of the two mystery opponents were radiating so much of the malicious intent that it was felt clearly, even with the distance of about 15 meters between them. The intent that Naruto was giving off earlier that week in his apartment was pretty potent, but the two that they were currently facing was on a higher level.

Basically, they were screwed.

Naruto shot his friend the bird, personally feeling insulted at that insinuation. How dare that sloth call one of his schemes retarded, he was confident in his ability to put these two down. A little support, like the support that he said that he came to give, would be nice.

Sasuke interjected with a question, "You never said the second possibility. So what is it?"

Naruto never got to answer as several senbon needles flew through the air, directly at each of their heads. Each of them dodged in their respective ways in order to avoid the surprise acupuncture, before registering the two swordsmen land in front of them.

At least Naruto didn't have to say the other half of their potential course of action, because he really didn't think that far. His speciality was fighting, not thinking. Leave that kind of stuff to Shikamaru.

The murderous duo eyeballed their targets for a good five minutes, allowing the tension to saturate the air around them. Nothing like a tense staring competition before a one sided slaughter. It really sets the tone.

Jinpachi turned his gaze onto Naruto, identifying him as the ring leader of the group, "Mind telling us what you're doing all the way out here, brat? This is nowhere near your neck of the woods, boy."

"Mind telling me why two of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist are over here with scratched out headbands? Guessing you guys went rogue... I bet the hunter-nin are on your asses like white on rice."

Well well well, it seemed that the baby ninja knew who they were to an extent. Isn't that cute, somebody did their research.

Too bad they still had to die, especially since the one with the whisker marks knew about the hunter-nin that were pursuing them.

Kushimaru smiled maliciously before breaking out into one of his trademark fits of maniacal giggling, "If you know that hunter-nin are coming for our heads, you know why me and Jinpachi here are standing before you. Make it easy on yourselves and just stand in one line so I can get you all in one shot!" The malevolent needle worker laughed, making a show of aiming his gigantic needle sword directly at Naruto's heart.

Naruto grit his teeth before slowly backing up, subtly signaling to his two teammates that he was about to throw down the smoke. Studying under Orochimaru had him memorize any and everybody B ranked or higher in the bingo book, so that he'd be able to recognize any substantial threats he'd come across in his lifetime. These two were A ranked opponents, people who were not to be taken lightly as they're predisposed to murder them all ruthlessly. Their swords, the Nuibari (Sewing Needle), and the Shibuki (Splash) weren't swords that could be taken lightly, as one mistake could end up with them being skewered or blown to pieces respectively. They had to play it smart.

Jinpachi took his sword off his back, and swung it forth in a vertical manner, allowing it to crash into the street with a menacing crack, "Any last words before we take your heads, boys?"

In response to this, Naruto threw down a smoke bomb that covered the immediate area while simultaneously creating two Kage Bunshin to grab Sasuke and Shikamaru and take them up into the building on their left. Once the clones got a hold of them and took off, Naruto resolved to put these two down. Orochimaru praised his skills highly, and he'd be damned if he didn't live up to expectations.

Without fanfare, Naruto dashed directly into the smoke cover, producing two menacingly jagged daggers to attack the two with. He reached the other side if the smoke to see the duo still standing in place, with Jinpachi eagerly waiting for Naruto to close the distance. Kushimaru tossed several senbon at the jinchuuriki's legs, hoping to slow down his approach. His speed was something that they weren't expecting, as it was easily chunin level.

Naruto simply jumped over the ranged attack before performing an incredible amounts of flips and twists, aiming to gather some well earned momentum for his strikes once he completed his descent. He angled himself towards Jinpachi, striving to drive one of his daggers directly into the man's skull.

In hindsight, Naruto would come to realize that trying to mount a direct assault against two high level swordsmen, especially from the air, was a pretty fucking stupid idea. They were that level for a reason, after all.

"Cute little acrobatics kid, it's too bad that you're probably going to die from this first attack though." Jinpachi said as he swung his Shibuki directly at Naruto, who switched from attempting to attack to defending at the last second, allowing more bones to extend from his forearm to aid in blocking the mammoth blade.

"No fucking way... that little shit has a kekkei genkai?!" Kushimaru exclaimed as he saw the bones originate from the airborne child. Kekkei genkai in their village weren't received very well. Large amounts of people with bloodlines got murdered just because of their abilities. It was one of the main driving reasons behind the civil war going on in Kirigakure.

Jinpachi's expression turned grim as he allowed the numerous explosive tags produced within the blade to reveal themselves, "You really have to die now. Let's see how that disgusting feature you call a bloodline helps you survive this, boy." A massive explosion engulfed Naruto, sending him careening into the building that Sasuke and Shikamaru were currently in. His body impacted the side of the building harshly, sending large quantities of rubble into the street below, forcing the two rogues to dodge.

After dodging all of the debris, Kushimaru looked up at the hole in the side of the damaged building while growling, "You think he survived?"

"I know he survived."

Kushimaru glanced over in his partner's direction, "So how do we go about this? If he can survive a slash at point blank range from Shibuki, he must be a hard character to kill."

Jinpachi merely swung his sword in a wide arc towards the building, willing a fresh, longer roll of explosive tags to attach to the dilapidated structure before grinning and taking off to the right, allowing the roll to extend freely behind him.

Realizing what his comrade in arm's game plan was, the masked swordsman cackled in a gleeful manner before rushing into the soon to be pile of rubble. Better apply some pressure on those kids so that they can't escape their deaths.

X.X.X

(With Shikamaru and Sasuke)

Sasuke felt absolutely robbed and insulted.

Once the smoke pellet thrown by the dobe disguised their movements, he was prepared to face off with two powerful opponents in order to test his skills and see where he stacks up in the ninja world.

What he wasn't prepared for is two dobe's practically kidnapping him and the sloth, taking them out of the fight before it even began. Now they were sitting in what seemed to be an old hotel, which was surprisingly still decent looking considering how everything else outside looked. They would've left the room that the clones brought them in to go assist Naruto in the battle down below, but the copies were adamant on not letting them go outside.

One clone stood at the door of the room, while the other stood alongside Sasuke and Shikamaru near the wall, listening to the sounds of battle outside. Shikamaru uncharacteristically punched a hole in the wall, crying out in frustration, "Why the hell did he think it was a smart idea to try to take those two on by himself?!" Everybody knew that Naruto was better than he usually led them to believe, but unlike him and Sasuke, Shikamaru didn't have a super large ego with his head up his ass. This prevented him from thinking that he could win against two high caliber shinobi hell bent on taking their lives. It was obvious to the intelligent boy that Naruto bit off more than he could chew on this one, he just hoped that he didn't lose a friend tonight because of that friend thinking that he was unstoppable.

The clone near the door spoke up, "He had us take you guys in here so that he could fight and not worry about you two getting hurt. Don't worry, boss is gonna handle it, he's too much of a badass to die."

BOOM

An explosion outside shook the foundation of the building, almost managing to make all of those present lose their balance.

"... Does the dobe know any explosive techniques?"

"Nope, we only know two jutsu at the moment."

Any further commentary had to be put on pause as the wall that they were standing near suddenly exploded, sending various amounts of debris flying into the room and destroying the clone while sending Shikamaru flying. The human sized projectile responsible for the unexpected demolition embedded itself into the wall above the bed.

Once everyone got their bearings, they took note of Naruto's new appearance and cringed. His arms were completely burned, with blackened, cooked skin filling the air with the pungent odor of charred flesh. His shirt was in tatters, barely managing to stay on his person. Blood dripped freely from his mangled torso, drenching the sheets below him with the crimson fluid.

Yeah, he was looking pretty fucked up.

He groaned before coughing up an unhealthy amount of blood, "That sword of his is no joke." He had to thank his lucky stars that his kekkei genkai allowed him to survive that, otherwise he'd probably be split in half. Good thing he had a abnormal amount of durability.

Shikamaru gasped at the damage that the blond received, and ran over to him to check all of his wounds, "Damn it Naruto, this is what happens when you think you can take on the world by yourself, you idiot!"

"Couldn't let you guys get hurt... as a matter of fact, you guys need to run back to the boat and get out of here while you can."

Both Sasuke and Shikamaru shared the same sentiments, though expressed them in their own unique ways.

"It's official, you really are touched in the head."

"We can't leave, I still have to get my shot at them. Oh yeah, and avenge you I guess..."

"No matter what you say, we're not leaving you behind."

"Did you go easy on him too, dobe?"

"Fuck you, those two aren't people you go easy on." Before the two could begin some banter, the clone decided to peel Naruto off of the wall like a bloody sticker, causing him to bite back a pained scream, "You can sit and flirt with Sasuke later, boss. Right now, there's two missing nin outside planning on how to kill us."

Despite the tense situation, Shikamaru couldn't help but laugh at the jab thrown. Leave it to Naruto... well a clone of him to take shots at others, including himself during a life or death battle.

Ignoring the bunshin, Sasuke addressed the injured jinchuuriki, "Are you able to move around freely?"

Naruto shakily rose up to stand on his feet, "Don't worry about me, I'll be perfectly fine. Let's just try to get out of here in one piece."

Shikamaru held a warranted amount of skepticism at that statement due to Naruto's injuries. But as concerned as he was over his friend's health, he had to admit that they needed to leave. Fighting those two was not an advisable option after seeing what one swing did to their strongest fighter.

They all gathered around the door, with the clone leading the way, Shikamaru trailing behind him, and Sasuke and the real Naruto taking the back. The clone kicked the door open to allow everyone to rush out and escape the building.

Too bad that Kushimaru was standing directly in the doorway.

"Hi kids! Blondie! Die for me you little mutant!"

Letting out an insane cackle with his sword aimed directly at the clone's torso, he mercilessly stabbed directly in front of him at a speed that only a seasoned swordsman could achieve, piercing both the faux Naruto and Shikamaru cleanly. Shikamaru managed to shift at the last second, allowing the blade to impale his shoulder instead of his heart as the clone dispelled.

The force that Kushimaru put behind the thrust was enough to send Shikamaru across to the wall adjacent from the doorway, effectively pinning him there. He would've tried to pry himself free with his non fucked up arm, but the malevolent shinobi peppered his functioning arm with numerous senbon. The pain was excruciating, and the amount of blood that Shikamaru was losing at a rapid pace was causing his vision to fade to black.

Right before he was completely out of it, he registered several things.

Sasuke and Naruto screaming his name at the top of their lungs.

Naruto taking aim beforeshooting out several bones of various sizes from his body directly at the man responsible.

Sasuke flipping through hand seals before exhaling a large stream of fire from his mouth towards the offender.

The masked swordsman laughing his ass off before dodging the projectiles.

The building that they were in starting to rumble, right before he heard the name of a jutsu being yelled out, "Bakutō Jutsu: Happa Rokujūshi (Blastsword Technique: Blasting Bridle Repeating Death)!"

The following explosion that saw everything going up in flames.

X.X.X.

 **Hi guys, bye guys. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you next chapter.**

 **I'm out.**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't legally own Naruto. In my mind I do though, that's pretty legal.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 5: Stick And Roll**

 **X.X.X.**

(Uzushiogakure Ruins)

The sounds of a massive fire burning the different building materials of a recently brought a warm, fuzzy feeling to Jinpachi as he looked proudly at his handiwork.

He grinned before propping his beloved Shibuki on his shoulder, letting out a sigh of accomplishment. There's no way that those brats should have managed to survive being in an exploding building. Sure it was a little bit of overkill, but hey. His sword had an unlimited amount of explosive tags within it. Overkill became an integral part of his battle style the minute he learned how to use the blade.

At least he had a sword that wasn't as boring as Kubikiribocho (Executioner's Blade). Although it had its appeal being a mammoth sized instrument of death, it still lost to just about every other sword in the Swordsmen's weapon line up in terms of cool factor.

After five more minutes of silent appreciation of his latest attack's aftermath, he was alerted to the presence of his unarmed associate. He dropped down beside him before shaking his head, "Those kids never stood a chance... I hope my sword didn't get too fucked up from being caught in that explosion."

"You were that reckless to just leave your sword inside of a future demolition site? Are you an idiot or something?" It was almost blasphemous in Jinpachi's eyes. The legendary blades were to be treated as though it were a part of their owner's self.

Or like a newborn baby that is used to assault others in heinous ways. For him to leave it inside, it was just disgusting.

You don't just leave your baby inside of a soon to be pile of rubble, that's just foul.

Maybe he should fight him for that just based on the principle.

Kushimaru grunted at the insinuation before yanking his arm back with considerable force. The ninja wire wrapped around his arm went rigid, prompting Jinpachi to snort sheepishly, "Oh yeah, I forgot about the whole giant ninja sewing needle gimmick. " Okay, his partner wasn't that disrespectful to his sword.

... He still planned to fight him once they got out of dodge since this battle, if you could even call it that, was pretty one sided and disappointing.

After several seconds of vigorous pulling, the two finally saw the sword escape from out of the wreckage, before being pulled into the waiting hands of it's owner. He inspected the blade, looking for any signs of major damage. While all of the legendary blades were noticeably tougher than the average sword, Nuibari being caught in an explosion like that was still something that he should be concerned about since his sword couldn't just regenerate and fix itself like Zabuza's.

Jinpachi peered at his fellow jonin's blade, frowning at the lack of blood that he was seeing, "There's no blood on there. Did you not nab one of the twerps?"

Kushimaru growled before glaring into the burning rubble, "I know for a fact that I got one, impaled him and pinned him to a wall and everything. There's no way that those kids should've survived that..."

The demolition expert sighed before looking up into the nighttime sky, watching the smoke from the burning remains of the building rise up to the heavens. The flames gave the surrounding area a warm, orange glow while the crisp, crackling sounds of various building materials being burned and shifted around provided a nice backdrop to their victorious night. His peaceful reflection was interrupted by the thunder that he heard from above, which made him click his teeth in irritation, "Its about to start storming. We should get a move on, Kushimaru."

The shifting sound got just a little bit louder.

"I still want to make sure that those brats are dead, especially that little mutant fucker in there. How'd Konoha even produce a shinobi with that bloodline? I could've sworn that the Kaguya's were based in Mizu no Kuni, not Hi no Kuni." He had a point, a very interesting point indeed. Too bad the brat wasn't alive anymore, they could've grilled him for some info. After they mutilated the boy enough so that he couldn't pose a threat, of course.

After thinking on the subject for a couple more moments, Kushimaru shrugged and gathered up all of his wire before placing his sword onto his back, "Well, I guess it's time to get back on the road before the hunter nin show up. Move your ass Jinpachi, I'm not about to get stuck in a potential lighting storm. I got enough of getting damn near electrocuted when dealing with Raiga and Ameyuri, I'm no-"

"Doton: Shinjū Zanshu no Jutsu (Earth Style: Groundhog Technique Decapitation)!"

The ground beneath Kushimaru's feet gave way to burned hands forcing their way out of the dirt and latching on to his ankles, surprising him due to the iron grip suddenly stopping him.

"What the fuck?!"

Jinpachi looked on in curiosity, before coming to a stark realization, "The boy with the bloodline! He's still alive!" He gritted his teeth, that kid was supposed to be dead.

Kushimaru tried to shake off the grip before howling in pain as several razor sharp bones stabbed into his ankles, effectively crippling the man. With his foundation for standing being absolutely mauled by the grip, he instantly toppled to the ground in a screaming heap.

"Jinpachi! Kill that little shit!" Kushimaru angrily ordered as the hands relinquished their hold on him and slipped back into the earth. He tried to roll over onto his stomach, but the same hands from earlier wrapped around his hands and neck, filling the man with dread instantly. The last time he was grabbed, he ended up immobilized...

This time...

Jinpachi watched in morbid intrigue as the hands holding his partner's skull did their best impression of a porcupine and flared out numerous jagged bones, causing multiple sounds of Kushimaru's skull being impaled to ring out. The swordsman didn't even stand a chance once the hands got a hold of him.

This genin needed to be killed immediately. One instance of contact between a genin and a seasoned jonin saw the jonin being killed. That ability was far too dangerous to be left unchecked.

Jumping up to a building's roof behind him to avoid the same fate as his fallen comrade, he observed the hands pull the corpse directly into the ground. He let out a heavy growl of anger when he noticed that Nuibari was being pulled as welll, and sought to stop it. Wrapping an explosive tag around the handle of a kunai he retrieved from his kunai pouch, he expertly threw it towards the target area, hoping to halt the process and hopping down immediately onto the ground once he saw the explosion decimate the street.

Once he landed on the ground, he drew his sword and surveyed the immediate vicinity, waiting for his target to show himself. After not seeing any sign of the freak, he struck the ground with his explosive weapon, tearing everything in front of him asunder. Chunks of the land flew freely about, driven through the air by the explosive force. Once the dust settled, Jinpachi was alerted to the telltale sounds of movement in front of him. He looked to see a dirty, bloody Naruto crawling from behind an upturned slab of rock, glaring at him with a large amount of animosity, "You got a fetish for explosions or something?"

Jinpachi smirked confidently at the sight of the boy's obviously mangled leg, "Aren't you just a little too young to know about adult things like that, boy?" Answering a question with a question. Classic way to piss someone off.

Deciding to continue to antagonize the brat, he pointed his sword at his crippled opponent before chuckling, "I'm honestly shocked that you managed to survive that death trap I created for you lot. Judging by the lack of people backing you up, I'm assuming that your pals didn't... weaklings like them weren't gonna live long in this world anyway, I did them a favor by killing them."

At first wanting to inform the bearded man that he was completely wrong, Naruto instead went against it and settled for trying to throw his opponent off, "Hey, before we try to settle this, can I ask you a question?"

Jinpachi took on a pondering expression, taking note of the downpour that was beginning, "I've destroyed your friends, crippled you, and smiled while doing it all. I guess I can grant you this. What is it, brat?"

"Can I braid your beard? Like I know it's already braided into two different ones, but I just wanna turn it into one big super braid! So how about it?"

...

...

"You chose to ask me that for your last words?" He shook his head in a disappointed manner before laughing grimly, "I'll admit, I didn't see it coming." Jinpachi tightened his grip on the handle of his weapon before preparing to down his adversary. Charging at the injured jinchuuriki, he had to take a pause when two things happened that he wasn't prepared for.

One, the child's leg fixed itself with a rather disturbing sound of bones snapping into place.

Two, the regenerative genin smiled before propping himself onto his knees, aiming his fingers at the previously advancing rogue shinobi, "Tenshi Sendan (Ten Finger Drilling Bullets)!"

Jinpachi grunted as he sought to dodge the oncoming projectiles. He got grazed by one travelling too close to his face, before deflecting the rest with his peculiar weapon, "Cheeky little shit. You're going to die tonight!" He was interrupted mid threat by Naruto flinging himself at the swordsman, reaching out with open hands primed to maul any piece of his body that the dangerous ninja touched. Jinpachi leaned back to avoid the blond's hands while simultaneously responding with a harsh kick to his sternum, sending him flying through a building to their right.

Not wanting to give the boy a chance to retreat and surprise him again, Jinpachi instantly pursued his opponent through the newly made hole created by Naruto. Jinpachi whistled at the fact that he kicked the child hard enough to send him completely through a building. He didn't know his own strength.

He saw the boy get taken out of his flight pattern by a sturdy railing at the other side of the street. The jinchuuriki's back impacted the railing with a loud bang, creating a dent within the surprisingly sturdy metal.

Naruto bit back yet another scream of pain as he tried to regain his bearings. He could've sworn that he got hit by Orochimaru, he hasn't been hit that hard since he came to Konoha. He knew for a fact that that kick shattered a couple of ribs and probably seriously damaged a few internal organs. Vision swimming, he violently coughed up a large sum of blood once he tried to take a deep breath.

Guess it was safe to assume that at least one of his lungs were probably punctured by his ribs.

This guy was a different breed of shinobi. Trying to get himself situated, Naruto leaned forward off of the the railing and doubled over, clutching his chest before realizing that the older ninja was directly in front of him.

"No breaks for you."

With a savage grin, Jinpachi drove a devastating knee directly into Naruto's face, sending him flying over the railing and into the massive river that divided the village. The poor boy smacked the water with his body hard, causing a large pillar to shoot up into the air.

Naruto's vision began to become hazy from the beating that he was receiving. Despite the fact that Naruto had what could be considered an anti taijutsu kekkei genkai, it was becoming begrudgingly clear to him that the swordsman was easily able to circumvent it and beat him at his own game. Any attempts that he made to get close to the Kiri ninja saw him being blown back by either that sword, which negated his advantage in hand to hand combat, or the more skilled opponent simply driving him back with a combination of quick, devastating taijutsu counters and his ridiculous strength. All of the damage that he took throughout the night was taking it's toll on the Konoha genin, as he was feeling the sensation of unconsciousness overcome him. Everything on the outside, the booming thunder and heavy rainfall, the sounds of the water falling from the sky attempting to extinguish the roaring flames still burning, and the sizzling of explosive tags floating down above him, all of these sounds were becoming more and more muffled...

Naruto's eyes shot open immediately as soon as he truly recognized the sizzling noises, "FUUU-"

The river was disturbed by a massive explosion that shot Naruto straight to the bottom of the river. Jinpachi smirked at the results that he saw. Propping a foot onto the railing that he kicked the boy over, he then let out another satisfied sigh, "I'll give you that, you were one tough nut to crack. Too bad that having a borderline indestructible skeleton can't save you from drowning." Feeling that his business was completely done here, he promptly turned around to go back and retrieve Nuibari from the destroyed street he left it at. He just hoped that he didn't mess it up too bad with all of his attacks.

Naruto blinked in and out of consciousness. That latest attack did a number on him, completely messing up several of his internal organs.

He floated back up to the top of the water eventually though, completely knocked out. Rain fell onto his already soaked face as he floated there, thoroughly battered and beaten. Several minutes passed before a deep, baritone voice sounded out in the back of Naruto's mind, " **Pathetic. Even with your little precious bloodline, you still managed to lose. If it weren't for me, you would have died a long time ago, child.** "

Being stirred out of his unfortunate slumber, Naruto painfully opened his eyes, cringing at the bright flash of lightning arc throughout the cloudy, bleak sky before speaking out loud, "Wh-Who said that?" That came out of nowhere.

" **Be silent and hear my words, child. I am going to give you enough energy to go kill that man. However, this power will not come without a price, but we can discuss that later.** "

Hmm. Creepy, sell your soul to the devil type deal? As much as Naruto hated the idea of losing, a deep voice presenting an opportunity like that wasn't a complete seller for him.

"What if I don't want your power, bodiless deep voice? And how many times have you gone through puberty to get a voice that deep?"

...

...

" **It's either take my power, go kill that weakling that almost killed you three times in one night, and make sure that your two comrades made it to the boat, or stay in this river until you naturally heal from all of your injuries. I'd suggest you make a quick decision before that man leaves the area. Time's ticking.** " The voice refused to answer that idiotic second question.

The voice reminded him of his friends, and concern for them instantly made him come to a quick decision. He just hoped that Shikamaru didn't bleed out before they managed to get back to the mainland.

X.X.X.

(Konoha, Hokage Tower)

Asuma Sarutobi nervously exhaled another puff of smoke from his faithful cancer stick as he stood alongside Kakashi Hatake, who was doing better at hiding his nervousness by donning his usual mask of pure detachment. The two wore the traditional Konoha shinobi outfit that consisted of black long sleeved shirts and matching pants, with the padded, trusty, forest green flak jackets. Aside from their outfits, their unique appearances stood out. Asuma had tan skin, short, black, spiky hair, and a beard while Kakashi the masked wonder had gravity defying grey hair, a lazy demeanor, and his headband covering his left eye, giving him a cyclops aesthetic.

Kakashi looked towards the door that led to the Hokage's office before shivering, "I wonder what's causing all of that killing intent to fly around..."

Asuma nodded in grim agreeance, "Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure it's something not too dangerous or life threatening since the building hasn't turned into a battlefield by now. Not something we should be concerned about." Asuma hasn't felt his dad be that intense since their argument over him leaving the village to go work under the Daimyo.

"You're probably right. It's nothing that Hokage-sama can't handle himself. He does need to tone down the power he's letting out all willy nilly though, his poor receptionist just passed out..."

The two looked down the stairs where all of the screaming was originating from, "Oh Kami, she just fell out!"

"Hokage-sama is too old to be flaring all of that intent for no good reason!"

"Somebody get him to stop! We just got word from the academy that they feel it too, and it's causing some of the kids to pass out as well!"

Damn, it was that potent and far reaching? At least there couldn't be any doubt that his power has waned in his old age.

"Sheesh. The old man must really be pissed..." Understatement of the year.

X.X.X.

(In The Room)

"You really must be a fool Hiruzen."

"Remind yourself of who it is that you are speaking to, Danzo." Hiruzen said calmly, ignoring the fact that the two ancient warriors were flaring enough killing intent at each other to turn a lesser man insanse just from the sheer power. It's been this way for the past thirty minutes, and it didn't seem like it was going to cease and desist anytime soon.

As soon as Danzo caught wind of the fact that not only Naruto was granted permission to leave the village, but also had the last Uchiha and the Nara clan heir with him on his, in Danzo's eyes, unnecessary trip, he immediately barged into the Hokage's office. Since his arrival, he's been dealing with the foolish ideals of his old friend and his reasoning behind letting one of the village's most important assets roam about in search of something that related to his extinct clan.

Danzo gritted his teeth before trying to convince the stubborn monkey on why this was a terrible idea, "Do you not see the error of your ways, Hiruzen? This little journey that he took could spell nothing but trouble for either him or the other two clan heirs he's travelling with." It really wasn't something that Hiruzen should have allowed at all. Damn him and his bleeding heart nature, it was highly irritating.

Hiruzen merely fixed a calm smile on his face, while never lowering his resolve or power output, "Danzo, think about what that boy has been through. His whole childhood he went without knowing who he truly was. Now he had a chance to go out and learn about part of his heritage... we can give the poor child that much."

Danzo didn't share the sympathetic sentiments, "He is not some mere child that you can coddle and comfort as you please, Hiruzen. The Uzumaki clan has been basically extinct since the last war... surely you don't expect the boy to come back with anything substantial to satisfy his hunger for information on his clan." What could he possibly bring back? A pile of rubble hiding some special Uzumaki seals?

Highly unlikely.

Before Hiruzen could reply, Danzo continued to present his argument, "I honestly cannot fathom what logical reasoning you have behind this choice of action. You really let the child of the Yondaime, who was kidnapped by one of the village's most notorious missing nin and held captive for the first seven years of his life. Now through a stroke of luck, your wayward student managed to come across the jinchuuriki and bring him back to the village... then you let him run wild the moment he becomes an official genin. Please help me see how this was a wise decision, or how this benefits the village in any shape or form."

Hiruzen snorted with disdain, clearly showing disgust at that reminder of the incident.

"... I'm failing to see how that snort helps your argument, my friend. Maybe you are becoming senile."

"Danzo, think not as a cold, calculating shinobi, but as a human being with compassion..." The Hokage began, only to be interrupted by Danzo yet again.

"Compassion won't save the jinchuuriki if he comes across something on the trip. That is yet another point, what if an underling aligned to Orochimaru happens to cross paths with the the jinchuuriki? We both know, despite your idiotic decision to place the boy in the academy, that the child is above the rest of his peers as of now in skill level, but surely you see where I'm going with this, Hiruzen." Three fresh genin, with one being the village's jinchuuriki, with the other two being important clan heirs, just roaming about in search of ruins? Without a higher level shinobi watching over them?

That was just a recipe for disaster.

"So what would you suggest that I have done, Danzo? And do by mindful that you will never get Naruto under your wing, so any response that revolves around that will be rendered a moot point."

The bandaged veteran simply steeled his features, "Simple. I would have kept the asset within the village in order to avoid any chance of him being recaptured by those who wish to take the boy for themselves. He would be safe in the village walls, Hiruzen."

"So you want to keep Naruto out of harm's way, correct?"

"Yes."

"By keeping him in the village under our watchful gazes..."

"Yes."

"Wouldn't that be coddling Naruto like a mere child, my old friend?" Hiruzen replied with a shit eating smirk on his visage.

Letting out a weary sigh while knowing that he was not able to win this argument at the moment, Danzo decided to throw one more verbal jab before throwing in the towel, "At the very least, you could've sent an elite jonin with the children and the asset, but your waning wisdom prevented you from doing that."

"His name is Naruto Danzo, not asset. It would be in your best interests to remember to refer to the boy as a human being, not some disposable tool when you are in my presence. Are we clear?"

The warhawk decided to humor the Kage with a grunt of affirmation.

"Good. Now then, Naruto-kun is strong enough to handle any obstacle thrown their way, there's no need for somebody to go along and babysit them. Besides, they're travelling towards Uzushiogakure, the chance of them running into any sorts of danger that may be out of their league is significantly low."

Danzo merely shook his head sadly, almost feeling bad for his friend. His poor judgement was proving to be detrimental to the village with the unnecessary risk that he was taking.

... On the other side, this also proved beneficial for Danzo's plans. He just hoped that the Root ninja that he sent to prevent the jinchuuriki from being taken didn't fail. Failure was not an option under him.

X.X.X

(With Sasuke and Shikamaru)

Sasuke ran as fast as he could through the thick vegetation while keeping Shikamaru propped up on his shoulder, doing his best to avoid dropping the unconscious Nara. The rain pelted his skin furiously as he looked to his right to check on Shikamaru, "Shit, he's looking really pale..." Sasuke commented as he took note of the boy's skin color. That blood loss was making things more and more bad.

Gritting his teeth, Sasuke cringed when his left shoulder flared up, feeling the pain of his dislocated limb cause him to momentarily stumble. Blowing a hole through a wall with a fire ball just to jump out of it with Shikamaru on his back was the best route to go with at that time, yet now he was at a disadvantage. This pain had him seeing double and tripping over his own two feet at a frequency that he was not comfortable with at all. The booming thunder that echoed throughout the sky wasn't doing any good for his headache either.

Not how he saw this while trip panning out at all.

Growling in frustration after alternating between running and stumbling for another ten minutes, Sasuke let out a yell once he got clipped in the back of the leg by a kunai from behind. He was sent to the ground in agony, with Shikamaru falling as well.

Grabbing his injured leg, he looked behind him to see the swordsman with the beard from earlier standing a good 20 feet away grinning maliciously, "So you kids didn't die. Shame, I underestimated you all... at least I can finish what I started now."

He then proceeded to saturate the area in an uncomfortable amount of killing intent, freezing Sasuke in place. This malicious presence shook Sasuke to his very core. He could swear on his dead family that he saw his death before him, taking form as the dangerous shinobi who started to walk towards the downed Uchiha.

Jinpachi's smile grew even wider as he stalked towards Sasuke, swinging his oversized blade in a jovial manner, "I couldn't mutilate your little mutant friend the way I wanted to since I had to send him to the bottom of the river that runs through the village, so I guess I'll just have to start with one of you." His eyes switched back and forth between Shikamaru and Sasuke, before settling on Shikamaru, "Might as well get the unconscious one out of the way first. I like to save the best screams for last. You just wait your turn, boy."

Sasuke's eyes widened as he realized what the man's intentions were before he managed to stand up on shaky knees, glaring at the potential mutilator, "No, I won't let you!" He already lost his family, he refused to lose a friend without trying his hardest to prevent it.

Fighting through the pain, Sasuke growled in a determined manner before flying through hand seals, "Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu (Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)!"

The sizeable fireball sped towards Jinpachi, who was slightly impressed by the boy's courage to go down swinging. Despite the fact that being hit with a fireball directly would turn something primarily composed of flesh into a crispy cadaver, the rogue didn't stop his stroll, instead opting to start completing seals of his own, "Suiton: Suijinheki (Water Style: Water Wall)!" The rain falling that drenched all of those present seemed to gain a form of sentience before rushing to form a massive wall in front of the swordsman, easily stopping the fireball dead in it's tracks.

The clashing jutsu ended up creating a small mist to cover the area, causing Jinpachi to cackle in glee like his fallen partner, "I know this is a redundant tip since you're not going to be alive come morning, but know this. A true shinobi knows how to use their opponent's strengths against them in order to turn the tide of the battle... not that this little squabble needed anything like that anyway. Before I kill you kid, let's have a quick lesson." Jinpachi then swung his sword harshly into a tree to the side of him, embedding the explosive blade into the bark before hopping up onto the handle. He casted a menacing smile towards the raven haired boy before explaining his earlier statement, "Quick question, what are Mizu shinobi known for? I'll give you a hint, the visibility around here is getting more and more worse for you..."

Sasuke frowned at the fact that the mist was beginning to become thicker. His fireball attack, which was his strongest attack at the moment, did nothing to his opponent. Hell, all it did was cause the bastard to lower his guard and try to become Iruka-sensei 2.0 with all of this lesson talk. Plus it made this unnecessary mist come out of nowhere, which was lowering the visibility.

Knowing that the man was waiting for an answer, Sasuke shifted through his memories in search of anything related to Mizu shinobi tactics. It was nothing to remember the lesson that Iruka-sensei gave on the basics of the differing villages and the average battle styles that each used.

Konoha shinobi had natural affinities towards fire due to their orgins in Hi no Kuni and loved guerilla warfare and trees. And almighty logs, they were life savers.

Suna had that complete the mission or battle using any and everything available mentality. Puppets and fans were unique to the shinobi that dwell within the unforgiving desert.

Kumo shinobi were obviously well versed within the art of using lighting based chakra to fry their opponents to death.

Iwa's shinobi were, surprise surprise, skilled with earth based techniques.

Kiri ninja have a propensity for being downright savage in their battles, which is one of the reasons why they proudly own the nickname Bloody Mist. In addition to that, there's a lot of high level water users, plus their stealth skills when it comes to being hidden in the various mists that naturally cover the country was absolutely dangerous in a heated confrontation.

Mist... shit! He switched the battlefield to one that supplemented his abilities just by countering Sasuke's last ditch attempt?

The combat experience found in the jonin was not something to be taken lightly.

Relishing in the look of fearful realization that crept onto the future corpse's face, Jinpachi sneered at the child before laughing, wiping some of the rain off of his face, "I see you found your answer, my boy! Now that you know how you're gonna die after I'm done with your little friend over there, I'll let you sit there and marinate on the fact that you've had a crappy night kid."

With that said, Sasuke watched in horror as the mist seemed to thicken even more around the swordsman, as if assisting the man in purposely unnerving the Uchiha. The mist crept around his body in a dramatic manner, starting from his legs before slowly ascending towards the top of his body. Right before the mist fully hid him, Jinpachi waved his hand over his face in a manner akin to a magician, "Now you see me..."

A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, momentarily illuminating the clearing that they were in. For some reason, Sasuke's vision felt clearer to him once that lighting flashed, as he was able to pick up several vague figures within the mist all rushing towards Jinpachi. The sudden natural light faded away, followed by a rumble of ominous thunder and the sounds of multiple blades being released from their respective sheaths.

Wait, Jinpachi's sword was already out... who were the newcomers?

Not wanting to stand still and make himself an easy target in case somebody was aiming for him, he rolled painfully towards the spot where he saw Shikamaru fall earlier. His heart dropped in his chest when he realized that his injured ally was nowhere to be found. The sounds of battle behind him grew louder and louder, with an explosion letting him know that the skirmish behind him was getting serious.

He crawled to the base of a rather large tree, using the mist as cover to avoid anyone trying to kill him. This wasn't the kind of fight he was itching for earlier, this was a literal life or death situation. With a dislocated shoulder and a wounded leg, there wasn't much he could do against anybody who really wanted to kill him. It was hard to admit, but he knew he was outclassed here. He just hoped that the mystery faction of people that came to party in the jungle with them weren't here to kill him too.

He leaned against the tree and tried to peer through the mist, shaking his head when his vision was filled with the sight of different forms of blue streams that created silhouettes of people. Was this... chakra that he was seeing?

He was confused at how he was suddenly seeing all of this, and even more baffled at the fact that he was still alive.

BOOM!

Another flare of chakra that took the shape of an explosion immediately grabbed Sasuke's attention, alerting him to a dismembered body speeding away from the dangerous detonation before impacting the tree above him. He instinctively leaned forward to avoid the human projectile hitting his head, preferring to not let his throbbing headache get any worse.

Sasuke took note of the cadaver's appearance. The body was missing both of it's arms, which seemed to have been blown off. The torso had a large, disturbing gash going horizontally across the chest that oozed copious amounts of blood, drenching the body's short, black, midriff jacket. This wasn't Sasuke's first time seeing death, but he'd be a liar if he said that he wasn't scared shitless at this point. That man with that explosive sword apparently managed to kill Naruto, and was now decimating the unknown shinobi that almost sneak attacked him.

He was shaken out of his fearful thoughts as a firm hand grabbed him by the shoulder and lifted him up, yanking him away from the ongoing slaughter. Panic setting in, Sasuke attempted to stab the offending hand, only to stop at the monotone voice advising him not to, "There is no need for that, Uchiha-san. We are not here to harm you, Nara-san, or Uzumaki-san. Our prerogative is to prevent any casualties and to get you three back to Konoha safely."

"The Hokage sent you?"

"Higher ups from our village authorized our mission."

"Well, I think that that mission won't be a complete success..."

"What do you mean?" Despite the bland, emotionless tone that the man used, Sasuke somehow got the feeling that the question was more of a command, and didn't want to upset his enigmatic savoir, "Shikamaru Nara was just behind me, yet I don't see his body anywhere."

"Our medic-nin relocated Nara-san away from the fight in order to properly heal him. I'm taking you to them now so that we may heal any injuries you may have sustained." This filled Sasuke with a momentary sense of relief. Anybody willing to assist him and his friends tonight was okay with him.

"Uchiha-san, where is Uzumaki-san?"

Sasuke stopped in his tracks once he registered another malevolent presence coming straight towards the area that they were in. Jinpachi had a pretty nasty aura about him, but the amount of bloodlust coming towards him made the swordsman look absolutely pitiful in comparison. The amount of chakra he was seeing was ridiculous, as there were multiple sources of it rapidly approaching.

Why was it red?

"Wh-What is that?"

The unknown shinobi gazed at the oncoming sources of the vile chakra, instantly knowing who it was, "Uchiha-san, that is Uzumaki-san. If this situation was not dangerous before, the danger has instantly doubled due to the power he is using." The rogue swordsman must've pushed the jinchuuriki to his absolute limit.

The mysterious shinobi picked Sasuke up before leaping into a tree nearby, taking the injured heir out of the future blood bath. Sasuke looked on in surprise as they landed beside the medic-nin and Shikamaru.

"Is Naruto that dangerous now that he has that orange chakra circulating through him?" Sasuke inquired in disbelief as he continued to wonder why he could suddenly see the blond's chakra.

Now that they were out of the mist, Sasuke noticed that his savoir and the resident medic had clothes exactly the same as the dead ninja that almost smushed his head against a tree trunk earlier. In addition to sharing a closet, they also had blank, white, porcelain masks, somewhat similar to Anbu ninjas from Konoha.

Once he came to his conclusions, Sasuke hobbled over to the medic with quite a bit of effort before unceremoniously dropping himself onto the branch, "How's Shikamaru looking?"

The medic took a pause from healing the Nara to cast a momentary glance at the visibly exhausted Uchiha before replying, "His condition is stabilizing. Earlier, the large amounts of blood that he was losing was on the verge of killing him. I gave him a blood pill, a soldier pill, and healed the stab wound and any other damage present. He isn't in a combat ready state, but at the very least he is no longer absolute dead weight."

"Good. Can you heal me now?"

"Certainly."

Thank Kami that these ninja came, otherwise this night would've turned out a lot worse. He only hoped that Naruto didn't die while fighting that swordsman...

X.X.X

(With Naruto)

"Shut up."

" **Too bad that the rain will probably wash all of the blood that you might get covered in away, the soaking in the blood of your enemies part always makes me feel all tingly inside."**

"Shut up."

" **Since I can now experience the world through your senses, would it be too much to ask you to eat that bearded one afterwards?"**

"Why in the actual hell would you even bother to think that I'd go along with that request?"

 **"Because you're a sickeningly selfless child who puts the wants of others first? Come on, throw me a bone here! I haven't gotten to savor the taste of blood, flesh, and defeat in a long time... surely you want to help me out."**

"Yeah... no."

While speeding through the dense, soaked foliage with his legion of Kyuubi enhanced doppelgangers, Naruto somehow got the mental image of the giant fox in his head shrugging it's shoulders before flashing an eager grin, " **You'll need more of my chakra before the night's over. Once I give you enough, you'll lose control over your actions and you'll be subject to my influence. Hope you like the taste of blood, flesh, and whatever else we'll eat. Try not to die yet, meatbag."** With that said, the gargantuan biju ceased his harassment, letting Naruto finally have some piece and quiet on the inside.

Another clone popped up beside him before running alongside him, speaking with a slightly more guttural voice than usual, "How do we know where he is, boss?" Naruto furrowed his brows at that question, as he didn't know himself. Ever since the Kyuubi gave him a bit of extra juice and healed all of his injuries, he had the subtle ability to sense killing intent. He instantly honed in on where the bastard was due to the amount he was putting out into the universe, yet he didn't know how. When he asked the Kyuubi, the asshole just said nothing.

Once he left some clones behind to scour the village for anything important they could find, he created even more clones to chase down the bearded rogue.

Naruto answered the clone's question, "To be honest, no clue. Just know that we're not stopping until he's dead." He'd be damned if that dickhead gets away with trying to bury them in a building, crushing him while he was underground, and hitting him with enough explosives to make a certain blond haired bomber proud.

After five minutes of speedy jungle parkour, Naruto felt the signature that he wanted fighting more signatures. From the looks of things, Jinpachi was easily holding his own against the group's assault on him due to the mist aiding him and his sheer combat ability. Wanting to see the man dead, Naruto leapt up into a tree in order to get an angle on his target before springing off of the branch he landed on, flipping through the air to take the man off of his feet with a hearty, bone filled tackle.

Jinpachi parried yet another pathetic attempt to slash at him before driving a devastating punch into the offending masked nin's face, actually managing to crack the mask. The poor fool flew backwards, giving Jinpachi enough time to register the large amount of malice flying through the air towards him. He turned around with a swift roundhouse kick and planted it dead into Naruto's jaw, the force of the blow causing a large crack sound to ring out, signifying Naruto's jaw being broken.

The jinchuuriki spun in air from the meaty kick, leaving him open to a follow up attempt to bisect him, "Should've just stayed dead brat!" Jinpachi swung his sword directly at Naruto's midsection, only to click his teeth at another blond rushing out of a bush nearby before pushing Naruto out of the way and taking the deadly slash itself. The real jinchuuriki righted himself in mid air before sticking to a tree nearby with chakra. He leveled a red eyed, bestial glare onto his adversary, complete with slit pupils and glowing eyes, before popping his jaw back into place with loud popping noises.

Testing his jaw out, he spat out several teeth that the kick moved out of place, "I got a bone to pick with you."

Jinpachi went wide eyed at that statement. Before he could respond to that, another voice from up higher beat him to it, "Now's not the time for terrible puns, dobe!"

"I didn't mean it as a pun, shut up!" Damn it, badass one liner moment ruined all because of Sasuke... at least he was still alive.

Jinpachi chuckled as he noticed the amount of clones fill the clearing, "Your friend is right, that was a pretty terrible pun, kid." He took note of Naruto's new feral appearance, which included red eyes, wild hair, defined whisker marks, and extended nails, before coming to a realization, "Its not every day I get to maim a jinchuuriki with a mutation as vicious as yours."

"Not everyday I meet somebody with two braids in their beard."

"Not very good in shit talking, are you kid?"

"Shut up and die!" All of the clones jumped towards the swordsman, hands and feet primed with numerous, sharp, protruding bones. He was going to die tonight, there was no other alternative available to him.

Grinning at the oncoming attack, the missing nin allowed another fresh roll of explosives to encompass him in a protective cylinder, with all of the explosive pieces of paper facing all of the clones, "No matter how many of you there are, you still need to touch me to do damage! If I take that away, what else can you do? Bakutō Jutsu: Happa Rokujūshi

(Blastsword Technique: Blasting Bridle Repeating Death)!" The clone brigade stood no chance against the multiple blasts that destroyed them all. The real Naruto flew back and impacted a tree, saved from any major damage by two clones that pushed him back at the last second. He glared at the plume of smoke before creating another dozen or several clones, "That man doesn't leave this island alive!"

With cries of courageous acknowledgement, the clones all spread out before taking aim with their respective hands, "Tenshi Sendan (Ten Finger Drilling Bullets)!" A myriad of small but deadly bone projectiles peppered the ground where Jinpachi was last seen, sending bits and pieces of wet dirt and water droplets everywhere. After the firing squad ceased unloading their payload, everyone looked on to see what were the results of their coordinated attack.

"Does anybody see him?"

"No, don't tell me he got away..."

"Fuck!"

"Wait you guys, look!"

All of the onlookers noticed a hunched over silhouette emerge from the smoke, before growling, "You're really starting to get on my nerves, you little shit!"

Jinpachi didn't get out of that last attack scot free, as his shirt and pants were in tatters due to the amount of bullets that came for him. His killing intent was so high that it was almost able to match Naruto's Kyuubi enhanced intent.

Almost.

"How is he not lunch meat by now?" A clone asked, bewildered at the fact that the rogue was still standing.

"Look at his feet, there's a large amount of water surrounding him. He probably used a water wall or something to avoid a majority of them." A more analytical clone pointed out. Sure enough, they all looked to see the ground surrounding the man covered in a noticeable amount of water and bone bullets. Damn him and his superb defense.

"I'm done playing with you boy, I'm going to kill you, your friends, these masked, trash, Anbu! Hell, I might as well go to Konoha and see how many of you little tree huggers I can kill!" A clone decided to interrupt his rage induced rant by charging at him, only for Jinpachi to rush forward with speed that nobody has seen him use all night to cut the poor clone's head off before slapping an explosive note onto the body and kicking it towards the rest of them. Once the explosion took out a good portion of them, Jinpachi sped through hand seals, "Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Technique)!" Once again, the heavy downpour answered the water user's call before shaping itself into a massive dragon. Jinpachi jumped onto the watery construct and crouched down, "I hope you're prepared to die this time!" Without further fanfare, the dragon tore through the opposing clone's, toppling over trees and sending water everywhere.

Sasuke, Shikamaru, and the medic nin and other ninja had to relocate to a different branch once their tree fell victim to the attack. Once they landed, Sasuke asked a question, "Why aren't you helping the dobe?" If they came to assist and prevent harm from befalling anyone, they should be down there.

The Anbu responded in yet another monotone manner, "That is classified, Uchiha-san." Classified his ass, that was his friend down there! He needed help!

Sasuke turned to the medic with an intense look on his face, "Heal my leg and shoulder right now! If you're going to sit here and watch him get thrown around, then do that. I'm not going to do the same." The medic looked into Sasuke's eyes, "Please refrain from trying to cast any genjutsu on me, Uchiha-san. I am not your enemy."

What? Sasuke didn't even know any genjutsu, what the hell was he talking about?

Before the last Uchiha could question that previous statement, the sound of roaring water below them made everyone look down to see the water dragon speed off in another direction, with Jinpachi on the end of it trailing numerous explosive tags, "Pray that we never meet again, boys! Next time, you will die!" Once he said that, he willed all of the explosive pieces of paper to erupt in a spectacular, earth shaking fashion. No tree within range of the trail was safe as everything toppled over due to the mammoth explosions that were visible well above the canopy line.

The Anbu grabbed Sasuke while the medic secured Shikamaru before trying to relocate while avoiding falling trees and branches. They eventually settled for a tree that wasn't near ground zero, with Naruto landing on it shortly after.

"Fuck, he got away! Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Naruto angrily roared as he battered the tree he was standing on in frustration.

Sasuke looked at the blond once he was done venting out his frustrations, observing the crimson chakra flow within and outside of the boy. The fact that he could see the regular blue chakra intermingled with the reddish chakra was still a shock to him.

Naruto turned around to gaze upon his friends, raising an eyebrow once he looked into Sasuke's eyes, "Nice red eyes, teme."

"Red eyes? You're the one with red eyes." The intensity he felt originate from Naruto's gaze was unnerving. He knew that the boy wouldn't harm him, but that killing intent from earlier was still blaring full force.

Naruto shrugged, "You got em, too. Only difference is mine are slitted, yours look like a Sharingan." Naruto then facepalmed at the fact that he forgot what he was looking at. Those blows to the head must've been fucking with him heavily.

Sasuke visibly recoiled before hopping up on his good leg in order to look into Naruto's headband. Naruto backed away at the sudden closeness, "I know we're close friends, but I don't swing that way man. Give me something else than a kiss, like some cool Uchiha jutsu scrolls."

"Shut it, dobe! I'm trying to see my eyes!" Once Naruto stopped moving, Sasuke caught a sight that caused his heart to skip a beat. His eyes had two tomoe in them, while his crimson ocular orbs proudly shined.

"Your eyes are glowing, that's pretty cool. Hope you don't think that you're better than me, cause mine glows too!" Naruto exclaimed, beaming with happiness for his friend. He finally unlocked part of his heritage, good for him.

Sasuke backed up before flashing a confident smirk, "Next time, I won't be on the sidelines. If we're gonna do something this suicidal again, we're doing it side by side."

"Right! We'll all be there to get our asses kicked together, Shikamaru included! Right, Shikamaru?"

...

...

"He's still unconscious, you idiot."

"I'll take that silence as a yes."

"Boss, we're back with good news!"

"And a dead body!"

Sasuke had a look that could best be described as a "what the fuck" face, "A dead body?"

Naruto suddenly remembered what happened earlier, "Oh yeah, I didn't lose completely tonight! I got the other guy that stabbed Shikamaru, that's the dead body that they were talking about."

Both Sasuke and the two Anbu looked on in surprise as several clones landed on the branch beside them, thoroughly drenched. Four of them approached Naruto with scrolls of various sizes, with the largest one being the size of Sasuke himself, "We found stuff about Uzumaki style sealing, jutsus, fighting styles, and training exercises. We also managed to grab that Kushimaru dude's corpse out of the ground, so we brought that too." The clone said with the Sasuke sized scroll, gesturing to the remaining clones in the back hoisting up the deceased swordsman proudly. Naruto beamed with even more pride at his clones, happy that the trip was actually successful.

The Anbu took note of everything that transpired before thinking to himself, " _Danzo-sama will definitely need to know about this, the jinchuuriki is growing in power at a rapid rate."_ Things were getting interesting, and his master would readily agree with him once they got back to the village.

X.X.X.

 **And I'm back. Sorry guys, the updates will be slower since I'm back in school. Add on to the fact that I'll be working soon, and you can tell that there won't be a specific update schedule.**

 **But look! Plot advancement! Naruto's first fight! Sasuke unlocking his Sharingan earlier than in canon! Explosions!**

 **While writing this chapter, I had the greatest idea on what I could do for Naruto's new jutsus and skills to make him unique. He'll be working on it once he gets back to the village. If ANYONE ELSE HAD THIS IDEA, I'LL BE VERY UPSET.**

 **But yeah, see you guys next time. Read and review guys, tell me how you liked my first attempt at an action packed chapter. Give me tips so I could improve my writing skills. I'm out.**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto right now, I'd drop out of school, teach myself investment skills, and learn how to get my money to make even more money. Too bad I don't though... unless Kishimoto wants to be generous...

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 6: Dun Dun Dun**

 **X.X.X**

(Three Days Later, Konohagakure)

Sasuke couldn't help but inch away slowly from the blond sitting next to him in the slowest way possible, similar to how a animal being sized up by a predator tries to creep away before getting devoured. The malicious aura that Naruto was radiating was absolutely unbearable, as it was taking all of Sasuke's willpower not to just roll over and pass out. Hell, just being in the presence of him was making the Uchiha hear all sorts of various, unpleasant voices.

" _ **Slaughter everything!"**_

 _ **"Kill! Kill! Kill!"**_

 _ **"Die for me!"**_

Sasuke shook his head vehemently, trying to rid himself of these thoughts. Unfortunately, they seemed to be hell bent on driving him insane, which was not doing anything good for the Uchiha. Was the hallucination getting stronger or something, because he could swear that the voices were steadily increasing in volume.

Deciding that he had enough of the malicious whispers, Sasuke increased the distance between the two as subtly as he could. If he could just reach the edge of the branch that they were sitting on, he could probably make up an excuse or something to leave.

Two more feet...

One and a half of a foot to go...

Almost there...

Finally!

"Hey Sasuke, where you going?" Shit. Shit. Shit.

Kami, this wasn't how things were supposed to go. Knowing that he was caught in the act, Sasuke decided to steel his nerves and face the music, "I'm just leaving. That shouldn't be a problem."

On the opposite end of the branch, Naruto turned his body towards Sasuke. After staring at Sasuke for a good five minutes, Naruto tilted his head in an inquisitive manner, smiling in what he believed to be a warm, friendly way.

To Sasuke however, that smile was absolutely terrifying. If the whole, 'walking bloodlust incarnate' vibe wasn't already unsettling enough, that downright evil smile just cranked the knob up all the way past the point of no return. It just emitted this massive feeling of absolute death, a feeling that was making Sasuke question his friendship with the jinchuuriki.

Still smiling, Naruto jumped up onto his feet before casually strolling towards the obviously terrified Uchiha. Sasuke could swear that this was a reenactment of that night where Jinpachi did the exact same thing, complete with the feeling that death was approaching him at a leisurely pace, "Why you leaving so soon, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, steadily increasing the distance between the two. When did he manage to get this close? Sasuke was staring at him the whole time, never breaking eye contact with those crimson orbs.

"I'm bored, and sitting on a branch under the moonlight isn't something that screams fun to me." Hopefully he took that as a good enough reason. He dressed it up in the traditional dickhead Sasuke way and everything, so that should do the trick.

Unfortunately for him, Naruto frowned at his reasoning before shrugging his shoulders, "You're right. I'll tag along with you instead of sitting out here. Where are we heading to?" Damn it, that was his cue to go off and do dobe things, not try to keep the nonexistent fun rolling.

Sasuke tried to save face and kept his asshole routine in play, hoping that he was doing a sufficient job at hiding his fear of the blond who was now standing directly in front of him, "I don't know where you're heading to, but I'm going home."

"Party at your house then." Was Sasuke really messed up from the hallucinating or did Naruto's voice have a challenging tone to it, daring Sasuke to go against anything he said? There was even a glint of challenge evident within the boy's eyes, so that idea wasn't that farfetched. Taking a heavy gulp before leaping off of the branch, the last loyal member of the Uchiha clan decided to forgo the back and forth of trying to subtly convince Naruto not to go stick around and opted to put some distance between the two the good old fashioned way.

By running like a bat out of hell.

"Don't run away, come back!" Naruto's wishes fell on deaf ears as Sasuke hauled ass, determined to get out of the woods. On his speedy journey away from the source of overbearing bloodlust, he came across Shikamaru sitting in a tree branch. Stopping on the branch, he crouched down beside the Nara, curious about the reasoning behind him being out here, "Shikamaru, why are you out here?"

The questioned party cautiously looked around their surroundings before answering, "Hiding..."

"From?"

"What do you think?"

"Naruto?"

"No. Why would I be hiding from him? Are you?"

"More like running away from him. You don't feel that oppressive killing intent flying about?" The intent was super potent, and if Shikamaru couldn't register that then maybe the life of a shinobi wasn't the life meant for the sloth.

Shikamaru showed a visible amount of shock towards that, "Thats Naruto? Shit, I thought it was my mom on the warpath."

Sasuke sweatdropped at that comment, shaking his head in a minute amount of amusement. Well, at least the main cause of Shikamaru hiding in the woods was now out in the open. Sasuke looked at Shikamaru with a serious gaze, letting him know that the situation was highly serious, "Is it me or has Naruto been a little off ever since we got back? Like, more edgy, more prone to trying to fight any of us, more disturbing."

Shikamaru frowned in thought as he recalled any differences in their friend's behavior. Once they got back, Naruto's good mood was brought down by various sources located within the village.

Pretty much every girl that knew of Sasuke blamed him for Sasuke's injuries that he sustained on the trip.

Shinobi and civilians alike who worshipped the very ground that Sasuke walked on constantly blamed him as well, even going so far as to describe him as a negative influence on the Uchiha.

Due to his usage of that foul red chakra somehow getting out into the public, people have started refer to him as the demon incarnate in passing, causing a large amount of confusion amongst the younger generation. Nobody knew why the adults called him a demon, and the older generation were pretty tight lipped about the subject when questioned.

Add on the fact that there was supposed to be a council meeting soon to discuss what happens next, and it was clear that the blond was not in the highest of spirits. It sucked that their friend was being demonized by the general population all for wanting to learn about his heritage.

"I see what you mean now... but why is Naruto still using that chakra?" More importantly, why did it seem to be growing in intensity and getting stronger? Sasuke shook his head before looking around, carefully scanning the area for any sign of the blond, "No idea. I'm not trying to stick around him while he's like that though. He gets extra aggressive when his eyes are red, a little too aggressive if you ask me." Extra aggressive, huh? Being aggressive was part of a shinobi's job description since they were basically paid to cause grievous bodily harm to others for a living. But if a shinobi from a clan that was world renowned for being battle hungry says that someone gets a little too combat happy, then there might be a problem worth looking into.

Shikamaru stood up from his crouching position in order to stretch his limbs, "I say we go back to the village and wait his bad mood out. No sense in being around him if he's that pissed."

"Now why would you guys wanna run away from me like that? Avoidance isn't a good look on you guys. I expected that much from Shikamaru, but you Sasuke? What is the world coming to?!" Naruto exclaimed in an overly theatrical manner as he landed beside the two, putting them both on guard. Ninjas didn't like being snuck up on like that, especially when they were in what they considered to be a hostile environment. Sasuke regarded the boy cautiously, keeping his body primed to leave the area swiftly if necessary, "What's with you and all of this... malice you're putting out?"

Naruto tilted his head, confused at the question, "No idea what you're talking about. I'm always like this, aren't I?" He strolled over to Shikamaru to pat him on the back, "I'm hurt, man. Neither of you wanna hang with me anymore... that's messed up, man." Those pats began to be a little too hard.

Shikamaru tensed up as he felt the steadily increasing force behind the pats, "Well, stop with all of the anger you're putting out there and we wouldn't even have to thi-" A bone protruded through Shikamaru's chest, alarming both him and Sasuke as they watched his shirt become rapidly drenched with blood. Shikamaru looked up at the blond in horror, "Yo-you stabbed me!" He exclaimed, feeling his life force begin to slip away.

Sasuke froze in fear as he watched Naruto remove the bloody bone before smirking, "Can't be bothered by me if you're dead, now can you?" He looked in Sasuke's direction once Shikamaru keeled over, grinning hungrily, "I'll give you a head start. Run." And with that said, the Uchiha ran for his life as he felt Naruto's malicious presence grow in volume, actually managing to cause to tree that they were on to groan and splinter under the sheer pressure.

Naruto smiled before speaking in a noticeably deeper, more guttural voice, "I'm quite fond of a good hunt."

X.X.X.

(20 Minutes Later, Somewhere in the Village)

Sasuke ducked into a nearby alleyway to avoid another flurry of razor sharp bones. He looked at the weapons that were meant to harm him, noticing the foul, red chakra coating them. The size of them were considerably larger than what he was used to seeing from his teammate, easily being the length of a grown man's arm instead of being small enough to comfortably fit in the palm of his hand.

The Uchiha was broken out of his musings as he registered several yells originating from various shinobi, "Kill the boy! He's no longer human!"

"Avoid any taijutsu engagements at all costs!"

"Wear him down with ninjutsu! We have to prevent him from advancing any further into the village!"

With cheers of courage and resolves solidified, many shinobi around the local area began pelting a certain sector of the street that Sasuke couldn't see with various forms of ranged ninjutsu. Sasuke looked on in foolish hope before fleeing the scene, reminding himself of how this situation was going to play out. Countless droves of previous shinobi tried the same strategy earlier, only to meet gruesome deaths as the jinchuuriki simply refused to die. They would attempt to play the keep away game, only to be overcome by the monster once he decided to close the distance.

Quickly leaping up to a rooftop to avoid the oncoming slaughter on the street, Sasuke looked around the village, surveying the damage that his home has taken so far. Different sections of the village were ablaze, sending large volumes of smoke into the nighttime sky. He could see the various amounts of deceased decorating the village in a morbid fashion, littering the streets and rooftops with some even pinned to buildings.

"Great chase man, it was a really great workout." Sasuke urgently threw himself off of the rooftop as swiftly as possible to avoid getting killed. Landing down on the street, he didn't waste any time to look back. He continued cutting a path through the streets, pushing past bystander and ninja alike in order to stay alive.

A loud, menacing roar echoed throughout the village before a myriad of bones of varying sizes erupted from the ground, sewing a completely fresh brand of chaos through Konohagakure. Sasuke watched in horror as the sharp instruments of death pierced through any and everyone, sparing nobody no quarter. Men, women, and children alike were skewered with no prior warning. Sasuke himself wasn't spared either, as a sizeable spire of bone went straight through his right thigh as it rised above the rest of the ivory spires.

Sasuke gritted his teeth in pain as he looked around in shock, seeing several prominent figures as well as people from his age group punctured and hanging limply from their respective causes of death. The sky took on a crimson color, as if it were mirroring the bloodshed that took place on this fateful night. He bit back tears as he painfully recalled the feeling of helplessness as he watched people around him perish, powerless to prevent the unnecessary deaths.

His painful recollection was halted as he registered the presence of Naruto emerging from the bone that he was impaled on. Only his torso fully emerged, while the rest of his body stayed attached to the bone as if it were a mere extension of his being. Smiling down at his friend, he momentarily frowned before cocking his arm back, only to drive it directly into Sasuke's chest cavity. Blood flew freely from the wound as Naruto grabbed his companion's heart. Without further fanfare, he savagely clamped down on the vital organ, effectively ending Sasuke's life.

Sasuke awoke from his dream screaming, clutching his chest in a frantic manner while breathing heavily. "Th-that dream..." Sasuke mused out loud as he calmed down, realizing that none of what transpired was a reality. He threw his sheets off of him before walking to the bathroom in order to wash up.

Standing over the sink, he turned the faucet on before splashing the running water into his face. He gazed upon his reflection in the mirror as he cleaned, before being taken out of his thoughts by a knock at his door. Although he had enough common sense to know that there shouldn't be anything suspicious at his door, he still regarded the sudden knocking with a bit of caution. That dream... no, that nightmare still had the raven haired boy on edge.

He approached the door, "Who is it?"

A monotone voice from the other side of the door answered his call, "An Anbu, Uchiha-san. I was sent by Hokage-sama to retrieve you for the council meeting today. Are you sufficiently prepared?"

Oh yeah, Sasuke completely forgot about that. Shaking off any thoughts of the nightmare, Sasuke replied to the Anbu, "Just let me get dressed, I'll be out shortly." He heard a grunt of affirmation from the other side. With the short conversation over for now, Sasuke retreated back to his room in order to get dressed, trying desperately to forget those horrific images. He just couldn't get it out of his head no matter how hard he tried.

Those evil eyes...

The oppressive aura...

Maybe the council meeting would help take his mind off of things. He hated thinking of somebody that he could consider a brother being like that, but then again, it wasn't like he hasn't experienced being in his presence while he was under the influence of that chakra before.

He just hoped that his dream would never become a reality.

X.X.X

(With Naruto, Forest of Death Entrance)

Naruto approached the massive gate to what could be considered the most hostile place within Konoha. Whistling at the prospect of being able to run amok and get a real workout, he happily sighed as he adjusted the scroll on his back. Despite all of the hassling and blaming Naruto faced once they came back, his mood could never be fully ruined due to the scrolls he obtained during his excursion.

He gave each of them quick glances through once they got back, finding interesting techniques, strategies, and mementos from Uzumaki clan members that contributed to the scrolls. Today he wanted to actually get a little in depth with the training exercises scroll. After his loss at the hands of Jinpachi, Naruto realized that his taijutsu, while formidable against the average shinobi, wasn't up to par to deal with the well known threats that inhabited the elemental nations. Therefore, he sought to improve his skills and branch out to new avenues.

Jinpachi struck a chord with the boy as he effectively summarized his battle tactics. " _If you can't get near me, then what can you do?"_ He shook his head at the reminder that plagued his thoughts ever since he lost, determined to improve.

In life, everyone has to face losses. It's up to them to either take it as a loss and give up, or take it as a lesson and learn from it.

Standing in front of one of the gates, he unlocked the object that barred him from entering before strolling inside, making sure to lock the gate behind him. He ran a hand through his spiky hair as he observed the morning sun, grinning before taking off into the deadly forest.

As he leapt nimbly through the forest, he observed the environment that he was visiting. He spared anything interesting enough to catch his attention curious glances, such as the local fauna, the oversized animals populating The ground below, and the various kunai placed around. The kunai first gave the boy pause, but then he shrugged it off.

After five more minutes of traveling, he stopped before falling down to a sizeable clearing. Naruto looked around to see if there were any threats lurking about, actually wanting to fight something and render it lifeless. Seeing that there were no potential hostiles at the moment, he grinned eagerly before placing his hands in his trademark hand seals, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu)!" A myriad of blond doppelgangers filled the area.

Once he was satisfied with the amount, he bagan to bark out orders, "Alright you guys, I want ten of you to set up a perimeter around here. Keep an eye out for anything that doesn't look friendly. If it seems like an issue, handle it."

One of the clones who got stuck with guard duty scoffed, "And what will you be doing, Mr. I'm too good to watch my own back so I'll have my clones do it for me?"

Another clone tapped him on the shoulder, chuckling at his disposition to guard duty, "You do realize that technically he is watching his own back since we're his clones, right?"

"Did you forget that you're him, or really an extension of him, or did he not give you enough chakra to function properly upstairs?" A clone who obviously wanted to ruffle some feathers yelled.

The insulted clone brandished a sword of bone before pointing it about haphazardly, "Anybody that has an issue with me having an issue is more than welcome to come see me about it! I dare you to!"

Before the clearing could erupt in mass clone related chaos, Naruto himself spoke up, deadpanning at his clones and their antics, "Can you guys stop being dickheads to each other for just five minutes? We need to get some work done here."

The clones stopped their potential brawl in order to heed Naruto's words, with several of them rubbing their heads sheepishly.

The one who pulled out the sword crossed his arms indignantly however, before casting a sneer onto everyone else, "My sword is staying out despite the ceasefire."

"Why?"

The swordsman duplicate shrugged, "Just in case I need to stab something. I am on guard duty after all, might as well keep something on me to protect myself." Nobody bought that at all, and made mental notes to watch out for that clone.

Naruto sweatdropped, "... Riiiiight. Anyway, the rest of us," he gestured to the clones closest to him, "will be working on whatever's in these scrolls. Any questions?"

Nobody raised their hand, getting Naruto to smile. He was about to start giving out the rest of the game plan, but was interrupted, "Oi, I got a question!"The stab happy clone raised his hand, "Alright, let's say that I perceive that asshole who implied that I was slow a threat, can I eliminate the potential threat with extreme prejudice?" He asked, a murderous gleam twinkling in his eye. That verbal jab rubbed him the wrong way, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't want a chance to maim the asshole responsible for it.

"Whoever said it, please steer clear of him." Naruto dryly stated before clapping his hands,"Enough playing around, lets get to business!" All of the clones let out shouts of affirmation before setting out to complete their respective tasks.

Seeing everybody get to work, Naruto nodded his head before plopping down on the ground, placing the scroll from his back down in front of him. He ran a hand over the ornate scroll, admiring the dark red and gold color scheme. Once he unraveled the scroll, he focused on the beginning paragraph. "Uzumaki Chakra 101: Why We're Dense In Mind, Soul, and Body..." The blond read out loud, lowly snickering at that title.

 _"If you're reading this scroll, you're obviously an Uzumaki, otherwise you'd probably be hallucinating heavily by now. If you're not, congrats, the genjutsu inscribed within the seal isn't slowly eating away at your sanity. Fuuinjutsu does some pretty gnarly stuff. But anyway, let's get to the point. The Uzumaki, (That's you, you little future badass, you) are known for their exceptionally strong life forces and vitality. Our chakra is extremely potent as well. I believe that maybe only the Senju and a couple of Uchiha match our chakra in terms of sheer potency. With our potent chakra, we're a cut above the average shinobi due to several reasons._

 _Reason one: Our unique branches of jutsu are ours only, since you need to have a certain amount of chakra and chakra density to perform them. Ever seen one of the experienced field Uzumakis do some crazy shit with their chakra, like make solid chains? I know you're probably thinking, "What's so good about chains, Uzumaki-sama?" Before you shrug this off, just know that Mito Uzumaki used her chains to restrain biju on a regular basis. Nuff said._

Naruto's eyes went wide at that little tidbit of information. The implications and possibilities of such a technique made him absolutely giddy on the inside. That could serve as a boon to his abilities, actually giving him something with range. His little bone bullets from his fingers, while dangerous to get hit by, were fairly avoidable due to the size of them. Filing that away for later, he continued to read.

 _Reason two: Our chakra assists us in doing what everyone fears us for: Fuuinjutsu. If we're that good at something to the point where Mizu, Suna, Kumo, and Tsuchi don't want any problems with our little island village, we must have something pretty damn special going for us. Our seals are the stuff of legend, and for something to be powerful enough to be regarded so highly, it must need a powerful source of power behind it right? For example, imagine the standard elemental nations explosive tag. With the amount of chakra found within one, you could probably blow a hole in the side of a two story building, maybe even knock it down if you know a thing or two about architecture and structural weak points. With an Uzumaki style tag however, say goodbye to that building, the building beside it, hell, might as well get rid of the whole street._

Naruto couldn't help but drool a little. Everybody liked explosions, but explosions like this? He loved his family already without even meeting them.

 _Reason three: We kind of secretly figured out how to do high level jutsu without hand seals at one point. The more you do our style of ninjutsu, the less effort you have to spend on moulding your chakra with those pesky hand seals. Sure, ending on a seal and striking a pose on top of a wave as you will the ocean around you to turn into a dragon before laying waste to your enemies sounds and looks cool. But trust me, nothing beats crossing your arms as you do what I just stated above. Plus, it makes the enemy shit themselves at the sight._

"Oi, boss! Are you seeing this?!" A clone shouted excitedly, "Chakra chains? Jutsu with no seals? We've hit the jackpot!" Naruto couldn't help but agree, looking down that the parchment proudly.

 _By now, if you're young and impressionable, I'm pretty sure I had you sold at explosive tags, if putting a biju on a leash like a house dog wasn't enough for you. Now you're wondering, "How, oh how will I ever become a badass of that caliber?" It's quite simple (not really, it's hard as hell)._

 _Before you learn how to become one with your chakra to do all of the stuff that will have people remember you by, you gotta start somewhere. Luckily for you, I got the training exercises that I had to do._

 _What you're gonna have to learn how to do is... meditate! No fancy training techniques, no high level hand seals yet, just honest meditation._

 _... Hope I didn't lose you at that. In order to be able to use your chakra Uzumaki style, you're going to need to know it inside and out. What better way to do that than to meditate? The meditation is key because you'll need to understand and focus on your chakra enough to be able to mould it outside of your body as though it were a physical thing. Yeah, sounds complicated, right?_

 _Basically think of it like this: when chakra runs throughout your body through the chakra coils and whatnot, you can think of it as a liquid. When high level shinobi have pissing contests and start exuding chakra left and right to the point where it's visible to the naked eye, it can best be described as a gas. What you're aiming to do is to solidify it the moment it comes out your body. Or at least make it so that it leaves a mark on something, or so that it can physically move things, like breaking a branch in half._

 _Find something nobody cares about to practice on. Focus on expelling your chakra from your tenketsu in small bursts at first. Imagine encasing your bursts of chakra in little cases of chakra, if that helps. You'll know that you're making process when there's visible evidence of your chakra leaving its mark on whatever's your target._

 _The whole process will improve your chakra control tremendously, allowing you to further dive into different exercises and techniques. Have fun, and try not to pop a blood vessel, those are pretty important._

Naruto looked up from his reading to observe some of his clones already practicing, with some taking positions around the clearing to meditate while others sat around trees, staring at the bark in the utmost level of concentration possible. Deciding to start himself, he rolled his scroll up before placing it onto his back. He proceeded to walk up a nearby tree, not stopping until he happened upon a branch a decent height from the ground, "Might as well get the meditation and the boring stuff out of the way." The blond mused out loud as he sat down in the lotus position, basking in the sunlight that was peeking through the canopy.

Naruto reached deep within him, finding a good starting point in his chakra fairly easily. He had prior training with chakra before due to his upbringing with Orochimaru, but even he had to admit that his chakra control itself wasn't that adequate. Since he primarily coasted on his laurels during his early years, namely his kekkei genkai and his decent speed, he never found a need to learn any ranged jutsu, or anything that would require him to refine his chakra control. Hell, he didn't even really know how to stick to surfaces with pure chakra. He just used his kekkei genkai as a substitute this whole time.

Using his kekkei genkai didn't actually need any chakra control at all. All he needed to do was think about the basic shape of whatever he wanted to produce, and mould the miniscule amount of chakra, and everything else fell into place. He realized that just trying to skate by using your kekkei genkai, no matter how badass it was, wasn't a good idea after his defeat at the hands of that Jinpachi jackass. Over specialization almost got his friends killed, which was something he's been kicking himself over for quite some time.

This, however, was going to change all of that. That he was certain of.

After ten more minutes of simply circulating his chakra all over his body, he felt that he had a good enough understanding so he stood up before aiming his palms at the branch that he was situated on. He willed the spiritual energy within him to congregate within his palms, letting it gradually build up. Eventually, he had enough chakra stored in his hands that it was visibly wisping out of his body. Once he felt that he had enough gathered, he forcefully expended the energy from his palms, watching with baited breath to see the results.

... Nothing happened.

He got down on all fours, scrutinizing the area that he aimed at with precision, looking for any sign of a mark that wasn't there previously. No luck, damn it!

Deadpanning at the lack of results, Naruto repeated the process, only to get the same results again.

He tried again.

Failure.

Yet another attempt.

Another failure for his efforts.

Naruto was shaken out of his thoughts by a feminine voice behind him, "You know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

The jinchuuriki wheeled around in order to see who managed to break the perimeter he set up, only gasp in horror as the lady that tried to shake him down before he left reached for the scroll. She gazed upon the scroll with a healthy level of curiosity as her hand travelled the distance, wanting to see what the kid was doing, "Lemme get a peak at what you're trying to do here, maybe I can help." Naruto tackled her hastily, wanting to avoid a potential mind fuck, "Don't! There's some kind of genjutsu that activates if you aren't an Uzumaki, a pretty fucked up genjutsu too!"

Anko simply looked up at the boy who had the stones to mount her like this, before flashing a mischievous smirk, "So instead of having me fall under the effects, you'd rather have me under you? Kinky, but you're just a little too young for me." She huskily whispered, her eyes glazed over with a seductive tint in them.

Naruto on the other hand looked flustered, cheeks turning red and all, before promptly dismounting the woman quickly. Looking away to avoid any awkward eye contact, Naruto picked up the scroll yet again. Although he wanted nothing more than to get away from this awkward situation, he found it prudent to question this lady, " Alright, who are you and how did you get here? I set up a perimeter and everything."

The questioned woman rose from her position on the branch, making it a show by doing it as seductively as possible, complete with gyrating her hind quarters, before waltzing over to Naruto. She set a hand on his shoulder, "Anko Mitarashi kid, sexiest kunoichi in the world!" She exclaimed dramatically while striking a magnificent pose, never reading the dictionary definition of humble, "As to how I got here, I live in the forest. Plus all of your clones are looking for ground based threats, not something stealthily moving through the trees like me. Any more questions?"

Naruto placed a contemplative finger on his chin as he searched through his mind for anymore inquiries. He eventually shook his head before turning around to look down at his clowns, frowning, "Oi, stabby clone! I see you, damn it! Don't you assassinate him!"

"I was just practicing the new chakra exercises! He just happened to be in the way! Look boss, I'm making progress!" Stabby yelled as he eagerly attempted to demonstrate on a poor, unsuspecting clone. He pointed his palms at the back of the doppelganger's head before letting loose a burst of chakra solid enough to actually push the clone over, effectively making the clone headbutt the tree in front of him.

Once the clone dispelled, Naruto suddenly registered the feeling of being pushed forward. Looking down at the location of the previous clone, he mumbled to himself, "Did I just... feel what the clone felt?" It was strange to him, because this never happened before. The last time he heavily used clones was when he fought Jinpachi, and those clones were getting popped left and right. Maybe it was the adrenaline and the deep voice's chakra running through him that didn't let him notice what was happening...

Anko stood beside him, observing his interaction with the clones, "So, you're practicing the art of making people headbutt things using your chakra? Pretty cool trick for when you go to parties, but I'm not seeing how this'll help you out in the field." She said, inwardly surprised at the amount of clones that she saw moving about on the forest floor. All of those duplicates of himself and the boy looked nowhere near winded, it was crazy! She knew one thing for certain, though.

Whoever he ends up having sex with will more than likely be completely satisfied with all of this stamina.

A perverted giggle arose from the snake mistress, causing Naruto to look in her direction and point at the trail of blood coming down from her nose, "... You alright, Anko? Your nose is bleeding." He hoped that there wasn't anything wrong with her.

Anko wiped away the blood before acting as if nothing happened, "I'm fine! Completely fine! No perverted thoughts over here, haha, no sir!" She suddenly stated as she attempted to innocently whistle. Naruto deadpanned, not buying it at all before trying to crawl down the tree. Anko stopped his descent though, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You got a council meeting today, buddy boy, and they got everybody looking for you. So come on, let's go get whatever this is over with." Naruto groaned, he forgot about the stupid meeting. He never attended one personally, but from what Jiji told him, he had to count that as a blessing. Dealing with the civilian council who had the collective common sense of a wet bucket was not how he wanted to spend his morning.

Sighing in resignation, Naruto dispelled all of his clones down below. He then promptly blacked out from the information overload and had to be caught by Anko to avoid cracking his head open on the ground like an egg.

Anko laughed quietly as she shouldered the boy before taking off, "Poor kid doesn't even know how the jutsu works all the way." He'd figure out eventually that the original receives all of the information and memories that the clones have once they dispel one day.

X.X.X

(Council Chambers)

Hiruzen Sarutobi sat in his chair as he maintained his calm, grandfatherly demeanor. He couldn't help the rampantly twitching eyebrow though.

The Hokage looked to his right, looking at each of the clan heads that took seats within the chamber.

Hiashi Hyuga, leader of the prestigious Hyuga clan.

Tsume Inuzuka, matriarch of the Inuzuka clan.

Choza Akimichi, the portly yet powerful leader of the Akimichi clan.

Shikaku Nara, the intelligent head of the Nara clan.

Inoichi Yamanaka, the blond haired leader of the mind masters, the Yamanaka clan.

And Shibi Aburame, the leader of one of the creepiest clans, the Aburame clan.

Hiruzen smiled as he shared respectful nods of acknowledgement with each clan head, before inwardly growling once the civilian side caught his attention.

"Hokage-sama, that little miscreant has the nerve to get Uchiha-sama and Nara-sama injured yet can't even show up for his punishment?! I am shocked and appalled!"

"Can we just skip the formalities and kick him out of the village?"

"Label him as a missing nin as well! He's been taught by the traitor, he'll survive! Maybe... hopefully not."

"I concur!"

Danzo sat amongst the bickering idiots, doing a better job than Hiruzen at not losing his composure. He himself didn't see the reasoning behind keeping the civilian portion of the council due to their lack of sway when it came to shinobi related subjects. But of course, his peaceful, crowd pleasing comrade just had to keep them.

Either way, they had their purposes. They were all pawns in the grand scheme of things.

Tsume, dressed in the standard Konoha shinobi attire, idly played with her spiky, wild hair as she listened to the civilians bark out things that would probably never occur. Hell, the first Hokage had a better chance at coming back to life than the old man letting the council kick the boy to the curb. Honestly, did they really think that that was going to happen?

She nudged the red haired Akimichi beside her, snickering as she smirked playfully, "Hey Choza, wanna make a friendly wager?" None of the brats were here yet, so why not find a way to pass the time?

Choza crossed his arms in contemplation, his chubby features taking on a serious look. Eventually he simply shrugged his shoulders though, curious about Tsume's proposition, "Why the hell not? What are we betting on this time?" He hoped it was another eating competition, or a drinking one.

Hell, why not both? Either one usually worked out in his favor.

Hiashi caught note of their potential gamble and decided to throw his two cents in, "Really? Trying to participate in something as uncouth as gambling during a council meeting? You both should be ashamed of yourselves." He stated with the trademark Hyuga air of superiority.

Tsume merely snickered alongside Choza as they ignored Hiashi's pompous statement before laying out the wager, "Bet money that Hokage-sama flips his shit during the meeting. I'm putting down five hundred ryo, you in?" She whispered as she subtly flashed Choza the currency she was putting on the line.

Hiashi grunted at their juvenile antics, "Childish wagers like those are unbecoming of a woman of your stature, Tsume."

Tsume snorted, developing a mischievous smirk on her face. Time to mess around with Hiashi, "Hey Hiashi, I got a favor to ask of you." This should be good.

The white eyed man raised a curious eyebrow, noticing the complete seriousness present within her voice, "As long as it's within the realm of realistic and plausible, I may be able to aid you. Now, what is it?"

She let out a yawn as she began to stretch, "Just wondering if I could borrow that stick that you have buried deep within your ass, after you wash it of course. I haven't had anything as big as that trademark Hyuga ass stick satisfy me in a looooong time..." She stated in all seriousness, causing Choza to break out in hysterical laughter. Her attempts proved to be successful when she observed Hiashi's eyebrow begin to twitch at one hundred miles per hour.

Hiashi scoffed as he regained his composure while Shikaku and Inoichi caught wind of the bet as well. Pulling his head up off of the desk in front of him, the Nara looked in Tsume's direction while brandishing a substantial amount of money, "Thousand ryo that the old man keeps it under wraps."

Inoichi chuckled as he threw some money into the proverbial pot too, "I'm with Shikaku. I got faith in Hokage-sama to pull through. Enough faith to put down seven hundred and fifty ryo..." Choza scratched his chin before placing his wager as well, pulling out a wad of bills, "I'll join Tsume with a nice thousand ryo." With wagers placed, the four clan heads all shared competitive smirks with each other. All until Hiashi threw everyone for a loop as he flashed his own wager, "If you are going to partake in such a unbecoming activity, you might as well do it with high stakes and dignity. Five thousand ryo that Hokage-sama..." He paused for a moment to contemplate his position, before smirking, "Does not lose his composure." All eyes widened at the Hyuuga leader's sudden entrance into the bet, not expecting the arguably most rigid person in the village to participate.

Hiashi looked back at the owlish expressions being directed at him. What, he couldn't participate too? Just because his clan was known for being in the upper echelon of the art of stoicism, that did not mean that he couldn't have fun every now and then.

He just had to do it while maintaining his reputation as a pompous ass.

Tsume was the first to get over her shock at the recent developments, "... Alright, gotta admit Hiashi, I did not see that coming. So is that everyone who's betting?" All present shook their heads, not knowing that they subconsciously left out Shibi.

Shibi inwardly growled, everyone forgot about him yet again. So what if he was on the far end of the row, he would still like to indulge in the merry making. He even had a plan to subtly agitate the Hokage with a few inconspicuous insects throughout the meeting in order to increase the chances of him snapping.

The Aburame curse of getting ignored and automatically placed in the background was highly annoying.

The doors to the chamber opened to reveal Sasuke and Shikamaru being escorted by an Anbu, with Shikamaru adorned in an arm sling, his chest and shoulder area wrapped up tightly in bandages. He wore a slight but noticeable grimace on his face as Hiruzen warmly greeted the two, "Sasuke-kun, Shikamaru-kun, I'm happy to see the both of you. How's your shoulder coming along, Shikamaru-kun?" He asked the Nara, curious about the healing process.

Shikamaru regarded the Hokage with the suitable amount of respect after being addressed before answering his question, "It still throbs a lot, but the doctors said that I should be able to be back in action by the end of next week, just in time for the team placements." The lazy side of his mind wished that he'd be out of commission for a longer amount of time, but he refused to stay weak. That latest trip was a wake up call to Shikamaru, even if he didn't fight. Him and Sasuke hated to admit it, but Naruto made the right call in keeping them from directly engaging the two swordsmen. They were nowhere near skilled enough to even last thirty seconds against the two.

Danzo stared at the Uchiha, a stern look present on his weathered visage, " _Maybe the Uchiha can assist with the plan... I'll have to convince the boy one way or the other."_ The war hawk contemplated. His scrutinizing gave did not go unnoticed, as Hiruzen took note of Danzo's calculating gaze, " _What are you planning, my old friend?"_ He'd have to keep a close eye on him from here on out.

Shikaku acknowledged his son and Sasuke, "About time you guys showed up. Now if only the guest of honor would arrive, we can start and end this troublesome ordeal." He really didn't want to spend his morning with the civilian council.

One of the more bold civilians directly addressed Shikaku, "Nara-sama, look at what that de-" A kunai whizzed past his face, depositing itself directly into the side of his headrest attached to the chair. Okay, so he had to choose his words more carefully, "Look at your son and take in what the... boy has caused. Surely you don't want something that reckless associated with your son, now do you?" So that was the name of his game. Try to use an emotional appeal to sway others to his agenda.

Classic political tactics.

Unfortunately for him, both Shikaku and Shikamaru shared a dry look before shrugging simultaneously, each answering that stupid question.

"He's not dead, and ninja life ain't pretty. I wasn't expecting my son to go through his early childhood years without a scratch, that's just unrealistic. All in all, I say he came out pretty good from that."

"Naruto is one of my closest friends. As troublesome as he may be, I won't stop hanging around him any time soon. Hell, if it wasn't for him and this injury, I'd probably be trying to just do the bare minimum with my skills. After a hands on experience with high level shinobi that wanted to kill me, I realized that coasting on what little laurels I have is the quickest way to get me killed. I'm not having that." Shikamaru stated with firmness, filling a majority of the older ninja there with a sense of pride.

Clearly this little excursion provided a motivator for the young Nara, which would prove beneficial for him in the future.

Sasuke shared a majority of his sentiments as well. With the exception of trying to be average, he agreed with everything that his friend stated. He refused to just skate by, he was an Uchiha.

Mediocrity just wasn't a part of his vocabulary when it came to describing himself, nor would it ever be.

Shibi nodded in respect to the young Nara's statement before proposing an important question, "Uchiha-san, Nara-san, do you happen to know the whereabouts of Uzumaki-san?" Both shrugged in response.

"No idea where the dobe is."

"Me either. Troublesome."

The door to the chambers opened once again, filling everyone with hope that it was Naruto so that the meeting could commence. Unfortunately, their hopes were diminished when it was just another Anbu reporting in to the Hokage, "Hokage-sama, we have yet to locate the boy."

Hiruzen made to reply to the loyal ninja, yet was interrupted once the Anbu was shoved out of the way. Anko took his place as she swaggered into the meeting with Naruto on her shoulder, "Hokage-sama, you might wanna find some new Anbu if they couldn't find a spiky blond haired brat like Naruto." She playfully suggested as she walked over to Sasuke and Shikamaru, treating Naruto as if he were a trophy she managed to obtain. She dropped the boy stomach and face first onto the floor in order to avoid damaging his scroll placed on his back, a scroll that immediately caught the attention of all the shinobi in the room.

" _Wonder what kind of scroll the pup is carrying."_

 _"Is that an Uzumaki scroll? It's got the insignia and everything... that's going to raise a lot of questions. Tch, troublesome."_

 _"An Uzumaki scroll? So the boy found something substantial regarding his lineage..."_

 _"The jinchuuriki actually has the scroll, it's seems my subordinate was completely correct with his report. Let's see how this plays out."_

 _"Naruto-kun... you finally have something to know your clan by."_

A rather gaudy dressed civilian eyed the scroll before scoffing, "What is such an unsavory individual like himself doing with such an ornate scroll?" A parchment with a regal looking appearance like that didn't belong in the hands of that boy.

Sasuke looked up at the man, who embarrassingly switched his tone of voice from that of a rich dickhead with a mightier than thou attitude to an excited schoolgirl who got approached by her object of affection, "Yes, young Uchiha-sama? Is there something you would like to say?" Maybe a majority of the shinobi present were still a bit sleepy due to the early morning, but they could swear that the man had stars in his eyes.

The Uchiha ignored the disturbing display of fanaticism, opting to instead inform the obviously ignorant man of why Naruto had the parchment, "That's an Uzumaki scroll from the Uzumaki village," He then pointed at the still blacked out Naruto, "And he's an Uzumaki. Do the math." He stated dryly. The ignorant fool wisely kept his mouth shut.

Tsume snickered, "Nice way of shutting him down, pup. Very subtle." She complimented. It brought a warm feeling to her heart to see an idiot get put in his place.

Sasuke nodded before looking down at Naruto. Everyone that didn't have a negative bias towards the blond sweatdropped when Sasuke kicked the boy in his ribs in an attempt to arouse his friend from his slumber, "Wake up dobe, time for the meeting." Shikamaru slightly laughed, "Wasn't that a bit too harsh for a wake up?"

Sasuke shrugged in response, "He's probably taken way worse than that, he'll be alright." He gingerly rubbed his leg, reminded of his own injuries. Luckily his shoulder just needed to be reset after the battle, so it didn't take long for it to heal compared to his leg.

Naruto eventually woke up, rubbing his ribcage. They were throbbing, almost as though if someone had kicked him in the ribs...

He looked up at Sasuke who looked directly back at him with a blank expression. Why did he have a feeling that Sasuke was responsible for the pain?

He casted Shikamaru a glance as well. Did Shikamaru do it?

"Sasuke did it."

"Damn it Shikamaru, did you really have to?"

"Yes. Just because I'm injured doesn't mean he wouldn't find a reason to harass me."

"He's right. I'd just tell him to suck it up and think of it as a potential combat situation. Injured while facing down an enemy, act accordingly."

Hiruzen made a mental note to pick Naruto's brain for training exercises in the near future. Some of the things Naruto subjects Sasuke and Shikamaru to should be placed in the academy curriculum to better prepare the younger generation for the future.

Naruto patted Sasuke on the back, horrifying Sasuke as he recalled his earlier nightmare, "Don't worry Sasuke, I'll handle that later. Now, let's get to business." He turned his attention to Hiruzen, "How's it going, Jiji?" He asked in a casual manner, baffling those who weren't used to seeing the boy interact with the powerful shinobi.

"Jiji?! How dare you! Show some respect and address him as Hokage-sama boy!"

"Who do you think you are?!"

Hiruzen silenced the civilian council with a simple firm glare. These people just had a penchant for overreacting to the smallest things. Sighing before smiling and the three shinobi who were the focus of the meeting, he projected his voice loud and clear for everyone to hear, "I'm fine, my boy. Now that everyone is finally here, we can begin with the meeting. Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, Shikamaru-kun, care to give us the exact details of what transpired on your trip?"

Yet again, another civilian decided to be a nuisance, "With all due respect Hokage-sama, is it a wise course of action to discuss this while the snake woman is still here?" Said council member paused in his statement as he felt a slithering sensation creep around his legs. He peeped under the desk and screamed hysterically as he caught a glimpse of a rather sizable snake with its fangs bared hovering over his crotch area.

He could swear that the snake was smiling at him as well.

Anko looked around innocently as she spoke in a slightly airy tone, "Gee, I wonder what's got him screaming like that..."

The man shot up from his seat, pointing a accusatory finger at the serpentine woman, "Don't play dumb with me, Snake Mistress! Now do as I say and remove this vermin from around my ankles immediately!" He bellowed angrily. He even had a bit of spittle flying about as well, how cute.

Hiruzen gave Anko a stern look, causing her to playfully pout, "Fine. Geez, it's not like he was poisonous or anything. Just a harmless python." She said as if a python wasn't a dangerous predator already in nature. With a casual snap of her fingers, the snake acknowledged it's summoner before disappearing in the trademark cloud of smoke.

The scared shitless council member eyed Anko waringly as she smiled at him predatorily before looking at Hiruzen nervously, "If she's going to act in such a manner, why should we allow her to sit in on the meeting?"

Hiruzen looked down at Anko before answering, "As long as she refrains from anything else like that she is allowed to stay. Any complaints will have to be taken up with me."

"And me!" Naruto chimed in, menacingly cracking his knuckles as he sized everyone up that sat on the civilian council.

Especially Danzo, he really didn't like the mummy bastard at all. He already had reasons, but there was something else he couldn't quite put his finger on that told him that the man was completely bad news.

Although he was happy that he didn't get neutered by a python today, the council member was still disgruntled at the fact that the snake bitch and the demon boy got to act however they pleased with no consequence.

Clearing his throat, Hiruzen started the meeting back up, "Now then, tell us about everything that happened on the trip."

The trio all nodded their heads respectively before beginning to reminisce on that fateful trip, taking turns to describe all of the main events from their perspectives. Once it got to the point where Jinpachi collapsed the building in an attempt to end it all right then and there, Shikamaru took a backseat to everything since he was unconscious for the rest of it.

Naruto began to talk about how he managed to survive a collapsing building. Before he fully explained the exact reason, he gave Hiruzen a look, a look that seemed like he was asking a non verbal question. Once he got a nod in response, he told everyone that it was a combination of him reinforcing his body with his kekkei genkai and forcibly descending through the floors before burrowing underground.

"A kekkei genkai? Which one?" Shikaku asked, not seeing that coming at all. When Naruto first came back to the village, they all were briefed on how special the boy was. He chalked it up to the Kyuubi and his time under Orochimaru making him special, not a kekkei genkai.

Naruto idly brushed his hands on his black cargo pants before lifting his arm up, "The Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse), the best one in the world! In my most humble opinion, of course." He proudly stated as several bones grew out of his forearm. Eyes widened and eyebrows raised as everyone soaked in the new information.

Hiashi had to avoid showing any outside emotion at that bold declaration, so he internally scoffed instead. " _It may be a formidable bloodline, but it doesn't hold a candle to the Byakugan."_

Does anybody know how to be humble anymore?

Shikamaru gazed upon the bones on his friends arm, coming to a realization, " _So that's why Naruto is so adamant on not fighting any of us full throttle. It's not something he can use on people he doesn't want to kill."_ A kekkei genkai like that? Now he saw why he used to tap limbs all the time.

Every time someone got a limb tapped, that was Naruto subtly showing how easy it was to cripple his opponent, if not outright kill them.

A spiked tap on the elbow or shoulder? Goodbye to that limb.

Knees, ankles, or your hip? No more mobility for you.

He wouldn't even get into anywhere that could be considered a one hit kill, it was scary enough just thinking about easily being crippled.

Casting a glance at his friend, who was now producing hollowed out bones, he made a mental note to never engage Naruto in hand to hand combat should they come to serious blows. Damn it, just another reason to level up with his skills.

Continuing on with the story, Naruto spoke on him killing Kushimaru and the subsequent fight between him and Jinpachi. The elder shinobi present showed varying degrees of surprise at the fact that a fresh out of the academy student managed to kill a elite jonin.

Hiruzen chose to interject at this point in the story, "Fantastic job, my boy! As soon as that whole bloodline civil war fiasco is over, we can get in contact with Kiri in order to go through the proper channels for your bounty. Congratulations Naruto-kun, you've earned it." The seasoned shinobi congratulated proudly, beaming with happiness that other members of the council couldn't help but exhibit as well.

Naruto took it all in without an ounce of shyness present, smiling boisterously as he rubbed the back of his head, "It was nothing, Jiji. I'm just too awesome, even jonin can't handle me!"

Seeing enough of the boy show off due to his situational victory, a victory well earned nonetheless, Danzo proposed a question about an important detail that he assumed everyone was looking over, "Naruto, he was a member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, correct?"

Naruto regarded the man with a cautious curiosity, wondering what he was trying to get at with this line of questioning, "Uhh, yeah. Had the oversized needle sword and all. Why?" He asked before coming to a realization of what Danzo was asking.

He promptly face palmed, "Godammit."

Danzo nodded, "How did you manage to retrieve the body, yet not retrieve the sword?" Surely one could not manage to be so careless to forget the sword when it came to dealing with a swordsman.

Still sliding his hand down his face after his well deserved face palm, Naruto sighed defeatedly, "Shit, that Jinpachi-teme must've took it after he blew me to kingdom come and sent me to the bottom of the river. Stupid explosions."

"I hope you won't be this careless next time, Naruto." Danzo stated firmly. If the boy managed to get the sword as well, that could have been an important assset to possess in regards to dealing with Kirigakure.

If only Hiruzen allowed him to train the boy instead. He wouldn't be making mistakes like that.

There wouldn't be any room for error.

Naruto shook himself out of his momentary pity party before continuing to speak, "Wait a second, that wasn't completely my fault! He threw a kunai with an explosive tag on it while I was taking Kushimaru's body underground! Don't blame me, blame assholes with a fetish for explosions!" He snapped with a frown on his face.

He then looked in Hiruzen's direction, "Can I continue with the story now?" He got a nod of affirmation, which allowed him to move forward.

He eventually got to the part where Jinpachi started to hand him his ass, a part that he explained without much of the enthusiasm he showed earlier in the story. Arriving at the point where the deep voice gave him the chakra, Naruto was interrupted by Danzo, "A deep voice you say?"

"Yes. Dunno where it came from, all I know is that it said it would give me enough energy to destroy Jinpachi, then I felt great and healed really quickly and hunted him down. Apparently I had red eyes and a orange like haze surrounding, according to Sasuke." He explained as he thumbed in Sasuke's direction. Sasuke nodded in confirmation once all eyes were on him.

Shikaku gave the trio a stern gaze, specifically Naruto and Sasuke, "Describe what happened once Naruto caught up to you, Sasuke."

Sasuke began to explicate on the battle that took place beforehand, or more like the slaughter. Unknown Anbu showed up only to get demolished by the explosive expert, which did not leave a nice taste in Danzo's mouth.

It seemed that more training was in order for his underlings. An elite squadron of shinobi shouldn't be so easily dispatched when they have the numbers advantage.

Naruto eventually came back into the picture as Sasuke expounded on his rematch with the swordsman. During his recap, Naruto lowly growled at the fact that the asshole got away. As the meeting continued, Naruto idly wondered where the dickhead escaped to, and how he would extract his pound of flesh should they cross paths again.

X.X.X.

(Undisclosed Location, Nami no Kuni)

"Zabuza-sama, I feel a powerful presence approaching our destination." A young voice stated calmly. The person that the voice belonged to was a teenage girl wearing a forest green kimono top, with a brown pinstripe long sleeved shirt under it. Baggy brown shorts and brown sandals completed the dark, long haired female's outfit.

She observed a rather tall man hack down trees in the clearing in front of her with minimal effort, his mammoth sword slicing through the thick trunks like the sharpest knife in the drawer cutting through hot butter. Said man was shirtless, showing off his impressive upper body while his legs were adorned in white camouflage pants that were stuffed into pinstripe leg warmers. He had short spiky black hair and bandages covering the lower portion of his face. After downing yet another poor, defenseless tree, Zabuza turned around to face the girl, "How can you tell Haku? Do you have a sensor ability that you haven't told me about?" He lightly joked.

Looking behind her in order to not be caught off guard, Haku turned back to face Zabuza, "On the way here I felt a unfamiliar killing intent. Think it's another hunter nin?" She idly asked as she moved her hand to her hip to fondle her porcelain mask. If they needed to move, she needed to stay inconspicuous, and what better way to do that than to wear a mask?

Zabuza noticed his tool's fidgety disposition before shouldering his blade, "Can't be. Hunter nin aren't supposed to give off any sign of them being there, including killer intent. I'm assuming whoever's coming in this direction isn't a weakling either, since anyone flaring enough intent like that for no reason is either really stupid... or strong enough to not give a shit." He casually explained as he started to move in the direction of the unknown. Whatever was coming, it had to be something interesting.

Probably some fool trying to cash in on a bounty.

Haku placed her mask on as she followed behind her master, donning her emotionless persona, "Are we going to engage the potential hostile?" She would be ready to fight anyone if her master wished for her to do so.

His answer surprised her though, "Hmm. Nah, well more like we aren't going to jump the shark and try to gut whoever it is. Remember, we're trying to stay low-key, and a battle with..." He instantly brandished his sword as he settled into a defensive stance before growling dangerously, "So they realized that those cookie cutter nin weren't doing shit and sent you for my head, huh?"

Haku instantly took to a nearby branch, ready to eliminate the target should the opportunity present itself. No one would kill her master under her watch. Her protective intentions were put on hold as she felt a strong arm wrap around her neck while the point of a kunai sat comfortably at the base of her spine.

Unable to move due to the iron grip placed around her neck, Haku screamed out, "Zabuza-sama!" This got Zabuza to wheel around and face Haku and the person holding her hostage.

He gritted his shark like teeth behind the bandages, "Jinpachi."

Jinpachi smiled viciously at being addressed before reaching directly into Haku's clothes, seemingly groping the girl, "Zabuza! It's been awhile, man! How's life for you?"

Trying his hardest not to go up there and gut the bastard where he stood for groping Haku, Zabuza engaged in some banter with his old comrade, "Oh you know, the usual. Trying to find a way to make enough money so I can go back to Kiri and do what I need to do. Dodging the idiots that Kiri keeps sending after my head. Raising that tool that you happen to be molesting right now." He dryly answered, a noticeable growl coming out towards the end of his sentences.

Jinpachi laughed uproariously, "Molesting? Oh no, all I'm doing is making sure that you don't try to kill me right off the bat."

"And why would I try to do that?"

"The Demon Brothers... yeah, you're gonna need some new partners. They tried to get rowdy with me, so I had to show them who's at the top of the food chain. You know how easy it is for me to get carried away with those explosives of mine."

Zabuza snorted at that. They weren't losses that were a heavy blow to him, not at all, "Yeah, they weren't important enough to have me try to brutally murder you on sight. On the other hand though, she is. I'd suggest that you let go of her so we can talk without all of this standoff bullshit."

Jinpachi raised an eyebrow at that. Zabuza trying to be diplomatic?

What is the world coming to?

"I have your word that there won't be any potential maiming between us during this conversation?" A shinobi's word usually wasn't worth shit since the name of their game was deceit and backstabbing, but maybe there could be some honor among murderers for hire just this one time.

"As long as there isn't a reason to and you take that tag off of her, you can have my word." Zabuza stated as he stabbed his sword into the ground. This course of action let Jinpachi know that Zabuza was serious about just talking. Satisfied with that for the moment, he removed the tag and released his hold on Haku, who jumped down to Zabuza's side. Putting the potential teenager killing paper away for later use, he smiled down at Zabuza, "How'd you know there was a tag?"

"Cause I know you. Now why are you here?" Zabuza questioned as the explosives expert hopped down as well, lodging his sword into a tree.

The questioned party grunted, "I'm on the run, just like you. Kushimaru would've been here with me, but some bloodline freak genin from Konoha killed him." Zabuza's eyes widened as Haku subtly flinched at the negative tone the bearded man used when talking about bloodlines.

Zabuza placed a shoulder on Jinpachi's shoulder, eyes wide in disbelief, "You're shitting me."

"No, really. Kushimaru is dead because of a genin. The little brat caught him off guard, crippled him, and killed him."

"I can't believe it." Zabuza stated as he held onto his sword's handle. That was pretty heavy.

"If it weren't for the fact that I had to keep the shit from killing me too, I would've stopped in disbelief too." Each of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist were elite jonin, enough to probably give maybe one of the current kage a run for their money if they went all out. To witness a genin kill one of them that swiftly...

Just goes to show how nothing in the world is black and white.

Jinpachi stroked his beard as he continued, "Unfortunately, I couldn't kill the bastard either. He was a jinchuuriki with the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse), so once that biju boost kicked in it started to get a little hectic."

"Hectic?"

"Kid knew the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Jutsu). A bunch of solid clones that wielded their own skeletons while under a biju's influence? I hope you see why I had to cut that short and get out of there." Zabuza nodded at that while shivering. He's heard of Shikotsumyaku users in the past being absolute monsters by themselves, but hearing about a jinchuuriki that could clone himself and use that simultaneously?

If that kid was any higher in skill, Jinpachi might've been dead too.

"So you're floating by, just like us?"

"Pretty much..."

...

"Truce while we drift around looking for ways to make money?"

"What's in it for me?" Zabuza eyed the man suspiciously. Just because they were comrades at one point in time, doesn't mean that they needed to band together again.

Jinpachi simply smiled, "Well for starters, I think I know of somebody we can talk to for money."

"... I'm listening."

Jinpachi wagged a finger as if admonishing a child, "Ahh, not so fast! Are you listening as a comrade or just someone who's trying to know something?"

Damn it, he had Zabuza by the balls. On one hand, Zabuza could've just fished around for info himself and ignored Jinpachi altogether.

But on the other hand, money was his main priority, besides staying alive, at the moment...

"Fine, we can work together I guess." Jinpachi hopped around in over exaggerated happiness until he found the edge of that giant cleaver Zabuza owned pointed at his jugular, "Don't get too excited about this, this is a business partnership. Got it?"

"I read you loud and clear! This is the start of yet another beautiful friendship!" He stated as he twirled around comically with hearts in his eyes.

Zabuza and Haku deadpanned before Zabuza cleared his throat, "Ahem. Money..."

Hearing this, Jinpachi got back into a serious demeanor, "Right! So there's this guy on the island named Gato, and from what I hear, he's got his hands wrapped around the place's neck. All of his cronies are well paid, and they're just the grunts. Imagine what he'll pay us if he provide some top of the line shinobi quality work..." Zabuza caught on to what Jinpachi was getting at as he placed his sword into it's holster.

He started to walk off in a random direction, "Well why are we still standing around? There's money to make, so let's go find this Gato and introduce ourselves." Haku joined his side, with Jinpachi leaping over the duo's heads, "Follow me, comrades!"

Haku whispered to Zabuza, "Do you think we could trust him?" He seemed like a real shady character.

"No idea, just keep your eyes open. You never let your guard down around him, understand me?"

Haku nodded her head submissively, "Yes Zabuza-sama."

X.X.X.

 **And I'm still alive. Sorry for taking so long, Ap calculus, MGSVPP, work, and other stuff had me pretty occupied.**

 **But yeah, if it isn't obvious, we're approaching the Wave arc. Jinpachi's still alive and kicking, Danzo is still scheming, and Naruto is training Uzumaki style.**

 **Remember the dream, it'll serve for a major part of Sasuke's development in the story.**

 **Remember to read and review, and feel free to ask me anything about the story.**

 **Until next time, Spvnk out.**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto man. If I did, Shikamaru would have been waaaaaay more badass than he was in the show. And Naruto would know more than two fucking jutsu throughout the whole series. Was nobody else but me annoyed by that?

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 7: Knick knack patty wack**

 **X.X.X.**

(One Week Later, Konoha Academy)

"Shikamaru, you're finally healed I see." Ino said as she stood over the sloth who had his head on the desk. The blond put a hand on her hip before poking Shikamaru's shoulder over and over again, "Does that hurt?"

Her hand being grabbed by Shikamaru, who still kept his head on the desk, stopped her from any further poking. Turning his head to the side and cracking one eye open, he spoke with a dry tone to the Yamanaka, "Just because the bandages are off and I'm all healed, doesn't mean I want to be poked and prodded like a science experiment. Would you like it if I poked you?"

Ino shook her head vehemently, "No! Only one man can poke me!" She stated with absolute seriousness, spinning around to gaze lovingly at her future husband.

Shikamaru groaned. This Sasuke fever that the girls had was super annoying, "I can take a wild guess."

"Sasuke! Come to momma, my loving man!" She proclaimed as she waved at the raven haired boy.

"I'm thirteen, leave me alone dammit!" Sasuke retorted while he tried to ignore her. Can't he just go one day without being harassed? It's all he wanted.

"A teenager is considered a man in some cultures." Naruto chimed in from a row below Sasuke.

"Not helping at all, dobe."

"Who said I was helping?"

Currently playing in Tayuya's hair while she sat beside him, he paused for a moment before turning around to talk to Sasuke, "Why are you so against girls? You're a walking chick magnet and yet you act like you'll catch something just from being nice to the girls."

It was weird. Guys liked members of the opposite sex, and being a teenager meant that it was around that time of life where girls stopped being gross and started looking really appealing to the average male. Sasuke had the rare gift of attracting girls left and right like a moth drawn to a flame.

Despite this, he tried his hardest not to involve himself with any of them. It was really crazy. Did Sasuke not like girls or something?

Could it be?

"...Are you gay, Sasuke?" Naruto inquired. Everyone in the class went silent once they heard the question, wanting to hear the Uchiha's answer.

With all eyes on him, Sasuke glared at the dobe in front of him. He had a feeling he asked that question just to start something, "No, you idiot!" He shouted as he turned away from the rest of his class, presenting his back to everyone.

Naruto shrugged as he snickered, "Just had to ask, I found it weird that you had the girls fighting for your attention, doing everything in their ability just to get to talk to you, and you pretend like they don't exist. They aren't even ugly either, it's some really cute girls after you..."

Naruto looked around the classroom before pointing at Kiba, "Look, guys like Kiba would kill to have that natural pull you have with girls."

Propping a foot up on the desk in front of him, Kiba pointed back at the blond with an offended expression present on his feral visage, "No the hell I wouldn't! Women love me, the Kiba man! I don't need Sasuke's stupid charisma or whatever it is that attracts girls to him, I got my own appeal."

"Which is?" Choji asked, chowing down on his fifth bag of chips for the morning.

"The tattoos." He pointed at his triangular markings painted on his cheeks, "Chicks love tattoos." He nodded proudly at that little golden nugget of wisdom.

Everyone else however sweatdropped. Sakura punched him in the back of the head, "Get your feet off of the desk, mutt! And for Kami's sakes, you need to invest in learning how to shower!" She scolded the boy while pinching her nostrils shut, trying her hardest not to keel over from the stench.

Seriously, how could one believe that they were so irresistible when they smelled like wet dog and hot ass crack?

Rubbing the back of his head, Kiba hopped onto the desk completely instead of getting down, poking his chest out proudly, "I do take showers for your information. But nothing beats a man's natural musk, cause girls love a man that's confident about his smell, right ladies?"

"No the hell we don't! You're not even a man yet, so shut all of that up!" Shouted several girls, mocking the dog like boy.

"You'll all see one day! I'll have to beat them all off with a stick pretty soon!" He barked back. His denial is something serious.

Sweatdropping at that little sidebar embarrassment, Sasuke got back on track with the conversation they were having, "Just because I'm not trying to get with any girl that likes me, doesn't mean I'm gay, dobe! I'm just not interested in any of them at the moment."

Sakura and Ino jumped in front of him out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of the Uchiha, "Even me, Sasuke?!" The duo screeched simultaneously, accidentally waging war on the class' eardrums.

Blankly looking at the two, Sasuke decided to crush their dreams right then and there, "Especially you two." He poked both of them in the forehead to shove them away.

The shove caused Ino to topple backwards, with her not expecting to be shoved like that by her future husband. Landing into Naruto's lap, it took her a second to regain her bearings.

Naruto looked at her before looking at Tayuya, who had a look of amusement evident on her face, "What do I do?" Getting a shrug in response, Naruto shrugged too before tossing Ino out of his lap. The poor girl landed in a disheveled heap on the stairs beside them, and Sakura grabbed a handful of Naruto's hair forcefully, "Don't toss Ino around like that, you ass! Show some respect!"

"Yeah, that's right forehead! Stick up for me, tell him to suck on that!" Ino screamed, still in a daze on the stairs. That five second surprise tumbling session just now had her seeing stars.

Shaking the boy back and forth by his hair still, Sakura beamed the boy on the head with a meaty punch before throwing him out of his seat, "Suck on that, baka!"

"Damn straight, forehead!"

Sakura looked on victoriously for a moment before registering what Ino called her. She turned her ire onto her rival, "Who you calling forehead, piggy?!"

Ino shook her head in order to get back in the right state of mind before screeching back, "You, since you're the only one in here with a fat ass forehead like that!" She pointed at the pink haired girl's sizeable forehead for emphasis, causing on lookers to erupt in wild fits of laughter.

Growling at being publicly embarrassed like that, Sakura started cracking her knuckles menacingly as she stalked towards Ino, "Hope you're ready to die."

Ino felt death approaching her and looked around for anything to stave off the oncoming asswhooping. "Back, back I say! Back, you foul beast!" She warned as she picked up a still woozy Naruto for protection, "I have a shield, and I'm not afraid to use him, damn it!"

That didn't stop Sakura's stride at all though, "So? There are no innocents. Plus that trip he took Sasuke-kun on got him hurt, you're just giving me the opportunity to hurt him."

Naruto lashed out at that statement, flailing his limbs about comically, "FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, SASUKE CAME ON THAT TRIP BY HIS OWN FREE WILL, DAMN IT! IN CASE YOU ALL FORGOT, WE'RE NINJAS! OUR LINE OF WORK INVOLVES INJURIES! BE HAPPY HE'S STILL ALIVE SO YOU OBSESSIVE STALKERS CAN STILL FANTASIZE ABOUT HIM!"

Did they all not know that being a ninja meant that you were bound to get hurt at one point or another? Or were they too obsessed with their unhealthy crushes to face the grim reality?

Ino knew her impromptu human meat shield was making sense, but she had to ignore that for now due to the impending doom coming towards her, "Think of our friendship! You wouldn't kill a friend, would you?" This actually got Sakura to stop momentarily, her previous murderous expression shifting to one of love and compassion, "Of course not. I could never kill you, Ino."

Ino let out a long breath of relief as she continued to hold up Naruto defensively, "Whew, thank Kami. You actually had me scared for a second." Ino thought that that was the last straw for real. Thankfully Sakura didn't want to kill her.

Sakura let the heartwarming moment pass before she began to move forward though, shocking the blond as she continued to crack her knuckles menacingly.

Naruto idly wondered if Sakura had a small amount of the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) within her as well with all of that bone cracking she was doing.

"I thought you wouldn't kill me, you liar!" Ino shouted hysterically as she inched away from the pink haired demon, still utilizing Naruto as a handy dandy human meat shield.

"You're absolutely right. I would never try to kill you. I would try to maim you in various, horrific ways however." She smoothly countered, nearing closer and closer to her well deserved retribution.

Once Ino reached the bottom of the stairs, she decided to chuck Naruto at Sakura in an attempt to buy her some time.

"I'm not a projectile!"

Seeing that her gamble was successful, she got onto her feet and hauled ass towards the door, determined to survive, "I will not be maimed today! Ino is too pretty to get maimed!" In her hasty escape, she failed to notice the door sliding open with Iruka stepping into view.

Iruka wasn't prepared for the Yamanaka heir to come barreling into his stomach at first, but a last second application of chakra to let him stick to the floor kept him from getting knocked off of his feet. Ino however, bounced right off of the man, landing onto her rear while rubbing her head. Looking up at the brick wall she ran into, she began to speak in a hazy tone.

"Owww... damn forehead putting walls in my way." She inhaled deeply due to the unexpected collision knocking the wind out of her.

"You smell like academics, random brick wall."

Cue massive sweatdrop.

Iruka looked puzzled yet prideful at the same time. He wondered what sort of chaos was taking place in his room in order to get Ino to run for the door like that.

On the other hand, being called a brick wall made him felt good on the inside. Sitting behind a desk and grading papers all day did nothing to decrease his physical presence. Still solid as a rock.

But wait, academics had a smell?

His teaching partner Mizuki popped up behind him, wondering why Iruka stopped in the doorway, "What's the hold up, Iruka?" He questioned.

Iruka shifted to the side to allow Mizuki to see into the classroom. He missed Mizuki's subtle glare at Naruto as they both proceeded to enter the classroom, stepping around the dazed blond girl on the floor.

Reaching the desk in front of the classroom, Iruka grabbed his clipboard and cleared his throat, "Alright class, I'm pretty sure you all know what today is."

"Is it Friday, academic scented brick wall?" Ino mused curiously, still seeing stars.

Iruka's eyebrow twitched before he gestured for Mizuki to get Ino into her seat. Once Mizuki completed his task and returned to Iruka's side, Iruka continued on with explaining the agenda for today, "Today is the day you will all be assigned a jonin sensei. Well, with the exception of a few of you."

Sakura looked puzzled. What did he mean by a few of them are the exception, "Iruka-sensei, what do you mean with the exception of a few of us? Are some of us not going to be able to go on missions and stuff?" To finally become genin just to be denied the opportunity to do something meaningful? That wasn't too appealing.

Iruka pointed his pen at Sakura, "More like there's more of you then there are jonin available to be sensei. The teams are comprised of three genin and one jonin. Since there's more of you, some are going to be apprenticed under tokubetsu jonin."

Kiba liked the sound of that. An apprenticeship sounds waaay cooler than being on a team with others. You'd probably get more attention from a badass shinobi by being their only student than of you were one third of a squad. Rubbing his hands at the prospect of being a cool shinobi's protege, Kiba started plotting on all of the ways he could maximize his cool factor, "So who's gonna be an apprentice? If there isn't anyone set in stone, then I volunteer as tribute!"

"... It's already been finalized, Kiba. I like your gumption though, it's really nice." Iruka informed the boy. He leaned back against the desk as he continued, "But as it stands, I'm about to announce the teams. Team seven, Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, and Choji Akimichi. Your sensei will be Kakashi Hatake, so you guys will be in good hands."

Sasuke nodded, Choji munched on yet another delicious chip, and Sakura pumped her fist in the air victoriously, "Hell yeah, I get to be with Sasuke-kun! Suck on that Ino and all of you other non important girls!" The power of love answered her call and gave her a chance to get closer to Sasuke.

Dreams really do come true.

"Damn you, don't use my material like that!"

Sasuke on the other hand tried, but failed to fight an oncoming headache. Did he really have to put up with the pink haired annoyance until he advanced in ranking? They could have at least put the dobe on his team so there would be somebody he's familiar with.

Iruka was about to continue with the team placements, but he was interrupted by Sasuke putting his hand in the air. He pointed towards Sasuke with his clipboard, "Yes, Sasuke?"

"Is it too late to get somebody else ok my team? I'll trade anyone for Sakura." He stated with complete seriousness, causing Sakura to look completely downtrodden. That was pretty harsh. He was supposed to be just as happy as she was, not ready to pass her off so casually!

"Even me, Sasuke-kun?" Ino whispered seductively in Sasuke's ear, startling him yet again. How in the hell did they manage to get so close to him? Their stealth when it came to being as irritating as possible was simply phenomenal.

Eyebrow twitching, Sasuke removed the two arms draped around his neck while shaking Ino off of him, "Except you." He turned his head around to nod in Hinata's direction, getting a startled eep noise out of the shy Hyuuga, "Can Hinata be on my team instead? She's not annoying."

He then pointed at Tayuya who was rubbing Naruto's head, helping her closest friend ease the pain from his current headache, "Or Tayuya, she seems cool. Pretty much anyone that isn't Sakura or Ino."

"No Sasuke, the teams are final as of now. Now stop with all of that, that's no way to treat your new teammate." He reprimanded, giving the Uchiha a stern look. Hopefully his teamwork would not suffer due to him not wanting to work with Sakura.

"Now then, the next team is team eight. Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inuzuka. Your sensei will be Kurenai Yuhi."

"Awww yeah,I get to be on Hinata's team! She's cute as hell!" He turned around to wink suggestively at the Hyuuga, already attempting to put the moves on her.

Too bad that she was staring at Naruto longingly instead of paying attention to the dog boy's advancements, " _Naruto-kun, why couldn't we be on the same team? It could've brought us closer..."_ She sadly thought. Sakura got to be with her crush, why couldn't she? It just wasn't fair.

"Next team will be team ten, consisting of Naruto Uzumaki, Shikamaru Nara, and Ino Yamanaka. Your sensei will be Asuma Sarutobi. After I announce the rest of the teams, I will then move onto those who will be apprenticed." Iruka said. Looking at his clipboard, he couldn't help but feel yet another swell of pride emanate from within him.

All of his students were now official genin and they were on the path to greatness. Some were naturally going to move higher in the ranks, and some probably weren't going to go any higher than where they are now, but there was still that feeling of accomplishment that Iruka felt from being the person responsible for teaching them all the basics.

The joys of teaching, he supposed.

Tayuya, dressed in her dark red thigh shorts and fitted black long sleeved shirt, took a break from rubbing Naruto's head and used that hand to get Iruka's attention, "So I'm guessing that I'm an apprentice. Am I right?" It made sense, she wasn't grouped with anyone she was familiar with. The rest of the nobodies were kids not in clans, so they were more than likely going to be grouped together. Plus after doing a quick headcount, she realized that she was the odd man out.

Iruka nodded, "Right as rain. Want to take a stab at it and guess who's your sensei?"

Hearing this, Tayuya tapped her chin in thought. She pondered on who it could be for a couple of seconds before drawing a blank. She shrugged, "No idea. Who is it?"

The knocking on the door gave everyone momentary pause before a voice that Naruto and Tayuya recognized all too well mumbled out loud, "Why the hell am I knocking? It's a sliding door." With that said, the door slid open to reveal Anko dashing in towards Tayuya and Naruto at speeds that everyone couldn't keep up with.

Stopping in front of the two, Anko flashed them both a mischievous smirk before focusing on her new victim, "Hey there, _apprentice."_ That greeting just oozed bad vibes for Tayuya, making her skin crawl and all. What fucked up person decided that pairing Tayuya with her was a good idea? Do they not know of the evils she is capable of?

"Iruka-sensei, is it possible for me to just, you know... not have a sensei at all?"

"Nope. That's your sensei until further notice. You guys can go since Anko showed up early."

At that, Anko turned around and saluted Iruka before pointing her arm at a apprehensive Tayuya. Slithering out of her sleeve at speed, a sizeable python emerged from the clothing article and wrapped Tayuya up snugly. Anko flashed a hungry smirk, "Alright, fresh meat. Time to go spend some quality time with your good old sensei!" She happily exclaimed as she jumped directly out of the window, breaking through the glass and all.

Iruka facepalmed before shouting after her, "Damn it, Anko! You weren't supposed to crash through the windows until the exams!" Those costed a lot of money to get repaired.

"That's if they're even here!"

"There's a glass shard in my shoulder! It stings, you crazy bitch!"

"Good, the pain is a good indicator that you're alive! You should be more scared when you don't register pain!"

Naruto walked up to the broken window while looking at the retreating figures of Anko and Tayuya, smiling warmly, "I have a feeling they'll be great friends." He mused nonchalantly, choosing to ignore the fact that Anko was probably going to drive his best friend to the brink of insanity. They had a lot in common, being that they were both two females that were under Orochimaru's rule. They also had matching hickies, so that was another potential line of conversation.

He frowned at that train of thought, fists slightly clenched in anger due to painful memories.

 _"I'm going to kill that bastard for us, Tayuya. He'll never be able to harm another person like that once I'm done with him."_ He'd be damned if he died before making sure Orochimaru was a cold corpse going straight to hell. He has to pay for what he's done.

"Get from the window and back to your seat, Naruto." Mizuki sternly ordered, a slight trace of disgust evident in his voice that only Naruto picked up on. Mizuki didn't like Naruto for whatever reason, and Naruto returned his sentiments with gusto. Anytime Mizuki found himself on the end of what everyone else perceived to be a sudden case of bad luck, Naruto always seemed to be in a extra chipper mood.

They could never blame anything on him, so nobody ever suspected a thing. Maybe Mizuki himself did, but who gave a shit?

Strolling back to his seat, Naruto noticed Ino hovering over his spot, seemingly out of her Iruka induced daze. He tilted his head, "What's up?"

Ino looked him in the eye as she mentally sighed. Why couldn't she get Sasuke instead? Now she got the blond wonder and the laziest sloth on the planet instead. Crossing her arms, she nodded in his general direction, "We're teammates now, dumb dumb."

"I know that much, what I do wanna know is where our sensei is." Naruto mused. Everyone else began to have their sensei come to pick them up, so where the hell was he?

Iruka chuckled at that, "Don't worry Naruto, I'm sure your sensei will be here shortly. If anyone needs to get comfy and prepared for a wait, it's Sasuke's team." Having Kakashi as a sensei meant only one thing.

If you were late yourself, you deserved to have your ass kicked since Kakashi might as well have been the prime example of the saying "better late then never".

Sakura had a puzzled look on gee face, "Why is that? Is our sensei on a mission or something?" She got a head shake in response from the scarred man, "Probably not. Who knows what that man is doing."

"Maybe he's lost along the road of life again." Mizuki suggested as he made quotation marks for that statement, obviously not being serious.

"Or maybe he saw a black cat and took the long way around." Iruka playfully chimed, shaking his head at the thought. That was arguably one of Kakashi's worst excuses simply due to the sheer stupidity of it. There's no way a ninja could be held up by a mere cat and forced to walk a longer way in order to avoid it when they could just simply traverse the rooftops.

"Or maybe he found an extra steamy section in that book of his. Maybe he's having some one on one time at home..." Mizuki hinted, snickering as his implications went over a majority of the remaining students' heads. Iruka smacked him on the head with his clipboard.

"Behave Mizuki, there's kids present."

Shikamaru, with his head still on the desk, cracked an eye open once he heard footsteps at the door. Standing at the door was a bearded man with tan skin, spiky short hair, and a cigarette lazily resting in between his teeth. He leaned against the door frame, "Team ten, meet me down the street at that training ground. Hope you're ready for a quick test..." With that cryptic order, the man promptly vacated the premises.

Shikamaru groaned as he stood up. Should he really go through with this?

He could just stay in the academy forever, floating by without any real responsibility. His thoughts were interrupted by Naruto deliberately bumping into him with a knowing smile, "Let's go."

Crap. He just had to be paired with two psychos. One was boy crazy, the other was a ball of chaos incarnate with a deadly penchant for combat. The latter one was probably going to insure that he reaches great heights or dies trying.

Troublesome.

X.X.X

(Training Grounds)

"Hey Naruto, are you gonna let your hair grow out? Cause if so, I say you should put it in a pony tail." Ino casually suggested as she played in Naruto's spiky golden locks. They were currently seated in a forested training grounds, with Ino and Naruto at the base of a tree. Shikamaru climbed up into the branches in order to get some last minute shut eye before their sensei Asuma came back.

Naruto idly blew a strand of unruly hair out of his face as he cradled a kunai in his lap. He's never had to use one since he's his own armory, so it was interesting to hold it himself. He gave Ino's statement a healthy amount of contemplation, "Maybe. Having a lot of hair sounds like a lot of work though."

Ino poked his scalp repeatedly, "So? You're a ninja, you're destined to face hard things in life."

"I'd rather you take the hard things instead of me."

"Stop flirting you two. Its showtime." Asuma said as he strolled into the clearing, his lit cigarette alerting everyone to his scent. He looked at the two blonds on his team before cutting his attention upwards, "Shikamaru, I know you're not asleep so get on down here."

A lazy hand waved the jonin off, "Do I really have to?" Couldn't he just lounge about for five more minutes? It wouldn't be detrimental to anyone there.

Asuma shrugged his shoulders as his face took on a more determined aesthetic, "You don't have to at all. Feel free to stay up there..." He snapped his fingers at Naruto, tilting his head towards Shikamaru. He's heard that Naruto knew how to light a fire under one's ass, and was the go to person if you needed somebody when dealing with the Uchiha or the Nara.

Receiving the message, Naruto got to work and began climbing the sturdy fauna, making sure to be as stealthy as possible.

Shikamaru frowned at the casual dismissal that Asuma gave him, not expecting the man to leave him to his own devices so easily...

...

"Alright, I'm getting down. No need to be annoying." Shikamaru growled as he glared at the hand inching it's way towards his face. The hand paused before waving as it disappeared out of view. Groaning, Shikamaru rolled off of the branch, landing on the ground below in a crouching position.

Asuma came to stand in front of the boy, rubbing his pineapple styled head, "Alright, now that sleeping beauty has decided to grace us with his presence, introductions are in order. Go first, Shikamaru. Name, likes and dislikes, hobbies, and aspirations."

Shaking the hand off of his head, Shikamaru clicked his teeth, "Troublesome. Let's just get this over with." He sighed with a roll of his eyes. Nobody was prepared for his next course of action...

He fell directly backwards onto the ground, a large thump sounding out to enhance the sudden action.

Ino flinched, "Are you okay? Trying to look cool after you're fresh off of an injury shouldn't be the highest thing on your to do list." His back had to hurt from that impact. That's what he gets for trying to be cool.

"Sleep is the highest thing on my to do list, and this didn't hurt." He shot back, "But anyway, my name is Shikamaru Nara, I like to sleep, I dislike exerting energy, hearing my mom nag all of the time, and dealing with that idiot on a consistent basis." He lazily drawled, pointing at a grinning Naruto.

"Hobbies, sleeping, occasional training, and hanging out with said idiot, Sasuke, and my friend Choji."

Naruto beamed at that, pointing at himself with a wicked grin, "I feel so loved." He dreamily sighed as he hugged himself, garnering collective face palms from those present within the clearing.

"Aspirations, hmm... maybe to live to a comfortable age, have a family, settle down, and watch clouds all day." He concluded with a shrug while ignoring the jinchuuriki's one-man love fest. Why couldn't Naruto just be a normal guy?

Asuma nodded, not surprised at the Nara's lazy demeanor and lack of motivation for anything. It was expected since that was pretty much the average Nara male in a nutshell.

High potential, ridiculous amounts of intellect, and the lowest amounts of motivation possible. Maybe enough to stay alive in the field, but that's about it.

At least the males weren't too lazy to help keep the clan populated.

Ino stuck a thumb to her chest, "I'm going next!"

"No complaints here, go ahead." Asuma encouraged. He couldn't tell who was more spirited, her or Naruto.

"I'm Ino Yamanaka. My likes are working in the flower shop with Daddy, shopping, and planning on how to get Sasuke-kun to marry me!" She stated with absolute conviction, her eyes flaming with the fiery passion of unrequited love. She knew that one day Sasuke would eventually fall head over heels for the platinum blond, and she was fully prepared to spend the rest of her life with her future husband.

She'd be sure to rub it all in Sakura's fat forehead too.

"Sasuke might not marry you, I still think he's gay..." Naruto taunted, rubbing his chin in deep thought. He had to cut his train of thought short to dodge a punch from Ino, who was visibly annoyed at the fact that Naruto attempted to cut down her dreams, "Don't interrupt me! Just for that, you're now on my list of dislikes! Right beside forehead."

Crossing her arms, she continued with her introduction while staring heatedly at her irritating teammate. She had something planned for him, "My hobbies include working at my family's flower shop, competing with forehead for Sasuke's love, and as of today, plotting on how to make you suffer. Suffer I say!" She hissed, pointing directly at Naruto. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.

Naruto smiled in return, wanting to proceed with the taunting, "People have tried, and the last one to say something like that isn't a factor anymore. I hope you got the skill to back up your claims, cause it's going to take more than just a cute face to bring me down." He's been teased by a grown woman with way more allure than Ino anyway. Not that she didn't have some kind of affect on him, its just that he wasn't that thrown off by her.

Everyone else in the group wore various expressions of shock at that statement.

Shikamaru had a feeling of what was going to happen next, _"Troublesome."_

Asuma also had an inkling of what was going to happen next, and made a mental note to take advantage of the potential shenanigans in the future.

He also idly wondered how that person Naruto mentioned died, _"Living under Orochimaru must've toughened him up already... plus that recent little snafu with the Jinpachi guy probably hardened him and Shikamaru as well..."_

Ino however, saw a potential chance to flip the tables onto Naruto. She pounced onto her target like a female lioness before going in for the kill, "Aww, you think I have a cute face? That's so cute Naruto!" She squealed, rubbing her cheek directly against Naruto's. She wasn't done yet, as she began to whisper lowly in Naruto's ear, sounding like the most mischievous purr the jinchuuriki has ever heard, "Too bad I'm all for Sasuke. But who knows, maybe play your cards right, and we can have a little fun..." She trailed off, expecting him to fly off the handle at any moment now.

Any second now.

...

Umm, why wasn't he blushing furiously and succumbing to her feminine wiles? He thought she was cute for crying out loud!

Naruto side eyed her blankly before smirking and crossing his arms triumphantly, "Nice try, but it's not gonna be that easy for you." He squeezed her sides in order to get a reaction out of her, beating her at her own game.

Not wanting to be tickled after being shot down so easily, Ino sprinted away to stand behind Asuma, using him as a buffer between the two warring blonds, "This isn't over, Blondie!"

"It isn't, but just know that I'm in the lead right now." The Uzumaki survivor factually stated, starting a rather boastful victory dance directed towards his female comrade.

Shikamaru idly wondered where Naruto learned to dance like that.

 _"Who knew that Naruto could cut a rug?"_

Asuma was amused at the little competition they had going for now, but they still had an agenda for today, "Alright you two, you can mess around with each other all you want later. Right now, it's business time. Naruto, you're up for introductions."

"Alrighty then, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, resident master of being awesome!"

"Quit lying!" Ino snapped.

"Sometime in the near future, you can add Snake Hunter to the eventual list of badass epithets given to my by my enemies." He added as an afterthought, completely ignoring Ino. That was oddly specific.

Shikamaru casted a curious glance towards the current speaker. He found himself doing that a lot lately. Every time he felt like he found something out about Naruto, three more things popped up and provided him more questions than answers. Troublesome enigmatic blonds, they'll be the death of him one of these days, "Why Snake Hunter?"

"Deep, dark rooted reasons." Damn cryptic statements.

Asuma caught onto what he was saying. That was a pretty tall task Naruto was taking on, since an S ranked shinobi like Orochimaru was pretty far up the food chain. But hearing that amount of conviction and resolute determination in his voice made Asuma believe that he could do it eventually.

He was already starting to like these kids.

"My hobbies include training in my clan arts, tormenting, I mean motivating my friends to get better, and being around all of my precious people. I dislike legendary sadistic dickheads, Danzo-teme, losing, and people who judge others without getting to know them first. Aspirations... to become THE, not one of the, legendary shinobi!"

Seeing where his team stood so far, Asuma nodded before clapping his hands together, grabbing everyone's attention, "Cool. Now that that's out of the way, who's ready for their test?" Time for the fun part.

"Yeah, I'm ready for anything!"

"Do we have to?" Smart people always asked questions.

"Shikamaru, you're gonna do this! I refuse to be on a team that lags behind forehead's team!"

"Troublesome woman, who cares?" Certainly not him. He didn't have to be drawn into their little war over Sasuke just cause she wanted to boss him around.

"I do! Now get your ass in gear damn it, or else!" Ino threatened, her premature intimidation factor kicking in.

"Or else what?" Shikamaru dryly asked, not really afraid of anything she could cook up. At the most, she'd probably just get Naruto to up his daily harassment of the poor boy, but that was actually manageable. Those surprise training exercises were doing wonders for him.

Not expecting him to engage in a stand off with her, Ino tapped her foot on the grass as she thought of something that Shikamaru would fear.

Extra training? Probably not.

Corporal punishment? Maybe. Shikamaru looked pretty flaky, he probably wouldn't be able to take a hit.

What made the pineapple headed boy tick?

...

Despite her rabid fangirl habits, Ino was actually pretty sharp, and proved it with the following threat.

"I'll tell your mom you're slacking off, and get Asuma-sensei to convince her to let Naruto spend a week in your clan compound. Think of all the training and various hijinks that could take place, hehehe..." She devilishly chuckled, rubbing her hands in satisfaction at Shikamaru's rapidly paling expression. She got him hook, line, and sinker.

He turned to Asuma with a grim facade, "I know about you and that red eyed lady. Don't fall in line with her plans, I won't put your business out there. Now what's the test?"

Damn, the kid knows? That blasted Nara intellect was something serious. But then again, it was more than likely speculation, so it wasn't like he had anything concrete, "No idea what you're talking about, Shika. Now then, the test is simple." He distanced himself from the curious genin, hopping up onto an oversized tree branch, "There's two sheets of chakra paper." He produced a sheet for the sake of having examples, "Get these sheets from me so we can learn about your chakra natures. Usually fresh academy students don't learn this stuff until they're chunin at least, but I'm gonna switch it up."

Naruto glanced at his superior with a bit of skepticism, "You said there's only two, though. Somebody's gonna be the odd man out, so what about them?"

"Yeah sensei! What about the leftover person?" Ino questioned.

"They automatically fail. And by fail I mean that your sorry ass gets to be an academy student again." Automatically fail? Hell no, that wasn't fair to any of them.

"You guys got til I'd say... err, noon." He practically vanished in mid air in front of the kids with no further explanation, alerting them to the fact that the test has begun.

Squinting his eyes in deep thought, Naruto scratched the back of his head. He was eventually joined by Ino who walked to his side in order to mimic him.

"Childish." He pouted.

"Childish." She shot back, mimicking his voice and posture.

"Can you two please stop flirting for five minutes? We gotta get through this little test." Shikamaru grunted as he sat down in lotus, fixing his fingers into an odd position. He had to think about how to work this out, because it wasn't making sense.

The way he was wording the challenge made it seem like putting them into teams was completely redundant. They had to split up so only two people could get the papers and stay on the team... but why were they placed onto traditional three man cells?

Realizing that Shikamaru insinuated that Ino was flirting with Naruto caused her to turn her back on the boys. She haughtily stuck her nose up into the air, "I wouldn't flirt with that idiot if he were the last guy on the planet. Besides, I wouldn't be trying to flirt with any other guy cause I only have eyes for one. Gotta be faithful to my Sasuke-kun." That was some serious dedication to somebody who could barely tolerate being within thirty feet of you.

Naruto raised a weak finger in order to burst Ino's metaphorical bubble, "How can you be faithful to someone that isn't even with you? You're better off training and getting better instead of trying to make Sasuke fall in love with you when it's obvious he don't want you." Her mind was hyper focused on one thing, and it wasn't a good thing either.

She needed a healthy dose of reality. A ninja distracted and not trying to improve is a ninja preemptively picking out their casket.

Ino waved her hand dismissively, "Details, schmetails. I'll be good enough to kick Sakura's ass and win Sasuke's heart in no time!" She said as if it were a universal fact.

The sky was blue, fire was hot, and Sasuke was gonna love her one way or another.

She punched her fist into her open palm with determination, sparing her teammates firey glances, "Now then, onto this business. I don't know about you two, but I'm not going back to the academy! I'll be the laughingstock of the whole village! Plus that'll give Sakura an advantage over me! So lets talk strategy..." She shifted a pointed finger back and forth between Shikamaru and Naruto, one eye squinched while she was thinking, "Who's taking one for the team?"

They both deadpanned. Really Ino?

"I'm guessing you didn't look underneath the underneath Ino." Naruto assumed, a large sweatdrop cascading down his head. The girl didn't even bother to try to think about the situation, she just got fired up over the thought of Sakura moving on in the ranks with a better chance of winning Sasuke as if he were a prize.

Adolescent objectification aside, all she had to do was look at the facts and piece together the puzzle.

Shikamaru grunted as he got out of his sitting position to go stand with his team. Seeing that Ino had it all wrong, he decided to clue her in on what was really going on, "Get your head out of Sasuke's ass and your own ass. Think Ino, I know you're smarter than this." He growled rather bluntly, alerting Ino to a seriousness found in his voice and Naruto's gaze that she didn't think either one of them possessed. They both had a look in their eyes that she thought that only Sasuke would possess.

She shivered. They were no longer the blond annoyance and lethargic sloth she was familiar with in the academy.

They were fully fledged shinobi now.

"What do you mean the underneath?" Ino shifted nervously. She felt like the odd man out now. There's something here apparently that she didn't catch.

"Its pretty simple really. We're a team of three genin against a jonin. He said only two of us get a sheet, while one automatically fails. Do you think you stand a chance against him? Could you last long enough by yourself against a high level shinobi?" Naruto calmly explained, gazing at Ino with grim seriousness.

Shikamaru subtly shook his head. Ino hasn't seen actual combat. Asuma was their sensei so of course he'd be holding back, but nevertheless he was still in a whole different league compared to them all. The only one out of them that could maybe do something against him or at least force him to take them seriously was Naruto...

"So the whole situation is pretty much impossible?!" Ino yelled as she tugged on her hair in a distraught manner. There's no way that they went through four years in the academy just to get set up to fail.

"If we take him own by ourselves, yeah. How do I put this... he's a jonin, Ino. He'd fold Sasuke in half several times over without trying." Shikamaru gave an example.

Ino's eyes mimicked a deer's caught in headlights. She then grew angry and attempted to strike Shikamaru down, "I'm not some idiot, I know that sensei could easily beat Sasuke!" In reality. In her dreams however, Sasuke was the human pinnacle of perfection. Nobody could beat him.

Her sloppy hook thrown was casually dodged by Shikamaru, who scoffed at the flimsy attack, "That was a terrible punch."

"So Shika, I say we just go ahead and tell her."

"Troublesome. She should be able to figure it out on her own, but for now I agree."

Naruto turned to face Ino, "Nobody is taking one for the team. The whole point of this is to work _as_ a team. Seriously, you think any of us could beat a jonin on our own?" He ignored the fact that he killed a jonin himself in the past. His ego was still swollen from that whole ordeal, but his loss at the same time humbled him slightly.

Not enough though.

"I guess not. So we're going to do this as a team, huh?"

"Yeah. And plus, just because there's two sheets of chakra paper, doesn't mean we all can't use them." Naruto added, inwardly facepalming for not realizing it earlier.

Ino was in the process of hyping herself up for the oncoming trials she was about to face, but was broken out of it by Naruto's previous statement, "How?" She really needed to start looking at the big picture if she was going to do well in ninja life.

"Paper, Ino. It rips..." Naruto said as him and Shikamaru began to walk in a random direction deeper into the forest. The two boys pointed upwards for several seconds before taking off into the trees, getting Ino to hastily attempt to keep up with them.

Shit, she heard that Naruto was a little fast, but Shikamaru? He was supposed to live up to his sloth moniker for crying out loud!

The trio began cutting through the canopy at a decent speed in search of Asuma. They would have been moving just a bit faster, but Ino didn't have the same amount of constant torture, I mean training, as Shikamaru and Naruto did, so they kept that in mind and didn't just blaze through.

Shikamaru stopped on a branch while signaling for his team to stop as well. Once everyone landed beside him, he cupped his hands around his mouth in order to project his voice easier, "Hey Asuma-sensei! Are we supposed to be using lethal force?" No answer.

Eventually, they could hear Asuma's voice from all directions, frightening Ino and causing her to look around in paranoia and fear, "Yup. You guys aren't good enough to try to stick to non-lethal tactics when dealing with me yet." A couple more seconds of a thick silence went by before his voice came back, "And no Ino, I'm not using lethal force against y'all." The disembodied voice drawled.

Ino sighed happily, wiping a thin coat of sweat from her forehead. She really thought that they were gonna die today. Nobody was prepared for a deathmatch with their sensei fresh out the gate, especially not her.

Naruto nodded at hearing that. He just hoped that he didn't go overboard with it and accidentally kill their sensei for real. Suddenly grabbing his head and chest, he panted heavily for several seconds before a shit eating grin teleported onto his face.

The maniacal expression present on the whisker marked boy's face threw Ino all the way off. She poked him in the temple twice, "Stop being weird, fool! Now's not the time for you to go crazy on us!"

Shikamaru on the other hand knew something was up, "What happened?"

Naruto jumped up in pure happiness, spinning around and dancing, "I love my clones!" Ecstatic, yet cryptic statement aside, he decided to give a hint as to why he was happy, "Asuma sensei is going to regret putting a green light on himself..." He evily snickered as he took off from the branch, flying through the air with new found vigor. Time to test out his new jutsu, and what better way than to try it out on his sensei? He could take it, he was skilled enough.

If he could try it out now, he'd be completely prepared to eradicate any threats that were foolish enough to be within close quarters of him.

He should've been prepared for the fierce blue ninja sandal crashing into his face, throwing his body completely backwards for a couple of surprise backflips. His impromptu aerial acrobatics were interrupted by two firm hands grabbing his ankles to flip him one more time for some extra momentum, before slinging him to the ground below.

Naruto impacted the ground hard enough to actually send a bit of rubble into the air. Wanting to get out of his newly made crater in the ground, Naruto leaned forward off of the ground to regain his bearings.

The weight of a grown man travelling at untraceable speeds crashed fully into his chest, two firm feet driving him further into the already dented earth with an audible thump and crack echoing out. The assailant hopped off of the blond spring board before ascending towards the tree that Shikamaru and Ino were still in.

"Shit!" Shikamaru cursed as he tackled Ino off of the branch. If the speeding figure flying towards them didn't warrant enough alarm before, the sudden flash of silver, which nine times out of ten belonged to a weapon they didn't want to be on the opposing end of, provided more than enough of a reason for Shikamaru to get him and Ino the hell out of dodge.

Hopping off of the doomed piece of nature in time, Shikamaru and Ino were rewarded the sight of the twenty foot thick branch being sliced cleanly through, sending it toppling down to the forest floor below, just like them.

Before they could go splat onto the ground, they were grabbed each by two different sets of arms. Their saviors rushed futher into the forest, beating a hasty retreat from the fallen tree.

Ino shivered once she processed everything that just took place.

Naruto being basically sniped out of mid air.

Shikamaru tackling her off of the branch before the human projectile that clipped Naruto took out that branch as if it were a pair of scissors slicing through a sheet of paper.

Two mops of spiky blond hair hauling ass through the forest with her and Shikamaru on their backs.

Wait, spiky blond hair?

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, what is it?" He answered back as he skillfully traversed the forest floor, not once slowing down. He had to get them to a safe zone first before they could even think about recuperating.

"What the fuck was that back there?!" A screeching Ino exclaimed with bewilderment shining in her blue eyes. This was supposed to be a genin test, not a damn war zone!

"Asuma-sensei." Naruto replied cooly, obviously not as shaken as Ino was.

"I thought he wasn't supposed to be using lethal force against us!"

"I wasn't." Shit!

Both clones of Naruto jumped up instantly to avoid the two slashes threatening to cut all of them down. The trees and bushes around them took the attack for them, causing the poor, defenseless local flora to come toppling down in a spectacular fashion. Ear pounding sounds of aged, overgrown wood impacting the solid earth below shook the kids to their very core.

Ino broke out in yet another fit of sweats once she realized that that could've been her if it weren't for Naruto.

On their way up, Ino realized that Shikamaru and the clone carrying him didn't go that high, opting to instead hang onto the tree that was rapidly approaching the ground. If the sight wasn't crazy enough for her, she was in for a rude awakening once she registered the droves of Narutos falling towards Asuma, hands pointed out, "Tenshi Sendan (Ten Finger Drilling Bullets)!"

An indescribable amount of what she thought were bones flew towards their sensei at damn near untraceable speeds, who's eyes widened to comical proportions, "What the fuck, Naruto?!" The alarmed Sarutobi hysterically questioned as he dove to the side to avoid being turned into Swiss cheese. The projectiles peppered the ground with relentless fury, tearing the earthen floor asunder with childish ease. Dirt and debris flew about, creating a nice little cloud of dust to obscure everyone's vision for a moment or two. He knew that the boy was dangerous, but this?

No wonder he killed that jonin from Mizu.

If Asuma wasn't so caught up in accepting the fact that Naruto was all for using lethal force against him and trying not to die, he would have noticed a speeding Shikamaru being sent to cut him off. Landing on top of a fallen log, Shikamaru quickly said a prayer to thank the holy piece of wood for giving him an advantageous position to keep the ball rolling before flashing through hand seals, "Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Imitation Technique)!" Shikamaru's shadow seemed to suddenly gain a form of sentience before rushing towards Asuma, using the ongoing chaos to slither his way undetected.

The doppelganger holding Ino saw opportunity in the form of Shikamaru's shadow, and sought to capitalize it.

"Use your family's mind jutsu on Asuma-sensei!" The clone ordered as he threw the Yamanaka directly into the fray. She wasn't prepared for the sudden course of action, but was able to heed the word of her teammate and began the necessary hand seals needed to fulfill her role in this on the fly strategy. There didn't seem to be any time for hesitation in this little genin test from hell, and she'd be damned if she didn't pull her weight.

"Shintenshin no Jutsu (Mind Body Switch Technique)!"

Damn it, it was a trap! Naruto herded Asuma right into Ino's crosshairs. But then again, the Yamanaka jutsu travelled slowly, so it wasn't too big a deal. He liked the fact that they were working together, it seems that they realized the purpose of the test.

He probably did go a bit overboard with how intense he started out, but hey. They were shinobi and the battlefield wasn't meant for taking it easy on people. You either adapted and acted accordingly, or you got a sneak peek preview of what it looks like on the other side.

Plus, if he was gonna start them out with something above their level, he might as well introduce them to some combat above their level.

Gearing himself to leap out of the way, he frowned at the fact that he couldn't move...

He would have facepalmed if the shadow connected to his shadow allowed for it. Fuck, How could he forget about Shikamaru?

"Alright, I got him Naruto. Go retrieve the papers."

Two hands popped up from out of the ground beneath Asuma's feet, revealing Naruto to be underground nearly the whole time. Once the blond pulled himself out of the ground, he inspected his sensei, checking every pouch and pocket available on his person. Eventually finding what he was looking for, Naruto spun around and displayed the two pieces of paper triumphantly, beaming with pride at a successful endeavor, "We got it, guys!"

"Good job you three, you pass." Asuma casually stated before clicking his teeth at Naruto. The bone wielding boy turned around to address the bearded man, "Yeah, sensei?"

Asuma simply stared at the boy blankly for several seconds before winking, seductively smiling, and flicking his tongue back and forth in a suggestive manner, disturbing Naruto to the point where he went to a nearby bush to throw up.

"C'mon Naruto, I know you think I'm hot." More intense vomiting sounds served as the appropriate response to that foul statement.

Eyebrows twitching so hard it looked like they were about to jump off of his face, Shikamaru tried to purge his mind of that unholy interaction between sensei and pupil. He knew Ino was responsible for it, but still.

"Stop scarring Naruto for life Ino!" And him too.

"Too late, I'm already fubar in the head." Naruto corrected, wiping any leftover throw up from his lower face.

'Asuma' sighed dramatically before smirking in a sinister manner, "Fine," He turned around, presented his rear to the kids, and gave it a good smack, sending Naruto right back to the bush to rid his stomach of anything else that managed to stay in there, "I'm done messing with Naruto for now."

The sounds of rustling branches and leaves alerted everyone's attention behind them, as Ino pulled herself out from the shrubbery that had the decency to cushion her landing. She was a little banged up from the rather sudden crash landing, but at least she came through in the clutch moments that she was needed in.

Besides, its not like they had the time and leeway to setup some comfy landing pads for her fall. She wished they did though, her ribs were throbbing really bad. Dusting her body off and removing any excess leaves and the like from her person, she weakly pumped a victorious fist in the air, "That was intense... but we pulled through in the end. All credit goes to me for being clutch as hell!"

Ino's ego swelling was interrupted as she was abruptly picked up and shaken by Asuma, who was thankfully in charge of his body again, "Don't EVER do that again! Not even the first week has passed and I already feel responsible for messing a child's head up!" He eventually set the disoriented pony tailed girl down, before calming down.

He signalled for all of his new munchkins to gather around, "Come on over here kids, you've earned this." He said cooly, somehow conveying a sense of pride with the aloof tone he used. Kakashi's mastery of the art of detachment was clearly rubbing off on the Sarutobi.

Producing three sheets of chakra paper, he smiled down at each of the kids, "Since you guys were able to handle that little ordeal, I guess a little bit of high level training is in order. Get used to expecting the unexpected, nine times out of ten things in the shinobi world never go the way you expect them to. C ranked baby missions could easily flip on you and turn into a life or death A ranked situation." Naruto and Shikamaru nodded grimly, knowing that that whole statement was nothing but pure truth. They've already had their little sample platter of just how crazy shit could get out in the field.

In comparison to Asuma, they've only had their toes dipped in the grimy waters of shinobi life.

He's probably been deep sea diving in it, witnessing countless numbers of abnormalities and morally deprived situations. Completely desensitized to the horrors found within the world.

"So sensei, did the other teams have a test like that?" Ino asked as she slowly moved towards the Sarutobi, clutching her stomach and ribs. If that was how a introductory test was going to be for everyone, she could only imagine the mayhem that could take place when someone was actually trying to kill her.

Asuma shrugged as he handed ech of them a paper, "No idea. The whole point of the tests were to get you all in the mindset of working together in order to complete the mission, but we didn't all have to go nuts on you guys." He just wanted to flex his muscles and show them just how strong they could get one day.

"Just decided to damn near kill us for the fun of it." Shikamaru dryly pieced together, clicking his teeth in a not so subtle display of annoyance when Asuma nodded his head with a content smile. Troublesome sensei.

Rubbing his hands together, he then shifted the focus of the conversation to the chakra papers that were just handed out, "Now then kids, channel your chakra through the papers."

All three of them nodded their heads before channeling their chakra.

Naruto's paper sliced in half cleanly.

Shikamaru's paper became wet as if he dipped it into a body of water.

Ino's wrinkled up.

Asuma raised an eyebrow at Naruto's chakra nature turning out to be wind, _"Shadow clones, arguably the ultimate taijutsu kekkei genkai, and now he has a rare wind affinity? Damn, I've hit the jackpot."_ UnlessyoulivedinKazenoKuni _,_ having a natural affinity for wind wasn't something common.

The possibilities here for just Naruto alone were already mind boggling to Asuma. He didn't even get to Shikamaru and Ino's potential yet, but it was crazy enough to just ponder on the routes Naruto could take.

Naruto glanced at the two sheets floating towards the ground before smirking, "Wind affinity you say? I just keep getting better and better!" He exclaimed with a cocky swagger present in his gait as he sauntered around his team. It's like somebody decided to just keep blessing the jinchuuriki with more and more available avenues to murder his enemies. First a new devastating jutsu, then this?

Kami was so good to him.

"My paper crinkled. Is that lighting?" Ino pondered as she studied the parchment. Apparently Naruto had a cool affinity, but lighting was soo much cooler than wind.

After all, it was wind. What was he gonna do, blow a gentle breeze on his enemies until they die?

"Yes Ino, that's lightning. Seems pretty interesting for you to have that chakra nature." Ino had some serious potential too.

Paralyze somebody then mind fuck them to the point of no return. Sounded like a good plan.

"And I got water... yay." Kami, that kid's lack of enthusiasm for pretty much anything was almost downright depressing. How he managed to showcase less excitement than a tree was beyond Asuma.

Seeing that all of them knew what their affinities were, Asuma clapped his hands together, "Good, everybody knows their most potent chakra natures. I'm gonna give you each an exercise to start practicing on it, and that'll be it for the day. Any questions?"

"What's so good about wind chakra again? Like, it's just wind..." Ino asked with an obvious tinge of skepticism in her tone. What was the big deal? She wasn't seeing anything cool about it.

Fire burned things.

Earth was made for blunt force trauma.

You could drown somebody with water.

Electrocution was the name of the game with lightning chakra.

Wind... yeah, she had nothing.

Smirking at that statement, Asuma merely pointed to all of the damage he caused with those attacks he was using, "Well for starters, I went straight through that tree using wind chakra..." He had to jump to a nearby tree in order to avoid the suddenly manic jinchuuriki taking his legs out in an attempt to attach himself to his badass sensei. He simply latched onto the tree instead, looking up at the Sarutobi with a vacant, disturbing look on his face, "You really did that with wind chakra?"

"...Yes."

"Teach meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

"Stop being weird and I will." It was creepy how quick the blond changed up on him.

"Deal. Now gimme exercise!"

"Do I need to catch you with my shadow and make you slap yourself Naruto?"

"Do that again and I'll duct tape you to one of the deer in your clan compound again. During mating season too."

"You wouldn't... oh Kami, how could I forget who I'm talking to? Asuma-sensei, you're on your own."

"Thanks Shika." Asuma snorted as he descended down, being careful not to make any sudden movements once he touched the grass beneath them. Naruto still had that eerie look on his face, and it reminded him of a rabid animal that was ready to pounce at any second.

Asuma couldn't help but smile. His team was already interesting enough, and they were good company. He could see the three of them doing great things, maybe even becoming legendary ninja in their own ways.

He'd be there to help them every step of the way too.

"Alright guys, here's what each of you are gonna do for your natures."

X.X.X

(Two Weeks Later, Nami no Kuni)

"Kakashi-sensei!" A rather disheveled Sakura screamed as Kakashi promptly passed out. What was supposed to be a simple mission went straight to hell.

All they were supposed to do was escort a bridge builder back to his country and watch over him while he completes the bridge that his village so desperately needed. It wasn't a military village, so the highest threat that would show up on paper would probably be a rag tag group of bandits or maybe the occasional shinobi.

Sounds like an easy job, right?

Wrong.

Why the hell were two members of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist running around the island? Why did they decide to take up a job to kill the bridge builder?

Why were their swords so damn crazy? Seriously, a sword with a nigh infinite amount of explosive tags?! That shouldn't even be considered a sword anymore.

If anything, it could serve as a demolition specialist's wet dream, but that's beside the point.

The crazy thing is is that they survived that ordeal somehow. The two swordsmen were absolutely relentless with attacking Kakashi, forcing him to pull out his Sharingan that was hidden underneath his headband usually. Even with his dojutsu out that puzzled Sakura, it was still a pretty uphill battle for the grey haired man. Up until a sharp whistle from the section of the forest that wasn't absolutely decimated by all of the explosions called the two monsters in human skin off, Sakura really believed that she was going to die that day.

It was even more puzzling since the one with the explosion fetish knew who Sasuke was. Throughout the whole battle, he kept taunting Sasuke, threatening to finish the job and hunt down him, a spiky pony tailed boy she assumed to be Shikamaru, and some kekkei genkai wielding jinchuuriki.

What was a jinchuuriki?

She had no time to contemplate on that as her, Sasuke, and Kiba huddled around their fallen sensei. She put a finger to his neck to check his pulse, fearing the worse possible outcome.

"Sensei can't be dead..." Kiba trailed off disbelievingly. After all of those crazy jutsu and close calls he went through, there was no way that he could suddenly just stop and kick the bucket right then and there.

"He's not!" Sakura exclaimed, letting loose a sigh of relief.

Inwardly glad that their teacher isn't dead yet, Sasuke decided to serve as the voice of reality, "Good. Unfortunately though, we're still out in the open with our client and an injured comrade. We've got to get out of dodge." He signalled for Kiba to help lift the man, but was interrupted by the bridge builder placing a hand on his shoulder.

An obviously aged man with an aroma of alcohol about him, the bespectacled client had grey hair and a grey beard, wore a sleeveless black v neck shirt, tan pants, and some sandals. He leaned down after placing his hand on the raven haired boy's shoulder, "No you two, I'll carry him back. You three have the combat experience, so you'll just have to watch our backs while I carry him to my house."

It made sense, but still, "Tazuna-san, are you sure you can carry him?" Sakura asked.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about me little girl, you three just worry about making sure we get there in one piece." He shot back as he placed the downed Hatake onto his shoulders. A weak gasp from Kakashi sent a sense of shock through the group, "Ho-Hold on... let me call for back up..." He needed to. The first encounter was close enough for them. In his quite humble opinion, Kakashi was sure that he could take both of the swordsmen down if he were by himself and didn't have to worry about any collateral damage or stray jutsu taking out his kids or client on accident.

But unfortunately, this wasn't that kind of ordeal. He's faced down completely suicidal missions before and came out on top, but that was when there wasn't anyone with him. He had to keep everyone safe, and what better way to do that than to call for some assistance?

Somehow managing enough strength to complete the necessary hand seals, Kakashi used some leftover blood from his previous battle and called out his jutsu, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique)!"

A small cloud of smoke poofed into existence before revealing a small brown pug that had a slightly lazy expression, "Yo!" He then actually got a look at Kakashi, and instantly showed signs of concern, "Kakashi! What happened?!" Battered, cut, bleeding, and bruised, Kakashi has clearly seen better days.

"Oh you know, just another day at the office. No biggie." He replied nonchalantly before sliding his headband back down, "What I called you here for is so you can go send the message to Konoha that we need back-up.

"No shit, you look like hell."

"Hell must look exceptionally well then. Maybe he's been working out." Kakashi idly mused, getting his genin to look at the man with bewildered expressions.

"Uhh, sensei. The back up..."

"Oh right, right. Well off to it, Pakkun! Quicker they get here, the less likely that we'll all die sometime soon." Cavalier as ever. Good old Kakashi.

X.X.X

 **Here it is guys, some more plot advancement. That training test was a pure improvisation on my part. I don't know if you guys have noticed yet, but the fighting is a bit more intense earlier on than in canon.**

 **If I'm gonna power everyone up, I might as well put them through hell so it can be at least interesting.**

 **But yeah, read and review! Help me grow better! Feel free to ask me stuff! Never eat from the salad bar at Chuck e Cheese!**

 **Alright guys, until next time. SPVNK out.**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto franchise. I do however own this OC in my story though. Kishimoto could've gave me the rights for my birthday, but he's tripping.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 8: Nipples Can Grow Back**

 **X.X.X.**

(Forest of Death, Konohagakure)

It was just another bright, sunny day in Konoha.

The birds were chirping.

The sun was shining.

Young children were being put through their paces in order to become adorable little dealers of death.

Love was in the air.

Asuma and Ino were being particularly cautious as they travelled through the Forest of Death. Keeping to the branches to avoid any hostile encounters on the forest floor, the Sarutobi and his Yamanaka student were on the search for the remaining portion of their squad.

There was an urgent call for back up sent by Kakashi and his team, and what pretty much all of the other ninja skilled enough being tied up with their own missions and objectives, Asuma's team was the lucky selection to go out.

Asuma inwardly grunted at what they were about to be facing. Two of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist plus a mystery factor on their side? Normally he wouldn't be so worried about their chances, but then again he did have three genin to watch over as well. Their official mission objective was to provide the appropriate amounts of support and essentially keep any harm from befalling the bridge builder and to prevent any casualties.

The unspoken mission was to basically put the two down. Easier said and read on paper, but actually going through with it was a whole different story.

He wasn't even counting the mystery component to the mission either. They had no intel whatsoever on the enigma on their side, which was even more fuel to the tense fire that was close to being lit in the pit of the bearded smoker's stomach.

He knew that Naruto and Shikamaru to an extent were somewhat prepared for what was going to go down. It was Ino he was really concerned with.

The two males on his team weren't exactly as experienced as him, but at least they had a leg over Ino. She was completely green as grass, had no idea how actual field work went, and wasn't really the most combat oriented on the team. Hell, Shikamaru only beat her out in that department by a little bit.

Looking to his side in order to converse with his female student, he chose to put all of his worries to the side for now. They haven't even left yet, "Ino, how are you feeling about the mission?"

Not missing a beat, Ino kept advancing while she responded, "Not gonna lie to you sensei, it sounds pretty scary. To hear that Sakura's team had to deal with two people that strong... and now we gotta go deal with 'em too. Pretty heavy stuff..." She trailed off as they hopped off of yet another branch. She wasn't lying either.

Between splitting her attention with chasing after Sasuke and staying pretty, Ino knew honestly that she was lacking shinobi wise. Well, she was falling short more in the combat side of things. There were other aspects that she could be proud of and brag about all day.

She was smart. Not Shikamaru smart, but there was some confidence that her intelligence at least beat Naruto's.

She was pretty. Ugly kunoichi weren't really a thing.

And she was clan raised. Granted she wasn't a Senju, an Uchiha, hell, even an Uzumaki. But she had her pride in her family and their techniques.

Her recent training sessions with Naruto and Shikamaru helped her improve somewhat, but would it be enough? The basic academy cookie cutter jutsu, really basic academy taijutsu, and one clan jutsu that really wasn't fit for heavy duty fighting wasn't gonna cut it. Her strongest jutsu left her completely defenseless.

How was she supposed to stack up in the world right now? Especially compared to her teammates...

Frowning at the thought of her being the weakest link, she instantly shook her head, trying to get rid of those self downing thoughts. There were no weak links in their team.

Naruto was obviously the front line soldier with his crazy taijutsu and kekkei genkai. It still threw Ino for a loop every time she thought back to when he revealed to the team his background story. Being raised by a scary ass criminal with borderline creepy penchant for kids was bound to leave some sort of mental impression on a child. He didn't exactly go into detail about anything relating his early childhood, and any attempts to get him to talk only resulted in him running away. Well, he didn't call it running away.

By his definition, it was a tactical retreat. Best not to let the enemy interrogate you to gleam any information off of you.

Shikamaru was the brains of the crew. The tactician. He was the one who had the game plan for everything. They all knew that Shikamaru's brain was something seriously strong when he ran circles around everyone, even Asuma-sensei, for a whole day in shogi. Add on to the fact that he was making an active effort to shy away from the traditional stationary battle style that the Nara clan generally employed in favor of a more active style, and it was clear that he was on the path to be a notable shinobi.

Sighing at the thought of that crazy blond and lazy genius on her team, Ino let out a soft chuckle, "Asuma-sensei, how do you think we'll do?"

"Well, to be honest, I thin-"

Ino grabbed him, stopping him from completing his verbal opinion, before yanking him back with surprising strength to prevent Asuma being taken out by a speeding black blur that came from the forest floor below. It was shortly followed by another similar colored blur, then another one, then another one.

Somewhere in the world, a dj smiled and rubbed his hands in a completely satisfied fashion.

"So you're telling me... that there's a clone of yours that automatically has his own distinct personality?"

"Yes."

"How did that even happen?"

"I dunno to be honest, I just know that every time I make a clone he's automatically there."

"What's so special about him?"

"Highly aggressive and prone to spontaneous homicidal fits of rage."

"... Probably more homicidal than you, correct?"

"He's probably my suppressed homicidal maniac side given corporeal form."

"...Why do you even have a suppressed homicidal maniac side?"

"We've all been trained to murder grown men with our bare hands before we reach double digits in age. Abc's and cold blooded killing was part of our curriculum. The bigger question you should be asking is 'who doesn't have one'?"

"Troublesome..."

"...So you and your clones have collectively agreed to refer to this unique clone as Stabby."

"Yup! Look at Stabby go!"

"They can't catch me boss! I'm too awesome for 'em!"

"Troublesome again."

Those two voices are really familiar...

Ino peered over the branch to look down in the direction of where she heard the voices, and bit back a gasp. The clearing that Shikamaru and Naruto were currently occupying looked like absolute hell.

There were slash marks decorating the area beneath the boys' feet, craters punched indiscriminately into the ground, and... wait.

Was that a fallen tree? How in the hell did those two manage that?

The tree took up so much of her attention that she failed to notice the bones protruding out of Naruto's arm in a particular formation recede back into his skin...

It didn't escape Asuma's far more experienced eyes, however. The higher you got in skill as a shinobi, the more keen you were to the finer details into your surroundings. Not noticing that little broken twig beside a bush or that suspicious patch of grass is all it takes for someone to slip up and die.

 _"Those holes and slash marks... Naruto, what have you been up to?"_

A pop above Asuma and Ino served as a indicator that one of the clones popped. On the forest floor, Naruto's head homed in on their location, a warm smile shining at them, "Hi, guys! Quit being nosy and come on down here!" He invited while waving his hands.

Asuma and Ino obliged his request, hopping down from their elevated perch to join their teammates. Looking around in awe, Ino gazed upon the damage that was present here, "Alright, I'll bite. What the hell were you two doing?"

"Training/Experimenting." Was the simultaneous answer. Experimenting? That didn't sound good. Especially since it came from the jinchuuriki with self admitted suppressed homicidal tendencies.

Casting a suspicious glance in Naruto's direction, Ino closed in on him cautiously, "Experimenting with what?" Slashes in the ground don't come from taijutsu, which was the main bread and butter of Naruto's play book.

No Nara in recorded history was known for explosive jutsu, and Shikamaru definitely didn't seem like the type to favor chaotic explosions.

Shikamaru strolled over from his position against a tree to stand beside the blond and answer the question, "Apparently Naruto is beginning to dabble in fuuinjutsu. All of these craters and the fallen tree..." He trailed off, pointing a thumb in Naruto's direction, "Is the result of him going crazy with some explosive tags."

Naruto nodded shamelessly, not at all bothered by the destruction that he unleashed upon the clearing. It was all in the name of science.

Namely, the science of determining just how fucking ridiculous these explosions were gonna be when he started creating his own Uzumaki styled tags. He needed some kind of measuring stick for them.

"Fuuinjutsu? Why fuuinjutsu?" Ino asked, slightly nervous at the potential mayhem that Naruto could cause witness fuinjutsu. Since explosive tags were fairly low level examples of the art of sealing, just how much crazier could it get?

Asuma chuckled to himself, "Of all people, Naruto would be the one to start fuuinjutsu. Looks like you're already on the path to represent your lineage proudly." Seals were practically in his blood. It would've been downright potential wasted if he didn't even get around to messing with the highly effective art.

"Pretty much what Asuma-sensei said, it's part of my lineage. Uzumaki's were known for their fuuinjutsu prowess, and I'll be damned if I don't get me a piece of that action."

Asuma was about to add some more reasoning into the mix, but chose to bite his tongue instead. The kid was a walking example of just how powerful fuuinjutsu is too. There's a seal somewhere on that kid's body that's keeping a massive threat to the village at bay, and that was created by a non Uzumaki shinobi. Just imagine the potential behind a real deal Uzumaki actually dipping his brush into the ink of sealing.

There's no telling what could happen.

So that was another thing he had going for him. Apparently his family were the masters of the relatively unknown art, so of course he'd have to be at least proficient in it.

And here Ino was, with her Shintenshin (Mind Body Switch Technique) and some basic ass training. Damn, there's gotta be something that she could do so she wouldn't fall too far behind.

Noticing the rather downtrodden look on his teammate's face, Shikamaru snapped his fingers rapidly in order to get her attention, "What's eating you, Ino?"

"Huh?" Was her well thought out response.

"Your face, it looks like you're sad about something." The Nara pointed out, gesturing to her facial expression to further emphasize his point.

"Oh, it's nothing really." She stated rather meekly, not really giving off the impression that it was 'nothing really', "But how's your training coming along, Shika?" Wonder what he's been up to. Shikamaru had to be doing something here other than sleeping. It's not like he would've been able to since they were practically tearing the whole clearing up with explosives.

If he could sleep through all of that however, he had to be probably the heaviest sleeper on the planet. Give the boy a medal for that.

With all the attention shifted onto him, Shikamaru grunted, "Ugh, why'd you ask meee?"

"Damn it, Shika! Just answer the question!" Ino ferociously ordered, fists clenched and teeth bared.

They could have sworn there was a fire in her eyes.

"Fine, calm down troublesome woman. If you just really need to know, I've been working on combinations and attack patterns with Naruto's clones. Combinations that'll have me in close with them and the enemy, but far enough back that I won't be directly in the line of fire. They're there to harass the enemy and keep focus off of me so that I can get them with my shadow. Plus I've been sparring here and there to keep my taijutsu in shape."

Asuma nodded proudly at that. An Uzumaki that's starting fuinjutsu, a Nara that's breaking the mold and actually getting more involved with fighting, and a Yamanaka who's going to be right alongside them. Yup, these three were definitely going places.

"Alright kids, let's get to business really quick. Naruto, Shika, we're about to go out on a very important mission." Asuma informed the two boys, noticing Naruto's deadpan expression.

"I swear to Kami if you're making another task of cleaning dog shit up in the park out to be this super important deal, I'll publicly embarrass you."

Those D ranked missions that they've been on for the past two weeks were pure hell for the jinchuuriki. Not because of the difficulty level or anything, because they were far too easy as it is. No, the problem laid on the fact that they were _too_ _easy_.

For Shikamaru and Ino, they were monotonous after a while, but still fairly simple and easy to complete. Naruto on the other hand hated them because there was no action in them, no potential sense of danger to be found in any of the mundane tasks.

The closest thing he could consider a threat would be accidentally making skin contact with any doggy doo doo piles that they had to clean up. Or maybe hammering a nail through his hand while putting up fences.

To be honest, hammers and nails put up more of an interesting fight than the various piles of dog shit that occupied the village, but that's neither here nor there.

Asuma sweatdropped at that while having the decency to rub the back of his head sheepishly. It seems that Naruto was still sore over that little set up that the Sarutobi pulled on his team. He had to get them hyped just to crush their spirits, as was the unspoken custom that presided within the village.

If you thought that you were going to be doing life threatening, pulse pounding, high octane missions straight out of the academy, real life had a nasty surprise waiting on you.

At least their expressions of pure disappointment were well worth the slight amount of hostility that Naruto displayed every now and then, "No, it's the real deal this time. Like A ranked real deal."

Naruto went from keeping a suspicious glare trained on his sensei to exuding an abnormal amount of excitement, eyes almost having stars in them, "With a potential for hostile encounters?" Asuma nodding caused Naruto to pump a fist up victoriously, "Finally!"

It was about time for some action.

"Troublesome. So where are we off to?" Shikamaru dryly asked, clearly not sharing the same enthusiastic sentiments with his friend. He really didn't feel like risking his life at the moment.

"We're going to Nami no Kuni to back up Kakashi's team. They apparently ran into two of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist over there, and their job is to kill the bridge builder." Asuma explained, not missing the pensive glance that the two males on his team shared.

 _"It can't be... Our luck isn't that bad..."_

 _"Oh yeah, somebody is gonna die soon... Its gonna be that swordsman."_

Shikamaru nervously shifted his weight from one leg to the other, "... Do we have any information of who the two enemies are?" Fate couldn't be that cruel to them.

Hopefully.

"Zabuza Momochi and Jinpachi Munashi."

If he ever had the chance, Shikamaru would bitch slap Fate directly in the face. Seven times.

"Damn it!" Shikamaru exclaimed in an uncharacteristic fashion. Just had to prove him wrong, damn it fate.

"Hell yes! This time he's not getting away!" Naruto declared seriously, a determined fire raging in the boy's blue eyes. He was shaken out of his early celebration at the fact that he was getting a rematch with his nemesis by a sudden influx of memories being processed into his brain.

The sinister grin on his face didn't bode well for anyone, "I'm seriously starting to love my clones."

Shikamaru knew what that meant and inwardly groaned. Why the hell did he have to keep advancing so much, "Another new jutsu I assume."

"You know me and my clones so well."

"Oh yeah, you never showed us that last new jutsu of yours either Naruto. C'mon, let us see it!" Ino pointed out, wanting to see what new things her teammates were cooking up.

Asuma, despite his curiosity of Naruto's new technique, knew that they were on a rather strict time frame. The more time they wasted in the village, the more likely that shit could go even more south than it already was.

"Everybody go get packed up for an A ranked mission. There _will_ be conflict, so pack accordingly."

X.X.X.

(Four Days Later, Nami no Kuni)

KNOCK KNOCK!

A couple of solid knocks on the door alerted one of the main residents in the house to company. A fair skinned, dark haired woman took a momentary pause from chopping vegetables to call out, "Who is it?"

No answer.

The woman was about to call out again, but was advised against it by one of the ninja children that were present in her house. The young raven haired boy made a 'shh' gesture with his hands before slowly advancing towards the wooden door. He angled his body in order to keep the kunai he firmly held in his palm hidden from view before cracking the door open slightly, "Who are you and what is your business?"

"Hi Sasuke!"

Sasuke immediately closed the door. There was something on the other side of this door that didn't need to be there at all. Might as well consider it a threat.

"Leave the premises right now before I have to use lethal force to protect my client."

"Now why would I do that? The whole reason that we're here is because you guys weren't protecting your client well enough in the first place!" Ouch. He had a point, albeit a rather blunt point, but Sasuke wasn't having any of it right now. The last thing he needed was somebody else around his ranking telling him that they were fucking up.

Especially the dobe.

Sasuke grunted before begrudgingly opening the door, glaring daggers at his blond haired companion, "If you bother me at all, just know that I will stab you."

Asuma, puffing on one of his trademark cancer sticks, smiled at the hostile interaction between the two before removing the cigarette from his mouth. He blew smoke to the side before regarding the young Uchiha in the doorway, "Team ten here for the assistance. Now where's your sensei? I got to talk strategy with him and get caught up." He needed the rundown of everything that transpired. All the tactics the enemy used.

Jutsu that were used.

Fighting styles that were used.

All of that. Intel was vital in a situation like this.

Sasuke nodded at the shinobi with seniority standing before him before opening the door fully to allow them in, only to regret his decision instantly once the other blue eyed annoyance jumped straight on him, "Sasuke baby! Don't worry, I'm here to protect you from the big, bad, scary swordsmen!" She proclaimed as they both went on an all expenses paid trip to the floor.

"Get the hell off of me, woman!"

Shikamaru sighed as the rest of his team sidestepped the spectacle, moving into the house. They had business to attend to, so they could worry about the sudden cuddle session on the floor later.

Walking down the hallway, they all took a glance into the kitchen, taking note of the rather attractive woman standing there chopping vegetables. She turned around once she registered the presences standing in her house, "Oh, welcome! I'm Tsunami, my father is out with the other two kids in town."

Asuma nodded at her introduction, shifting his posture to a more laid back, smooth one. In other words, it was time to put the moves on her.

He wasn't going to go too far since he had something in the works with Kurenai back home, but a little bit of innocent flirting wasn't nothing.

Leaning against the wall with the most aloof demeanor he could muster, he fixed a cool look onto his face, "Hey, I'm Asuma Sarutobi, leader of the squad sent to assist Kakashi's team. Could you help me with something really quick?" He asked as he brought his cigarette back to his lips.

He paused on that action due to one main reason. The knife that was previously being used to innocently chop some nutritious veggies was currently flying directly towards his head. Once the instrument of meal preparation Embedded itself in the wall beside his cheek, Asuma stared at the blade owlishly, with Naruto and Shikamaru mimicking his actions, before slowly turning to look at the knife thrower.

Her serene smile threw the trio off completely.

"Ninja-san, there is absolutely no smoking in this house. Please go outside if you feel the need to do so."

Naruto watched the exchange between the two before pointing at the beautiful woman, "You could've just said that instead of trying to lobotomize him. Plus, you don't use utensils that touch the food for any other purposes than the food related ones." It was common kitchen knowledge. Such poor etiquette was just bad in Naruto's eyes.

Still not changing her calm facade, Tsunami merely reached into a drawer and produced another knife, "It was just to make sure that you know I mean business. Now then, what was it that you needed help with, ninja-san?"

Asuma blinked owlishly, "Yeah... never mind. Just point me in the direction of the other grown ninja in the house." He said dejectedly, deciding that he didn't want to get stabbed to death with kitchen utensils today. He pointed around at the kids occupying the kitchen, "Oh yeah, and these are my students. Well, two of them. The third one is harassing the Uchiha on Kakashi's team somewhere in the house."

"Sasuke-kun, did you miss me?"

"No. Get off of me, damn it!"

"You can't separate true love, baby!"

Holding back a few chuckles, the Sarutobi cut his eyes back to the two genin standing beside him before pointing at each of them again, "The blond spaz is Naruto,"

"I prefer the term energetic enigma." Said spaz informed with a raised finger.

"And the pineapple headed one is Shikamaru. He can do crossword puzzles and solve Rubik's cubes if you need help."

Shrugging his shoulders, Shikamaru just sighed, "Ignore the bearded guy trying to sell me off please. Can you point me to the direction of any sleeping area?" He asked as he sat down in a chair he pulled from under the table beside him.

"Now why would you want to sleep so soon? You just got here." A chipper voice nonchalantly stated from the hallway, the sound of crutches accompanying it. Eventually the voice was revealed to belong to Kakashi, who hobbled his way into the kitchen.

He spared everyone there a look that gave off the impression of him smiling due to the muscles around his visible indicating such, "Asuma and pals, how nice of you to join us. Now it's a party."

Said newcomer for the party took stock of his comrade's appearance, spying subtle signs of exhaustion here and there about his person, "Damn Kakashi, was it that bad to the point that you needed crutches to get around?" That was more of a rhetorical question than anything. Kakashi was up there in terms of skill in the shinobi world, but it wasn't that farfetched of an idea for him to be a little messed up from his previous hardships with the swordsmen.

"Oh you know, just a couple of guys doing what guys do in our little loving hell hole of a world."

Tsunami held a tentative gaze on her fair skinned visage, "And that is?"

"Fighting tooth and nail to see the other one as a fresh corpse. Or not even leave a trace of them at all. If only Sasuke was more skilled, he probably could've incinerated one of them when they weren't looking..." The scarecrow mused, confirming a thought that Tsunami had floating around in her head for now.

Ninjas were batshit insane.

No sane grown man could converse about trying to murder other people with such a casual detachment. It just wasn't normal! Granted, they were on her father's side, and by proxy their family's side, but there was still something unsettling about their devil may care attitude about fighting and death.

Then there was the fact that there were children involved in this situation as well. Tsunami wasn't some shinobi expert, nor did she even have the slightest idea of what goes on in a ninja village, but she was absolutely certain that these kids and her son had _very_ different upbringings. If they were out here on a mission, they'd have to have some form of experience. It only made sense.

She idly wondered if these three new kids have ever killed anyone before. Shuddering at the thought of children being cold blooded killers, she chose to address the cyclops with the crutches, "Kakashi-san, glad to see that you're up now! Do you need anything right now?"

Kakashi shook his head before tilting it in Asuma's direction, "Nope, that won't be necessary. What I do need to do is talk to him about... ninja related stuff." With that said, the cyclops left the kitchen with Asuma in tow, venturing upstairs so that they could talk strategy.

This left Naruto, Shikamaru, and Tsunami in the kitchen, with an awkward silence eventually settling in. Naruto was the first to break the silence however, and nudged Shikamaru with his leg, "Well, I'm going to go find somewhere to train. Let everybody know that I'll be in the woods somewhere." He informed the Nara as he slipped down the hallway.

Shikamaru shrugged yet again before placing his head down on the table, only to shoot up from his seat the moment he heard Naruto shout in surprise. Mind already racing, he dashed into the hallway to see what all the commotion was about. He fought the urge to drop his jaw at the sight of Sasuke holding a sleeping Ino in his arms, smiling warmly as if every single dream he held came true. An obviously scared, young boy in dark blue overalls with dark hair held a camera up in front of the unexpected phenomenon, snapping a myriad of pictures at Sasuke's behest, "Keep snapping! I need proof so when forehead sees us, she'll give up!" Okay, that explains everything.

Question is, how in the hell did Sasuke allow himself to get his body snatched like that?

Naruto stared at the spectacle for a couple more seconds, standing there with his hands cupping his face as he appeared to be contemplating something. Eventually he tapped the miniature photographer on his shoulder, a mischievous glint shining through in his eyes "Hey kid, are you going to have copies of those?"

The child in question nodded as he continued to record some good old quality blackmail content.

Rubbing his hands sinisterly, Naruto cackled in glee as he advanced towards the door, "Excellent. Save me some, would you? The blackmail potential I sense in this situation is so high that it shouldn't be legal." Not that legality really mattered to shinobi, but that's beside the point.

Swinging the door open to leave the house, Naruto was met with the sight of a older, tanned man that reeked of some potentially cheap liquor, Kiba and Akamaru, and a puzzled Sakura. They were all carrying groceries, and the oldest there addressed the strange blond boy in his house, "Uhh, who are you?"

Pointing a confident thumb at himself, Naruto fixed a confident grin onto his face, "Naruto Uzumaki, future Snake Hunter at your service. No, scratch that. Call me Hebi no Sukāji (The Serpent's Scourge)." Hot damn, that sounded badass.

"I'm too drunk for all of this, so I'm going inside with the food. Bodyguard kids, bring those groceries inside." The man stated with a noticeable slur in his speech pattern, sidestepping the weird looking kid in the doorway. He couldn't lie, even in his drunken haze, he knew a cool epithet when he heard one, but he wasn't in the right mindset to give the kid his props.

Kiba followed their client into the house, snickering at Naruto's lame attempt at trying to hype himself up.

Why would he even give himself a dumb name like that? They were shinobi, not pest control.

Naruto shrugged and moved past everyone, sparing Kiba and Sakura head nods of acknowledgment, "Hey guys, we're here to make sure that you guys don't fuck up." Good old Naruto. Straight to the point no matter how blunt it is.

He dodged a punch aimed directly at his temple from Sakura, who obviously didn't appreciate his heckling, "Shut it, you ass!" Why did they have to send him of all people? Wait, if they sent Naruto's team, that could only mean one thing...

The sudden snapping of Sakura's head in the direction of the hallway alarmed Kiba and Tazuna, the deadly stare present on her face filling them both with a sense of fear.

They could have sworn that the air itself cracked due the sheer speed of the whip like motion that Sakura's head performed.

"I swear to Kami, she better not have her little piggy hands on my Sasuke-kun." Her empty tone chilled the air around everyone as she entered the house, hell bent on keeping what was yet to be here hers, hers.

Naruto hopped away, not wanting to be a part of the oncoming carnage at the moment. He knew a shit storm was coming, so it was best that he got out of dodge before everything hit the fan.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"

Aaaaand it already started.

X.X.X

(Elsewhere on Nami no Kuni, Later That Night)

The sound of two mammoth swords clashing off of each other resonated within Haku as she observed the ongoing spar.

Each swing of the legendary blades held purpose.

Each movement was not wasted.

Each combatant held stern looks on their faces as they chipped away at each other's defenses, trying to find a way to score a decisive blow to end the match.

They were both having a great time as well. Nothing like sparring with an old comrade to get the blood flowing.

Sliding backwards from their latest clash of blades, Jinpachi wore a smirk on his bearded face as he took a couple of deep breaths. They'd been going back and forth for almost two hours, and it was an excellent method of staying on their toes and keeping them from being sloppy. Their recent encounter with the Copy Ninja didn't exactly sit well with either of them despite the fact that they came out on top.

Even though they held the numerical advantage, things weren't that cut and dry. Providing evidence that his moniker wasn't just for show, that man almost singlehandedly killed both of them at least twice during their battle. It was an intense encounter, with Kakashi using his vast collection of jutsu to stay alive and protect his rugrats and client.

One of them would get the upper hand on the man, only for them to be duped by some kind of diversion or trap. He even used that cheap pink eye technique otherwise known as the Sharingan to catch Zabuza in a genjutsu, tricking him into believing that Jinpachi was Kakashi instead.

Needless to say, Jinpachi had a feeling that Zabuza was really into this fight, trying to extract his pound of flesh from the swordsmen as compensation for being put through a tree or several. He always knew how to hold a grudge, that Zabuza.

Shaking himself and settling back into his stance, Jinpachi flashed a battle hungry smile at his fellow swordsman, "Brings back memories, doesn't it Zabuza?"

Zabuza snorted, inwardly agreeing with that statement as he readied his weapon for another pulse pounding encounter, "I can't lie, it does..."

The air went still. Zabuza faded from view, the slight amount of grass and dust kicking up providing the only amount of evidence that the man even moved in the first place.

Jinpachi expertly ducked the swing that was meant to take him out right then and there before spinning around, attempting to bisect Zabuza.

Damn Zabuza and his skills with sneaking up on people. Despite his gigantic ass sword that was obviously meant for combat, it was a well known fact within their circle back in the day that Zabuza was the one that always resorted to sneaking around in one on one showdowns. It wasn't due to him being adverse to trading blows with anyone, because that was far from the truth. No, it was merely due to the fact that his blade just wasn't able to stack up to certain blades in prolonged clashes. Mainly Jinpachi's sword and to a lesser extent, the Kiba swords.

Shibuki could just have a field day with bombarding him with all kinds of explosives.

Kiba conducted lightning, which was Zabuza's glaring weakness to due to his potent water affinity.

Zabuza snorted at the swift counterattack. That would've instantly taken out a lesser shinobi, but Zabuza wasn't well known for nothing. Leaping over the deadly blade, he aimed a stiff kick at Jinpachi's maw, finding purchase and satisfaction at the sound of foot to mouth contact.

Jinpachi went towards the ground, rolling along with the blow to return to his feet quicker. He instantly spun around once he got onto his feet to deflect the horizontal slash sent towards his back. Deflecting the blow, he rushed forward slightly to remove Zabuza's advantage in the fight.

Being in super close prevented Zabuza from having the range advantage, an advantage that he gladly abused the shit out of. Well, that had to end now. Jinpachi drove a savage knee into Zabuza's sternum, surprising the taller shinobi. It didn't surprise him enough to prevent him from leaping back, swinging Kubikiribocho at his temporary adversary. He clicked his teeth in minor annoyance when Jinpachi leaned back and avoided the tip of the weapon by the skin of his teeth, flashing a cocky grin in Zabuza's direction.

Not waiting for Zabuza to touch down, Jinpachi sped towards his airborne foe, a roll of explosive tags accompanying him, "Time to crank it up a notch!" He roared viciously, directing a swing of the demolition specialist's wet dream at Zabuza.

The airborne Momochi twisted himself with all the energy he could muster in order to shield his vulnerable body from the oncoming attack. The blade bounced off of his, but he was instantly reminded of the explosive capabilities the sword possessed the moment a tag attached itself onto his sword. Eyes widening in shock, he made a split second decision before throwing his steel baby at Jinpachi.

He wasn't fast enough to completely avoid taking any damage from the following explosion, but he was quick enough to not get caught at ground zero.

Well, air zero, since he's in mid air still, but that's for nitpicky people who have nothing better to do than take everything literally.

Crossing his arms up in front of his face, Zabuza was sent careening away from Jinpachi, his body smacking directly into a sturdy tree. He fought a cry of pain away when a chipped part of his precious sword flew directly into his forearm, embedding itself deeply into his arm. The shit stung, but he could worry about his wounds later. He still had a perfectly working set of legs, and he needed to retreat for now.

That was the plan until he registered the feeling of cold steel pressed against his Adam's apple, a smug Jinpachi standing over him with the broken Kubikiribocho in his other hand. Smiling victoriously, he chuckled down at his defeated comrade, "I say we go ahead and call this a win for me. I got you dead to rights as of now, Zabuza. Plus, despite the good old days where we didn't stop until someone was bleeding profusely and unconscious, maiming you wouldn't be beneficial to us at the moment." They needed to be on their game for when they ran into the Copy Ninja again. Chopping Zabuza into nice little swordsman cutlets wasn't a good game plan with fighting Kakashi in mind.

He really wanted to though, and not even out of malice or dislike for Zabuza or anything. Out of all the swordsmen, he got along with Zabuza probably the most due to their similar natures.

Both were highly professional and downright deadly in their respective fields of expertise.

Both weren't bloodthirsty and battle hungry ALL the time, unlike the common misconception of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist would lead one to believe, only being that way when necessary.

Both, as of now, were rogues without a home.

He really wanted to just for nostalgia's sake. They all used to chop each other up back in the day...

Haku materialized beside her master, a slight defensive posture about her person catching Jinpachi's attention. He found it adorable that Zabuza had such a loyal follower, and appreciated the potential that the girl had. Quick, agile, and amazing stealth capabilities.

Dare he say it, she could even surpass Zabuza as an assassin one day. The fact that he hasn't seen her use a jutsu yet threw him off slightly, but he just chalked it up to her being a hardcore shinobi and knowing the game well enough.

Never give away what you can do, because you never know who's watching and using that information to plot against you.

Zabuza raised the arm with the piece of bloody shrapnel in it to get Haku to relax, the moonlight from the open nighttime sky reflecting off of the stained steel, "Calm down Haku, he was offering me a surrender. Which is surprising, but I'll take that over being dead any day." He grunted as he picked himself off of the ground, letting his impaled arm hang limply. The sight of the injured arm immediately sent Haku into medic mode, with her grabbing a hold of the punctured appendage, "Is that a shard of Kubikiribocho in your arm? I have to get the fragment out in order to stop the bleeding, Zabuza-sama." She professionally stated as she prepped herself for some impromptu healing. She was far from a professional medic nin, only really knowing how to keep Zabuza from bleeding out and treat various wounds with ointments, but it was enough to get them by.

Zabuza kept his arm away from her though, "No Haku, don't do any of that until you have the proper ingredients for those healing creams you make. Go off and fetch everything you need once the sun comes up, I'll be alright for now." He's dealt with far worse than this, so he really wasn't lying or trying to comfort her.

Jinpachi chuckled at his partner's wound as he handed him the remaining portion of Kubikiribocho, "Zabu's tough enough, he'll survive for the night. Sorry about the blade, got carried away with the explosive tags again." That happened so frequently he might as well stop apologizing for it.

The taller of the two grunted as he took the blade, frowning at the damage. Those damn tags cracked the blade clean in half! Shit, now he'd have to go hunting or slaughter some bums or something. Pretty much anything that bleeds was on the chopping block for him since he needed the sword to fix itself.

Despite what the rest of the swordsmen used to say, Zabuza thought his sword was arguably the most efficient when it came to killing. So what if the blade got chipped or broken off? All he needed to do was let a small amount of blood come in contact with the weapon and it would be brand new.

If everyone else's blade got broken, they were shit out of luck...

They were probably already dead since it takes some real upper echelon shit to completely break a legendary blade like theirs.

Haku's worried eyes lingered on her master's wound for a couple of more moments before sighing in resignation, "If that is what you wish, Zabuza-sama."

Jinpachi looked back and forth between the two as Zabuza motioned for Haku to leave, "I gotta ask, how'd you get somebody so loyal to you like that? She treats everything you say like it's a direct order from Kami herself..."

Zabuza shook his head, chuckling at his question. It wasn't a far off comparison, and that's why he regarded Haku so highly. She was completely subservient to him, and him only. He took her in, trained her, molded her into the kunoichi she was today.

Despite the somewhat innocent line of questioning from Jinpachi, Zabuza knew a fish for information when he heard one. It was no secret to Zabuza that Jinpachi was trying to learn as much as he could about Haku. Why, Zabuza didn't have the slightest clue. But whatever the reason, it didn't bode well. He's noticed the subtle looks Jinpachi sent her way, the lingering gazes.

The one thing that Jinpachi could absolutely _not_ know about is Haku's bloodline. Part of the reason why Zabuza left Kiri, other than the obvious reasons, is that Yagura developed the bright idea of using the swordsmen as his personal attack force against the bloodline users. Half of them were on board, such as Jinpachi and Kisame, while others like Zabuza weren't exactly too thrilled with the constant warfare. He always wondered if nobody ever considered the fact that Kiri was essentially destroying itself from the inside with all of those bloodline purges.

Why would we focus on working alongside our own shinobi who could make a difference in the world when we can just kill them instead because they have different abilities?

Stupid, just stupid.

Zabuza was shaken out of his inner musings by Jinpachi getting his attention in the most asshole way possible.

By slapping him on his fresh, open wound. Maybe he should just gut the dickhead right then and there, "Give me one solid reason why I shouldn't bifurcate you."

"Because you love me and cherish the time we spend together?"

The remaining portion of Kubikiribocho found itself pressed against the bearded swordsman's abdomen, causing him to nervously chuckle, "Oi, come on Zabuza! You wouldn't hurt me like that, would you? We're comrades..."

"I butchered my graduating class in the academy when I was a boy." Zabuza dryly deadpanned, slowly pushing the blade further into his stomach.

"Oh yeah, fuck..."

X.X.X.

(Omake: Storytelling With Swords Vol 1)

"I SWEAR TO KAMI I'LL SODOMIZE YOU WITH THIS KIBA IF YOU TRY TO TAKE MY PANTIES AGAIN!"

Zabuza fought back a laugh as he and Kisame stood outside of Ameyuri's apartment. The early morning sounds of Kushimaru annoying their female teammate were a frequent occurrence whenever the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist were about to set out on an assignment. The thick, trademark mist floated aimlessly around the village, coating everyone out and about with a thin layer of moisture.

Kisame, dressed in a sleeveless black shirt, black shinobi pants and sandals, and the Kiri flak jacket, laughed as he playfully elbowed Zabuza in the side, "Heheh, think she'll go through with that threat?"

"You know, I honestly don't know. She usually just zaps his ass into submission before punt kicking him somewhere. Maybe she'll switch it up this time..." Zabuza mused, ignoring the flashes of lighting that were originating from a window above them.

"First time for everything." Kisame chuckled, slightly tilting his head at the sound of glass shattering above them. The two ground level shinobi were awarded the sight of their teammate Kushimaru diving onto the road, rolling out of the dive professionally, before turning around to produce a pair of pink panties with little blue lightning designs on them.

He celebrated the capture of his new trophy with a braggadocious dance, complete with hysterical laughter and him pointing excitedly at the window, "I got em! Nice lace panties you have here!" He gloated as he stretched the undergarments out for everyone to see.

He leapt to the side quickly once an extremely potent bolt of yellow lightning rocketed from the window that he previously escaped from. A highly agitated Ameyuri poked her upper body out of the window, shark like teeth bared, "You know you're paying for my window again, you ass! This is the third fucking time this week you've done this!" Why couldn't Zabuza or Kisame or Jinpachi or pretty much any of the other swordsmen come collect her when it was go time?

They always sent the perverted man child up to get her, and it never went well for anyone involved. Mainly for her, since Kushimaru seemed to make it into a game to constantly harass her, especially in the form of taking her undergarments and parading them around.

They were still getting over the Panty Raid incident, where she became the laughing stock of the fucking village due to Kushimaru, draped in multiple sets of panties, bras, and lingerie, completing five laps around the village with Ameyuri in hot pursuit.

He also had the criminal mindset to plan ahead and hide a majority of her clothes as well, forcing her to borrow Jinpachi's long shirt so that she could chase after the idiot in an attempt to mutilate him.

She couldn't stand his ass.

Still dancing around in the street, Kushimaru ignored the completely justified feminine rage emanating from his female teammate, opting to instead tap a random civilian that wasn't important on the shoulder, "Hey, you wanna see what kind of panties that the only female swordsman wears?"

"You're a dead man!"

"I love you too!" He cackled as he presented the genital holders to the interested bystander.

Kisame looked back and forth between the two warring warriors before flashing a grin at Zabuza, "Never a dull day with these two, huh Zabu?"

CRACK!

A bolt of lightning actually managed to strike Kushimaru down this time, while avoiding the civilian beside him. The masked pervert laid there a smoldering, twitching mess.

Kisame raised an eyebrow at Kushimaru still proudly displaying the panties. Had to give him points, that was one dedicated son of a bitch.

Weakly waving the pink fabric back and forth, Kushimaru managed to wheeze out a victory statement, "It was soooo worth it."

Two feet landed harshly in front of him.

Two razor sharp ends of identical swords that were absolutely overdoing it in terms of lightning production pointed directly at his masked visage.

"I was completely serious about my threat. Too bad that you don't have a pillow to bite, cause I'm going in dry."

Zabuza and Kisame looked away as the screams of a victim filled their bodies with an uneasy feeling.

Zabuza shook his head as the duo began to walk away from the future crime scene, "You were absolutely right. Never a dull day at all."

X.X.X

 **It's time for the Wave arc guys.**

 **Ap Calc might as well be considered a lethal weapon in the United States man, it's killing my drive in school.**

 **But enough about me, just be ready for the next chapter when it comes out folks.**

 **Read and review, ask me stuff that I can answer, and tell all your friends. Oh yeah, I appreciate those four dudes who added me to those communities. And I got my first guest hate reviews, so I'm excited.**

 **But yeah, until next time peeps. SPVNK out.**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Watashi wa naruto o shoyū shite imasen.

No soy dueño de Naruto.

Je ne possède pas Naruto. There. We clear on that, buddy?

 **Chapter 9: Quiktrip Hot Dogs Get Me Going**

 **Broken Tools**

 **X.X.X.**

(Naruto's Mind)

Splish slpash.

 **"Stop."**

Splash splish.

" **Stop."**

Splish splash splashity splish.

" **Don't you have something better to do than to annoy me?"**

Splash, "Hmm, let me think about it..."

...

...

Splash.

" **I WILL END YOU, BOY!"** The mighty Kyuubi roared as he rammed against the cage keeping him trapped within this infernal excuse for a child. Kami, why couldn't he have just keeled over and kicked the bucket when the bearded human handed him his ass the first time? Sure he would've died as well, but the great thing about being a somewhat immortal being is that he would've came back eventually.

But nooo, somebody thought it was a _great_ idea to pull him out of his first container just to stick him into another fucking container within the same night! Then this container, unlike the last one, actually wanted to interact with the gigantic fox.

Why?

He was a giant fox, this was a little boy. There was literally nothing that they even had in common due to the fact that they were two completely different species to begin with.

Maybe they had a small semblance of common ground due to the fact that they've both killed people, but other than that there was nothing.

But that didn't stop the boy at all. Ever since that night when the Kyuubi first made it's presence known and established, it had the effect that he wanted somewhat, but with unforseen complications.

He originally planned to establish a sort of rapport with the boy and dangle the ridiculous amount of power at his disposal in front of the boy in order to entice him into using his chakra more. Once the boy became overly dependent on his power, he'd eventually goad the brat into using too much at once so that the seal could weaken and he could escape. The meat sack would die, but oh well.

He got to be free again and that's all that matters.

Win for him.

That plan was shot straight to shit when the boy looked him directly in the eyes and told him that his chakra wasn't necessary for now.

The nerve of this pathetic little meat sack, who does he think he is? If a being with unparalleled, unfathomable amounts of power offered you even half of a percent of it, the average person would bend over backwards in their attempts the take a grab at it. This little shit on the other hand just flipped that whole notion upside down and jackhammered it into the ground.

Maybe this was just a ruse. Maybe he was biding his time, waiting. Waiting on the opportunity to usurp control over his chakra and take it all for himself. Humans were always cunning little disgusting creatures.

"If I stay in here for a long time, will I have to use the restroom? Is there a toilet somewhere? I'd hate to sit and splash around in poop water."

... Cunning? Maybe not this one.

Disgusting? Definitely so.

This was the daily routine every time the boy got the chance to meditate or he fell asleep. After they all got settled in yesterday, him and the rest of his merry band of annoyances began to conspire against their sword wielding enemies. Eventually they realized that all of the younger ningens were behind in terms of chakra control, so they trained relentlessly in trying to climb trees and whatnot with their chakra.

That brought back some memories of the idiot splashing around in the water in front of him pestering him with asinine questions after he read one of his scrolls.

X.X.X.

(Flashback)

"Hey furball, can you climb things with your chakra?"

The Kyuubi deadpanned. How idiotic could his human prison be?

 _ **"**_ **I want you to take a break from being retarded for five minutes and look at me."** The Kyuubi groaned, hoping that Naruto wasn't touched enough to forget about the fact that the Kyuubi was one of the largest, if not the largest, beings walking the planet.

What the hell could he even have to climb? He towered over everything.

Naruto nodded in acknowledgement of the order, looking the gargantuan incarnation of pure malice and bloodlust up and down several times with his hand cupping his chin. Eyes squinted, he gazed for several more seconds before coming to a sage like conclusion, "You're a really big fox."

The glare that the Kyuubi leveled onto the child was so heated that it could melt steel beams, "... **How in the hell do you qualify to be a ninja? I could have sworn that you pathetic humans needed to pass an intelligence test at least."**

Naruto kept his squinted facade in play, yet rolled around in uncontrollable laughter on the inside. You would think that anyone or anything that knew of Naruto's past, especially the one being in the world that's literally been there with him since day one, would remember the fact that he was raised by a S ranked genius and his medical prodigy of a protege, but nope. Everyone always overlooked that fact, which allowed Naruto to assume the 'dumber than a bag of hot sand' routine.

Why show off another aspect of his personality when he could just annoy somebody to the point of insanity? Why display the maturity he was forced to develop in order to cope with his early surroundings when he could assume the role of an overly eccentric child who purposely antagonized people just to get a chuckle?

That's why he's spent the last thirty minutes splashing around in the water that covered the floor in his mind scape. It pissed the massive creature off, and there was nothing better to do while he slept.

Who needed dreams when you had a malevolent entity in your head that you could harass?

Splish splash.

CLANG!

CLANG!

 **"JUST ONE! ONE CHANCE OF CONTACT IS ALL I NEED TO FIND SOME SEMBLANCE OF HAPPINESS IN MY MISERABLE LIFE!"** The Kyuubi bellowed as he rammed his furry body into the gate that kept him at bay, stopping to stretch his powerful arms through the bars in an attempt to gouge the bane of his existence. His efforts, while completely justified in his non biased opinion, fell short as his claws stopped a few mere feet from the source of his misery.

He almost had a stroke when the boy looked at his claws that couldn't reach him, shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, and splashed even more water onto the supreme entity's oversized fingernails with a shit eating grin.

"You still haven't answered my question... Hey, how about another one?" Naruto pointed out, ignoring the hands that could destroy a man with a pat on the back trying their hardest to kill him.

" **That. Was. Another. One."** The Kyuubi growled through clenched teeth, wishing that he had the ability to cause things to spontaneously combust with his eyesight. Maybe he should look into it when the blond brat wasn't here trying to drive him to suicide.

"Do you know where babies come from?"

" **From the deepest, most horrifying pits of hell, just like where you came from."**

"So I'm a natural born hell raiser? Hell yes!" Was the highly infuriating response, complete with a victorious fist pump.

"... Do you have a girlfriend?"

 **"Do you have a cliff nearby that you can jump off of headfirst? I'll heal you right after, I promise."** Kyuubi pleaded, showing his hands off to give evidence that he wasn't trying to be underhanded and cross his fingers.

Good thing the little shit couldn't see his two tails crossed behind his back. He was a fox, after all. Crafty was a part of his nature.

"Sure, I'll go jump off of a cliff just for you buddy!" Naruto proclaimed sarcastically, knowing that the larger mammal in the room had at least two tails crossed out of sight.

 **"The sooner the better."**

 **"** Now why would I wanna rush ahead to my death before our friendship develops?" What the actual hell, did he just say friendship?

He just had to be short of a few brain cells, **"What did you just call our relationship?"** The Kyuubi asked as he lowered himself down to stare the puny human directly in the eye. There's no way that this insignificant being could be serious.

Naruto shrugged as he flashed a grin, "Glad to know that you acknowledge that we have a relationship as well."

 **"All of my hate!"**

"Love you too furball. But I called it a friendship." Why couldn't it be? If what Naruto could remember from studying under Orochimaru was correct, it was guaranteed that Kyuubi and Naruto were in this thing for the long run. Jinchuuriki were created with the sole purpose to keep a biju from running amok for an extended amount of time.

There were the other more military inclined purposes as well, but those go without saying.

So with that in mind, why try to be hostile towards each other for the rest of Naruto's longer than average lifetime? Well, it was more of Kyuubi providing the warm, tense, hostility that they all knew and loved than Naruto, but maybe them being friends could at least turn it into friendly hostility. You know, the thing him and Sasuke had going for them.

 **"Are you dense in the head boy?"**

"Probably, I do have harder bones than the average human being due to my kekkei genkai." He answered truthfully, knowingly adding fuel to the fire that was the Kyuubi's legendary ire. Sometimes it was just too easy.

This was officially unbearable. A human trying to play the 'let's be friends' angle just to take his power from him? Kami, what kind of deity decided that intertwining their strings of fate was a good idea?

It wasn't something to completely lose his shit over though. There was always a silver lining in every gray cloud, he just had to be patient and wait for his opportunity.

His time would come, he would escape and crush this whelp in between his fingertips, then go run off and find one of his siblings or something.

All in due time.

"Hey, do you have a penis or a vagina? Better yet, are you a hermaphrodite?" Naruto inquired, a healthly look of scientific curiosity on his face that bared a striking resemblance to Orochimaru and Kabuto's expressions when they were studying or experimenting.

... That due time really needed to hurry the hell up.

X.X.X.

(End Flashback)

Naruto noticed the distracted look on the Kyuubi's visage, "Hey furball, what are you thinking about?" He looked like he was really into whatever he was thinking about, so Naruto wanted to know about him. Call him nosy, but he was being robbed of entertainment since the fox's mind was elsewhere.

Hearing something other than water being splashed shook the Kyuubi out of his inner remembrance of earlier interactions with Naruto, causing him to cast a gaze of indifference onto the child, **"None of your business, ningen."** He answered as he laid down, attempting to go to sleep and ignore the unwanted visitor.

His plans were interrupted once Naruto opened his mouth again, but surprisingly with a non idiotic question, "Oi, why are you always so mad?" Naruto's never been around somebody this cranky. Sure, Sasuke could qualify as the neighborhood grouch with his stunted people skills, but the Kyuubi might as well be known as the grouch of the whole world!

Cracking an eye open that surprisingly didn't hold as much malice as usual, the Kyuubi snorted, **"It's all a part of who I am and what I'm about, boy. Stop trying to fish for information, because you're not going to get it."** He growled lowly, closing his eye momentarily before opening it again, this time with a sinister smirk in place, **"But let's talk about how you scared the pants off of that whining brat at the bridge builder's house. That was pretty entertaining..."**

Naruto scowled at that reminder. After they went hard at learning how to climb trees, with Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru eventually getting it right on the first day, they all reported back to Tazuna's house to wind down and rest with some dinner.

Dinner was great. Jokes and playful barbs were being exchanged back and forth, Sasuke tried his hardest, yet failed miserably, to keep Sakura and Ino at bay, and Kakashi got yelled at for reading what Naruto assumed to be porn at the dinner table.

Naruto also learned that Kiba and Akamaru were there instead of Choji due to Choji having some important clan related business to attend to.

Yeah, dinner was great, up until Tsunami's son told them that they were all gonna die, there was no point in pretending to be strong enough to stand against Gato, the evil money grubbing midget that had their country by the balls. Naruto was easily able to just ignore it since he was a civilian kid who had no idea of what even genin were capable of against a standing force of a bunch of grown men with little to no shinobi training.

Easily ignorable up until the brat had the audacity to claim that they didn't know what it was like to lose somebody important to them.

In order to avoid maiming the poor boy due to his rising anger, Naruto just stormed out of the house, unconsciously flaring enough intent to make the cynical child shake in his boots. Once he got a good distance away, he made about an army of clones and proceeded to go to town in a no holds barred fight, going for as long as he could until he burned himself out.

Crossing his arms in contempt, Naruto shook his head, "I'd rather not." That seriously left a bad taste in his mouth.

The Kyuubi chuckled at the blond's disdain for the previous events that he underwent. Nothing like a good old reminder of something that bothers you.

Pausing in his deep voiced laughter, he shifted his eyes upwards and to the side momentarily before glancing back down at Naruto, **"I think you have company, brat. Try not to die."**

X.X.X

(Outside of Naruto's Mind)

Haku strolled along at a leisurely pace as she observed the forest around her, the early morning sunrise providing a calming background light to her activities. She observed the local wildlife go about their daily routines, noticed the early morning dew that covered the plants, and listened to the birds engage in their harmonious chirping.

Eventually after walking around and gathering the various forms of plants that she needed to create her ointments for Zabuza-sama, she happened to come across a clearing that was absolutely devastated.

Trees were dented severely to the point where some of them were split in half, the upper halves leaning down towards the ground.

Small craters were defined in the forest floor.

Numerous slash marks and gouges populated the miniature war zone, with several areas having a tight cluster of _deep_ holes within them.

She idly wondered what could have been responsible for such destruction before spying a possible cause. Leaning against a tree while seated in the lotus position, a boy probably younger than her with blond hair, black button down shirt, and black cargos and boots slept peacefully on the outer edge of the decimated clearing. At first she wondered why he was sleeping out here, believing him to be a civilian, but then steeled her features once she noticed the Konoha headband tied around his bicep.

 _"He couldn't be the cause of all of this destruction... could he?"_ She mused as she carefully advanced towards him. It was obvious that the previous contingent from Konoha sent for backup since this one wasn't there the first encounter, so with that in mind it was a smart decision to thin the ranks.

She idly wondered if this was that mystery genin that Jinpachi kept ranting about, and instantly doubled the amount of caution that she was exercising. No need to tread lightly around a jinchuuriki that killed someone on her master's level.

Finally reaching her intended target, she set her basket down without any noise before leading her arms forward in an attempt to strangle her potential enemy. She bit back a gasp when his eyes instantly opened and he grabbed her by both of her wrists with surprising speed.

"Hey there, how's it hanging?" He casually asked, not paying attention to the fact that he had her wrists in a vice grip. His calm smile was also unnerving the ice oriented kunoichi.

Did she make a potentially fatal mistake?

"Hello, could you please loosen up on the grip? You're hurting me." Haku pleaded, deciding to not let things escalate. The best way to do that was to not present herself as a threat. Sure she had several hidden caches of senbon on her person, but it was clear that he was he superior in terms of strength. Maybe he could contest with her in speed, but now was not the time to test that theory. He had her dead to rights.

Shaking his head and smacking his lips several times to shake off the early morning drowsiness, he juggled the pros and cons of letting the beautiful girl in front of him go. On one hand, she didn't seem like she meant any harm, and her appearance didn't really scream 'I'm here to kill you'.

But on the other hand, she was obviously a shinobi. No civilian in their right mind would approach an area this torn up. No civilian in their right mind would attempt to awake a sleeping shinobi in the middle of an area like this by getting that close.

Naruto learned a lot of things under Orochimaru, and one of those things was how to read body language and how to spot the tell tale signs that differentiated ordinary people and shinobi. Her build, while not really advertising a traditional kunoichi build, was clearly one suited for speed and dexterity that a regular human being couldn't achieve.

He wasn't a fool. He didn't know what Zabuza's body looked like, but he knew his face from memorizing the bingo books back in the day. This wasn't Zabuza, and it damn sure wasn't that bearded bastard that he planned on killing.

With this in mind, there was only one person that this could be.

... Who, nobody except for Zabuza and Jinpachi knew. But it was clear to the jinchuuriki that this was their mystery assailant. Shikamaru may have been the smartest with the iq, but Naruto did know a thing or two...

"Hmm... so if I let you go, can we sit here and talk without trying to kill one another?" He asked, squinting his eyes at his potential opponent. He didn't let go of her wrists in case she made any sudden movements so he had a chance to cripple her off the bat.

Inwardly frowning at that question, Haku just sat down in lotus in front of him, "Now why would we try to kill each other, ninja-san? What would you gain by killing a civilian boy like me?"

He deadpanned, "Stop lying, you're not a girl. And as for what I'd have to gain, I could get rid of the mystery ally of Zabuza Momochi and Jinpachi Munashi right now. A little preemptive thinning of the ranks, so to speak." He calmly explained, continuing to squint and smile pleasantly at the girl.

Shit.

Haku snatched one hand out of his grip, instantly flying through hand seals with her one free hand, shocking the boy who kept his grip tight on her other wrist, "Sensatsu Suishō (Thousand Flying Water Needles Of Death)!" All of the moisture in the surrounding area rose up into the air, taking on the form of a large amount of frozen needles, all aimed directly at Naruto.

Haku let out a scream of pain once Naruto pierced her wrist with sharp, jagged bones, before leaping straight up to avoid being surrounded. Utilizing his newfound chakra climbing abilities, he posted up on the tree that he slept against and watched in fascination as the needles previously meant for him relentlessly peppered the area he was once situated in. He noticed Haku hop away from the area too, holding a basket full of plants and other things, "You're not getting away!" He roared determinedly, rocketing towards the injured girl.

The fucked up wrist wasn't enough to keep her out of the game, and she made that known by completing a single hand seal.

"Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hiding in Mist Technique)." She calmly stated just as Naruto touched down in front of her, fists clenched with small, yet pointed bones protruding out from his knuckles. He threw a punch but clicked his teeth when Haku dodged it and slipped into the thickening mist that was beginning to overcome the clearing. "Shit!" He cursed as he took to the trees, wanting to avoid being on the ground level. He couldn't even see his own two hands, so why be down there where the possibility of being blindsided was significantly higher?

Scanning the ground, he lowly growled before creating five clones, "Fan out and go in different directions just in case she's trying to follow me. If she comes after you, do your best to either kill her or slow her down." Orders being set in stone, Naruto took off at speed in the direction of Tazuna's house, not noticing the figure on the ground shadowing him. The clones all took off in different directions, only to all be taken out by well placed needles to vital spots.

Landing on the branch that Naruto previously departed from, Haku cursed at letting him get away. At least she managed to eliminate the clones and send a clone of her own after him.

Now all she had to do was get back to her allies and inform them of the new developments taking place on the enemies' side.

X.X.X.

(Fifteen Minutes Later, Zabuza's Hideout)

"So you managed to keep the brat from taking Nuibari, huh?" Zabuza asked in a conversational tone, his newly restored Kubikiribocho propped up beside his seat. Until Haku got back with the supplies and healed him up, Zabuza couldn't really do anything overly physical lest he agitate the wound further.

So for now, he was stuck just hanging around their current base of operations. It was a little hut settled on one of the taller, sturdier trees all the way in the woods, a really out of the way abode.

Displaying the needle like sword, Jinpachi momentarily frowned, "Yeah, had to go back and get it after I thought I killed that jinchuuriki... I refuse to let someone who isn't a swordsman like us to even touch the blades unless they're getting killed by it." For a non Swordsman of the Mist to take a weapon of theirs... it was the most disrespectful thing Jinpachi could ever think of. He's seen and experienced some disrespectful things, but seeing that brat with the sheer audacity to try to grab Nuibari...

It pissed him off even more than the time when Kushimaru and Kisame held him down and dyed his hair pink, and he was seeing red for weeks due to that incident.

Zabuza whistled at that statement, getting out of his seat to go grab something from the kitchen, "Crazy. I'm still wondering about how tough was that kid to make you leave. To be honest, I don't know how I'd even handle something like that..." Zabuza was more of an assassin than a heavy duty combatant, so going toe to toe with a jinchuuriki like that wasn't an ideal match up for him.

"Whatever you do, taijutsu is an absolute no no unless completely necessary. And by necessary, I mean you're putting hands on him to kick his ass away from you as far as possible." Jinpachi helpfully informed, stroking his beard in thought, "Maybe chop his head off. Or once he goes all biju mode, throw up a Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hiding in Mist Technique) and chop his head off while he can't see you... that's if you ever run into him." He concluded, fishing around through his belongings as Zabuza returned from the kitchen.

Zabuza quirked a non existent eyebrow at the black book that he caught, "A new black book?" He inquired, flipping through the pages before coming to a stop on a certain page that was folded over.

"I put that brat in there. There isn't a picture of him, but I made sure to leave a vivid description. Something that dangerous is something that people need to know about..." Jinpachi informed him with a frown on his face.

Zabuza was interrupted from perusing the new entry by Haku barging into the room, her wrist bleeding and her breathing frantic, "The Konoha team sent for back up! Which means there's another jonin!" She exclaimed, setting the basket down beside her master. She pulled a roll of bandages out and began wrapping her wounded wrist.

"How do you know this, Haku?" Zabuza asked sternly, subtly inspecting her wrist. Lots of puncture wounds, with all of the wounds themselves looking like someone stabbed her with a serrated edged blade.

Jinpachi noticed the wounds as well, mouth opening in disbelief, "It can't be..." It all made sense. One of the main joints on the body basically rendered useless due to what appeared to be numerous stab wounds...

A wrist being one of the easiest things to grab on a person, just like ankles...

Either he was grasping at straws here, or the jinchuuriki was here in Nami no Kuni!

"Girl, the person that did this to you... blond hair, blue eyes, pulls off all black nicely?" Jinpachi interrogated, finding his growing excitement at the possibility of murder hard to keep in check. If she said yes, he was going to be a very happy camper.

She nodded grimly, prompting Jinpachi to pull Shibuki out and spin around excitedly, "Yes! I get a chance to kill the kid again!" The fact that a grown man was this ecstatic about having an opportunity to slaughter a child should have been an immediate warning sign that he needed mental evaluations, but that wasn't a main priority at the moment.

No, the main priority was planning, figuring out what they were going to do now.

"Zabuza-sama, your thoughts?" Haku asked, currently fixing the ointments as quickly as possible since she was done attending to her wounds. Having one functioning wrist didn't slow her down at all. A slow, damaged tool was of no use for Zabuza-sama after all.

Eyeing his bandaged forearm, Zabuza cupped his chin as he thought about how this could play out.

Someone on the Konoha side has seen Haku and figured them out... Could they have trailed her back to the hideout?

"Haku... were you followed?"

She shook her head as she finished preparing the ointment, bringing the healing solution to her master. She unraveled his bandages, "No. I managed to send a clone of mine after him to scout out where they were located, though."

Shouldering his explosive tool of death, Jinpachi spared the only teenager in the room a curious gaze, "A clone? What kind of clone?" Damn, he was asking the wrong kind of questions.

"It doesn't matter what kind of clone it was, what matters is if it gets back here in one piece or not." Zabuza grunted, momentarily wincing once Haku started poking around the still relatively fresh cut on his arm.

As if Zabuza's words were some magical cue from Kami herself, an identical copy of Haku arrived, crouching down in front of Haku, "The house is about twenty minutes away from here. Travel north, and you won't miss it." The doppelganger reported.

"Did you manage to get a headcount?" Jinpachi warily asked, staring intently at the clone. Something about this Haku child wasn't adding up. Zabuza's reaction to his question about the nature of the clone wasn't helping quell his suspicions either.

He'd be keeping an eye out on her during the oncoming battle...

"There was the boy who harmed the original, another new one with spiky pineapple styled hair, and a bearded shinobi watching them train with the original team. From what I saw, it looked like they were climbing trees with their chakra."

"Spiky pineapple hair? Oh Kami! This is just fucking fantastic! All three of them are here!" Jinpachi gleefully squealed, disturbing the other two more and more. Just how bad was his first encounter with those kids?

Pacing back and forth, Jinpachi eventually stopped in front of the two normal people in the room, "Once she heals you up, I say we bum rush them."

"Why go for a bum rush?" Zabuza asked, not really being against the suggestion but wanting some solid convincing to go along with it.

"Simple. No doubt that the blond bitch is running back to tell everyone that he saw us, which will probably make them up their training and preparation. Instead of letting them have the time to let Kakashi recover all the way and plan accordingly, we rush in there, kill them and the bridge builder, then collect our payment and get off of the island. With the money from the contract, _plus_ the bounty for Kakashi and the other jonin's head, we can get a head start on fulfilling your goals, Zabuza." Damn, that was some sound logic. But...

"Haku is injured, so she won't be one hundred percent..."

Jinpachi shrugged, "Leave the heavy duty fighting to me and you. She goes directly after Tazuna and does the dirty work while we focus on the jonin and the jinchuuriki. Even with one hand, I'm pretty sure your little tool is more than a match for a bunch of genin." Fair enough.

Zabuza weighed his options carefully as Haku finished addressing the wound, eventually coming to a conclusion, "Haku, can you eliminate the bridge builder?"

"I can do whatever you wish of me, Zabuza-sama." She calmly responded, causing Jinpachi to snicker, "Kinky, but get back on task here you two." He joked in a distasteful manner, eliciting a growl from Zabuza.

"Watch it, Jinpachi."

"But of course... now let's get going." He had a jinchuuriki to maim.

X.X.X.

(With Naruto and Pals)

"So you mean to tell me that the mystery ninja on their side is a girl?" Kiba asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, dog breath." Naruto sighed for the umpteenth time.

"... Was she hot?"

"Sure, let's go with that." In all honesty, she was easily one of the better looking girls Naruto has ever met, but he just didn't feel like talking about it right now. What he really wanted was a chance to actually talk to the girl, but it's hard to keep a conversation with a member of the opposite sex when you pretty much destroy their wrist.

It's funny, they didn't even learn each other's names before they tried to kill each other. Ah, that was the life of a shinobi he supposed.

Kakashi, still on his crutches, hobbled out of the front door and stood on the porch with the two boys, Asuma coming outside as well, "So Naruto, other than the fact that she's good enough with water jutsu to be able to do them with one hand, was there anything else that you could gather from your encounter with her?" He asked, casting a curious eye down at the blond.

Naruto shook his head as he watched Ino and Sakura bicker by the starting point of the woods. His eyes lingered on Ino just a little bit longer than he'd like to admit, but he couldn't help the growing attachment that he was developing towards his team.

Shikamaru was practically a brother in all but blood by this point. Having a near death experience with someone was sure to bring you two closer than other folks.

Asuma was what he imagined to be that cool uncle. You know, the one with a questionable vice that was sure to lead him into some trouble somewhere down the road, but that didn't stop him from sprinkling a little bit of cool aloofness everywhere he went.

And Ino. They became closer and closer as time progressed, forming somewhat of a brother and sister relationship. He could honestly say that they felt like a real family to him, as they provided him with a lot more warm and fuzzy feelings than he ever got with Orochimaru and associates.

Not even Kimimaro, who Orochimaru constantly referred to as Naruto's brother, gave off a familial vibe. It was more like he was his overseer or trainer, only really spending time around him to beat the snake shit out of the jinchuuriki.

Not only would he repeatedly hand him his own ass under the guise of training, he'd always make it a habit to talk down on Naruto for several reasons, and not in a playful, witty banter kind of way either.

For starters, Naruto apparently took Kimimaro's position as the snake's favorite pet project. All of the twisted 'love and affection' that Orochimaru used to bestow upon to the original bone wielder was given over to Naruto once he started to train. That obviously didn't marinate well with the Kaguya since he revered Orochimaru to be his actual father figure, and he made it known clearly and efficiently every time he put a boot to Naruto's ass.

Secondly, Kimimaro constantly told Naruto that his style of fighting with the Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) was a shoddy bastardization of the true kekkei genkai. Being a master with the organic bone swords, the albino's movements were as fluid as water, precise as a needle, and clean as a whistle. Well, about as clean as carving several sizable chunks out of a living human being can be.

Naruto on the other hand was pretty much his polar opposite. Ignoring the art of sword play for a majority of the time, Naruto preferred to be up close and personal. Debilitating taijutsu was the name of his game, and it was with good reasoning behind it.

A pat on the back from Naruto was enough to kill someone with minimum effort.

A handshake is all it takes to end someone's life on a business day.

Hell, even a friendly hug could turn sour if Naruto was feeling a bit malicious.

Swords had too much practice and whatnot involved for the blond's tastes. There was no need for all of the technicalities and forms and stances when he could just skip the middle man and kick ass and take names the good old fashioned way.

Yeah, his team was way better in terms of familial bonds than his past. There was nothing in the world that he would trade for them either.

Shifting his weight around on the crutches, Kakashi sighed as Asuma stepped to his side to whisper, "So how long will it be before you're off the crutches? We've got to be ready in case we run into them again." Elite jonin or not, nobody found it beneficial to engage in mortal combat on some crutches.

Kakashi waved off his concerns though, an eye smile present on his masked visage, "Mah, don't worry. They're merely for cosmetic purposes at this point. I'm ready to go in case something pops up." He assured, his usually relaxed posture stiffening.

"Something up?" Asuma asked as he subtly put his trench knives onto his knuckles. Kakashi wasn't a person known for suddenly going stiff unless something major was about to go down.

"INO, SAKURA, HIT THE DECK!" Kakashi sternly ordered, alerting everyone else present that something urgent was taking place. Naruto wasted no time in rushing over to their position, taking the necessary dodges required to avoid the flying kunai coming towards him. Leaping over Ino once he reached her, Naruto was completely taken by surprise by a speedy kick from Jinpachi, a malicious grin forming once the child flew backwards into the house.

Touching down on the ground once he proudly committed yet another case of child abuse, the bearded swordsman looked down at the blond haired girl in front of him, seemingly ignoring the two jonin rushing forth to put him down.

Ino's heart dropped into her stomach once she heard the man with the monstrous blade in front of him yell in Naruto's direction.

"Eye for an eye, brat!" With no further hesitation, he quickly drove his foot directly into Ino's body, showcasing a surprising amount of flexibility as he brought his leg up completely. Ino's airborne body stood no chance against the razor sharp edge of the sword cutting straight through her stomach, her screams of pain never getting the chance to be heard in the world.

Not done with his barbaric display of violence yet, he savagely grinned as several explosive tags attached to the now separate halves of the deceased Yamanaka, "Kai!"

The following explosion of blood, guts, and bones caused everyone aligned to the Konoha side to stop dead in their tracks.

Asuma wasn't expecting to be coated in one of his student's insides on this trip.

Kakashi wasn't expecting to get a face full of intestines on this mission.

Sakura wasn't expecting to watch her friend get absolutely decimated by a peculiar looking sword.

"INOOOO!" Her shrill scream of terror filled everyone's ears with dread.

Well, almost everyone.

"See what happens when you kill one of ours?! We come after yours, and you'd be lucky to have any remains of them." Jinpachi sinisterly cackled, channeling some of his fallen comrade's tendencies unknowingly.

Sakura was frozen in place.

Her best friend, just killed like that. There was literally bits and pieces of what was left of Ino covering her dress.

She didn't even get a chance to fight back.

It all happened so quickly.

She was so caught up in the fact that her best friend just died with no warning like that, she wasn't aware of the shadow descending down upon her. Kubikiribocho posed to split her down the middle as well, Zabuza taunted the shell shocked girl, "Feel free to join her!" He roared as he brought the edge of the massive sword down towards the top of her cranium.

A human sized projectile did the unthinkable however, and did a full body check to the sword, diverting its path at the last second to prevent Sakura getting killed as well. The sword inserted itself into the dirt, with another unidentified body grabbing into it to hold it in place. It didn't stop Zabuza from kicking the pink haired girl in the head though, but he did tense up momentarily once his feet touched the ground and his eyes met something he didn't really want to.

Crimson orbs full of pure, unadulterated hate and anger stared directly into his, the killing intent behind them instantly reminding him of his days with Yagura.

Only difference between the two sensations was that this was _far_ more potent. It almost wasn't even a contest.

There were no words exchanged. No witty banter. No hate filled dialogue.

Zabuza didn't miss yet another speedy blur take the pink haired brat away from the fray.

He didn't miss the ominous jutsu that was stayed with barely restrained rage either.

"Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift)."

The last thing that Zabuza got to see before everything faded to black was an arm pointed directly at his body from the chest up, with various hollowed out bones shooting a myriad of wind chakra coated fragments of sharp bones. The fragments shredded his upper body, mere human flesh standing no chance against such fast moving projectiles.

Naruto growled when he noticed that instead of blood flying everywhere, it was water acting as a substitute. _"Fucking water clone."_ He thought as he turned his attention towards Jinpachi. The two exchanged heated glares before Jinpachi broke out in hysterical laughter, pointing his sword at the bridge builder's house, "Bring down the house, Zabuza!" He ordered as he dodged a coordinated attack by Kakashi and Asuma.

"You're up, Haku! Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Jutsu)!" A voice called out from the forest as a massive dragon composed of water rushed from the forest, toppling trees in its hurry to demolish the house.

"Shit, kids! Get into the house and protect Tazuna at all costs! Naruto, you stay out here and help us with Jinpachi since you've fought him before!" Kakashi ordered, dodging a swipe from Jinpachi.

Kiba wasted no time and rushed into the house, informing everyone of their mission objective. Right before he braced for impact, he turned around and spotted Naruto outside facing down the oncoming dragon, orange chakra pouring off of him. The blond stared for a couple of more seconds before the chakra output that he was giving off skyrocketed as he slammed his hands into the ground.

"Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace)!"

Two massive skeletal hands, radiating the same colored chakra as their summoner, erupted out of the ground in a spectacular fashion on opposite sides of the house, clasping together at the fingers to shield the house from a majority of the damage.

Despite the hands shielding the house from a frontal assault, it didn't give the attack any cause for pause. It simply went around and relentlessly hammered into the house from the opening provided by the two hands not fully meeting.

There's always a chink in the armor, and the caster of the water jutsu took advantage of that with no remorse. After watching one side of the house get demolished and flooded, Zabuza signalled for Haku to complete her role in the operation, "Trap them all in and get rid of them. Bring the old man's head back to the hideout when you're done." She didn't even stick around to be told twice. Such an effective tool.

Once she rushed past the ongoing chaos, Haku landed into a healthy amount of water that pooled around the outside of the house. Zabuza put a lot of effort into that jutsu in order to provide her enough water to prevent anyone from escaping. She really didn't want to kill anyone, but her master's orders came before her personal wishes. If he needed her to be, she'd be the most heartless kunoichi that she could be.

Taking account of all of the water that was present within the house, Haku nodded before completing several one handed seals, "Makyō Hyōshō (Demonic Mirroring Ice Crystals)." A majority of the water rose up to surround the house, forming into individual blocks of highly reflective ice.

Kiba gulped as he, alongside Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Sakura noticed the multitude of ice mirrors hovering over them ominously. If the sight of the mirrors alone weren't enough to unnerve them, the image of a masked being brandishing senbon needles appearing in every single mirror gave them the necessary push.

The following words chilled them all to the bone, "I'm here for the bridge builder's head. I won't stop until he's dead. I don't want to kill any of you, but if you're adamant on protecting him then you're setting yourself up to die." All of those reflections speaking at the same time sent an echo throughout the remainder of the house, not filling them with any warm feelings.

This day just kept going straight to hell.

X.X.X.

Jutsu List:

Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift): B rank, Offensive, Short range, Kekkei Genkai. The Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) user grows hollowed out bones that extend from their forearm. Using Uzumaki styled chakra exercises, the user creates razor sharp fragments of bones and propels them out at near instantaneous speeds, similar to a modern day shotgun.

Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace): C rank, Offensive/Defensive, Kekkei Genkai. The Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse) user slams their hands into the ground to saturate the intended area with their chakra. Once they give the appropriate amount of chakra, skeletal hands come from the ground, their size depending on the level of chakra poured into the technique. Can be used to defend someone or used for offensive purposes.

X.X.X.

 **This one just flew straight out of my head, good God. And look, we finally get to see Naruto's new jutsus!**

 **I was going to do another omake, but I got lazy and lost the motivation for it.**

 **Don't get used to the updates being this frequent though, it's still on the updated whenever it's updated schedule.**

 **So feel free to ask me stuff that I can answer. Read and review, and expect the wave arc to be wrapped up within the next chapter or so.**

 **Oh yeah, and Happy Halloween. I'm saying this ahead of time in case I update before or after Halloween. Y'all be safe, don't hop into strange vans for candy, and enjoy scaring the shit out of people if that's what gets you going. Quiktrip hot dogs get me going.**

 **Until next time folks, Spvnk out.**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: As of right now, I do not own the Naruto franchise. Once I learn how to dimension hop however, I'll go to a universe where an alternative copy of me owns it. I'll get rid of him, then live out my dreams and roll around in money.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 10: Passionate Omnipotence**

 **X.X.X.**

(Haku vs the Genin)

"Get to Tazuna, I'll hold this bitch off!" Kiba barked as he and a transformed Akamaru prepared to launch their assault. Fangs bared and tempers flared, the bestial duo rushed forward towards the nearest mirror that prevented them from leaving the house. Both slashed at the mirror with ferocious vigor, but found their efforts for naught as they couldn't deal any lasting damage.

"That won't work." Haku evenly informed, dashing from a mirror that overlooked the beginning attack directly into the mirror under fire. She made sure to stab one of the feral fighters on her way in.

"Kiba, get back!" Shikamaru yelled as Sakura disappeared further into the remains of the house, searching for Tazuna in order to keep him secure. That powerful water jutsu destroyed a good portion of the house while flooding the rest. The upper level was barely there any more, while the lower level has clearly seen better days. Walls were knocked down, furniture was obliterated, and glass was shattered and strewn about.

The enemy had created a myriad of these mirrors. A majority of them were placed outside the house in a incomplete dome like formation, with several of them being in strategically placed positions throughout the house. Shikamaru's keen mind took notice of the fact that each of the mirrors inside provided some form of a direct view of each other and filed that little part away.

Right now, they were completely locked in. Tazuna was luckily in a part of the house that didn't get smacked with the aquatic assault, but he needed to be out of here. Between being locked in a dome full of copies of their enemy and being outside with open space, not counting the two monsters in human skin, Shikamaru knew that they were screwed at the moment.

The opposition managed to alter the battlefield to supplement their abilities, and from the data that he collected from watching Kiba attack the mirrors, it wasn't going to be easy to get rid of the advantage. For now, they had to regroup and talk strategy.

Troublesome mission, "Everybody fall back now! We have to regroup!"

"That won't be necessary." The reflections chimed out simultaneously, throwing multiple needles at each of the genin.

Shikamaru hastily dived down a hallway behind him with Sasuke following suit, using the wall for cover. Kiba was slow on the uptake due to his battle induced frenzy, and caught several senbon in his back for his negligence as he rushed for cover, Akamaru trailing behind him as well.

Instead of pressing on with her obvious advantage, Haku merely travelled to another mirror in order to keep an eye on the four man squad of genin. Her objective was to eliminate the bridge builder, take his head off of his shoulders, and rendezvous back to the hideout with the evidence that the deed was done. On the inside she objected to leaving her sensei alone to fight, but she knew better.

Zabuza was the master in their little relationship for a reason, a very good reason at that.

But part of her mission meant locating the target, which she wasn't even going to have to do apparently if she was assuming correctly. The genin were taking the necessary steps to secure their client and go from there.

All she had to do was watch them, and wait for an opening. The mission's objective would be out and about sooner or later, and with the amount of water that she used to create these mirrors lessening her chakra usage, she could sit patiently for a good amount of time.

X.X.X

(Outside with Naruto and Adult Pals)

Jinpachi let out a low growl as he stared down his opposition. The jinchuuriki brat managed to prevent the house from being destroyed. Apparently he's picked up a neat trick or two since their last encounter.

He didn't dare to forget about that jutsu on Zabuza's clone either. Clearly it wasn't a jutsu meant for playing around. It completely decimated the damp doppelganger...

He had to raise his sword to block yet another slash from those cursed knuckle blades wielded by the bearded tree hugger. Apparently he was the son of the third Hokage, so he couldn't be some slouch. Asuma Sarutobi...

Come to think of it, he was a pretty decent shinobi if his bounty in the black book was a trustworthy indicator. That settles it!

He was already going to get paid for having that old drunk's head delivered to the rich midget, but why stop there? Right in front of him stood two high ranking bounties who, at the moment, couldn't score a definite blow on him. The combination of his years as an elite ninja and the downright ridiculous abilities of his sword were enough to keep the two at bay for now since they were trying their hand at weapon fighting.

Kakashi kept a kunai firmly gripped and primed to end his life every time he came near. Jinpachi had a sneaking suspicion that the kunai may or may not have been charged with lightning chakra.

But that Asuma character was clearly the more dangerous one as of now in terms of close range combat. Kakashi of the Sharingan was known for supposedly having enough jutsu under his belt to kill a man in over a thousand ways. He was also known for being above average in genjutsu, taijutsu, and even a little bit of kenjutsu. Even with all of those facets of his skill set, anyone who's fought the man or heard enough stories about his battle prowess knows that ninjutsu was his bread and butter.

This Asuma on the other hand, was a close range nightmare. Those blades on his knuckles, while seemingly short and not as intimidating as his blade, still had a absolute warning sign about them if you engaged with the Sarutobi. He assumed that Asuma had wind chakra circulating through the weapons in order to extend their reach, thus enabling the man to score a slash or two even when he missed.

He couldn't even begin to imagine how Zabuza was doing with the jinchuuriki brat since they disappeared off into the forest. The telltale sounds of battle made it clear that the two were trying their hardest to murder each other in cold blood, but determining who was actually winning off of the sounds themselves was a whole different story.

Shaking his head clear of the distracting thoughts, he gave a retaliatory slash back to Asuma, letting a couple of explosive tags run free to detonate in his opponent's face.

"Shit!" The Sarutobi exclaimed as he leapt back with speeds that only a jonin could achieve, managing to barely escape the same fate as his late student.

Skidding to a stop, he bared his teeth in pure, unadulterated hate. This bastard just killed his student, wants to kill his other two students, plus one of Kakashi's kids. He knew that them being sent as more back up meant that these two were clearly not playing games, but shit!

How in the hell were Naruto and Shikamaru handling it?

Well, judging by the absolute rage and malice that enveloped Naruto once all of that happened, Asuma could say without a doubt that having Jinpachi's head would be an amazing birthday present for the blond.

Shikamaru on the other hand...

No, Shikamaru is still probably keeping his head on his shoulders. As a matter of fact, he wasn't even outside to see the sheer brutality take place. But Kiba and Sakura were.

Damn. Sakura was Ino's best friend. Judging by that bloodcurdling scream, she probably took it the hardest out of all of them. Maybe Naruto and Sakura were tied for first place, who knows.

There was one thing he knew for certain though.

Blood was spilled on their side, so blood had to get spilled on their side.

X.X.X

(Hidden Base, Undisclosed Location)

Sakon and Jirobo walked towards their master's sealing room in a tremendous amount of trepidation. Walking behind the duo camly, Kimimaro paid no mind to their dispositions as they proceeded through the base. Orochimaru had a mission for these two in particular, a very important mission at that.

The sinister grin evident on the Sannin's face gave Kimimaro all of the information he needed to know about their mission. Whatever it was, there was a guaranteed chance of pain taking place for whoever was involved.

Easily being the more relaxed of the two, Jirobo looked at his longtime friend, "Have any idea what he wants us for?" It could have literally been anything. No task was too demeaning, no challenge was too difficult. If the snake wanted it done, come hell or high water, and give or take a cold body or a dozen, it was going to get done.

Sakon ran a hand through his silver hair as he rolled his eyes, "Tch. Hell if I know. Hopefully it's something involving some Konoha trash again. I'm really itching to kill a tree hugger." Obviously that defeat at the hands of the only other male Sannin left a sour taste in Sakon's mouth to this day.

Granted, there was absolutely no way in hell that Sakon could've won a no holds barred fight with Jiraiya even if Jiraiya fought with a hand tied behind his back in the past, but the causal manner of how easily the toad sage got the drop on him still irked his soul. That's why he's been training his ass off ever since that day, eager to get a shot at the man again.

He was pretty confident that he stood a chance, especially if he went all out with his cursed seal. Only time would tell though.

"So eager to go after Konoha ninja still..." Jirobo mused as they bent a corner, passing by a couple of nondescript shinobi in the base. They gave the trio a _wide_ birth, not wanting to incur the wrath of Orochimaru's favorites. Living was a luxury they loved to afford.

Smacking a fist into an open palm, Sakon hungrily grinned, "You're damn right! They're all pieces of worthless trash! The world would be a lot better without them thinking they're the top dogs running the yard. I'm easily better than any of them even on my worst days."

Kimimaro snorted.

Sakon turned around in disbelief, a rather hostile vibe emanating from him, "You snorting? Got a cold or are you disagreeing with me?" He must have forgotten who was the top dog in this yard that wasn't Orochimaru.

Finding himself harshly deposited into the earthen wall to the side of them, Sakon couldn't help but claw at the arm that held him against the wall by his throat almost effortlessly, "Get the hell off of me!"

Jirobo watched the albino deprive the effeminate boy of some precious oxygen while simultaneously choking some sense into him with a shake of the head, "You really shouldn't get so fired up so easily, Sakon. See what happens when you hype yourself up around the wrong people?" Kimimaro was known throughout the various bases under Orochimaru for never hesitating to put somebody on their back for acting up.

"Fuck you and him! Quit being condescending and help me, you fatass!" He wheezed as he flailed about frantically.

Jirobo looked at Kimimaro.

Kimimaro looked back.

Jirobo recalled that time that Sakon ate his last bit of sushi he left in the fridge one time.

Kimimaro pulled Sakon out of his hole in the wall.

Jirobo shoulder checked Sakon right back into the wall before sparing Kimimaro an approving glance.

Kimimaro nodded with a light smile as he increased the pressure he applied around Sakon's poor neck.

Ten minutes later once Sakon woke up and regained a healthy amount of oxygen in his lungs, they all continued to move towards Orochimaru's sealing room.

"I. Hate. Youuuuuu." He growled as he glared daggers at his portly comrade. He would've gave Kimimaro some of that hardcore glaring action, but he just got the fear of Kaguya choked into him and didn't want a repeat performance.

"Now what is the lesson that we've learned?" Jirobo asked tauntingly.

"That I should dump all of your food in the toilet since you wanna side with the albino asshole."

Sakon chuckled at Jirobo's reaction to his threat, feeling quite satisfied until something felt wrong...

"Damn albino asshole." He muttered as he increased his walking pace once he felt a malevolent hand approach the back of his neck, "Fuck off, damn you."

Jirobo chuckled at the display. Despite their open hostility to each other, all three of them there cared for each other. That care was buried deeply within their twisted little hearts, but it was still there. They were sort of like brothers that grew up in a pretty rough environment with a jaded view on how to care for one another.

Instead of hugs and supporting words, dimming each other's lights were the norm for showing affection.

They all originally hated each other, but eventually grew close together once that fateful night.

The night when Naruto and Tayuya left.

The night when Kidomaru died due to Naruto.

The night when Orochimaru went even farther off of the deep end. They thought they'd seen the snake mad before.

That time period reminded them exactly why Orochimaru was in charge around these parts. Savage beating after savage beating, agonizing training session after agonizing training session, it just continued and continued. Even Kimimaro got some discipline, and his was arguably the worst since he had the most durability out of the three.

Realizing that the hostile environment that they were in turned into a living replica of the deepest pits of hell, they all eventually started to rely on one another more than before. They needed to in order to survive. There was no other alternative.

Either stay alone and hostile just to get slaughtered, or band together and watch each other's backs.

A pair of snapping fingers brought the largest one there out of his musings as they approached an ominous looking door, "Stop fantasizing about getting lovey dovey with some pork chops for five seconds. We're here." Sakon informed him as he pushed open the door.

The three walked into the room, taking note of the various scientific instruments and brushes strewn about the room. Countless sheets of scribbled on papers littered the floor and tables placed in the room.

Clearly Orochimaru has been working diligently on whatever he's been interested in.

"I see you've managed to get a hold of those two. Wonderful job, Kimimaro-kun!" Orochimaru proudly congratulated from the shadows of the room. Kimimaro gave a content smile at the praise that he was receiving, "But of course, Orochimaru-sama. Your wish is my command." And he meant that, too.

He'd move mountains, journey to hell and back, and kill anyone, all for the man who he thought of as his father.

Emerging from the shadows with a serpentine smile in play, Orochimaru placed his open palms out towards the two teenagers he sent for. There were things to do, places to go, and people to kidnap, "I have a mission of the utmost importance for you two. I'm assuming that neither of you won't let me down." God damn, that wicked smile just oozed nothing but bad vibes to the boys. Kimimaro fared far better against the oppressive feeling, but knew instinctively that his assumption needed to be proven correct unless they had a hankering for some pain.

"Of course, Orochimaru-sama. What is our task?" Jirobo respectfully asked, already down on one knee with his head bowed. Sakon followed suit quickly, yet wore a sneer as he glared at the ground. He really hated being around the snake.

"It's quite the simple task, really."

He paused for dramatic effect, inwardly snickering on the inside once he saw the flinch in Sakon's body posture. The last time he told them something was a simple task, they managed to inch their way back on the brink of death.

All they had to do was go check on the orgin of his signature curse marks. Fairly simple.

Too bad that the orgin had a slight mood swing when they happened to show up.

At least they learned how to survive against a formidable enemy.

"What is it, Orochimaru-sama?" Kimimaro asked, curiosity present in his voice.

Turning around dramatically to face his favorite albino, Orochimaru simply cracked another grin chock full of sinister intent, "Simple. Those two are going to get an old friend of theirs back. Once I make some last minute tweaks to their seals, they'll be on their way..."

How hard could it be?

X.X.X.

(With Sakura and Company)

"Where is Tazuna-san?" Sakura asked as all four of the Konoha genin gathered their breath in the hallway, ignoring the streams and drops of water from the floor above. That water dragon punched more than a few holes into the once pristine house.

Shikamaru scrunched his face up in concentration, and as a reflex due to a couple of stray drops finding their way onto his face, "Shit, this is troublesome..." He growled as he looked down the hallway to see if they were being followed.

The reflective surface that was visible through one of the holes in the ceiling didn't escape Shikamaru's notice.

The flash of several senbon needles being shown in the ice mirror didn't either.

Dashing into what he believed to be the restroom door, he broke the defenseless piece of wood down to avoid having some senbon needles attempt to massage his brain. The bathroom turned out to be one of the rooms in the house that didn't suffer that much damage compared to the others. Lights were completely gone though, but nothing could be perfect at the moment.

He placed his hand on what he suspected to be the sink counter, and paused once the smell of fear and cheap liquor invaded his nostrils.

The hell?

CRACK!

"If I'm going out, I'm going out with a bang, damn you!" A slightly drunken voice bellowed with a tinge of resignation being heard clearly. That loud crack sounded like a glass bottle being broken...

Through the use of his budding sixth shinobi sense, the Nara was able to dodge the broken beer bottle aimed at his chest, moving behind the offender and wrapping him around the neck with efficiency.

Hearing the commotion from the hall, Sasuke and Kiba ran in the cramped room ready to fight to the death, only to fight the urge to face palm at the sight of their client being placed in a textbook headlock.

"Need I ask why he's in a headlock?" Sasuke sighed, still keeping an eye out for their opponent.

"He tried to stab me."

"In my defense, I'm drunk as a sailor and I thought he was the enemy."

"Quiet you."

"Ugh, he reeks of beer and fear... is that urine I smell too?"

"I was taking a piss. What, is it suddenly a crime for a grown man to use the restroom for its intended purposes?!" He rhetorically slurred as Shikamaru relinquished his hold on the aged bridge builder.

"Enough of this. Tazuna-san, we need to keep you secure and alive at the moment.

Sakura walked forward, a slight tremble in her step. She was so glad that the water pouring onto them from above masked her tears. She really didn't know what to feel at this moment.

Her best friend just got slaughtered, literally _slaughtered_ like it was an everyday occurrence.

The sun rose and descended, the tides pushed and pulled, and her best friends get chopped in half and blown to pieces.

Hell, there was still blood and brain matter on her dress and in her hair.

The gravity of the situation was bearing down on the poor Haruno. Bearing down so much that it wasn't a surprise when she couldn't hold back the tears or the contents of her stomach any longer.

"Sakura! The hell?" Kiba recoiled in disgust as the pungent odor of vomit invaded his nostrils. Everyone else shared his sentiments, but didn't vocalize them due to the pressing matter of tears cascading down the pink haired girl's face.

"Oh dear Kami... you drunk some of my liquor, didn't you? This isn't for the faint of heart, girlie! Stick to the lightweight stuff!" Tazuna slurred as he produced a bottle in a brown paper bag that certainly contained a very advanced beverage.

Clearly he didn't understand the mood at the moment.

Sakura stood in the doorway for what seemed like an eternity, head lowered in a defeated manner.

Sasuke, despite wanting nothing to do with her fantasies of romance, couldn't help but feel a tinge of empathy for his teammate. Whatever's got her like this must he something serious so he needed to do something. He knew that he'd have the best shot at getting her to talk since she idolized the ground he walked on.

Shikamaru could probably get her to talk, but it'll take more poking and prodding that they didn't have the appropriate amount of time for.

Kiba trying to talk to her... yeah, no. He'd probably take this moment if weakness as a cue to attempt to woo her with some of his non existent game.

Not what they needed at all at the moment.

Walking to stand in front of her, he placed a somewhat concerned hand on her shoulder, "Sakura. What's wrong?"

Her feelings were so numb and dead at the moment that she didn't even register the fact that her object of admiration was mere inches away from her face, trying to console her. All she could do was let tears run freely and sniff up some snot that threatened to hang from her nose as she let them know just how sour shit went.

"Ino's dead."

X.X.X.

(Somewhere In the Village, Konoha)

Munch munch.

The sounds of a crumpling bag of potato chips was music to Choji's ears as he strolled out of his clan compound. With his team being sent out on a mission, he had absolutely nothing on schedule for today.

With that in mind, why not take a stroll through the village? Surely something interesting was bound to pop up. So stroll he did.

Mouth contently moving through the motions required in order to prepare his snack for digestion, Choji walked down one of the main roads, taking in the sights of everyday life in Konoha.

Civilians going about their business, some casually moving while others frantically rushed.

Shinobi doing the same, except taking advantage of their supernatural abilities and using the rooftops as an available avenue of transportation.

The smells of delicious food being cooked to perfection wafting through the air, immediately catching the Akimichi's attention. Specifically the smell of ramen. His body moved on autopilot towards the stand that the intoxicating aroma originated from as he started to ponder about his friends.

 _"I wonder how that mission is going for them. Hope it isn't too tough... oh what am I saying? Sasuke, Sakura, and Kiba are pretty good. They can handle themselves. Besides, it's protecting a bridge builder. What could go wrong?"_

Oh boy. If only he knew.

He was honestly a little miffed that he just had to have an important clan discussion to attend right around the time when his team was picked for C ranked missions. Yes, the Akimichi diet discussion was a highly important topic for the future of the clan and potential jutsu discoveries, but seriously. He wanted a chance to get some experience too.

There's only so much experience that D ranked missions can provide before you just get tired of them. The novelty of cleaning up dog crap around the village wore off in about five minutes. Plus it did nothing for his growing eagerness in terms of wanting a challenge.

He wasn't on Naruto's, Sasuke's, or Kiba's level of combat hunger, but being a growing boy did mean that testosterone was at the door knocking with vigor.

Hmm, maybe he should train today to blow off a little steam. Running over a training dummy or seven always did light a warm fuzzy feeling in his heart.

"Ah, an Akimichi! What can I do for you, potential source of money?"

BANG!

"I mean, young man?"

"You've got to stop referring to everyone as money, dad! They're people, with emotions and thoughts and personalities!"

Choji cringed in his seat once he saw the aged man get his wig popped open by a supersonic skillet. Wow, he was so engulfed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice sitting down in the stall already.

Situational awareness could wait for now. Ramen was the prime focus at the moment.

Still finishing off that bag of chips, Choji gazed upon the menu that hung over the victim's head, eyes squinting as he took in all of his available options.

Shrimp ramen? Hmm, that's a possibility.

Beef ramen? Ah, a classic. Definitely a potential canidate for consumption.

Chicken ramen? Yet another classic. Gotta add that to the growing list as well.

Pork ramen? Sweet Kami, that was looking delicious.

"C-Choji-san!" A familiar shy voice greeted as Choji registered the presences of two more people entering the stall. There was only one person that stuttered like that.

"Hey Hinata and Shino! What's up, guys?" Choji pleasantly greeted as he turned around to wave, smiling warmly at two fellow genin.

"What is up, you ask? Simple. We are in search of some cheap, yet decent food before we begin another training session with Kurenai-sensei." Shino informed, shifting his glasses in a traditional anime way as he and Hinata took their seats.

Still mulling over his choices, Choji looked over at the two Team Eight genin, "You guys are training today?"

They both nodded as Shino spoke up, "Indeed we are. We would be training more heavily, however that is not the case at the moment. Why you ask?"

 _"I didn't ask."_ Choji deadpanned.

"Simple. It is due to the fact that Kiba is not here, and Kurenai sensei wants us all to get the maximum amount of training done together." Shino factually stated, perusing over the menu. Hinata did the same.

Training... Choji could really go for some training. There was nothing to do, so why not go along with them?

"Hey... you guys mind if I come along? I don't have anything else to do today."

"Sure, Choji. I'm pr-pretty sure that sensei won't mind."

Excellent. Everything always falls into place...

"Oh money, di-"

The sound of a menacing skillet reminded Teuchi where his recent budding concussion came from.

"I meant kids, did you place your orders yet? We're having a special today!"

"A special you say?" Shino curiously mused.

"Buy two pork ramens, get another flavor of ramen for free!"

A slam on the table interrupted Teuchi's extravagant sales pitch, as a eager Choji with flames flaring in his eyes slammed his meaty fist down on the counter, "I'll take four pork ramens, one free beef, and one free chicken!" Good Lord, if that wasn't a deal from Kami herself, Choji didn't know what could be.

At least the day was starting off good for him.

X.X.X

(Naruto vs Zabuza)

"Damn it brat, stay still!"

"No!"

Zabuza leapt up immediately into the air to avoid a pair of hands erupting from the ground and destroying his ankles. Ascending close enough to a tree, he stuck to the wooden denizen of the forest as he took note of the clones of his enemy on the ground floor.

As soon as he sent Haku into the house to kill the kiddies and the bridge builder, he had the seventh circle of hell unleashed upon him. Up to what he estimated to be about fifty clones of the jinchuuriki brat bum rushed his position, trying their hardest to grab, stab, or reduce him to mulch with those dangerous bone projectiles.

He wasn't an elite for nothing, and for the majority of the battle he was chopping any clone that decided to get close to him to pieces. Dispatching identical versions of the same annoyance through heinous methods has never been this fun before, simply because Zabuza had to work for each kill. The kid was clearly not genin level if you went by skill, and he was smart enough to never get too close to Zabuza himself due to the obvious advantage that Zabuza held. Therefore the battle kept going since Naruto couldn't dish out anything at range that was strong enough to score a decisive blow.

"Tenshi Sendan (Ten Finger Drilling Bullets)!"

Leaping away to avoid being riddled with holes, Zabuza swung his mammoth blade above him to take out the clone attempting to head him off. Crafty little bastard, trying to lead him into an ambush.

Too bad that Zabuza's experience with traps was completely staggering. Being a missing nin that survived this long meant that you knew your way around a trap or two.

"Shit." Naruto lowly growled from his cover within a bush. Even with his biju helping him, Naruto knew that the battle was at a standstill. He needed to try something new...

Trying to use Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift) on him didn't work since he made sure to keep anybody with blond hair at the end of Kubikiribocho.

Clone barrages didn't do nothing but relay memories to Naruto showing just how handy the missing nin was with the steel.

He was even on the lookout for clones underground! That was supposed to be a foolproof tactic, damn it!

He would bet money that Jinpachi told him about that little part of his battle style. Asshole.

There's one thing he hasn't tried yet though...

Once he landed on a nearby branch, Zabuza was rewarded with the sight of what he assumed to be the actual Naruto running out of his bushy cover. The jinchuuriki ran back towards the sounds of Jinpachi and Kakashi and Asuma fighting, which prompted Zabuza to raise a curious eyebrow.

 _"What's he up to?"_

Using speed only a jonin could achieve, Zabuza leapt from tree to tree in an effort to cut the boy off. Once he landed in front of the boy, he wasted no time and sought to slice the child's head from his shoulders.

Expecting a decapitation attempt, Naruto threw his head back so quickly that his head touched the ground, leaving his body in a bridge position. Naruto kicked a foot out towards Zabuza's hip, complete with jagged bones sticking out of the sole.

Casually moving to the side to avoid the kick meant to cripple his mobility, Zabuza responded to the attack with a crude retaliation of his own in the form of a brutal punt kick. A satisfying thud rang out as Naruto's body went straight to a nearby tree at a decent speed.

His body cracked against the tree and rebounded off, only for Zabuza to stab him right back onto it, leaving the dazed jinchuuriki impaled on the bark. Despite being stabbed with a blade that was bigger than him, Naruto still found enough energy to flash a demonic, psychotic smile that made the Kyuubi proud at Zabuza.

" _The hell?"_

Sizzzzzzzzle.

 _"I hate this kid."_

Five minutes later Zabuza found himself at the base of a tree, bleeding and shaken up from that ridiculous explosion. The once again fragmented Kubikiribocho laid a couple of feet away from him, making him grit his teeth in frustration, "You'd think that little shit wouldn't like explosives at all after dealing with Jinpachi." He muttered darkly.

"I hate him and those damn clones of his... wait, what's that?"

The fire that began to consume that area of the forest caught his attention, simply due to the fact that the boy himself was walking out of it. Appearing to be a reaper from hell itself, Naruto stalked towards the down swordsman, the flames around him enhancing his killing intent somehow.

Crimson eyes stared down their prey.

Fingernails turned into claws.

A low guttural growl escaped the jinchuuriki's throat, "You guys just had to kill Ino." He snarled with barely constrained rage as he inched towards Zabuza.

Zabuza snorted, "Kid if you think that everyone's supposed to stay alive during a battle like this, you're dead on your feet. Death is as common in our line of work as heat is in the desert. The quicker you stop expecting everything to go your way in life, the better off you'll be."

"I don't wanna hear that bullshit."

"Call it what you want, it's the truth. Think of it as science kid: whether you believe it or not, it's still true." Such a cynical viewpoint...

At this point in the conversation, Naruto came to stand in front of the injured swordsman, still flaring enough killing intent to give an elephant a seizure. He flexed his hands, as if he was determining whether he wanted to gouge his throat out yet, "You can't have that much cynicism in you."

"I can. Let me clue you in on something kid... when you live as long as me, when you live to see everything around you go to hell in a hand basket, there isn't any more room for optimism. It gets you killed." He explained as he subtly geared himself to kill the child. Poor idiot was getting too cocky and lowering his guard trying to talk philosophy with the swordsman, and he was intent on capitalizing on the situation.

"Optimism isn't what gets you killed, being blind to the cruel horrors of this world is what puts you in the dirt." Naruto shot back, surprising the older male there, "Without optimism you have nothing to look forward to in life. You can't sit here and tell me that there's nothing driving you forward in life, nothing that you're trying to accomplish."

Dryly chuckling, Zabuza nodded at Naruto, "You have a point there, kid. Color me surprised... it's not like you'd understand what I'm trying to accomplish, but I guess I can throw you that bone before I chop your head off."

Casting a look chock full of skepticism at the man who began to bleed from the bandages wrapped around his mouth, Naruto tightened his fists in preparation to dim his lights should he make a wrong move, "You don't seem like you can even really move at this point."

"I've been through a lot worse, kid. Moving after getting hit with that explosion is nothing to me. But for your information, my main goal is to go back to Kirigakure and kill the fourth Mizukage." He stated evenly.

Naruto deadpanned. He made that sound so easy, like it was a simple thing to just go check off of a grocery list or something.

"That's a tall task, don't you think?"

"I owe it to him. He told me that if the situation over there ever got too out of hand, I'm the one that needs to kill him." He informed, mentally wincing at memories of the past with him and Yagura.

They were damn near brothers in all but blood, and now he had to end his life. Naruto was right, it was a tall task considering Yagura was a jinchuuriki _and_ a Kage. But come hell or high water, it had to happen.

"Seems we both have big challenges ahead of us in life."

"What, are you after a S ranked shinobi too?" Zabuza snorted in a joking manner.

"Yup. Before I die, Orochimaru has to die too." Count on Naruto to always be able to drop jaws and surprise everyone.

Zabuza looked like a fish out of water once he heard that. Sure the kid had a bit of skill behind him, but Orochimaru was a completely different species of monster in the world.

He himself was confident in his sword play and shinobi skills, but to go up against a Sannin... all three of them could kill him easily. All they had to do was sneeze on Naruto and he'd be six feet under.

He had stones though, that's something that Zabuza could say about him.

"That's quite the tall task for you, ain't it?" Zabuza mocked, eyeing the bones sliding out of the boy's arm. It's that technique again...

"Yeah, we both have some pretty tough obstacles to overcome in the future... too bad you aren't living to see yours completed. Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift)." Naruto growled as he pointed his arm at Zabuza's head.

POOF!

A flaming log took the rouge swordsman's place, getting absolutely demolished. Naruto's eyes widened in surprise at the sudden Kawarimi no Jutsu (Body Replacement Technique) before he leapt away from that position.

"Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hiding in Mist Technique)." Zabuza's voice coldly called out as a rapidly thickening mist enveloped Naruto. Within seconds the clearing was completely filled with the chakra saturated mist, with the only thing being visible for Naruto was the orange haze from the part of the forest that was on fire.

"You got too cocky, brat. Never let your guard down in a fight like this..."

A large amount of killing intent emanated right in front of Naruto as he registered the sensation of a blade sliding across his chest and a critical kick kissing his jaw, effectively injuring him and taking him off of his feet.

"Best believe your opponent will make you pay for your mistakes." The Demon in the mist disappeared so quickly one could swear he wasn't there in the first place.

As Naruto's bleeding body skidded to a stop, he couldn't help but let loose a tear as his chest wept blood for a couple of agonizing seconds. He mentally began to kick himself as a combination of his healing factor and the Kyuubi's chakra began to mend the sizeable wound. His kekkei genkai prevented the broken blade from going deep enough to slice up anything important, but that pain was terrible.

It made him even more angrier than before.

 **"Need me to heal that for you?"** The Kyuubi offered as he slipped more and more of his chakra into Naruto's system on the sly. This is just what he needed! All he had to do was make him manifest a tail and he'd probably lose all control.

Maybe he could take his body on a joyride and kill the rest of the fools, Konoha shinobi included. The looks on their faces as they watched one of their own disembowl each and every one of them would probably make the Kyuubi a very happy camper.

" _No thanks."_ Naruto deadpanned. He could feel the Kyuubi's chakra grow stronger and stronger, and honestly it felt great. He already felt like an unstoppable beast of pure awesome, but the biju's chakra was enhancing that feeling to untold levels.

That settles it. Once this wound healed up enough, he'd rip Zabuza's throat out, kill that cute girl with the water skills, and tap dance in Jinpachi's chest cavity.

Woah, that was a little dark for him. Sure the asshole definitely deserved it but that didn't seem like something Naruto would aspire to do...

Naruto narrowed his eyes, " _Damn you."_

Innocent whistling could be heard within Naruto's head before a sigh was heard, **"You know you want to... heads up brat."**

Naruto backflipped away with no hesitation, narrowly avoiding a reformed Kubikiribocho depositing itself into his skull. An orange haze radiated off of his person as he instinctively lowered himself to all fours, eyes scanning the area around him.

"Just because you're glowing doesn't mean I can't kill you, boy." Naruto's enemy echoed, his voice not coming from any particular direction. Naruto couldn't even see his hands, yet he was surprisingly able to pinpoint exactly where Zabuza was.

 _ **"Go get him brat. With all if that killing intent he's putting out he might as well be lighting himself on fire in a dark room."**_ The Kyuubi mused, picking up on the signs that showed that Naruto was sensing the negative energy as well. That side ability of his was probably the only thing that prevented Naruto from getting completely blindsided at this point.

Without further fanfare, Zabuza descended down upon the boy, his murderous intent rising to palpable levels. He clicked his teeth in irritation as once again, the boy dodged his attack as though he knew where Zabuza was coming from...

Zabuza had to put his musings on pause in order to dodge a swipe taking his head off from behind, turning around in order to dish out a retaliatory strike with his blade. A stern kick to his sternum gave him a large amount of surprise as he was sent flying through the forest, knocking down trees and all, _"Fast, but how is he competing with me in the mist?!"_

It was a really important question. The Kirigakure no Jutsu (Hiding in Mist Technique) is supposed to render pretty much anyone who hasn't extensively trained to fight inside of it helpless. The sheer fact that this genin, despite having an advanced skill level for his ranking, isn't dead by now is completely throwing Zabuza for a loop.

In the mist, Zabuza didn't need eyesight like the average chump. Using his hearing was good enough to slaughter his opponents whenever he threw up his signature technique. But this Naruto kid on the other hand was baffling him...

Unless he had supersonic bat hearing, there shouldn't be any way that he was sticking with him like this. Gritting his teeth as he slid to a stop, he made sure to listen extra hard for the jinchuuriki in case he tried to sneak up on him. He was fast enough to dodge and counterattack to throw him off balance, so the Momochi wasn't going to take any chances.

Eventually he heard rapidly approaching footsteps coming his way, and prepared to attempt to take the boy's head off of his shoulders yet again, yet was surprised by two hands gripping his ankles.

"Fuck!" Zabuza cursed. To his surprise, they didn't pierce his joints like he was expecting them to, which confused him.

That momentary confusion was all Naruto needed though, "Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace)!"

Two menacing hands of skeletal origin arose from the ground to render him into a fine Momochi paste. While smaller than the previous usage, the hands seemed to converge much faster than their predecessors.

Fuck, now he was really screwed. Those hands gripping his ankles were probably going to cripple him if he tried to move away, with the mist up there wasn't anything in sight to Kawarimi (Body Replacement Technique) with, and he didn't have any defensive jutsu to throw up at the last second. Weighing all of his options, he spared his sword a glance before donning a grim facade.

Placing his sword horizontally at the very last second, Zabuza's risky gamble paid off as the two hands momentarily faltered, their caster obviously not expecting any major resistance. He used the moment to bolt away from that position, frowning deeply once he heard his Kubikiribocho break into multiple fragments. Disappearing into the foliage, he took the time to assess the situation and his status.

His sword was demolished at this point.

He was still pretty banged up from that explosive tag earlier.

... Yeah, he could see why Jinpachi hauled ass the first time he ran into this brat. Running into him unprepared was a recipe for disaster, especially since he had a kekkei genkai too. It really wasn't hard to see why Kushimaru kicked the bucket when they encountered him for the first time now.

Speaking of kekkei genkai, he wondered how Haku was holding up. Judging by the ongoing sounds of explosions and chaos, it was safe to say that Jinpachi was still alive and kicking, meaning that Kakashi and the other jonin were occupied.

He'd be slightly worried if either one of them went to go deal with Haku... she wasn't ready for high level battle like that. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud, but he did care about the girl.

For now though, he could worry about her later. He had a sword to retrieve and a jinchuuriki to keep at bay.

"Thought you could get away?" A chipped Kubikiribocho was almost pleased to make its acquaintance with Zabuza's neck, yet the sheer tenacity and reflexes that the swordsman owned prevented that from happening. Instead, he jumped above the attempt on his life, landed _on_ the remains of the sword, delivered a speedy kick to the jinchuuriki's maw, used the opportunity to take his weapon back, and brutally stabbed the child in the stomach repeatedly.

Once he heard the telltale sounds of labored breathing and a thud signifying a fall, Zabuza snorted as he felt Kubikiribocho repair itself, "Talking is a luxury you enjoy when the battle is over kid, not during it. I can see right now that your downfall was that you're too cocky for your own good. Oh well, no skin off of my back. Time to go make sure that Haku is safe..." Without further ado, Zabuza vacated the premises, never noticing the twitching ears of his supposedly defeated enemy.

 _"Make sure that Haku is safe..."_

 _"Eye for an eye brat..."_

 _"INOOOO..."_

 **"All in favor of killing that cute girl for well deserved revenge raise an appendage."** The Kyuubi maliciously snickered as Naruto received a mental image of the massive biju raising both of his hands _and_ all nine of his glorious tails.

Naruto couldn't help but weakly deadpan, _"I'd agree with that and raise my hands, but I'm almost dead."_

 **"Oh yes, you almost dying would certainly put a damper on things. Such a shame to see Ino die then you die right after her... if only you'd take more of my chakra, maybe I could heal you up enough to get you back in the game."**

...

...

 _"I hate you so_ _ **much."**_

X.X.X

(Haku vs the Genin Gang)

This stalemate had gone on long enough.

Those genin refused to come out of the bathroom, which tactically made sense but annoyed Haku. Since there was only one way in and one way out, they didn't even need to leave.

She assumed that one of the genin noticed her habit of sticking to her mirrors, which probably gave them even more reason to stay in there. She wasn't likely to waltz directly into the bathroom to fight all of them at once, so it was ideal to stay clustered up.

While a tactically sound idea at the beginning of the fight, if one could even call it that, it wasn't doing anything but causing a stalemate. If anyone of them attempted to leave the bathroom to get her, they'd be walking right into her custom made battlefield, which would not bode well for them. If she tried to go in there, she'd more than likely get mobbed.

At this rate, the deciding factor in this situation would be whoever wins on the outside...

X.X.X.

(With Everyone's Favorite Explosion Lover)

It's official.

That little bitch with Zabuza had to die. He knew something was up, but this? A fucking kekkei genkai out of all things? Just disgusting.

As soon as those damn ice mirrors went up, Jinpachi knew that his assumptions were correct... now all he had to do was find an opening to go in there, kill her, the kids, and the bridge builder, and haul ass.

Which was easier said than done since that bearded one was really hell bent on putting him down. Skillfully dodging a three piece punch combo, Jinpachi leapt backwards in order to create some space between the two. Once he landed, he deflected another attempt to clean his clock with gusto, sending the jonin farther back than expected.

 _"This doesn't seem right..."_

"Doton: Tajū Doryūheki (Earth Release: Multiple Earth-Style Wall)!" Kakashi called out as a multitude of earthen walls with dog heads etched into them arose to surround Jinpachi. The walls grew tall enough to tower over the swordsman, preventing him from taking the simple course of action involving jumping over one of them.

"Trapping me in here, and the only way out is up... oh? What's this?" Jinpachi mused as he spotted Asuma take position on top of one of the walls. Looking down at Jinpachi with nothing but pure malicious intent, Asuma flew through hand seals, "You're a dead man walking!"

"You're not the first to say that!" He chuckled, preparing his blade for an attempt to blast his way out.

"I'd bet... but I'm the last one to say that after today. Katon: Haisekishō (Fire Release: Ash Pile Burning)."

Jinpachi quirked an eyebrow at the lack of fire or any burning going on once Asuma called out his jutsu. All he got was a lot of ash blanketing everything, obscuring his vision and all. Now, years of experience let Jinpachi know that the average jonin was less likely to throw out jutsu without a purpose...

Kakashi's jutsu trapped him in here.

This one... yeah, he was drawing a blank. Whatever it was, it was supposed to kill him if he went by the tone of voice that Asuma used. How, he had now idea.

CLICK!

Usually when a Swordsman of the Mist heard an unidentifiable sound above them, with the exception of Kushimaru, Ameyuri, and Raiga, their first instinct was to shield their body with their sturdy, oversized sword. Thank Kami that instinct was embedded deeply within Jinpachi, because the next few seconds for him were filled with nothing but fire and explosive force.

He was also thanking all that was holy that each of the swords of the swordsmen had special seals within them that gave them secret additional properties...

Samehada was the exception... nobody knew how in the hell they managed to find a sentient sword with a mouth and chakra draining properties, but hey. It was still effective.

Kiba... special seals from the Uzumaki that somehow conducted and attracted lightning yet prevented it from ever harming the user. Hell, next to a Samehada user, a Kiba user could theoretically keep going forever since the blades themselves could use natural lighting with no chakra cost to the user.

Kabutowari had seals that magnified kinetic energy to ridiculous levels.

Nuibari and Kubikiribocho both had seals that actively react to blood, with Kubikiribocho being repaired by it and Nuibari acting as a homing missile once it was thrown.

Shibuki had seals that negated anything that had to do with explosions, such as the concussive force, heat, you name it. One of the most dangerous weapons in existence with no kind of backlash to the user whatsoever.

Cheap as hell? Absolutely. Effective as hell? Absolutely.

Once all of the ruckus died down, Jinpachi ran a quick status report on himself. Satisfied that he was still alive and well, he swung his beloved Shibuki into the earthen wall to escape, making a mad dash towards the house. Leaving a trail of explosives behind him like he usually does, he was surprised to see that a mist began to surround the area.

"Seems that Zabuza finally got rid of the brat. Shame I couldn't do it... oh well, I'll he sure to let out my frustrations on that bitch of his." Jinpachi darkly mused as he approached the house. The most was the thickest where Jinpachi was originally fighting the two Konoha jonin, and less thick near the house, enabling Jinpachi to still see.

"Got the same idea I got, I see." Zabuza grunted as he landed beside Jinpachi. Clearly the Momochi had seen far better days. Bloody clothes, bruised body, bleeding wounds.

"Take the bridge builder's head, murder the brats, and get away while we have the opportunity to?"

"It was that, but without the brat killing."

"Oh? Don't tell me you're going soft on me Zabuza."

"No, killing the brats one by one means they get the chance to scream or make noise, which will bring Kakashi and the other one over. Killing them all at once would probably take something that isn't too quiet, which once again, would bring Kakashi and the other one over."

"Hmm, you make a very valid point..." He trailed off, grimacing at the sudden surge of killing intent that washed over everyone there, "... You didn't kill the brat."

"Stabbed him in the stomach so many times I almost threw my damn shoulder out. How in the hell is he still al-" Zabuza immediately pushed Jinpachi to the side to avoid having a fast travelling red blur crash into his body. His arm took the brunt of the collision, and the damage wasn't pretty at all. That orange chakra was pretty corrosive if the gnarly chakra burns on his clearly broken arm were any good indicators.

Naruto crashed straight through the house, coming to a stop on all fours in one of the halls. Slitted eyes glared at every single reflection in those ice mirrors, before settling on a particular one that hovered on the upper level.

He sensed fear emanating from that mirror.

He sensed anger coming from that mirror.

He sensed irritation from that mirror.

The masked reflection looked at him.

He looked back.

He smiled.

Haku immediately dashed to another mirror to avoid her imminent death, only to be grabbed by her ankles and slammed through multiple walls and debris before being roughly dropped in front of Naruto. The acidic chakra that corroded her once fair skin brought tears to her eyes.

Was this truly the being behind the sleeping boy she encountered earlier this morning?

 _"Such power..."_

" **Hey girl... I never got your name when we first met."** The oppressive boy growled as he glared at his prey. He had her dead to rights.

She didn't respond.

...

" **Fine. Be like that."** With a casual shrug of his shoulders, Naruto reared back before attempting to to eviscerate Haku. He would've followed through, but Zabuza had other plans. Driving the mammoth blade into Naruto's back with all of the strength that he could muster with one arm, he frowned when he realized that his blade wasn't going through the child.

The demon spawn turned around with the most sinister smirk you could find on a child, " **Saw that coming. Manipulation of your skeleton sure does have its benefits, doesn't it Zabuza?"**

Three things happened within the next several seconds.

The tail that originated from Naruto's cloak pierced Zabuza's chest with enough force to push him away while simultaneously sending his blade flying.

Jinpachi flew through the hole that Naruto created earlier with Asuma in tow, attempting to cleave the jinchuuriki in half. Whether he was aiming for the downed Haku or not as well was anyone's guess.

Kakashi came in right after those two with his hand cackling, shrouded in a substantial amount of potent looking lightning chakra.

Jinpachi swung down, explosive tags on the blades preparing themselves to bring down the rest of the house.

Naruto escaped at the very last second though, allowing Haku to take the blade instead. The wet crunch of blood gushing and bones crushing wasn't a sound that gave Naruto pause in his movements. They were going to hear those sounds one way or another.

His eyes widened at the sheer amount of explosives that the sword dispensed. Not everyone else in the barely standing building had elite jonin level reflexes or a nigh unstoppable body after all.

There was no time to waste!

" **Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace)!"** The blond haired jinchuuriki snarled as he summoned hands in order to try to contain the oncoming explosion.

Jinpachi smirked with satisfaction as everybody's attention shifted immediately to the potentially fatal explosion. He had to play this smart. The bridge builder wasn't dead, yet his two assistants were KIA. Zabuza's sword was right there at ground zero. That midget probably wouldn't pay him since he didn't get the job done.

It was either stay and fight his way through two pissed jonin and a one tailed jinchuuriki all for the bridge builder's head.

Or he could cut his losses, grab Zabuza's sword, and get the hell out of there. His pride would take a serious shot if he ran from the brat again, but he did have two more high level opponents to worry about as well.

He didn't run from Kiri just to die over a matter of pride...

Sending a large amount of chakra to his legs in order to give him the necessary speed boost, Jinpachi zipped right through the chaos and flashed the hand seal that allowed the tags to go off, noticing Kakashi and Asuma already on the other side of the hall, clearly trying to make a last ditch effort to protect their client and kids. He angled his blade so that his body wasn't directly facing the massive explosion that ripped through the house as he grabbed Zabuza's sword.

Kami, he really loved his sword's invulnerablility to explosions right about now.

X.X.X.

(With Sasuke, Ten Minutes Later)

Absolute hell is the only thing that could describe what they just went through. The house didn't even exist anymore at this point, Ino was dead, and Sasuke damn near passed out when he felt that horrifying feeling yet again.

It was just like his dream... except worse this time. Once the explosion was over and a majority of the dust settled, everyone weakly regrouped. Thankfully nobody else died, but everybody had their fair share of injuries.

Naruto was clearly the one that needed the most attention, because once that sinister shroud of foul chakra came off of him, he immediately began to cough up an extremely unhealthy amount of blood and almost passed out on the spot.

Tazuna, who somehow remained conscious through all of that, looked around in dismay, gripping his precious brown paper bag in sorrow, "Isn't this just wonderful?! First the bridge, now my own fucking home! Kami, why couldn't I just have been knocked unconscious or something?!" Sasuke suspected that his abnormally potent liquor kept him conscious throughout the battle. The powers of alcohol were not to be underestimated it seems.

Cough. Splat. Cough, "Don't worry, old man. I'll make you a new house as soon as my insides stop melting." Naruto weakly promised from his position on the ground, trying his hardest not to throw up any more of his blood. He needed that for important life functions and stuff.

"I see everyone has managed to survive the explosion... good job." The laid back voice of Kakashi mused from under a pile of rubble, "Don't worry, Tazuna-san. Once we deal with the issue of our recent fallen, we'll be sure to lend you the boy who can clone himself like there's no tomorrow. He's practically built for manual labor."

"And kicking ass-" Cough cough, "Do-Don't forget the kicking ass part." Said future house builder weakly reminded before passing all the way out.

X.X.X

 **I absolutely hate being sick you guys. It's the kind of sick where every time I cough I get a headache and a nasty ass aftertaste.**

 **But yeah, sickness, Ap Calc, and Bloodborne, the best fucking headache inducing game I've ever had the pleasure of playing, are the main reasons of why this took almost a month. The Saw Spear easily shits on the Kirk hammer and Ludwig's Boring sword, by the way.**

 **There, I said it.**

 **But yeah you guys, Ino is dead. Dead. Deady dead dead. So dead that I don't know what to tell you if you wanna believe otherwise.**

 **Sasuke is subconsciously becoming terrified of Naruto more, Zabuza and Haku are dead, Sakura's probably an emotional wreck at this point, Orochimaru is still plotting in the background, and Ichiraku Ramen is having a a special on ramen!**

 **Whew, that was a lot to recap for those who didn't catch on.**

 **Oh yeah, don't expect this to be one of those stories where** _ **everybody**_ **has to die in every fight. There'd be no point in any character development if everyone is just gonna die from being in the wrong place at the wrong time.**

 **But enough with this unnecessarily long Author's Notes section, read and review, vibe and survive, mail me a plate or three of that delicious Thanksgiving dinner, and pray for No Man's Sky to get stealth released earlier than June 2016.**

 **Until next time folks, SPVNK out.**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Narutoooooooooooooooo. But what I do own is some form of potent sickness that prevented me from sleeping for two days straight. Maybe if I run up on Kishimoto with it, he'll give me ownership rights just to keep me at bay...

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 11: Young Thug Speaks His Own English**

 **X.X.X**

(Nasty Looking Bar, Konoha)

"How many shots has he taken by now?" Choza pondered as he and Shikaku watched Inoichi down yet another glass of some strong liquor. He had a healthy amount of shot glasses surrounding his side of the table, with about twenty of them completely empty.

Downing a shot of his own, the Nara clan head cocked a glance at his long time friend, noticing the empty shot glasses, "I'd say around twenty, maybe."

"Try thirty, there's cups on the floor that you didn't see..." Inoichi slurred, furrowing his eyebrows at the lack of alcohol he was consuming, "Oi, bartender! Another bottle over here!"

The shady looking man behind the counter was preparing to bring another bottle over to the table, but two concentrated blasts of killing intent from the clearly less inebriated folks at the table made him reconsider his train of thought. Instead of giving the drunken man another dosing of alcohol poisoning, he decided to clean a nearby glass and whistle innocently to avoid the ire of the other two patrons.

Shikaku cut his eyes back to Inoichi, who wasn't in the highest spirits at the moment due to the lack of more alcoholic beverages being brought to him. Eventually the blond went from frowning like a child to looking in two different directions with each eye, a little bit of drool escaping from the corner of his lips.

"Aww shit, he's so drunk he's cock eyed now! His wife is gonna kill us if we leave him like this. Troublesome." Shikaku groaned as he palmed his forehead, not noticing a nondescript figure leaving the bar.

"I'm not drunk, I'm just extremely on a different level than you guys. I'm still perfectly capable of defending the threats from any village should they present themselves." The cock eyed Yamanaka reassured, raising one finger up in the air confidently. His dangerous swaying wasn't helping his case at all.

"I think he got that backwards..."

"... You sure about that?"

"Posolutely."

"You mean positively."

"I said absolutely."

"Yeah, he's drunk off of his ass. Maybe I got something back at the compound to deal with this..." Choza mused.

"Same. Thinking what I'm thinking?" Shikaku asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Carry him back to one of our compounds and let him crash there until he sobers up?"

"Neither one of y'all are crashing shiiiiiit." Inoichi said, brandishing his signature hand seals for a mind fuck jutsu.

Choza spared an apologetic glance to the bartender before reaching across the table to drive the drunken Yamanaka's head directly through the table they were sitting at, effectively rendering him unconscious, "I'll pay for that." At least half of the table fell victim to the aggressive force known as Inoichi's fast traveling face.

"Don't worry about it man, we got plenty of spares in the back!" The shady looking man waved off, still polishing that already spotless glass. They kept a bunch of spare tables in the back due to the numerous amounts of fights that broke out in the bar on a daily basis.

Placing some money down on the remains of the table, Shikaku pinched the bridge of his nose as he got up and walked over to the sleeping blond in the bar. He hoisted him up and slung him across his shoulder, sparing a glance towards Choza, "So... my compound or yours?" He asked as he made his way towards the door.

After Choza left some money on the remains of the table too, he scratched his chin in a small amount of contemplation as he made his way to the door as well, "Eh, it all depends. How's your wife feeling?" A well warranted question. There was no need to try to spring another one of their infamous drunk dunks from back in the day if the main lady of the household wasn't in the best mood for any tomfoolery.

It wouldn't do anything good for the male denizens of the Nara household. Her wrath was legendary...

She'd probably snitch to Choza's wife to and open up a fresh can of hell for him as well.

Shikaku stopped in his tracks, his expression paling rapidly, "You know... I did not think of that. This just got even more troublesome."

Opening the door so Shikaku could carry Inoichi out without too much hassle, Choza grimaced at his friend's expression. Well it was obvious who's house Inoichi was crashing at for the night, "My house it is then. I'm pretty sure my wife wouldn't mind."

"Your wife is a godsend then." Shikaku chuckled in relief as they made their way towards the Akimichi clan compound. Despite the alcoholic drinks in everyone's system, Shikaku nor Choza didn't miss the the feeling of being watched as they left the bar. Sure they were in a ninja village, so everyone gets that feeling at least three times a day, but they've been experienced shinobi long enough to know when they were purposely watched.

They could worry about it later though, it's not like there were any major threats in the village to them at the moment. Right now their main concern helping their friend get through this rough patch in his life.

Kami knows having a dead child could take a toll on a man, after all.

X.X.X.

(The Next Day, Naruto's Apartment)

"Shithead, I'm gonna ask you again."

"And I'm gonna give you the same answer again."

"Stop being such a dickhead and tell me why you woke up last night all pissed off!"

"Let me think about it... yeah, nope. I'll keep it to myself."

Tayuya had to try her hardest from jumping over to strangle her best friend. Ever since Naruto and Sakura's team got back from their mission, things have been going out of whack.

Sakura damn near became an unresponsive shut in. Next to her own teammates and family, Sakura was clearly the one most devastated by Ino's premature death, and it showed with a passion.

She refused to come outside.

Her mother repeatedly tried to get through to her, but she rarely spoke for more than a minute.

She was already skipping meals in order to preserve what little bit of figure she had as a thirteen years old before the fatal encounter, but now it was a rare occurrence for her to eat anything bigger than an apple.

The only one who could even produce a response out of her was, surprise surprise, Sasuke. Progress was painfully slow though, mainly because Sasuke was the last person that anyone would go to for therapy or any form of comfort and support.

Tayuya cringed at the painful, awkward memory of Sasuke's first attempt to bring Sakura to the light.

Despite the sadness that hung around the rookies, laughter, mainly from Naruto, Kiba, and to a lesser extent Shikamaru, found its way to remind them that it wasn't all gloomy in life.

X.X.X.

(Flashback)

Rubbing a consoling hand on Naruto's back, Tayuya kept a steel facade up as she, the remains of Team Ten, and the male members of Team Seven made their way down the road. The mood was completely somber as the group travelled towards Sakura's home, with no jokes or merry making taking place.

Out of all of the rookies, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Naruto were the ones affected the most by Ino's passing, with Sakura clearly taking it the worst.

Shikamaru did cry a bit on the way back, but quickly sucked it up once he had a conversation with Naruto.

Tayuya glanced to the side to look at her friend's facial expression. Despite the closeness that he and Ino had, every time the topic of conversation was Ino, Naruto went from being probably the most expressive person in their age group to being a completely blank slate.

No emotion was shown whatsoever.

To everyone else, they found it completely strange and slightly unnerving. Naruto was the number one person to be around if you wanted some kind of chaos and excitement in your life.

To Tayuya, it brought up unwanted memories, reminding her of their lives before Jiraiya came and brought them to Konoha. That was exactly how Naruto became every time he just couldn't take every horrible ordeal they went through with a smile.

It was even worse once he found out what happened to Tayuya. He stayed like that for almost a month.

Eventually, the group came across Sakura's house, stopping to look at each other. The unspoken question of who was going to knock was surprisingly answered by Sasuke as he walked up to the door, eliciting a myriad of surprised gasps from everyone present.

Just before he brought his hand up to knock on the door, Kiba's loud, yet somewhat calmer voice captured everyone's attention, "Yo, guys! What's going on?" The Inuzuka asked as he and Akamaru approached the original party.

Naruto answered him, his eerily blank facade unnerving Kiba, "We're checking up on Sakura. She's been holed up too long so we're dragging her out today whether she wants us to or not." Despite the odd wording of how he said it, it was still pretty much the truth.

Kiba cringed, instantly picking up on the depressing mood that hung around everyone there easily now, "Sheesh... it's still crazy, you know? Who would've guessed that one of us could die so young?" It was a nasty reminder of the life that they were born into.

A life that Naruto knew just how messed up it could get, "None of us are gauranteed to live healthy lives, in case any of you haven't noticed. This ain't a walk in the park full of sunshine, this is real life." He suddenly spoke up in an irritated fashion. Everyone there, with the exception of Shikamaru, looked absolutely flabbergasted by the blunt, yet true statement.

"Dude, how could you say something like that?! Somebody just died!" Kiba exclaimed, walking up to Naruto to grab a handful of his shirt. Even though Ino wasn't exactly close to Kiba, she was still a Konoha kunoichi. A fellow ninja from the same village might as well have been a family member to Kiba.

Naruto didn't move to stop Kiba from jacking him up, instead choosing to simply stare at him, "It wasn't meant to disrespect her death. It was meant to get you all to face reality. What happened to Ino could happen to any of us at any time. Sheesh, our academy sucks if all of you are really getting bent out of shape over what I'm saying."

"What do you mean, Naruto?" Choji asked as he watched Kiba relinquish his hold on Naruto, his trademark bag of chips surprisingly not present at the moment.

Shaking his head, Naruto moved to take Sasuke's position as the door knocker while answering Choji's question, "You'd think a system where children get taught how to kill other people would teach them how to accept death on our side as well, but noooooo." He gruffly answered as he banged on the door a couple of times, ignoring the glances and shocked gazes that bored into the back of his head.

Sasuke and Shikamaru shared a glance at each other, having a silent conversation amongst themselves by mouthing out the words silently.

 _"Did Orochimaru mess the dobe up this bad? I've never seen him like this."_

 _"No idea... I guess there's more than what we've seen from him. Troublesome."_

Eventually somebody came to the door to answer the banging, which got Naruto to cease and desist. Cracking the door open slightly, Sakura poked her head out of the door meekly, taking note of everyone outside of her house, "What do you guys want?"

Tayuya stepped forward, "We came to get you to come out. You've been a shut in for far too long, Sakura." She said with a tone of concern in her voice. This really wasn't healthy for Sakura.

Said shut in simply looked down dejectedly in response, not really wanting to come out at the moment, "No... I'd rather not. I'll just stay inside today guys, I'll see you later." With that being said, Sakura attempted to close the door on everyone. Coming outside was not on her to do list for the day.

A foot finding it's way into the path of the closing door gave Sakura pause. Wondering why they didn't want to get the message that she wanted to be left alone, she opened the door all the way to try and hammer her point home. Surprise was evident on her face when she noticed that the bold foot belonged to everyone's favorite asshole, Sasuke, "Sasuke, what are you doing?"

Everyone there, surprisingly Sasuke too, mentally winced at the lack of the usual "kun" suffix that regularly followed Sakura's vocalizations of his name.

They knew that Ino's death was taking its toll on her, but damn. Never in a million years would any of them had expected to not hear Sakura refer to Sasuke-kun.

Hiding his shock, Sasuke continued forward with their original intention, "I'm trying to get you out of your house, duh. Now come on, you've done enough moping." He ordered, expecting her to just go along with it.

"No. Now go away." Was the expectation shattering refusal which was followed by a shutting door.

Kiba blinked owlishly at the now closed door for several seconds, weakly pointing a finger, "Did that really just happen? Did she really say no to Sasuke? The hell?" Akamaru yipped in agreement, and with good reasoning. Sakura was probably the one person they could count on to be at the beck and call of Sasuke the minute he decided that he wanted a personal slave or something along those lines. Her dedication to a unrequited crush was that crazy.

This completely unexpected switch up caught everyone off guard.

Naruto actually gained a small amount of emotion as he snickered to himself. He had a foolish plan in his head that he didn't expect to work, but it was worth a shot. Sliding up to Sasuke's side with squinted eyes, he mischievously nudged the Uchiha in the side, "Real smooth Sasuke. Smoothest man of the century right here."

Sasuke frowned, "Shut it, dobe. Instead of making fun of me, you could be thinking of a way to get Sakura out of the house."

Sasuke's statement got everyone there to take a second and seriously ponder on how to accomplish such a task.

Eventually Naruto raised his hand in the air as though he were in a classroom waiting to be acknowledged. Shikamaru took up the mantle as the proverbial teacher that acknowledged the proverbial student, "You got something Naruto?"

"Less of a suggestion at the moment, more of a question."

"Go ahead. Shoot."

"We're trying to get her to come out only by her free will, right?"

Facepalming so hard that he almost gave himself a concussion, Shikamaru dragged the now stinging hand down his face, "... Please don't tell me you weren't going to suggest that we go in there and kidnap her."

"I will not tell you then."

Sweet Kami.

"God damn it Naruto."

"Does anybody have any _less_ radical ideas?"

"I say we get Sasuke to take her out on a date or something." A date with Sasuke?

Everyone there turned to face Kiba almost robotically. Actually backing up due to the sudden attention, Kiba threw up his hands in a placating manner, "Hey, don't kill me for a suggestion."

Naruto glared at Kiba heatedly for several seconds, eventually relenting in his glaring in order to pinch the bridge of his nose, "Damn it! Why didn't I think of that? It's absolutely genius!" He then cut his eyes towards Sasuke expectantly...

"W-Why me?" Sasuke stammered, thrown off enough by the lack of adoration that he usually received from his supposed number one fan and the ludicrous idea that Kiba proposed. Dating? The hell?

Sasuke Uchiha was a man of action, an avenger. There was no time for dating and whatnot.

Tayuya shrugged, "C'mon, mister 'genius'. You're probably the only person she'd really listen to."

"We just tried to get her to listen to me and she slammed the door in my face." Sasuke didn't know why, but it really irked him. Maybe it was due to him not really being told no all of his life, so he wasn't used to getting rejected.

He was irked.

And... intrigued?

 _"She said no to me... she said no, and shedded her fangirl tendencies..."_

He didn't know why, but something about the idea of trying to get Sakura out of her funk sounded like something he could get into now. Nobody refused an Uchiha, it just wasn't going to sit right with him.

"My unspoken suggestion that Shikamaru didn't want me to tell him about is still an option."

"Shut it, dobe. I got this." Sasuke stated as he knocked on the door again.

Sakura came back to the door with a slight scowl on her face, "I thought I told you guys to get lost."

Raising an intrigued eyebrow, Sasuke quickly went through his mind in order to determine the best way to get her to come outside without employing the Uzumaki method. Maybe he could woo her with his Uchiha charms. It had to work, all of the girls at the academy fell head over heels for it when he didn't even want to be bothered by them.

He flashed what he perceived to be his most dashing grin, "Sakura, I want you to come outside and talk with me for a minute or two." Had her hook, line, and sinker.

Kiba looked like a fish out of water. It was that easy?

 _"Note to self: ask Sasuke for tips on how to improve my game in the future."_

Sakura looked the object of her admiration up and down for a second or two. On one hand, this was an opportunity that most girls in the academy would sell their souls and their families for.

But on the other hand, Sakura was getting an idea. Before all of this terrible shit happened and she lost her best friend, she was the one chasing, the one trying to get the other's attention. Now the shoe was on the other foot, and apparently Sasuke was actually doing it by his own free will, not with a kunai held to the base of his back.

She _really_ didn't want to go out at the moment, but there was something that she wanted to find out.

Plus she wanted him to stop with that uncomfortable smile he was doing. She guessed that to him, it was probably the sexiest thing on earth. Sasuke was probably the pinnacle of human perfection, but that smile made him look like he shitted himself or something.

Hmm... for now, she could test this sudden interest he had in her.

"Nope, I'm not coming out."

She slammed the door in his face yet again.

Naruto, who was leaning to the side of the attempted wooing so he could have a complete view of all the action, pointed up towards the second story where a window sat there.

"No damn it, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I've heard that question my whole life and I still can't answer it. Real smooth technique, by the way."

Shikamaru tapped Sasuke on the shoulder, "Maybe a different approach is in order..."

Another set of knocking took place.

The door opened again, "Go away, Sasuke. You're annoying me." What in the actual hell? Sasuke annoying her?

The shoe was on the wrong foot and he didn't like this at all.

Shaking his head clear, Sasuke quickly recovered and produced another attempt to get her to leave, "We have a team meeting today, right Choji?"

"Re rav a deam meeeing?" Choji asked as he stuffed a honey bun into his mouth.

"Bye Sasuke." The sound of the door slamming yet again preceded Sasuke turning around to glare at Choji, "Damn it, Choji!"

The honey bun enthusiast's hands went up in a disarming manner as he swallowed the remains of his quick snack, "I wasn't expecting to be put on the spot like that, I'm sorry!" Guess they'd have to work on improvised teamwork in the future.

Meanwhile Naruto and Kiba were quietly conversing amongst one another, before Kiba addressed Sasuke, "Dude, you're going about this the wrong way. Come over here, we got some material that you can use."

"I don't think I need 'material' from dog breath and the poster boy for mental instability." Says the potentially mentally unstable one.

Tayuya pushed him towards their direction, "But the 'tried and true' method of demanding her to come outside because you're the almighty Uchiha isn't doing you any favors, so give it a go."

Glaring at the red head, he eventually shrugged and gave the two idiots a shot. He leaned in so they could tell him what to say, and recoiled away once he registered what they wanted him to throw at Sakura, "The hell is wrong with you two?"

"Hey, we can always just slide in there."

"You don't have as much skill with the ladies as I originally thought you had, so I'm willing to give Naruto a shot."

"... I'll just try this out. If I look stupid while I do this, I'm roasting you both alive with a decently sized fireball."

"Didn't need our help to look stupid, right Akamaru?"

"Exactly. That smile gave off an, 'I eat babies' vibe. Really gotta work on not being creepy, Sasuke."

"I hate all of you." He growled as he knocked yet again.

"Remember to say it with some gusto, girls love gusto Sasuke."

"Tch, whatever." Sasuke dismissed the Inuzuka as the door opened again, this time completely.

In the doorway stood a really skinny Sakura. Clearly she hasn't been eating at all, and it bothered everyone there.

"Good thing we didn't go with my method, we probably would have broken her in half on accident." Naruto idly mused as he took her appearance in. Tayuya slapped him across the head quickly in order to prevent him from saying anything else.

Sasuke stuffed his hands back into his pockets, walked towards Sakura, and looked her up and down, "You haven't been eating." There was an unspoken question in that statement, one that wasn't lost on Sakura at all.

"Haven't been in the mood lately."

"Understatement of the century." Naruto dryly commented from the back, eliciting glares from everyone except Sakura, "What? Its true."

Ignoring the dobe, Sasuke sighed before turning back to Sakura, "Sakura... do you want to go on a date with me?"

Shock was evident on the pinkette's face as she processed what just came out of his mouth, "A date?"

"A date." The Uchiha confirmed, hoping she'd go for it.

"What kind of date?"

An elbow from Kiba made Sasuke remember his lines and how to go about this situation, "A food date, my treat." Judging from her body, she really needed a good meal in her, "So how does that sound? Me, you, some good food... and a bottle of lotion?"

Hearing the strain in his voice from that last statement, Sakura tilted her head, "A bottle of lotion?"

"Yeah, once the food is gone I could... get in those guts?" Sasuke actually had the decency to look slightly flustered, which was really a light hearted scowl for him, as Kiba and Naruto collectively fell down to burst out in uproarious laughter.

Even Shikamaru and Tayuya couldn't help but snicker at the awkward date proposal.

"Um, I'll go on one condition."

All laughter stopped since everyone recognized the potentially positive outcome that could come from these key moments.

Naruto looked at Sakura and asked the million dollar question that everyone was thinking, "What's the condition?"

She pointed at everyone there that wasn't Sasuke, "All of you have to stay away from our date. And for the love of Kami, _never_ get Sasuke to say something that uncomfortable to me again." It was obvious to Sakura that Sasuke was completely out of his element when attempting to actually go after a girl, and it was hilariously adorable to her.

Sasuke Uchiha, bona fide badass genin of the Rookie Nine, genius prodigy, is absolutely abysmal when it comes to pursuing a member of the fairer sex. You'd think he'd be a prodigy at that too, until you hear him talk.

"Deal! Now if you'll excuse me and these dickheads, we'll leave you two alone." Tayuya happily exclaimed as she picked Kiba and Naruto up off of the ground before leaving, Shikamaru and Choji following behind them.

As they travelled further down the road, Shikamaru scratched the back of his head before glaring at the two idiots with them, "Which one of you came up with those awful lines?" He asked causing Naruto to burst out in laughter again.

Kiba stuck a thumb in his chest, a triumphant grin letting everyone know just how proud he was of getting Sasuke to embarrass himself, "I take full credit for everything that transpired."

"...What does 'get in those guts' even mean?"

"No idea, I just heard some of the older guys in my clan talking about their dates with girls. I heard that one time and everyone seemed excited when they heard it too, so I guess that's part of the dating scene." Kiba informed with a shrug of the shoulders.

"Troublesome."

Sasuke and Sakura watched the group walk away before facing each other. Taking it upon himself to break the ice, he shoved his hands back into his pockets before turning away, trying to save face from his earlier embarrassment, "I'll be out here waiting. Hurry up and get dressed."

"I don't think she needs to get dressed if lotion and guts are involved!" Naruto yelled, somehow still able to hear their conversation.

"Shut up!"

X.X.X.

(End Flashback)

Tayuya shook her head at that memory, before glaring at Naruto more. Out of anyone that he knew, she was the one that he could always talk to anything about.

So for him to just refuse to talk to her about whatever caused him to wake up angry and put holes in his walls was really upsetting.

Naruto however wasn't backing down from the heated stare that he was receiving, choosing to keep his eyes squinted and frown pronounced. He knew that it was probably frustrating her to no end, but he had to deal with this on his own. This was an internal issue.

How would she be able to help if he himself didn't know how the relationship between a jinchuuriki and his biju was supposed to go?

He knew one thing, though. He needed to get stronger. He needed to improve. Using the Kyuubi's chakra every time he came across a ninja he couldn't handle with his base skills wasn't something he wanted to do.

Even with all of the short term benefits that the powerful chakra provided, the long term detrimental effects were slowly becoming more and more noticeable to the blond.

That battle with Zabuza brought him to the brink of death, just like his first encounter with Jinpachi. So every time the Kyuubi got a free pass to hand out chakra, Naruto was mortally wounded. He frowned in deep thought.

 **"Its not that easy brat, you need me. As your previous battles went, you're clearly not as big and bad as you thought you were."**

" _Shut the fuck up!"_ Naruto internally snarled, frowning even more once he realized that the leftover chakra was influencing him. Part of the downfalls of the chakra was that his temper was on a shorter fuse than usual.

 **"Try and deny it all you want, but at this rate you'll never kill that snake. Hell, I don't think you can even kill the explosive human either..."**

 _"I can!"_

 **"Yeah... no. Without me, you're still weak. Just because none of your little peers can contest with you at the moment, that doesn't mean that you're unstoppable. The swordsmen had to teach you that lesson the hard way."**

He didn't want to hear any of that, his pride wouldn't let him.

So without all of the Kyuubi's annoying belittling, one thing was certain for Naruto.

He needed to get stronger with his own power, his own techniques, not with the Kyuubi. A fool he was not, as he knew the benefits of being a jinchuuriki were something that he begrudgingly admitted he needed. But at the same time, he couldn't become the badass he was destined to be if he just relied on the Kyuubi to win all of his major battles.

Hmm, who could he fight in the village?

All of the genin were out, since none of them were on equal footing with him right now.

Maybe Asuma-sensei could give him a good work out. He was his teacher, after all. That settles it, he was going to fight his teacher as many times as necessary until he saw some improvement.

All he had to do was find the man in the first place, that shouldn't be too hard.

Should it?

"Shithead, if you space out on me again like that I'll trap you in a genjutsu for a couple of hours again. Now tell me what the fuck was wrong with you or I'll do it regardless."

Well, the road to greatness was always a bumpy road full of hardships and strife.

X.X.X.

(Later that Day, Hokage Tower)

"Yeah dad, you wanted to see me?" Asuma asked as he stood alongside Anko. The two shinobi waited patiently to be addressed by the older Sarutobi, who was perusing over some rather important looking documents.

With a heavy sigh and a drag of his pipe, Hiruzen set the paperwork down, allowing it to be visible for everyone else, "Anko, Asuma, I've been going over some paperwork lately and I need you two here because it involves you. Well, it involves anyone with genin under their employ, but due to recent unfortunate circumstances, I decided to address the both of you before everyone else receives the news."

Anko looked at Asuma quickly before putting the pieces together.

Whatever this was involved genin.

Asuma was down a genin.

She had a genin under her wing.

Asuma however, beat her to the punch in vocalizing their assumptions, "I'm assuming that the Chunin Exams are coming up." A nod from Hiruzen confirmed his statement, "And you're gonna put Tayuya on my team so that they can compete, right?"

"If Anko-chan here agrees to it." He informed, wanting to give Anko a day in the matter of things. Snatching Tayuya away from her wasn't something he would do unnecessarily.

All eyes turned to Anko, who appeared to be in deep thought over the recent developments. It made perfect sense to her to let her go.

From what she knew, Naruto was taking Ino's death pretty hard, and having Tayuya as a teammate would probably help to alleviate some of the pain he was going through. Plus they already had experience working together when they were with Orochimaru, so they were probably a shoe in for promotions if placed together on the team.

Then again, there was one more person who needed to voice their opinions over the subject.

"I'd say go for it, but you do need to ask Tayuya if she wants this since this is a major decision for her."

Asuma and Hiruzen nodded at that before Hiruzen stood up from his chair, crossing his arms behind his back in a sage like manner, "Very well. If any of you happen to come across her, inform her of the decision. Send her to me once she decides whether she wants to or not."

Once his two charges nodded in affirmation and left, he sat back down into his chair, lit his pipe, and glanced down at another stack of papers. The Chunin Exams were coming up soon, and there's been talk about trying to find a neutral site for hosting.

Originally Konoha had the honor of hosting this year, but the Tsuchikage wanted to opt for a host without a clear advantage. It was common knowledge by this point in history that whenever the Exams took place, the village hosting the important event created the tests with a clear advantage for their own shinobi. The terrain was terrain that the home team was familiar with, and that's just one of the major biases.

Usually everyone just took any attempts made by Iwa to undermine or get one over on Konoha with a grain of salt, but surprisingly the Raikage, Kazekage, and several of the minor villages participating all wanted the same thing. With everyone striving for a neutral site, official correspondences went back and forth between the villages discussing potential sites.

At first, many opted for Tetsu no Kuni due to the complete neutral nature of the samurai dominated land, but some disagreed due to not wanting to get a non shinobi related land involved in shinobi affairs. It was an option that needed more mulling over.

Yugakure was an option at first due to it not really having any involvement with any of the other villages, both minor and major, but some believed that there could be foul play before the Exams.

What was stopping someone from sending one of their own to the village ahead of time to bribe the hosts? Underhanded tactics were a daily occurrence in the shinobi lifestyle, after all.

Surprisingly, a proposal came from Yukigakure, a ninja village from Yuki no Kuni. Apparently the leader of the land, Doto Kazahana, reached out to the Big Five, offering the village of Yukigakure for testing.

He even proposed several different types of tests for each section, with a certain test for the second portion sounding vastly intriguing.

All he asked for was that each participating village send their best fuuinjutsu users ahead of time in order to prepare certain aspects.

If only all of the villages would come together to unanimously decide on a village...

X.X.X.

(Gato's Mansion, Nami no Kuni)

Gato sat his desk with understandable fear evident in his body posture. Due to the bridge builder getting to build the bridge, there was anger present as well, but his survival instincts were screaming at him to ignore his damaged pride and hope that the threat in front of him wasn't in a murderous mood.

"You sure you don't want me to go after the bridge builder?" Jinpachi casually asked as he propped a foot up onto Gato's desk, not an ounce of respect being shown.

In addition to the fear that he was feeling, an unbridled amount of annoyance was there as well. Why wouldn't this fucker just leave? There wasn't anymore that he needed his services for.

The job that he was hired for originally went to shit. Surprisingly he didn't just muscle his way into getting paid, instead just deciding to follow Gato around everywhere he went. _Everywhere._

Down the street for something to eat? Jinpachi was there.

A stroll through the village to remind everyone that he was still in charge? Jinpachi was there.

In the restroom to take a shit? Jinpachi was there too. He even brought magazines to occupy his time while waiting.

It infuriated and terrified Gato simply because he couldn't do anything about it. Last time he foolishly ordered some of his boys to get Jinpachi out of his hair, he gained a new set of decorations in the form of three of his henchmen gutted, decapitated, and somehow sewn to his office wall.

The bodies were still there too, because anyone who tried to remove them ended up eating an explosive tag, courtesy of Chef Jinpachi.

It didn't make sense. He was so adamant about harassing Gato, but there was no transparent reason for it.

Why?

"Jinpachi, can I ask you something?"

Tilting his head to the side in curiosity, Jinpachi shrugged his shoulders, "Shoot, boss man."

"Why are you so adamant on bothering me?"

"I just want a job, that's all."

"Feh, and what makes you so worthy to be on the payroll? The 'I'm an elite ninja' status got you in the door the first time, and you went and failed that. Hell, my civilian minions get their jobs done better than you."

"So all of them are more valuable than me?" The swordsman asked with an edge to his voice. Clearly that pushed a wrong button.

Swallowing down a heavy gulp of trepidation and refusing to back down, Gato nodded.

Jinpachi frowned before he began to stroke his beard in deep thought. After several nerve wracking seconds, well nerve wracking seconds for Gato, Jinpachi jumped out of his seat, scaring the hell out of the diminutive businessman, "I'll be back before the end of the night."

With that, Jinpachi made his way towards the door. He stopped before fully leaving, yet he didn't turn around to face Gato, "Oh, and by the way. If you leave this room at any time before I get back, I'll sew your mouth and nostrils shut with a ryo, this oversized needle of mine, and some rubbing alcohol. Don't take my threat lightly." Flaring enough killing intent to get his point across, Jinpachi promptly left the room.

X.X.X.

(Bordering Forests Beside Konoha)

Two different sets of feet landed on a branch.

"Do you think he's gonna show anytime soon?" Jirobo mused as he eyed the afternoon sun, noticing the clouds looming in the distance. Rain was coming, which was needed in his opinion.

Crouching down onto the branch, Sakon ran a hand through his silver hair, "He should. If he doesn't then that just goes to show that Konoha trash aren't worth a damn." He looked down towards the ground, noticing a regular Konoha patrol sweeping the forest floor.

And just as the two Oto shinobi were there, they disappeared, leaving behind no trace of their presence.

Well, the sounds of pain and agony from the patrol squad could have been evidence that something was going down in the Leaf soon enough, but luckily nobody was around other than them.

Once the two disposed of the evidence through the subtle usage of doton techniques, the teens situated themselves on another tree branch.

"I swear, Konoha only has like five people worth a damn. Everyone else is so... expendable." Sakon sighed as he wiped some excess blood off of his pale visage.

"Did you guys really have to kill them?" An unfamiliar voice asked cockily, causing Sakon and Jirobo to hop into battle ready stances. Both of them turned to face a white haired man in the standard chunin outfit for Konoha approaching them, the metal on his bandana reflecting light from the sun.

Still wary about the potential combatant, Jirobo held his stance as he questioned the newcomer, "Are you our contact?"

"That's right, Mizuki at your service." He said with a dramatic bow. Coming back up from his bow, he flashed a grin at the two, "You're here for the brat with the flute, right? She's in the village."

They nodded before turning to look at the massive walls, with Sakon spitting to the side in disgust, "So... how are we going about this? Are you gonna lure her out here for us, or are we gonna go in there ourselves?" Either way was fine with him, as long as he got to maim another piece of leaf trash.

Mizuki cupped his chin, appearing to be in deep thought, "As of now, you'll probably get your best shot if you wait for her to come outside of the village. I heard through the grapevine that there's been talks of her getting put onto an official team, so more than likely they'll give her team a mission to get her used to it..."

Jirobo nodded, finding some logic in that plan of action.

However...

"Do you know when this is going to happen, though?"

Mizuki actually paused once he processed the question before nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders, "No idea. Do you two have a certain time limit that you have to adhere to?" If so, he could easily find a way to speed up the process. Either way, they needed to grab her once she was out of the village.

Running into one of the major shinobi villages guns blazing wasn't really a smart idea to have, especially Konoha. The amount of heavy hitters that they have on standby ensured that straightforward charges would lead to their capture or death.

"What was your name again?" Sakon asked, still eyeing Mizuki with a well warranted amount of suspicion. He missed the first introduction due to him not really caring for the man's theatrics.

"Mizuki, remember it kid. I'll be coming back with you after this is all over, so you might as well get used to me." He informed, noticing the rolling clouds approach the village with unusual speed. Must be a storm coming or something.

Sakon glared at the trash before him. Contact or not, he still displayed and represented Konoha, and it rubbed him the wrong way. He idly wondered if this guy had any bite to him.

Maybe he could goad him into a fight after this mission to see what he's made of.

Mizuki noticed the clear hostility being thrown his way, but he frankly didn't care at all. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he turned to face the village again, "Here's how this is gonna work. You two just circle around the village perimeter, and meet back here with me around this time every day until the girl comes out of the village. It goes without saying, but avoid the patrols if you can, and try not to kill them every time you come across them."

Jirobo nodded, but Sakon crossed his arms in a clear show of contempt, "Why should we? Are you upset that your fellow comrades can't stand before the might of two of Otogakure's finest?" The silver haired teen spat, visibly miffed at taking orders from some weakling.

Mizuki chuckled, "Oh no, it's for a different reason. If too many patrols keep going missing, they might investigate the woods around here with twice as much scrutiny. You don't want to blow your cover, do you?" The air of superiority and condescending tone that he gave off was really pissing Sakon off.

With his piece spoken, he hopped off of the branch, leaving the two younger shinobi there. Jirobo looked towards his partner, who was glaring daggers at the departing Konoha chunin.

"I don't like him. At all."

"You don't like anyone Konoha affiliated." Jirobo smoothly shot back.

X.X.X.

(Yamanaka Clan Compound)

He stared at the picture of his little girl, fighting back yet another round of tears.

It was still hard to grasp that his little girl was gone. Caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, they say.

Being caught in the middle of two people with a vendetta against each other wasn't a favorable position to be in apparently, who knew?

Taking a swig of another bottle of some potent liquor, he frowned as he thought of the Uzumaki boy. Ever since he came to the village, there's been talks of trouble brewing simply because of who the child was. On paper he had all of the attributes of being somebody to watch as he grew.

Being an Uzumaki, a remanant of a powerful clan? Check.

Being a jinchuuriki? Check.

Being raised by a S rank traitor whose name alone struck fear into the hearts of many? Double check.

The list could go on and on, but that wasn't important right now. What was important was the fact that his precious baby was gone.

He spent hours upon hours pondering how things would've went differently if the circumstances were different. What if he was on the mission with her?

What if she didn't go on the mission at all?

What if she was never placed on the Uzumaki's team to begin with?

...What if he never came to Konoha?

Sure death was the only guarantee that shinobi had in their perilous lifetimes. Sure, the good die young and the bad live long enough to spread their evil. But damn it, he wasn't expecting reality to rear it's ugly, unforgiving head at this point in life.

His child didn't even get to turn thirteen before she died. She didn't even get a dignified death! Why get killed with an intact body when you can just get bisected and blown to smithereens?

They couldn't even give her a funeral.

It tore him up inside, and it wasn't good for him or his work. Well, namely the people he worked on, because they got to be subjected to all of the most horrific torture methods possible once they were sent to him. Before the tragedy, he left all of the sadistic methods to Anko and Ibiki, who were more than happy to allow their subjects to experience the joys of psychological torture and poisonous snakes sliding up into places they shouldn't slide.

But now, Inoichi joined in the sadistic fun, and boy was it unpleasant.

Ibiki thought he held the record for making a grown man cry without even touching him, but Inoichi took that record and stomped it into the ground.

He tried to be cruel in order to relieve some of his stress and sadness, but it wasn't enough. Even his wife tried to help with the stress through methods that any man would appreciate.

But it wasn't enough.

The bottle kissed his lips again, allowing him to drown out his sorrows with a chest burning elixir. Sighing, he wiped some of the excess liquor from his mouth. Seems that the only time that he wasn't a bundle of depression was when he was getting drunk.

It wasn't healthy at all, but he needed something to cope for now.

Another sigh escaped his lips. Sometimes he wished that things had a chance to be redone. If he had a say, Ino would've never went on that mission. She would've been here with him, not dead with her remains scattered in some bride builder's yard in Nami no Kuni. She wouldn't have died over some grievance between the jinchuuriki and some rogue swordsman.

The jinchuuriki... this was all his fault!

If it wasn't for him, maybe the swordsman wouldn't have been inclined to kill her like that.

The blame game wasn't a healthy game to play for a shinobi, but it sure did help.

Who was he kidding, blaming that boy for his daughter's passing wasn't fair to him. Honestly, it was a weak cop out if anything.

But the need of a scapegoat for his negative feelings outweighed his rational thought patterns.

Maybe the alcohol had a hand in that too, but that was neither here nor there.

"Yamanaka-san, I would like an audience with you." A weathered voice called out from behind him.

That voice... it was familiar.

It carried authority and seniority, as well as an edge that could only be there as the result of seeing one too many horrors of the ninja world.

"Danzo-sama, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Simple. It has come to my attention that the Kyuubi jinchuuriki's exploits have caused a rather unfortunate casualty to occur."

So he wasn't the only one that thought Naruto was a problem.

"...You have my interest."

X.X.X.

(With Naruto, Somewhere in Konoha)

"WHERE IS ASUMA-SENSEI?!" Naruto yelled out in frustration as he wondered around aimlessly in some training ground. The fact that he'd have a better chance of finding Asuma if he was towards the more residential side of the village was being selectively ignored so that he could be justified in his frustration. All he wanted was a good fight, a chance to kick someone's head in, and a good training session.

Was that too much to ask for? Apparently so since fate decided to not have Asuma be positioned anywhere near here.

Stupid fate.

As he continued to wonder around and lash out at any tree he passed by, Naruto growled lowly to himself. He was really beginning to debate on whether he should just keep looking, or should he just go to the Forest of Death and go as hard as possible on an army of clones.

Maybe he could hold off on the fighting and go practice some Uzumaki stuff. Sealing and those chakra chains really sounded appealing at the moment.

Or he could work on some mid to long range techniques. The possiblities were mind boggling.

Too bad that fate had other plans for him today.

"Hey you, get out of the way! I was gonna use that tree right there for practice!" A girl's voice shouted from his side, interrupting his angry search. He turned to see a girl standing about five meters away from him, a hand on her hip and the other hand brandishing several sharp kunai.

She had a sleeveless pink Chinese styled shirt, dark green pants, and brown hair that was put into two buns. All in all, she was rather cute.

Naruto thumbed towards the tree behind him, "What if I wanted this tree for target practice?" He asked dryly, suddenly developing a hankering for some good old fashioned pestering. He hasn't the chance to bother anybody recently, so why not harass this girl?

She wasn't having any of it though, "No. It's my tree." She stated with finality, subtly gearing up to scare this kid away. He was cute and pulled off all black nicely, but he was getting on her nerves. Maybe an outline of his body with some kunai would scare him...

Naruto noticed her body posture shift, going from one that displayed a bit of exasperation and annoyance to one of preparation. Was she getting ready to fight him?

Huh, she didn't know just how much of a mistake she made.

He flashed an eager grin, "You wanna fight or something?" He _really wanted_ to fight.

Feeling that she was being challenged, the girl knew that she couldn't back down at this point. So she did what any other trained child soldier would do in the face of an oncoming battle...

She popped it off immediately by tossing several kunai directly at him.

Eyes widening at the sudden ranged attack, Naruto hopped directly up and backwards, sticking to the tree that she originally wanted for target practice. With practiced explosiveness, Naruto shot directly towards the girl, alarming her due to his speed.

 _"Fast! I gotta get back!"_ She frantically thought as she leapt back, her heart racing once she realized that he was right in front of her. She hadn't seen anyone her age close the distance that quickly other than her teammates.

She didn't even count her sensei. That man was a completely different freak of nature in his own regards.

His arm cocking back for a punch, Naruto grinned at the prospect of laying her out. She started it with him, and he was completely glad to solve this problem with a bit of finesse.

There wasn't much finesse in knocking someone out with a straight up punch, but he had his own brand of finesse.

Time seemed to slow down as the punch advanced towards the girl.

Their gazes met, Naruto's slightly sadistic smile not helping in calming the girl's shocked expression relax.

It was almost right there, threatening her jaw...

It stopped abruptly, hovering in front of her face. The sudden halt of the attack gave her even more shock than before.

 _"Huh?"_ Was the intelligent, yet well warranted thought that went through her mind as she stared the still smiling boy.

"I never got your name. I'm Naruto by the way, future traitor hunter." He stated calmly as if he wasn't about to put a knuckle in her temple. Dropping his fist yet keeping his body primed to fight, he backed away a bit in order to give her some breathing room.

What in the hell just happened? Was he taking her lightly or something? He had her dead to rights, and just gave up that quick? All just to learn her name?

Who does shit like that?

Oh who was she kidding, her spandex loving teammate would probably pull something like that in the middle of a fight.

Still though...

"My name is Tenten..." She stated cautiously, still completely thrown off by the sudden change of the atmosphere. Before it was a slight amount of tension brewing between the two over the tree.

Then it went to full blown aggression since she tried to use him for target practice instead. In all honesty, she was just going to throw the knives around the kid instead of directly at him, but he picked up on the hostile intent that she subconsciously leaked due to her annoyance.

Now it's like they're just now bumping into each other at the grocery store or something, trying to exchange names in an awkward atmosphere.

She still wanted to fight though, even though she knew that this Naruto boy was a threat. So with that in mind, she subtly reached for another weapon to chuck at him...

Too bad that another Naruto was directly behind her, grabbing the arm that was going for a weapon and putting her in a painful arm lock.

"Shit!" She cried out in pain as the Naruto who was originally in front of her turned into a cloud of smoke.

"Was that... a clone?" She asked in disbelief. It had to be a solid clone to boot, since she could feel the presence of the clone when he was right there. She even felt his breath!

"Man, I am awesome. Thank you, Uzumaki style jutsus!" Naruto proudly exclaimed as he kicked Tenten in the back of her knee, sending her to the ground on her knees. With one arm still held in his unrelenting grip, he cockily smiled down at the bun haired girl.

Tenten gritted her teeth. How did all of that even happen?! When did he have time to create a clone? She didn't see him call out any jutsu, no hand seals, no nothing! She didn't turn to face him in fear of dislocating her shoulder, but she did address him, "Where did the clone come from?" She questioned through the pain. There was a silver lining in this precarious situation she found herself in.

He forgot her other arm...

Naruto looked down at the girl before shrugging, inadvertently applying just a bit more pressure onto her arm, "Right when I jumped up onto the tree, I created him above me on that branch. He kept low and stayed in stealth mode to sneak up on you. You weren't close enough to hear me whisper the name of the jutsu either." That was something that plagued Naruto's thoughts day in and day out.

Why did ninjas yell their techniques out every time they used them? In the middle of a battle where both combatants were in direct sight of each other, he could understand that unspoken tradition. But when one was hiding from the other, why shout to give away your position when you held the clear advantage?

It didn't make any sense.

Tenten internally kicked herself for not paying attention to her surroundings completely. As a long range, marksman styled fighter, she was supposed to have the best eyes on the field. This little slip up was completely embarrassing.

It was okay though. She had her way out of this.

With her other hand hidden from his view, she grabbed a handful of dirt and flung it backwards, hitting him directly in the eyes. Her gamble was successful since he let her go to clean out his eyes, and she capitalized immediately by mule kicking him in the stomach before rolling away. Once she got up off of the ground, she put twice as much distance between them as before, idly noticing that one of her buns came undone during her impromptu roll.

"Fuck, my eyes!" The Uzumaki roared as he cleared a majority of it away. For the remaining portion that he couldn't get, he pulsed his chakra out from his face, subconsciously putting a bit of wind chakra in there as well. Once his vision wasn't completely obstructed, he ran towards his target, intent on putting her down for real this time.

There she was, checking her arm for any major damage. He lunged forward, ready to wrap his hands around her throat and deprive this cutie of the necessary oxygen she needed. This'll teach her to use something that he'd probably use on somebody too on him.

Too bad that once again fate had other plans for our favorite jinchuuriki today.

A green blur phased into view, standing directly in front of Tenten.

A foot reached out and made contact with his face, before another one bounced off of his chest to send him flying backwards towards a tree.

The last thing Naruto registered before his vision faded to black was some of the most horrifying eyebrows he'd ever seen in his life, soulless eyes that came from some disturbing corner in hell, and a skin tight green spandex body suit that almost scarred him more than his upbringing with Orochimaru.

X.X.X.

(With Gato and Pals, Later That Night)

The door to Gato's office burst openz startling the money grubbing midget and waking him up , "Wha-Who, what the fuck?!" He yelled as two of his most loyal henchmen ran into his room, one after the other.

"Boss! Everybody's dead! They're all dead!" The shorter one with a purple skull cap screamed.

"Its a fucking bloodbath out there boss, we gotta get out of here!" The taller, muscular one stated as he tried to shut the door behind them.

A giant needle flew right through the flimsy piece of wood through, piercing right through the poor guy's forehead, going downwards in it's trajectory to travel unimpeded through the shorter one's throat, before impaling itself directly into Gato's desk, scarring the midget shirtless. Literally.

Once Gato realized that he emptied his bowels in fear and his two most important lackeys were somehow floating in his office, a voice that sent even more chills down his spine caught his attention, "I'm baaack!"

The light from the moon came into the moon due the large window behind Gato, allowing him to catch a glimpse of what appeared to be a super thin wire attached to the end of the needle sword. At least he had his answer on how his two dead workers weren't laying on the ground now.

The door was kicked open, revealing a bloodsoaked Jinpachi standing there with more of the wire wrapped around his hand, "Did you miss me?"

Visibly sweating and shaking, Gato pushed his chair away from his desk, wanting as much distance between him and this demon as possible, "Please don't tell me that you killed all of the people working for me..."

"Yeah, about that... I've noticed that you're down a couple of workers. Tis a shame, really. Who's gonna protect you now? Who's gonna be able to keep you in charge?" He asked with a shit eating grin.

Realization struck Gato at that moment. This man was a complete fucking psycho, hands down, "Y-you murdered all of my employees... just to get me to hire you?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"A lot of things. Oh yeah, I might have tipped off the oppressed little town nearby that you're completely vulnerable. No dangerous thugs to protect you... nobody at all." He then looked out the window behind the terrified man, "Oh would you look at that, they're on their way to come get you. Pitchforks and torches and all." He darkly chuckled.

"You did this! It's your fault!"

"I take full credit for the potential maiming that you're about to receive. If only you could hire somebody to keep that from happening..." He sighed whimsically as he removed Nuibari from Gato's desk. This plot of his served two purposes. The main purpose would reveal itself soon enough, but the secondary purpose was for practice with the Kubikirihocho and Nuibari.

Once he gathered the sword and sealed it away into a storage scroll, he promptly turned and made his way back to the door, intent on leaving Gato to his own devices.

"Wait! I'll pay you whatever you want, just keep them from getting me!" The now defenseless man desperately pleaded.

"... You wouldn't happen to be hiring me as your full-time bodyguard, now would you?" Jinpachi asked, a devious smirk on his face. Sometimes it was just too easy.

"That's exactly what I'm hiring you for, now go scare them off or something!"

Jinpachi laughed as he left the room, "Whatever you say, boss man!"

X.X.X.

 **Here I am with more fan fiction for the masses! Dealing with the fall out chapters always take me a while to write, man. I don't know why either.**

 **It's something I need to work on. I'll get better at it as time progresses.**

 **But back to the story, time for more plot! Trouble looms over the horizon! A storm is approaching! Green spandex body suits are terrifying!**

 **Danzo is still scheming as always, Mizuki and Pals are up to no good, Naruto just got kicked to sleep by Lee, and Jinpachi is really adamant on staying beside somebody with a lot of connections in the Naruto world.**

 **Huh, I wonder why.**

 **But read and review! Don't vote for Donald Trump! Enjoy your Christmas!**

 **Until next time, SPVNK out.**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Do I own Naruto? Nope. Do I own anything that makes me money? Unless I count my own skills, nope. Do I wish that I owned Naruto and the ability to have a fresh plate of whatever food of my choosing whenever I desire it? Hell. To. The. Yes.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 12: Chief Keef Looks Like A Poison Type Pokemon**

 **X.X.X**

(With Naruto and Pals, Another Morning)

"Fuck that, I want a rematch! He blindsided me!" Naruto spat grumpily as he stared at the boy who kicked him straight into the warm, welcoming arms of unconsciousness. Sitting cross legged on a tree stump as he and Tenten watched the guy do an _extreme_ workout in the form of five hundred handstand push ups, he continued to frown. Yesterday he had Tenten on the ropes, and was enjoying it too. Nothing like finishing something that someone else started.

All was going good until this nutcase came out of nowhere. And seriously, why did he hit so fucking hard?

Sasuke didn't hit that hard.

Shikamaru didn't hit that hard.

Hell, even Choji didn't hit that hard, and his family members were known for being strong as all get out.

What kind of abnormal hell does this guy subject himself to in order to kick that hard? How intense were his workouts?

Tenten noticed the scrutiny that Naruto was observing her teammate with and couldn't help but chuckle. It was cute to see this kid, who originally presented himself as the ultimate sneaky badass in their first encounter, so worked up over a sneak attack. Granted, she wasn't expecting Lee to come out of nowhere either, but he did come at a right moment.

Nobody likes having dirt thrown into their eyes after all. Tenten wasn't foolish enough to assume that Naruto would've been gentle if he managed to get within striking distance. She didn't know if he was as strong as Lee or stronger, but she did know that he was a close range kind of guy.

She idly wondered if he'd be down for a rematch with her. She was confident enough in her ability to keep him at bay now that she had an idea of what she had to deal with.

"You guys didn't even have a match. He just popped up and sent you to dream land with his feet." The bun haired girl pointed out, feeling mischievous enough to further agitate the blond. Hey, he wanted to heckle her yesterday, so why not get some payback?

Naruto shook his head vehemently, obviously disagreeing with her statement, "Nope, I don't care." He pointed at Lee with his index finger, his hand resembling a gun, "I want my fair one, and he's in my crosshairs until further notice..." He then pointed at Tenten as well, "You too."

"Me too, huh? Care to back those words up right now?" Tenten proposed in an obviously challenging tone. A mischievous grin found its way onto her face as Naruto hopped off of his stump, made his way towards the center of the training ground, and entered his fighting stance.

"Hey Bushy Brows, could you get out of the way? Tenten and I are about to have a friendly rematch." Naruto said with a growing smile, promising nothing but pain for Tenten should he get even one of his hands on her. Lee heard his request and flipped himself onto his feet, sparing Naruto a blinding smile that was so bright, the jinchuuriki could have sworn that he heard a twinkle sound from somewhere, "Of course, Naruto! I shall be the referee for this most youthful event!" The spandex clad boy youthfully exclaimed as he hopped out of the way.

Not knowing how to respond to such youthfulness, Naruto scratched his cheek dryly, "...Uh, yeah that's cool with me... hey Lee, how about after me and Tenten get done, me and you have a fight as well?" These guys seemed to be in a completely different league than the rest of his friends. Even though they were genin just like the rest of them, Naruto could instinctively tell that they posed a challenge to him.

Tenten was probably their weakest link since he hasn't seen her resort to anything other than trying to riddle his body with various sharp objects, so he'd go through her first.

Lee had some power and speed to him, and who knows what kind of jutsu he carried under his belt... he'd have to proceed with caution when dealing with this one.

He didn't even know who the third one was, but he assumed that he had to have something about him if he was going to he able to compare to these two. The prospect of fighting them was really getting the jinchuuriki excited as hell.

Finally, a chance to fight without fighting some crazy ass swordsman hell bent on killing you. He'd still look for Asuma once he was done running the gauntlet with these two. Maybe if the third member showed up he could stomp all three of them into the ground.

Lee registered the question, answering it with a firey excitement, "I would love to fight you, Naruto! A clash of passions! Two youthful combatants meeting each other head on, giving it all they've got! I shall prepare for our match by completing five hundred jumping jacks!"

Tenten on the other hand, looked exasperated, yet not surprised. Clearly she was more used to Lee's eccentric personality than Naruto was, "How are you gonna be the procter for the match if you're too busy working out, Lee?"

Lee's fire didn't dim however as he set himself into position for a mean jumping jack session, "Fear not Tenten, for I will keep a vigilant eye on your match while completing my jumping jacks! The Flames of Youth allow me to multitask brilliantly!"

"That's the spirit Lee! Keep those Flames of Youth burning and nothing will be able to stop you!" A strong voice sounded from behind Tenten, alerting Naruto to two more males emerging from the woods. One was a larger, older version of Lee, complete with the spandex body suit, cool jonin flak jacket, and immaculate bowl haircut. The other was a rather feminine looking dude. Long brown hair in a ponytail, white high collared shirt, brown shorts with tape wrapped around his arms and legs, and trademark white eyes identified him as a member of the Hyuuga clan.

Okay, so they did have somebody else worth something on their team. Excellent, "Hey, you with the white eyes and well maintained hair! Wanna fight after I beat your teammates?" So he had a weapon specialist, a Hyuuga, and a possible taijutsu specialist. He grinned. If this wasn't a challenge around his level, he didn't know what could be.

Lee turned to address the long haired boy, "Neji! It would be most youthful of you if you partook in a match with Naruto!"

Neji however didn't share the same enthusiasm as Lee did as he and the larger version of Lee took their places beside the bowl headed boy to watch the first match. In fact, he instead looked at Naruto with a subtle amount of disgust, "Why would I waste my time fighting a peon like him? He clearly isn't worthy of our time."

Naruto returned Neji's look of disgust with one of his own. Who the hell did he think he was talking to like that, "You got a problem or something?" He heard around town that Hyuuga clan members had major sticks up their asses, but damn! This guy didn't even give him a chance before he took to the high and mighty routine.

"There is no problem, I just know that at your current level, you don't pose a challenge to me." He stated, his tone just dripping with all the superiority that he could muster.

"Care to back that bold statement up, dickhead?"

"Resorting to name calling, are we? How fitting for you."

A kunai being thrown at both Neji's and Naruto's feet pulled them out of their growing spat, switching the attention to Tenten, "Oi, I want my match first! Neji, stop being a dickhead to him, you don't even know his name yet!" That was one thing that she could do without, that attitude of Neji's. He was always so quick to talk down on people, almost as if it was a instinctual urge or something.

"His name isn't even important enough for me to bother to even learn it. Why are you two wasting time with this ruffian? Fate has it set in stone that he will never amount to us, so why bother?" Neji said, not backing down once he realized that Naruto was in his face with clenched teeth, "It would be wise of you to remove yourself from my presence."

Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, Naruto snarled, "It would be wise of you to fix your attitude before I fix it for you."

Neither of the boys backed down from the other's warning however, so an intense glaring match ensued. Tempers were high, tension was palpable, and wills were clashing as the two both subtly prepared to possibly hospitalize the other.

Neji brandished two fingers primed to teach this boy a lesson, letting them hang at his side...

Naruto allowed several bones to protrude from his palm, keeping that hand hidden behind his back...

"Such a tense standoff! Neji, you're letting your attitude get the best of you again!" Gai bellowed heartily as he separated the potential fighters by placing his spandex clad body in between the two.

Neji got a faceful of washboard abs and bulge, while Naruto got an eye full of the most chiseled ass he'd ever seen in his life.

Whether the mental scarring was intentional or not, it got the desired results as both boys shedded their hostile intent in favor of running to a nearby bush to empty their stomachs.

Tenten's eyebrow twitched fifty miles an hour as she internally fumed and thanked all that was holy that she didn't get none of that action. Just being on this team was mentally damaging enough.

Lee looked on in awe, "Such a youthful manner of preventing them from fighting, Gai-sensei! Teach me the ways!"

Gai responded by turning around and striking a grandiose pose, pointing at Lee, "Don't you worry, my protege! There's plenty more where that came from!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

The two dopplegangers ran at each other, before enveloping each other in a manly, skin tight spandex filled hug, rubbing all kinds of youth onto each other. Somehow a sunset, despite it not even being ten in the morning yet, came out to enhance the disturbing display of manly love, complete with a beach with palm trees and coconuts strewn about.

Yeah, it was a real youthful moment.

After ridding himself of the stomach content that Gai decided that he didn't need, Naruto pulled his head out of the bush, only to get another eye full of some shit that he didn't need to see.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Oh yes, Lee!"

Oh Kami, what the fuck is wrong with this team?! He went straight back to the bush, with Neji doing the same. You'd think Neji would be used to the chaos that is Gai and Lee, but even the legendary stoicism of the Hyuuga had it's limit.

Five minutes later, once everyone got done with being scarred/ scarring, Naruto and Tenten stood facing one another, ready to get their match underway.

Tenten placed a hand on her hip, "You sure you still wanna do this? You were throwing up an awful lot, so I could only imagine how light headed you are." She taunted.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey, Gai-sensei, could you give me an evaluation of my fighting style after these matches? I need an expert's opinion on things." His opinion, as humble as it was, wasn't probably the best instrument that he needed right now to determine what he needed to work on. All Naruto would do is tell himself that there was not a soul walking that could beat him, and that was that.

It was a bloated and highly egotistical way of thinking, a way of thinking that would probably cause him to bite off more than he could chew in his future endeavors as a ninja, but he didn't care at the moment.

Cupping his chin with his hand, Gai then threw that hand out into a thumbs up, "Sure thing, Naruto!" There was actually a bit of excitement beyond his usual youth related vigor, due to the fact that he was about to witness a genin that supposedly bested a jonin, an elite jonin at that, in live action.

"I could give you an honest evaluation right now." Neji calmly offered, his smirk telling his obvious intent to belittle the blond should he get the chance. Usually he wasn't one for antagonizing others intentionally, but this was an exception.

"Keep talking, you're only digging your grave further. Now then, any official rules, Bushy Brows-sensei?" Naruto asked, thoroughly ignoring Neji's attempt to agitate him. He'd be force feeding him enough boot to start up a shoe factory directly, so there's no need to get worked up now.

Hearing that it was his cue, Gai walked forward and set his arm in position, "Each match will be fifteen minutes so that you all get an equal opportunity to showcase your Flames of Youth! No intentionally lethal moves!" He said, cutting an eye directly to Naruto. By now, every chunin and up within the village knew of the boy's absolutely devastating taijutsu. But he was confident enough in his team to handle it.

"Are you two ready?"

"Let's get this going!" Tenten eagerly proclaimed as she brandished a handful of kunai.

"I'm down!" Naruto returned with equal amounts of gusto, ready to charge her directly down. There weren't any trees where they were fighting, which meant that he'd have to he sneaky if he wanted to pull another clone maneuver off.

"Alright! Match one: Naruto versus Tenten, begin!" The Emerald Beast exclaimed as he hopped backwards, allowing the match to start.

Tenten wasted no time, opting to backdash while tossing kunai about in an attempt to herd his movements. If she knew anything about fighting speedy opponents, which she did since she had a freak of nature on her team known as Rock Lee, she knew that the best way to deal with them when you couldn't match their speed was to keep them limited to a certain path of movement. It was easier to predict where they would strike that way.

Naruto saw the kunai making their way towards him and easily flipped over the first wave, taking off at speed to bring the fight to Tenten. The moment his feet touched the ground though, three kunai went straight into his arm.

 _"What the fuck?"_

Grinning due to her successful gambit, Tenten continued her ranged onslaught in the form of more kunai. A majority of them missed due to his evasive maneuvers, however another three managed to clip him in the leg.

Tired of being used for target practice, Naruto pushed out a small burst of chakra, which was really half of an average genin's reserves, in order to rid himself of the kunai that took up residence within his arm. He couldn't help but develop a shit eating grin when he noticed that another salvo of ranged projectiles came for him, only to be repelled by the sudden burst of almost solid chakra, "I knew those exercises were gonna shine through one day!" He roared as he rushes forward, preparing to turn this whole little thing around. He wasn't moving as quick as he usually did due to the pain of getting impaled with pointy objects, but he still had a healthy amount of speed behind him.

"Gai-sensei, how did he do that?" Lee asked. It wasn't every day that you see somebody shoot chakra out to deflect weapons, after all.

Gai's usual air of unbridled enthusiasm was gone in favor of a more mature aura as he analyzed the match. Color him surprised, he knew that the boy would have a couple of tricks or two up his sleeve, but to deflect weapons like that?

What an interesting child indeed, "He released chakra from his body, and I'm assuming that his chakra is dense enough to be solid outside of his body for a couple of seconds." The taijutsu expert of Konoha deduced as he crossed his arms, wondering how his female student was going to handle Naruto up close. He was closing in on her position, and his earlier move of ridding himself of the thrown weapons seemed to make her think twice about continuing her long ranged assault.

Tenten stared owlishly for a split second at the fact that he shot enough chakra out of his body to actually deflect thrown weapons. How in the hell was that possible? Whatever he did, it didn't matter now that he was almost in her face at this point in the match. Reaching behind her to take a short knife out of a sealing scroll, Tenten lashed out at the blond.

He dodged the swipe though, and reached out for her arm to grab it. Clicking his teeth when she moved her arm away, Naruto pretended to go for a full body tackle, but found himself getting a kick in the face.

Tenten grinned wickedly as she made contact with his face. Being on a team of two taijutsu specialists, she was no stranger to feints. He should've known better.

She had to kick off of his face and use it as a springboard in order to avoid a strong looking kick. Instead of going for some distance like she was usually tempted to do, Tenten was feeling a bit more aggressive. Sure she could pepper his body with as many sharp objects that she kept on her person as she wanted to, but something was telling her to keep it close range. Without further ado she dashed forward, her dagger prepared to slice him to ribbons.

He gritted his teeth as he saw her approach. That blade was far from the most intimidating weapon he's seen since he's had brushes with death in the form of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, but he still wasn't a fan of getting cut and stabbed. So when she came in trying to treat him like a butcher treats his meat, he put his flexibility and agility on display for all to see. Dodging, weaving, and bobbing, Naruto couldn't help but smirk at his opponent, who was steadily becoming more and more annoyed at her lack of contact with him, "Hold still, damn you!"

"Okie dokie, artichoke."

He stopped dodging and caught Tenten by the wrist before she could complete another diagonal slash. She tried to budge her arm, but his grip was too tight.

 _"Shit, I didn't think he'd do it!"_ The bun haired girl frantically thought as she threw a punch with her free arm.

What she was expecting was for him to either attempt to dodge the punch or block the punch.

Well, he did live up to expectations, just not in the way that was wanted.

A row of sharp, jagged bones protruded from his arm, alarming everyone that wasn't Gai. Tenten's arm was clearly heading directly towards the bones, and Naruto was banking on it.

 _"Let's see how you like being impaled."_ Unlike him, he was sure that she didn't have a healing factor, so there wasn't going to be any quick recovery on her side of things.

"Tenten!" Lee shouted at the sight of the bones.

 _"That has to be a kekkei genkai... there's more to him than what you see on the surface."_ Neji mused.

Tenten cried out in pain as the bones punctured her arm. That instant moment of pain that she suffered was all that Naruto needed in order to drive a boot into her belly, sending her tumbling away.

"Tenten!" Lee shouted as he attempted to go stop the match, only for Gai to plant a firm hand on his shoulder. His eyes were stern as he gave Lee a pointed look, "No Lee. You can't interfere with the fight. She's not in mortal danger." He understood why Lee wanted to step in and stop the match, his teammate got hurt. Clearly this wasn't the average genin on the block that she was messing with, but she needed to handle this on her own.

The taijutsu expert of Konoha turned his attention back towards the match once he noticed Naruto rush over to his downed student. Grinning wickedly, the blond jumped into the air, tucked his body into a ball, and began to complete several front flips.

So that was the name of his game, huh? The moment that a battle becomes that of a close quarters combat affair, Naruto usually had the advantage in the scrap due to his kekkei genkai. Blocking his attacks were ill advised if you weren't completely his superior in taijutsu. Trading blows with him was definitely not a good idea.

Then he seemed to use momentum in his taijutsu...

It seems that he has Tenten dead to rights this time.

Upon completing his final somersault, Naruto extended both of his legs to drive all of that accumulated momentum into whatever section of Tenten's body he could. Tenten tried to avoid a majority of the attack, but her injured arm took even more damage as she foolishly used it to block the kick.

Okay, that wasn't her smartest decision. It took all of her willpower not to cry out from that brutal kick. He didn't hit as hard as either of her teammates, but the added momentum and the already existing injury made her vision swim. Falling onto her back harshly, she sucked a sharp breath in, desperately trying to regain the oxygen she lost from the impact.

She then had to immediately roll to the side in order to avoid having her chest caved in by a mean looking boot. Kami, he fought in such a brutal manner! It was crazy!

... Why was he still trying to stomp her out? She kept rolling, and he kept stomping after her with overly exaggerated steps. Was he really that intent on tap dancing on her chest?

The fact that with each completed roll, her fucked up arm cried out in protest was being actively ignored due to the more pressing concerns.

Eventually getting tired of inadvertently hurting herself even more, Tenten used her good arm to spring up and away from the still grinning Naruto. She tossed yet another handful of shuriken at him to deter him for pressing his advantage, but he simply encased his arm from the elbow to the knuckle in a armour that consisted of spiraling bones before knocking them all aside. As she landed, she cursed her luck and started to dodge the blond's attacks.

A high overhand was ducked under.

The following uppercut was dodged by her leaning her head back. She noticed that whenever they fought, even if they only fought twice, a dirty tactic was always used.

First time Tenten threw dirt in his eyes **.**

Second time Naruto fucked her arm up, then _kicked_ said arm purposely.

Granted, it was a last minute decision to block the attack on her part, but that was neither here nor there.

She had to keep the tradition going, it was only the right thing to do.

Now her speed wasn't on the level of Neji or Lee, but she still had enough speed to plant a kick directly into Naruto's crotch. Hey, he fucked up her arm and kicked it right after, so this was payback for that.

On this day, the bun haired girl unknowingly created a monster.

"That was rather unyouthful of Tenten." Lee mumbled, subconsciously covering his youthful parts. Gai couldn't help but agree and shed a manly tear in respect to a fellow male's plight.

Even Neji felt for the poor blond, and he didn't really care for him that much.

Wheezing, bent over, and cross eyed, the poor boy couldn't help but internally curse his luck. Why did she have to go for the sack, man? He gave her brownie points for something that underhanded, but at the same time he wanted to scoop both of her eyes out with rusty kunai for this transgression.

He also silently made a mental note to incorporate more groin strikes in his close quarters game. Seriously, that was a showstopper alone without his kekkei genkai enhancing it.

Once he got the feeling back in his lower body, there was going to be hell to pay.

X.X.X.

(Elsewhere in Konoha)

Tayuya put a thoughtful finger on her chin as she cradled her flute in her lap. As she sat on a tree stomp in the Forest of Death, she couldn't help but acknowledge this nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She just couldn't put her finger on it, but somehow she knew that trouble was coming.

It could've been argued that just about anyone with combat training always had that feeling, but this was something different.

It didn't help that her neck started to tingle every now and then. But then again, a tingle was a very small word to describe the sensation, an understatement really. It was more like a searing pain, a raging fire that would just happen to light itself on and off whenever it pleased.

Beginning a couple of days ago, the sporadic burning sensations confused the red haired musician to no end. Mainly because they would just come out of nowhere with no warning. She also began to pick up on the common feeling that all shinobi experience on a day to day basis.

She was being watched. Not in the average way that everybody that populated a ninja village experienced, but a more focused observation. Someone was studying her, watching her every move.

They were stalking her, observing their prey.

She knew that eventually the chase would be on, the predator would come out to play, she was the prey, and something on the opposite of the pleasant spectrum was going to take place...

Just what it was, she had no idea.

All she knew was that she was being stalked, it had something to do with her neck, and shit was gonna hit the fan sooner or later.

She initially assumed it to be Anko or Naruto as the potential sources of the stalking, but her theory was disproved when the two suspects in question came with her to the Forest of Death one day. Not only did the feeling remain, it got even fucking worse. They had to stop what they were doing at one point due to the amount of hostile intent the three sensed coming from a random area in the distance.

That reminded her. She always felt more intensity with the feeling whenever she was in the Forest. Walking around the village, she registered it, but it was muted in comparison to the magnified malevolence she felt in the Forest so she ignored it for the most part.

... So whoever was watching her fancied the Forest, had something to do with her curse mark, and was really livid at the sight of her, Anko, and Naruto together. Three people that all shared a common background.

Three people who all were taught by a common teacher.

Three people who were all betrayed by a certain Sannin.

Well, that summed up who it could be. Funny how things clicked together once you sat down and thought about it.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" A dry chuckle escaped her lips as she gripped the flute in her lap tightly, "I guess Kidomaru was right... poor bastard." She mused as she scanned her surroundings with her eyes.

Her tense examination of the intimidating forest was interrupted by Anko materializing behind her, scaring the shit out of the poor girl, "Heyyyyy! I got a surprise for you!" She exclaimed, ignoring the fact that her protege was on the forest floor trying to regain her breathing.

"I fucking hate you, you stupid bitch! Why can't you just announce your presence without giving me a heart attack?!" Tayuya spat in between deep breaths. She got caught slipping due to her deep train of thought, and paid the price for it. She'd have to make a mental note to not let her guard down like that in the future, especially around an area like this.

"Now why would I do that? That takes the fun out of things, girlie. Besides, you usually aren't caught off guard that easily. What's up with you?" Anko asked as she commendeered her pupil's former sitting position as her own. If she wanted it back, she'd have to fight her for it.

Hearing the question, Tayuya fixed herself into a sitting position on the ground, lacking the energy required to fight that one sided battle to regain control over the stump, "... My seal has been burning lately."

No visible amount of playfulness was evident on Anko's face. Complete seriousness dominated her usually mischievous features, "You have my attention."

The younger of the two took that as her cue to elaborate, "I feel watched."

"Everybody feels like that, girlie. We're shinobi, that's a good indicator that you're still alive, just like pain and kinky hormones."

"No you idiot, like _watched_ watched. Whoever's watching me always makes the cursed mark act up, and it's fucking driving me nuts!" Tayuya yelled, gripping her hair in frustration.

Hoh? A feeling of being watched, along with a cursed seal that goes haywire whenever it feels like it.

The two looked at each other for several more minutes, Anko scrutinizing every aspect of her student while Tayuya just glared at her sensei. The glare held no true intent behind it, that's just the way she naturally looked at Anko by this point.

"... I've never seen you give any signs that something like that was happening. Why are you just now bringing this up?" Anko questioned, a small amount of fear and anger beginning to brew within her. If Orochimaru was actually here...

"It came up multiple times, usually whenever we were in here. I'd stumble or scream out, but I always lied about it and told you it was cause of some stupid ass jutsu or attack you used." Tayuya explained as she rubbed her neck.

"Get up, we gotta go to the Hokage tower." The special jonin commanded, no sense of humor being found in her voice. This was no time for games.

Shit, that doesn't sound too good, "You don't think..."

"I really do and don't hope that that's not the case." Anko replied as the two took off through the forest at a frantic pace.

Confusion riddled Tayuya's face, "Did you really just fucking say you do? The hell?!"

"I do because if he is here, I'm going to extract my pound of flesh that bastard owes me." She said with absolute conviction, not missing a beat.

The two girls, in their haste, were completely unaware of the two pairs of eyes watching them retreat. Sakon and Jirobo watched the duo for a couple more seconds before Jirobo finally broke the silence, "That was Orochimaru's former apprentice..."

Scowling, Sakon snorted and grumpily spat to the side, "Former for a reason. She can't be too much of a hassle to deal with if need be. What I'm itching for is a chance to fight Tayuya though." To say that he utterly despised anything to do with Konoha was a complete understatement. The additional fact that Tayuya was formerly on their side and turned traitor for the Konoha kids didn't quell his desire to demolish her either.

"Understandable. She did betray us, along with Naruto." Jirobo nodded in agreement.

Naruto? Shit. Sakon honestly forgot that there was a chance of coming across Naruto on this mission. That little sadistic shit was nothing but trouble when he was younger... imagine the amount of hell he could raise now!

"...Shit."

"Shit?"

"Naruto."

"So?"

" _Narutoooo."_ Sakon hissed, trying to stress his point.

"Ohhh, _Naruto..._ I'm lost."

"..."

"... I'm still lost."

"GODAMMIT HE'S PROBABLY A BIGGER MONSTER THAN BEFORE!" The silver haired lad exclaimed, his frustration with his partner not catching on reaching it's peak.

Jirobo looked on owlishly for a couple of seconds in order to let that piece of information sink in, eventually coming to a realization, "Shit."

Cue a face palm from Sakon, "Ten years later, he finally catches on." Sakon muttered dryly.

Jirobo heard a clap of thunder in the distance. That storm in the distance from yesterday evening must be nearing closer and closer, "Should we stay here in the woods or should we return back to the perimeter outside of the village?" They originally deviated from the plan due to a growing boredom that they couldn't cope with, using an excuse in the form of "gathering data" on their target. Good thing they found this forest, it had plenty of action to keep them occupied.

It was also a bonus that their target was a regular around these parts.

"I say we hang around here for a little bit, cause I'm hungry." Sakon suggested as he rubbed his belly. Even elite ninja under the conmand of a legendary shinobi needed to eat.

"Boar hunting again?" The larger of the two threw a suggestion into the ring, hoping that his favorite food was on the menu for now. Something abnormal had to be in the plants and animals that dwelled within the fenced off forest, because the sheer size of everything here was ridiculous compared to everywhere else.

Stretching his arms, Sakon shrugged after finishing, "Sure. You have to skin it this time, though."

Jirobo nodded before taking off in a random direction. Sakon's eyebrow began to twitch rapidly at his partner's sudden departure, "Oi, couldn't even give me a warning? Stupid fatass..."

X.X.X.

(Elsewhere in Konoha)

The thunder was rolling in.

He felt the drops of water begin to fall from the sky, staining his face. Despite the rain coming in, it didn't dampen his mood in the slightest.

He usually didn't sit around on the rooftops, but he was simply passing the time, watching the Hokage tower. Once the main guest arrived, things would begin to pick up.

To the untrained civilian eye, the two quick moving beings that passed him were impossible to identify. They weren't for him though.

His eyes almost lit up in childish excitement once he registered the giant mane of flowing red hair pass him by. Hell, they even made eye contact for a split second.

All was going according to plan, all he needed to do was make sure that the train didn't derail itself.

First, he had to slip in there without looking suspicious...

X.X.X

(With Naruto and Team Spandex and Uncomfortable Youth)

"Are you sure you still wish to fight me, Naruto-san? You have taken quite an unyouthful blow." Lee asked as he sat in front of the still recuperating Naruto.

Naruto sighed as the last little bit of pain subsided. Noticing the rain that began to fall, the blond looked up at the sky, smiling a bit, "I'm up for it Lee, don't worry." He reassured, feeling a bit awkward due to being subjected to Lee's stare.

Those ridiculous eyebrows... the funny haircut... the unblinking eyes.

If anybody had a potential for a killer poker face, it had to be Lee.

Gai looked over from his position by Tenten as he continued to wrap her injured arm, "That's the spirit, Naruto! No matter the injury or hardships that you endure, always be ready to showcase your Flames of Youth! Lee!"

The mini Gai clone paused his one sided staring contest with Naruto, "Yes, Gai-sensei?"

"Take notes, my protege! Naruto has the Flames of Youth, and they are shining brightly!" He declared as he flashed them his trademark grin and thumbs up.

Naruto looked blankly for a couple of seconds, "...Yeah." The sounds of a pencil furiously scribbling on a sheet of paper directed Naruto's attention back to Lee, who actually had pen and paper out in order to jot down the notes.

Kami, this team was weird.

"Sensei, why not let me fight him instead? He had a grievance with me earlier, after all." The resident Hyuuga cooly suggested from his position against a tree.

"I'm definitely down for that! I'll kick his ass!"

"Please. You couldn't even defeat Tenten." An indignant cry from Tenten was thoroughly ignored in favor of smirking confidently once the blond began to advance towards the opening in the field. Neji raised an eyebrow once Naruto completely removed his black shirt, opting to go shirtless for their spar, "Any reason why you decided to take your shirt off?"

"I don't wanna mess up my shirt when I put you in the hospital." The jinchuuriki smoothly responded.

Confident, aren't we? He'd have to beat it into his head that his confidence was misplaced.

Once both combatants reached the unofficial arena, Gai shook his head, "As much as I am an advocate for two young combatants speaking through the beautiful language of combat, I can't let this happen right now."

"Why not?"

"Tenten here requires medical attention. At best, I only know basic field medicine, enough to prevent the would from bleeding any further. It still needs to be mended and stitched up..." Gai stated with a serious look on his face, leaving no room for an argument.

Both boys looked at Tenten's injured arm, then looked at each other.

Neji eventually scoffed before haughtily turning his back on Naruto, opting to go join his team, "Fate has spared you today, Uzumaki. Be grateful."

"Fate must love you as well."

That was honestly a surprise. The Hyuuga didn't expect the rabble to go along with his tendency of referring to fate in everyday conversation.

Neji turned his head to raise a curious eyebrow, "Hoh? And why would you say that?" Neji agreed and disagreed wholeheartedly with that statement for differing reasons, but he wanted to hear someone else's viewpoint on the subject.

"Fate saved you from getting karate kicked in the mouth until your teeth get ejected. Fate's gotta keep you healthy enough to waltz around with that stick deep in your ass."

He really should've seen that coming.

Not one to lose his composure on the outside so easily, Neji simply flashed Naruto a cocky smirk, "Fear not, Uzumaki. There will come the time when we shall meet in combat. Not only will you lose to me, you'll also come to a realization, an epiphany of sorts."

Naruto just shrugged his shoulders.

"... It was my mistake to place you on my level. How would someone such as yourself know what epiphany means? How silly of me." The long haired dickhead shook his head in amusement.

Walking back over to the group while making it a point to deliberately bump into Neji, Naruto grinned eagerly, "I'm gonna destroy you. Our upbringings were completely different, with mine being way rougher than yours, and I intend to show that fully."

Upbringing? Does he not know what kind of upbringing Neji has been subjected to?

Cursed to forever live in subservience to the Main Branch of the Hyuuga clan... cursed to always be loyal to a clan that would see him dead instead of on equal footing with his weaker cousin...

This fool doesn't know the meaning of an upbringing!

The veins around his eyes pulsed as a sudden surge of chakra made its way there.

His fingers, laced with enough chakra to stop a bull's heart, raced straight towards the blond.

There wasn't any complete intentions of killing the nuisance, but if he happened to keel over and accept his fate due to strenuous injuries, then it was no skin off of Neji's back.

"That's enough, Neji."

His fingers were halted in their malevolent charge by a firm grasp of his wrist from Gai, who had a stone faced expression in play. Clearly this was no time for his usual youthful shenanigans, "Attacking a fellow shinobi while their back is turned? I expected better of you."

Granted, their profession was all about stabbing folks in the back and doing whatever it takes to ensure victory, but that was beside the point. Right now they weren't in a life or death situation, they weren't even in a friendly spar. This was a completely non hostile situation, well as non hostile as these two could be, and he went at Naruto with a clear intent to grievously harm him.

Gai knew that the upbringing statement probably brought out the demon in Neji, and it was understandable, but he still had to reign his student. This was completely out of line.

Neji realized that trying to attack the blond, who still had his back turned as if he wasn't about to be rendered cripppled, wasn't going to happen. Shaking his hand free from his sensei's iron grip, Neji deactivated his kekkei genkai and recompsed himself, "My apologies, sensei. That was completely unbecoming of me." It really was. He was a Hyuuga, the upper echelon of shinobi royalty. Someone in his station never breaks composure over the words of a mere commoner, it was completely ridiculous.

Tenten frowned at her teammate, "You're apologizing to the wrong person, Neji."

Lowly chuckling to himself, Naruto finally turned around and smiled. One would think that a sneak attack would've pissed him off, but clearly that wasn't the case, "I see it clearly now. Me and you Neji, we're gonna have an epic showdown. Two close range monsters... one wrong hit could end either of our lives... this is gonna be great." He chuckled in anticipation as the rain begain to pour in, weighing down his hair.

"Hmmph. You're clearly not taking this seriously, but don't worry Uzumaki. Our time will come." Neji stated with absolute certainty. He was definitely going to teach this idiot how the Hyuuga taijutsu was superior to his taijutsu. No, no he had to break this fool. He really believed that he had it harder in life... ridiculous.

The tense air between the two was instantly unraveled once Lee decided to do what he did best.

The bushy brow junior screamed about the Flames of Youth like his life depended on it.

"Naruto, Neji! You two are displaying high levels of Youth! I have to reach your levels, and if I can't do that, I shall run around Konoha a grand total of five hundred laps!" He passionately declared as he practically teleported back and forth between Neji and Naruto's sides.

Naruto was slightly thrown off by Lee's antics, but eventually shrugged them off. Lee and Tenten were good people, so he could get used to their eccentric natures.

But Neji, Neji had to get his shit pushed in. There were no if, ands, or buts about it, the guy had to be fought. All he had to do was be smart about this.

The arrival of an Anbu brought everyone's attention towards the faceless ninja. After nodding at Gai, the shinobi turned to the only blond jinchuuriki over there, "Uzumaki-san. You're presence is required by the Hokage right now. Please, come with me."

"Sure, just let me put my shirt back on." At first, he set out to put it on all the way, buttoning it up completely. But something just made him say forget it, so he just only buttoned the top button, leaving his chest and stomach visible for all to see.

The only female present spared the blond an appreciative glance. She didn't know what kind of upbringing he had, but it did his body wonders. Who knew that he was built like that?

Naruto spared everyone there a warm smile and a wave with the exception of Neji.

He just received a passionate middle finger being jabbed into his chest, "I'm gonna hospitalize you, just know that. Alright Anbu, let's roll."

X.X.X

(Hokage Tower)

"I get to be on a team with Naruto?" Tayuya asked in disbelief? Her, Anko, Asuma, and Shikamaru stood before Hiruzen, all for a specific reason.

"If one crazy Orochimaru student wasn't enough on the team... troublesome." Shikamaru then made the wise decision to hide behind Asuma to prevent the absolute mauling he would've received from both Tayuya and Anko.

Asuma spared the two a nonchalant shrug, "Sorry ladies, can't maul this one." He said calmly as he placed a cigarette into his mouth. This was always one of his favorite perks of coming to the Hokage tower. Since his dad pretty much kept this room smoke filled with his pipe, there wasn't any opposition to him smoking in there.

As soon as he brought his lighter to the cancer stick, his heart dropped into his stomach the moment he realized that his cig was missing. Looking around frantically for the perpetrator of this heinous crime, he eventually leveled an intense glare onto Anko, who triumphantly held the cigarette in front of her chest with a waving motion.

"Give it back!" The bearded Sarutobi growled.

Anko simply responded by doing what she did best to men.

She dropped the item in question into her shirt, specifically in between her cleavage. Relishing in the moment of triumph, she decided to push the envelope further once she realized that Asuma was fully prepared to go in there after his stick of cancer.

She pulled a kunai from an unidentifiable area, "I _dare_ you to go in there."

She was a master of creating situations for men that would only lead to pain and disappointment in their side. It's how she got her kicks on the weekends.

Shit! She had him in check. He would've tried to go in there regardless, but the potential property damage was too high for that at the moment. Damn, damn, damn! He had to think fast! That was his last cigarette for crying out loud!

Craning his neck around, he gazed at Shikamaru with a contemplative gaze, receiving a dry look in return, "You can't be serious."

"I'll trade the boy for my precious."

"Sold to the bearded nicotine addict! Now give us the **boy.** "

A shiver went down Shikamaru's spine at the tone of voice she used. That didn't bode well for him at all.

He couldn't have been that worthless to be traded for a cigarette. He was one of his students.

"Here you go!"

Godammit Asuma!

Shikamaru was left wide open for the predators to come and stake their clan since Asuma practically teleported to Anko's side to receive his part of the trade.

Wait a second, where's Tayuya?

Once Asuma got what he wanted, he turned a blind eye to the events unfurling. All he wanted was a good smoke.

"Secure the target!" Anko ordered with authority.

Shikamaru found the front of his neck being pulled in by a solid white wooden flute. Crap, she was strangling him with the flute.

Well, in the face of his oncoming demise, one could never say that Shikamaru didn't falter in what he stood for.

"My previous statement still stands. Both of you are psycho women." He said right before he was choked to sleep. At least he didn't have to stay awake during the meeting since it wasn't directly involving him. He could just catch up whenever he woke up.

The door to the room opened up, revealing Naruto to the people already there. The blond looked around for a couple of moments, "Are we having a slumber party?"

Hiruzen had to fight the urge to palm the wrinkles out of his face. Just leave it to Shikamaru to set the wrong example at the wrong time.

"Negative, blondie. You're too young to have my kind of slumber parties anyway. Come back in a couple of years, then maybe we can get one going." Anko playfully teased as Naruto fully entered the room.

"I'm old enough." The Team Ten sensei chimed, eyeing the alluring body of Anko's.

"And you're... should I really go put it out there for the whole village to know?" The Snake Mistress pondered in a sickly sweet tone.

"No idea what you're talking about. I retract my previous statement." Best not to get in trouble over his libido.

"Good monkey."

"See, everybody knows, sensei. Quit being troublesome and come out with it already."

Asuma narrowed his eyes at the "sleeping" form of Shikamaru, "Quiet, you. You're supposed to be asleep."

"Ahem. While I do find my son's poorly hidden love life amusing, that is not what we came here to discuss. Now that Naruto-kun is here, we can get down to business." Hiruzen stated, trying to stifle his amusement at his son's flustered expression.

"So what's going on? Are we in trouble, because if we are I am not responsible."

Asuma chuckled, "Nope, no trouble here. There's a big event coming up, and we'd like you three to participate. The only issue was that you guys were down one teammate, and Tayuya was down two teammates."

A big event? Hmm. A big event that needed a team of three genin so that they could legitimately participate.

"... I'm staying asleep, you can't make me go."

Naruto looked down at Shikamaru before kicking him in the ribs. If he couldn't lay down and relax at a time like this, nobody could!

"Get up, Shika. There's plans of greatness involving us being made."

"I don't wanna be great, I just wanna sleep. You can have the troublesome limelight, just give me a warm bed and some clouds to look at." Had to give him credit, Shikamaru was a simple boy with simple desires.

Wanting to get back on track since she finally arrived to what Asuma was saying, Tayuya spoke up, "So basically, I'm being placed on Naruto's team to be able to do the Chunin Exams this year?" Hearing this got Naruto and Shikamaru to stop their back and forth, their attention being completely on the subject at hand.

"Yes my dear, that is exactly what is happening. Only if you want to join his team, though."

"Fuck yeah!" Tayuya exclaimed with joy as she pumped a victorious fist in the air, only to meekly squeak at losing her cool and cursing in front of the Hokage. She hurriedly covered her mouth in an uncharacteristic show of embarrassment, eliciting snickers out of everyone there.

A knock on the door brought everyone's attention behind them. Hiruzen cleared his voice and deepened it, "Who is it? Please refrain from knocking unless it is something of importance because I have a meeting right now."

"Hokage-sama, there's a c ranked mission that needs to be taken care of at the moment!" A familiar voice spoke with urgency from the other side of the door.

"That's Mizuki-teme. Wonder what that mission is..." Naruto mused, before turning almost robotically to Asuma.

The two made eye contact for several seconds before Asuma folded, "Dad, we'll take whatever mission that is." Damn excitable blonds. Why couldn't he just be like Shikamaru?

Chuckling, Hiruzen nodded his head at Team Ten's acceptance of the mission. In all honesty, they were going to placed on a C rank regardless in order to give them experience in working together. Mainly the experience was needed with Shikamaru and Tayuya, since the latter and Naruto were practically raised together.

"Come in, Mizuki. I have a team right here that's willing to take the mission." With access being granted, Mizuki strolled in with the scroll containing the mission's details. He had to fight the urge to glare at the demon, he had to keep things low key for now.

"Ah yes, Hokage-sama. A small tourist town to the west of us is requesting a team to take out a camp of bandits that's been terrorizing them lately. Random tourist kidnappings, pillaging, all sorts of heinous acts."

Clasping his hands in front of him, Hiruzen looked at each member of Team Ten before deciding to speak, "And your team will be able to handle the situation accordingly, correct?"

"Don't worry, Jiji. You can count on us to kick ass until both boots turn shitty, th-" Naruto's confident, yet vulgar claim was muffled by Tayuya's free hand as she used the other to yank the soul out of her teammate's hair for maximum control, "Don't worry, Hokage-sama. We got this." She smiled brightly, unaware of the sinister grin being directed towards her from behind.

 _"Don't worry, we'll have you as well."_

 _X.X.X._

 **I'm back and alive!**

 **I had a sudden surge of imagination, enough imagination to maybe one day get someone to do what I do for a side hobby. Mainly write and draw about characters, scenarios, and fight scenes I've created.**

 **But enough about me, let's talk about this.**

 **Originally I was gonna wrap this all up in one chapter, but alas, writers block has caught up with me. Now we're sitting here stumped over how to put the rest of this ordeal on the internet. Misery loves company after all.**

 **But yes, a cliffhanger. I should probably stop doing these. Don't worry, we're moving into the next arc within the next chapter. Get ready for the Chunin Exams, I'm going to try to make it extremely memorable or die trying!**

 **Seriously, the shit I have planned is a doozy.**

 **Read and review! Favorite and follow! Pray that it snows heavily in the south so that they shut everything down! I don't wanna go to school!**

 **Alright guys and girls, until next time.**

 **SPVNK out.**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. What I will be the owner of is 200 dollars, a car, hopefully a new job, and the coveted Bloodborne platinum trophy. I can't wait.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 13: Baby Did You Hear That?**

 **X.X.X.**

(Outside of Konoha)

"I swear, if that Mizuki-teme doesn't find a way to speed things up, I'm gonna strangle the nearest piece of leaf trash that I can find!" Sakon was pretty bored. And his boredom usually ended up in agitation. And whenever his agitation reared its ugly head, he had a tendency to lash out violently at those around him.

This personality trait of his has often led to him getting his shit pushed in whenever he wanted to buck on Kimimaro, but Kimimaro wasn't here, so he was safe from that recurring beating.

Fighting Jirobo at the moment wasn't a smart move since they both needed to be in tip top shape for their oncoming objective. Plus there was the major threat of the jonin sensei, and that little blond shit...

Yeah, he was really blowing hot air at this point. No need to wear himself out before the party started. So unfortunately, he'd just have to chill for now, sit in the rain with Jirobo, and hope that things pick up soon.

At least he could just watch the ominous, grey thunder clouds move around. Every now and then a bolt of lightning or two would leave the clouds in a frantic hurry to meet the ground, so there was some entertainment in that.

Watching the thunderstorm alongside his more vocal partner, Jirobo crossed his arms, "Hmm. Usually I wouldn't agree with you, but this time is different." They'd been switching back and forth between patrolling the village perimeter and hanging out in that ridiculous forest inside the village. Close calls of almost being discovered were plenty, but in all honesty those were the least boring moments that they had.

Jirobo wasn't one for violence unless provoked, but he'd be lying to himself if he said that he wasn't ready for a fight. It surely would beat being in the rain in a tree. At least the tree that they were situated in had a very good view of their surroundings. Looking to left, they could watch the main entrance to the village.

"Hey Jirobo, check it out. Things are about to pick up..."

Speaking of the main entrance...

X.X.X.

(At the Main Entrance)

Team Ten stood at the entrance to the village, ready to leave and embark on their mission. Asuma, being the grade A sensei that he was, was currently going over his team's inventory, "Alright, for the part of the team that decided it was too much of a hassle to stay awake," He said, poking fun at his Nara student's unfortunate mishap with the fairer sex, "I'm gonna go over the briefing one more time."

"Troublesome sensei selling my wellbeing for a cigarette... troublesome redhead..." Shikamaru mumbled with an understandable amount of ire.

"Anyway, this whole thing shouldn't take no more than tomorrow. We arrive in the town tonight, they're providing the room and board for us so that's a benefit to this gig..." Asuma continued, ignoring Shikamaru thoroughly.

"So with that being said, let's go over the inventory for now. We can come up with a plan when we get there and get a read on how the bandits operate. Shikamaru, since you're my favorite student in the whole wide world-"

"Bullshit!"

"-You can go first. Let's see what you got, kid."

Hearing that it was his turn to step up to the plate, Shikamaru glared at Asuma as he presented his travelling bag to the smoker. He stepped back while idly circulating water chakra through his shadow, showing a small amount of excitement once he noticed it begin to ripple and move. Only a little more practice, and he'd have something concrete.

Naruto could have his kekkei genkai and wind affinity, Shikamaru had his own thing. While it may have not been as immediately threatening as sharp bones traveling towards your face, it was sure to turn a few heads once people found out about it.

A hand snapping its fingers in front of his face brought him out of his musings, "Earth to Shikamaru, are you back with us yet? What's with your bag?" Tayuya asked with her other hand on her hip. She knew that the Nara was laziness and sleeping given a human body, but that was ridiculous.

"What's wrong with it?"

She simply reached into his bag, which Asuma was still holding. Eventually she found what she was looking for, and used both hands to pull out two separate bed rolls and three pillows while giving Shikamaru a deadpan look.

"I'm still not seeing the issue."

Naruto cupped his chin, a sage like look on his face, "I don't see it either, seems like he's packed for the long haul to me."

Asuma gave the Nara a dry look as well, "They're giving us free lodging already. Why do you need two sleeping rolls?" And he wasn't even going to get on him about the pillows, because it took serious skill to pack all of that into one bag.

"Trust me, I know what I'm about, son."

Son? Why, that little...

"Sensei, check my bag. I'm pretty sure that all my shit's in order, and I'm packing correctly unlike some people..." Tayuya proudly stated as she side eyed Shikamaru.

Watching Asuma peruse the contents of his red headed teammate's bag, Naruto couldn't help but feel a swell of happiness. His best friend was on his team. Sure, the circumstances behind her being placed were pretty tragic, and he would never forget Ino, but there was always a silver lining in the grey clouds.

It was good for him since outside of living beside each other, they rarely got to see each other as much now. Anko was a slave driver according to Tayuya, so her days were always busy. His schedule was usually packed too since he spent a majority of his time either training with Shikamaru and Asuma or going over his family's scrolls.

A very important facet he needed to go over once they returned from the mission was his taijutsu. Surprisingly, Gai-sensei had a lot to say about his taijutsu and his fighting style in general. He'd never been verbally picked apart like that, and the criticism came from a source that he wasn't expecting it from.

X.X.X.

(Earlier That Day)

Strolling through the village in a black cloak to prevent the rain from drenching him any further, Naruto idly observed the crowd that he was navigating through. Countless civilians were just going about their daily lives, some completely blind to the horrors outside of the village gates. At least they all had on cloaks or umbrellas in order to keep the rain away.

Since he became proficient enough in sealing to store stuff, he skipped the middle man of packing a bag and just sealed all that he needed in a scroll on his hip. With that out of the way, he had extra time, so he decided to come out and people watch.

The jinchuuriki wondered how life would be if he was a civilian.

Ah yes, he could see it now...

... Ew. That was a really... boring daydream. He was nowhere near civilian status, and he was glad. It seemed really bland compared to the flavor packed lifestyle that shinobi lived. It just wouldn't have enough kick in it for Naruto's tastes.

Non shinobi seemed to live such a boring life. In a trade for living without that much pulse pounding action, they got such mundane lives.

It was probably way more stable than his life, but stability was not what he wanted. The less turbulent lifestyle just didn't have that special brand of crazy that he was accustomed to.

"Lee, for the love of Kami! Stop walking around on your hands! They're going to get all muddy since it's still raining!"

"No can do, Tenten!"

"That's right, Lee! Let them see your Flames of Youth shine bright! Even mother nature can't dim the flames!"

Speaking of a special brand of crazy...

Hitting a corner to turn right, Naruto ended up on a street that Team Gai was currently disturbing the peace on. Squinting his eyes at the sight of Tenten trying her hardest to disassociate herself with her zany teammates, the blond chuckled at the antics.

He nodded in satisfaction due to Tenten's arm being wrapped up. Good, she got the medical attention that she needed. Surprisingly, he didn't feel any remorse for doing it. He's done worse to people, being a sadistic student of Orochimaru and all, so a friendly injury wasn't much to feel bad over.

Tenten wasn't the only one trying to shy away from the non stop madness that was Lee, as Neji subtly inched away from the group. Eventually he spotted the irritating failure from earlier and snorted, "It seems fate wants us to meet again, Uzumaki."

Aww shit, here he goes with the fate crap again.

"Yeah yeah, fate this, fate that. You're a broken record man, you really gotta work on your conversational topics." Naruto brushed the Hyuuga off as he ghosted past him, wanting to go speak to Gai-sensei. He never got his assessment from earlier, and he had time to spare before they had to leave for the mission.

Seeing the cloaked blond approach, Gai turned to smile brightly, "Naruto!"

He waved a hand in response, "Yo. Hey Bushy Brow-sensei, you never gave me the assessment from earlier. Think you could do that for me real quick?"

Gai looked over his team before looking back at Naruto, "Of course. Just come with us, we were about to go get something to eat. I'll pay for you as well." Gai-sensei, coolest spandex wearing ninja on the planet. It was completely official.

Naruto was a lot of things, but a fool was not one of them. If free food was being offered, he had to capitalize on the opportunity. It was only right.

Stepping in tow with the rest of them, Naruto spent the walk to a suitable place to eat alternating between encouraging Lee to continually make a fool of himself, playfully antagonizing Tenten, and ignoring Neji's attempts to heckle him. Once again, Orochimaru's education shone through as Naruto utilized a fair bit of psychology in order to fuck with Neji.

Neji came from practically a clan of ninja royalty. Sure he was a branch member, which meant that his station was lower in the clan, but on the outside he was hailed as a genius, a prodigy. When someone is raised with praise like that, it was only natural that their ego was high and they weren't used to being ignored.

Naruto knew firsthand about the ego part, because his ego was the size of a boss summon. He had every right to feel like that, he was trained by one of the legendary Sannin, he was a jinchuuriki, an Uzumaki, and he had a kekkei genkai! He was practically unbeatable! Who was gonna tell him otherwise?

So with what he knew, it was almost child play to push the Hyuuga's buttons by not paying him any attention whatsoever. Judging by the bared teeth and sneers being sent his way, he knew it was working.

Eventually they came to stop at a Korean barbecue joint. Wasting no time, the group sat down and ordered their food.

Once food was ordered, the original team Gai all went off to wash their hands and prepare for the meal per Gai's request. Now that they had a moment or two of privacy, Gai leveled a serious look onto Naruto, "Alright, listen to what I am about to tell you, my boy. I'll highlight your positives and negatives, then tell you what you can do to work on them. Understood?"

Naruto nodded, "Lay it on me."

The older of the two crossed his arms, "Your evasion is top notch for your age. Granted, Tenten isn't the best in close range since her preference is long range support, but your dodging was commendable. Also your speed is worth noticing. Yes, you're quite the physical specimen!" Gai proudly beamed.

"Just keep talking, my ego is getting there." The blond cheekily encouraged as he smiled.

"Your taijutsu itself... I have mixed feelings about it."

Wait, what?

"From what I gathered, your style is based on completely avoiding damage by utilizing your evasive maneuvers and flexibility to their fullest potential. You use your kekkei genkai to easily deal fatal blows when it is your time to strike... It's a very advanced level of taijutsu for a genin."

Okay, that wasn't anything new. Sounded like his style. In fact, it was _exactly_ his style. Pretty accurate.

"However, at your current level, you couldn't beat Neji or Lee." Despite the far from silent atmosphere of the restaurant, a pin could be heard dropping.

The wide eyed look of shock on Naruto's face couldn't have been anymore pronounced, "The hell? Why not?" What could have made him come to this conclusion? Did he not know who he was? He was THE Naruto Uzumaki! There was no contest, what the hell?

"Now don't get me wrong, your taijutsu is on a pretty advanced level for your ranking as a genin. However, without the kekkei genkai enhancing it, it seems to be a little underwhelming. The kick you delivered to Tenten garnered all of its force from the momentum gained from the flips, which didn't even send her that far. Momentum based fighting is wonderful, but yours could be better. " He said with complete seriousness. It wasn't like he was trying to dim the boy's Flames of Youth, because he had plenty. It's just that there's always room for improvement, and he could see that there was improvement needed with Naruto.

He should know, he was Konoha's premier expert when it came to hand to hand.

Naruto wasn't having none of it though, "Wait, wait hold on! You mean to tell me that without my kekkei genkai, my taijutsu isn't enough to beat Lee or Neji?" Taijutsu aficionado or not, he obviously didn't know what the fuck he was talking about.

Naruto has fought chunin level ninja before back when he was with Orochimaru, and beat the brakes off of all of them without his kekkei genkai. So why the hell were two genin out of his league? Fuck Neji being a Hyuuga, and fuck Lee and his spandex and disturbing eyebrows, he could fight them both right now without any trouble!

Gai could see the rising anger coming from the boy and sighed. It was obvious that he wasn't used to criticism, but he needed to hear it since he asked for it.

This next bit was probably going to set him off even further, "Oh no, you misunderstood me. Even with your kekkei genkai, you'd still lose to Neji and Lee. Listen to me without thinking of me as their sensei, but as an experienced jonin."

Naruto's hand slammed on the table, alerting the other patrons of the establishment momentarily before they minded their business, "Oh no, time the hell out! Lee can beat my taijutsu and my kekkei genkai?! Neji too? No, fuck that!" In all honesty, he could see Neji posing some kind of threat due to his clan's taijutsu, but Lee?

Just no.

"Yes, although I admit I may be jumping the gun. Can you answer this question honestly?" Gai asked.

The blond snorted and crossed his arms, "Sure." He agreed with clenched teeth.

Gai heaved a heavy sigh, "Your fight with Tenten. Were you holding back against her?"

"Of course, I didn't want to kill her. I don't wanna kill anybody here that I fight, even that dickhead Neji." He would surely cripple him though.

"Holding back your strength because you believe that you'd end up killing your opponent... so you're that good in your opinion?"

"Of course, there's not a genin alive that can beat me." And he meant that. That was his belief, and he was sticking to it no matter what.

"See, that's where the problem lies, Naruto-kun. You are strong, but you're not _that_ strong. Holding back against Lee would end up with you battered, beaten, and bruised. Holding back against Neji, especially with the extra hostility between you two, would probably end up with you paralyzed." Gai knew the outcome without even having to see it. He's seen Lee's strength, and he's seen Neji's taijutsu in action. Lee's the strongest in terms of physical strength, then Neji, then Naruto.

This was really getting annoying. He hasn't seen like one third of his actual ability, so what gave him the right to pass judgement like this?

"How about this, Gai-sensei? When I get back from my mission, I'll take on Lee and Neji, just to prove you wrong. I won't hold back, I'll go at them with the intent to kill since I can't apparently beat them without lethal force." He wouldn't kill Lee purposely, but if Neji couldn't hang then that was his fault.

Gai sighed yet again. Explaining wasn't really his strong point. The gist of what he was trying to say was that Naruto wouldn't win because his ego was too swollen. He basically had a superiority complex, and it was clear to see from his reaction to Gai's declaration.

There was nothing wrong with having pride in one's skills, it was actually a good thing. But Naruto's ego was up there. Gai didn't know how the jinchuuriki's upbringing was, but apparently being humble wasn't a vital part of that upbringing.

His ego, if left unchecked, could probably cause him to bite off more than he could chew in his future endeavors...

Beating around the bush wasn't the youthful approach to the situation, so he might as well just lay all of the cards on the table, "Naruto-kun. You are a skilled shinobi, but your ego is the problem. You have to curb it a bit, it's causing you to look down on others in a sense." Gai tried to explain.

Scowling, Naruto thumbed in the direction of where Neji and pals went to go wash up, "So first you say I can't beat Neji and Lee, then you say I look down on others? Do I look like Neji to you or something?"

Gai pinched the bridge of his nose. Trying to convey his point to Naruto was like talking to a brick wall. This wasn't youthful at all. He would've cleaned his statement up in attempt to get Naruto to understand, but the arrival of his team brought Naruto's attention to them, his scowl lightening up once his gaze met Tenten's. He spared her and Lee warm smiles, while giving Neji the most spirited middle finger Gai has ever seen.

Well, trying to help lower Naruto's ego could wait. Food was the priority right now.

"I see that you're lacking enough brain cells to communicate properly, so you have to use your fingers instead."

"Step outside, dickhead!"

... The other priority was probably preventing those two from trying to murder each other.

X.X.X.

(Flashback End)

What did he know, anyway? He hadn't seen Naruto in actual action.

But then again, one didn't take the word of an expert in a particular field lightly. The man was the taijutsu expert of Konoha for a reason after all.

Maybe he could try to figure out what he's lacking... but how would he go about that? Especially now, since he had a mission to complete, not to mention the off the record mission that they had as well.

Hmm, maybe he could use the unofficial mission as a test of sorts. Yeah, a test to see just how good his taijutsu is without the kekkei genkai supplementing it. Sounded like a perfect idea, so he'd roll with it.

"Alright, are you guys ready to go? It shouldn't take long to get there if we book it from the start." The sensei of Team Ten stated coolly as he looked past the village gates. There wasn't anything worth looking at on the surface besides a bunch of rain and whatnot, but he knew that there was something concerning out there coming to them.

He just hoped that he could keep Tayuya and Naruto out of Orochimaru's clutches. The snake wasn't a fool, and he wasn't crazy enough to send anyone weak to come collect those two. So taking the mission lightly, even if it was a C ranked mission, was a definite no go this time around.

"I'm ready."

"Let's fucking go, I don't wanna stand around in the damn rain for the rest of the evening and night!"

"Is it too late to go home?"

Two simultaneous smacks to the back of Shikamaru's head gave him the physical answer to the rhetorical question he asked.

"Troublesome."

X.X.X.

(Later On That Night, Bandit Camp)

"Oi, where's the fucking sake?!" A gruff voice shouted as he sauntered into the camp. Wearing clothes that could be best described as rags in desperate need of a washing, the rowdy looking individual wiped some of the rain from his face as he looked at all of the different tents. Jolly sounds of delinquent merry making sounded throughout the camp.

The rain and thunder wasn't stopping the party, it seemed.

The bandit reached a tent larger than the others. Peeling back the flap to enter, he was greeted by the sight of several other bandits gambling, drinking themselves stupid, and standing over a couple of tied up girls in the far back. Seems like the latest raid was pretty successful.

Roughly planting a hand on the nearest ruffian he could find, he turned the obviously drunk lad around, "Oi, did we get any sake from the raid?" Everyone else seemed to be getting their jollies, so it was time for him to get in his zone.

The drunk slurred his words, "Yeah man, we also got some bitches! Go get you some drink then go get some pussy! I know I'll be getting some!"

Sounded pretty cool. He was mainly in the mood for the drink, but if there was some sex in the mix, then who was he to turn down a blessing?

"Point me in the direction of the sake." They both ignored the sounds of moaning, screaming, crying, and cheers from further within the tent.

With a grandiose swing of his arms, the jovial one pointed to the right, "Its in the tent over there, the bitches too! Boy, I just might take a stroll over there myself!"

Finally, time to get on cloud nine! He wasted no time in leaving that tent. Once he reached his destination, the bandit almost had to stop and take a deep breath at the sight. Cases after cases of high quality sake, all here for the taking.

Oh yeah, and the girls as well. Poor things, tied up and bound all for his pleasure.

It's a good thing that they listened to that quiet guy that drifts in and out of their little circle, otherwise they would've never thought to settle down beside a tourist town. It was a really smart move since the town nearby had stockpiles of the various goods they wanted. Plus a lot of snooty rich nobles came through to enjoy the festivities as well, so it was easy to snatch a daughter, mother, aunt or several every run. Due to it being far out from Konoha and not being an actual part of it, there was little to no threat of any shinobi trying to shut them down either. The rare shinobi that popped up every now and then was usually dealt with before they could become a pest.

Some say it was due to the quiet guy, others say it was due to their leader.

Who knew, who cared?

The only thing that mattered at the moment was his sake. Reaching for a bottle, he didn't notice the seemingly slumped, hooded figure sitting on a case right beside him. It wasn't important enough to anyway, it was probably another drunken fool trying to sleep. The rain outside hitting the tent did sound nice to fall asleep to.

He didn't notice the unconscious guy mixed in with the tied up girls either.

Finally, he had his bottle of heaven! This is what was gonna make his night!

Too bad he couldn't move his other arm to pop the top. Or his arm holding the sake itself for that matter. He couldn't move his neck either. What the hell, nothing was responding!

"You should really check your surroundings more often, otherwise you run the risk of pesky folks like me sneaking about and getting the drop on you." The previously slumped figure said as he stood up to mimic the bandit's stance, "I'd ask for your name, but you're not important enough for all of that. Let's go for a walk instead so we can talk without anything troublesome happening." And with that being said, the bandit looked on in pure horror as the mystery person casually strolled out of the tent with him following by his side, mimicking his exact movements. The two left the camp without a fuss.

"Wh-what the fuck is going on?! Why can't I control my body?" He had a perfect reason to be scared. It wasn't every day when somebody kid sized comes out of nowhere, basically robs you of your own free will, and kidnaps you.

"Shh, I can't tell the secret." The boy replied nonchalantly as the continued to advance further into the forest, away from the bandit camp. Eventually they came to a small clearing with a tree turned over on the edge, where three more bandits were just standing around, their arms and legs bound.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" He didn't notice the subtle playing of a flute.

None of the three answered him, seemingly in a trance. They just continued to stand there in lala land.

"Good, another test subject! You and Tayuya-chan are really good at being indirect with stuff like this." A voice from above complimented, preceding the arrival of another pint sized figure dropping from a tree in front of the pair. This one had a black cloak on, probably to keep the rain away.

"It was better than your idea of running in there slaughtering anything that moved, we wouldn't have learned anything about them. You know, if there's anymore camps around, what's their goals..." The slightly taller kidnapper stated dryly, still keeping the bandit from moving freely.

Shit, these kids were trying to interrogate him!

Wait, what was he getting scared for? These were kids, he was the adult, so there's no way that he could be intimidated into spilling the beans. All he had to do was regain control over his body, filet these kids, and go back to camp to get down with the good stuff.

Sounded easy enough.

"Shika, go ahead and kick it off."

That didn't sound too good.

Shikamaru turned to the poor bastard, said bastard doing a perfect imitation of Shikamaru's movements, "We're gonna try to be nice about this. Tell us what we want to know, make yourself scarce from this area, and you don't even have to get hurt."

Even in the rain, it was still easy for the thug to break a sweat due to the calmness of Shikamaru's words. There wasn't any malice, any threatening tone, nothing there at all. Just pure detachment.

He honestly perffered the detached kid with complete control over his body instead of the blond with the blue eyes smiling creepily at him.

He nervously swallowed. His earlier plan didn't seem to have a high possibility of happening anymore, "And if I don't?"

"Then we get to fast forward to the part where we break you down, kill you, then move onto the next one of your friends until we find out what we want. Please pick option two, I'm trying to see how good I am at torture and interrogation." The evil looking blond eagerly stated as he rubbed his hands.

"Fuck both of you! You don't scare me!" He was really lying, but if word got out that he let some punks bitch him out, he'd never live it down.

Shikamaru and Naruto looked at each other before nodding.

"Alright Shikamaru, let him go."

Shikamaru shook his head however, walking over to the fallen tree along with their future victim. Shikamaru ended up on the lower side of the tree while the nervous banded stood in front of the part where the tree split, specifically the part higher than Shikamaru's.

"Hey Naruto, lets have a bit of fun with this..."

Naruto strolled around the fallen tree to stand in front of Shikamaru, curious about his proposition, "I'm down, what is it?"

"Simple, we're gonna pretend the other is royalty. What do you do in the presence of royalty?"

"Remind them that all the money in the world won't save them from getting their shit pushed in if they get out of hand?"

Shikamaru smacked his forehead, causing the bandit to do the same, "No, idiot. People usually bow..."

Naruto's eyes widened as a downright devious grin crept across his face, "And people eager to kiss up to the rich and wealthy love bowing aggressively!" He had to give it to Shikamaru, he didn't expect him to come up with something like this. Maybe hanging out with Shikamaru was letting him pick up on some of his sadistic tendencies.

The two shared mischievous grins before Shikamaru turned to the scared bandit, "Last chance to give us what we want to know. Tell us about your numbers, any ninjas you have with you, location of all of your money, and anything else you find important."

Oh shit! Whatever they were planning to do didn't sound too good if those evil smiles were any indicator. Should he come clean and rat the rest of them out?

It was his ass or everyone else's ass, and quite frankly he liked his ass a lot more then he liked their asses.

One of the bandits finally snapped out of their delirium and caught on to what was happening, "If you rat us out, I'll find every woman in your family and fuck them to death, right after I get you!" Judging by how this was easily the biggest person in the clearing with the largest intimidation factor that wasn't a ninja, he wasn't playing around.

He also didn't know if he was going to get got in the murder sense or in the sense that his female family members would get got.

... On second thought, shutting up sounded a lot more appealing. He wasn't some savage fool with testosterone for brains, he was just a common lowlife who wanted to drink his life away. Maybe just letting these kids do whatever they were gonna do was the lesser of two evils.

It didn't look like he wanted to speak anymore, so Naruto turned to the bound thug who threatened such a thing with an eerily blank face. No furrowed brows, no bared teeth, not a hint of anger or disgust present, "I'm gonna have a good time with you."

"Untie me and we can get this party going, kid." The sleazy adult offered with a disgusting sneer.

"After we bow until we catch whiplash." The blond turned back to Shikamaru with the dastardly smile coming back to regain its place on his face, "How do you do, my good sir?"

And with that being said, the clearing erupted into pained screams, the sounds of flesh repeatedly striking a wet wooden surface with force, and harsh sounding questions and commands.

These were the sounds that garnered Tayuya's attention, causing her to pause in her flute playing from her elevated position on a tree branch, "What the fuck? I thought they were supposed to be interrogating down there, not making a bunch of damn noises..."

"Give it up!"

"No!" Was the response followed by another round of wet wood smacking.

Those sounds were kind of off putting...

"Nara-dono!"

"Uzumaki-dono."

More wet smacking.

"Keep hitting that spot, I think he likes it!"

"He might not be able to take much more at this point..."

Tayuya froze. They couldn't be down there doing what it sounded like.

Could they?

She heard some whimpering come from the forest floor, followed by another collection of statements statement that just sounded so damn wrong.

"Ow, fuck that hurts!"

"You're just gonna have to keep taking it until you give us what we want."

"We might need to get a little rougher... go faster and harder! I want him to feel it in his soul so he can beg us to stop!"

Aww shit, her teammates were butt buddies! Its official! Teasing them to holy hell could wait though, they needed to clear out this camp first.

Ignoring the hardcore pounding from down below, Tayuya wondered what Asuma-sensei was up to. He hung back and stayed in the village in case of another bandit attack, and also to ask around for more details. As of now they were in recon mode, well they were supposed to be. Naruto and Shikamaru seemed to be having a little extra fun down there.

"Go faster Shika!" Naruto commanded as the smacking sounds got even faster.

"If I go any faster, he might be done for completely. Ugh, this is a lot of troublesome work."

Yeah, they were gonna catch hell after this.

X.X.X.

(In Town, With Asuma)

Was being a responsible jonin sensei required of Asuma?

Yes.

Did he need to hold his kids' hands their whole lives?

No.

So with that in mind, telling them to go off and perform a little recon on a bandit camp wasn't too unreasonable. It wasn't too reckless. Naruto and Tayuya could handle themselves and watch Shikamaru's back, no biggie.

Now he could get a drink and smoke a cig or six, he's been missing his nicotine fix all day due to the rain. Stepping into a local bar, he noticed the atmosphere instantly change. The slightly jovial, yet paranoid air transformed into downright fear the moment a fair share of the patrons there caught wind of his headband insignia.

"Aw shit, it's another ninja." A voice in the background hissed.

"We're screwed!"

"Hide your kids, hide your wives!"

The bartender spared the jonin a wary glance, "We don't want any trouble, now. Please, just take what you want and leave us be."

Asuma noticed the fearful stares directed his way before scratching his beard in a puzzled manner, "So, there's been another ninja coming through here and terrorizing y'all?" This was something of concern. It was supposed to be a simple bandit camp extermination, and leave it to them to have a ninja amongst their ranks.

"Yeah, he had the same kind of headband you had! Only difference is he had a slash through the little symbol thingy." A random guy in the back yelled as he fearfully clutched his glass.

A slash, huh? Well, they had a rogue on their hands. Asuma pulled a cigarette out and lit it up as he stopped in front of the bartender, "Don't worry, I'm not with that guy. The slash means he's no longer a part of the village."

"So basically, he's a rogue?"

"Pretty much. His actions don't represent Konoha anymore because of the slash." Asuma answered as he took a drag from his cigarette, "Now then, I need some info. How often have you seen this ninja around here?" He asked, forgoing his original plan of getting a drink. Getting a little buzzed before laying waste to a group of bandits was cool, but with a ninja running around it wasn't too advised.

The bartender slid him a tall drink anyway as he recalled the instances where the rogue shinobi struck, "Hmmm, well every time that there's a raid, he shows up. At first, the raids went on and on without any retaliation from the town because those people are just downright terrifying. They have no morals."

Another guy chimed in, "Yeah, but then eventually we realized that they're humans, just like us. They bleed the same blood, so we decided to fight back. Some of us even had training from the Konoha academy, but those guys didn't make the cut so they just drifted about before ending up here."

That made sense. It was for the most part an even playing field. Those bandits didn't pack any major firepower, and neither did the common townsfolk.

The bartender resumed the tale, "But then shit changed." He grumpily sighed, "They noticed that they were losing a lot of men, so what did they do? They sicced that... demon on us. Who knows what they're paying him, whatever fucked up things he could do, he does it."

This had Asuma's interest, "Name some things for me, if you don't mind." He needed to know what he was up against.

The bartender held out his hand to begin counting on his fingers, "Let's see. For starters, he's the one that's always kidnapping the women from here. He just appears, snatches two to five at a time, then disappears. Then he burned down two shops on the other side of town with the shop owners and customers inside because one of them managed to see his face and told the other."

An arsonist. A kidnapper. This was sounding more and more troublesome by the minute, "So his actual appearance isn't common knowledge?" Had to give him points, he couldn't be singled out for what he's done because nobody knew what the guy looked like.

"Nope, wears solid black outfits and masks every time. The two people who knew how he looked are a pile of ashes at this point."

Well then, this just got difficult.

Another customer in the bar raised his glass towards Asuma as he glared suspiciously at the jonin, "So are you here to do something about it, or are you actually him in disguise?" Silence reigned supreme within the bar until the bartender chucked a dirty glass directly at the guy.

"You drunk idiot, we just said that the other guy has a slash on his headband, he doesn't!"

Whew. Thank Kami that somebody in the bar was keeping track of the conversation. It would make things even harder if everyone suddenly turned on him due to one guy.

Sparing the now bleeding man no attention, he turned to address the rest of the bar, "Don't worry, guys. Me and my team are gonna handle this situation as quickly as possible." Now that he knew that there was a ninja skulking around in the shadows, they definitely had to go hard during the mission.

He turned around back to the bar to take a swig, seemingly not noticing the observant gaze being placed on him. He did notice the bartender ask him a question though, "So where's your team?"

"They're supposed to be at the bandit camp as we speak." A inconspicuous figure left the bar.

Asuma smiled, that just made things a whole lot easier. Quickly paying for his drink, he left the bar in search of his target, only to click his teeth in frustration once he noticed the rather sizable crowd outside of the drinking establishment. A large crowd provided a prime opportunity for someone to slip away undetected if they were being chased by the average joe.

Too bad that Asuma wasn't the average joe. As he took to the rooftops, he began to scan the crowd, ignoring the rain that seemed to be getting heavier. Mother nature couldn't slow him down with a mere downpour, he was too good for that.

Moving from roof to roof, he noticed that nobody was noticing him hop across the tops of the various buildings, probably due to the citizens being in a rush to get where they needed to get and out of the rain. This guy was pretty good at blending in. Smart move to walk around out of his ninja attire to not draw suspicion to himself.

But luck has to run out eventually. His luck ran out due to him foolishly looking up at Asuma, his eyes narrowing before he took off through the crowd. Unaware pedestrians found themselves toppled over from the shinobi's sudden charge. Eventually he took to the rooftops as well, throwing down a smoke bomb once Asuma caught up to him. Three copies of the ninja ran out of the smoke in an attempt to splinter off and shake Asuma.

Seeing the kind of game that was being played, the bearded jonin just shrugged his shoulders and high tailed it in the opposite direction. There was no need to chase him, they'd end up at the same place anyway.

As he hopped away, his shinobi sixth sense screamed at him to duck.

He didn't need to be told twice. With practiced smoothness, the jonin immediately hit the deck as a bolt of lightning tried to erase the back of his head. The bolt continued to travel until it demolished a nearby rooftop. The static electricity had the hairs on his neck standing on end.

Once again, his instincts told him to move. He pushed off of the ground to the side, narrowly avoiding a kunai being stabbed into his neck. Landing on the edge of the roof in a crouched position, he was pleasantly surprised to see his original target glaring at him through a mask that wasn't there previously.

So he wanted a fight after all, huh?

Despite almost being killed just a moment ago, there wasn't a sign of fear present on Asuma's face as he pulled another cigarette out to smoke, "So," He started rather conversationally after he exhaled some smoke, "How's it going, you know, being a bandit and all?" He didn't bother to move out of his crouched position either.

His opponent lowered himself into a combat ready stance.

"Not very talkative, are you?"

He started flashing through hand seals.

"Silent treatment, eh?"

He ended on a seal that was usually seen in lightning techniques, "Raiton: Jibashi (Lightning Release: Electromagnetic Murder)!" His outstretched hands shot a rather potent wave of lightning towards the still smoking jonin who held up his own hand seal.

"Fūton: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)." A massive surge of wind emanated from Asuma as it clashed with the lightning jutsu, dispelling the potentially deadly technique with ease.

Asuma took a long drag, "So you're a lightning user... bad luck for you that I'm something of a wind savant. Got anything else?" Being laid back in this little battle seemed to be pissing the rogue off. Good, the more agitated he got, the easier it was for him to slip up.

The rogue drew a elongated kunai from behind, prompting Asuma to chuckle and clap his hands, "Oh man, you really drew the short stick today." He chuckled as he pulled out his trench knives, "I'm a close range specialist too! When it rains, it pours for you, man."

The still ongoing rain combined with the mask hid the nervous bead of sweat that trailed down the rogue's forehead. Shit, just who was this guy?

Wait a second, he did look pretty familiar...

"Is your name Asuma?" He asked, finally speaking for the first time. He didn't dare to lower his guard.

Taking his final drag before his cig got too soggy, Asuma casually flicked the still burning cigarette at his opponent to agitate him even further. Judging by the furious growl that came from him, his gambit was successful, "Yeah, I'm famous? I thought I'd be the opposite since I was one of the Guardians." They stayed low-key for their operations so as to not attract attention to themselves.

"Everybody knows that the third Hokage had a son." The rogue snarled.

Oh yeah, he forgot that he was well known for that alone. Then this guy was from Konoha as well, so he'd probably seen him a couple of times.

"The third Hokage's son, who got everything he ever wanted. All the attention, all the glory... even the prettiest girl in the village."

"Huh?" Was Asuma's smart reply.

"Kurenai! You took her from me!" After his rage induced yell, he charged forward with the intent to kill this asshole.

Idiot.

Asuma stood on the opposite side of the roof with his arm extended from a sudden punch. The blood left on his blade from his attack got washed away by the rain, right before the sound of a body falling behind him reached his ears, "Well then, that was quicker than expected."

A smaller thud sounded out as well, prompting the jonin to turn around and look at the now decapitated head leaking blood all over the roof. Poor guy.

He was doing good until he started to let Asuma get to him with his aggravation tactics. Then once that little random outburst of jealous rage came out, it was clear that the anger was throwing his game off. The guy was probably chunin level at best, so it wasn't too hard for Asuma to just dash forward and remove his head from his shoulders.

Now that that was taken care of, he needed to get to the camp and give the kids the go to wipe the rest of them out. Plus the other threat of whoever Orochimaru sent was still there...

Hopefully shit didn't go sour without him being there.

X.X.X.

(With Sakon and Jirobo)

"Naruto has gotten pretty weird, don't you think?" Jirobo observed as said weirdo and his teammate terrorized the bandits that they had through various methods. Methods that involved making them head butt trees, making them cut themselves with knives, and inserting Naruto's bones into areas where joints were located.

They purged the horrifying sight of Naruto castrating the biggest one there from their memories. The fact that he committed such an act with no emotion whatsoever was also disturbing.

Sakon shrugged his shoulders. The brat has always been weird, "Doesn't matter. What matters is snatching Tayuya right now." Their objective was to bring Tayuya back alive at any costs. Naruto wasn't a necessity despite what he was, simply because of how important he was and who he was.

He'd already been taken away from his home before, so if he wound up missing again, Konoha would be up in arms looking particularly for any sign of anything Orochimaru related.

It wasn't the smartest move to make at this point in time. So they'd focus on the less important one. Well, she was important to them, but not Konoha. Why would they care about some orphan girl being taken? She wasn't even from Konoha to begin with.

Crossing his arms, Jirobo looked at his crouching partner as they watched their enemies, "So, when are we gonna move?" The two heard familiar melodies being played from somewhere close.

Sakon hungrily grinned, "Think you can distract Naruto long enough for me to go find her?"

Jirobo's curse mark rapidly spreading across his body was all the answer he needed. The triangular arrows glowed a firey color before they completely settled, leaving the now black markings all over his being.

"Good, time for me to go find our resi-."

"MOVE!" Jirobo yelled as he tackled Sakon off of the branch. It was a good thing he did, because a split second later a speeding black figure ascended directly into the air in front of the branch before pointing at their previous location, "Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift)!"

Their previous position on the branch almost separated from the tree due to the branch being almost annihilated by countless fragments of wind enhanced bones.

During their freefall, the two righted themselves in mid-air and stuck to nearby trees. Sakon's eyes bugged out at the sight of the branch due to Naruto standing on the part that was still relatively safe. The brat was holding his arm with a bunch of bones jutting out of it while smiling, "Long time, no see guys!"

"Oi, what the fuck was that?!" Clearly that technique was meant to kill, and not in a clean way either.

"I made a couple of jutsu! Did you like it?"

Leave it to Naruto to just ignore the previous atmosphere and ask a friendly question like they weren't about to kill each other.

Jirobo glared at the blond before looking down at the forest floor, noticing that the other kid down there was currently missing. Bad things happened when ninjas went missing in the middle of fights, especially life or death ones. With enough strength to dent the _whole_ tree that he was on, Jirobo rocketed towards the ground, hands up in a hammer like position, "You can't hide from me, brat!"

The following collison between Jirobo's fists and the wet forest floor was not a pretty one. The tremendous force behind it tore the ground asunder, sending freshly made boulders and trees flying about.

If Naruto's opening move was spectacular, Jirobo's was downright breathtaking.

Naruto, Sakon, and even Tayuya had to relocate quickly in order to avoid falling all the way to the ground, the trees that they were using deciding that they couldn't stay up any longer.

Jirobo emerged from his new crater, looking around for any sign of a corpse. Judging by the sounds of maniacal laughter from above, Naruto was still alive and probably hunting Sakon down.

The distraction provided by Naruto's laughter was all Shikamaru needed to complete his sneak attack, "Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Possession Jutsu)." Under the cover of a couple of fallen trees, Shikamaru sent his shadow out to capture Jirobo, making sure to keep his shadow out of an obvious line of sight.

It caught Jirobo, who noticed that there was a bit of restriction in his movement, "Crap, he got me." A surge of potent, foul chakra broke the hold almost immediately, terrifying Shikamaru once he noticed Jirobo follow the trail of the shadow back to it's orgins.

Even though Jirobo couldn't clearly see Shikamaru, the Nara felt his heart drop to his stomach when the two momentarily locked eyes, Jirobo grinning in a way that promised pain for Shikamaru.

"Gotcha."

Another devastating punch turned that area into a crater.

Jirobo looked around for a corpse yet again while surveying his handiwork, only to frown once he felt the restriction of his movement again, "This shadow won't hold an elite of Orochimaru!" Releasing even more of the foul chakra, Jirobo let out a mighty roar before chuckling to himself, "Is that all you have?"

Yet another tug on his shadow grabbed his attention, yet this time his shadow rippled, as though it were water. This was the precursor to what appeared to be countless black droplets of water shooting up into him. He covered his vitals and face the moment he felt several of the droplets pierce his skin.

Shit, these could have killed him if he didn't cover up. One stray one to an artery or his eyes and that could've been it. So this one had less of a brute force approach and more of a precision based style. It was pretty deadly.

Still though, it wasn't enough against the might of Jirobo. Even though he he was riddled with numerous puncture wounds that were currently weeping blood, he flashed a savage grin as he saw the shadow recede back to it's origin again, "I'll eat you alive! Doton Kekkai: Dorō Dōmu (Earth Release Barrier: Earth Prison of Magnificent Nothingness)!" Making sure to pump a bit of extra chakra into his jutsu so that it could be larger, Jirobo couldn't help but heartily laugh once a large earthen dome encapsulated the area in front of him, particularly where he saw the shadow recede. His laughter was due to the presence that he registered within once he placed his hand on the dome, "I guess Konoha trash aren't good enough to die with honor while fighting a superior opponent. Don't worry, you'll be useful in a special way before you die."

His chakra absorption began to kick in, his reserves steadily replenishing.

"You'll be my food! A man's gotta eat, after all!" He said, completely ignoring the fact that he was only fourteen. He decided to savor the moment and drain his opponent's chakra extra slow. Based off of the shadow shenanigans, he wasn't one capable of punching a hole through this. Even if he managed to do some damage, it would be for naught since the dome would repair itself immediately.

So what could he do to pass the time?

Taunt the trash, of course.

"I'll give you credit, that shadow move was pretty good. If I didn't cover up, I'd be pretty messed up right now." He sped up the chakra absorption, noticing the reserves of his opponent get dangerously low, "But all good things come to an end. Your reserves are pretty low, kid. Too bad you drew the short stick today. Going up against an elite like me with the power to take chakra is your worst match up."

Feeling that he finally sucked away all of the chakra, Jirobo chuckled and allowed the dome to fall. He frowned immediately once he realized there was no body present. Where was this kid?!

It wasn't like he went underground, because then there would be evidence of that. There was no possible way he could've escaped!

If only it weren't raining, he would have noticed a left over puddle from the remains of a Mizu Bushin no Jutsu (Water Clone Technique).

He felt a kunai lodge itself into his back, "Wha-what the fuck?" He rushed hurriedly to remove the tag.

But was it quick enough?

The Uzumaki styled exploding tag erupted with extreme prejudice, drowning out Jirobo's final scream of pain. Shikamaru, visibly panting, looked at the massive explosion from a safe distance. That fight took a lot out of him.

The big guy's first attack honestly caught him off guard and sent him straight to the ground. Whether it was dumb luck or divine intervention, he managed to not get crushed by the falling trees, rocks, and debris.

A lucky Kawarimi (Body Replacement Jutsu) saved him from getting demolished from that punch once he was found out. Damn shadow leaving a trail, he'd have to find a way to make it less conspicuous in the future.

At least he survived the fight. If he didn't make the decision to use that clone, he didn't know how the fight would have went. At least his gambit of the rain preventing the fat guy from noticing his misdirection with clones. An added bonus was that he got to test out his Andāwārudo no Torento (Underworld's Torrent).

"Nice try!"

A solid fist cracked Shikamaru dead in the back, sending the Nara flying. Rolling through the messed up earth and mud, Shikamaru eventually came to a stop clutching his back. He was pretty sure that there was a cracked bone or two.

Jirobo landed in front of the downed genin with a glare on his face, "You almost got me... luckily I was able to Kawarimi (Body Replacement Jutsu) with a log at the last second once I pulled it out." He usually wasn't the quickest one out of the group, but getting impaled with a thrown weapon was a quick way to focus on that pain and how to rectify that situation immediately.

Through clenched teeth, Shikamaru let out a pained grunt as he tried to flash through some hand seals. Jirobo booted him in the face to prevent that before picking the boy up by his head. Palming his head like a ball, Jirobo sneered at the Nara, "Any last words before I crush your head like a grape?" It just was a bad day for this brat. He wasn't a straight up combatant, couldn't take a hit, and he didn't have a lot of chakra. That was one of the worst skill sets to have when fighting Jirobo, because the guy was a behemoth of a power house. There wasn't much that could get in his way, he was too strong.

How could you trap him when he could simply power his way out? The answer was simple.

You couldn't.

Shikamaru's hands twitched and went behind his back, prompting Jirobo to drive a strong fist into his stomach. Coughing up blood, Shikamaru let out another pained grunt as he kicked at Jirobo. The flimsy foot collided with his stomach, but with Jirobo's bulk the attack could be akin to an academy student punching a brick wall.

It slipped the orange haired behemoth's notice when their shadows remained connected, even after Shikamaru's foot returned back to his person.

"Alright brat, I'll give you a pity plea." Jirobo said as he continued to hold Shikamaru by the head.

"...Pity plea? You're gonna give me a chance to beg for my life and eventually let me go, wanting me to come back stronger for a rematch?"

Jirobo snorted, "Hell no! You get to pick how you want to die."

He got to pick how he died?

Jirobo couldn't see the sinister glint in Shikamaru's eyes due to his hand covering the top of his head. He could work with this.

As a matter of fact...

"Death by strangulation sounds pretty cool." Shikamaru said calmly, his mind preparing for his final gambit.

He wanted to get choked to death? That was pretty odd. Oh well, no skin off of his back.

"Time to die, trash. Always remember that Jirobo from the Sound Four was the one that sent you to hell." With that said, Jirobo wrapped both of his hands around Shikamaru's neck and applied pressure.

Good, this is exactly what Shikamaru wanted. Well, not being deprived of oxygen, going without oxygen was too troublesome when you wanted to live.

No, what he really wanted was Jirobo's dangerous hands to be completely occupied.

"Andāwārudo no Torento (Underworld's Torrent!" Unlike last time, Jirobo didn't have the luxury of covering up anything vital to his survival. The black water droplets travelled unimpeded into his face, neck, chest, stomach, pretty much everywhere. The pain caused him to attempt to forgo the strangulation and just snap the little shit's neck, but a stray droplet pierced a key point in his arm, rendering it useless.

Lady Luck just happened to be on Shikamaru's side tonight.

With nowhere else to go but down, Shikamaru fell straight to the ground, staring at the still standing Jirobo. His body has seen better days, as he was literally full of holes and bleeding passionately all over.

"Why the hell won't you fall over?"

The weakest of the Sound Four finally succumbed to his fatal wounds, falling over backwards once Shikamaru's shadow separated from his.

"... Thank Kami. I would've been done for." Heavily breathing from all the chakra he spent, the victor of the fight just fell back as well, deciding to let the rain fall onto his person. Common sense would've told him to keep on pushing and make sure that his teammates were okay, but his Nara genes were screaming for one particular thing.

A nap.

He laid there with closed eyes, not caring about being soaked in rain nor laying in mud. Closing his eyes and trying to forget the world for a couple of minutes was just so damn therapeutic.

"Really? Get your lazy ass up, we still got another one running around." Asuma dryly commanded as he stood over the Nara. He surveyed the now demolished landscape, proud of Shikamaru surviving whatever was able to do this.

"Do I have to? I'm pretty sure you, Naruto, and Tayuya can handle it." Shikamaru whined. He really didn't feel like moving, he was low on chakra, and his face and back ached something fierce.

"You're really content with just laying here in the dark, while it's all rainy and muddy?" This kid couldn't be this lazy, especially in the middle of the mission.

"Sensei, what's my last name?"

"Nara..."

Shikamaru clicked his teeth and smirked as he pointed up at Asuma, "You have your answer then." With his piece spoken, he closed his eyes and tried to drift off.

Asuma's eyebrow rapidly twitched before he shrugged his shoulders. Damn Nara genetics and their laziness. He knew that Shikamaru wasn't probably gonna budge from this spot unless he was in life threatening danger, and since Tayuya's role in the plan was to go towards the bandit camp once Orochimaru's goons show up, the fight for the most part would be in a completely different area.

She was supposed to head over there while drawing their attention so that in the event that they didn't get rid of everybody in the camp beforehand, like now, they'd take the fight over there and demolish the camp while trying to either subdue or kill the enemy. Kill two birds with one stone, as they say.

Asuma gave Shikamaru one last dry glance before hopping away to go catch up to Naruto and Tayuya. It seemed that these guys weren't slouches after all if Shikamaru, the only one on the team with jutsu meant to purposely restrain someone, had to just flat out kill the guy to stay alive. Hopefully, they could at least capture the other one so that they could study his cursed seal.

X.X.X.

(With Sakon, Naruto, and Tayuya. Oh yeah, and the poor bandits.)

"Why the fuck are you faster?!" Sakon snarled as he chased Naruto and Tayuya through the rest of the forest that was still somewhat standing. Various amounts of debris from the other section of the former forest came this way and decided to mess this area up a bit as well.

"Same reason why you're questions got dumber, dumb ass! It's only natural to progress in what you're good at!" Tayuya cheekily replied, hopping from branch to branch before she and Naruto emerged from the woods. The bandit camp was in sight, and it didn't look too good for them. Chaos reigned throughout the camp as countless bandits we're trying to either run away, steal some booze or some girls, or a combination of both.

...And a large cloud of smoke suddenly enveloped the blundering bandits. It was a bit too convenient that they happened to all grouped together.

Sakon noticed the sizable smoke cloud as he came out of the woods in hot pursuit, "What the hell is with that smoke?"

All three of the teens heard a sharp click go off before the smoke cloud ignited and a massive explosion ripped through the camp. Bodies, debris, and weapons flew away from the epicenter at speed, turning the once chaotic bandit camp into a smoldering graveyard.

Sakon was at a loss for words before he shook his shock away and continued to look for his targets. He should have been paying attention to his surroundings better so that he would've noticed the dozens of Narutos rushing his position from behind. One leaped at his head, a punch primed to destroy him directly in the base of his neck.

The grey haired teen simply turned his body with speed, driving an elbow directly into the sneak attacker's chest. He was rewarded with a cloud of smoke signifying the clone dispelling. Three more Narutos took advantage of the smokescreen by rushing forward in a blitz attempt.

Sakon merely scoffed as he brutally attacked each clone, dispelling them all, "Is that all you got, Naruto? You've gotten soft on me! Where's the bones of death? That killer instinct?" More clones came at him, yet he didn't falter in his taunting nor did he back down from the oncoming rush.

"I see... you're taking this too lightly. You always did have your head too far up your ass. Tarensenpu (Multiple Connected Whirlwinds)!" Sakon simply stuck a leg out and began to spin it so fast that a concerning whirlwind picked up, demolishing that side of the camp and anything in front of him. Once the dust cleared, one last Naruto was visible coming from behind what appeared to be a skeletal hand emerging from the ground.

So the brat learned new tricks, huh? Didn't matter, Sakon was the strongest out of the Sound Four for a reason, "New tricks, I see!"

Naruto nodded proudly as he patted one of the fingers, channeling a good amount of chakra in preparation for his next move, "Yeah, you like them? I still got some more to work on, so if you want to see them, you'll need to survive tonight." With his chakra done being channeled, the jinchuuriki smiled cheekily at his opponent.

Sakon lowered himself back into a reactionary stance once that hand started to creak and groan as it began to move, only to feel his eye and eyebrow twitch so fast his face started to itch. Instead of some dangerous technique, the hand just stuck it's middle finger out at the grey haired teen.

He was definitely going to beat the brakes off of the little shit now.

"Enough playing! Fight me!" Sakon charged forward.

"Whatever you say!" Naruto rushed forward.

Even though Naruto had the speed advantage, he slowed his pace in order to clash with Sakon. Both combatants went for kicks that were meant to knock each other's heads off of their shoulders, but stalemated once their legs met with a low thud.

Sakon was the first to break off, lowering himself to the ground in an attempt to sweep Naruto, but Naruto simply leapt into the air in a corkscrew motion. Sakon wasn't deterred by his miss in the slightest as he followed through with his sweep, coming back around with a mean looking hook aimed directly at Naruto's cheek.

The blond put up a guard in mid air in order to negate as much damage as possible, slightly grinning once the blow arrived yet didn't do much other than shove him away.

Or so he thought, because Sakon opened his fist and grabbed a handful of his hair to keep him in place, "Tarenken (Multiple Connected Fists)!" Two more fists seemingly sprouted from Sakon's arm that had a grip on Naruto, both fists bouncing off of Naruto's forehead and throat respectively. The blond was kicked away from the impact, tumbling through the mud before eventually coming to a stop.

You couldn't keep Naruto down for long, and he showed that by hopping back up onto his feet and grinning while coughing up a bit of blood, "Ouch. Going for throats, are we? That's what I'm into! I almost forgot about Ukon, hey buddy!"

The grey haired lump on the back of Sakon's neck twisted around until another head sprouted from Sakon's collarbone, revealing an identical copy of Sakon's face sneering at Naruto, "Shut the hell up, I'm not your buddy!" He then looked at his identical twin, "Quit dicking around, put on your cursed seal, wipe his ass off of the face of the earth, and go get Tayuya! Idiot!"

Sakon grumbled at the admonishing from his brother, begrudgingly activating his cursed mark, "Fine, I just wanted to play around for a bit."

"You always want to play around with trash, now's not the time." Quickly jutting his arms out from his brother's body, Ukon turned his head around to glare behind them as he prevented another Naruto from slapping what appeared to be an explosive tag on the back of their heads. It's a good thing he registered the small amount of killing intent at the last second.

But wait, that didn't look like the regular explosive tag, "New explosive tags, brat?"

The Naruto simply smiled devilishly as he dropped the tag once he activated it, "Uzumaki tags. Twice the boom. _Boom."_

The twins tried their hardest to haul ass from ground zero, but couldn't escape completely. The explosion pushed them away with double the force of an average tag, burning their backs as they flew away. As if that weren't enough, Naruto jumped in front of the identified frying carcass and delivered a forceful kick to the sternum before grabbing Sakon's head, flipping forward repeatedly, and kicking them to the ground.

The twins created a small crater with their landing, which was intensified once Naruto landed feet first onto Ukon's face.

He had to thank Asuma for that little combination later. It hurt like hell when it happened to him, so he was pretty sure that Ukon might be out of commission for a while.

"Ukon!" Sakon yelled in alarm before glaring at the blond still standing on his brother's head. He was livid before just from the attack, but he was seeing red completely after Naruto picked his foot up, bloody bones protruding from the sole of his foot. There was even an mangled eye dangling from it, sheesh.

"Damn it! I cheated! I wasn't supposed to use my kekkei genkai! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" The blond childishly pouted, stomping down on Ukon's fucked up face with each word.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU KILLED UKON! YOU BASTARD!"

Naruto didn't seem to care though, "Oh well, the cat's out of the bag now." Pointing his hands at various joins on Sakon's body, mainly his knees, wrists, and shoulders, several spears of jagged bone shot out and pierced the areas relentlessly before Sakon could even move, crippling the poor boy.

Sakon cried out in unbridled pain and fury as Naruto made it a point to kick his deceased brother in the head one more time before hopping off of Sakon's body, "I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I HOPE THE SHINIGAMI MAKES YOU HIS BITCH IN THE AFTERLIFE!"

"Ukon beat me to having that title. Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace)." Stomping down on the muddy ground, Naruto willed a sizeable skeletal hand to come up from the ground and grab Sakon in a tight grip, leaving him no room at all to move.

"Unofficial mission, complete. Now then, lets see how I'm gonna carry you back... sealing? Nah, I don't know how that would work with a living human." Naruto mused as he strolled over to the captured enemy who was glaring daggers at him, "Hmm, maybe I could try to stick you to my back with chakra?"

"Fuck you and everything you stand for." Sakon cursed the boy weakly, feeling too weak to put up a fight any longer. This was not how the mission was supposed to go, how did they fuck it up this badly? As a matter of fact, where the hell was Tayuya? Its like the minute that explosion took out half of the bandit camp, she disappeared.

Fuck, and now he was captured. Ukon was dead, so there was no switching main bodies so that they could both heal up and try to escape. Then the little shit crippled him so there was no running away.

He didn't know which one was worse, being captured or reporting this back to Orochimaru. Orochimaru would probably kill him. Konoha would drill his brains and weasel every single tidbit of information they could out of him, then kill him.

Yeah, neither one was looking pretty good. When it rained, it poured.

X.X.X.

(Raikage's Office, Kumogakure)

"Shut the hell up with that annoying rapping! I'm trying to read!" A large, dark skinned man roared. He had slicked back platinum blond corn rows, absolutely intimidating muscles, and large gold gauntlets adorning his forearms. He wore baggy black pants, with a large ornate belt one would find om a pro wrestler sitting comfortably around his waist.

His eyebrow was twitching rampantly at the antics of his brother who just wouldn't stop rapping. All he wanted was five minutes of silence so that he could read over this important document. Apparently all of the major villages have finally come to a decision on where to host the Chunin Exams. Yukigakure it seemed.

Doto Kazahana, the leader of this village, asked that all participating villages simply send two of their best in fuuinjutsu ahead so that the second stage could be prepared.

The rapper in the room strolled over to the desk fit for a Kage, "Yo bro, what's the paper about? C'mon, let me know, and I won't rap or shout." He had slicked back blond corn rows as well, black shades, blond goatee, white sleeveless top, navy blue pants, and seven swords holstered on his back. He was a bulky man as well.

The larger of the two looked up at his brother momentarily before sighing, "You'll get the Iron Claw if you rap. Now then, this is word about the upcoming Exams in a couple of months..." He saw the look of elation spread across the swordsman's face and shot him down immediately, "No."

"But come on!"

"No Bee. You're Kumogakure's guardian, you're not supposed to leave. If word of the Eight Tailed Jinchuuriki leaving to go watch the Chunin Exams got out, it wouldn't bode well. So my answer is no."

Bee surprisingly didn't argue any further, which made A look up at him, "If you sneak out, you won't like what I'll do." He knew how Bee operated.

X.X.X

(Sunagkure)

"The Exams are coming up. You three will be my main representatives, even though there will be other genin attending. Show the power of Sunagkure off, especially you Gaara. Do you three understand?"

Emotionless teal eyes stared blankly at the man, before a dry voice answered, "They'll get out of my way, or Mother will have their blood."

X.X.X

(Iwagakure)

"Gramps, we're going to the Exams?"

"Yes, Kurotsuchi. Konoha is going to be there, so we need to see what they have for potential threats."

Kurotsuchi's eyes lit up at that. Konoha might be there? Meaning that there was gonna be a chance for her to kick the shit out of everybody with a leaf headband?

Sign her right up!

"Try not to kill anyone on purpose girl, we're not looking for war at the moment."

X.X.X

(Random Cave, Undisclosed Location)

Nine holographic figures shifted into view on top of a giant statue's fingers.

One figure, who was undoubtedly the most powerful there due to his solid presence, looked at each individual with purple ringed eyes, "The Chunin Exams are coming soon. Sasori, Kakuzu, Zetsu, I trust that you three have found some substantial information regarding the event." The hologram's deep voice stated. The edge in his voice implied that there had _better_ be information available.

The shortest, roundest one addressed spoke up, "From what my spy network has gathered, the Exams are to be held within Yukigakure."

A figure, easily the tallest there, with what appeared to be a giant greatsword chuckled, "Hoh? The Land of Snow, huh? Can we all go watch?"

Another figure with a weapon's silhouette, a three bladed scythe, decided to put his vulgar two cents in, "Why the fuck would we wanna go watch some brats kick the shit out of each other? I thought this was some big scary ass organization, not some playground shit where we all hold hands and go on field trips!"

The taller figure beside the potty mouth with green and red eyes chimed in, his deep voice silencing the previous speaker, "So Leader, what's the plan? You wouldn't be bringing this up if there wasn't something of benefit involved."

"The jinchuuriki are going to be there."

Silence dominated the cavern until the purple eyed leader continued to speak, "It is too early for us to begin hunting them openly, but the fact that this Exam will not be hosted in any of the major villages may be useful to us."

Eyes with the infamous Sharingan in them looked at the leader, "Are we going to attempt to capture one of them? How do you know that they are going to be there?"

A figure with what appeared to be a venus fly trap pointed to itself, "I did it! I've been following courier ninjas through the nation, sneaking into the villages and whatnot. I know for a fact that the One Tails is gonna be there." It proudly proclaimed with a childish inflection.

The leader nodded, "Right now, our main priority is to gather information on them. Justus, skills, move sets. The only problem we have to overcome at this time is who are we sending..."

Christmas eyes raised his hands and thumbed in the direction of the vulgar one, "I vote that Hidan stays away from the event. He'll blow our cover before we even see one of the jinchuuriki."

"Oi, fuck you!"

"I second that motion."

"Yeah, Hidan will botch the whole thing, un."

"Fuck you Deidara, and fuck Kisame too! Fuck all of you!"

"Enough." The leader turned to his side to look at the only female silhouette of the group, then looked at Deidara, "You two will be going."

"Why the fuck do they get to go? Let me go! I wanna slaughter somebody's daughter!"

Kisame looked back and forth between the chosen two, a shark like grin popping up once he pieced it together, "Damn, that's brilliant."

Sasori nodded his head in agreeance, "It really is."

"Oi, will you two take Pain's dick out of your asses and tell me why it's so fucking brilliant for those two to go?"

The woman chosen decided to educate the idiot, "If me and Deidara go, we'll be the most camouflaged. Plus we're the ones with the ability of flight." It was an extremely tactical move. Deidara's jutsu were white in color, Konan's paper jutsu were white. The Land of Snow's climate consisted of, surprise surprise, snow.

They'd have to actively try to be seen if they went there.

"Now onto the matter of capture. _If_ possible, and by possible I mean there is little risk of an all out war being declared on us, you may move to capture one of them. I'd advise you to contact me before you move." He said, leveling his stern gaze onto Deidara. He trusted Konan's judgement, but Deidara was a bit too young and brash for now.

"You two, set out and survey the landscape. Familiarize yourself with the environment, in case you need to know where to hide."

Kisame chuckled yet again as he looked to the Sharingan eyed hologram, "Things are about get wild, don't you think, Itachi?"

Itachi simply nodded his head and closed his eyes.

"I agree."

X.X.X

 **And scene. Welcome back folks, glad to see y'all.**

 **Sakon is captured, Shikamaru has some shit cooking up for him jutsu wise, and the Chunin Exams are almost here. It's time for shit to get wild.**

 **Best believe, it's gonna be out there man.**

 **Oh yeah, and Naruto and Neji have an axe to grind with each other. I wonder when that's gonna happen...**

 **Remember to read and review, favorite and follow, ask me shit, etc.**

 **I'm outie like a belly button y'all, SPVNK OUT.**

 **P.S.: I GOT THE FUCKING TROPHY! I'M SO PROUD! FEEL MY ACCOMPLISHMENT!**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Somehow the original chapter is gone, so now I have to start from scratch. Shit sucks man, I was really feeling the chapter too. Maybe Kishimoto doesn't mind giving me the rights to Naruto, he can start from scratch. He'll be all right.

Broken Tools

Chapter 14: Stupid Chapter Randomly Disappearing Out of Nowhere. Stupid.

X.X.X.

(Two Months Before the Exams, Yukigakure)

One could say what they want about Jiraiya, but none could deny his prowess and reputation as a shinobi. His presence alone caused a major shift in atmospheres whenever he decided to appear.

Like now, in Yukigakure. Standing outside in the snowy wilderness alongside several other shinobi from the various villages, Jiraiya sighed out of boredom. Out of all the things he could be doing right now, like getting an eyeful of faces, titties, booties, and toes, he just had to be saddled with the job of preparation for the upcoming Chunin Exams while indirectly getting the celebrity treatment in the form of everyone staring at him in awe.

They needed shinobi skilled within the art of fuuinjutsu, and who better to call than Jiraiya? Surely no one else.

Well maybe the rest of these scrubs, but they were nowhere the quality of his skills. In his humble opinion.

Completely humble.

... Where's the guy that was running this whole shindig again? They needed to get this show on the road.

A booming voice shifted everyone's attention from staring at a legend among shinobi to looking above. A large blimp hovered above the collection of trained killers, where a large man with regal looking armor and a distinctive nose stood behind a railing, flanked by two shinobi in interesting looking armor.

So this was the head honcho...

Jiraiya snorted. He could dust this guy and both of his guards. Easily.

Doto looked at all of the amassed shinobi before him. His eyes lingered on Jiraiya far longer than any other ninja down there before he threw his arms out in a grandiose manner, "Welcome! I am Doto Kazahana, and I'm the host of this year's Chunin Exams! It is an honor to aid the great five in selecting their hopefuls for chunin." He then crossed his arms behind his back and smirked.

Jiraiya honestly thought that his smirk was really creepy. Made him look like he eats babies.

Doto continued to speak, tilting his head to the left, "I've called you all here because preparations needed to be made. Your respective village leaders are consorting with one another over finalization of the first test, but you all are needed for the second one." A sound akin to a train horn caught everyone's attention, putting them all on guard.

Doto noticed their alarm, and sought to dispel any apprehension, "Do not worry, there isn't any danger approaching. Well, unless you stand on the train track in front of you." He chuckled darkly, his guards doing the same. Looking in the direction of the oncoming train, he raised a hand, noticing the surprised faces on the shinobi below, "This is what you'll be aiding in preparing."

A Suna ninja who was shivering up a storm looked at the large contraption with a facial expression chock full of skepticism. Poor desert dweller in the cold, "So... you need fuuinjutsu for that thing because?" It was a well warranted question.

"Why, you ask? Just think of it as insurance. We do need this train after the Chunin Exams."

Eyes widening at the realization, Jiraiya let out a low chuckle before smirking. He had a general idea of what the second stage involved now. His many years of shinobi experience had to get him somewhere, and you didn't get somewhere without learning how to put two and two together.

He didn't have a general idea of who was watching them all from a distance though. Using the weather and a large, snowy hill as natural forms of camouflage, Deidara and Konan stood together on top of one of Deidara's clay birds. The blond used his eye scope for a couple more seconds before smirking, "That guy over there is disgustingly strong, un. Think we could take him?"

Konan closed her eyes momentarily as if she were pondering his question. She opened them and instantly shook her head, "Fighting him is the last thing we want to do. Our objective is to observe the lay of the land, determine the overall strength of the native ninja here, and gather as much information on the testing areas as possible." Information was the key component to their operation at the moment.

The more information that they obtain, the more easier it gets to push the boundaries and get away with certain actions. Like spying on the genin for example.

Deidara snorted. He knew exactly who the strongest person was over there, but he didn't care. Two months of sneaking in the snow with no form of entertainment?

Shit sucked.

Maybe he could try to have some fun with Konan...

He turned around to flash her a smooth smile.

All she did was stare blankly before looking back in the direction of the stupid Toad Sage. Damn it, the only female member of Akatsuki just had to be boring as hell. Damn ice queen thriving in her natural habitat.

Maybe he should've brought Hidan along instead since Hidan actually has more personality than her. He'd probably get pissed within the first five minutes and force feed the nut some C4, but there'd be some entertainment in watching him blow up.

Whatever, "You keep looking in that direction. He's really that strong, huh?"

She nodded grimly. She should know since he was the one who taught her how to be a kunoichi in the first place. Her temporary partner didn't need to know that, though.

"Whatever you do, do not draw his attention. Drawing his attention would bring the whole country down upon us." She stated with utmost seriousness.

The owner of the bird that they were on raised an interested eyebrow, "Hoh? How so? He has that much clout in the world, even as a Konoha shinobi?" He said, purposely ignoring Jiraiya's legendary status for the sake of conversation.

"Not even that. He's a really destructive combatant, plus he summons toads."

He knew what she was getting at, but he wanted to feign ignorance to keep her talking. As boring as she was, he'd rather hear her drone on and on in that ice-cold voice than listen to the wind blow the snow everywhere, "Summoning toads... destructive fighter... yeah I'm lost. How's that so bad again? Toads can't fly, but they can be blown up, un."

Konan's eyes cut to Deidara sharply. He was obviously playing dumb, and it was getting rather tiresome. If he wanted to annoy her, two could play that game.

He craved attention and stimulation, so she'd give him the opposite. Her outward persona didn't show it, but she was a master of getting on other people's nerves.

Deidara noticed that she didn't answer and turned to see why. All he got was the sight of her body turning into paper before drifting away, blown in every direction by the wind.

Eyebrow twitching, Deidara felt his annoyance rear its ugly head, "Oi, where'd you go? Don't leave me hanging out here in the cold, un!"

The bitch! How dare she ditch him?

It didn't matter, she was clearly playing hard to get. He loved to play games just as much as the next man, especially with an attractive girl such as herself.

At least he had something to occupy his time now.

X.X.X.

(Kumogakure, Raikage's Office)

"Bro, why you gotta be like that? Letting Yugito go with my team instead of me? That's whack!" Bee rapped, annoying the hell out of A and Yugito as the three stood in the Raikage's office. They've been there for a solid ten minutes before Bee realized that he wasn't going to be going. So of course he had to resort to annoying everybody in the room by whining in his signature rapping style.

Judging by Yugito's and A's twitching eyebrows, it was doing something.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, A sighed before repeating his reasoning for the umpteenth time, "Bee, you're Kumo's guardian. You're not leaving the village behind just to go be a dumbass at the exams." He'd do nothing but wreak havoc on the poor, unsuspecting fools if given the leeway to go.

They would more than likely consider his presence as an act of war now that he thought about it. It wouldn't be due to his status as the perfect jinchuuriki, oh no.

No, it would probably be because of his incessant rapping. It was enough to drive a lesser man insane if subjected to it for an extended amount of time.

Standing beside the Raikage's desk, Yugito chimed in, "Yeah Bee, I love you and all but you're really annoying. You going wouldn't do anybody any favors." Bee was probably the most eccentric person she's ever met in her life, and her life was full of oddballs.

Bee dismissed both of their claims of him being annoying with a lazy wave, "You two are lying out the ass, you're really tripping. Just let me go and I promise I won't get caught slipping."

 **"Bee, you'd more than likely cause mass hysteria by being there. Your luck is pretty bad."** A deep voice drawled from within Bee's mind, unheard by the rest of the occupants in the room. Bee sucked his teeth, "Not you too, my boy Eight! You're not helping me set the record straight. Don't be like that, you gotta get my back!" He rhymed out loud, letting A and Yugito know that his tenant shared their sentiments. That had to mean something.

If even a biju, a demonic being composed of unbridled malice and chakra, was saying that a human going somewhere would cause nothing but trouble, then it was probably a bad idea for said human to go.

This wasn't the average human though. He wouldn't be deterred by anybody or anything, human or biju. If he wanted to go somewhere, then damn it, he was gonna go! Who would stop him?

Despite his shades hiding his eyes and true intent, A knew his brother enough to know that he was plotting, "Bee, you'd better not sneak out." A sternly ordered.

Bee just simply stared ahead for several more moments before shrugging and turning around to leave.

He made it halfway to the door before A seemingly teleported to the door. He didn't teleport though, he was just that ridiculously fast.

A was also ridiculous enough to just go through his desk instead of around just to cut Bee off.

The desk would be replaced within the next hour anyway. A breaking something in his office was just as common as Bee rapping. They kept spares on standby at all times.

The guy in charge of making those desks was a very happy camper from all of that business as well, but that's beside the point.

Bee stood staring at A with no visible tells of being surprised at being headed off. He just tapped him on the chest instead, "You gonna move anytime soon?"

A's body immediately generated a powerful shroud of potent lightning, the light from his elemental armor illuminating the room. He gritted his teeth and glared at the male jinchuuriki, "Bee..." He trailed off with an edge to his voice.

In response, Bee tilted his head to the side, "Yeah bro?"

The Raikage leaned down and growled menacingly, looking Bee directly in the eyes as his lighting armor enhanced the intimidation factor, "You. Better. Not. Leave."

Once again, Bee showed no major reaction to A's attempt of intimidating him. All he did was channel enough of his lighting chakra to his hand to safely shove A to the side, "Read you loud and clear. Now I'm out, your hot-ass breath is melting my ear." With his piece rapped, Bee departed from the room, leaving Yugito and A left within the office.

Turning his lighting armor off, A walked back over to his seat that thankfully survived his outburst of destructive speed before sitting in it. He held his forehead in thought for a couple of minutes before releasing a heavy sigh, "... That idiot is probably going to leave anyway."

As Yugito sat in another seat near the recently departed desk, she checked her nails and snorted, "Pfft, I could have told you that." Despite them constantly talking shit to him, they preferred the side of Bee when he's loud and annoying. A quiet Bee, especially after somebody told him not to do something, was the absolute worst thing to deal with on the planet. That's when he was in his completely stubborn mode, and he wasn't one to get persuaded easily.

A slumped in his chair uncharacteristically, "This is not gonna end well. Think I could put the fear of Kami in him with a couple of Iron Claws?"

Once again, Yugito snorted.

He got his answer on that.

The chair that he was in suddenly departed the office, flying through the window. Civilians and shinobi alike paused to see what was going on until they saw their leader ranting in his office again. Several shouts telling them all to mind their damn business quelled any notions of investigating and forced them to go about their lives lest they face the wrath of a large man shrouded in lightning.

Just another day in Kumo.

X.X.X.

(Undisclosed Base, Laboratory)

Test tubes and beakers were strewn about the desk that Kabuto was currently leaning on. The bespectacled medic pushed his glass up further on his face as he observed Kimimaro awaken and sit up from the bed he laid on, "Kimimaro-kun, how nice of you to join us in the realm of non-sleepers."

Not giving any indication of wanting to respond, the Kaguya rolled his neck several times before rising off of the bed. He was never one for friendly chatter, especially with anyone that wasn't Orochimaru.

Watching the albino walk around the room for a bit to shake off any post sleep dreariness, Kabuto chuckled to himself as if a joke was told. It was almost hilarious to him.

Kimimaro didn't find anything humorous at the moment, however, and decided to let that be known clearly, "I was unaware of any jokes being passed around. Care to share?"

"Jokes? I never took either one of you as the comedic types. My my, I guess you learn something new everyday." The serpentine voice of Orochimaru cooed as he entered the room, flanked by two non-important lackeys. The sannin's eyes roamed the room, lingering on Kimimaro's bare torso for a bit too long before he swung his arms in a grandiose manner, "Kabuto-kun, Kimimaro-kun, guess what's around the corner..." He said in a sing-song style.

The two younger occupants of the room shared brief glances. Usually whenever Orochimaru seemed excited about something, it only promised pain for somebody.

Kimimaro didn't know what he could be talking about since he really didn't know the general climate of the shinobi world outside of what he experienced with Orochimaru, but Kabuto did. His risky game of playing as an underling for two of the world's highest ranked missing ninjas made sure that he knew.

He looked over to the strongest in the room to appease his line of questioning, "The Chunin Exams, I presume?"

"Bravo, Kabuto-kun. I'm so proud of you." The snake said in a sickly tone, which didn't unsettle either one of the teens. They've grown accustomed to Orochimaru's unsettling nature by now.

Kimimaro moved to put his shirt on in its usually loose form. Once he was all set, he asked his question, "Are we going to be attending, Orochimaru-sama?"

The smile on Orochimaru's face threatened to reach both of his ears, "But of course! There's too much going on this year for us not to go. Plus, my old sensei is going to be there... ah, memories." Orochimaru sighed whimsically as he took a trip down memory lane.

He instantly crushed any thoughts and perceived notions of him wanting to innocently catch up with a major figure of his past with the following statement.

"We're going to kill him."

Kabuto's eyes widened momentarily before he smirked. That was one thing that he could appreciate about his master, his unpredictability was very interesting to say the least.

One moment they'd be dealing with a large, convoluted plot to carry out a goal of his, only to make a complete one-eighty turn and go along with a simple plan.

He had to admit that he was curious in how he was going to do this though, "Orochimaru-sama, how are we going to accomplish this? Surely it would be difficult with the amount of other ninja from other villages present." That was putting it lightly. Suna, Konoha's ally, was going to be there, plus several of their other allies.

Orochimaru didn't lose his grin, yet the pressure in the room grew significantly, "Oh? You doubt our ability to kill that old raisin, Kabuto?"

After Kabuto made sure that his heart skipping a beat wasn't fatal, he bowed his head in submission, "M-my apologies! I simply just wanted to know how we would do this."

The pressure relented, and Kabuto regained full control over his breathing and heart beat. Orochimaru strolled over to the recovering medic, placing a hand on his shoulder, "And that's why I like you, Kabuto-kun. You never take anything at face value, which is a wonderful and necessary trait for surviving as a shinobi. But fear not, my boy. Kimimaro-kun and I will handle the major work. You'll be in charge of our adorable little genin that we are sending to participate. You'll be with them as well in order to gather information on any interesting genin."

Still keeping his head bowed, Kabuto nodded to acknowledge his role in the grand scheme of things. Despite his fear, he still had more questions, "Orochimaru-sama, what if we come across Naruto or Tayuya?"

"I will strike them down like the trash that they are." Kimimaro stated with the most commendable conviction one could muster. It warmed Orochimaru's heart to hear him say that, and he honestly was curious about a confrontation between Kimimaro and Naruto. How would that really play out?

Unfortunately, that scenario was not to be for now, "You will not blow your cover as a genin. If you are to encounter him during whichever portion that fighting freely is allowed, get away from him immediately. Or better yet, gauge his abilities. I want to see how far Danzo's little project has come before I take it from him."

Ah yes, Kabuto forgot all about that gamble of his. Leave it to Orochimaru to take such a calculated risk in order to get what he wanted. Based off of the preparations made beforehand, there could only be two outcomes. It was either Danzo manages to convince the village that Naruto is no longer needed amongst them, or the Third Hokage doesn't allow it.

But wait, there was more to it...

Kabuto looked up at Orochimaru in awe, too stunned by what they were attempting to register the look of absolute smugness creeping upon Orochimaru's face.

"You see why the old monkey is going to die now?"

Gulping, Kabuto weakly nodded.

"Good! I trust that there will be no more doubts, right Kabuto-kun?" There goes that suffocating pressure again.

Once again, the bespectacled lad nodded.

"Good. Me and Kimimaro will be more than enough for Sarutobi-sensei and his merry band of lackeys. Two S-ranked shinobi against one... I like those odds." The snake smiled, his serpentine eyes shining with malice and excitement.

X.X.X.

(Two Months Before The Exams, With Naruto and Pals)

"You'd think those two would have had enough by now, but nope. They just have to have that troublesome drive to improve." Shikamaru mused as he, Tayuya, Sakura and Choji watched Naruto and Sasuke get their asses handed to them repeatedly by Asuma and Kakashi. The two genin teams decided to meet today for a joint training session, which devolved into a pissing contest between Naruto and Sasuke, which then evolved into Naruto and Sasuke fighting tooth and nail to not get knocked unconscious.

So far, the dynamic between the two was that Naruto would be harassing the two jonin with lethal attempts on their life while Sasuke skulked around, trying to look for an opening to immolate one of the adults with a passionate fireball. Needless to say, with Asuma being the taijutsu supreme and Kakashi having an answer for just about everything Sasuke threw at them, the two genin weren't having an easy time.

It was frustrating to the both of them, and something needed to change.

A solid punch landed on Naruto's cheek, sending him flying back towards Sasuke. After skidding to a stop at the raven-haired Uchiha, Naruto cradled his cheek and glared at Sasuke, "You seem to be pretty comfy hanging back. Let's switch positions."

"No, dobe. I'm good on that, I've learned my lesson." Sasuke responded with a grimace, wincing at the phantom pain that momentarily flared up in his stomach and head. Naruto's sensei didn't seem to be holding back as much as Kakashi, and he made that clear everytime he touched either one of them. That vicious three-piece combo that he placed on Sasuke the moment he decided to get bold and run up for a frontal assault was going to leave him sore for a week at least.

Scowling at his partner, Naruto got back up to his feet, leveling a glare at Asuma and Kakashi, who were simply standing there enjoying a cigarette and reading some smut respectively. The laid back attitude that the two were displaying was getting on his nerves, "Oi, why aren't you two taking us seriously?"

Sasuke wasn't as vocal as Naruto, but he shared the same sentiments.

Turning a page in his book as if there weren't two child soldiers in front of him trying to harm him, Kakashi whimsically sighed, "Simple. You two haven't given us a reason to. Notice that we've only been on the defensive the whole time."

Both Sasuke and Naruto called bullshit on that. Asuma came after them to knock them senseless several times.

"Well stop that! Get aggressive on us, we can take it!" Naruto growled as he crouched low to the ground while several copies of him poofed into existence. One of the clones whispered into Sasuke's ear quickly before they all ran towards the two jonin, who didn't seem phased in the slightest.

"Oh would you look at that, he thinks numbers are going to change things. How adorable!" Kakashi drawled as he continued to read.

"Yeah... it would've worked on others, but for us..." Asuma hopped back slightly to avoid two hands coming up from the ground, slicing through both arms cleanly with his trench knives in retaliation, "It ain't gonna work anytime soon."

"His little smoke cloud tactic is cute, but I think we need to turn up the heat a bit." Kakashi said as he closed his book with emphasis.

A hungry grin crept across Asuma's face, "I'm down for that. Let's switch brats, though."

After nodding their agreement, the two immediately dashed into the oncoming surge of clones. The jonin tore the doppelgangers with almost childish ease, showing their opponents no quarter whatsoever.

The casual brutality caused Sasuke and Naruto, as well as the rest of the genin watching, to sit slack-jawed. It was pretty crazy to see their sensei cut loose and unleash several circles of hell upon clones of Naruto.

It almost caused Sasuke and Naruto to forget their plan, but Naruto shook himself out of it at the last second, "Sasuke, remember the plan!" He hissed with urgency, ignoring the memory of a clone getting stabbed in the forehead before being sliced straight down the middle.

"Right, Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)!" Sasuke shouted as he spat a speeding fireball at the jonin, who were occupied with the last clone who jumped straight at them.

There was no way that they could get out of it, it was practically right there!

"Doton: Doryūheki (Earth Release: Earth-Style Wall)!" A wide wall of earth erupted from the ground at the very last second to crush Sasuke's hopes and dreams right then and there.

The look of absolute rage on his face would've been adorable to some.

As if the crappy luck just wanted to continue, the wall was sliced into compact chunks, which were then set ablaze by an even larger fireball.

...Then a giant cloud of ash enveloped the flaming chunks.

...Then a powerful wind jutsu sent the projectiles and the ash cloud down range towards Naruto and Sasuke.

Both of the boys wasted no time on voicing an opinion on the oncoming onslaught. Instead they just turned around, hauled ass in the opposite direction, and screamed their heads off as they darted past their teammates.

It was really Naruto screaming since Sasuke's Uchiha ego refused to let him scream in any octave higher than Sakura's screaming. He just cursed repeatedly under his breath while letting Naruto do all of the vocal work. He was their voice, Sasuke was everything else that wasn't annoying.

That's how they rolled.

Shikamaru and Tayuya saw the cloud of ash first, Tayuya having a flashback of how a bandit camp got decimated shortly after being enveloped by said cloud.

"Shit."

"Troublesome."

"FLEE DEEP INTO THE WOODS! THOSE TWO ARE LEGITIMATELY TRYING TO KILL US!" Naruto warned hysterically as him and a panicking Sasuke rushed right past the tree that the non-combatants were observing the fight in. He was actively ignoring Sasuke's and his attempts to kill either one of them earlier since he was trying his hardest not to die.

He could worry about being a hypocrite later, survival was the first priority of the day.

Choji watched Sasuke and Naruto book it before nervously gulping at the oncoming attack, "Sheesh, sensei and Asuma-sensei don't play around!" He observed as he grabbed Sakura and jumped out of the tree, deciding to follow Naruto's advice.

Shikamaru and Tayuya didn't need to be told to run away from the giant cloud. They were already gone the moment Shikamaru saw Asuma send the cloud of death their way.

Grinning as he continued to keep the cloud going, Asuma let out a chuckle as he clicked the flint in between his teeth, causing the whole cloud to ignite and explode with extreme prejudice.

Kakashi crouched down to observe the beautiful explosion, wiping away imaginary tears at the sight of the spectacle, "That was such an awe-inspiring combination."

"It really was," Asuma agreed as he took note of the portion of the training ground that was currently missing greenery due to their attack, "So we're hunting down the brats?"

"But of course. I'll take your team, you take mine."

"Ah, the good ol' switcheroo. After this, we're gonna tell them that they should never think they're not in danger just because they're observing on the sidelines."

"Just like how my sensei used to treat us. Oh, the memories." Kakashi whimsically sighed as he debated whether to summon Pakkun and the rest of his hounds for this little exercise. He decided against it as he looked over at Asuma, "Think your kids are ready for the exams?"

Kicking at a rock absentmindedly, Asuma nodded, "They're probably going to win the whole thing in my humble opinion."

"Ooh, careful Asuma. Your ego is showing."

Asuma ignored the light-hearted jab, smirking at Kakashi, "Question is, are your kids ready?"

"Of course my cute little genin are."

Asuma snorted, "Don't be surprised when my kids sleepwalk through the whole thing." With his piece spoken, Asuma took off into the forest in order to hunt Kakashi's kids down.

"My my, he's so confident..."

"Maybe I should turn my Sharingan on just in case I come across Naruto... nah. He's not up there yet." Kakashi rushed off as well, his mind idly mulling over how the exams would turn out this year.

X.X.X.

(One Month Before Exams, Underground Base)

"Report."

"The village is stirring about with activity due to the upcoming exams. Civilians are preparing to travel ahead to set up their lodging accommodations. Merchants are preparing as well."

"And the shinobi populace?"

"Teams that are attending are training relentlessly. Especially the group of genin known throughout the village as the Rookie Nine."

"The jinchuuriki, as well as the Nara and the Uchiha are apart of that little group... are there any updates on their skill levels?"

"Intel gathered on the Nara shows that he is becoming more and more proficient at being mobile with his shadow jutsu. The Uchiha is steadily progressing with his skills as expected, and the jinchuuriki is developing more jutsu."

Even in the darkness, the subordinate could feel his master's intrigue grow from his gaze alone.

"Expound on the jinchuuriki's jutsu."

Nodding, the nameless operative began to recall what he and several others have seen over the previous months, "Several of us have witnessed the boy carry around a long, unfamiliar looking contraption made out of bone. Nobody can confirm what it is since any attempts to retrieve the presumed weapon and study it have been thwarted by him sealing it within a scroll."

"None of you have seen it being utilized?"

"No sir. There have been reports of his clones populating various training grounds, with the sounds of jingling that bear resemblance to a chain, however."

Danzo's eye widened for a fraction of a second before he schooled his features once again. The boy was really beginning to grow into his lineage after all. Once he started working on gaining control over the biju within him, it would only be a matter of time before the shinobi world bowed in submission to Konoha.

If only all that potential was Danzo's to mold and direct, Konoha would be better off than it is. Foolish Hiruzen, allowing the boy to be free instead of with him. If only his dear friend weren't so sentimental and compassionate...

He stopped all of the what if scenarios. As according to plan, the jinchuuriki was growing in strength. Sure he may have been returned to the village earlier and not by Danzo's own shinobi as planned, but there was still time bring Naruto under his control.

He would lead Konoha to the top of the shinobi world or die trying.

X.X.X.

(One Month Before Chunin Exams, With Gato and Jinpachi)

The midnight breeze that blew Jinpachi's shirt to the right felt good to the swordsman. Walking up to Gato's mansion, and by proxy his mansion, he couldn't help but grin at the good news he gathered from the mainland. Opportunity presented itself, and as the eager opportunist he was, he had to capitalize on it.

Once he reached the door, he knocked before whistling a jaunty tune. Eventually the door opened up to reveal that bridge builder's daughter.

He cupped her chin and gave her a sleazy smile as he strolled in, "Hey baby girl, did you miss daddy?"

Tsunami just looked away from the swordsman in disgust, prompting him to laugh uproariously. After his laughing fit died down, he grabbed her by her ass and hips and pulled her close to him, "Mmm, I love it when you play hard to get. Still mad at me for chopping your father's head off after those tree huggers left to mourn their fallen?"

Tsunami still didn't bless him with a response, yet her eyes teared up at the reminder of her father being killed. What made it even worse was that he was killed right in front of her and Inari. Then Inari was promptly beat to death by this disgusting excuse of a man in front of her as well.

She was without family now, and to only reason that she was still even breathing is because of Jinpachi dragging her to Gato's mansion and convincing Gato to keep her as a house slave. When she broke down and asked why did her family have to get murdered, they both replied with a cruel explanation of not wanting anymore hope sprouting up on the island anytime soon. No hope means no radical ideas to call for more shinobi to deal with them.

Noticing her eyes water, Jinpachi feigned sympathy as he caressed her cheek, "Don't cry, dry your eye. I'll be in your room later to give you a nice little massage, you look like you need it." He said as he drew closer to her neck, giving her a quick lick and nibble, "Now then, be a good girl and tell me which room Gato is in. We got business to discuss."

She had to fight the urge to throw up on him. He was absolutely repulsive! But at the same time, he could brutally murder her at any moment, so she had to go along with it, "He's up in his office."

Jinpachi stole a quick kiss before he practically vanished before her eyes. She heard his voice echo through the halls, "Remember, be naked when I come to your room tonight girl! And if you try to do that dumb biting my dick shit again, I'll heat this needle up and render you infertile!"

Once he reached his destination, he kicked Gato's door open for the umpteenth time, swinging his arms open and smiling brightly at the short midget, "I got good news!"

Gato, who was turned to the side in his chair, stopped looking at the ceiling and looked at Jinpachi before looking at his kicked in door, "You need to bring a new door next time." He said as he snapped his fingers.

A brown-haired woman got up from behind the desk, causing Jinpachi to raise his eyebrow before smirking. Gato ordered her to leave for now, but Jinpachi stopped her on the way out, "Don't leave yet girlie, I want a turn too. Plus, you're gonna help me spice up my night."

After zipping up his pants, Gato swiveled around in his chair to face his obnoxious bodyguard, "This better be good news..."

Shooing the girl to the side, Jinpachi approached Gato's desk, "The Chunin Exams are less than a month away! I say we go."

Gato just stared blankly for several seconds, "... And I care because?"

"Because you're a money-grubbing businessman who doesn't like to miss out on opportunities to expand your criminal empire, that's why." The swordsman answered with a snort.

Sighing, Gato leaned back, his chair squeaking from the movement, "What opportunities would be there for me?"

Jinpachi narrowed his eyes. So Gato wasn't going to go without enough persuasion. Very well then, he had his special way of persuasion.

Jinpachi's signature sword crashed down on the desk, splitting the poor wood into splinters and causing the young woman seated near the wall to yelp in fear. The blade came dangerously close to making Gato a eunuch, which terrified him greatly, "Jinpachi, what the fuck?!"

Pulling out a decent amount of ninja wire, Jinpachi started to innocently whistle his tune from before as he wrapped the wire around Gato's neck. He pushed the midget's chair towards the window before waltzing over and punching the glass out, effectively destroying it.

Glass shards sprinkled onto Gato's head as he tried his hardest not to make any sudden moves lest he get assaulted by the psychopath he called a bodyguard. He wondered just what crazy plot Jinpachi was trying to accomplish.

He didn't have to wait for an answer for long due to Jinpachi tilting the chair backwards. This asshole was trying to hang him?!

Said asshole grabbed Gato's cheeks, looking the petrified midget directly in the eyes, "We. Are. Going. To. The. Exams, right?" Jinpachi questioned, tilting the chair back further and further with each syllable pronounced. Gato could feel the blood rushing directly to his head as he realized that his head was where he liked his feet to be.

Gato nodded so quickly, he almost slipped out of the swordsman's grasp.

Satisfied at the answer, Jinpachi yanked the midget back into the room, letting him fall onto the remains of the once standing desk. He went over to the girl still sitting in fear, slung her over his shoulder, and left the room, laughing as he made his exit and groped the girl, "I'll give you the details about when we leave in the morning, right now is party time!" He exclaimed.

Gato took deep breaths to slow down his heart rate. He was seriously considering trying to leave this godforsaken town. How did he end up with a bodyguard that put him in more danger than anything else?

Maybe that's one opportunity right there! He could hire another shinobi who wasn't bat-shit insane to be his bodyguard instead of Jinpachi. He was actually right, that was good news!

"Oi Tsunami-chaaaan! I got another playmate for us! I hope you're ready to get freaky tonight, girl!" Jinpachi's sleazy voice echoed out from the hall.

Poor girls.

X.X.X.

(With Naruto and Tenten, Two Weeks Before Exams)

"Fuck Neji, help me out here!" Naruto spat as he and Tenten sat down in her family's weapon shop. She was being really adamant about not helping him, and it was getting on his nerves.

All he wanted was some tips on marksmanship, yet she wouldn't budge. She kept throwing the excuse that Neji wouldn't like that, and as much as an ass that Neji was, she didn't want to go against one of her teammates.

Continuing her diligent duties of restocking the shelves behind the counter, Tenten shook her head in the negative, "No can do, Naruto. Neji would bitch and complain if he found out that I helped you with anything, and I don't wanna hear his mouth." She finished stocking that shelf before moving to the next, looking at Naruto as she did, "Why are you so insistent on me teaching you marksmanship anyway? The big event is almost here, so it doesn't seem too smart to pick up a new skill like that at the moment."

Naruto huffed as he resigned himself to explain, "I got a thing going for me here, only problem is that I need something to help me with seeing from a distance. I'm pretty sure that since you're a long-ranged fighter, you have some kind of trick to see everywhere or something."

Tenten snorted, "Seeing everywhere? Might have to ask Neji for help with that, you know, with his Byakugan and all." She smirked as she saw Naruto's face wrinkle up in disgust, "What, you don't like that idea?"

A middle finger was her response.

Aww, he was so cute when he was mad. Maybe she should annoy him more often...

"First of all, I don't have his stupid kekkei genkai, and second, I don't just circulate chakra to my eyes to win all my fights like he does." Naruto stated evenly as he kicked his feet up onto the counter.

"Right. You just invade people's personal space, abuse your stupid kekkei genkai, and circulate chakra to your skeleton to win." Tenten shot back.

Nodding in agreement, Naruto squinted and smiled, "Right." Hearing the bun-haired girl snicker caused Naruto to open his eyes before narrowing them at her in a suspicious manner, "Oi, you're not funny!"

"Whatever you say, squirt."

Naruto just crossed his arms in a mock pout, squinting his eyes again. Stupid cute girl getting one over on him.

He really needed something to help him get over this hurdle, and he'd be damned if he went to the Chunin Exams without a long-range jutsu that had some power behind it.

If only he had enhanced eyesight like Neji and Sasuke. Damn chakra-enhanced eye wielding dickheads...

He couldn't lie though, he idly wondered how life would be if he had eyes like that. What if he could circulate chakra through his eyes and do something cool?

"Huh, you think I could put chakra in my eyes?" Naruto inquired as he blinked rapidly, preparing to test out his hypothetical question.

Tenten gave a shrug as she began to sharpen a rather wicked-looking sickle, "You can do anything with chakra. People run it through different body parts all the time, so why not?" It made sense since shinobi were known to circulate it all over their bodies.

Eh, why the hell not? What could possibly go wrong?

With no hesitation, Naruto channeled a good amount of chakra into his eyes, and almost fell out of his seat out of shock. The amount of detail that he could see was ridiculous!

Tenten noticed her friend stumble and stopped what she was doing in order to check on him, only to pause at what she saw when she looked into his eyes, "Naruto, your eyes... they're glowing and radiating chakra! Like I can't even see the white in your eyes, it's just solid blue." She marveled in awe.

Scrambling to get back up, Naruto stood up and looked around, "Really? That sounds awesome." He could imagine the possibilities already. Intimidation was going to be a lot easier with glowing eyes.

Maybe he could run around and scare kids who were still out and about at night. Oh yes, this was definitely a good development.

Noticing the growing look of mischief on Naruto's face, Tenten couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement at seeing his eyes glow like that. It stirred something within her. She didn't know why though, but she honestly liked the whole glowing eyes thing. It made him look dangerous to her.

"Oh hell yeah, my eyesight definitely got improved! Lemme see how far I can see now!" Naruto exclaimed as he went towards the window, trying to test out the max range of his vision. Once he completed his little task, he turned around and flashed Tenten a devilish smile, his eyes still glowing.

Oh yeah, there was definitely something about this that she could appreciate.

With a sudden burst of speed, the blonde hopped over the counter and enveloped Tenten in a rather tight hug, spinning her around as he smiled warmly, "Thanks Tenten, I definitely owe you one. I'm off to go practice now, see you later!" Setting her down after thanking her, Naruto rushed out of the shop and out of sight, booking it to his favorite training ground.

Tenten blinked for a couple of seconds before sighing softly. She jokingly suggested that he should try that, so she wasn't expecting him to take her seriously. Leave it to him to actually make something out of that.

As she set back to making sure that the weapons shop was presentable, she wondered just what kind of technique Naruto had in his back pocket that required him to be able to see from long distances...

X.X.X

(Three Days Before Exams, Konoha Contingent)

A couple of bandits were on standby in the signature trees that inhabited the land of Hi no Kuni, watching a large group of Konoha shinobi walk down the road. Their destination was unclear, but one thing was for certain.

They had the Hokage with them.

The sheer fact that the Hokage was out and about would've told anyone with common sense that something major was going down, but these weren't the folks who were known for intelligent thinking. No, these were bandits, a species of trash that had very limited thought processes and patterns.

One of them whispered at the sight of the hat that clued them in on the status of the old raisin wearing it, "Holy shit, it's really him! This is wonderful news!"

Another shady bandit looked at the previous speaker, "How in the hell is that good news? We'd get slaughtered if we even tried to approach them!"

The Anbu ninjas posted around the unsuspecting bandits had to agree mentally. They'd probably be the ones to do it themselves should the bandits even twitch wrong in the Hokage's general direction.

The one that stated the obvious got smacked upside the head for stating the obvious, "No shit. Think about it though. The Hokage is the strongest ninja in his village, right?"

Several whispers of agreement prompted him to continue, "So think about it like this. If the strongest person leaves the treasure unguarded, what's stopping us from taking it?"

Realization shined through in one of the idiot's eyes, "Oooh, I get it now! We're going to take over the village singe the Hokage is gone!" He whispered excitedly, causing everyone that could hear him, including the Anbu, Kiba, and several others, to try their hardest not to palm their foreheads out of exasperation.

Pinching his nose in disbelief that bandits could be that stupid, Kiba strolled over to Kurenai-sensei, "Sensei, are we really just gonna let those idiots run free?"

Kurenai knew what Kiba was getting at, and so did everyone else who was important enough to be part of the loop. It wasn't her call to make though, "That's not up to me, Kiba. If Hokage-sama wants something done about them, he'll let either us or the Anbu know."

Chuckling at the updates on the bandits in the trees, Hiruzen shook his head in amusement as he walked alongside his son, Kakashi, and several others. The fools really thought that's how the shinobi system worked, eh? They were surely in for a rude awakening if they even made it that far.

"So dad, what are the bandits saying? It's gotta be something dumb if you're chuckling like this." Asuma asked as he eyed the trees momentarily.

"Oh, they think that since I'm here, the rest of the village is up for grabs."

"Wow... think we should let the kids get a crack at them? I know Naruto's probably going stir crazy with the lack of action..." Asuma mused, slightly suspicious of the lack of spiky, blond hair running around. Hopefully he wasn't doing anything stupid.

Hiruzen cupped his chin in contemplation at that suggestion. On one hand, he wanted the genin, both rookies and the experienced, to keep their minds focused on the upcoming task looming over the horizon. Distracted, antsy genin could only spell trouble for their success.

Yeah, there was no point in allowing the kids to do anything now that he thought about it. Giving them a chance to flex their claws on untrained bandits was like him deciding to pull out the staff and go to town on one of the genin.

It would serve as a demonstration of how far ahead they are against the average human, yet it wouldn't be worth it in the end.

"No, I don't think they should do anything. It would be a waste of time for our genin to exert energy on bandits who couldn't put up a decent fight, so keep them from acting." Hiruzen stated as he nodded his head in the direction of the bandits, looking directly into the eyes of one of them.

Said bandit who made eye contact with the legendary Kami no Shinobi almost had a heart attack, "Oh fuck, he knows we're watching!" This was definitely not good. They were completely at the whole collection of shinobi's mercy.

"Wait, you said he knows?!"

"Damn it, we're fucked!"

"How will we ever take over the village now?!"

"I want his cool hat!"

"Yeah, we're all gonna di- wait, what? The hat?"

All of the bandits paused their panic attacks to look behind them, eyes widening once they registered the presence of a blond boy in a black long-sleeved button down on a branch. His eyes were glowing blue as he tilted his head from being subjected to their gazes, "Aww damn, you guys finally noticed me. Took you long enough." He mused before hopping directly into the face of the nearest bandit, smiling mischievously as he widened his eyes for intimidation, "Boo."

His action garnered the response that he was looking for since the bandit jumped back while screaming in fear. The poor bandit jumped so far he actually landed neck first right beside the Konoha shinobi walking amongst the path, more specifically right beside Asuma, Hiruzen, and Kakashi.

Asuma and Kakashi, as well as every other shinobi in the travelling group, hopped into defensive positions immediately once they heard the scream, but sweat dropped once they heard Naruto call out from the trees, "I did not purposely do that! I scared him and he jumped away!"

Hiruzen sighed as he promptly turned on his heel and made his way back to his carriage. Leave it to Naruto to inadvertently kill someone without even laying a hand on the victim, "Make sure he doesn't kill anyone else, I'm going back into the carriage." He originally didn't want to travel in the carriage due to wanting to walk alongside his shinobi under the guise of morale boosting, but Naruto's antics were not going to give him a headache this quickly.

For Kami sakes, they've only been walking for less than thirty minutes, and somebody has already ended up dead. All thanks to that blond psycho that he saw as a grandson.

Sidestepping the fresh corpse, Asuma instantly produced a cigarette and lit it up, trying to shake the bad feeling that he was getting. It wasn't from the dead bandit, because in all honesty he was expecting somebody to die outside of a combat situation due to Naruto doing something stupid before he became a chunin. No, it was a feeling that he couldn't ignore or pinpoint the origin of.

Hopefully he was just getting nervous over nothing...

The cigarette wasn't working, damn it! He needed something else to preoccupy his mind.

He looked to the trees that the rest of the bandits and Naruto were in, then looked around at the contingent walking. Eventually his eyes settled on the swaying hips of his secret flame.

... Kami, those hips were swinging very nicely. All of his anxiety damn near eradicated itself once he became affixed with the alluring motion. She wasn't even trying to be sexy, since she had her kids hovering around her as well as all of the other shinobi travelling with them, but it surely felt like he was being seduced.

Yeah, he knew what he was going to be taking a shot at once they got there.

Without further contemplation, he smoothly made his way up there to walk beside her, passing by Kakashi's brats and Tayuya as he did so. Sakura's face shriveled up as the aroma of nicotine and smoke breezed past her, "Ugh, I don't see how your sensei smokes those things so casually. They reek." She complained to Tayuya, who was beside Choji eating with the chubby one.

Popping another couple of chips into her mouth, Tayuya shrugged, "No idea. Hokage-sama smokes those shits too, but why, none of us will probably ever know."

Choji threw his two cents into the mix as he polished off his third snack of the day, "Maybe it's a recreational type of thing. Like a hobby."

Sakura huffed at that, crossing her arms as she shook her head disapprovingly, "Well they need a new hobby then! Hanging around that kind of stuff is bad for your lungs anyway."

Snorting, Sasuke slid his hands into his pocket, "Regardless of their habits, they're still elite ninja for a reason. Smoking probably doesn't impact their skills, so I'd say it doesn't matter. What does matter is how we're all going to do in the Chunin Exams." He had a point. This was a very important event in their careers as shinobi.

Tayuya grew a confident smirk on her face, "Well, my team is getting promoted. Shikamaru has new jutsu that none of you have seen, I've been working non-stop on my taijutsu and genjutsu, and Naruto... my advice is to never let him grab you. The fight is over once he grabs you." She advised as she looked back to the section of the trees that everyone passed, hearing all of the bandits in the tree scream bloody murder at Naruto harassing them, "Yeah, we got this shit in the fucking bag." Tayuya stated with utmost confidence.

Sakura strolled along as she flipped her hair at Tayuya's claims. She couldn't just let her team not be put up there for consideration, "Well, my team is definitely a shoe in as well. Choji's been trying to switch up the way he fights after seeing how Shikamaru is breaking the mold, and it is absolutely terrifying. Sasuke... do we really need to speak on Sasuke? He's Sasuke, of course he's gonna win everything. And me, I've dabbled in some genjutsu as well. Sensei told me that my chakra control was perfect for it."

Hearing a pissing contest brewing, Kiba grabbed both of his teammates and turned to talk some good old-fashioned shit. There was no excuse for him not to brag, his team was the best, "Oi, don't count us out either! We're definitely gonna win this whole thing, right Akamaru?!"

"Bark bark!"

"You're god damn right, boy!"

Hinata tried to shy away from the antics, but surprisingly Shino stopped her with one arm, adjusting his glasses with the other arm, "I must agree with Kiba. Why, you ask?"

"We didn't ask, Shino." Was the collective deadpan response from everyone there except from Kiba and Hinata.

"Simple." Shino continued to drone, either not noticing the looks of exasperation on everyone there, or just not caring all together, "Hinata is our best hand to hand combatant, Kiba is our most tenacious, and I am the most strategic. Plus we have all been working on additional tactics and techniques. How will any of you stand against our team's prowess?"

"Easily. Your team has a weakling on it. I'll crush her first before I crush the rest of you." The smug voice of Neji stated smoothly as his team joined the rookies, not caring about the glares that he was receiving from insulting one of them. Their opinions wouldn't matter when they lost anyway.

Hinata instantly tried to make herself as small as possible once Neji made his presence known. She hated that get cousin held so much malice towards her due to circumstances out of her control.

Not liking the way that Neji insulted Hinata and casually dismissed everyone else there, Kiba allowed his temper to get a hold of him as he shoved Neji, "And who the fuck are you supposed to be? I'll drag you myself during this event before Hinata has to do anything."

Although the shove threw him off-balance for a second, his higher than thou attitude never faltered, "I do not wish to waste my time with retraining a mutt. I have better things to do." He pointed to Hinata and back to the trees where Naruto's head was comically peering through the leaves and branches, "Like beating these two within an inch of their lives, just to prove a point."

Lee and Tenten, who were getting tired of Neji's dickhead routine, yanked him away from the rookies. Lee took the responsibility of taking away Neji, leaving Tenten there to apologize to the younger genin, particularly Hinata, "Sorry about that. As you can see, he's an asshole."

Hinata was about to reply to the apology, but surprisingly Naruto landed in front of her, almost making her trip over her own two feet, "Don't worry Tenten, Hinata, and everyone else, I'm putting him in the hospital. All I have to do is figure out how to rig the last stage of the exams so that I can match with him..." He assured as he walked with everyone, his eyes squinted in a thinking manner.

Tenten sighed with exasperation, "Naruto, you know I can't just let you try to do that, he still is my teammate and we would like to win this."

"Can't hear your desires to win over my plotting, get back to me in about five minutes." He replied with no hesitation.

Tenten deadpanned. Why did she have to get caught in between this? She wanted her team to win and come out relatively all right, yet she secretly wanted to see Naruto knock the shit out of Neji. She knew that he could do it, but Neji could do it as well. Even if she couldn't get him to admit it, Neji was actually slightly nervous about facing Naruto down, which is why he trained nonstop for the Chunin Exams.

One of them were bound to end up hospitalized, she just didn't know which one was it going to be. She didn't know which one she wanted it to be either.

Kami, why did this leave her with a bad feeling?

X.X.X.

 **Hi guys, next chapter is the first stage of the Exams. We got the pot bubbling now, it's gonna get wild.**

 **You all know that Naruto vs Neji is going to happen, but what about Deidara and Konan? Who else in Akatsuki might be there? How many jinchuuriki are going to show up? Will any jinchuuriki freak the fuck out?**

 **What about Orochimaru and pals? How will Kabuto avoid being noticed by Naruto or Tayuya? How will they kill Hiruzen? Why does Orochimaru like staring at Kimimaro's chest so much? What was Orochimaru and Danzo planning?**

 **Where's Sakon?**

 **Why does Naruto need enhanced eye sight?**

 **When will I actually give Tayuya some important screen time?**

 **Tune in next time to possibly have all of these questions addressed, folks. Read and review to make me happy, clue me in on how y'all feel about what's going on, and motivate me to update quicker. I swear a review is like a controlled drug substance to me.**

 **Also, shout out to that guest Fender Pick for that review. I was absolutely giddy reading that, and I love you deeply.**

 **Enough of this long ass AN though, I'm off to play Dark Souls 3 and try to hit the leader board again in Slither. Until next time, SPVNK out.**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor do I own any references made in this story. Shout out to all of y'all who catch my references, though. Y'all are the real ones that the world needs. Ugly God is coming up.

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 15: No Monogamy, Menage With Me (I think I spelled that right.)**

 **X.X.X.**

(Yukigakure)

The streets were abuzz with a festive air as shinobi, civilian, and merchant alike moved and hustled throughout the crowd, the heavy snowfall not dampening the mood at all. Children ran about playing with glowing toys, folks went from vendor to vendor trying all sorts of delicacies that they couldn't usually have, and couples walked hand in hand as they enjoyed the sights.

It was quite the noisy affair.

It was highly annoying.

Gaara walked down a crowded street with his siblings flanking him. The two were continuously talking about nothing, adding on to the already irritating atmosphere. He was so close to just murdering the two, but he didn't. They were here for a reason, and as much disdain as he held for the two, he wasn't about to make their trip all for naught.

"Kami, why did the exams have to be here? All of this snow is not healthy for me." Kankuro whined as he watched a multitude of cute girls pass by. He would've broken away from his siblings to go try to talk one of them, but this snow was really convincing him to stick close to them lest he get lost.

Temari strolled along with her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes once she heard Kankuro complain about the snow for the umpteenth time today. Even though they were all dressed for the climate here in Yukigakure, Kankuro still found a way to complain, "When are you going to shut up about the weather? You got the padded clothes underneath your usual outfit, so why are you so bitchy?" She said as she smirked at him before her eyes widened, "Oh, I think I know what it is!"

Flipping her the bird, the puppeteer scowled, "If it's another damn joke about my war paint..."

"Both of you. Enough."

Immediately shutting up due to not wanting to be suffocated by a large mass of sand, Temari and Kankuro took his warning as their cue to make themselves scarce. It was always the safer option to just run away from Gaara the minute he showed signs of irritation.

 **"So much blood around here... YOU'LL SLAUGHTER THEM ALL!"** A voice with a teeny tiny bit of insanity raged within the red-headed jinchuuriki's head. Not showing any outer signs of acknowledgement that he had a psychotic voice in his head, he continued walking with no particular direction in mind.

" _All of these people mother, they are weak. Too weak for you."_

 **"Then find some strong people! The stronger the better! I love seeing what you humans consider strong get that helpless look on their face once they get caught in our sand! It's absolutely orgasmic!"**

Gaara didn't exactly know what orgasmic meant, but he probably didn't need to know if nobody ever tried to tell him before he killed them for attempting to kill him. It wasn't that important to him.

But judging from the somewhat disturbing sounds, and they had to be pretty off-kilter if Gaara of all people found them dusturbing, it must have been of great importance to Mother.

Very well then, it was settled. Gaara was going to find the strongest shinobi in the competition and crush them beneath his heel, all so that Mother could experience some more of these orgasmic sensations that she seemed to be pleased with.

After daydreaming about the euphoric feeling previously mentioned, Shukaku stopped for a second before looking to Gaara's left, " **Holy shit, is that who I think it is?! Oh hell no!"** Within the metaphysical space that was Gaara's seal, Shukaku pinned his ears back and lowered down with his sandy teeth bared, " **Look to your left boy! There's prey over there. Now follow my instructions carefully, and go murder my sister and her host in cold blood because I told you to!"** The giant takuni ordered, wagging his tail about excitedly.

Gaara turned to look in that direction, his teal eyes cutting through the crowd and eventually resting on a woman surrounded by three people who appeared to be around his age, two of them having dark skin.

The woman that he was staring at had blond hair tied into a singular braid down her back, wore a short-sleeved black and purple blouse and black pants, had bandages wrapped around her arms and legs, had a chain of blue prayer beads wrapped around her arm, and a red rope tied around her waist. She seemed to be listening to the red-headed girl that walked with her, before she stopped and looked directly back at him, her dark eyes meeting his colorful eyes.

Both of the two had a tense stare off, their eyes narrowing at each other.

 **"Ooooo, Shukaku's crazy ass is here. Kitten, you think any of your kids stand a chance against that boy?"** Yugito's tenant, the Nibi, asked as she lounged about. If it were any of her other siblings, she would've showed a bit more interest, but it was her baby brother. His insanity wasn't exactly the biggest aspect of his personality to get excited about.

 _"I'd like to think so, just because he's a jinchuuriki doesn't mean he's unbeatable."_ Yugito thought as she ignored Omoi and Karui go back and forth over one of Omoi's extreme bouts of over thinking, _"You think he's something special?"_

The Nibi yawned, stretching in the classic cat-like manner, **"Any jinchuuriki is dangerous, kitten. For genin... aren't genin like the lowest leveled ninja?"** The giant, flaming cat asked.

Yugito nodded, prompting the Nibi to laugh uproariously, **"Yeah, tell your kids to avoid him unless absolutely necessary. That boy has Shukaku in him, and he's bat-shit insane so..."**

 _"Insanity doesn't mean anything. If anything, that should make him easier to take down since his host isn't in a stable state of mind, right?"_

 **"Kitten you're underestimating Shukaku and his tenant. Judging by how he's staring dead at us, he knows that you're a jinchuuriki as well."** The cat began to explain, only to widen her eyes once her and Yugito noticed the boy making his way towards them, **"...Shiiiiiit, he's coning this way. We wouldn't have a problem with killing him, but your kids would."**

Omoi, who was still going on and on about a possible test in the exam where he would have to kill his own team in order to be promoted, was knocked out of his tirade by Karui, who was gesturing to the short kid with the creepy eyes approaching them, "Oi, Omoi! Shut the fuck up, some kid is coming."

Once he arrived within a good distance, which was less than a foot away from Yugito, Gaara spent a good minute staring her down. His staring was not appreciated by Karui who stayed true to her hot-headed nature and tried to get into his face, "Oi, you got a staring problem or something?" She asked as she tried to poke him in the chest.

The keyword was tried, because the moment her arm stretched to go near Gaara, the cork on his sand gourd popped off before a decent amount of sand rushed out and stopped her hand. Everyone there with the exception of Gaara was understandably shocked at the sudden sand wall coming out.

Standing behind said wall, Gaara switched his gaze from Yugito to Karui, "Weaklings cannot touch me. You are a weakling." He closed his eyes for a second before opening them again, a clear amount of bad vibes emanating from his glare, "I'll be sure to kill you within the Chunin Exams. Your whole team will be suffocated by my sand. It will please Mother."

Okay, this kid was just a little crazy. But the question is, how did that sand come out so fast? He didn't even use hand seals, he just stood there and got protected.

Whatever, it didn't matter to Karui at the moment. What mattered was getting this weirdo away from them before she ended up doing something reckless, because his creepy habit of staring was really pissing her off, "Oi kid, go run along and stare at somebody else before I cut you and your sand to pieces!"

"Be silent weakling, you will have your death soon." He droned as the sand returned to the gourd, before pointing at Yugito, "Mother wants to see the look on your face when I crush you with sand. It will be absolutely orgasmic. Mother likes orgasmic things, so I will kill you and please her well." The shorter jinchuuriki stated in a dead tone, causing both the Kumo team and pedestrians walking by to both back away from the red head very slowly.

"Oh dear Kami, he's a pervert with a mommy fetish!" Karui exclaimed.

The blond on the team with the well endowed chest and blue eyes backed away as well, "Incest? Not cool."

Still sucking on his lollipop, Omoi pointed back and forth between the female members of his team and Gaara, "Oh man, this is bad! What if he really doesn't want to kill us? What if kill really meant have sex in his mind? Holy shit, he's going to get all of you pregnant! But wait, he looks too young... oh dear Kami! He's going to use the sand, that's the key! He'll get you pregnant with the sand, then nine months later you'll all have sand babies with red hair and mommy fetishes! Then Kumo and Suna will go to war because Suna wants to keep the sand babies, but you'll all be attached to your babies!"

A family of pedestrians were walking by when Gaara made his threat pertaining to pleasing his mother, and were absolutely shocked. The young son looked up at his father, who watched the black kids freak out and start ranting about sand babies, and poked him in the leg, "Um, father? What's a mommy fetish?"

The father wasted no time in clasping his hands around his innocent son's ears, "Shh son, don't ask questions. These shinobi are some sick fucks. That boy doesn't even look like he hit puberty, and he's already a sexual deviant..." His eyes narrowed at Gaara before he turned to his wife, "And you, woman!"

"Me?"

"You can bet your sweet mippy I'm talking about you! You better stay clothed around the house unless you want to get the boy started on a mommy fetish too! Do you want sand babies from your own son?! Answer me, woman!"

"No, no sand babies!"

"Good, now let's get the fuck outta here before he tries to please his mother in public!" The father yelled as he dragged his family away from the twisted shinobi.

Yugito tried to calm her twitching eyebrow down, but it wasn't working. This kid was a little off after all.

 **"Told you he might be crazy, kitten."** Nibi said in between fits of laughter. On second thought, she was glad her little brother was here because entertainment like this couldn't be found nowhere else without Shukaku.

"Um, kid," Yugito started slowly as she looked the weird jinchuuriki, "You should probably go somewhere else now, you're creeping everyone around us out." She then gestured to the crowd of people that were trying their hardest to not come within twenty-seven feet of the weird kid with the gourd on his back.

"Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep. I could care less about how they feel." Gaara countered as he crossed his arms and closed his eyes, "What does matter is me crushing all of the weaklings who dare to threaten my existence."

Everyone there could feel the blood lust rising from the boy, and understandably grew uncomfortable. Samui, the resident blond on Karui and Omoi's team, didn't break her composure in spite of the growing killing intent, "Your killing intent seems familiar." Very familiar.

Like jinchuuriki familiar. She would know since she's seen both Yugito-sensei and Bee-sensei in action utilizing their biju chakra...

Shaking off her initial fear, Karui eventually caught on to what her sister in arms was saying, and gasped as her eyes widened in realization, "Aw shit!" She hissed. The exams started in thirty minutes and yet they were already facing an obstacle.

They didn't have to for long though, because a swirl of golden dust appeared right beside Gaara, revealing the figure who performed the impressive entrance to be none other than the Fourth Kazekage. He looked around to survey the crowd, gauging their reactions to Gaara's intent.

He also noticed his son's intent spike even higher once he arrived, yet he didn't act on it.

"Gaara, stand down. You are causing a scene, and the local shinobi force does not appreciate it." Rasa ordered as he gestured to the shinobi on the rooftops above them, as well as the shinobi gliding around with strange chakra-powered contraptions.

Gaara turned to glare at his father for interrupting his chance to satisfy his Mother, but inwardly showed a small amount of surprise at what his father said next, "The exams are to begin in thirty minutes. Be patient my son, for you will have your chance to slaughter the competition soon enough."

Even though he was technically being given the green light to do as he pleases once the thirty minutes were over, Gaara was still a bit miffed. Then again, it wasn't that big of a deal, so he turned away and disappeared in a swirl of sand, unintentionally allowing everyone there to breathe a sigh of relief.

Once he sent Gaara away, he noticed the shinobi on the buildings disperse, the ones flying gliding away as well. More than likely they were going to trail him and make sure that he didn't cause any more problems.

He only hoped that the fools weren't brazen enough to persuade Gaara not to do anything through intimidation or force.

Yugito strolled forward to to Kazekage, "Kazekage-sama, I'd like to thank you for stepping in and diffusing that situation." The last thing she was trying to do is go full biju mode in the snow to fight an insane jinchuuriki.

Hearing the blond woman from Kumo address him, Rasa turned to her, taking a moment to look behind her at what he presumed to be her genin, "Those are your genin, correct?" He asked, choosing not to acknowledge the thanks.

Yugito looked behind her then faced the Kazekage, nodding in confirmation.

He nodded as well, "My advice is to take them out right now, because Gaara will more likely be looking for them. He will kill them once he gets the chance to." With his piece spoken, he left the scene in a swirl of golden dust.

"That was the Fourth Kazekage..." Omoi began as he took his trademark sucker out of his mouth, "He called that Gaara guy son... holy shit, what if Gaara actually does try to kill us? Then we fight tooth and nail, and come out on top, only for the Kazekage to declare war on us for defending ourselves against his son! Then we go to war, and Raikage-sama has us executed for starting it!"

"Omoi, shut the fuck up!"

Samui ignored her two teammates as she stood beside Yugito-sensei, "Yugito-sensei, your thoughts on that boy?"

Her thoughts? The Nibi was right, he was probably above the average genin's pay grade. But then again, Bee's kids weren't the average genin...

"If you encounter him, take extreme caution when dealing with him. The minute it looks like one of you are about to die, do everything in your power to get yourselves away from him. He is a jinchuuriki, and I don't want to return home with the news of one of you dying because you didn't know when to retreat."

Samui closed her eyes as she processed her senior's words, "He's that strong..."

"Probably stronger than what you think he is. Don't let Karui bite off more than she could chew, you know she's the hot head of the group."

Samui nodded.

Yugito rounded the kids up and headed to the south of the village where the building for the first portion of the test was being held. If only she were paying further attention, she would've noticed the tanned kunoichi with mint-green hair trailing behind her team.

X.X.X.

(With the Konoha Gang)

"Hey Sasuke, wanna do something stupid before we gotta get serious?"

"No dobe, no stupid stuff."

"Aww, come on! You know you want to!"

"Lemme go ahead and stop this before they actually do something stupid. Troublesome." Shikamaru groaned as he snatched Naruto away from Sasuke, placing the blond on his right. The whole Rookie Nine were all walking around together to see the sights before it was time to get down to business.

Sakura walked beside Sasuke as she eyed the Uchiha and Naruto, "It's not like Sasuke would've went for anything that Naruto was planning." The dead stares from Shikamaru, Tayuya, and even Kiba caused her to eye Sasuke suspiciously, "Really Sasuke?"

Watching his blond best friend absorb all of the festive atmosphere, Shikamaru shoved his hands into his olive-green jacket pockets, "You said it wrong. They never plan, it just starts off exactly how you just saw. Then Naruto gives up, disappears for a second, then Sasuke disappears too in an effort to keep track of Naruto."

Tayuya nodded as she chimed in, "Yup, then it all goes to shit from there. Those two could probably bring down a village if left unchecked." She said as she noticed the lack of Uzumaki in the group, "Damn it! Where the fuck did he go?!"

"I'll go find him, an out of sight Naruto is a future headache waiting to happen." Sasuke volunteered, frowning once he noticed that his movement was halted by forces unseen, "Really Shikamaru?"

Wrapping his arm around Sasuke's shoulder, Kiba chuckled, "Didn't we _just_ explain how shit gets out of hand with you two? You almost played the whole scene out that quick dude!"

Sasuke looked at the amused faces of everyone within the group, and couldn't help but frown at being pegged so easily. Stupid dobe trying to get him involved in stupid shit, "All right, I'll leave the dobe to his own devices. Now let me go Shikamaru."

After letting Sasuke go, the Nara rubbed the back of his neck as the entourage continued to walk, "Troublesome blond. He'll catch up eventually, the exam starts in less than thirty minutes."

"Y-you don't think that Naruto-kun will get into any trouble, do you?" Hinata asked as she looked at a group of civilian children run past them.

All of the remaining members of the Rookie Nine looked at each other, sharing pensive glances as they mulled over Hinata's question. The group fell into a rather ominous silence as they evaluated Naruto's personality and habits.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Shit."

"Damn it!"

"NARUTOOOOOO!"

In a nearby restaurant, Naruto dug a pinky in his ear as he waited in line for some interesting new food. It was from the far west apparently, and it smelled delicious.

He heard Sakura scream his name, but her and Tayuya verbally ripping him a new one could wait. Food was the top priority at the moment.

He wasn't the only person in the restaurant, however, "Look at that blond kid, Kurotsuchi. He pulls off all black nicely, don't you think?"

"Holy shit, I thought I saw him for a second... you don't think?"

"Come to think of it, he does resemble him a lot. Think they could be related?"

"If they are related, superb fashion taste aside, I'm going after him in the Chunin Exams!"

Turning to his right, Naruto snapped his fingers at the trio that were whispering about him, "Oi, get better at whispering. I can hear you talk about me."

Kurotsuchi almost saw red for a second. How dare this little Fourth Hokage clone tell her to get better? She immediately shot up out of her seat and stormed over to Naruto, glaring right into his blue eyes, "You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that." She growled through clenched teeth.

Naruto looked at her blankly before holding a finger up to stop any further words, "Hold that thought for a sec." He then made his way to the counter and placed his order, "Hey, how's it hanging? So this food is from the west, huh? What are those little red circles on the triangle?"

As Kurotsuchi stood there with her eye rapidly twitching, her two teammates were almost dying of laughter. The other female oh the team, who had brown-colored skin, shoulder-length black dreads in a ponytail, and red eyes, fell out of her chair due to her laughter, "Why is it so easy to get her to embarrass herself like that?" She managed to get out in between laughs.

The male, who had a bulbous nose, a yellow scarf, a dopey expression, and a traditional Iwa bandanna on his head wiped a tear from under his eye, "She's always hostile, it's so easy to set her off!"

Hearing her teammates enjoy themselves at her expense, Kurotsuchi flipped them the bird as she leveled a glare at them, "Shut up you idiots!" Kami, why couldn't they just be on her side for once? Did they not see who she was trying to mark for execution? He was a spitting image of the Fourth Hokage for fuck's sake!

She turned around to see Naruto standing there with some triangular food, eating away as if there wasn't a care in the world. The little shit hasn't even done anything major yet and she already developed a penchant for some good old-fashioned child murder, "You think you're really funny, don't you brat?"

Taking another bite of his slice and nodding appreciatively at the taste, Naruto shrugged, "I might. Think you're really intimidating, don't you dude?"

Even her teammates stopped their laughter to look at him funny. If the Iwa kunoichi's eyebrow was twitching before, it was basically having a full-blown seizure at this point, "D-dude?! You think I'm a boy?"

Finishing off his crust, the jinchuuriki squinted as he dusted off his hands and looked at the Iwa ninja with the questionable gender, "Before I answer that, hold up for me again." He strolled back over to the counter once he noticed that there wasn't a line and propped himself up on the counter by his elbows, "Yo, these are great! Lemme get two more of those, my good man!"

Kurotsuchi was already in a murder trance as soon as he turned around, slowly going through seals in order to turn her new bane of existence into a smoking carcass. She'd kill him right now, him and that vendor. There were no other witnesses within the restaurant. No other eyes to witness the justified murder of the annoying Fourth Hokage clone. No other eyes to witness the justified slaughter of the foolish merchant who indirectly helped the blond piss her off with his interesting, delicious-smelling triangles. No other eyes to witness the satisfaction she would get from killing them both.

Good.

She was already on the rat seal when her female companion came up and separated her hands, "Kurotsuchi, no need to try and kill the guy. Knowing you, you'd accidentally kill the food guy, too."

"There are no innocents." Kurotsuchi said with an eerily calm demeanor as she stared at her target. One could liken her act of creepily watching Naruto to that of a large cat watching their prey enjoy it's last moments on Earth, thinking about how satisfying it would be to watch the life drain from his eyes.

"She's really fixated on this kid, huh?" Akatsuchi mused as walked up to stand with his teammates, sizing Naruto up from where he stood. His appearance didn't give any indicator of what his abilities could be, so Akatsuchi didn't know how dangerous he was.

But then again, he could just be complete garbage as a shinobi. They'd find out soon enough though.

"Of course she is," The other dreaded kunoichi on the team sigh with a roll of the eyes, "Anything Konoha related is enough to get her panties in a bunch, but him?" She said, titling her head at Naruto who was blissfully unaware of just how screwed he was, "He looks like the Fourth, he's already annoying her, and he mistook her for a boy..."

"Yeah, you're right Nishi. He's as good as dead." Akatsuchi confirmed, watching the boy walk back over to them.

Polishing off another slice, Naruto finally gave some of his attention to the disgruntled genin in front of him, "So, you're not a boy?"

"Why the fuck do you think I'm one?!"

He looked her over once more, then looked at her darker teammate, momentarily becoming entranced by her crimson eyes, "Wow, you have some really pretty eyes. Is that natural, or is it a result of a kekkei genkai or something? 'Cause wow." He whispered, inspecting her figure. She wore a standard Iwa-styled shirt, which had one sleeve longer than usual while the other was almost non-existent, but it was cut at the midriff. It would've exposed her stomach, but she wore a black, fitting thermal underneath it, covering her arm and stomach.

Her lower body consisted of a pair of red pants that fitted her as well, yet one leg was cut in the middle of the thigh, leaving that side to resemble shorts.

Nishi found it adorable that he became so caught up in her appearance. Now that she got a close look at him, she couldn't deny that he was a cutie too. A bit on the short side and probably a year or two younger than her, but still cute, "Aww, the future corpse has a little crush on me. So adorable!" She squealed in mock excitement, wanting to get a rise out of him in order to stick up for her teammate.

Naruto knew when someone was being sarcastic, and instantly killed any sign of weakness that he just displayed. He didn't even look away with reddened cheeks like one would expect him to, instead just staring blankly at Nishi, "Way to kill a mood. Well, I got what I came for." He said as he made his way to the door. He really did walk away with what he wanted, plus more.

That food was spot on, which was originally what he came in here for. An avid lover of food and simple things he was, but Naruto was, at his core, an opportunist with a sadistic streak courtesy of Orochimaru as well. He never showed it outwardly, but he was always taking in the smallest details in every situation, eager to find a way to flip it and allow him to come out on top. This chance encounter with those Iwa genin was no exception.

Immediately finding an exploitable target with the girl who clearly had the biggest axe to grind with him, Naruto knew he had some good info to come back to his team with. She'd more than likely come after them, particularly him, while they were out there participating. She also seemed to be the hotheaded type, so it wouldn't be too difficult to get her to slip up.

It kind of grated on his nerves that the other kunoichi was able to get him to break his usual facade so easily, but it didn't matter.

If the whispers of him looking like the Fourth and spirited declarations to get him meant anything, it let Naruto know for certain that this wasn't going to be play time. Maybe it was Konoha that kind of softened him up, but there was a bit of ruthlessness that resided within him, laying dormant until he truly felt the need to flex his claws.

Well now was the time. Naruto Uzumaki was trained by the most evil ninja he ever met, and now was the time to show that. If they weren't Konoha aligned, with Neji being the obvious exception, then they had a green light on their lives.

Sparing them one last glance before he exited the building, he eyed Kurotsuchi in particular, narrowing his eyes in a calculating, cold gaze, maliciously smirking once he saw her glare at him. It seemed that mimicking the Fourth Hokage by narrowing his eyes made her even more upset.

Good.

The Iwa trio all watched the boy leave. Seething with palpable anger, Kurotsuchi clenched her fist tightly, "I'm _so_ going to kill him."

Nishi and Akatsuchi knew that's what she wanted, but they knew that there was more to that boy than what meets the eye. Crossing his arms over one another, Akatsuchi turned to face his allies, "You guys saw the way he completely changed once Nishi started taunting him? That was creepy." In less than a second, he went from mischievous brat to stoic killer, sizing them up as future victims.

"So he has a split personality or a facade or something, big whoop." Nishi droned, inwardly frowning at Naruto's leaving statement. It was an obvious one, but his show of looking at Kurotsuchi like that held a purpose. It wasn't the average intimidation attempt that a normal genin would try to pull. Usually genin would try to flaunt whatever power they had towards another in an antagonizing fashion, but he didn't stick into that mold.

No, he wasn't the average genin at all...

"Kurotsuchi, you don't need to worry about going after him." Nishi told her, narrowing her eyes in contemplation. She had a very large suspicion that Naruto was above the threshold for the usual genin. Kurotsuchi was no average genin, hell none of them were, but there was something about him.

Kurotsuchi looked at her friend, "Why the hell not? I really want to put him in the damn dirt!" She exclaimed, waving her hands about in the air.

Akatsuchi placed a hand on Kurotsuchi's shoulder, chuckling as he cupped his chin, "He pisses you off this bad? Sheesh, I'd hate to be him."

Eyes widening once she ran through all that happened during their recent encounter, Nishi pointed directly at Kurotsuchi, "That's it, that's exactly why!" She then pinched the ridge of her nose in frustration, "God damn it."

"Oi, mind telling us what the hell you're talking about?!" Clearly someone was still a tad bit miffed.

"He knows that he gets under your skin end pisses you off easily, so he's more than likely going to be watching out for you to exploit that." Nishi explained.

"So he already has an edge over us while we really have nothing on him." Akatsuchi deduced, seeing why Nishi reacted that way, "Damn, old man Tsuchikage would chew you all the way out for giving a potential enemy such intel."

She was so pissed, Kurotsuchi didn't even care about the potential punishment. All she wanted was to kill that boy.

He'd be dead by the end of the exams. She'd make sure of it.

X.X.X.

(Testing site, Yukigakure)

"What's that boy, you smell lots of foul chakra?" Kiba asked Akamaru as he looked around the crowded, yet massive room that all of the genin teams were currently standing in. Four large pillars connected the roof to the floor while also providing points for many teams to congregate around.

Watching the dog sniff the air, Shino looked around curiously, noticing that his bugs were reporting the same from several individuals within the room. It bothered him that out of everyone around him, he never noticed the foul chakra within Naruto.

He'd have to look into this further, as well as keeping an eye out for the other two genin, "Akamaru is correct. Why, you may ask? Simple. My kikaichu tell me that there are several notable individuals taking the exams as well."

Hinata looked at her teammates, poking her fingers together, "Ano, how d-do you think we'll do?" It's not that she didn't have any confidence in her team, because they've come a far way since they graduated from the academy.

No, it was because of the high challenge presented to them. According to her sensei as well as the other jonin and Hokage-sama himself, the exams have never been on this scale before. The pressure was always on a shinobi the minute they became one, and it would only increase as they advanced in rank. Genin faced some of the worst pressure of their careers when they went through the exams due to all that they had riding on them.

That pressure was magnified exponentially due to the sheer size of these particular exams. A joint effort between all of the major shinobi villages, plus several of the smaller ones? In a village that an exam has never been hosted in?

Kami.

Kiba noticed that Hinata was showing signs of doubt and did his best to immediately shut it down, "We're going to kick ass! The competition might as well drop out since we're gonna win the whole damn thing!" His boisterous exclamations brought a smile to her face, but also brought the attention of everyone there to their team.

As expected of human beings trained to kill other people, many didn't take kindly to Kiba's attitude and displayed that clearly by blasting all sorts of killing intent their way.

"Poor Hinata, she just had to be on a team with dog breath. Now everybody probably wants to kill them." Tayuya sighed as her team watched everyone try to kill Team Eight with their glares alone.

Eyes squinted, Naruto watched as well before surveying the room yet again, blowing a kiss when his eyes met Kurotsuchi's. Despite the amusing visual of her strangling the air in front of her, he didn't linger on her for too long, opting to continue his recon on the competition. Once his eyes landed on a tanned girl with mint green hair, he scratched his temple curiously, _"There's something about her..."_

 **"Oh Kami, the ningen is experiencing puberty. You must think she's pretty. Would you like to ask her to be your mate?"** Kyuubi droned, rolling his eyes at his container's fixation on the girl. He knew that his sibling was inside of her, but Naruto probably didn't. Since he didn't yet catch on to the fact that there were other jinchuuriki in this snowy village, the Kyuubi was confused on why Naruto spent so much of his time looking at everyone.

Oh well, it was of no consequence. The child was already weird, no need to drive himself mad trying to figure out what made his container tick.

Naruto rolled his eyes once he heard the biju speak in his head, _"No, she's strong. Which means she's competition, competition that I should keep an eye out for."_ Anybody that he could tell was strong just by looking at them was someone to be watched and possibly killed.

 **"Hmm, fair point... want to know** _ **why**_ **she's probably that strong?"**

 _"You wouldn't tell me without gaining something from this."_ Naruto deadpanned, aware of the fox's true nature.

 **"Can't I just try to be nice out of the kindness of my heart for once?"** The lack of response he received was enough to let him know that Naruto wasn't buying it, **"At least you aren't foolish enough to think I'll just help you like that."** Nobody received freebies from him, he had a reputation to maintain and uphold.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Naruto dismissed out loud as he continued to look around, taking note of several key individuals in the room, "Just sit back and enjoy the ride."

 **"Remind yourself of who it is that you speak to, boy. Better yet, whenever you need help, I'll just make you beg for it."** With his stance made clear, the Kyuubi retreated back into his usual mode of silence observation, shaking his head. The poor fool didn't realize just how _unfortunate_ he was if this whole thing went haywire. Not only was Shukaku and Chomei here, Matatabi and Gyuuki were here.

Five jinchuuriki all in the same place at once, and judging by the fact that only Shukaku and Chomei were in the immediate vicinity, Gyuuki and Matatabi were inside containers who were above the brat in both rank and power. They couldn't be from the same village as Naruto, so that added another two potential enemies that could destroy him.

Great. Enemies all around and Naruto was completely clueless to just how catastrophic things could turn out. Not that his well-being mattered to the fox in an actual attachment kind of way, but their existences were tied in. If Naruto died, the Kyuubi would die for a while.

Survival was the priority here, even if he had to... ugh, help the boy out.

"So dickhead," Tayuya said casually to Naruto, "We got a game plan here, or are we just winging it?"

"Shouldn't you be asking Shikamaru that? He's the one with the strategic mind, I'm just here to potentially cripple people." Naruto replied.

Noticing the two shift their attention to him, the strategist in question rolled his eyes, "I didn't even bother coming up with one." He saw the looks of surprise he received and grunted, "No first plan ever survives initial contact with the enemy, so why bother? Hell, we don't even know what the hell we're supposed to be getting into until it starts, so I say we just wing it." If the need ever presented itself, they'd come up with something easily.

"I like your thinking, my pineapple-headed friend." The blond on the team stated, "But I actually do have a plan. Well, less of a plan and more of a style of operation." The devious smirk didn't fill Shikamaru up with a feeling that things were going to be easy.

As Tayuya planted her hands on her hips, she raised an eyebrow at the smirk. She hasn't seen him smirk like that since they were under Orochimaru's banner, "And what might this plan entail?"

"Ruthlessness is the name of our game. Give a chance to surrender. If they don't take it and they're not from our neck of the woods, put them down at any means necessary."

"Killing the competition, huh?" Sasuke quipped as he and his team approached Naruto and the gang, "Feeling a bit bloodthirsty, dobe?"

Sakura looked appalled at Naruto's suggestion, "Why the hell would you say that?" She hissed, trying to avoid the rest of the room overhearing their conversation.

"'Cause Sakura, I've been too soft. I wanna get my edge back, that killer instinct that I've been holding back for so long." He explained as he sat there with a thoughtful expression, eventually looking all of Team Seven in the eyes, "You guys should, too."

Sasuke mulled over it for a second before nodding, "He's right."

"No no no nonono! Sasuke, what the hell?!" Sakura screeched as she grabbed him by his shirt and shook him back and forth. Back in the days, she would've gotten nowhere near close enough to even touch him, but ever since the tragic death, they'd grown a lot closer as time passed. Close enough for her to do this without Sasuke treating her like a disease and staying as far away as possible.

"It makes sense." Shikamaru said as he rubbed his neck, "These are genin from other villages, and genin tend to make up the bulk of a village's forces. Even though we aren't in wartime, cutting the competition down would be pretty beneficial in the long run."

"But it's... so cruel. I mean, look around. The majority of us are kids." Sakura tried to point out as she gestured to all of the others within the room. They weren't savage animals, they were human beings, so why resort to such casual killing?

"So?" Sasuke, Tayuya, Shikamaru, and Naruto responded in unison.

Seeing that the majority was in favor of being as brutal as possible, Sakura sighed and grabbed her forehead, "Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only sane one."

Choji raised his hand, "I'm pretty sane too, Sakura."

A finger pointed into his face said otherwise, "Bullshit, you didn't try to talk them out of their insanity! If you don't try to fix the problem, then you are the problem!" Sakura exclaimed, not noticing the looks that they were getting.

"All right brats, shut the hell up and pay attention! It's time to get this started!" All conversations ceased due to the powerful voice that demanded everyone's attention. Towards the far end of the room, an opened set of large doors had several shinobi from the major and minor villages standing, being flanked by Yukigakure shinobi.

The previous speaker waited until everyone settled down to speak again, "I'm Ibiki Morino, the head proctor for the first portion of the exams." He looked around the room before flashing a bloodthirsty grin, "And you're all my bitches as of now."

The potent killing intent that was radiating off of Ibiki and the other proctors didn't fill any of the genin with any warm feelings.

X.X.X.

(Konoha I&T Department)

"Five ryo says that Inoichi is gonna melt his brain."

"Fuck that baby-ass bet, hundred ryo says that Inoichi is going to turn him into a child mentally."

"Shouldn't you two be doing something productive?" Inoichi asked with a stern tone as he entered the room.

The two chunin froze in their tracks as they stood around Sakon's table. Not wanting to be subjected to the wrath of the resident Yamanaka, the two promptly left the room, leaving Inoichi alone with his potential victim.

"About time those two left, hearing them talk was so painful. Ugh, I'm in enough pain as it is." Sakon mumbled to himself as he watched what he assumed to be a higher ranked leaf shinobi approach him, "So let me guess. You're here to be all big, bad, and intimidating to get whatever info you want out of me by any means necessary. We're going to have all the physical torture fun, right?"

Inoichi just stood in front of him, staring into the teen's eyes.

Sakon spit into his face in response to the staring. That shit was creepy, "Oi, fuck you! Quit staring at me! Let's just get this torture shit over with."

The Yamanaka continued to stand there. He didn't even wipe the spit away, which threw Sakon off. Inoichi inwardly smirked once he saw Sakon try to inch away from him, even though it was nigh impossible.

The teen was still for all intents and purposes crippled, courtesy of Naruto, and he was strapped down completely to a table. If he managed to get anywhere under those circumstances, he deserved his freedom.

Finally gaining the slightest amount of psychological ground, Inoichi placed a hand on Sakon's chest, "Physical torture isn't my cup of tea, my boy." He slid his fingers up to his victim's chin ever so slowly, "Oh no, I like to use far more... pervasive methods." He smoothly stated as he poked Sakon's lips with two fingers. Hopefully that would unnerve him even further.

Oh fuck no! This guy was gonna have his way with him? Shit! If only his head wasn't strapped down either, he could've tried to bite this homo's fingers off.

As if he was already inside Sakon's mind, Inoichi let out a creepy chuckle that reminded Sakon of Orochimaru, "It's frightening, isn't it? Trapped, crippled, all alone in a room with a grown man that could do whatever he wanted to do to you. And you're powerless to fight back, can't defend yourself against anything I do..." Inoichi's hands wrapped around the visibly alarmed teen's neck as he lowered himself down to whisper in his ear, "I can be a lot more gentle with my ministrations if you help me out with a couple of questions I have."

"What the fuck do you want?!"

"Everything you know about Naruto Uzumaki." Inoichi growled, his grip on Sakon's neck growing tighter subconsciously once he said that name, "I want everything that you can tell me. Bonus points are awarded to any bits of info that pertain to his weaknesses." His grip was steadily growing tighter the more and more he thought about Naruto.

If it weren't for him, his baby might still be here...

"Can't... speak if... I'm choked to... death!" Sakon managed to wheeze out. Kami, this guy could give Jirobo a run for his money in the strength department based off of his grip alone.

"Right, right. I tend to forget that from time to time." Inoichi droned while he loosened his grip slightly. From the sound of his voice, it sounded like he was telling the truth.

As he regained a comfortable amount of oxygen, Sakon looked at Inoichi suspiciously, "Shouldn't you be asking me about Orochimaru's bases and shit? His plans and whatnot?" Granted, he really didn't know Orochimaru's plans unless he was tasked with carrying them out, but the line of questioning he was trying to get at was pretty weird.

"Make no mistake, I'm going to get that part regardless." He stated with the utmost conviction, cupping Sakon's face and stroking his cheek to unnerve him even more, "But depending on how helpful you are with telling me all I need to know this visit will determine how gentle or rough I am during the next visit. So please, be smart. Or not, because I'm going to make you uncomfortable regardless."

Okay, they definitely had some crazy ass people in Konoha, there was no denying that. He doubted that anybody would come in and check on what was going on if he started screaming, so this guy really had full reign to do whatever pleased him. Not good at all.

Kami, the thought of being alone with this creep made him so fucking uncomfortable, he honestly couldn't decide who he'd rather be around, this bastard, or Orochimaru...

"... So if I spill the beans on Naruto, you aren't going to rape me or anything, right?" Sakon asked.

Rape? This child seriously thought that he was going to commit such a foul act?

Damn, he wanted the psychological edge, but he didn't expect to have it due to that. Then again, doing the things that he did to a strapped down child would probably give anybody in that position the wrong idea.

Either way, there was still a clear advantage that needed to be exploited in order to learn what he wanted to learn. Morality and what little bit of sympathy he held for this child had to be pushed to the side for now.

Deciding not to deny nor confirm the boy's question to keep him scared, Inoichi simply crossed his arms, "I'd like to know what I want to know. Either tell me now or suffer even more later." He stared directly into Sakon's eyes, his hardened features and stony gaze not promising anything pleasant for Sakon's future, "You'll be very uncomfortable in your own skin by the time I'm through with you if I don't get the information I need quickly."

The rising killing intent made Sakon shiver for a second. Shivering aside, the intent leveled onto him helped him make a decision rather quickly.

"... Here's what I remember from him being with us."

X.X.X.

(With Asuma and Kurenai)

Yawning, Asuma rolled off of the comfy bed he was in. Once he realized that he was no longer in the bed beside Kurenai, he shook his head, bringing himself down from the post-sex high he was enjoying. He stumbled to the bathroom on the far side of the hotel room before hearing Kurenai sigh, "Babe, why do we keep us a secret again?"

He ran some warm water and soap over his hands to clean them, "You know why, we talk about this everytime we get together." Deciding to forgo the sink wash, he turned the shower on instead, hopping in once the steam started to become visible.

"So what if people could use our relationship against us, we're adults and we're jonin." Kurenai argued as she strolled into the bathroom as well, joining her beau in the shower the minute she saw the water dripping down his tanned body.

"I'd rather be safe than sorry Kurenai, we already live a dangerous life as it is. Besides, I'd hate to lose you over somebody with a vendetta against me." The Sarutobi explained, smiling once he noticed his secret lover kissing his neck from behind, "Here I am, trying to clean up and shit while you're trying to start things up again. You know that's my weak spot."

"Your point being?" Kurenai asked mischievously as she reached around and got a handful of what she was looking for, "Don't tell me you're not up to the task of going for round three. The legendary Asuma Sarutobi... can't outlast his woman in the bedroom." She teased, hoping to egg him into it.

Ah, the classic tactic of stroking his ego to get him to do what she wanted. Granted, the other stroking she was doing was working as well, but the calling him out part was what sealed the deal.

Kurenai let out a surprised yelp the minute she found herself picked up and pinned against the wet wall. She let out a moan as well once Asuma started kissing her neck as well. Kami, she loved when he got extra aggressive and started biting her.

Once he got done attacking her neck, Asuma pressed his forehead against hers, gave her a quick kiss and lip bite, and grinned hungrily, "Never, _ever_ doubt my endurance again girl."

Not wanting to just give up the teasing just yet, Kurenai bit his bottom lip in return, "You haven't proven your point yet. Actions speak louder than words, big boy..."

Within a matter of minutes, sounds of pleasure and a good amount of shit talking mixed in with the sounds of the shower. The sounds were so loud that neither of the jonin heard the door to the room being knocked on.

"Kurenaaaaai? Are you awake? Are you asleep? Let me in, I'm booored!" The voice of Anko said quite loudly. After a good two minutes of not receiving any type of response, Anko decided to enter the room anyway ninja style.

By picking the lock and sneaking in.

"I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my dominance as your best friend by coming in anyway!" She proclaimed as she entered the room, swinging her arms about in a grandiose manner. She noticed the lack of Kurenai within her field of view, as well as the sounds coming from the bathroom.

 _"Hmm, should I be a pervert and catch her in the act?"_

...

...

 _"Of course I should, what pair of close friends don't wanna see each other naked?"_ With her mind made, she made her way to the bathroom door stealthily. Peeking in, her eyes went wide, while a downright dastardly smile etched itself onto her face, _"If this ain't blackmail material, I don't know what is."_

She let the two go on for a couple more minutes before letting her presence be known, "Damn Kurenai-chan, I didn't know that you talked shit during sex. Honestly, it's kinda hot hearing you guys go at it."

The two lovers paused and looked to the doorway in horror. Seeing the last person that needed to see them like this filled them with dread.

"... We're so fucked, aren't we?"

"I mean, if anything Kurenai is the one who got fucked." Anko quipped cheekily, laughing at the two trying, but failing miserably, to preserve each other's modesty. Moments like these made her day.

Being in a position of power by holding something over people's heads, therefore making them her bitches, made her day even more. It almost even turned her on, "So... you two do realize that you're going to be my bitches for a bit if you want me to keep this under wraps, right?"

"Anko, I'll kill you."

"You know I will too, especially after that stunt you pulled awhile back with my cigarettes." Asuma growled at he used Kurenai for a sexy shield to keep Anko from seeing him. It's not like he had anything to be ashamed of, because he didn't at all. Kurenai could attest to that.

Even though the teenage fantasy of his that involved him getting caught in the act by another equally beautiful woman that ended with her joining in was running through his mind right now, now was not the time to try to make that happen. They were both caught with their pants down, literally and figuratively, and needed to find a way to keep her from spilling the secret.

Still, if that actually happened right now, Asuma would forever hold bragging rights whenever him, Kakashi, and Gai got together to hang out and brag about their exploits.

"I don't think you two are in the position to threaten me... even though I did like watching you in those other positions."

"Kami, Anko." Kurenai sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "What do you want?"

Anko in response looked the naked couple up and down, smirking at the water still running down their bodies courtesy of the shower. She cupped her chin as though she was seriously contemplating what to ask for, "Hmm, what do I want? Can I join in?" She quickly asked, dropping her trench coat straight to the floor.

Kurenai and Asuma's jaws dropped as Anko strolled over to them. The red-eyed beauty in the room then narrowed her eyes savage craned her neck to the side to make sure that Asuma knew that she was talking specifically to him.

"Did I just feel it get hard and jump?" She asked with venom laced in her tone

Asuma was currently sweating bullets. His fantasy was this close, just right on the edge, but his girlfriend wasn't having any of it. Damn it! Why did he have to be such a faithful guy?!

Anko interrupted the questioning by tracing a finger down Kurenai's chest, "Hey, lady with your biggest secret at the moment trying to seduce you two into a kinky, steamy, shower threesome. Pay attention to meeee!" Kurenai turned to glare at her friend, trying her hardest to ignore her boyfriend's erection poking her in the back.

"You cannot join in, Anko! That's just... no!" Kurenai shot her down. Her red cheeks from all of the embarrassment she was currently experiencing was the wrong kind of weakness that needed to be shown.

"Are those red cheeks I see? I bet the others are even redder with all that smacking I heard."

"Shut up! Get out!"

Anko rolled her eyes once she got done laughing at Kurenai's expense, "Fine, I'll be waiting on your bed, in position." She looked at Asuma next, licking her lips eagerly, "I hope you got enough energy for me Smokestack, I need at least five rounds to get me started." She said with a wink as she left the bathroom.

After hearing the bed springs move due to Anko probably jumping onto the bed, Asuma cut the shower off, "Well, what's the plan? Because I have a sugges-."

"If we have this three-way with Anko, you and Gai have to spit roast me twice a week." Kurenai stated. She smiled once she noticed the look of horror coming from her boyfriend, "Exactly."

Shuddering from the thought of experiencing that, Asuma exited the shower, getting towels for him and Kurenai. He dried off for a bit as he watched Kurenai stand there and think, "So..."

"I'll just genjutsu her into thinking it happened, no way am I signing us up for that." The genjutsu specialist said as she went through hand seals. Once she completed the last one, she whispered the name of her technique before turning around to face Asuma, "Wait for it..."

"Oh my, I didn't think you'd guys actually go for this! Kurenai, you're going down on me? Well then! Smokestack, I need my mouth occupied!"

Kami, why couldn't they actually just go do it for real? That sounded so right to the Sarutobi at the moment.

Placing her hands onto her hips, Kurenai stood proudly, "See, problem solved. I made it so that she's going to pass out soon. When she wakes up, it'll be one big foggy dream to her."

On the outside, Asuma was ecstatic that a crisis was avoided.

But on the inside, he was thoroughly pissed. Kami, why did Anko have to be so hot?

"So, since she's preoccupied, want to finish what we had going earlier?"

... He could be pissed later.

X.X.X.

(Back With Tayuya and the Gang)

"All right, this sounds pretty simple." Tayuya shrugged as her and her team, as well as every other participating team, stood in a line and absorbed their instructions. For the first part of the test, all of the participants were to come to a unanimous decision within their teams on a question about their resolve on what they might be facing.

Squinting his eyes, Naruto frowned while looking at the three flags that the teams were supposed to stand at to represent their respective answer choices, "A little too easy. Where's the action? The pulse-pounding moments of conflict?" He was all riled up and ready to beat the headbands off of his opponents, not ready to participate in shinobi philosophy games. The fuck kind of exam was this?

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at his friend's unhappiness with the supposed lack of action. Kami, why was he the only one on the team who appreciated challenges that didn't have the potential to kill them?

He blamed their upbringing. There was no way in hell that he would've survived it. He had too much laziness in him to keep up with whatever shenanigans that the Snake Sannin subjected them too on a daily basis, "Kami, Naruto. We get a simple task to complete and you complain 'cause you can't go assault someone else's child."

"I wouldn't call it assault, Shikamaru." The jinchuuriki defended, "I'd call it an exchange of wills."

"You need to call it a shut the hell up, brat!" One older genin from Amegakure hissed at Naruto, eliciting snickers and handshakes from his comrades. Nothing gave you brownie points like picking on somebody who was a foot and some inches shorter than you.

Tayuya shook her head, "Great, now we gotta kill him and his buddies too." She looked at the trio in an effort to size them up, making a noise to show off how unimpressed she was, "Yeah, you all are gonna die once they sic us on each other." They just had to say something to Naruto. They might as well just slather themselves in steak sauce and select herbs and spices and jump in front of a starved wolf.

"Oi bitch, don't underestimate us! We'll tear you little shits apart!" One of the future cadavers claimed. He then took his weaponized umbrella out of its holster and pointed it at Tayuya, twirling the rain stopper with as much malice and intimidation as possible.

Oh yeah, she was shaking in her boots now.

Naruto, Shikamaru, and Tayuya all just stared blankly at the older teen. Even his teammates stopped their intimidation tactics to look at him with exasperation present in their stares.

"This is why we never let you do the intimidation, Kami! What the fuck was twirling an umbrella supposed to do?"

"If those kids were rain droplets, they'd probably shit themselves at that threatening display... too bad they're not."

Damn, poor guy was catching hell from even his teammates. The speed at which he visibly deflated and started to tear up was sad. It almost made Naruto not want to kill all of them.

Almost.

Walking over to give the now crying umbrella wielder some well-needed pats on the back, Naruto sought out to console him and cheer him up, "Hey man, don't listen to them. They're assholes! If it makes you feel any better, I was a little scared. Hell, I even considered running away from you instead of trying to beat you to death."

In between sniffles, the Ame genin wiped tears from his eyes, "R-really? You think I'm scary?" The hope on his masked face could be seen as heartwarming to some.

"No. I lied." Naruto flatly stated, "I'm still going to kill your whole team, but hey." He pointed his finger directly into the poor guy's chest, smiling warmly, "Even if you're a loser with them and in life in general, you got heart, buddy. Having heart makes you a winner in my book."

"Bless your soul, man! I needed that to get through the day." The emotional genin smiled behind his mask before ambling back over to his teammates. He spared Naruto a happy glance, who patted his chest twice before sticking his fist out in response. Feeling better, he nodded his head approvingly, "That guy is such a good fellow. He's going places, I can tell."

"... How in the hell did we end up with this idiot?"

"I pray to Kami every day in search of an answer to that question."

Tayuya decided to chime in, not wanting Naruto to be the only one having fun screwing with everyone's minds, "Did she ever answer your calls?"

The previous Ame speaker cupped his chin in contemplation, shaking his head in the negative, "Nope. I could've sworn one time I just heard maniacal laughter, though."

The only Ame genin with some sense promptly whacked both of his teammates on the head, "Why are you idiots socializing with the enemy?! Focus on the question at hand so we can pick a flag!" He ordered as he pointed at the three flags, each with a large amount of space between them. Several of the other competing teams have already picked their stances on the matter, meaning that they were falling behind.

Shikamaru noticed this as well, "The mentally touched trio is right." He said, purposely throwing shots because he didn't want to be left out of the fun either. He smirked once he heard curses directed towards him. One day Naruto rubbing off on him was going to get him killed, "We need to go ahead and pick an answer." They had three choices.

One was strongly agree, one was neutrality, and the other was strongly disagree. Their question was something along the line of, "Are you prepared to fight a Kage at any time during this exam? A jinchuuriki? A _biju?_ Be completely honest because, hint hint, you have a _strong_ possibility of facing at least one of these during the exam."

The minute he said Kage, Shikamaru's mind was already made.

Which is why he found himself placed in a headlock with a flute pressed to his neck the minute he started to walk over to the strongly disagree flag. Couldn't blame him for trying.

"So pussy," Tayuya started as she dragged Shikamaru back over to where Naruto was standing, "Any particular reason why you thought going to that flag was a good idea? I'd love to hear your shitty answer."

"Yeah Shika, what gives?" Naruto asked as he eyed the tanned girl with the mint hair from earlier pick the strongly agree. Excellent, she wasn't scared of the possibility of fighting someone way above their skill level either.

Not even trying to fight his way out of a repeat performance of getting choked with a combat flute, Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "I'm not some walking weapon who wants to fight all the time. Kage level ninjas are definitely not something I'm trying to fight." Seriously, he'd rather just take the test a different year instead of getting reduced to a puddle of blood should he be stupid enough to go up against those monsters in human skin.

Naruto wasn't having any of it though, and started making his way towards the flag of agreement, smiling once Tayuya began to follow while still dragging Shikamaru, "It's not like they're actually going to have one of the Kage come here and throw down with a bunch of genin, can't let them psyche us out like that." Why would they even do such a thing in the first place?

Once the trio stood in the vicinity of the flag, Naruto noticed a good amount of killing intent being sent his way. He turned to see Neji glaring at him, Kurotsuchi licking her lips in anticipation of her future attempts to murder him, and some red-haired kid from Suna giving him a glare full of bad vibes.

Good, he had some people to be extra cruel to once the proverbial leashes were taken off.

After a few more minutes of the remaining teams deciding whether they really wanted to gamble with their lives, the flags were finally full. A vast majority of the teams, the Rookie Nine included, all crowded around the strongly agree flag, while the rest honestly stood beside the neutral flag and disagreement flag.

Ibiki and several of the other proctors noted the choices made, and made his way over to the flag where a majority of the genin were. On his way there, he shook his head as he passed by the disagree and neutral flag teams, "All of you weaklings need to get out of my sight, you've already failed." Seeing that the weaklings didn't move out of shock, Ibiki stopped, turned, and flared his killing intent to palpable levels, "You worms aren't even strong enough to bluff your way through a hypothetical question, yet you dare to stand here still?"

Not wanting anything to do with the obviously pissed proctor, those teams left the room swiftly once Ibiki took another step in their direction. They didn't know what he could do, but they didn't want to either.

Smart little genin.

Turning his attention to the rest of the teams that still remained, Ibiki regained his composure and walked over to stand in front of the genin. Looking each and every one of them in their eyes, Ibiki nodded, "Congratulations, maggots!" His voice boomed throughout the chamber as the rest of the proctors took his sides and stood at attention, "You all have either bluffed your way into a shot at progressing, or you're just full of enough piss and vinegar to think you can go toe to toe with one of the hidden villages' leaders."

The genin were thrown for quite the loop when Ibiki's stone-faced visage morphed into a fit of barking laughter, "Oh, you kids and your desires to advance. You really crack me up..."

At that precise moment, half of the genin teams immediately passed out due to a tremendous quantity of intent and pressure suddenly appearing right in front of them. Those that didn't fall prey to the murderous intent took steps back out of pure instinct, not wishing to stay in the presence of the monster in front of them.

Ibiki's grin widened sadistically as the glow from the lightning-covered figure casted ominous shadows across his face. It was time to cut down these numbers, and what better way to do it than to intimidate them by a show of force?

Judging by the looks of pure horror he was beginning to see on different faces, it was all going according to plan.

"... In case you thought that question was just a hypothetical, you thought wrong brats. Meet the Raikage, your first obstacle for the first portion of the exams." A lot of the genin were absolutely terrified now.

Good.

Ibiki gestured to where the previous teams had went to leave the building, "Final chance. Leave now, or risk an early death." After a large number of the poor brats collected their respective squads and unconscious comrades and ran for the exit, Ibiki nodded at the ones who still dared to stand in place. Some were clearly shaken by the power being directed at them, but that was to be expected, "So you're the ones with the mental fortitude to advance. I'm impressed, kids."

Several of them let out sighs of relief. Thank Kami he said that they were advancing. Having to literally go against the Raikage as a genin was a quick way to take a dirt nap.

"Bee, get your ass out here! These upstarts think they can take me on, so let's see them stand up to both of us at once!"

It took every last drop of willpower Shikamaru had not to turn and flee for the hills the minute the Raikage literally teleported in front of them and tried to kill them just by breathing and existing. He just ran out once an even more foul source of intent made its presence known loud and clear to them all. At least he knew Naruto would've been a stand up guy and shielded his unconscious body should these two demons in human flesh try to tear through them. Kami, even if the rapping was terrible, the sheer power that accompanied the bars was enough to make him swallow his criticisms and just go to sleep.

"You punks think you're bad, I'll show you who's real. You'll thank me for killing you after you taste my steel. Don't run, don't hide! You've had your chance! Now it's time to piss and shit your pants!" Two massive octopus tentacles hovered over the collection of frightened genin as Bee joined his brother's side, flaring both his natural intent as well as his tenant's. His fanged smile promised nothing but pain.

"You should've listened to Scars, you should've made the call to flee... now you got to try to survive the wrath of A and Bee."

 **X.X.X.**

 **No, I'm not dead.**

 **The poor fools participating in the exams might be though.**

 **Sorry it took so long, family vacations, meditation, and having breakdowns over No Man's Sky being delayed took a lot of my time. But you're not here for me, you here for the story.**

 **So yeah, it's officially showtime, kids. Naruto's got people gunning for his head, the Rookie Nine ain't taking prisoners, Deidara and Konan are lurking in the background, Anko just had the best dream of her life, and Shikamaru got choked with a flute again.**

 **Poor Sakon...**

 **But yes, I'm back. Read and review, get ready for phase two, and let us all weep and pray that Donald Trump doesn't get elected and drag us into a war. That's scarier than fighting A and Bee at the same time to me.**

 **Until next time folks, SPVNK out.**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, which sucks 'cause I need that financial stability that comes with owning such a ridiculously popular anime/manga. Well at least I'll have my own success sooner or later with my future book series...

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 16: Wherever Naruto Goes, Murphy's Law Loves to Follow and Fuck Everyone Over.**

 **X.X.X.**

This was not what Sasuke was expecting when he convinced everyone to sign up for the Chunin Exams. Signing up for a competition between fellow genin from his village as well as genin from other villages?

He'd do it over and over again just to overcome the odds and be the best that he was destined to be. The Uchiha last name wasn't just for show, after all. But fighting a fucking _Raikage_ as well as a jinchuuriki?

The fear present within his entire body almost made him consider running away in terror. Hell, if he was feeling this way, he knew Choji and Sakura were one step away from pissing themselves. If they made it out of this alive, he'd treat them to whatever they wanted. All the food Choji could inhumanly stomach, he'd get it.

Whenever Sakura went back to being a rabid fan girl and wanted a date or two, she could have it.

The chakra, the sheer power radiating from the two was absolutely appalling. The one with shades was putting out so much of the foul chakra he felt from Naruto that night, Naruto seemed a lot less terrifying. It was similar to a wolf versus a family of full grown bears.

Both have the potential and would more than likely kill you if given the opportunity, but the full grown bears were just imminently more concerning than the wolf. Size, strength, this guy probably had it all. He had to, if the Raikage was this comfortable with letting him tag-team intimidate them.

Bee continued to smile as he flared his biju's chakra at the kids. If they were this terrified now they should experience it when he actually wanted to kill somebody.

They'd probably have a seizure or go into shock should that happen, "So brats, who's up first? If you step forward, you'd better bring your worst." He rapped as he noticed something interesting about several of the genin in front of him.

 **"You notice it too, huh?"** Hachibi asked, being honestly surprised at three of his siblings being right in front of him.

 _"Yeah, can't say I saw this coming. Good thing these brats aren't shaken down so easily, I'd be pissed if they started running."_

 **"Right, it doesn't seem like any of them are backing down."** Hachibi mused, actually smiling at Chomei being here. She, alongside Shukaku and Kurama? Such an unexpected reunion.

Ibiki noticed that the brats weren't backing down, and nodded. Signaling to one of the proctors near the doors on the left to open them, the scarred interrogation specialist projected his voice, "Congratulations brats, you pass. The first exam was merely a psychological test meant to test your mental fortitude." He said as he began to pace back and forth, much to the surprise of all of the genin there.

"What the fuck?" Tayuya asked before remembering that two monsters in disguise stood before her. She could be as vulgar as possible after she was as far away from these two as possible.

"During your careers as shinobi, there will be times where you come across nigh impossible odds. On one hand, to err on the side of caution is advised. However, the villages can't promote those who aren't willing to take on a challenge. If you can't put your life on the line and stand tall in the face of danger, why should you advance in rank?"

A and Bee nodded in agreement, A turning his intimidation levels off for now to speak, "Ibiki-san is right. You all entered the exams with the mindset to overcome any and all obstacles presented to you." Noticing Bee grin harder than usual at a few select kids, A snorted. The other villages saw it fit to bring their jinchuuriki along to compete as well, eh?

Interesting, interesting indeed.

Continuing where A left off, Bee ceased to flare his biju's chakra and retracted the two octopus arms, "Right, congrats kids, you ain't too scary to advance to the next part. But yo, Scarface!" The jinchuuriki gestured to Ibiki, who had walked over to the doors, "Can I give the brats a quick test and award the winners a head start?"

A head start? That didn't sound like a bad thing at all.

Neji nudged Lee with his elbow, whispering lowly, "Don't be loud, whisper. Whatever this test is, let me handle it."

Lee's mouth opened and Neji could feel the loud noise coming, so he quickly threw his hand over his teammates mouth, glaring while mouthing "whisper". It was like talking to a small child who just didn't grasp the concept of speaking at lower volumes.

Once the hand was removed from his mouth, Lee caught the not too subtle hint to whisper, "But Neji, what if the challenge requires the skills of somebody bursting with the flames of youth?" Everybody had the flames, but Lee was a direct protege. Born and raised, forged in the flames.

You couldn't get anymore official than him.

Rolling his eyes and ignoring Tenten's snickering, Neji shook his head in the negative, "No. Just leave it to me." In all honesty, he'd rather let Lee do whatever the test is if it were any other day. But due to the circumstances, he simply couldn't let that happen today.

As talented as the boy was, with his handicap of not being able to use taijutsu or genjutsu, this probably wasn't going to be in his ballpark. A shinobi of this caliber giving a bonus test for a advantage in the next stage was more than likely going to give something that required a bit more finesse and precision instead of brute force.

Ibiki seemed to genuinely ponder allowing an extra test, but A stopped that train of thought once he grabbed Bee's head claw style, shaking the jinchuuriki back and forth, "Bee, no need for your stupid antics! Don't make me regret not sending you back to Kumo!"

Despite being manhandled by his neck and head, Bee was clearly enjoying this if his grinning was a good enough indicator, "Aww, c'mon bro! Let me go! I just wanna mess with their heads before they play in the snow!"

Sadly, the jinchuuriki was then promptly elbowed harshly into a wall on the far side of the room, making a rather sizable hole once him and the wall made contact.

Pinching the bridge of his nose with the occasional lightning bolt flickering on and off of his skin, A turned back to the kids, "Don't be an idiot kids, because you'll work somebody's sanity to the breaking point and give them anger issues sooner or later." Once his little nugget of wisdom was passed down onto the next generation, he gestured to Ibiki, "Please, continue with the exams before he pries himself free from the wall and comes back to annoy us all."

"Aww yeah, bro I see you with the budding bars! I can picture it now: A and Bee, you and me... we're gonna be rap stars!" Bee shouted enthusiastically from his cozy spot in the wall.

Several of the genin had twitching eyebrows at the moment.

 _"Where we really terrified of this idiot a few minutes ago?"_ Temari thought as she noticed Gaara stare extra hard at the currently rapping man.

 _"Mother... can we kill him?"_

 _ **"**_ **HELL YES. KILL HIM, KILL HIM HARD!"**

 **"... On second thought, he'd kill us both. I liked Gyuuki anyway, so we'll wait until later."**

 _"As you wish..."_

 _"Well that was rather... anticlimactic."_ Neji mused. A shinobi that strong just allowing himself to be punted around in such a manner was quite the odd spectacle.

 _"He's a jinchuuriki too, and there's three more of us here, Bug Butt?"_

 **"Yeah, one has the Kyuubi, that current wall accessory has Hachibi, another has Shukaku, and we saw who had the Nibi earlier."**

 _"Wow, that's a lot of competition..."_

 _"We really just got intimidated out of our minds by that guy? Troublesome."_

 _"I can't wait for the second portion or whenever we get to go at each other, I need to field test these new jutsu."_

 _"I wonder if Itachi didn't go crazy, would our relationship be this way? Who would be the annoying one?"_

In response to the stupid that just emerged from Bee's mouth, A's trademark shroud of lightning covered his person as he seemingly teleported to Bee in order to choke him to sleep.

Trying to ignore the two powerhouses, Ibiki whistled sharply to catch the genin's attention, "Brats! Follow me, your next exam is beginning shortly."

X.X.X

(With Deidara and Konan)

Deidara was an artist.

Deidara was a young man.

Deidara was a S-ranked missing nin.

Deidara was an avid Uchiha hater.

Deidara was a short-tempered blonde bomber who gets confused with a woman on a daily basis.

Deidara was all of these things, there was no denying it whatsoever. However, there was one major part that was currently missed.

Deidara was bored. Terribly bored.

Spending two months in the cold with a hot ninja chick sounded pretty sweet to the average guy. A fantasy made in in paradise right?

Wrong.

One, Konan was a bitch. A cold-hearted, boring bitch.

Two, she was a vindictive bitch. You get bored and annoyed one time and say that she's as much fun as a stack of wet papers and all hell breaks loose. And not the fun kind of hell either.

No, she unleashed a series of paper related pranks on him for the duration of the time they spent in the wilderness. Ranging from small, cute things like placing random origami creations around him when he wasn't looking to juvenile things like hiding his clay pouches while he slept to even more sadistic things like covering any animal he killed for food with paper.

She even sent a paper clone to him one time, fooling him into believing that she finally came around and wanted to pass the time in a sexy way. Too bad the paper clone just turned into paper and wrapped around his face the moment she took the clock off. He didn't even get to see her figure. Instead he spent a good thirty minutes cursing with no sense of sight until the paper finally relented and removed itself from his face.

Stupid paper witch.

He tried to return the fire with pranks of his own, but he received the message that she was not the one to be trifled with once he went seven complete days without eating. Apparently Konan took the liberty of either hiding any animal within the immediate vicinity or killing it, and replacing them with paper clones disguised as animals.

She of course did all of this after she took and hid his clay, preventing him from flying further to hunt for food.

Sadistic bitch.

Once she relented on her torture and returned his equipment, he immediately traveled as far away as possible from her in order to regain a bit of his sanity back. Ever since then, his only entertainment has revolved around watching that train thing that travels through the area.

His boredom and curiosity got the better of him one day, so he went to check out the train. Surely there had to be something interesting about it if all of those shinobi had to be out here to work on it.

Luckily for him, there wasn't anyone around trying to put him down when he boarded the train. It's not like he would've went down without a fight, but he would've surely been handicapped.

Once his adventure with the train was over, he went back to being completely bored. Currently laying on his back in the snow, Deidara growled before yelling out in frustration, "Fuck, why can't I not be bored?! Why couldn't Konan not be a bitch?! Where's the fun?!"

"I got your fun."

That voice. Deidara's hands immediately chewed up and spit out some explosive clay. He wasn't going to actually try to kill, just use it as a distraction so he could haul ass and get away.

"No need to run, Deidara. I'm not going to starve you again." Konan droned as she descended from the air, her paper wings collapsing once she touched down. She inwardly smirked once she noticed Deidara try to inch away from her, "Don't tell me you don't want to have some more fun with me..."

"Get the hell away! Until the genin come out here, I don't have shit to say to you!" Deidara hysterically yelled, rising to his feet and preparing to run. He wasn't a speed freak, but he had his ways of escaping. He was a missing nin, after all. He had to be good at avoiding capture.

Despite the hysterics, Konan remained stoic. She merely pointed in the direction of where buildings were located, "The exams have begun, and from what I've been able to see from here and gather from henging in town, the second portion is about to start."

At that, Deidara paused for a moment before grinning, "Finally!" He then stood up, punching a fist into his open palm, "Now I can fly around and have something interesting to watch!" It surely did beat staying out here with absolutely nothing to do.

But wait, she just said something that he caught on to, "You were in town?!"

"Yes."

What the fuck?!

"For how long?"

"Once you ran away from me and left me out in the wilderness to fend for myself, I just put up a very basic henge and sealed the cloak away. Stayed in a hotel for a majority of the time." The look on Deidara's face was absolutely priceless.

It was official. Deidara hated Konan. She harassed him daily, starved him for a week, then had the audacity to go into town without him?! He left Konan about three weeks ago.

Three weeks. She spent damn near a month with access to warm water, food, and a fucking bed with pillows to complete the set. Meanwhile he slept on clay every night and hid in caves to avoid the harshest temperatures.

Oh yeah, she was slowly but surely trying to get up there with Itachi. She really wanted him to hate her.

His anger was palpable at the moment as he growled through clenched teeth, "And you never thought that maybe I didn't want to stay out here for almost a month?"

"I did, I went looking for you but alas, you were nowhere to be found." She said with dramatic flair yet at the same time with the energy of a glacier. It took serious skill to be this stoic.

She came looking for him? Why did she have to lie, "Bullshit. That's bullshit, and you know it!" He yelled, pointing an angry finger at her.

"It's not." She smoothly countered, brushing some snow out of her hair, "I even yelled at the top of my lungs multiple times, calling your name."

Eyebrow twitching, Deidara crossed his arms and snorted, "Yelled, huh?"

"Mhm."

"How so, 'cause I didn't hear anything, un."

"Like this." The blue-haired kunoichi then cleared her throat in order to accurately mimic her previous shouts, "Deidara. Deidara, where are you?" She whispered. Once she saw Deidara walk over to the nearest tree to headbutt it repeatedly, she decided to drive the nail into the coffin and continue, "Deidara, come on out so we can go to the hotel. I need a full body massage." She droned on quietly, doing her best not to burst out laughing at Deidara. You just couldn't find better entertainment anywhere else.

"Konan," Deidara growled once the metal on his headband began to make a groove in the poor tree, "Why?"

"Why what, Deidara-kun?"

He headbutted the tree so damn hard once he heard the suffix a vertebra almost popped in his neck, "WHY ARE YOU THIS WAY, UN?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, daddy." She actually took a step back once she felt his killing intent spike to insanely high levels. It was easy to forget that Deidara was an S-ranked shinobi outside of any actual battles, "You're so sexy when you get upset with me."

A snake made out of white clay lunged from the snow and wrapped around Konan, eliciting a sarcastic gasp out of her. Deidara then proceeded to close the distance between the two, nothing but bad vibes shining through in his blue eyes, "So let's recap, un." He held out a hand and began to tick off the offenses with his fingers.

"One. You repeatedly hid my clay pouches."

"You should have been more alert in the field."

"Two, you covered a couple of the animals I was going to eat with paper."

"Think of it as seasoning the meat."

"Three! You fucking _starved_ me."

"Starving is adversity. Adversity builds character."

Eyebrow twitching, Deidara gained a very dry expression on his face, "You do realize that I could blow you up right now, un. I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over it either."

Even with the threat of death by a powerful explosion, Konan's stoicism didn't falter. She just simply stared at him, "Wow, you run away from me, miss out on the opportunity to share a bed and shower with me, miss out on actual meals, then threaten to kill me once I track you down?" Before Deidara could scream at her again, Konan continued with the million dollar question, "Deidara... are you gay?"

The two would then spend the next few minutes in the snow going back and forth, with Konan using minimal effort to achieve the maximum affect of brutally tormenting Deidara's sanity. If he didn't call her boring, none of this would've ever happened.

X.X.X

(Back With the Genin)

 _"Kami, she has a wonderful chest. How is she not freezing her tits off?"_ Kankuro wondered as he and his siblings, along with the other people competing, stood on a platform and ogled the proctor for the next portion of the exams. The building that they were standing in had a large section of the wall carved out, with the platform that they were currently situated on extending outside of the hole.

Sure, the ridiculously majestic expanse of snowy wilderness before them was breathtaking, but this lady was almost unfairly gorgeous. Sexy playful eyes, a smirk that never seemed to go away, and a jaw-dropping figure that was almost on full display for everyone to see. Seriously, only a fishnet shirt, short orange miniskirt, and a trench coat to hide her nipples? She clearly doesn't have to worry about hypothermia.

He'd have to make a move on her once Gaara walked them straight to the path of victory. Judging by how she kept staring at that blond kid from Konoha, she probably liked her men younger...

Wait, why was she staring at that twerp and not him? Kankuro was clearly the larger and finer specimen between the two. It couldn't have been his fashion, they were both draped in all black...

Well, now was a better time than ever to puff one's chest out and intimidate the competition. This portion looked like the part where they'd be free to fight. Might as well introduce himself to his future target.

Temari noticed Kankuro wandering away from her and Gaara, and poked him before he got too far, "Where are you going? The second half is going to start any minute!"

Shrugging off the poke and her questioning, Kankuro kept walking towards the blond. Damn, what was it about this kid that was getting so much attention from this lady? For Kami's sakes, she's even flicking her tongue out like a snake at him!

Naruto on the other hand was getting more and more excited the more Anko flicked her tongue out at him. It wasn't for the reason that one would suspect, though. No, there were teams participating that he needed to be aware of.

Getting a tap on his shoulder, Naruto was brought out of the riveting game of ninja charades to see some guy from Suna with purple makeup looking at him with squinted eyes. Tayuya and Shikamaru eyed him with interest, but didn't address him just yet.

"Yo, you need something?" The blond asked, already confident that he could kill this guy.

"You'd better watch your back, brat." Kankuro warned, his eyes squinted just like Naruto's. The cocky grin on his face gave Naruto an idea of exactly where this was going, "You'd better watch yours. Better yet, let's pretend that we aren't gonna try to gut each other so I can ask you a question or two."

Raising an eyebrow, Kankuro eventually shrugged his shoulders, "Uhh, sure... what's up, brat?"

Naruto looked Kankuro up and down for several seconds before asking his question, "Do you have a strong neck?" Kankuro, as well as several other people in the vicinity, Tayuya included, gave him a confused expression once they heard the question.

Even Shikamaru looked at Naruto a bit weirdly, "What kind of question is that, Naruto?" Like he knew Naruto was a weird bundle of chaotic energy prone to do, say, and ask weird things. But it never helped him prepare for anything that Naruto could do at a moment's notice.

Kankuro, who was still confused, took a step back and grasped his neck for a second before regaining his composure, "I agree with your friend, the hell kind of question is that?"

"One that needs an answer, man." The jinchuuriki replied, smiling sinisterly. The evil chuckles that were coming from him made Tayuya fully pay attention to what was happening, "Shithead, why are you harassing this pussy?"

Obviously taking offense to the insult thrown his way, Kankuro momentarily forgot about Naruto being creepy and turned his attention to the red head, "Oi bitch, watch who you're calling a pussy!"

Naruto stopped his budding maniacal laughter to look at Kankuro and Tayuya. It was always funny to see Tayuya get into yelling matches with people, mainly because she had a special skill of pissing people off with her mouth. He had it too, but in a more childish way.

Tayuya just cursed like a sailor and picked grown men apart by playing on their insecurities, then beating them senseless whenever they tried to throw hands.

Raising an eyebrow, Tayuya waved and gestured to her face before pointing at him, "There's a lack of makeup on my face, but you just went all the way out with all of that shit. Who told you that was a good idea?"

"It's war paint, not makeup!" Kankuro defended.

"I know damn well you don't have a dad, 'cause I don't know how in the fuck he'd let you walk out the house like that. You're probably wearing panties, too... pussy."

"Sheesh, that was harsh." A random Kiri genin said, his friends as well as several others agreeing with him.

Shikamaru saw where this was going, and shook his head, "Troublesome teammates always antagonizing others, why couldn't I just be paired with Choji? He's a nice guy, he just wants to eat and live peacefully. But nooo, I have Foul Mouth and Sadistic Skeleton for teammates."

Ignoring her pineapple-headed friend go off on a tangent, Tayuya let out a laugh once she saw Kankuro's mood drop instantly. Talking about people's parents was very out of line, but being raised under Orochimaru made her find that line and any of its buddies and erase it with extreme prejudice.

You couldn't spare feelings and be nice in that environment, because then you'd wind up a target. And since makeup boy was getting in his feelings, she found her a target, "I think I get why you're such a pussy."

Kankuro had half of a mind to say fuck the rules and take his weapon out, "Do tell, bitch." He growled through clenched teeth.

She shrugged before smirking maliciously, "It's simple." She started, noticing more of the Rookie Nine join the growing crowd of people watching, "Your mom wanted a girl, but she got you instead. She saw how much of a pussy you are, so she decided to put makeup on you just like a girl."

"... My mother is dead." Kankuro managed to get out with a snarl, emanating a good amount of killing intent, unknowingly catching the attention of the proctors and various Yuki shinobi.

"Oh Kami..." Hinata and Sakura whispered simultaneously.

"She should've took your sorry ass with her."

"Yo Tayuya, too far! What the hell?!" Kiba exclaimed.

She saw him reaching for whatever he had on his back, so she simply pulled out her flute. Usually she'd try to get some space before resorting to her flute, but a last minute suggestion by Naruto to get a steel combat flute was a good call on his part.

It was nothing to close the little bit of distance between the two and stab this fucker directly in the throat. Or this blond chick running up beside him.

As a matter of fact, who was she?

"Kankuro," Temari said as she grabbed her brother by the shoulder and yanked him harshly, "What the hell, are you trying to get us disqualified?"

"This one has a mouth on her. I should get Crow to shut it for her..." The bandages around the bundle began to unravel themselves, giving everyone with the exception of Team Ten and the sand siblings the cue to back up.

"By all means, try to shut her mouth for me. I've been kicking her ass for the last couple of months 'cause of her mouth yet she still doesn't know how to watch it." Anko wistfully sighed as she appeared right next to Kankuro, looking at him with mischievous eyes, "Of course, you'll be disqualified, you know, for fighting without me giving the green light, but I don't get to see you kiddies maul each other until the third portion."

"Wow, just tell us everything that's going to happen." Tayuya quipped, crossing her arms once she put her flute away.

"What did I just say about mouth watching, hmm?" Anko shot back once Kankuro got the hint to put his weapon away, "That's one thing you suck at."

Tugging at her red long-sleeved shirt to shake some snow off of it, the flute player snorted, "You want me to watch my mouth, how? Take my fucking eyeballs out and turn them around?"

"Just for that, your team gets a penalty!" Anko chirped happily before getting everyone's attention. She ignored Shikamaru whining, "Since you ankle biters are getting all antsy and whatnot, we can start the show! So listen up, and sign these forms being given to you by the snow people!"

Once he received a form, Lee spent a grand total of three seconds looking at the paper blankly before raising his hand, "Proctor-san! What are these papers for?"

Anko turned to address Gai's mini clone, smiling a bit wickedly once she started explaining, "These are release forms, which hold absolutely no village responsible for any of you dying."

"Dying?" Sakura whispered, looking at Anko with a slight amount of nervousness present, "What are we going to be doing that requires us to sign this?"

A sinister grin crept onto Anko's face as she brandished a kunai and began to play with it, "Simple, there's this big black vehicle that goes in a biiiig circle out there somewhere. In it, there's three different rooms with three different sets of scrolls. Your mission is to get one of each scroll and make it back here alive." She then licked the kunai, amazing everyone due to the fact that it didn't get stuck to her tongue, "Oh yeah, and each room is only accessible for a day."

The mint-haired girl from Taki spoke up, "So why are they only accessible for a day?"

Anko smiled, tilting her head to the side, "To keep you smartasses from just picking a spot, waiting for the train to pass by, get what you need and come running back here. You're supposed to go after each other, 'cause you never know if that one team has the scroll you missed out on or not." She then looked at all the teams as though she were counting them, "Thirty teams... first eight teams here are going to the finals! Everybody else, tough luck."

Several murmurs and whispers were heard amongst the genin before they all turned and glared at each other. The air was now dense, chock full of animosity.

"Oh yeah," Anko clapped her hands as she remembered a few important details, "You're out there for three days. Nobody comes in before that. Aaand, killing is frowned upon."

Taking his lollipop out momentarily, Omoi looked at Anko skeptically, "But is it allowed?"

"It is completely _frowned_ upon." Anko stressed, not really answering his question.

Great, the second part was basically a survivalist's wet dream and death match. For some who weren't too enthused about trying to gut each other, this wasn't the most ideal test.

For those with scores to settle, this was the prime opportunity to erase somebody off of the face of the earth with no actual repercussions to face.

Neji was at sort of a stalemate with himself. With Naruto, there were no pleasant feelings between the two. No cordiality or camaraderie whatsoever. But despite that, Naruto was still a member of Konoha. Killing him wouldn't look good once the truth broke out and spreaded like wildfire.

So how was this going to happen? If they crossed paths, would Neji be able to pull the trigger and murder the nuisance? Was Naruto dying really necessary to prove Neji's point? These thoughts were running rampantly through his head while he looked through the crowd to find the person who occupied his mind.

Once he found him, they locked eyes and narrowed them at each other, with Naruto sliding his thumb across his neck in a clear message.

Well, at the very least, the boy was going to be in pain one way or the other. As a matter of fact, in addition to passing the portion, Neji made it his absolute goal to cause as much bodily harm to him as possible. There would be absolutely no quarter shown to his foe.

Now he just had to think, how could he ensure this future he envisioned?

"Neji, are you ready to let your youthful flames flare and burn the competition? Mine most certainly are."

Perfect.

"Lee." Neji began to speak, "I want you to help me with something."

Tenten heard this, and put her hands on her hips as she felt affronted, "Hey, I'm on the team too. I want to help."

"Don't worry Tenten, you will help. But I need Lee specifically for this."

Tenten sighed as the teams began to be assigned to a Yuki ninja before being led into the wilderness. An amused smirk crept onto her face when the proctor lady said that Naruto's team had to secure four scrolls instead of three plus being the last ones to get dispatched.

The pineapple-headed kid started whining, but Naruto and Tayuya just shrugged before giving several different teams the stink eye. Of course Naruto had to give Neji a look. At least he smiled warmly at her and Lee.

Tsk tsk, this wasn't going to end well.

X.X.X.

(With Inoichi and Sakon)

Great, now this weirdo was back. If only he weren't crippled and Ukon weren't dead, he'd just try to fight his way out. Letting this mind fucker rummage through his mind wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Why must you stare at me like that, my dear boy? I've yet to harm you." Inoichi asked as he locked the door behind him.

"I'm not your dear boy, stop calling me that!"

Inoichi didn't respond to the temperamental outburst as he strolled over and set his clipboard down on the small cart beside the table. Instead, he patted Sakon on the chest while smiling, "Today's the big day. Aren't you excited." He saw Sakon prepare to spit at him again and lightly "tapped" him in the stomach with a fully clenched fist, "Now now Sakon, respect your elders."

His body was already in ridiculous pain just by his dead brother being still conjoined with his, in addition to all of the broken bones in him. This asshole just had to punch him in the stomach. So what if he was gonna spit at him? He should know by now that there were no pleasant feelings between the two.

He'd come in here, harass him about Naruto mainly, occasionally ask him a thing or two about Orochimaru, and leave. Then his little cronies would come in here and harass him as well, minus the intimidation factor. Hell, they weren't even any older than Sakon himself.

But surprisingly, he'd rather talk to them then Inoichi. Inoichi was a creep comparable to Orochimaru in his eyes. The uncomfortable touching, the different ways of speaking to him, and all of the sexual innuendos he'd say on the sly, the shit was just too much.

The grey-haired teen knew it was all mind games to get in his head and weather him down, but damn it, it was too effective!

There was a difference between Orochimaru and this sick fuck. Orochimaru would draw you in at first by telling you what you want to hear, giving you a carrot dangling on a string in front of you and enticing you enough to learn how to jump for it.

Once he was sure he had you, the carrot was yours.

The carrot came with side effects though, like cursed seals, gruesome training, and a downright hostile environment that you had to fight tooth and nail in just so you could try to keep of sliver of humanity in you. That's where his charisma kicked in.

Plus, that's where his S-ranked shinobi factor kicked in too.

This guy on the other hand, was one for straight up mind games. Fitting for a Yamanaka, but it was annoying. He lacked charisma, instead opting to get results by chipping away at your mind until he found a big enough crack to force his way in. Make no mistake, Orochimaru was scary as fuck, but there was just something about this guy that just gave him a different air of intimidation.

Looking down at Sakon with no visible tell to betray his thoughts, Inoichi began to undo the straps locking the boy down, prompting Sakon to look on in bewilderment, "Hey, what are you doing?!"

"You're being transferred." Inoichi undid the clamp restricting the left leg, "Today is the day that I get to parade around inside your mind. Aren't you excited?"

"Why the fuck would I be excited for that?" The teen dryly asked, lamenting the fact that he was completely immobile on his own. For all intents and purposes, he was dead weight since that asshole Naruto crippled his ankles and knees, as well as his elbows and shoulders.

A dry chuckle escaped Inoichi's lips, "Well, now we get to see all the juicy little secrets you have residing in your mind. Orochimaru's plans, base locations, experiments, all of that." With the final clamp around Sakon's neck being undone, Inoichi sharply whistled, giving the signal for the shinobi stationed outside to come in to transport him to the room designated for the mind jutsu.

Once they followed procedure and transported Sakon to the room, they ended up putting him inside of some machine that only allowed his head to be visible. The shit was super uncomfortable for Sakon, mainly cause he was on his broken knees against the concrete floor.

Stupid interrogation techniques.

Three of the nobodies took up positions behind a curved table, which was behind Sakon. The trio went through hand seals before placing their hands down on the table. Seals appeared in a circular array underneath each of their hands.

Nodding in satisfaction at the successful setup, Inoichi stood in front of Sakon, casting quite the intimidating aura as he stared at the boy, "Time to go in your head. I'll try not to leave you as a drooling mess afterwards." Ignoring Sakon's latest string of vulgarities directed at him, Inoichi reached out and palmed Sakon's head as though it were a ball.

Feeling drowsy, Sakon tried to fight the sleepy sensation, but couldn't.

"There's no point in resisting." Inoichi calmly stated as his chakra invaded Sakon's, "Greater men than you have tried."

His grip tightened considerably.

"None have succeeded. Saiko Denshin (Psycho Mind Transmission)."

The grey-haired teen tried to put up his best fight, but it wasn't enough. His vision faded to black while his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

Once his eyes opened, Inoichi found himself in a vast expanse of darkness, a prevailing sense of twisted sickness surrounding him. Eventually a plain stone floor materialized beneath his feet as the perpetual fog of foul intent dispersed, revealing several doors on either side of him with twin snakes framing each one.

Three of them caught his notice.

To the left of him, a door framed with snakes had several sharp bones jutting out in almost a protective manner around the snake.

Another to his right had a larger amount of thicker bones, however these were all moving away from the snakes.

The one right in front of him, however, took the cake. The door was not only surrounded by a mass of moving snakes, but there was an especially nasty aura coming from it. A feeling similar to a curse, if he were to put it in words.

He nodded before thinking, eventually coming to a conclusion. He'd scour those two bone doors for everything he can find about Naruto later. Right now, he needed to get more information involving Orochimaru.

As he approached the door, the snakes bared their fangs and hissed at him, yet he paid them no mind. Instead he just calmly strolled through the doorway.

He was then promptly assaulted by a barrage of memories that showed the most disturbing things possible. Experiments gone wrong, people being raped, tortured, and killed all in heinous ways, stuff that no child should have had to see.

"Kami..." Inoichi murmured as the wave of memories continued to float in and out of his view. It was honestly making him sick to his stomach to see all of this, no less from Sakon's viewpoint. The boy was no older than fourteen, yet he'd seen more horrors than the average seasoned jonin.

Shudders overtook his body as his mind wondered how Ino would've fared against an upbringing like this.

If he were aware of the outside world, he'd be able to notice that despite the fact that Sakon had a seal placed on his body that prevented chakra from being moulded, the curse mark on his neck began to glow ominously, especially the additions that Orochimaru added.

 _"My my... I do believe I've outdone myself."_ The voice of Orochimaru proudly stated behind Inoichi, who turned around immediately to see what was going on.

A foggy image of Orochimaru, a grey-haired youth, and what appeared to be younger Tayuya and a six-armed boy surrounding a shirtless Naruto floated in front of the Yamanaka. It didn't escape his notice that Naruto's seal on his stomach seemed to have a extra part on it.

 _"Not to disrespect you or anything Orochimaru-sama, but what the fuck is so special? You just scribbled some extra shit on his stomach." Tayuya asked, noticeably uncomfortable in the presence of the Sannin._

 _"Tayuya, surely you're just playing. Orochimaru's work is more than mere scribbles." The kid with grey hair and glasses chuckled._

 _"My dear Tayuya, think of this as insurance. Our friend..."_ The memory began to fade away, only to come back full force, _"... would probably send his forces after dear Naruto here in an attempt to bring him back to the village. It was admittedly foolish of me to think that he wouldn't turn back on our deal, but shinobi will always be shinobi."_

 _"So, what will it do?" Tayuya asked._

 _"This addition... time bomb... might as well take out Konoha if they manage to get... back."_ Hazy moments didn't give Inoichi exactly all the details, but the amount of information that he was taking in was more than enough to bring this issue immediately to everyone's attention. If only he knew who was the one who made the deal...

 _"... Seal won't show without certain requirements... can't find it... too late..."_

The memory faded away completely at this point, causing Inoichi to curse. So basically, Naruto was a ticking time bomb that could blow up at any given moment. What was even more alarming was the leftover issue of the Kyuubi.

What would happen if the bomb went off? Sure Naruto would perish, which Inoichi honestly wouldn't mind at all, but how does the Kyuubi factor in to this? Does it die alongside Naruto?

... Fuck, it wouldn't. The biju are supposed to be masses of chakra given corporeal form. Chakra can't die. So that means...

First his daughter's death, now the potential lives of everyone living the village were all at risk.

If the explosion didn't get them, a sudden rampaging biju would surely pick up the slack and chop down on a good amount of people.

All of this was because of Naruto...

He narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Now he definitely needed to go see what was in those two doors with bones, because if extreme measures had to be taken, Naruto would probably have to be killed.

It wouldn't be an easy decision due to the fact that he was a jinchuuriki. But it was a possibility...

X.X.X

(With Team Seven, Later That Evening)

Hands in his black jacket pockets, Sasuke kept his eyes peeled as he and his team approached a rather large lake. Their reason for it?

Dinner.

Earlier that day, once they were dropped off in the middle of the woods, they just took their time advancing through the wilderness. It was smooth sailing for the most part, up until a Kusagakure team came across them.

They didn't provide any source of challenge at all, which bored Sasuke. Instead of taking out his sword that he's been using lately, he just left it up to Choji and Sakura, who hypnotized and literally crushed them with little to no effort.

Seeing Choji in action was probably the most entertaining thing he's seen so far. Nobody ever suspects him to tag them that quickly, with him being chubby and all.

But ever since then, Choji and Sakura were actively looking for food rather than competition, which was understandable since they weren't as battle hungry as him. Luckily there was a family of deer sipping by the the lake as the sun continued to set.

"Sasuke, ever try to cook something with your fire jutsu?" Choji asked as he eyed the biggest buck over there. He could just taste the meat now.

Sasuke took one hand out of his pockets in order to rest it on his sheath, rolling his eyes at his friend's question, "No."

Sakura looked back at the two, placing a finger to her lips, "Shut it, do you want them to get spooked away? Now let me genjutsu one over here so you two can get to work."

Sasuke snorted. It was kind of funny how the team dynamic shifted ever since Ino's unfortunate death. Gone was the fangirl version of Sakura, the one that made his skin crawl with just her ability to annoy him. Instead, she transformed into a whole different person.

Confident.

Driven.

Less annoying.

It was like she went from being a puppy that followed him around everywhere waiting for his approval to becoming a cat that could care less. No matter what Sasuke did, no matter how cool he looked, no natter how much improvement he showcased, Sakura never returned back to her old self.

Even when he took to kenjutsu as a response to his growing uneasiness with Naruto's abilities and close-ranged prowess, he got more praise from Choji and Kakashi than he did from Sakura. She just shrugged her shoulders and went back to practicing her chakra control and genjutsu.

It was crazy, because something deep inside him, buried beneath all of that mental anguish and angst, was a part of him that actually missed that. It disgusted him when the thoughts originally started to pop up in his head, but eventually he got over it.

Call him crazy, but having Sakura always there to gas him up and wait on him hand and feet was something he always enjoyed. He'd just never admit it to any living being on the planet.

If anyone ever found out about it he'd light them on fire three times.

First time was just for being nosy, second was to kill them so nobody would ever know that Sasuke Uchiha actually missed having a fangirl.

Third time was to turn them into ashes for good measure.

... If only Naruto found out, then Sasuke would have a valid reason to sneak into his room at night, immolate the idiot, and not feel guilty over killing a friend.

Speaking of Naruto, he wondered what the blond was doing. Hell, he wondered what everyone was doing. How were the Rookie Nine doing on the first evening?

Did anybody get a scroll yet?

Did anybody even catch a glimpse of their target vehicle thing?

(At Said Train, Later On That Night)

"Holy shit, this has gotta be the thing we're supposed to find!" A rather excited Kiri genin grinned as he and his team emerged from the woods. In front of them was a massive black vehicle with at least ten different sections. It moved along the track that it was on rather quickly.

His teammate licked her lips hungrily, "Well what are we waiting for, an invitation? Let's go get our shit, boys!" With no more words needed, the trio dashed through the snow, all three landing on the first part of the chunk of metal.

"This thing surprisingly rides smoothly." The girl commented idly as she leaned over the side to look for an entrance. Eventually she found a window, which promoted her to brandish a kunai and bust the window out with the ringed portion, "Let's get what we can for now, then we get out of here. We'll catch up to this thing tomorrow to get the rest."

"If I remember correctly, I saw a movie with this type of thing in it... oh yeah, it's a train!" One of her teammates recalled as he swung himself into the opening after his friend.

The last one was about to enter as well, but the beauty of the nighttime sky held him in place. Having to take a moment to soak it all in, he looked at the snowy landscape as it passed him by, the cool air of the land blowing his ponytail about in different directions.

Sighing in appreciation of nature, the Kiri genin shook his head, "Man, Kiri islands and beaches got nothing on this."

Thwack.

A solid chop to the back of his neck dimmed his lights completely. His unconscious body no longer able to stand on its own, it fell to smack against the cold metal of the train.

Well, would have if Lee didn't catch his body to prevent those that just entered the train from hearing. They didn't know if the train was soundproof or not, but he didn't want to take any chances.

Turning around to his team while holding his latest victim, Lee gestured to the unconscious youth in his arms, "He's out cold. I would have rather faced him head-on, but this unyouthful way is effective too."

Tenten tugged at her fur-lined snow cloak as she nudged Neji with her elbow, "Ya know, it's actually pretty scary at how good Lee is at creeping up on people. Could you imagine how good of an assassin he'd be if he preferred to sneak around instead of yelling about youth every thirty seconds?"

"The real trick would be getting him not to face every target before engaging." Neji said as he walked towards Lee. Crouching down to get a closer look at the boy, Neji frowned once he realized a dilemma.

"Where are we going to put his body?"

Lee blinked owlishly before proposing his suggestion, "Carry him with us? It would be most unyouthful to leave him out here in the cold."

Neji shook his head as he activated his bloodline, "And impair our fighting abilities?" He jabbed several points on the boy's body, preventing him from using his arms or legs for a while, "Not a chance."

Tenten walked up to join them, "Well Neji, what do you suggest? I know you're really just waiting for Naruto to show up, but we gotta focus on this right now." She said once she noticed Neji stare blankly ahead. Ever since the exams started, he'd get that look on his face whenever he started thinking about Naruto.

Naruto... that ruffian. He'd be eating his words, a punch or ten from Lee, and several juken strikes to the throat soon enough. Neji just hoped that the beating was savage enough to match that boy's special brand of savagery.

How one could be that callous and dangerous, Neji would never know.

... But then again, the danger aspect came from Uzumaki not being afraid to really harm others. Tenten's scar on her arm was proof of that.

Hmm, maybe being that nonchalant about hurting others, even your comrades, had some benefit to it. Maybe it could be seen as one less restriction on one's skills?

Come to think of it, the boy would more than likely be trying his hardest to seriously wound Neji. Of course, fate would see to it that Neji would come out on top, but how would he survive that encounter without serious injury?

Should he match his devil may care attitude and shed any notions of going slightly easy on him? Or should he prove himself to be above the blond and fight only to teach him a lesson and humble him?

"Neji! Unconscious genin! Two more inside! Come to a quick decision on what to do with his body!" Tenten hissed as she snapped her fingers rapidly in his face to bring him out of his thoughts.

Coming back to the present situation at hand, Neji snatched the teen out of Lee's arms before tossing him to the side, the body falling off of the moving train. Paying no heed to his teammates shocked reactions, Neji frowned at the fact that he couldn't see into the train before entering the vehicle anyway.

Strange. His Byakugan turned itself off the minute he entered.

His feet crunched on the glass once he landed, but those were the only sounds heard for a couple of seconds before he dashed forward to give Lee and Tenten room to enter. All three sat there crouched down and staring down a open black door with a broken glass letting them know that their targets were that way.

"Is it me, or can nobody else channel chakra?" Tenten asked before placing a hand over her mouth and patting Lee on the shoulder, "My bad, Lee."

"I can't channel mine either." Neji said with a grimace, dusting snow off of his long-sleeved variation of his usual shirt and dark brown cargo pants, "This train must have some sort of chakra suppressing properties, because my Byakugan turned off as soon as I got in here."

"This is a most unfortunate situation." Lee mumbled before smiling brightly, "Luckily for me I don't need chakra!"

It took a couple of seconds, but both Neji and Tenten looked at Lee with wide eyes once they assessed the situation. Lee was a complete freak of nature, and all of his skill came from a lack of reliance on chakra to beat his foes silly.

Tenten really only needed chakra for taking her weapons out.

Neji was the most chakra reliant on the team, due to his clan's ighting style and kekkei genkai.

But Lee...

"Lee... you're going to be our main attraction in this show, you know that right?" Tenten asked as she sat there, dumbfounded at how unfortunate yet fortunate this situation was.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"... Just go beat up those guys in there, we're right behind you in case you need help." Tenten ordered. Lee need help?

She scoffed to herself. As if. There probably wasn't a genin alive that could beat Lee in straight up taijutsu, especially since there was no chakra usage in this thing at all.

Lee wasted no time and dived through the broken glass window opening, prompting Tenten to just facepalm herself, "Why couldn't he just walk through the doorway, the door is open for crying out loud!"

Neji chuckled, "When have you ever seen Lee be normal?"

"Fair point." Tenten said as she pulled out some kunai and entered the next train car, "So, do you think he needs our help right now?"

"Hey, where the fuck did this guy come from? And where's Mitsu?!"

"Doesn't matter, let's knock him out and check him for scrolls! Suiton: Taihōdan (Water Release: Large Projectile)!"

Neji shook his head once silence filled the train. There was no sound of a damaging jutsu being used.

"What the fuck?!"

"Holy shit, he's fa-!"

CRACK!

The sounds of a window being broken made Tenten cringe as they eventually entered the room where the one-sided beating occurred. One of the poor fools was hanging halfway out of the broken window, while the other chick was backing away from Lee slowly as though he were a beast of some sort, "Please, you got it! Just don't do me like that!"

"You won't have to worry about him hurting you." Neji cooly reassured the girl who was obviously terrified of the eyebrows from hell who probably brutalized her friend. Sad thing is was that Lee was probably being nice.

"Thank Kami." She instantly threw her scroll that she found when she first came in here, allowing Tenten to catch it. Still uneasy due to the fact that her jutsu wouldn't work while being faced down by a full team, the tense posture she displayed didn't let up, "So, where's my other teammate?"

"Paralyzed in the snow somewhere. I think if you leave the train quick enough you'll find him soon." Neji stated smugly. A little bit of taunting never did anyone harm.

The actions that followed are what really caused the harm.

Ew, he actually saw why Naruto loved taunting people. Disgusting.

Fear quickly turned to anger once she realized what was said, "My teammate is out there alone and paralyzed?!"

"Unconscious too. Don't forget that part."

The Kiri kunoichi rushed straight at the smug, white-eyed bastard, brandishing a kunai in a raging attempt to cut those eyes out of his head.

Too bad a blunted kunai stopped her by bouncing off of her sternum with force.

Then a green elbow tenderized her right side.

Then a palm strike to her nose broke it before another palm strike to her stomach sent her flying towards the window her other fallen comrade was currently hanging out of.

Once they both fell out of the window completely to join their friend in the snow, Tenten scowled at Neji, "Since when do you taunt people like that?"

Neji paid her no mind as he looked around the room. It looked like a dining hall, with tables and chairs and booths ideal for eating littering the room. Well, some of them were still standing.

A shudder went through Neji's frame. Despite not using chakra at all, Lee was a very destructive fighter, especially in enclosed environments like this.

"I have a game plan for us. This train is our base of operations." Neji started, only to be interrupted by Tenten.

"Why would we use the train that prevents us from using chakra as a base? Didn't that proctor say the whole point was to not sit in one spot?"

She had a point. But he still had to finish explaining it seemed, "I'm pretty sure when she said that, she meant a position near the train. But I don't think any of them were expecting us to be able to stay in here for long without the use of chakra. Only those capable in taijutsu would dare to stay in here for long amounts of time."

Oh, okay. It made sense now. Their team primarily focused on taijutsu naturally, with Neji being a Hyuuga and Lee being... Lee. To their knowledge, they were the only team capable of holding down this fort. And if Neji or Tenten needed to use chakra, they could just go stand on the roof of the train then bring the fight in here.

"This is a very youthful plan! I do hope that those three are okay, though." Lee mused as he went to the next door. It wouldn't open at first, so he just elbowed the window out and jumped through.

"I found food! There's a kitchen back here!"

Tenten and Neji looked at each other before smirking. They really had this competition in the bag.

X.X.X

(With Naruto and Pals)

Situated on a tree branch above his team, Naruto kept his eyes peeled for anything suspicious in the distance. Their first day went rather smoothly for the most part. No fighting, much to his chagrin. Just looking for a suitable place to hunker down for the night.

Which led them to where they are now. Below him was a small cave hidden beneath a large amount of snow. Of course Shikamaru's first instinct was to go in, get Naruto to booby trap the immediate vicinity with clones, and go straight to sleep. Tayuya was originally going to come with Naruto to find some action, but he told her not to.

"Okay dickhead, just don't go off and die on us." She told him right before she went into the cave as well.

So now, he was free to unleash the beast for the night.

His eyes glowing solid blue in the dark, the jinchuuriki took off through the trees. All he wanted was a fight or three, and a chance to try out his new techniques.

After about fifteen minutes of travelling in an eastern direction, Naruto's ears caught on to the sounds of combat. Now where was the highest vantage point he could find?

Eyes panning up, he found a suitable perch. Once he got up there and got settled, using the branches and shadows as cover, he took a scroll off of his right hip. Unsealing what he needed, he grinned eagerly.

In his hands was a rifle made out of bone, with a blade on the end, similar to what one would call a bayonet. The stock was made with his foot, which took days due to how uncomfortable it was.

He placed his toy in position, stock in between his right armpit and chest, while the barrel rested on his foot, "Time to see how good my shot is."

(Where Naruto Was Looking)

"Stop fucking staring at me and give us your scrolls!" The Ame genin from earlier yelled at Gaara and his siblings.

"Brats, don't make us use force!" The weakest link from earlier was about to brandish his umbrella again to intimidate these snot-nosed kids, but his teammates both yelled at him, "Stop with the damn umbrella! The shit ain't scary!"

"Wow," Kankuro yawned as he and his siblings stood in the snow, their breathing easily visible, "You guys are really pathetic. We told you about thirty times, we don't have any scrolls."

Once they stopped cursing out their poor teammate, they glared at Kankuro, "And we're supposed to believe that shit?"

"Believe it or not, you're going to die if you don't just leave." Temari told them, "You'd better run right now before you hear a pop."

The previous Ame speaker pointed at Temari, "Oi, fuck all of you and this pop thing you keep talking about! We're not scared of you."

The cork in Gaara's gourd popped out.

"Then why haven't you tried to kill us yet?" The emotionless voice of Gaara rang out through the area as sand began to rush from the gourd, circling around Gaara. It only took a split second for the sand to appear to gain a form of predatory sentience and rush for the nearest target. Sand piled around victim number one's head before relentlessly crushing his head, the sounds of bone and bodily fluid being mushed into a fine paste freaking everyone who wasn't from Suna out.

"Yoshi!" Instead of taking this as a sign to just get the fuck on somewhere, the idiot thought that this was a good time to try and avenge his friend's death, "You'll pay for this!" With practiced ease, the Ame victim number two flew through hand seals, stomping his foot down on the ground in determination.

He really should've ran.

"Hid-!" Sand from below the snow wrapped around his hands, crushing them in the process. His cries of agonizing pain were drowned out once he was picked up by his hands and slammed repeatedly into a nearby boulder.

"Two down, one to go." Kankuro darkly chuckled as he eyed the last one, who was clutching his umbrella like it was going to make a difference. He didn't bother to comment on the bloodstained boulder or the battered and bruised corpse laying on it.

As a matter of fact, it was going to make a difference. The final victim pointed his umbrella at the sand-wielding freak, twirling it expertly. Needles shot out in a spiral motion at speed, filling him with hope that they would catch him off guard.

Sand just formed a protective circle in front of him, however, before rushing forward to envelop the victim in sand, complete with the needles from his previous last ditch attempt stabbing into him. The sand levitated him into the air and towards Gaara, leaving only his head exposed.

Trying to wiggle his way out, he cries out in more pain as the sand squeezed him tighter. Fuck, he was really going to die right here, right now.

"You're weak." Gaara growled as the future sand coffin came closer, "Your blood isn't strong enough for mother..."

X.X.X.

(With Naruto)

His thumb slid over the back of the gun where the barrel began and the stock ended. A rather wicked bone bullet slid out of his thumb, transitioning into the barrel smoothly.

He took aim, cycling through which targets he wanted to take out.

He could take out makeup boy right now. He was right there! Could've had his blood painting the snow right now.

But no, something told him to hold off on him for now.

That Ame genin though... didn't he tell the future victim he was going to kill him earlier?

He did.

He had his target now.

Wind chakra plus his almost solid chakra building up behind the bullet, Naruto was absolutely giddy to do this.

Ain't no test like a field test, after all, "Mayonaka no Kyōki (Midnight Madness)."

CRACK!

Blood covered the snow as the bullet pierced through the Ame genin's head, startling the Suna siblings. Even Gaara was shocked momentarily. The loud crack echoing throughout the air, the sudden burst of blood escaping out of the side of his victim's head, all of it was too sudden.

"What the fu-?!" Kankuro was next on the list.

CRACK!

He didn't catch one in the head, but his left leg gained a new hole that wasn't there before. The puppeteer fell to the ground screaming, his blood painting the snow too.

"...Aaand that's what he gets for talking shit." Naruto grinned once he noticed Gaara looking up directly at him.

To Gaara, all he could see was two glowing blue eyes and a smile somewhat illuminated by said eyes. The eyes then vanished.

 **"That was Kurama's container... you know you have to kill him, right?"** Shukaku said, insanity surprisingly not present in his voice for once.

 _"Of course, Mother. He is strong... he will give my existence meaning."_

Feeling accomplished that he created a long range killer, Naruto ceased the chakra flow to his eyes to lean back against the tree and bask in his happiness, "I'm fucking awesome."

His celebration had to be cut short once buzzing sounds caught his attention. His signature shotgun technique was primed and ready as he turned around to face whatever was coming for him. Strangely, nothing was there.

Maybe it was some kind of weird winter bug?

"Oh, here you are! I finally found you! Let's have a quick fight!"

The jinchuuriki turned around to turn the girl into mulch, but she flew out of the way of his arm, tagging him in the chin with a nasty jab that packed a whole lot of power in response. He flew out of the tree, temporarily stunned.

As he fell, he threw his other arm out to a nearby tree. A dark blue chain made out of chakra shot from his wrist and wrapped around the tree. Retracting the chain to pull himself towards the tree, he narrowly missed being dive bombed by his assailant, who flew straight down to the forest floor.

"Shit, I dropped my gun!" Naruto cursed as he stuck to the tree with chakra, frowning once he saw his attacker levitate back up to his level. She had bug wings, and a _lot_ of chakra.

Despite the tense nature of this meeting, she smiled at Naruto as she floated in midair, "I'm Fuu, nice to meet ya! Can we fight for a few minutes?"

"Uh, sure... but why are you so happy about it?" Naruto asked, subtly creating clones out of view to beat her down soon.

Fuu tilted her head to the side cutely before throwing her arms out in excitement, "I've never fought another jinchuuriki before!"

X.X.X.

 **BOO! Did I scare you?**

 **If I didn't, ask people who come through a haunted house thingie I work in. I love scaring people. And getting paid for it. You'd be surprised at how many people like to walk through all tough and shit, saying they ain't scared, nobody is scary.**

 **Then they turn around to show off to their friends.**

 **Then I pop up in their face with a loud-ass gun that turns grown men into Scooby Doo when he jumps into Shaggy's arm, or Spiderman when he gets away from something by clinging to a nearby wall.**

 **Ah, I love scaring people silly.**

 **Side note, Luke Cage is amazing. I fucking love that show.**

 **Another side note, No Mans Sky was disappointing. At least I didn't pay 60 for it, I basically got it for free. Hell, I even got 8 dollars getting that game.**

 **Triple side note, Mafia 3 is going to take all of my time up, along with RE HD, Resident Evil 4, Salt and Sanctuary, and something else. What that something else is, your guess is as good as mine. I heard you can shoot up kkk rallies in Mafia, so that's a day one purchase for me.**

 **Now, on to the actual reason you're here. I finally got this chapter out for your viewing pleasure. I know, I know. It took forever.**

 **Naruto is getting stronger, guys. He's also gaining more and enemies. How's the political backlash of a jinchuuriki shooting a Kage's son in the leg gonna go down?**

 **What's gonna happen when everyone hears about the bomb on Naruto's seal that doesn't even exist?**

 **Why are Tayuya and Konan such assholes?**

 **Tune in next time to find out. Read and review, share the story with friends, and watch out for these clowns walking around. If you hear the honk, run before you end up in a trunk. Until next time, SPVNK out.**

 **Quadruple side note, this author's note was long as shit. Sheesh.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto guys, this is like day one knowledge. What I do own is any new jutsu I made in this story though. Just wait, I'll have my own story with my own techniques soon enough.**

 **Broken Tools**

 **Chapter 17: *Famous Dex Voice* Oh Man Gotdamn**

 **X.X.X.**

 **(** With Kankuro and Pals)

"AAAAGGGHHH, FUCK IT HURTS!"

"Try to stay still so I can at least wrap the damn wound!" Temari yelled in frustration while trying to wrap her brother's leg. It was bleeding profusely, but then again when somebody revieved a hole in their body courtesy of a foreign object meant to puncture that's to be expected.

The pain that Kankuro was experiencing was downright awful. What hit him, hell, none of them knew, but it wasn't nothing to joke around with. He could've been dead if whoever did this to him aimed higher, but there had to be a reason why.

Maybe it was a warning shot? But who?

What was the motive?

Clearly the perpetrator had no problem with killing anybody, because that guy from Ame was currently lying in the snow with one side of his head blown out. But it still didn't make sense.

Well, trying to decipher the mystery of why wasn't gaining any traction. So who was the million ryo question now. Think, who could hold a grudge like that against him? Who would want to hurt him?

He thought back through the whole exam so far, searching his memories or anybody that would have beef with him.

Two people popped up, one with red hair and a disrespectful mouth and a blond who pulled off all black nicely.

"It... it had to be either the blond kid or his bitch of a teammate." Kankuro growled out as Temari finished wrapping the wound as tightly as possible, "I'm going to kill both of them."

Wiping some of her brother's blood off of her hands onto her tan-colored cloak, Temari frowned, "You're not going to be able to do much of anything, idiot! You have a hole in your leg!"

Gaara on the other hand was still giving the direction Naruto was in the meanest death stare. His mind was made, he had to kill him.

 **"Why are you still waiting around? Go kill the motherfucker!"** Shukaku ordered before tilting his head to the side curiously, **"Chomei's here too? Ooooo, they're going to fight... GO KILL THEM BOTH!"**

Gaara began to walk in that direction to follow his Mother's order, but Temari's voice stopped him, "Gaara, where are you going?" The last thing they needed was for Gaara to run off while Kankuro was injured. Both her and Kankuro knew Gaara was the strongest out of the siblings, so him leaving them was going to be a crippling blow to their firepower.

"I'm going to kill the one who shot that weakling." He stated coldly, pointing at Kankuro, "I'll crush him."

Fuck, he was getting in his mode. How could they salvage this situation? What could they do to keep Gaara from leaving them?

Temari began to stall while she thought of a good enough reason to make him stay put, "Remember that exam that we're currently taking? You know, the one that probably has one more tournament styled portion?"

Gaara blinked slowly before crossing his arms, "I care little for this exam. I only want to kill those who are strong in order to validate my existence." The killing intent in the area began to rise, but surprisingly it wasn't coming from Gaara, who showed a limited amount of surprise, "I'm going to slaughter them all."

Kankuro sucked in a deep breath in an attempt to fight off the pain and to also brace himself, "Gaara... don't leave us here to go chase after him. For all you know, he could take off and never be seen until the second portion is over."

"Your point being, weakling?" Gaara asked, his anger beginning to grow. The time spent with his weak siblings could've been spent taking care of his targets.

Temari caught on to what her brother was trying to do. Neither one of them could force Gaara to do anything unless they didn't have the desire to live anymore. He was just too powerful to even heed their words of advice or caution.

But both Kankuro and Temari were highly intelligent shinobi, and if they couldn't out-muscle somebody they could definitely try to use reason to get what they wanted.

In this case, they hoped that their reasoning was sound enough to convince Gaara not to leave them out to hang, "His point is that you can either spend the rest of the three days hunting for him with nothing to show once we all got to go back, or you can carry Kankuro around with your sand, get the scrolls easily, and kill whoever did this in the next portion. We're not doubting your ability to kill him in a straight fight, but what if he just runs everytime you come across him?" Temari said with no fear present. Well, on the outside.

After what seemed like an agonizing eternity to Kankuro due to him being in pain, Gaara frowned, yet didn't leave the area, "You two weaklings have a point. Very well."

Before the two non-jinchuuriki teens could celebrate, they were all caught off guard by what appeared to be the sounds of buzzing, laughter, and yelling from multiple people, even though all of the yelling voices were exactly the same. Kankuro looked at the trees in front of Gaara, trying to see with little success what could be making that noise.

He didn't even want to register the killing intent flying around from that direction, so he just tried to ignore it and focus on not bleeding to death in the snow.

THWACK!

One of the thick trees were suddenly knocked over as a green blur smacked against it with force before literally flying past it and past them. The blur was the source of the laughter despite the rather harsh collision, which caused all of the sand siblings to look on confusedly. Admittedly, they've never heard of a flying shinobi that could topple a tree and buzz away from it laughing, but that wasn't the wildest thing.

A blue chain was wrapped around the unidentified flying shinobi, connecting a boy with all black and blond hair to the tree killer. Apparently he was being dragged along the ground for a second or two at speed before being yanked into the air once the flyer started to pick up altitude.

"Hold on tight, it's gonna be a rough ride!" They heard the one responsible for the lack of ground contact say excitedly before she took off into the woods, making sure to smack her passenger against each and every hard surface she could.

"... What in the fuck?" Temari asked in bewilderment before more sounds came from the forest in front of Gaara. Several copies of that blond kid from earlier came rushing out right past Gaara, all looking in the direction they heard buzzing coming from.

"That way!" One of the clones ordered with determination shining through, "Let's get boss back!" With no further prompting needed, the clones took off.

Well, almost all of them.

One ran over to Kankuro quickly and stomped on his visibly injured leg before reaching into his sleeve. Pulling out a blue chain, he eyed the now screaming Kankuro with a bit of manic glee, "I hope your neck is strong enough to keep you from dying by getting hu-." Sand turned into a spear pierced the clone directly through the back of his neck, effectively dispelling him.

Gaara ignored the screaming from his brother as he sent sand to envelop the teen, "You will have to stop screaming while I carry you around, or else I'll kill you."

The pained screaming stopped on a dime. Funny how the death threats can make somebody act right quickly.

Temari sighed a breath of relief, ignoring the death of that clone. She'd seen Gaara do far worse to others for less, "So, let's go get scrolls."

Levitating his brother in the air behind him, Gaara nodded and started walking in the direction that all of the Naruto clones ran in.

X.X.X.

(Naruto vs Fuu)

Somebody above just didn't like Naruto. That had to be the reason why things never went his way.

Whenever one came up with new jutsu or tried to deviate from their usual mode of operation, they wanted results. They wanted to make sure that their time and effort paid off in the end. They wanted to see the confirmation with their own two eyes that what they were doing, was working.

His new long range technique? Worked like a charm.

Chakra chains? He hasn't exactly killed anyone with them yet, but they were holding up to the challenge of letting him keep up with this Fuu chick. It's like he couldn't find a opponent who could go head up with him anymore.

Everybody seemed to have some kind of way to keep him from getting in nowadays! It was complete bullshit!

If Neji somehow has a secret technique to keep Naruto from getting too close, the world is going to burn. Burn slowly and deliberately, all by his hands.

"Oi!" Naruto yelled as Fuu whipped him into another tree with his own chains. Seriously, this shit was painful, "This ain't a fight! Let's get down and beat each other senseless!" His organs couldn't take much more of these high velocity impacts against solid wood.

Looking up at the nighttime sky as her passenger yelled at her, Fuu sighed serenely. Nothing like a beautiful back drop to set the mood while you take a little boy on a ride through a snowy wonderland.

THWACK!

"You bitch! This isn't fun anymore!"

It was fun for her at the moment, and that's all that mattered, "We're going down! Brace for impact!" Fuu shouted over the roaring wind as she began to ascend even higher.

"Going down means go to the ground, not go up to the fucking moon!" Naruto shouted, holding on to that chain for dear life.

Once Fuu reached the apex of her ascension, she leaned forward and turned off her wings, letting both her and Naruto fall victim to the forces of gravity. The two jinchuuriki began to pick up speed as they got closer and closer to the treetops.

Fuu laughed in excitement once she passed Naruto, smacking his arm away from her once she saw that same jutsu from earlier aimed at her, "Aren't you having fun? I'm having a great time!"

"I hate you!" Let it be known that Naruto Uzumaki did not like being smashed into a bunch of trees, flown into the air, and dropped towards the ground at high speeds.

Feeling pine brush against her skin and seeing green and brown everywhere, Fuu turned her wings back on and flew even quicker towards the ground, only to level out sharply at the last second and fly back up at an angle to get the chain to slam Naruto harshly into the ground below. Snow sprayed everywhere from the improvised slam. Judging by the thud and cracks, his landing wasn't the most gentle one out there.

"Oops, I might have killed him. Yikes." Fuu grimaced, landing on the ground beside Naruto, legs twitching as his upper body was concealed, or buried, deep into the snow and ground. She unwrapped the chain from around her neck and dropped it in the snow, rubbing her throat, "Chains made out of chakra though... that's crazy. I guess other jinchuuriki have to have some kind of weird jutsu."

In the middle of her thoughts, her shinobi instincts screamed for her to dodge, so she quickly leapt to the side. Narrowly avoiding another Naruto from kicking her in the back of the neck, she smiled, "You're still not done?! Yay, I thought that was it!" Fuu smirked deviously as she ran through hand seals, "My turn for a jutsu! Hiden: Rinpungakure no Jutsu (Hiden: Hiding in Scale Powder Technique)!"

When Fuu's mouth opened, the clone standing beside the original, as well as the others hidden out of sight, got blinded immediately. Some kind of bright dust filled the area and reflected the moonlight exceptionally well. Too well, as a matter of fact.

It didn't deter Fuu from attacking and dispelling the clone in front of her, or the clones that gave away their positions either. Quick, lethal, and sharp her attacks were once she realized that none of them were real.

Eventually the dust went away, leaving Fuu and Naruto in the clearing. Although she wanted to get Naruto out of the ground, she knew that touching him could end badly for her. He had some kind of weird ability to use his skeleton for weapons, so grabbing him was a no go.

Well... he was already hurt. So she punt kicked him in the hip in hopes that it would dislodge him. The first few attempts didn't do anything but just tilt him to the side. Frowning, Fuu decided to just throw caution to the wind and yank him out my his legs.

Once out, Naruto was tossed onto his back in the snow.

Fuu winced again. Shoulders and arms weren't supposed to be bent that way, "Oh fuck, I crippled him!" She began to pace back and forward, grabbing her hair in concern for her fellow jinchuuriki, "Oh man, oh man! What do I do?! I can't bring him back with me and babysit him the whole exam, my team would flip! Plus, he'd probably kill them if he got the chance..." While she continued to pace and panic, she didn't notice Naruto's arms popping back into place.

She didn't notice his red eyes open and stare at her either.

"I didn't want to actually kill or cripple him, I just wanted to have fun!" Grabbing a poor tree she stood by, she headbutted it repeatedly, making sure that each instance of contact matched up perfectly with her words, "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid..."

Honestly, Naruto was planning to actually get up and murder her, but he realized that that was the influence of his biju talking. Shutting off the malevolent chakra, he gingerly tested his arms. Feeling that they were okay enough for now, he got up, fished an explosive tag out of his pocket, and activated it while dropping it down into the snow near Fuu, who was too busy killing the tree with her strong forehead to notice him.

A clone silently popped into existence, slinging the original over his shoulder and whispering as they snuck away, "Boss, you sure I can't just go back and stab her?"

Not even three seconds later, that previous area was blown to holy hell. Kami, Uzumaki explosive tags were a godsend.

"You can do whatever you want Stabby, after you get me somewhere away from her." The original groaned as he coughed up blood. Enhanced bones be damned, his organs weren't able to be held up to the same standard, "Ow, I hate flying. I hate trees too."

Running through the snow while keeping an eye out for any hostility, Stabby snorted, "She didn't even need to punch you and you're already fucked up. Thank Kami we heal quick."

"Right. Where would we be without enhanced healing and Uzumaki awesomeness?"

"You'd be dead!" Shooting down from above, Fuu dive bombed the two identical ninjas. Stabby immediately dispersed due to the impact while Naruto was sent rolling through the snow. He rolled through and ended up on his feet, staring at the clearly disgruntled jinchuuriki before him.

Instead of engaging her in the open space provided, Naruto stuck his tongue out at her and hauled ass in the opposite direction. Her flight ability in the open was not something he wanted to deal with, so he had to take it to the trees.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?!" Fuu shouted as she chased after Naruto. They weren't done yet!

Reaching the trees, a poof of smoke signaled clones of Naruto coming into existence. They opted to take to the trees in different directions in order to throw her off before retaliating.

The original, on the other hand, had different plans, "Gotta get my gun back, it was a bitch to make it." He thought out loud as he skillfully traversed through the wilderness, away from Fuu. It felt weird as hell when he used his leg to make the barrel.

A foot for the stock kept him from moving much that day.

After ten minutes of travel, he landed in the area where it all started. Walking up to the tree he fell from while keeping his eyes trained to the snow, the jinchuuriki paced around, "It's gotta be around here somewhere... gotta be." Without even trying, ten more copies of Naruto came into existence before fanning out. They all knew what to look for.

Ouch. Naruto winced at the memories of his clones being absolutely destroyed. For a cheery girl like that, she surely had no problem with horribly assaulting people.

Then again, they were shinobi. You had to be good at killing, otherwise you were going to end up as another corpse far away from home.

"Found it, boss!"

Excellent! Now then, time to weigh his options.

He could go back and try to get a piece of Fuu as compensation for driving him skull first into this hard-ass ground. There wasn't even a need for him himself to get near. Clones with chakra chains could hold her down long enough for him to put a bullet in her. Nowhere lethal because she was interesting to him, but she had to bleed a little for him to feel better.

Or, he could go out and slaughter some non-important teams in hopes of finding a scroll or two. He needed something to show for when he returned back to his team so they wouldn't have too much to chew him out over.

The night was still young... decisions, decisions.

Well, might as well be productive and go get some scrolls.

X.X.X.

(With Tayuya and Shikamaru)

BOOM!

Shikamaru's eyes shot wide open the minute he heard and felt the explosion. On one hand, those Uzumaki tags Naruto set up a perimeter with packed quite the punch.

On the other hand, they were too effective at waking him up.

Troublesome.

"Rise and shine, lazy ass. We got company." Tayuya grinned, looking towards the entrance of the cave. Undoing the clasp on her hip holster, she pulled her flute out with an excited grin, "I've been wanting to cut loose for a long time now."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Of course she was looking for a fight. Her and Naruto needed to shake that mindset cause it did nothing but put them at risk. Well, mainly Shika was the one at risk, "That's just perfect. Go work your Orochimaru magic on them and keep it down." He grumbled as he rolled over to fall back asleep, "I'll be here sleeping."

Good old Nara genes. When in the face of danger, roll over and try to take a nap.

Her eyebrow twitched hard, but Tayuya surprisingly didn't yell and curse him out. She just booted him directly in the ass, hard enough to roll him over three more times until he hit the cave wall, "Shika, quit being a fucking pussy and come on! In case you've forgotten, we need scrolls."

Troublesome exam. Troublesome scrolls. Troublesome teammates. This nap was calling him, begging him to take it, but alas. The work of a true genius is never done, "First of all, ow." The Nara groaned while getting up, rubbing his sore rear and mean mugging Tayuya, "Why did you have to kick me in my ass? Sore ass is never a good thing."

"Oh I'm sure you know all about sore ass, Shika," Tayuya snickered while keeping her eyes peeled for any movement outside of the cave. Three more seconds of observance rewarded her, "Got one. They're moving this way, I'll take the high ground." Once Shika nodded and began to think, Tayuya stayed low and dashed out through the snow, eventually taking to the trees.

Yawning, Shikamaru channeled some chakra in preparation for the upcoming fight. Last time he got to work some of his water shadow techniques, it was that huge guy from Orochimaru's circle. It was only one jutsu, and it wasn't even in the same league as his new ones.

"Stupid Naruto and his creativity and troublesome desire to make new jutsu... always rubbing off on me." Shika groaned as he heard something moving through the snow in front of him.

Some guy with a grey poncho with extra long sleeves, bandages covering most of his head, a big straw raincoat on his back, and grey camo pants sat in a tree in front of the cave. While Shikamaru wasn't all the way out in the open, he could still see the guy.

Judging by how he was looking directly at Shikamaru, he knew where Shika was too. Troublesome.

"So, would you like to come out, or would you rather me come in?" The mummy asked politely, letting his sleeves hang freely off of the branch, "I know you're in there, I can hear your breathing."

So this guy had some sort of super hearing? Great. It didn't matter though, 'cause Shikamaru had the clear advantage as of now. One, it was nighttime, which meant there shadows just about everywhere.

Two, he moulded enough chakra.

Two solid red eyes opened behind Shikamaru as if there were a creature living in the darkness. Rubbing his neck while exiting the cave, Shikamaru looked up at his potential opponent, "I don't suppose you're alone, and I'm guessing you're not here to become best friends with me."

A shake of the head gave the pineapple-headed boy the answer to his sarcastic questions, "A sense of humor will take you far in some circles, but it won't get you anywhere with me."

Shrugging, Shika put his hands in his pockets, "Hey, can't fault me for trying. If you're here for scrolls, you're pretty much out of luck, Mr..." The Nara trailed off in hopes of getting a name.

"Dosu." Dosu evenly replied, "Are you that confident in your abilities to prevent me from killing you and Tayuya and taking the scrolls?" The fact that the boy stood below with his hands in his pockets was a clear sign of either two options.

One, he was severely underestimating him.

Two, he was far beyond Dosu's level and didn't see him as a threat at all.

Far be it for Dosu to be the fool and jump down into a potential trap. He could wait for Zaku and Kin to catch up before engaging. There was no rush, no need to take unnecessary risks.

"Tayuya, Tayuya... doesn't ring a bell. Who's that?" Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow. This guy must've been from Orochimaru's camp if he knew who she was, crap. Come to think of it, was that a sound note on his headband?

Sound note, Sound Four...

Oh. Duh, Shikamaru. He really should've connected the dots.

"Playing dumb is not a good choice since I already have the information needed. You're Shikamaru Nara, teammate to Tayuya and Naruto Uzumaki." Dosu informed. He had to give him points for the misdirection attempt, as weak as it was, "Would you like to make it easier on yourself and just hand Tayuya over?"

The sound of a flute being played brought a smirk on Shikamaru's face, "You'll get her soon enough."

Dosu's acute hearing picked up on something large and heavy headed straight for his side. With no need to even look to his right, he jumped straight from the tree towards Shikamaru, narrowly avoiding a large, studded, metal club destroying the branch and top portion of the tree.

Dosu's singular eye narrowed at the sight of Shikamaru running back to the cave. He threw a kunai towards his legs in an attempt to cripple him, but the club who killed the tree blocked the thrown weapon.

"This... this isn't good." The mummy stated as he backed away slowly from the hulking brute before him. No face was visible due to the long hair obscuring it. The giant wore a full body green outfit, and it didn't seem friendly, "Not good at all."

Without cue, the club user rushed forward and slammed the club down in an attempt to smush Dosu. Unfortunately for the brute, Dosu leapt back and ran up the length of the club the minute it touched the ground, "I don't like being attacked." Pulling back his sleeve once he got close to its face, he threw a punch to its cheek.

Although the creature dodged, Dosu didn't seem perturbed at all. Instead, a ear splitting sound emerged from the holed gauntlet on his arm as he jumped back down to the ground. He smirked under the bandages once the giant started to thrash about wildly, grabbing its head and stomping around.

"I see you've run across one of them too, these things aren't a joke. One of them kicked Kin straight to sleep." A newcomer grumbled as he landed beside Dosu. If the sound headband, grey camo pants, and beige shirt was an indicator, this had to be a teammate of Dosu's.

"You mean to tell me there's more of these things?" Dosu asked in disbelief as he eyed his target warily, "What are they capable of, Zaku?"

Shifting Kin around on his shoulder, Zaku snorted, "Let's see, one has no arms but can kick the shit out of everything, and the other has these arm blades taped to his arms for punching and elbowing." The one in front of the two regained his bearings, lifting his club high in the air single-handedly, "Yikes, I'd hate to get hit with that thing." He threw Kin to the side, ready to engage the threat at a moment's notice.

"I got this one, I need you to go flush out the Nara from that cave." Dosu gestured to the cave on their left.

Which happened to be where the darkness within the cave seemingly came to life, writhing and fluctuating as though it were water.

Zaku looked at the cave entrance blankly, "...Yeah, I'll just destroy the entrance and trap him in there. I'm not dumb enough to deal with a Nara while surrounded by shadows."

"Well get to it, he's moving again!" Dosu growled as he took off back into the trees to avoid getting killed by the behemoth's swing of the club. He didn't even bother to look back at the trees that were shattered to splinters.

No, he had to come up with something. There was no sign of Tayuya, the Nara was doing something with the shadows in the cave, and there were two more unaccounted giants skulking around.

There was also the sound of a flute playing nearby, which was rather odd... wait. Kabuto did mention that Tayuya was a long range fighter who specialized in sound based genjutsu. So these things were probably hers, meaning that she was watching the whole time.

The only place she could comfortably watch from without exposing herself was from up above, meaning she was somewhere in the trees!

Dosu checked over his shoulder to see what his pursuer was doing. Hopping through the trees with speed that wasn't expected of someone its size, the thing was hot on his tail.

His eyes rolled. Of course things couldn't be made easy for Dosu. Now think, how could he shake the brute and find somewhere to listen out for Tayuya? Maybe a smoke bomb would do the trick...

Jumping straight to a tree in front of him, he let the smoke bomb he produced from his sleeve go. Once even his vision became obscured, Dosu speedily leapt away from his previous perch, actually heading towards the ground. There were bushes there, and with the lack of foliage on trees with all of the cold, losing his tail was a tall task.

Now then, all he had to do was sit and listen.

To his left, he heard something large and metal in the distance.

He also heard faint whispers of someone speaking at ninety miles an hour and someone else telling them to shut the fuck up.

Strange.

To his left yet slightly up, he heard cheerful whistling, as well as a rather jaunty tune.

 _"I'm gonna punch Neji right in the kidney once or twice, I'm gonna beat his ass to the brink of death, just to be nice. I'm gonna give Tenten a kiss on the cheek, then I'm gonna set the world ablaze with the flames of youth, shout out to Lee!"_

 _"Is that a team I spy?" With my badass eye?"_

 _"Is that the train thing with the scrolls?"_

 _"Fuck, I'm hungry. Maybe I should go find Choji and take his snacks..."_

... Right.

At least he knew where the train was and where to head once his business with Tayuya was done.

Behind him... controlled breathing up high, along with the flute being played!

"Got you..." Dosu whispered as he stealthily made his way towards her position. With practiced ease he ascended, reaching Tayuya with his arm reared back to attack, "Found you!"

Too bad one of her Doki picked that exact moment to fall from above, stomp down on Dosu's head, and fall directly to the ground with Dosu under its heel.

Tayuya watched the blood spray from under her Doki's foot, smirking once she confirmed the dead body with the crushed head, "Did he really think I would just sit out here with no guards? Orochimaru sure is slacking with the lackeys."

"I am? Dear Tayuya, I'm afraid since you and Naruto left and killed the rest of the Sound Four off, the quality of underlings has really plummeted."

She didn't even waste time. She didn't turn around.

She didn't try to confirm who it was visually.

She just ran. Even though she knew he could immediately end her life at any time he wanted if he was this close, it didn't matter.

Her curse mark turned on and jumped to level two as she bolted straight from that tree.

Orochimaru chuckled deeply. It always warmed his heart to strike fear in those who forgot where they came from.

Poor Dosu... who was he kidding? Him and his whole team were nothing more than expendables. Speaking of his team, where were the others? Did they end up dead yet as well?

"Orochimaru-sama, you didn't have to step in. I was prepared to strike her down for you." Kabuto announced as he appeared in front of the Sannin, kneeling with his head bowed out of respect.

"Of course you were, Kabuto-kun. That's why I stepped in." Orochimaru looked around the forest, basking in the late night atmosphere. Perfect time to run around and observe the latest generation, "You're merely here to take note of any potential, not snuff it out."

"You're right, my apologies." The grey-haired youth bowed hastily in apology, catching a vague sight of Tayuya retreating. Even if he said it wasn't, that could still be a problem, "What if she tells someone important that you're here? Surely that would throw a wrench in our plans..."

That could pose a problem. Not a problem of being killed, because he was Orochimaru. Competition for him in the world was small and too spread thin to pose a threat here. Yes, the Kage of the participating villages could potentially mobilize and try to deal with him.

S-ranked criminal like himself stalking through the forest potentially tampering with village hopefuls? Definitely a reason to stop the exams and hunt the snake down.

... But in reality, it wouldn't happen. The egotistical fools running the villages wouldn't band together to get rid of him. The Raikage and Tsuchikage would probably just shift the blame onto Hiruzen, painting him in a more negative light and perhaps even planting a seed of suspicion amongst them all. Oh, he could just picture how quickly that could spiral out of control!

What if Orochimaru was there to stop other villages from prospering? What genin could actually stand against him?

The thought of that brought a very wide smile to Orochimaru's face. It was quite the stretch, but boy, the potential of that happening was absolutely delicious to think about.

Onoki and A would surely take the chance to start something from it. All it took was one match to ignite the world in an inferno of war. Could a war start from that though? More than likely.

As interesting as it was, it had a very slim chance of coming to light. Shame.

"Worry not my boy, I'll see to Tayuya personally. She won't tell, this I'm sure of it." And with that, Orochimaru was no longer in front of Kabuto.

Kabuto frowned, his breath easily visible in the cold. His master was playing a very dangerous game, and now was being downright reckless. From Kabuto's understanding, Orochimaru entered the wilderness to just observe the genin. He wasn't going to let anyone know of his presence.

But now...

No.

This wasn't the time to question Orochimaru's motives. He was a grown man, a legendary shinobi of renowned skill, fully capable of handling whatever situations he got himself into. Kabuto just needed to focus on his mission.

But wait, what was that loud sound? It sounded like a horn being blared... could that be?

He pressed himself against the tree trunk to conceal himself in the nighttime. Shadows and blurs streaked across the forest floor, all heading towards the direction of the sound that echoed across the land.

Smirking, he pushed his glasses back up on his nose. Pretty soon there was going to be conflict. Jutsu flying about, combat, potential deaths.

Perfect for him. Intel was his mission, after all.

X.X.X.

(With Shikamaru & Zaku)

"So, you're not gonna come out?"

"Nope."

"You're too much of a pussy to come out and get demolished? Leaf ninja are so soft, I swear to Kami!"

"Well, when you put it that way for the seventh time... my thoughts on the matter might change a bit."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll take one step closer to you. Exciting, isn't it?"

"...I'm really ready to bury you in that cave, you piece of shit!"

"I honestly don't know why you haven't yet, it's what I've would've done if I were in your shoes."

"'Cause! You're planning something!"

"Of course I am, I'm a Nara. It's in my genes... but I'm wearing cargo pants."

Zaku's eyebrow twitched.

"You know, you could just come in here. It's nice and roomy, you're probably better than me at close quarters combat, so why not?"

Zaku rolled his eyes as he stared dully at the seemingly alive shadows in the cave. If that weren't a big enough deterrent, the two glowing red eyes from within definitely filled him with notions of not going in at all costs.

It's not like he didn't try to kill the idiot already, but those pesky shadows seemed to be doing something. Every kunai he threw at Shikamaru, who was standing in plain sight with his hands in his pockets, was intercepted by a shadow. It was stupid!

He was trying to see if taunting him would bring him out of the cave would work, but it wasn't in the cards for him today. That only left one option, "I guess I'll really just have to fuck you up with jutsu..." Zaku muttered ominously, crouching low to the ground.

"Finally, a reason to take my hands out."

Zaku should've leapt away and avoided whatever was coming next, but upon seeing that it was a smoke bomb, he actually stood up straight in disbelief, "All of that buildup just for a smoke bomb?! What kind of fool do you take me for?"

"The kind that gives his back to the enemy." Shikamaru said as he emerged from a bush behind Zaku. Zaku tried to turn to face the Nara and kill him with his jutsu, but his movement wasn't correlating with his brain due to their shadows being connected. Shikamaru turned around in a full circle to let Zaku turn around to see the smug satisfaction on Shika's face. God, he loved when a plan came together, "Surprised?"

"Wha-wha-wh-h-how?! You were just in the cave! I kept an eye on the cave this whole time since I got here! You couldn't have came out!" This wasn't good, not at all! This Nara kid caught him with a shadow and had him dead to rights!

"Yeah... the cave had another exit. All I did was leave a clone in front of you to talk and occupy you while I took the long way around. Think I'd sleep in a cave without thoroughly examining it?" The answer was absolutely yes, but this guy didn't need to know that. Even if he did just have Naruto clear the whole thing with clones, it was more cool to make it seem like it was all him.

Troublesome, Naruto and Sasuke's egotistical tendencies were rubbing off on him.

"But, that... thing! With the big red eyes! What was that for?"

"Oh that? That's classified. Gotta keep my secrets after all, you know how it goes." Rolling his neck and brushing snow off of his shoulder, Shikamaru pointed at his victim, "Oh yeah, before this goes sour, got any scrolls? I'd be inclined to give you a head start if you did."

Zaku channeled as much chakra as he could to his palms through his arms. There wasn't any chance he could perform hand seals to do his usual jutsu, but all of this chakra had to do something. He was hoping that it would break this connection with their shadows.

Just a bit more...

There!

Shikamaru frowned. His head was itching something fierce, so he scratched it and rubbed it with his palm, Zaku doing the same with a look of absolute horror on his face. Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow, "Why so scar-?"

Zaku's head, neck, and upper body was disgustingly blown to smithereens due to his palm letting loose all of that chakra right then and there. Poor guy.

"... I know I don't have any suicide inducing jutsu, so I must've caught him in the middle of him trying something. Huh, funny how things work out." With that done, Shikamaru ceased connection with the shadows in the cave, allowing the red eyes to go away.

One day, he'll overcome the obstacle holding him back from completing his jutsu. If only there was a way to actually go inside of a shadow, or detach his shadow from him and let it act independently...

Oh well. From what he had to work with now, it was pretty good. Admittedly, the cave part was a little overboard, but hey. He'd been working on his reserves nonstop, so they naturally grew over time. His dad joked that he was trying to gain Uzumaki levels of chakra all the time because of how much they grew recently.

Getting to an Uzumaki level of chakra sounded like too much though. With all of that energy, he'd be inclined to use it more, which meant more moving around and doing things.

Which meant less sleeping and lazing about. A rather unappealing concept if he was going to be completely honest.

The Nara's head turned to the west once he heard the sound of a loud horn, "Tch, that's probably the train thing." Standing for a moment to weigh his options, he palmed his face, sliding his hand down as he groaned, "And that's probably where my team is headed. Troublesome."

Before taking off, he looked around at the shadows, eventually staring at his own.

... His shadow gained two red eyes and stared back, smiling devilishly as its shoulders shook. Almost as though it were laughing sinisterly.

X.X.X.

(With Tayuya)

It was do or die at this point.

Quite frankly, it was ninety-nine point nine percent die, and point one percent do due to the massive gap in skill, but hey. She was feeling lucky that day.

As she stared down the massive snake in front of her with her yellow eyes, her hands trembled while they held her combat flute to her lips. Immediately her Doki appeared in defensive positions around her on the branch.

A tense stare down ensued. The massive reptile staring down its prey versus the dark skinned flute player and her puppets staring down a threat. The tension could be grabbed, stabbed, and killed due to how tangible it felt.

"Tayuya-chan, why so tense? Do you think I'm here to hurt you?" Orochimaru asked from atop the snake's head, smiling like it was a casual reunion, "Relax, dear. I'm not here for you or Naruto. That was Dosu and his team's job, and unfortunately they failed spectacularly."

"Why the fuck are you here?! Go away you sadistic sack of snake shit!" Tayuya roared out of anger and fear. Why was he here out of all times?! What did he want?!

"My dear, I'm merely here to observe the upcoming generation. See the potential the big five have... see how you and Naruto are coming along." His smile grew considerably more wide, "Speaking of Naruto, where is my favorite student? I want to see him."

"Stay away from him!" The last thing Naruto needed right now was Orochimaru rearing his ugly head and giving him tunnel vision. They had objectives to be after, "You've done more than enough to us!"

The snake instantly uncoiled, striking forward to take the nearest Doki it could grab off of the branch. Luckily Tayuya escaped at the last second, but she let that sudden attack take her eyes off of the real danger.

While she was still airborne from escaping, Orochimaru sped through the air to grab her by her neck, using her body as a shield to brace for impact. The two crashed into a tree, Orochimaru driving his knee into Tayuya's sternum to take her breath away and disorient her. Pushing off of the tree, Orochimaru flipped backwards and threw Tayuya to the snow-covered ground.

"Always remember Tayuya-chan, never get distracted by your enemy." Orochimaru chided with a wagging finger, stalking towards the downed kunoichi, "Because then somebody will take advantage of you, and you wouldn't want that again, would you?"

If she could be anywhere but here right now, Tayuya would sacrifice a whole village full of innocents just to teleport away.

The two remaining Doki crashed down in front of Orochimaru, defensively taking up positions to keep him away from their summoner. Without her playing the flute, they were mere ogres with no true intelligence.

But what they lacked in intelligence, they made up for in sheer brute force.

The one with no arms dashed forward, raising its leg high into the air for a devastating axe kick. Letting its leg snap down, the ground cracked from the impact, yet it didn't feel anything soft and squishy under its heel.

A snake rushed from the side of the giant, soaring through the air to clamp down on its face. The serpent began pumping copious amounts of venom into the victim's face.

With no arms to remove the snake, the Doki roared out in pain as it ran around the clearing, looking for the nearest hard surface it could find. Finding a boulder, the Doki began to headbutt the rock relentlessly until it couldn't take anymore, dispelling itself and returning back to where it came.

The one with the club was the last line of defense. The only thing standing in between its summoner and the strong human.

Tayuya managed to stand shakily, bringing her flute to her lips to begin playing.

Until Orochimaru appeared from behind, kicked the Doki with enough strength to send it flying away, swiftly disarmed Tayuya with almost childish ease, and enveloped her in dozens of snakes.

Kami, this man was ridiculous.

"Once again, my dear. I'm not here to hurt you or Naruto, or any of the genin for that matter." Orochimaru sighed as he caressed her cheek, relishing in the look of absolute fear and hate coming from her.

"My throat and chest call bullshit on that."

"Shh. Ignore them, they know not what they speak of." The Sannin joked. His joking demeanor shifted to a far more serious one as his eyes narrowed, "Nobody is to know about me being here. If anything changes, and trust me I will notice, I'll come for you and Naruto myself. No more lackeys, no more grunts, just me with no holding back versus you two." A snake drew close to Tayuya's eye with its fangs bared, venom clearly dripping from its maw, "Understand?"

"Fuck you."

His fist smashed dead into her cheek.

"Now's not the time for that rebellious teen phase you girls go through." He snarled. His eyes then widened, a nasty smirk finding its way onto his face, "My, how could I have forgotten? No need to resort to physical reinforcement, I can just play with your curse mark."

Snap.

Tayuya instantly felt pain so severe she almost blacked out right then and there. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her skin burned, her throat and mouth dried out. Everything hurt, and there was no way to stop it.

"Do I have your cooperation now?"

"Please stop!"

"You know my terms, Tayuya-chaaan."

"Whatever, just please fucking stop!"

The pain went away.

"Good girl. Now put on a good show, because you're being watched from here on out." The sickening cackle echoed throughout the clearing as Orochimaru disappeared, leaving Tayuya laying in the snow.

Too weak to keep the chakra circulating, Tayuya's cursed mark receded, leaving her back to normal. Compared to beatings she took in her past, that was really nothing.

It was the curse mark part that sapped away her energy. Fuck, was he capable of doing that shit at any given moment?

But, there wasn't any excuses she could make for herself right now to just lay there. She had to soldier on and keep it pushing. Her two teammates were still out there somewhere.

Who knows what they could've gotten into, especially Naruto. That shithead probably went off to go fight a biju knowing him...

And Shika? She just hoped that the lazy shit wasn't dead or crippled somewhere. Out of the three of them, he was the weakest. He didn't have straight knockout power like Naruto, and he didn't have ways to fight without actually fighting like her.

But then again, he had been training lately so who knows?

A horn sound to her left brought Tayuya's head out of the snow. That was probably the fucking train thing that held the scrolls. Well, she knew where she was going.

If she was going to get humiliated like this, the least she could do for her team is bring back something to show for her efforts.

X.X.X.

(With Team Gai)

Tenten shot up from her seat, fully awake from her quick nap. All of them were awake now, and for a good reason.

The train's horn went off.

They all shared serious looks with each other, confirming their suspicions together.

The enemies were coming.

Now of course, they went through and got all of the three scrolls they needed. They didn't even have to stay with the train any longer. Tenten had the scrolls sealed up safe and sound in a scroll.

But...

They were honestly kind of bored. Neji and Lee were definitely looking for combat to get their blood pumping while Tenten just wanted a bit of action as well.

And what better way to get some action than trying to make a stand and defend their mobile base of operations?

"Tenten, up on the roof. Try to pick them off. Lethally or not, up to you. At the very least slow them down." Neji ordered as he checked the traps that Tenten had set up earlier. They weren't extremely effective but Tenten's imagination was scary. Most if not all of the traps led the victim right into the danger zone of the other.

This was the room where they would make their stand. If they got in here, they'd be jumped by both Neji and Lee at once. If they were Konoha affiliated and didn't have Uzumaki for a last name, then they would be given some leniency, maybe even a chance to get a scroll or two.

If they got a scroll though, then Neji and Lee would beat them down, just to have some fun.

Getting fired up by shadow boxing by one of the windows on the right of the train car, Lee had a extra bright smile on his face. It was game time, time to show the other competitors had in store for them, "Yosh! Finally! A chance to show the world my flames of youth!" He started throwing kicks around, barely able to contain his excitement, "Who will be the first opponent?"

"Is this a window?"

All conversation in the car, all noise ceased immediately the minute the trio heard the voice from outside.

Lee crouched down and scooted back to avoid being in the line of sight.

"Yeah, it's a window Omoi. All right, this is how we enter."

Tenten stood in a doorway for the previous car, a salvo of ranged weaponry at the ready to pepper anybody who dared to enter.

"Omoi, bust the window open with your sword, I'll throw in a smoke bomb in case anyone is in their to cover our movements."

Neji grimaced. How foolish of him to assume that there would be no other close quarters shinobi participating. Now they had to deal with at least one swordsman in these enclosed spaces.

PSSSH!

The grass was shattered, allowing the smoke bomb to fill the room and lower the visibility. Omoi came through first, followed by Karui, then Samui. All three had their blades at the ready while Samui frowned, "I can't access my chakra."

"Yeah, me either! Oh man, oh man! This is bad!" Omoi whispered, grabbing his head with his free hand and shaking it, "What if somebody booby trapped the whole train with chakra negation tags?! Then the train is designed to seal us in?! What if that Doto guy who's hosting it is using the train as a way to get us all killed and weaken the big five? Lock us in here, take away our chakra, then... I dunno, derail it? Crash it off of a mountain? Then we all die!"

"Omoi?"

Omoi took a break from thinking himself into an anxiety attack to answer his teammate, "Yes Karui?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Samui picked up on the sound of metal flying through the air from her right, and jumped in front of Omoi to deflect whatever was thrown at him, "There's other people in here, scatter!"

"Quite the astute observation." Neji said with a sarcastic applause, only to jump up to avoid being ran through with a sword. Remembering that he couldn't stick to the walls with chakra, he kicked off the wall and flipped over his assailant's head. He turned around with a pivot to elbow whoever attacked him in the spine, but they were no longer there.

"Don't speak and give away your position!" The disembodied voice of Samui echoed in the train car. Good thing she used that age old shinobi trick of throwing one's voice.

She was right. The smoke created a battle where sound was all that you really had in order to find out where someone was. And judging by the fact that Team Samui toted swords, they had a way easier time of settling this with finality.

With the exception of Tenten, Team Gai relied on fists and feet.

But one slip up, one peep from any of them and Team Samui could chop them down. It was the safer alternative, after all.

In a room with hostiles and very minute visibility, it was better to shoot to kill so to speak first and ask questions later.

Everyone stood frozen in their spots, trying to see through the smoke to differentiate between friend and foe. Nobody dared to move and risk getting attacked.

...The door to the next car opened.

"Oh shit, it's smoked out in here. Better tell boss."

Then it closed back with a slam.

The sounds of swords piercing through a metal door plus Naruto's voice reaching Neji's ears gave him and Lee all the cue they needed to rush that position and stomp the shit out of whoever they could get their hands on. He didn't hear the dispelling of the clone though.

"Shit!" Karui cursed once she realized her mistake! She and Omoi left themselves wide open while trying to stab whoever was just at this door, 'cause now their swords had to be pulled out.

"Konoha Senpū (Leaf Whirlwind)!"

Karui knew they fucked up once the first kick bounced off of her cheek from the back. The second one went straight for her ribs, damn near cracking them. Once she realized that she was sweeped off her feet and her beaten cheek touched the floor first, Karui honestly wanted to get the fuck out of there.

But when Lee dropped an axe kick directly onto her upper back, she knew that wasn't happening any time soon. Not with the ass beating they were receiving.

From the whooshing of metal sliding through to air to her right, it sounded like Omoi got a kunai out to keep his attacker at bay. Shit, she should've thought of that!

"Enough! Let my team go or else I slit her throat."

"Guys, blade to my neck. Please, don't get me killed 'cause I'm too pretty for the afterlife!" Tenten cried out hysterically.

Instantly picking up on the situation, Neji drew a kunai as well before rushing forward with a shoulder check to Omoi. His gamble of Omoi letting his guard down due to his teammate having Tenten as a hostage worked. As soon as Omoi's spine crunched against the hilt of his sword in the door, Neji grabbed him by his shirt, flipped him over Neji's shoulder onto the floor, and yanked his head back by his hair and placed the kunai to his neck with enough force to draw blood.

"If we're down a teammate, you are as well."

Shing!

"Make that two teammates." Lee said with an odd calmness as he pressed the tip of Karui's sword against her head. It wasn't his usual mode of operation to resort to such tactics, but Tenten was at risk and he'd be damned if he couldn't help.

After two minutes or so, the smoke in the room finally began to disperse, allowing the opposing sides to see each other.

Outwardly, Samui looked cool, calm, collected at the sight of Lee sitting on Karui's back with her sword pressed against her skull and Neji kneeling on Omoi's back with a kunai to his throat.

On the inside though, she was angry, scared. And also dissapointed. She knew that there was no winning this standoff, not with how the cards were dealt to her, "We can work something out."

Neji chuckled, a somewhat dark smirk creeping onto his face, "Fate has decreed us the winners of this engagement. And as the winners, we want our teammate back." Neji purposely nicked Omoi's neck to let some blood weep out, "Once she's free from you, we can work out negotiations about letting one of them go."

"If I were you sweetheart, I'd let me go. The one with the crazy eyebrows isn't an asshole, but the Hyuuga is. Trust me." Tenten whispered, not even for her own sake, but for Omoi's. Neji seemed to be taking too much pleasure in holding Omoi hostage like that, "Please, I don't want to see your teammate get his throat slit because you got something to prove."

Samui frowned, actually letting her usual calm facade down, "Take her back, but if you cut him again..." Samui warned ominously. She let Tenten go but kept her tanto at the ready should Tenten try to pull anything, but she was surprised when all Tenten did was slide her a scroll from under her poncho with some slick sleight of hand.

"You can let them go Neji, I'm alive now." Tenten grumbled as she walked to her teammates, frowning at how bad Karui's face was bruised, "Yikes Lee, try bruising her harder next time."

"My apologies." Lee said as he put down her sword and got off of Karui to stand in front of Tenten, "I just didn't know who I was hitting so I hit as fast and hard as needed. I would've held back if I could see her..."

"You sexist piece of shit!" Karui roared as she grabbed her sword and got off the floor in attempt to chop Lee to bits. How dare he kick her shit in, then apologize for it because he realized she was a girl? What kind of shit was that?!

Lee's body and mind went on auto pilot as he smoothly rotated with his foot out. When it made contact with Karui's face, he bounced her head off the wall with his foot, following it up with a three piece to her chin, ribs, and kidney. She was out cold before she fully slumped to the floor.

While Tenten and Lee were preoccupied with Karui, Samui rushed forward with fury in her eyes to stab whoever she could get her eyes on first. Yes, Karui should've just got up and came to her without provoking them. But stupid, hot-headed decision or not, they were still teammates. And teammates were supposed to retaliate with lethal intent if they saw one of their own get their ass handed to them.

It was like one of the ten commandments of being a ninja or something.

Seeing the fury in Samui's eyes, Neji knew what he had to do.

He chucked Omoi directly at Samui, using the flying teen as cover rush her down. While Samui was preoccupied with putting her tanto away so she didn't stab her comrade on accident, Neji came through with a forceful dual palm strike aimed directly at her side. The force blasted the blond away towards the window while Omoi rolled through his flight and landed on his feet, pulling out a smoke bomb and letting it loose.

Three different targets were his priority.

"Goddammit, this bullshit again?!" Tenten whined in exasperation. She was surprised when the smoke didn't last that long though, because once it cleared, the three Kumo nin were nowhere to be found. Neither were their swords.

"Well, they left. Whew, talk about intense." Tenten sighed as she looked outside through the broken window.

BOOM!

She brought her head back in immediately, wincing at the sounds of combat outside, "So, should we just be glad we have all three scrolls, and get the hell out of this thing? Because it's a war zone out there, and the winners are more than likely going to be coming in here."

X.X.X.

(Outside of the train)

"Out of the fire one second, directly back into it the next! Not cool!" Samui grunted as she kept Sasuke from gutting her and her team. The minute they got out of the train and hopped over to the other side, all hell broke loose.

At least half of the participating teams were going at it on the other side, and it was not looking good.

In the late night sky, a green and white blur zipped around shooting jutsu down into the trees below.

On the ground, absolute chaos. Fireballs, water balls, arcs of lightning, smoke, and various other projectiles flew about, sparing the local flora no quarter.

They stood atop the train for about thirty seconds before they noticed that something appeared to be off. The scenery for some strange reason seemed to be making them relaxed, sleepy even.

As soon as Omoi dozed off, dropped Karui beside him, and laid down on the train, Samui bit her tongue. The pain was enough for the genjutsu to go away.

She had about three seconds to draw her tanto and avoid Sasuke slicing her in half.

"Why me?" Samui asked conversationally as she kept the Uchiha at bay with her tanto. If only Omoi and Karui were awake.

"Simple," Sasuke smirked once his eyes turned red, a telltale sign of his kekkei genkai coming into play, "You just came out the train, you seem to be the only one awake on your team, which means you're probably carrying a scroll." His smirk dropped, "I want it." With that said, he threw a kick to her unguarded stomach while pressing down even more with his sword.

Once she slid back, barely avoiding tripping over her team, Sasuke followed along, swinging his blade with precision. Sparks flew as the two dueled for control, both trying their hardest not to fall off of the moving train.

Wait, were they moving faster?

The train's horn blared once again as it picked up speed, enough speed that the fighting both on and off the train ceased momentarily so that everyone could come to grips with how their objective was getting away.

"After it!"

Samui didn't spend much time worrying about the increase in speed. Instead, she rushed forward and Sparta kicked the distracted Sasuke off of the train. Kneeling down to wake her team up, she let a small arc of electricity race across her hand, shocking both Omoi and Karui to consciousness.

"Ow!"

"We have to get off of this train, we got a bull's-eye painted on our backs." Samui informed. All three off them looked to the left to see a dark-skinned girl running alongside the train, eventually speeding up past their position and jumping in their air with her arm cocked back.

Her red eyes narrowed in on Samui's as Nishi began to circulate chakra, "Bakuton: Yos- gaaaack!" A solid blue chain made out of chakra flew up and wrapped around Nishi's neck, yanking her out of the air harshly.

"I want your scrolls!" Naruto yelled as he ran beside the train. About ten clones of the jinchuuriki poofed into existence, with half of them jumping onto the train to get to the other side. They all kicked it into high gear and started to run fast enough to the point where they got past the train, taking up positions on both sides of the tracks.

Was what Naruto about to do really fucking reckless?

Yes.

Did he give a shit?

Not at all.

But before he and his clones did what they cane to do, he willed two more to pop up and grab Lee and Tenten out of the train.

With his conscious settled, all of the clones slammed their hands into the snow, "Kutsujoku Hōyō (Demeaning Embrace)!"

Ten skeletal forearms and hands erupted from the ground, each either grabbing the train or palming the fuck out of it to get it to stop.

Instead of stopping, all hell broke loose.

The first car was smacked off of the tracks to the right, while others didn't know which direction to go into due to the bony influence. So what happened?

The ugliest train wreck the shinobi nations ever seen.

Some cars even bounced into the air due to colliding with the one in front of it.

"Kami, the destruction... so beautiful!" Naruto squealed as he watched the metal vehicle wreck, pausing in his admiration of his handiwork to dodge when one of the train cars came his way at breakneck speed. The poor clones before him didn't stand a chance, but he did.

Once the absolutely wrecked train came to a stop, Naruto jumped back and climbed a tree to marvel at the sight of the horrific crash. He sure did hope that he got Tenten and Lee out.

His eyes throbbed. He received a memory, a memory of Neji gouging his clone's eyes out in the snow. Ugh, if only Neji stayed in there, he'd be absolutely dead.

The other combatants finally caught up to the massive wreck, disbelief clear in their eyes, some even displaying awe.

"Shithead, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?" Tayuya whispered in disbelief while she perched herself in a tree away from the wreckage to avoid being spotted.

"Troublesome, why not just completely destroy the thing that holds all of our objectives in it?"

"The dobe did that... he really did that."

"What the hell?! Naruto went too far!"

Deciding to bask in the momentary shock before it turned into all out warfare again, Naruto sent a clone out to go stand on top of the wreckage. The clone climbed up two fucked up train cars, cleared his throat, and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Sorry guys, I got carried away! But hey, at least we don't have to chase it down anymore, am I right?" Balls of lava, arcs of lighting, fireballs, kunai, senbon, sand, blades of wind, and balls of compressed water all converged on the clone and destroyed it without mercy, making the original sweat drop.

"Yikes, I might have overdone it."

"Gee, I don't think you did it enough." Fuu quipped sarcastically as she floated up behind Naruto. Clearly she wasn't in the best of moods judging by the scowl on her face.

Naruto slowly turned around and waved brightly at Fuu, "Please don't throw me out there, I'm pretty sure everyone is going to try to kill me now." Do first, think later. That was Naruto Uzumaki's modus operandi. No matter how stupid and reckless it was, he'd probably do it first before even considering the consequences.

Hindsight will always be twenty twenty.

 **X.X.X.**

 **Here's your early Christmas present.**

 **I'm back in this bitch guys, did you miss me? If not then good, I don't know you enough to miss you back.**

 **But if you did, three words.**

 **I love you.**

 **I return to you all with good news and bad news.**

 **Bad news is I'm hungry and sleep deprived.**

 **Good news, I'm not broke yet, I finally started my actual story, and I got a government job lined up within the following month. Plus Ab Soul and Gambino dropped some new music for me to get obsessed with.**

 **So now I have about half a month to finish RE HD, Resident Evil 4, and whatnot before I go back to working. I think I can do it.**

 **Side note, fuck call of duty, titanfall 2 is that shit. I recommend you go out and get it if you like fast paced shooters.**

 **But enough rambling about my life, that ain't what y'all here for. Naruto is an impulsive idiot, Orochimaru is out and about, Shikamaru just refuses to let us know what he's doing with moist shadows, and Gaara had to babysit his big brother for two more days while trying to murder anybody strong that he encounters...**

 **Oh yeah, and Fuu loves sneaking up on Naruto while he's in trees. Weird girl, that Fuu.**

 **So guys, what have we learned today?**

 **To read and review, emphasis on the second R word. Til next time folks, SPVNK out.**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto 'cause Santa is a bitch and didn't steal the rights from Kishimoto and leave it under my tree. Don't worry, I'll have my own wildly successful franchise. Then the roles will be reversed, somebody will be writing disclaimers about not owning my shit.

This disclaimer has a lot of words. Too many words...

Broken Tools

Chapter 18: Fuck the Devotion and Hemlock, the L-Star and Grenadiers is where the real fun and money is.

X.X.X.

(Above Ground Zero)

"Well then. That was something, un." Deidara chuckled, actually amazed. To take that large hunk of ugly metal off of its tracks, even with it being covered in chakra suppressing seals is nothing to scoff at. And to think, it all happened by a genin's hand, "That kid is something else."

Konan stood beside Deidara on his clay bird in silence for a moment. She couldn't see as far and as clearly as he could, but it didn't take eagle vision to see that mess of a train wreck play out.

Those skeletal hands that came from the ground too... definitely something to take note of.

"And here I was thinking that the Kaguya didn't exist anymore. This exam just got even more interesting." The blond mused, willing the bird to circle around so that he could get a clear sweep of the area. He didn't bother to react to Konan jumping off of the ride and turning into paper.

X.X.X.

(With Naruto and Fuu)

"You know, I'm kind of shocked here." Naruto mused as he and Fuu sat side by side on the tree branch, far away enough from the wreck that they couldn't be easily seen but close enough to see everything accurately.

Rolling her eyes, Fuu gave Naruto a dry look, "After the shit you just pulled, you're the one that's surprised?"

He nodded with no hesitation, "Yup. Mainly at two things."

Fuu shook her head, kicking her legs back and forth like a child, "Do tell."

"One." Naruto started, holding his hand out to tick off his surprises, "We're sitting side by side instead of trying to kill each other. Which is crazy since you slammed me into the ground with my own jutsu and I tried to blow you up."

To add on to the oddity of the situation, Fuu wrapped Naruto up in a hug with a bright smile, completely aware of the fact that Naruto could kill her with a sneeze right then and there, "Hey, it's what friends do for each other. Somebody's gotta humble us jinchuuriki, after all!"

Naruto didn't know why he didn't just stab through her right then and there, but something in him liked the hug. He actually smiled and leaned into it even further, "You do have a point there." The blond chuckled, ticking off his second point, "And secondly... shit I forgot."

Once she let him go, she deadpanned, "Wow." Fuu brushed some snow off of her head while observing the scene with a bit more scrutiny in play, "Well Naruto, I gotta hand it to you. You've single-handedly turned the whole exam upside down on its head." He really did.

Gone was the original premise of the second exam. Where teams were supposed to make their way onto the train, get their scrolls and make it out in one piece, then try to survive for the duration of the exam, instead they were all locked in place now. Everyone was here watching the wreckage from their various spots instead of charging forward to salvage what they could, and with good reason.

Who would be bold enough to walk out and expose oneself like that? With half of the teams participating watching, it's more of a suicide run than anything.

"Yo, that redhead guy is crazy! He's walking straight to the wreckage!"

Speak of the suicidal.

Gaara strolled through the snow at a calm and collected pace, not even attempting to look over his shoulder and dodge the various kunai, shuriken, and other assorted weapons.

He didn't need to.

The first salvo of weapons were stopped by his sand forming a protective wall behind him. With an automatic defense like that, it was no wonder that he took his sweet-ass time in getting to the wreckage. Once he arrived to a train car that was burning on the far end, he looked around for any scrolls that fell out of the cars.

A shock wave from an explosion behind him caught his attention momentarily before he grunted, "Weaklings. Mother will have your blood soon enough." He continued to scan the ground, eventually finding two different ones. Pocketing the objectives, Gaara turned around and looked dryly at the woods.

As hidden as they were visually, Gaara could feel blood lust pointing straight at him.

The scene was calm for about three seconds.

Then, the forest came to life as dozens of different long-ranged jutsu emerged from the trees. Three balls of fire screamed towards his position. Gaara didn't move however, because there was no need to. His sand that was already out of the gourd flared up in front of him to stop the oncoming attacks, which they did.

From his left, water and lightning raced towards him with clear intent to harm him.

More sand from his gourd billowed out, creating another wall at his side. He frowned once he felt some of his sand dampen from the impact and leave his control, but it was of little consequence. There was plenty more sand to use.

Naruto nodded in appreciation of the show of everybody trying to kill that guy, "That sand is really something special..." With that said, the jinchuuriki fished out a Uzumaki tag from his supply pouch, brandished his bone rifle, and produced a longer than usual bullet from his fingertip. Wrapping the paper around the bullet and lacing the whole thing with chakra for good measure, he took aim, sliding the bullet into the barrel, "After I shoot this, you might wanna find a different tree."

Fuu snorted, not giving any indicators that she noticed the multiple clones descend to the ground. For such a flashy, abrasive kind of guy, Naruto could be pretty slick and devious when the situation called for it, "It's going to give away your position, isn't it?"

He didn't shoot yet, waiting for someone else to lob another jutsu so that the defensive sand was preoccupied with withstanding the first impact, "Yuuuuup." He confirmed with a pop of the lips.

Fuu nodded and leaned backwards to fall off of the tree, leaving Naruto there by himself. After what seemed like an eternity, someone finally sent another attack at Gaara, who was still standing there accepting all challenges. A couple of balls of lava all impacted off of his shield, actually being hot enough to turn some of the sand into glass.

There was his window of opportunity.

CRACK!

For the longest, Gaara felt disgust and disappointment. None of these attacks came close to harming him, which meant that there were nothing but weaklings trying to kill him.

Then, the lava came and actually weakened his sand, turning it into glass. He was concerned for a second, but then he grunted and reinforced it with more sand.

Between the seconds it took for the sand wall to be reinforced, a lone projectile actually _pierced_ through the shield. If it weren't for the second wave of sand switching from going to back up the first wall to protecting Gaara's head, his brains would be painting the wreckage by now, "Something actua-."

Then the explosion came, and for the first time in a while, Gaara experienced pain.

Everyone there stared with wide eyes as the explosion caused a large plume of snow to shoot up in the air. Those closest to the ground and the wreckage actually felt the shock wave from the explosion from their position.

Other than the ambience of the night and the fires burning, silence reigned for several seconds after that massive explosion. Some took the time to wait it out before they acted. Some looked to the left, trying to determine where the loud crack noise came from.

Some were emboldened by the fact that the redhead was taken out, and saw that as their opportunity to charge while the snow provided somewhat of a cover.

While a gang of identical blonds rushed the wreckage from the left, several other teams from the right sprinted to it as well, all trying to get a piece of the pie that they were tasked with getting.

Too bad nobody had the foresight to know that this was a terrible idea.

More jutsu flew from the trees to stop some of the advancing teams and Naruto clones, several actually finding their mark. Within seconds, chaos waltzed back onto the battlefield and fucked everything up once again. Bodies were sent flying, a lot of screaming and loud noises took place, and the snow began to kick up even more due to all of the movement.

Yeah, this was a real chaotic scene. What was even crazier to Temari was the fact that at least five teams just stepped out to get massacred. Not massacred by the long-ranged jutsu, but by someone far more dangerous.

Kankuro felt sweat drip from his forehead despite the freezing cold that they were in, "Those idiots, they're going to die."

A bloodcurdling scream tinged with a hint of mental instability and a dab of homicide caught everyone's attention. Almost as if it were serving to let everyone know just how badly shit just got, the snow floating around settled, letting everyone clearly see Gaara standing next to a flaming part of the destroyed train.

Who was clutching his head.

Who was covered in blood.

Who was smiling extra hard.

Who had cracked skin.

Cracked skin was somewhat accurate, yet the sand in the surrounding area came to life and enveloped Gaara. For a second, nobody moved as they stared down the boy who took all of their jutsu without backing down.

Then a Taki genin snorted, conjured up a water sword, and leapt towards Gaara, aiming to stab him directly in the forehead, "Not so tough now, are you?!"

The gourd on Gaara's back dispersed and became a large mass of sand, which traveled in front of the jinchuuriki to grab the idiot by the head and legs.

Snap.

"Heheheh... there is one here. One who is strong enough." Gaara growled with a wide smile as the sand discarded the snapped in half genin, tossing him to the side, "One who can validate my existence." A water jutsu flew towards him, yet the sand stopped it, and turned into several spikes and impaled the attacker before she could dodge, pinning her corpse to the ground, "But all of you weaklings stand in my way."

Below everyone there, the ground shifted as though it were alive. Some of the more intelligent genin such as Kurotsuchi's team put two and two together and hauled ass from ground zero, while others weren't so bright and stood there.

"That's it. They're fucked. It's game over for those poor fools."

When the sand rose from underneath the snow with renewed vigor, feelings of dread ran through the minds of several people. Those who decided that now was the time to run found it too late due to the sand stabbing them all through the legs.

With his prey crippled, Gaara's grin somehow grew even wider as he lifted his free hand, "Mother wants blood. Who am I to deny her request?" The sand from the ground swallowed all of the genin, leaving only their heads available to see. Soon after, the future coffins of sand levitated into the air.

"Should we try to save them? That guy is a monster!" Kiba asked his teammates as they stayed hidden in a tree. The spectacle that was in front of them was honestly one of the most traumatizing things they'd ever witnessed.

Shino grunted. As logical as he was, there was a twang of empathy twisting his stomach about. Competitors or not, those down there were still human beings, children and teenagers like himself.

But unfortunately, his hive was screaming within him, telling him to get away.

It's a monster, they say.

It's too powerful, they say.

Run, because we're probably next, they say.

"Grrrr, fuck it! I'm going to go help them!"

Surprisingly it wasn't Shino who stopped Kiba, nor was it Akamaru. Hinata held Kiba by the back of his neck with one hand while the other had fingers pointed at his legs, probably to prevent him from running to his death.

"Kiba-kun." The Hyuuga shook her head with sadness, "They were dead the minute they ran out there. Don't add to their numbers." The situation was so messed up that her stuttering problem wasn't even present.

She saw what the others didn't see due to her Byakugan. She saw the boy's chakra spike to dramatic levels once he picked himself up. She saw all of the sand that he used for defense go under the snow in preparation to catch everyone.

All of the levitating coffins of sand slammed back down into the ground harshly, burying the poor genin. Even more sand came from Gaara's gourd, covering the ground with an extra layer, "You weaklings should have stayed away." He clapped his hands together, then slammed them against the ground.

"Sabaku Taisō (Sand Waterfall Imperial Funeral)!"

X.X.X.

(With the proctors)

"Um. Excuse me, I thought I heard the wrong thing." Anko snorted while stirring her tea around. Inside of a moderately comfortable looking room were all of the proctors and sensei, as well as the Kage and Doto. Several, such as the Kage, were seated in nice red lounge chairs, while others stood and enjoyed light food and beverages.

"He's right." A Yuki kunoichi nodded to back up her colleague, nervously looking at Doto, "One of those genin completely totaled that train. Brought it off the tracks and all."

While Doto didn't show it outwardly, on the inside he was completely furious and also nervous. Anybody who lived in the elemental nations knew that the main five villages held some of the strongest shinobi and kunoichi.

Buuuut, these were usually jonin-level ninja that were known.

When he designed the second portion of the exam, he designed the train specifically to not be destroyed by ninjutsu. It had chakra suppressing seals made by Jiraiya of the Sannin for fuck's sake! So how in the hell did _one_ genin manage to turn that whole thing on its head?!

"I have a question, my dear." He crossed his legs and intertwined his fingers while staring dead at the kunoichi, "That train was covered from top to bottom, front and back with chakra suppressing seals. So do tell. What genin took that train and wrecked it, and how?"

The kunoichi gulped nervously. Not only was her boss asking her a question, but everyone in the room was observing her every move now. Five of the most powerful ninja on the planet, plus several of their best jonin, all leveling their intent on her.

She couldn't back down though, so she cleared her throat and began to speak, "From what I saw while flying in the distance, it was a genin in all black with spiky, blond hair." The Third Hokage's eyes rolled into the back of his head in exasperation, but she kept going, "The genin made multiple copies of himself, rushed ahead of the train while the other genin fought in the snow, and summoned multiple hands of bone which knocked the train off the rails."

"Hands of bone, eh?" A short man with a bulbous nose and a long goatee mused, "I didn't know the Kaguya clan was still alive and kicking." He looked to the Mizukage, a beautiful woman with long, auburn hair, "Mei-san, you've been holding out on us." He chuckled.

Mei's eyes narrowed. There was no Kaguya under her employ. Which meant that another village somehow got their hands on the coveted bloodline. As concerning as this was, now was not the time to let everyone know. If word got out that another village had a Kiri-only kekkei genkai, tensions and accusations would surely arise.

So for now, she had to play it cool. The truth would come out eventually, but for now she could just not answer the Tsuchikage's hidden question. Instead she just smiled and continued to sip her tea.

Hiruzen spared her the quickest of glances, which she picked up on. The two nodded slightly to acknowledge that discussion definitely had to take place about this at a later time.

Leaning back in his chair, A snorted, "Those Kaguya sure were an annoying bunch. That kekkei genkai made them damn near unstoppable up close." He eyed each of the Kage with suspicion, "And now there's another one using jutsu that even isn't heard of. Since when do Kaguyas do anything other than try to stab you?"

"Right boss. Skeletal hands? Shadow clones?" A's right hand man, Dauri, whistled as he scratched the back of his neck, "Whoever that is, that kid is going to be a monster if he gets older."

X.X.X.

(With said future monster)

Cupping his hand on his chin, Naruto willed a few more clones into existence with no smoke. Stabby appeared beside the original, crouching down while looking out at the newly created mass grave, "That Gaara guy is not a joke." He turned to the original with excitement in his eyes, Can I stab him?"

"No." Naruto flatly stated with a shake of the head, "I'm about to do one of the most dumbest things I've ever done, and I need you to stay alive. Your job is to run and grab the scrolls once Gaara leaves."

One of the clones above the rest stuck to the tree with chakra, looking down at Naruto, "Okay, that sounds like a good plan. But how is that guy going to move from his spot? He doesn't seem like a very mobile fighter."

"Simple." The original jabbed a thumb into his chest, confident in his plan, "Gaara wants my head, so I'm gonna go down there, get his attention, and haul ass. If I know crazy like I know crazy, he'll definitely follow me to kill me." With that said, he clapped his hands and smiled, "Ready? Ready. Okay guys, let's go!"

To Gaara's right, he saw pairs of glowing blue eyes getting closer and closer to him. Good, that's exactly who he wanted to kill, "You! You're the one who will validate my existence!" He threw his arms up, willing all of the sand on the ground to rise and form a massive cloud of blood soaked death, "Mother will be pleased!"

" **You bet your sweet mippy I will, now kill the little fucker!"**

Despite the mass of bloody sand, Naruto continued forward, "I don't know your name, but I'm gonna kill you!"

Only three meters separated the two jinchuuriki. Onlookers, both genin and people who weren't supposed to be there, watched in anticipation as they awaited the fate of the idiot who charged down the redhead who killed five teams at once.

"... Another time, 'cause right now I'm gonna haul ass in the other direction! Bye bye, now!" With surprising speed and chakra boosting his movement, Naruto completed a slick one-eighty turn and ran towards the woods, noticing the other people hiding amongst the trees and snow, "Sand guy if you want me, you'll have to go through them!"

"Fuck that, he's bringing him over here!"

"Somebody stop him!"

"Damn it, dobe!"

Unlike Gaara, Naruto didn't have an automatic defense that could turn into an offense at a moment's notice. Well, he did. But trying to use his bones to stop those incoming fireballs, lightning bolts, water bullets, and lava balls, as well as the various ninja tools being sent his way wasn't a safe bet right now.

Luckily, clones always came in handy. A poof of smoke later, and ten clones ran towards the forest while dodging projectiles. Unknown to everyone there though, the real Naruto was underground. Far be it for him to run headfirst into an onslaught like that. He might have been crazy and slightly unstable, and just a little stupid, but he wasn't big stupid.

He was Naruto Uzumaki, a man with a plan. A real go getter, a future legend in the making.

'Let's see if my plan worked out. Out of the ten I sent forward, only three died... sand boy should still be chasing after them.'

 **"The fact that you couldn't just flat-out kill him just now proves that you're still a weakling."** The Kyuubi's deep voice taunted, one eye glancing in the direction that he felt his sibling go. If biju chakra didn't naturally circulate through the clones too, Shukaku would definitely be able to get his container to turn around and come back for Naruto.

Such a lucky brat.

'I'm ignoring you. Kami, it smells like straight dirt down here.'

 **"It smells like dirt underground."** The Kyuubi deadpanned, **"What an astute observation."**

"Still ignored." Naruto grunted as he popped his head back out, looking directly at the still burning wreckage, "Hmm, let's see. No sand, check. No murderous blood lust, check. A lot of dead bodies that don't belong to anybody important, check." He pulled himself completely out, shaking dirt and snow off of him, "Well then. Mission accomplished."

"You thought that was hilarious, didn't you?" Fuu chuckled as she descended from the sky, her wings receding into her back once she landed, "If only you saw just how quick everybody took off once that sand cloud flew straight for the trees. Man, that guy is a real threat."

Looking behind him back at the treeline, Naruto scanned for any potential danger. Once he confirmed that there wasn't going to be anymore surprise jutsu thrown at him, he walked to where he saw Gaara pick up some scrolls earlier, Fuu following him, "Even when I do extremely out in left field stuff, it always works out. Fuck, I'm awesome." The blond beamed upon seeing the collection of various scrolls still deposited in the snow.

Fuu smiled brightly before looking at Naruto with a healthy amount of suspicion, taking a battle stance, "So is this the part where we fight to the death over the scrolls?"

Naruto snorted, "Nah, I'm going to get my four, you get your three, and that's that." He began sifting through the pile, smirking once he collected his four. In a grand total of fifteen to twenty minutes, he flipped the script on everyone, derailed a chakra draining/suppressing train, pissed off a lot of people, and came out on top with all four scrolls his team needed.

Hot damn, Naruto Uzumaki is the man.

"Really? No round two?" Fuu visibly deflated and whined as she got out of her stance, "That's anticlimactic, don't you think?"

He shrugged in response, then he looked around as if he remembered something, "Oh yeah, I forgot I had Stabby doing this!" Naruto frowned and narrowed his eyes, summoning yet another clone, "Stabby, get your homicidal ass to the wreckage, pronto." After his order was given, Naruto made the clone dispel so that Stabby could get the message.

With her scrolls collected and sealed for protection, Fuu glanced at the blond, "Well, now what?" Naruto's stomach let out a guttural growl, prompting Fuu to deadpan, "You're hungry, I see."

Hey, a man of action needed fuel to keep his motor running. What did she think this awesome train ran on, oxygen? Pfft, "According to my stomach, you're right. Wanna go hunting for food with me?"

Really?

... Aww what the hell, why not?

X.X.X.

(With Team Gai)

From a good distance away from all of that mayhem that just occurred, Team Gai stood in a tree, with Neji scowling. So Uzumaki was a bit more powerful than expected...

"Honestly," Tenten began as she checked her weapons, "I don't know who's more avoidable at this point. You got that redhead boy, and then there's Naruto. Both changed up the landscape over there in mere seconds."

Once again, Lee was being strangely quiet for a couple more moments before his usual loudness came back, "If I had to pick, I'd say Gaara. But on the other hand, I wouldn't avoid neither of them!" Flashing his teammates a confident smile and a thumbs up, Lee struck a nice guy pose, "I'd love to fight both of them! It will surely provide a challenge that I could overcome!"

Shaking her head at Lee's antics, Tenten chuckled while dealing her weapons away, "Well, that'll have to wait Lee. We got what we need so there's no need to go after anyone."

"She's right." Neji nodded gruffly, activating his Byakugan, looking around for any potential threats. So far none have approached, although there were two teams at a distance to their right, "Our main priority now is to survive. Now, we can rest. Once we all get up, we can go towards the building we came from and set up a camp over there."

With everyone agreeing with the plan, Tenten and Lee took their turns to rest while Neji jumped to a higher branch to keep a vigilant eye out.

The Hyuuga prodigy crossed his arms as he leaned against the tree trunk, staring the two teams down. For some reason, he really wanted to fight. Call it puberty, call it testosterone, call it whatever, but something deep within Neji was stirring, making him really want to get out there and test his mettle against a skilled opponent.

Their victory over the Kumo team was to be expected, but it wasn't satisfying enough. Honestly, he preferred a confrontation where it was just him at stake. No worrying about keeping Tenten safe, no worrying about him having to keep Lee from getting caught in a genjutsu.

Just him against a decent challenge. For practicality's sake earlier, their opening move of holding down the train was an excellent maneuver. It allowed them to collect the required amount of scrolls with little to no hassle.

But, it just wasn't enough for the prodigy.

As much as he enjoyed ignoring Lee's spirited declarations of wanting to fight just about everybody head on, he had to give him credit. They both shared the same sentiments, it was just that Lee was more vocal about it than he was.

If only... oh? One of the teams seemed to be moving their way. Who was he to not take a preemptive strike and gauge the competition? With smooth grace befitting a prodigy such as himself, Neji travelled towards them from above.

Nishi grumbled to herself as her and her teammates darted through the snow, "Stupid brat with his chains..." Having a chain get wrapped tightly around your neck was one thing.

Getting yanked backwards by it while you were going the opposite direction and not expecting it was another.

Akatsuchi spared his shorter teammate a glance, snorting, "He did a number on you with that one." The glare he received in return was enough to make him stop talking to her. Sheesh, those red eyes did wonders for intimidation.

"Don't worry Nishi," Kurotsuchi assured, bringing the trio to a stop in a clearing, "We'll get that bastard soon enough." Punching her fist into her palm with a scowl, she looked around for a moment before speaking, "Right now, we gotta get more scrolls." Despite that horrible train crash and chaos that followed, Akatsuchi was able to snag one that laid in the snow before getting out of dodge.

Taking the moment to stretch and crouch, Nishi looked at her friend, "So what do you wanna do? I say we go back and check the wreck. There's no way they could all be gone since that Suna guy was burying everyone." The kunoichi shivered. That guy had some serious firepower with the sand defending and attacking simultaneously.

From above, Neji observed their conversation, taking note of their positioning and chakra levels. So far it seemed that the girl without the dreads had the most chakra, while the dreaded one had the most potent. Come to think of it, both of them had pretty potent chakra.

The fat one was probably their powerhouse, a real brute. Hmmph, now how could he turn this situation in his favor? What did he want to gain out of this? They already had three scrolls.

Getting to them was no issue. All he had to do was throw a smoke bomb to cause confusion, take a play out of Tenten's book and corral one of them right where he wanted them with kunai and shuriken, then threaten their life with his taijutsu and create a hostage situation.

Sounded easy enough.

But where was his exit plan? Sure, he could cripple one of them. Less competition in the long run and all... that sounded like a pretty good idea now that he thought about it. They weren't even Konoha shinobi, in fact, they were Iwa shinobi.

Very well, it was settled. Once he got the required smoke bomb, he threw it towards the fat one and the pale one, due to their closeness in proximity. With them so close together, they'd probably leap away together while the one with the dreads would be alone once she retreated.

"Aw shit, scatter!" He heard one of the girls scream once the cloud began to thicken. Darting down from his position, he aimed straight for the darker one. Like he predicted, she was farther away from the two.

Good.

Wait no, she was building up chakra in the sole of her foot. Not good.

Nishi lifted her left leg straight into the air with surprising flexibility, turning around in a circle while looking up to scan for any target. Some guy with white eyes was coming straight for her. Ugh, that Konoha headband.

At least she wouldn't feel bad about this.

A green blur sped through the air and tackled Neji out of the sky, causing Nishi to frown and lower her leg. She still kept the chakra built up as she chased the two down, but her pursuit was halted once a kunai with am explosive tag was thrown her way.

"Shit, you guys are annoying!" She cursed, darting away with impressive speed at the last second. With the explosion throwing up a puff of smoke to lower visibility, she rushed right through it, building up even more chakra in her feet.

"Thank you for your assistance, Lee." Neji said with a nod of the head, frowning once he saw her come back through the snow, "Double team her like we're going to do Naruto?"

Lee nodded, zig-zagging through the snow in an effort to find a good angle to hit her. He heard Neji shout to avoid her feet, and tucked that in the back of his mind.

"You're faster than me... I want the pretty boy!" Instead of continuing to meet Lee head on, Nishi stopped on a dime, assumed a horse stance, and jumped up and stomped her feet back into the ground, "Bakuton: Kōhaishita kōhai (Explosion Release: Rugged Devastation)!"

From under her feet, an explosion erupted and demolished the ground, upheaving chunks of earth and knocking down trees for a good ten meter radius. Lee was thrown off once his footing was compromised, and almost slipped.

The momentary stumble hurt him in the long run though. A chunk of ground the size of a table flew directly into his chest, knocking his breath completely out. The taijutsu protege fell onto his back, leaving him as an easy target for Nishi.

Wasting no time, Nishi rushed out of the center of the changed battlefield, skillfully traversing through the mangled ground to completely neutralize Lee. Clearly this wasn't her first time altering the landscape to her advantage. As she finally reached him, she had to stop and dodge due to a kunai being thrown her way.

The kunai gave Neji the perfect amount of time to rush her down, trying to tag her with malicious taijutsu.

Two fingers went for her chest.

She sidestepped gracefully and retaliated with three quick kicks to her opponent's face.

He dodged as though it were mere child's play, taking a step forward and sending a palm strike to her face.

She let it close in at the last second, ducking low and rolling forward into a handspring that helped her get the momentum to mule kick him.

Neji smirked.

A poof of smoke emerged from her feet, disorienting the genius for a split second.

He frowned.

Then he smiled again, because the girl apparently thought that he couldn't see her. Poor thing, didn't remember that the Byakugan was all seeing.

She didn't also remember Lee either.

From her right, Lee charged forward with a kick to her ribs. The satisfying thud let him and Neji know that she was hit. Neji saw her fly away into a tree as the smoke dispersed, the girl growling at getting tagged so easily.

Nishi narrowed her eyes, she was facing a Hyuuga and some speed demon with a mean kick and horrifying eyebrows. Throwing another smoke cloud was useless since the Hyuuga could see her regardless. The other one was fast, while the Hyuuga could easily end her if she wasn't careful.

But then again, so could she.

But damn, either one of them could have the scrolls! So she couldn't blow them to mulch unless she wanted to risk blowing up the scrolls as well.

While Nishi was internally fuming, Neji and Lee spared each other a quick glance and a nod. No words needed to be exchanged. So they rushed her down.

Tenten's unconscious body was thrown in their path.

Immediately recognizing his hurt teammate, Lee switched gears and caught her swiftly. Neji stopped as well, sneering while Nishi smirked victoriously, "She must've drew the short stick."

With no warning, spikes from the earth rose up with clear intent to skewer both Neji and Lee. Both took to the trees at the last second to avoid a grisly fate.

"So you were fighting the real competition while me and Akatsuchi got the one trick pony." Kurotsuchi chuckled as she and Akatsuchi landed beside Nishi. The two looked unharmed, as though the fight with Tenten was a cakewalk.

Kurotsuchi smirked viciously while putting the scroll that held Team Gai's scrolls on display, "You really should've gave the scroll to somebody with more skills than just throwing weapons. 'Cause once elements come into play, she can't do shit!" Gloating and antagonizing. How to piss people off when you had the upper hand, a novel by Kurotsuchi.

Neji gritted his teeth, "You think you're just going to get away with this?"

"We don't wanna sound cliche but," Akatsuchi said with a shrug, "Fact is, you're down a teammate. We have your scrolls. You should just quit while you're ahead, 'cause we've already gotten away with it." Instead of sticking around to go back and forth with Neji, the Iwa trio took off, leaving Team Gai there.

Lee held an uncharacteristic frown on his face while checking Tenten over, "They hurt her. Not badly but her flames are dimmed at the moment."

Those fools. If they truly thought that they wouldn't be repaid for this transgression, then they were surely mistaken, "Lee. Let's find a suitable place to rest and watch over Tenten. We still have two days."

They would be out for blood those following two days.

X.X.X.

(With Team Seven)

 _"Hey Sasuke. Wanna see what your insides look like?"_

 _"Let me smother him with sand first!"_

Honestly, Sasuke was really starting to hate sleeping again. If it wasn't nightmares about his clan's massacre or Itachi coming back to finish him off, it was a nightmare or three about that horrifying chakra that Naruto and that redhead had.

Now don't get him wrong, Sasuke Uchiha feared nothing. He was an Uchiha, fear wasn't in their vocabulary.

But the latent power that jinchuuriki possessed... all of that malice... how else was he supposed to feel about it? The thought of the thing that damn near razed his village to the ground before he was born, resting inside of his friend? It was a surreal concept to say the least.

And then there was that redhead. With his Sharingan, Sasuke saw the horrible chakra within the boy. Such insanity inside him couldn't be good for his mental health.

He should know, he was the poster boy for mental instability.

"Can't sleep, huh? Nightmares?" Sakura asked. She felt him jolt awake.

The Uchiha slid his hand across his face, wiping away any notions of sleep, "Yeah, I need more sleep though." He got up to join Sakura at the cave entrance, which was on the side of a nearby mountain, "Wanna go get some rest while I take over?"

Looking at the dawn approaching on the horizon, Sakura shook her head with a soft smile, "Nah, I get nightmares too."

Sasuke winced, "Ino?"

The smile on her face got sadder, almost coming off as she whispered her response, "Yeah... believe it or not, those aren't even the worst ones."

Sasuke didn't even notice how close they were sitting, "You sure? You were pretty messed up about it, you've drastically changed and all." Even with the drastically added, it still felt like an understatement.

Sakura pulled her knees under her chin, a deep sigh escaping her lips, "Mmhmm. At first the nightmares were replays of that horrible day. Seeing Ino blown up, being covered in my friend's insides, almost getting blown up ourselves. It was just too much." She turned her head to look at Sasuke, placing a hand on his back.

He didn't shy away from her touch.

"But then," She continued, tears threatening to slip out, "I began seeing dreams of us dying. Choji getting blown up, you getting killed, Kakashi-sensei, Tayuya, Naruto, Shikamaru, all of us. What if we just suddenly get killed like that?" Her grip tightened on Sasuke's shirt, "What if that was one of us getting buried by Gaara? I don't want to lose any of you!"

Unsure of what to say now that tears were flowing freely, Sasuke just sat there for a couple of seconds. Eventually Sakura began to speak again, "When Ino died in front of my eyes, that was a wake up call, ya know?" She sniffled, "Being a ninja, between me and her, was always about being the best kunoichi. Who was the better fighter, who looked prettier with their headband on? Childish shit like that."

"Hell, it was even a competition to get your attention. We wanted to be the best to walk alongside the best." With that said, she threw her head back in bitter laughter, "Now I'm closer to you than any other girl could dream of, and all it costed was my best friend. Ugh, what a deal."

He didn't know why he took offense to that for some reason, but he did. But this wasn't the time for his opinions right now, his teammate was showing a vulnerable state that none of them have seen for a while.

"I finally got what I wanted... right when I could care less about having it. Talk about irony." She chuckled, noticing Sasuke look at her strangely. Continuing to let her emotions out, she filed away his facial expression for later, "Having your admiration, your acknowledgement was such a big deal for us. But now, all I want to do is improve. I want to get better to avoid being dead weight on the team, I want to get better for my own happiness, but most of all," Sakura leaned in towards Sasuke's face, smiling brightly, "I want to get better so that I can protect you, and everyone else important to me."

... Why did he feel his eyes water? Ew, all of these weird emotions lately was really getting on his nerves. Better circulate some fire chakra through his eyes to get rid of the tears before they completely came out.

Mushy or not though, he had to admit, Sakura's words did move him. When he looked her in the eyes while she talked, he could see the drive, the passion. Her words were dripping with conviction, and she sold it so convincingly that he believed her too.

"Sakura..." He started, clear nervousness present on his face. Damn it, emotional moments were not his thing! Why did she have to be so much more difficult to dismiss, "... I'm proud of you. A-and I'm goi-."

Sakura's eyes widened in disbelief, "Hold on one second." Pinching under her left arm hard enough to leave a mark, the Haruno looked around, then back at Sasuke, "I was just checking to make sure that I wasn't under a genjutsu, 'cause I'm still not used to you looking nervous. Carry on!"

Dryly looking at her, Sasuke snorted, "Anyways, I'm going to get stronger too. For all of our sakes. I'll be damned if I let anything happen to any of you."

Smiling warmly, Sakura leaned to lay on Sasuke's shoulder. He didn't push her away or anything, which made her sigh happily as she watched the sun come up. Maybe she and Sasuke could get even closer one day.

For now, she was comfortable with how things were going though, so she closed her eyes to try to drift away to sleep.

But there was something that she wanted to ask though, "Sasuke?"

His eyes were already closed with the amount of comfort he was in, but he cracked one open to look down at the pink head on his shoulder, "Yeah Sakura?"

"... Why were your eyes steaming?"

Fuck, he didn't think she'd notice!

"Aww, I made the big bad Uchiha tear up. If only Ino were alive to hear about this." She snickered, wrapping her arms around Sasuke so that he couldn't push her away, "Don't worry tough guy, your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone."

"... Especially Naruto?"

"Especially Naruto." She nodded reassuringly, finally going to sleep.

X.X.X.

(Later on that day, with Deidara and Konan)

"So, think we should try to find a spot and keep Pain updated?"

Sitting cross-legged on one of Deidara's clay birds, Konan looked down at the ground. Even from their altitude, the sight of the train wreck was easy to see. A majority of the fires went out, due to some of the teams coming back to the area for the scrolls and trying to kill each other, "I think we should."

Mentally commanding his bird to fly to the nearest mountain summit, Deidara smiled. Finally, more personalities other than the stone-cold persona known as Konan. Dare he say it, he actually missed the others.

Hopefully Hidan would make a fool out of himself yet again. Entertainment was definitely needed.

Once the bird landed at their destination, the duo took up positions to sit down and meditate. For several seconds, the only thing heard was the roar of the wind.

Next thing you know, the scenery changed. Nine holograms all stood on massive fingers in a dark cave.

"After two months, they finally check back with us." Kisame chuckled, "So how are the brats?"

Deidara shot Konan a mean glare before he spoke, grunting, "There's a couple of interesting kids. There's two from Iwa that I've seen with lava kekkei genkai and explosion kekkei genkai."

"Ugh, another rock head with an explosion fetish. I swear to Jashin, al-."

Pain wasn't one for interruptions, especially when he was hearing something that interested him. So of course the leader of the group had to make his displeasure known with a good amount of killing intent sent Hidan's way, "Hidan. Silence yourself."

Once the nut received the message to shut up, Deidara continued, "Then there's the jinchuuriki. The Ichibi's container is a straight killer, but that was to be expected. The Nanabi's, quick, agile, yet somewhat durable. Saw her knock down a tree with her body, she just laughed and kept flying."

Pain nodded, looking to his side for any other observations.

"There's also a genin with the Kaguya bloodline. He definitely has potential to be a threat in the near future." Konan added on, her eyes narrowing in thought.

All eyes were on Kisame, which was understandable. Kaguya were a Kiri-based clan, and Kisame was a missing nin from Kiri.

"Interesting... think I'll be able to go hunt him down one day?" Kisame mused with a dark chuckle, cupping his chin in contemplation.

Kakazu snorted, "That's if his bounty isn't worth the effort for me."

Deidara snorted as well, "He's not the average Kaguya, I can tell you that much. The second stage of the exams had the genin rushing to a train covered in anti-chakra seals. Made it pretty much impossible to damage the train or use ninjutsu while inside it. But this Kaguya right here, sent shadow clones ahead of the train while it was a massive brawl going on, and summoned giant skeleton hands to take the thing directly off of the tracks and wreck it."

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, "That one might have a good bounty after the exams." He saw everyone looking at him and shrugged, "My money senses are tingling, don't question me."

"We're talking about a child, and you start talking about how some of your weird-ass senses are tingling. You sound like a fucking pedophile!" Hidan blurted out with laughter. His laughter and joke had to be contagious, because Kisame began to chuckle too.

"I think they'd put you on a list for something like that, Kakuzu." Kisame added, his sharp teeth showing, "Better not let him near any academies anytime soon."

Kakazu's right eye was twitching in annoyance. These fools would be the ones to ignore the potential of money all for a crude joke. Idiots, "I'm collecting all of your hearts one day. Hidan, I'm taking your head off again. Just you wait."

"Oi, fuck you! Not my fault you wanna be like that fucking creepy Orochimaru!"

At times like this, when a group of S-ranked shinobi all got together and got off track in record time, Pain wondered just how his plans were going to come to fruition while relying on these idiots.

It was too noisy. Too much idle chat and banter, not enough productivity.

"All of you, be silent."

The cavern became so quiet you could hear someone blink.

Just how Pain liked it.

"Now then," The Rinnengan user spared both Deidara and Konan glances, "Keep up the surveillance. Make sure to gather as much information on the jinchuuriki as possible. The more we know about them, the easier it will be to capture them."

The two nodded before their holograms disappeared, leaving the rest of the members with Pain, "The rest of you, continue as you were. Do not bring attention to our organization just yet." The intent within the cave was enough to get the message across. With the exception of Pain and Zetsu's hologram, everyone else's disappeared.

"Zetsu, isn't there supposed to be five jinchuuriki in Yuki?" Pain asked the plant man.

The deep voice of the black half answered, **"The Kaguya is the fifth one. He holds the Kyuubi. We saw him fighting the Nanabi's jinchuuriki. When she dropped him headfirst into the ground and he got back up, his eyes were red and slitted."**

A jinchuuriki Kaguya? Dangerous, "The Kaguya are a Mizu-based people. Are you telling me that Kiri has gotten a hold on the Kyuubi?"

"Oh wait, no!" The white half corrected, "This is a Konoha kid, the insignia is on his sleeve and everything!" If the white Zetsu knew nothing else, he knew one thing.

That kid pulled off all black nicely.

Pain's eyes widened momentarily. This was interesting news to say the least. As interesting as it was, he still needed to think this through. Kaguya who inherited that kekkei genkai were threats, period.

Taijutsu against a seasoned Kaguya? You might as well stab yourself several times and call it a night. But adding a biju's power to that? It was concerning.

Who in Akatsuki, other than himself, could handle that boy with relative ease? Usually Kisame would be an ideal pick due to his impressive reserves and chakra draining abilities, but there was still the concept of this jinchuuriki using unheard of Kaguya techniques. Sucking the chakra out of the bones was fine and dandy, but there was still the pressing issue of the bone.

Itachi would probably be able to genjutsu him into submission but... wait. Could it be possible that the Kyuubi could negate genjutsu altogether? Whenever the target fell under the effects, all the biju had to do is just disrupt the flow of chakra from within.

As skilled as they were, Itachi and Kisame weren't the ones that should be sent at the moment.

Close range wasn't the answer. Which meant...

"Zetsu. Tell Deidara that I may need him to be prepared to go after the Kyuubi jinchuuriki early. Best to stop him now before he becomes stronger and more of an issue."

X.X.X.

(With Kabuto)

Things have definitely been interesting these exams.

All of the potential, it was staggering. The last Uchiha seemed to be shaping up to his namesake. His Akimichi teammate, with more polishing, could definitely become a threat in the near future.

The other villages, the jinchuuriki... all of them were such interesting people to watch.

"So Kabuto-kun," Orochimaru began as he appeared beside him. The Sannin held a casual smirk on his face as he crossed his arms and looked to the mountains. So Akatsuki were lurking about as well. Amusing, "Any interesting news?"

Kabuto adjusted his glasses, "There's a lot more bodies. The Uchiha is interesting though. Has the Sharingan and all."

Something shined in Orochimaru's eyes once he heard of the Uchiha, "What's his name? I may have to check on him personally." As per his usual modus operandi, Orochimaru licked his lips in excitement at the potential of gaining the Sharingan.

"From what I gathered, his name is Sasuke."

"Sasuke Uchiha... I do hope that Itachi wouldn't mind if I pay him back while using his brother's body... but then again I have enough on my plate as it is. For now, I'll see how the boy reacts to the cursed marks." He turned to Kabuto, "Description?"

"Black hair, black jacket, white cargo pants. Teammates include a Akimichi with a surprising style of fighting and a pink-haired girl who seems to have an aptitude for genjutsu." Kabuto didn't even pay attention to his master chuckling in anticipation and disappearing. He just resumed his thoughts.

It's a good thing that he and Naruto haven't crossed paths. Without a doubt, his cover would be blown and the plans would be thrown into disarray. That definitely wasn't the same Naruto who was only effective if you let him get close. He was really shaping up to be a close to mid-range terror.

Kabuto had to chuckle as he wondered how Kimimaro would feel about all of these new jutsu he saw Naruto doing. Probably would call Naruto trash, even after all of the improvement, just because it wasn't the traditional techniques Kimimaro tried to teach him. Hopefully he'd be there to witness their reunion.

From behind, he heard complaints from a male voice, obviously in pain. Maybe he had a chance to alleviate some of his boredom.

The sand around Kankuro's body tightened as he continued to bitch and moan about his leg. Seriously, any types of deals made with Gaara were never completely good ideas to begin with.

You either ended up death because you couldn't hang with the stipulations or you wounded up in pain because Gaara and tender care were like fire being wet and water being dry.

Plus, the more pain you were in, the more discomfort you probably showed. The more discomfort you showed, the more you got on his nerves. The more you got on his nerves, the quicker you die.

Really, it was a slippery slope of a situation. Lose lose type of deal.

"Do remember what I said yesterday weakling, I won't tolerate your whining for much longer." Gaara growled as he glared at his older brother, who was visibly grimacing due to the sandy pressure being exerted on his body.

"Gaara," Temari began slowly, yet softly so she didn't set her homicidal brother off even further, "Maybe if you stop squeezing him with the sand, he wouldn't whine as much."

Gaara craned his neck to stare at her with an expression drier than their homeland, "He should understand that the squeezing is a mere taste of things to come if he doesn't be quiet." More sand flared around him as he crossed his arms, "Would you like to join him?"

Despite the tempting offer, Temari rolled her eyes in exasperation, "For the umpteenth time, no Gaara. You shouldn't be trying to kill him anyway. Remember, exams? Trying to pass so you can kill the blond kid?" She tapped her temple with a knowing grin, "You can't kill that kid if you kill this kid out of irritation."

"I'm not a kid, I'm a grown man." Kankuro wheezed out.

"Quiet you. I'm trying to keep you alive here."

"Um, hey there!" From above, the Suna siblings registered the sound of Kabuto waving at them. Gaara's eyes narrowed as the bespectacled lad hopped down to the snow below, landing a safe, reactionary distance away from Gaara.

Smart move.

"Before you try to kill me, I come in peace! Okay?" Kabuto declared with an easygoing smile and placating hand gestures, "I couldn't help but notice that he's injured. I'm a medic, so I'm offering to heal him up enough to at least survive out here. Cold like this and injuries don't mix well, you know?"

Temari frowned. This sounded too good to be true, "Right, like we'd just let you pretend to be a medic and come and "heal" him." She snorted in disdain, "You think we're stupid or something?"

"No! Of course not!" He didn't try to get closer, but he kept up his disarming aura, "I'm just trying to offer help... do you need to see my medical skills?" The medic's hands glowed green, a telltale sign of a medical jutsu being used.

"I'm all for it, come heal me!" Kankuro exclaimed at the wonderful sight of the glowing hands. He'd take that risk of getting even more fucked up, no questions asked. This pain was too much.

"Nobody does anything like this out of the kindness of their own heart. What's your angle?" Temari asked with skepticism just oozing from her words. She'd be damned if she let just anybody come and harm her brother anymore than what he already was.

Kabuto just shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck with the same easygoing smile from earlier, "I have no angle. I'm just a medic who doesn't like seeing others completely hurt, especially if I can do something about it."

Temari crossed her arms, "Well, why aren't you with your team being a medic for them? Are you trying to heal in exchange for a scroll or something?"

"Yeah... my team's dead." He lied with no hesitation. They were really out and about gathering more data, but these three didn't need to know that, "So with two dead teammates, there's really no point in going for scrolls. Like I said before, I'm just trying to help." He tilted his head in Gaara's direction, "I'll even let him stand right beside me while I heal him. Surround me with sand so I can't run in case you suspect any foul play."

Staring blankly for several seconds, Gaara nodded, "We will take him up on his offer."

"Gaara you're my favorite little brother in the whole wide world!" Kankuro exclaimed in victory.

Temari turned to her brother in disbelief, "Gaara, are you out of your mind?!" The answer was obviously yes, both literally and figuratively, but it was still crazy just seeing him go along with it.

"If he gets healed, he'll stop whining." Gaara explained simply. And that was that. The sand in Gaara's gourd slithered out and surrounded Kankuro, clearly ready to murder him in a callous fashion should he renege on his side of the bargain, "Make sure that he can't scream anymore. It's very annoying."

Once the sand deposited Kankuro in the snow, Kabuto got to work. He looked at the hole in Kankuro's leg, wincing at how clean the puncture wound was, "Sheesh," He whistled while producing medical tools from his back pouch to clean up the wound, "What could've done this?"

Kankuro growled, "Some little blond asshole who wears all black did this." He was too mad to compliment his fashion choices, so he settled for making threats on his life, "I'll kill him soon enough."

A spike of intent caught everyone's attention. Gaara clearly had something to say about that statement, "Correction, _I_ will kill him."

"Correction, my little brother will kill him while I stand a safe distance away and look on with pride and happiness." Kankuro quickly corrected himself.

Temari deadpanned. That blond kid really gave these two tunnel vision. It had to be a serious case of it too since Kankuro kept forgetting that he was clearly too injured to even travel by his on merits.

Something shined in Kankuro's eyes. This was definitely something to take note of. Time to fish for more information, "Blond in black you say? That guy who took the train off the tracks?" Kankuro faked his ignorance as he looked at the three in surprise. If there was an award for ninja acting, Kankuro would have a closet full of them, "Wow, he's that good to just put a hole in your leg and get away?"

"Watch it." Kankuro glared at Kabuto, mainly because he was bringing up a sensitive topic, "He shot me with some bone projectile thing from a good distance away. I'm lucky though, 'cause he shit someone else in the head and the left side of that guy's head is blown completely out."

Oh, this was definitely good intel. Orochimaru would be pleased to hear how well his little pet project is growing...

X.X.X.

(Later that night, with Deidara and Konan)

"Deidara! Pain has a message for you!" The happy-go-lucky voice of White Zetsu cooed as he emerged from a nearby tree. If the startled expression from Deidara was any indicator, he probably scared him.

"Quit sneaking up on me like that, un! Now what do you want?"

 **"According to leader, we might be capturing the jinchuuriki earlier than expected. In your case, you're to go after the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki."** Black Zetsu informed.

Well, wasn't that a surprise? And if they were telling him that now out of all times, that must've meant that the target was participating in the exams, "Sounds like fun. But who is the kid?"

White Zetsu smiled, "The one who took the train off the tracks! You can't get him just yet, but be prepared to move probably after the exams are over!" With that said, the plant-like member of Akatsuki went back into the ground, leaving Deidara alone with his thoughts for now.

So he got the Kyuubi, eh? Honestly, it sounded pretty fun. He just needed more knowledge on his prey first...

X.X.X.

(Omake: Bad to the Bone)

Logan sniffed the air. The mansion, which was usually full of mutants, was surprisingly empty. No trace of anybody.

This definitely smelled fishy.

A otherworldly portal opened in his room, prompting him to brandish his trademark claws from his knuckles, "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but something's gotta give."

To his surprise, a blond, spiky-haired kid in all black was thrown out of the portal and straight through his wall. He peered through the hole to observe the boy, wondering just what the hell was going on. Hopping through, he kept himself ready to defend in case anything happened, "Alright kid, I need answers." He grunted to a clearly disoriented Naruto.

Naruto never felt like that before. Shit, he didn't even know what was going on. One second he was in Yuki participating in the Chunin exams, the next second reality shifted. He could taste sound, his stomach was in his ass, and he was pretty sure he heard laughing and a finger tapping a surface rapidly.

Okay, he had to get centered. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Now he calmed down. He was still woozy as all get out, but calm nonetheless. Second step, take note of your surrou-.

Who the hell was this guy and why was he coming near him with shiny knuckle knives?!

In a quick second, Naruto jumped forward, knee leading the charge. He made contact with the mystery guy's face and made him fly through the wall, creating another hole directly beside the original.

"Hopefully, that should keep him down... didn't seem like a ninja to me." Naruto mused, peeping his head through the hole. Immediately retracting his head lest he get sliced across the face, Naruto's eyes bulged, "You weren't supposed to be able to get back up! My bones are harder than steel, damn it!"

"Yeah?" Logan asked, sneering at the brat who kicked him while he climbed back through the hole, "Well bub, my whole skeleton is covered in the strongest metal on the planet." The light glinted off of his claws menacingly as he stalked towards Naruto, "I can cut through anything. Believe me, I've tried."

"Oh? Interesting." Naruto's arm came up, aimed directly at his opponent, the signature formation of bones for his shotgun technique making its grand debut, "Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and end this. Futon: Bochi Shifuto (Wind Release: Graveyard Shift)."

One second, the kid grew bones out of his arm and started speaking Japanese. Graveyard shift? The hell does that mean? The sun just came out like three hours ago for fuck's sakes.

Next second, searing pain dominated his face and chest area. He got knocked off his feet and all, back through the hole yet again.

"Yup, I'm awesome." Naruto beamed, doing a celebratory dance. Come to think of it, that's the first time his new jutsu actually connected with somebody. It's almost as if everyone else just gets extremely lucky and pushed out of the way every time he used it before.

This time, Logan just leapt through the hole. The time for slow banter and puffing out one's chest was over the minute this brat blasted him with that shotgun move.

In his universe, he damn sure wasn't the fastest thing breathing, but he was a bit above the average speed levels of regular people.

Unfortunately, in Naruto's universe, speed was something even the slowest shinobi had in spades compared to everyone else. Which meant his reflexes were also advanced enough to see Logan coming at him in damn near slow motion. It was laughably easy to sidestep and boot the guy out of the air, and he smirked once he saw the nasty wound he inflicted on his opponent.

Thank god for jagged bones.

Something he didn't thank god for however, was the fact that he watched Logan's side heal almost instantly, "Yeah, I see why I'm annoying to fight now. Healing factors are stupid." He pouted, crossing his arms in a childish manner.

"So if we both can heal damn near instantly..." Logan began.

"... Then we're both badasses and this fight is ultimately pointless." Naruto nodded in completion, a sage-like expression visible on his face.

Logan looked dryly, "... Right. Anyways," He walked out of the trashed room to head downstairs, with Naruto following behind since the hostility just disappeared, "Everybody's missing, and I'm too sober for this shit so I'm going to try to drink myself stupid."

"I'll join you."

"Nope." The adult of the two shot down any underage drinking on his watch instantly, "Way too young, squirt."

Naruto ran in front of him and started walking backwards, frowning at the denial, "Hey, that's no fair!" He gestured to to his headband on his sleeve, "Where I'm from, we have a cliche we do in response to that! I flick the headband so it makes the ping noise, then I say I'm a ninja and that if I'm old enough to kill, I'm old enough to drink."

"... Whenever you're from, your people are ass backwards. That's got to be one of the dumbest things I've heard in my lifetime." Being alive since the 1800's definitely let you hear some pretty dumb shit over the course of the years, "Seriously brat, you're like no older than twelve. That's your excuse to drink? And people will just go along with it?"

The more Logan tore into it, the more Naruto had to admit that it was pretty stupid.

"... So no alcohol for me?"

"There's apple juice and milk in there, junior. Go nuts."

X.X.X.

 **Hola mi amigos, como estas?¿**

 **I dunno if that's proper upside down question mark usage or not, but you gotta give me my props for at least trying.**

 **This omake just randomly popped in my head. I had to write it. I hope Logan is actually a good movie. I really do.**

 **But yeah, danger! Excitement! Kabuto being nice because why the hell not?**

 **With only one more day left in the second portion, what could happen? Who could die? Who could get into a fight?**

 **You don't know, and I'll let you guess if I know too.**

 **Now that this is done, I can go work on my actual book. Success, here I come.**

 **Until next time, SPVNK out.**


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